1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,560 Hi everyone, welcome to more of Mel, the podcast where we talk about the ins and 2 00:00:05,560 --> 00:00:10,200 outs of young womanhood. I'm your host Melody and on today's episode He Broke 3 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:15,600 I'm Up, we're going to be shitting on our ex-boyfriends and yes I said we because 4 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:20,480 more of Mel is more than thrilled and honored to introduce its very first guest 5 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:24,840 Grace Kinney. Oh my god I know everyone's clapping right now there's no way 6 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:28,960 they're not. So would you like to introduce yourself to the listeners 7 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:33,600 Gracie? Of course! Hey guys I'm so excited to be the first guest on your 8 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:38,000 podcast like I feel so honored. I'm so excited too when you reached out to me 9 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:43,720 I was like um yes like absolutely so really before we get into this I just 10 00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:48,240 think it's so crazy that we're the ones doing this episode because why on earth 11 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:51,920 would anyone ever think of breaking up with us it's actually insane to think 12 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:57,120 about like whoa. That is so real because like you and I like irreplaceable. No 13 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:00,800 actually like they can't see us right now I know you guys are only listening but 14 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:05,440 trust me like we're the baddest bitches like to live so it's just so insane and 15 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:10,320 evil that someone would even think of breaking up with us. Oh yeah so some 16 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:15,480 questions for you and I think they're gonna stem some conversations so on the 17 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:19,320 real how many times have you been broken up with? I have been broken up with once. 18 00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:25,240 No way! Yeah! I'm kind of embarrassed to say mine I've been can you believe that 19 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:29,200 every single boyfriend I've had has broken up with me and I've never done 20 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:34,200 the breaking up ever. If only they could see my face right now I am like shocked 21 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:39,240 like I just don't understand. It's so insane cuz like I want to break up with 22 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:42,440 them but then I'm like oh like do I really want to be single right now and 23 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:45,400 then they end up breaking up with me like a week later which is like it's like 24 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:49,600 we always know. We always we're gonna get into that trust me like it's actually 25 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:53,400 so fucking insane like I'm sick and tired of being broken up with which is why 26 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:57,120 I'm in my single era right now hopefully the next man I find I'm gonna get 27 00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:02,400 married to him cuz I really can't do with this shit anymore honestly. So real. So in 28 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:07,080 this breakup was there a build-up of things that occurred before the breakup 29 00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:10,960 in other words where was there a feeling that the person was going to dump you? 30 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:17,720 Oh 1,000%! Would you care to elaborate? Oh of course so I think it was like a month 31 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:21,920 before we broke up. The reason why we did break up was because of long distance 32 00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:27,320 in college. I'm sure there could have been other reasons too but basically I 33 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:32,040 remember saying to him I was like so long distance this is something that you 34 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:35,840 want and I remember he was like yeah yeah yeah but then he like added like a 35 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:41,200 but like just know like no matter what happens like I like I'll always love you 36 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:44,840 and I'm always there for you and I was like at the time I was miss Dulu I was 37 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:49,440 like okay but then what happened was a month later this is like I actually 38 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:54,040 wrote my speech comm like podcast about this because the story is fucking insane 39 00:02:54,040 --> 00:03:00,480 like basically the day before like our last day ever like before I left because 40 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,720 I live like in a different state over the summer and then I was going to college 41 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:07,040 so we're gonna do like a really like nice like last day we're gonna light 42 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:12,240 lanterns up with the sky you know like so romantic but so basically the day 43 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:16,040 before that happened like I was we went like on a pottery day we like painted 44 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:20,360 and I was like so like you can just give these to me when you come visit me over 45 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:24,680 the summer and I remember he was like rookie mistake yes I know and then he 46 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:30,960 goes like yeah yeah and then I got all like I was overthinking it for so long 47 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:35,240 I went to work after that date and like I'm a nanny and so like I went to my to 48 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:38,760 the mom I was like sobbing I'm like I just know like something that is gonna 49 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:42,240 happen and like I texted him to make sure I was like this is what you want right 50 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:49,440 and then he goes yes but oh my gosh but it's always the but and so I could 51 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:54,560 literally like talk about this for hours like please do I'm gonna give you the 52 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:59,880 content so this final day like I the whole day I was dreading it I knew I had 53 00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:03,360 a pit in my stomach of course and girls intuitions are never wrong guys let me 54 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:07,960 tell you that never wrong I could say in so many different situations like that 55 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:12,640 that one girl or you should be worried about like you should be worried about 56 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:18,400 her because I'm always fucking right like I always know but the problem the 57 00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:22,960 best part was like the whole day like the weather was bad like I woke up and I 58 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:26,360 was just like I just fucking know something bad is going to happen today 59 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:29,800 and I just like I the feeling it's gonna be that and I didn't really tell any of 60 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,240 my friends about this because the problem like or the thing was with our 61 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:35,440 relationship was like there were no problems ever yeah like no one was 62 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:39,840 expecting this this was like a curveball yeah so the only person I told was my 63 00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:44,800 best friend Camille and then my sister Margaret and so I like went to the mall 64 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:47,680 that day got my nails done I went swimming with my friends and went to 65 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:53,680 like a graduation party and basically after that it was our last day like 66 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:57,160 that's how it's ending off the night and so I get the lanterns and we're out and 67 00:04:57,160 --> 00:05:02,520 like we're in the park and we're sitting in the middle like we found an open spot 68 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:07,320 the wind it was perfectly fine yeah we're like lighting the wax piece to put 69 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:13,880 into the lantern this is like abnormally big I'm like this is really scary like 70 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:17,920 but it's too late to like do anything about it because it got too hot for us 71 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:22,560 to hold so we had to let the lantern go into the sky it was rising and it wasn't 72 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:27,320 even like a romantic like let into the sky like it was a frantic release oh 73 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:32,160 because the tension was already so high yeah we walked there in silence like it 74 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:37,160 was insane and then out of nowhere a gust of wind takes the lantern puts it 75 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:42,840 right into a tree oh my god we both start freaking out we're both like we're 76 00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:46,760 committing arson right now we're gonna burn down the oldest rose garden the 77 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:50,520 United States like how the hell are we gonna tell our parents that like we 78 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:55,160 literally just committed arson and there's like people walking around the 79 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:59,520 park and people are stopping and staring at us oh no no one was saying anything 80 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:04,040 but people are just looking and it was the most mortifying experience I ever 81 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:07,760 had and did you guys not do anything we couldn't really do anything about it the 82 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:12,520 tree was like 20 it was 25 feet up oh my god and so we're like we're standing 83 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:16,440 there we're like watching it and eventually it burnt out but both of us 84 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:20,040 were so anxious like we both were freaking out oh absolutely like 85 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:24,120 reasonably so but I just remember after we sat on this bench underneath the 86 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:29,240 tree for like 25 minutes just like looking up at it no words no words oh 87 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:33,920 completely silent cannot which set upon my worst enemy it was the most 88 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:37,520 uncomfortable experience of my life it was literally just silence and then he 89 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:41,960 goes we should probably go now it's like I know where the fuck this is going 90 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:46,640 so we get up and start walking and he's like I hate to be the one to bring 91 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:52,280 this up but I think we should talk about this and I'm like yeah here's 92 00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:56,320 immediately oh yeah absolutely and they never hate to bring this up they love to 93 00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:59,520 bring that shit up he was probably waited to bring it up it's a gaslight you 94 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:04,240 honestly like literally we walked out my neighborhood for an hour and I was 95 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:10,840 sobbing the whole entire time and he didn't cry one tear oh my god no and it 96 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:14,240 was supposed to be like a you know how we are like we're best friends like yeah 97 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:18,560 like amicable quote-unquote like shut up and I'm like okay girl like let's be real 98 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:23,520 like we're not gonna like this is not like a chill thing yeah like and I just 99 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:28,560 remember like actually halfway through our breakup my older brother calls me and 100 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:32,800 like I said no one knew this was coming yeah so he calls me and he's like bro 101 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:36,720 like my my younger brother Patrick he's like Patrick's in a car like they got 102 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:40,720 pulled over like because basically my his friend was like illegally driving them 103 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:45,200 oh my god they had like it wasn't like a basically like you have in Connecticut 104 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:49,080 you have to have your license for a full year before you can drive oh yeah so 105 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:52,960 she didn't like it was over it wasn't over a year yet so basically they got 106 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:56,480 pulled over and then basically like no one got in trouble yeah she just had like 107 00:07:56,480 --> 00:08:00,000 a warning and then he had to get picked up by somebody else though and he's like 108 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,520 great you have to go pick him up like I can't get him right now and I'm like 109 00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:07,760 sobbing and I'm like I really can't right now like I'm kind of in the middle of something 110 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:14,000 he goes like why the fuck are you crying I was like I gotta go and I was like of 111 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:17,720 course out of all the things that happen like that happen yeah and so then like we 112 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:20,600 couldn't like the breakup ends like where we end up outside of my house we're 113 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:24,880 neighbors so he lives two houses down for me so he walks me up to my house and 114 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:28,760 he's like do you still want me to come to your graduation party tomorrow and I'm 115 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:36,520 like the audacity what the hell I was like since it was yes oh god I do the same 116 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:41,320 honestly no but so then I go yeah of course like of course I want you there 117 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:46,400 um like wouldn't miss it for the world and he was like yeah I know like I just 118 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:49,160 want to drop off like your gift like my parents got you a gift and like that 119 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:55,960 sort of stuff that must have hit so hard just wait like I like it's worse this is 120 00:08:55,960 --> 00:09:01,640 like the topping on the cake like I remember I walked back inside and since 121 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:04,520 I told my sister she's like playing the piano in our like room that's like that 122 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:08,520 we first walk into and she like looks over at me and she's like no way he 123 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:13,160 actually did and I'm just like sobbing I'm sitting on the chair next to her 124 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:16,840 crying and she's like I don't know what to do and then my parents were out they 125 00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:20,760 were at this like baseball game and they come home and my mom's like she didn't 126 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,800 even see me crying yet she was like grace why didn't you go pick up Patrick I 127 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:29,280 was like I'm sorry I was in the middle of a breakup oh my god and she goes 128 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:34,040 wait it's all literally and she goes no way she's like why did you break up now 129 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:40,000 because my mom had no idea yeah and I was like Cape Cod and like school and she 130 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:45,280 literally I cannot make this up goes up to me and she goes it's okay Grace it's 131 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:53,120 hot girl summer now oh my god I mean you are like president Shay like we love her 132 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:57,600 and I was like I don't I laugh because I don't think she fully understands what 133 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:03,760 that means but it was literally like that made me like that changed my mood so 134 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:06,520 quickly and like all my siblings were there for me it was like it was like a 135 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:10,800 very great experience and yeah I just remember the next day of my graduation 136 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:14,280 party like I didn't tell most of my friends who were there yet because they're 137 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:19,280 all like oh where is he where is he yeah I'm like oh like he's coming story he's 138 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:24,720 coming but like we broke up yesterday and everyone all went like their mouths 139 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:28,880 dropped to the floor like no one was expecting it like it was insane and 140 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:33,800 the book he's okay I thought he'd be there maybe for like 30 minutes and bless 141 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:37,520 his heart really like I really appreciate that he still did come because like I 142 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:42,440 didn't have any like hard feelings towards him whatsoever yeah and I still 143 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:46,400 don't I like it just like obviously break up you're better than me break up 144 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:51,880 suck it's it's so completely understandable like and yeah it was just 145 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:56,040 like so awkward the whole time but he stayed he was like one of the last 146 00:10:56,040 --> 00:11:02,040 people to leave no way and I was like oh I felt so bad because like he clearly 147 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:07,720 like didn't want to be like malicious or anything like it did suck and it's just 148 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:13,440 the story is funny because well I was not expecting any of what you told me it 149 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:19,240 was just shock after shock honestly what the fuck no but me the funniest story I 150 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:23,640 have like it's embarrassing for me because the first boyfriend I ever had 151 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:27,640 I'm not gonna name his name but you deserve to be burned in the deepest pits 152 00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:33,080 of fucking hell oh my god what happened okay so first of all let me put this out 153 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:36,720 there he did not even ask me to be his girlfriend like in a good way like he was 154 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:41,880 like oh so you're my girl now like some shit and my dumb ass was like oh yeah 155 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:48,600 like tea okay so everything was going great honeymoon stage whatever my mom 156 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:51,960 hated him that should have been the first that's always a son my mom is always 157 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:57,120 right about everything shout out to you mom so she hated him and like she would 158 00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:01,400 never let me see him ever so I used to like sneak around like I'm going to my 159 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:05,400 friend's house mind you I was going to his house okay so towards that he had 160 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:08,880 this girl best friend another red flag I really don't know red flag I really 161 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:12,400 don't know what went through my mind when I said yes to this man but anyways I was 162 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:17,160 really dumb and stupid and naive so yeah he had this girl best friend she did 163 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:21,280 not like me like whatsoever and she did not even pretend to like me not once 164 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:25,560 during this relationship so I remember distinctively remember this one night me 165 00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:29,440 and him were FaceTiming and he was on like he was FaceTiming me on his phone 166 00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:33,120 and I think it was his iPad or his laptop he was FaceTiming her so I can 167 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:37,800 hear their conversation yeah I can hear their conversation and apparently she 168 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:41,600 was quote-unquote drunk that night or whatever and I could hear her saying 169 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:45,440 the meanest things about me she's like oh you should be with me not with her 170 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:50,440 just goes on a tangent about how I'm not good for him right and did he defend 171 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:55,400 you no mind you I sir I can hear everything that's going on with you and 172 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:59,840 this bitch right now and so I looked past it I was like okay whatever like I was 173 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:03,080 being so stupid and naive so I didn't tell anyone about that because I was 174 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:05,840 embarrassed like I was like you could not tell anyone about this because you're 175 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:11,600 so stupid right now for staying with him anyways so I think it was right before 176 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:17,440 summer right before we left school for summer um he breaks up with me and I 177 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:21,160 was like okay whatever like your mom hot girl summer as fuck 178 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:31,840 right so I find out that he was cheating on me with this girl for four 179 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:36,480 months of the relationship oh this is not even the gag the gag is summer goes 180 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:42,400 by right and we're back in Haiti and I'm at a restaurant and I see them on a date 181 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:47,640 and I'm like like actually bitch I was actually gagged not even figuratively 182 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:53,440 literally gagged I almost threw up my yes so then I text all of my group chats 183 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:56,520 I'm like oh my god you'll never guess who I saw at this restaurant so-and-so 184 00:13:56,520 --> 00:14:01,240 with this dumbass bitch and then they're like oh my god yeah like didn't you know 185 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:04,800 they're dating now like their boyfriend and girlfriend and they didn't tell you 186 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:12,760 and I was like what the hell like what like actually I was just so beyond words 187 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,520 like there were no words that could describe what I was feeling that day 188 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:20,320 because you're you were in a relationship with me telling me oh I love you 189 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:24,680 like you're the one for me blah blah and then not even two weeks after we break 190 00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:28,440 up you're in another relationship apparently in love with this other girl 191 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:34,520 like what the hell I feel like just men really can't be honest no they really 192 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:40,680 they have like their brains if they have brains are not able to process anything 193 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:46,400 like comprehensively whatsoever and the worst part is so I'm I think this was 194 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:50,160 like a year or six months later right this is in the midst of COVID and I 195 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:53,480 already have another boyfriend by that time treated me super good that's the 196 00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:57,360 only boyfriend I have nothing like yeah nothing bad to say about him nothing 197 00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:00,960 against him so I'm in this happy relationship with this boy and blah 198 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:05,760 blah like everything's going so good I get a text from the girl best friend so 199 00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:10,040 I'm like whoa what the hell like what is going on with my life right now I'm not 200 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:14,200 like I'm not dealing with this so I have swipe on snap and it's basically her 201 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:18,560 telling me hey melody like I feel like there's such bad blood between us blah 202 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:22,080 blah like I really want to know what you have against me like I don't know what I 203 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:26,880 did bitch are you see like be so for real right now and I'm trying to keep my 204 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:30,760 composure trying to keep it cute and classy and I'm like hey like I really 205 00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:34,640 have nothing against you like I've moved on like everything's in the past you 206 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:38,160 like no but I feel like there's still some tension between us blah blah like 207 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:42,080 reaching no literally reaching trying to keep the conversation going and I'm 208 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:46,320 like listen homie like there is no tension between us like you did what you 209 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:49,640 did he did what he did let's just leave it at that I really don't want any 210 00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:53,760 contact with either of you like please leave me alone just like okay like I 211 00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:57,800 just really want to know how you're doing like if you're doing I was like what 212 00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:02,320 leave me alone like I really don't have the capacity to talk to you right now 213 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:06,560 like I don't want to hear from you that is insane no that would actually like 214 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:11,400 make me live it no yeah I was I was so upset but then I was like okay but then 215 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,180 four months later like they had a four months long relationship and they 216 00:16:14,180 --> 00:16:17,480 fucking broke up so I was like okay I guess I wasn't the problem karma's a 217 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:21,600 bitch like karma is a bitch like it will come back to bite you in the asshole 218 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:26,920 1000% oh yeah I think they're like low-key enemies now because I think his 219 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:32,240 cousins oh my god I can't say this because if they listen wait they're gonna 220 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:38,560 recognize themselves I really can't say anything so sorry I'll tell you I really 221 00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:42,920 do because they will recognize Haiti is like this small people like if I say 222 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:47,280 something oh they will recognize them no yeah I held back some things in my 223 00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:50,400 story because I'm like I don't want to pay him as like a villain because he 224 00:16:50,400 --> 00:17:01,280 really wasn't but like I'm still like break up like another question like 225 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:05,800 how did you feel when you were broken up with like was it more of a sense of 226 00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:08,760 relief or were you distraught now that I heard your story I feel like you were a 227 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:14,720 little bit distraught but I was distraught for like two days I got so 228 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:20,480 real serious like I thought that this breakup would destroy me I thought it 229 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:23,240 was the end of the world because honestly like he was my first like real 230 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:27,280 boyfriend like I had like situations before that but like which fucking suck 231 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:32,200 by the way let me say that right now that could be a whole different podcast but 232 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:38,400 he was my first like real boyfriend and so for like two days like honestly I'm 233 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:43,120 not even exaggerating I was extremely upset about it and but I had to like get 234 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:47,360 my shit together because literally the next day I woke up and I was like no way 235 00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:51,280 that all happened last night like that's ridiculous I thought it was a 236 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:55,080 fever dream and I like but then I was like no like this is real and but then 237 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:58,240 like all my family's coming over today for my graduation party like the time 238 00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:02,760 he was horrible yeah but I think what helped me get over it and honestly there 239 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:07,920 was that sense of relief was like I went to I went like over a hundred miles away 240 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:13,920 yeah the next day so like I just felt distanced and I had the space that I 241 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:19,080 needed to kind of like move on yeah which is something that I think was so 242 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:23,080 beneficial it's so essential to have that time to yourself and like reflect 243 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:27,000 and do some introspective work especially after like your first boyfriend like you 244 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:31,440 said like you really needed that I feel like me personally I relate to you with 245 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,800 that two-day thing because I feel like every time I've been broken up with I 246 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:41,040 cried for like the full like first day after like so mad so sad like depression 247 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:45,480 but then the next day I was like okay I guess that just happened like time to 248 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:49,160 move on like I don't know I feel like there's just nothing you can do at that 249 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:52,720 point like what can you do are you gonna stay sad for like three years all the 250 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:57,160 other person because mind you this boy is not thinking about what he did like he 251 00:18:57,160 --> 00:19:01,560 he will not be giving you the time of day in his brain like at all so you just 252 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:05,440 have to do that work on your own honestly and it turns out being like for 253 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:10,080 the best at the end of the day I remember this is another ex-boyfriend oh 254 00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:14,960 this one is the worst one honestly I'm not gonna give the story time basically 255 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:19,040 long story short he cheated on me it was a long distance thing I'm not gonna say 256 00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:23,200 where he moved because he's gonna realize that I'm talking about him but he 257 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:28,160 moved like a long ways away and so we were trying long distance I was 258 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:31,760 convinced bitch I would you see those TikTok sounds that was like oh like he 259 00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:35,160 needs me he looked bitch I was manifesting that shit I have so many 260 00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:39,760 drafts because I was suspecting a lot I was like hmm why what are you doing in 261 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:43,960 this girl's room at three o'clock in the morning I was like no like she's just a 262 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:50,080 friend watching a movie fuck you like don't play hello my face right now no so 263 00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:54,280 yeah cheated on me he broke up with me before I found out I found out like three 264 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:59,080 or four days later right oh the next day after he broke up with me I had a 265 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:04,000 Halloween party bitch I wore the tiniest black dress I could find as I literally 266 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:07,640 got so drunk with all of my best girlfriends it was a time of my life and 267 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,760 then the next day it was like nothing happened because at the end of the day 268 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:17,200 sorry twin like you're broke I'm up like literally what else can I say like like 269 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:22,480 so sorry you're the one who fumbled a bag not me exactly and that was honestly I 270 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:26,760 think like I'm sure we'll probably end up talking about this more but there's 271 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:32,000 always that intuition where it's like you always like have moved on before the 272 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:36,120 actual breakup yeah you know it's coming and that's something that I felt but like 273 00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:40,720 I didn't want to admit and so which is why I think I did move on like so fast but 274 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:45,120 I just remember like where was I going with this I had like a train I had like a 275 00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:51,400 really important point but I just think it's oh yeah so after we broke up he 276 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:54,560 kept on trying to reach out and oh trying to talk cuz like you know we're 277 00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:59,640 friends yeah and I just remember being like girl like why do you keep on 278 00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:04,840 texting me like stop like like what I everything I always do after something 279 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:08,880 like big happens in my life where it's like negative I like to like get a 280 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:14,400 haircut and I'll just cut off that energy which I honestly think is so real it 281 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:19,200 is like I cut off a good like five inches off my hair that theory is so real 282 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:23,040 it's so true something about your hair after something traumatic happens yes 283 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:27,320 like your brand new your whole I feel like a whole new person exact and I 284 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:30,960 remember like I posted on my story that I was like guys like I love how my hair 285 00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:33,600 turned out because I'm so impulsive I was driving with my friend I was like 286 00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:38,320 what if I just cut my hair right now and she's like there right now and I 287 00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:42,320 remember he slid up and he was like I love it like it looks so nice and I was 288 00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:49,080 like I literally like from 142 miles away gave him the biggest side-eye as 289 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:53,360 fuck yeah and I remember being like thanks but then he kept on trying to talk 290 00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:57,600 to me and it was just like constantly and I just get it because like men don't 291 00:21:57,600 --> 00:22:02,480 have the same intuition as women do so like he didn't really have like he was 292 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:05,880 still in that phase where it's like things don't really feel that different 293 00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:11,000 from yet and he just kept on like reaching out and I was just like look I 294 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:15,360 understand I really do and I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt but 295 00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:20,600 yeah I personally need my space exactly I need to go as a person and I'm not 296 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:25,000 gonna like keep like that like tied to me so like I didn't really engage that 297 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:28,040 much if any like I remember there was one point where I accidentally left him 298 00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:32,440 like he like said something and I didn't answer for like four days and I felt 299 00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:36,480 like so bad but also the same time I was like I don't owe him anything exactly you 300 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:39,640 have to come to realize that once especially if it's the person that broke 301 00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:43,680 up with you exactly like you need to realize you do not owe them jack shit 302 00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:49,160 exactly that realization and then once you do your life just like switches like 303 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:53,960 you start putting yourself first and that's when you have men crawling begging 304 00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:59,120 exactly and the crazy thing is when you mentioned that like it's crazy how men 305 00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:03,360 always double back circle back circle back to you you cannot oh my god the guy 306 00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:08,360 who cheated on me in another country right he texted me I think it was in 307 00:23:08,360 --> 00:23:13,760 August I think it was two days before move-in day right oh my god yeah so at 308 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:19,000 that point he was blocked so I don't know how he knew I was coming to Boston but 309 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:23,000 I still follow some of his family so maybe that's how right yeah so I received 310 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:26,560 because he was on my archive on a WhatsApp because us Haitians we love 311 00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:30,920 what's that right so he was on my archive and I see a notification on my 312 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:34,600 archives and I'm like oh my god please don't let this be who I think it is and 313 00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:39,760 it was yeah because I'm always right hello and so it was a text from him that 314 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:44,440 was like oh like hey I really hope you're gonna settle really good into your 315 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:48,320 new home for the next four years like I wish you nothing but the best blah blah 316 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:52,440 you deserve everything good and I was like yeah twin I know I never I just 317 00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:55,640 left him on red because I was like that is so not worth my energy because I know 318 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:59,640 exactly I know you're gonna keep trying to like invoke conversation and I'm just 319 00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:03,000 not gonna play into that because that's just your little mind game to be like oh 320 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:06,960 she wants me back so bad like yeah and he's gonna like take a screenshot oh yeah 321 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:12,280 oh look what she just texted me like men love to pretend like they don't like to 322 00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:17,000 gossip oh my god there's such women they are such women bro I say this all the 323 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:22,400 time my friends I'm like they just want to be girls so bad me and my friend 324 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:26,960 yeah we always like you want to have a pussy so bad like you don't have one 325 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:31,480 please deal with it not on my turf though like leave us alone like anybody 326 00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:36,560 else but me like leave me out of it thank you exactly another thing I think 327 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:41,000 this is one of the last things we're gonna talk about is getting your lick 328 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:46,720 back bitch after that breakup oh my can we talk about the glow that you get 329 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:51,480 after a breakup the best glow I got was after the cheater in another country oh 330 00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:56,680 let me tell you bitch I dyed my hair pitch black I have highlights right dyed 331 00:24:56,680 --> 00:25:02,960 my hair pitch black oh my god I was so hot like I sorry to sound narcissistic 332 00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:08,520 I'm really not or anything but oh my god like I felt so good about myself my 333 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:13,320 confidence shot so high up like it was insane and it's still here so I've come 334 00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:17,380 to realize that when you were the problem so sorry you need to figure some 335 00:25:17,380 --> 00:25:20,080 things out on your own because I definitely wasn't the problem like the 336 00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:23,760 glow I had after you left me is actually something that needs to be studied like 337 00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:29,440 no really like honestly I see it in every single like woman that goes through 338 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:33,800 this like you just I think it's kind of like when you're finally like cut off 339 00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:38,800 from those ties like just being in a relationship you finally like it kind of 340 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:42,640 gives you a sense of realization yeah who you can be and who you want to be and 341 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:48,200 so I think it's really just like letting go of all those like insecurities that 342 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:51,120 were holding you back and just like kind of growing to the person you want to 343 00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:56,120 become exact like I remember for me like I don't think I mean I cut my hair but I 344 00:25:56,120 --> 00:26:01,400 just remember like feeling so like free and just like because also it was the 345 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:05,320 summer like it was my last summer before going to college like I was just 346 00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:08,880 enjoying it and I honestly I had such a fun summer was one of my favorite 347 00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:12,280 summer and I just think about it I'm like I honestly would have been like 348 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:16,440 miserable just because long distance is so hard and it obviously like I'm not 349 00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:20,240 saying anything against it because I'm yeah some people can make it work but I 350 00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:25,720 am very fortunate for the way it turns out the thing oh my god I'm very fortunate 351 00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:30,680 for the way that things turned out because like like I said like no like 352 00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:36,920 true hard feelings like I just felt like like my own person and like going to 353 00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:41,800 college fresh and like actually before I went to school if you remember I cut my 354 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:46,920 hair yeah and it was like almost a bob like it was so sure and the beginning of 355 00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:51,040 the school year like my hair was probably like past like it was yeah it was 356 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:56,120 super long and honestly I just went to school feeling like a completely new 357 00:26:56,120 --> 00:27:00,480 person which is such an amazing feeling I feel like because especially what when 358 00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:04,000 we're at the age we are out when we get broken up with it's like our whole world 359 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:09,960 is shattered actually insane but we need to realize that this person was the 360 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:14,160 first of many breakups like this is not the last man that will ever like quote 361 00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:19,200 unquote break our hearts and we just need to realize like we like we're such 362 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:25,600 bad bitches so sorry you guys like we just have to realize that once we do no 363 00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:29,600 man will ever be able to hurt you like that first one did like I can say this 364 00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:33,440 from experience like that one breakup with the girl best friend situation after 365 00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:40,640 that I was really like untouchable bitch like every literally like I don't even 366 00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:45,080 know how to explain it it's just a feeling you get I know all of the women 367 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:51,840 listening to this can attest to this fact honestly yeah like anybody who like 368 00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:56,600 goes through this like and everyone does at one point in their life like younger 369 00:27:56,600 --> 00:28:01,280 or older it still hurts just as much and you just realizing your self-worth and 370 00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:06,320 just realizing like just because somebody broke up with you does not make you any 371 00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:11,480 less of a person oh absolutely honestly like I always say I'm so thankful for the 372 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:14,720 experience and the feelings that I did feel because as much as they do fucking 373 00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:20,760 suck because they do I am so thankful that I was able to feel those emotions 374 00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:25,920 like sadness the anger like all of that it like made me grow so much and I 375 00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:30,160 really don't think I would have gotten that like post breakup oh yeah without 376 00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:34,760 those emotions because it really like it changes you it's character building it 377 00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:37,920 is such character building yeah it's so important like you need to experience 378 00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:42,360 those things to grow as a person so that's honestly my take on it yeah and 379 00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:47,240 I'm like I don't know I'm just I honestly right now on another note I just love 380 00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:52,040 being single right now and no shade or tea to anyone in a relationship you guys 381 00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:56,320 are so cute and lovely I love you guys but I don't know I feel like right now 382 00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:59,920 especially where I am at in my life like I'm working on so many different things 383 00:28:59,920 --> 00:29:05,120 like this podcast for example and things for school and just to build up my my 384 00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:08,640 resume and I just feel like if I did have a boyfriend not that he would hold me 385 00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:13,320 back but that I wouldn't be able to put like my all into all of those things and 386 00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:18,040 I'm just so grateful honestly maybe the right guy will come with due time I don't 387 00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:22,240 know Emerson men you guys kind of scare me as of right now time to switch things 388 00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:27,440 up like I said in the first episode tune in same shame the self promo but no 389 00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:31,920 yeah maybe he will come and do time hoping and praying but I don't know as of 390 00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:36,760 right now I'm lucky cool with the single life honestly what about you so I agree 391 00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:42,480 with you and honestly like this is like the time to be single in my opinion like 392 00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:46,360 this is the time to kind of like figure shit out about yourself and I do like 393 00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:50,320 that and especially after being in a relationship very recently being single 394 00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:54,560 has been like freeing and just kind of like nice to just like experience 395 00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:59,120 especially in college I think for me it really depends on the day sometimes I'm 396 00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:02,600 like you know what I love being single like this is so fun but then there's 397 00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:06,440 also sometimes when I'm like I kind of miss that yeah I totally agree with you 398 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:09,560 like I feel you there's always that balance where it's like shit I really 399 00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:13,040 wish I had someone to hold my hand in this cold-ass weather but then on the flip 400 00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:16,640 side there's always those days where like oh my god I can literally go to this 401 00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:21,560 rap party get drunk as fuck not worry exactly being on my ass all night you 402 00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:25,160 know exactly it's just like the balance of everything it's just nice to have both 403 00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:29,880 but like I like you were saying like this is like there's so many things we're 404 00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:35,320 accomplishing right now exactly being like just only really being there for 405 00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:40,520 yourself is something that's so important yeah and having that like self love 406 00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:43,520 and self care and all of that contributes to the person that you become 407 00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:47,800 and like you really can't be in a relationship you're not at that point 408 00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:51,760 exactly like once you're like healed and like you're like you're like you know let's 409 00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:56,040 settle down like I'm feeling like absolutely absolutely like do that but 410 00:30:56,040 --> 00:31:00,440 also like being single is so nice at like a lot of the time just because like 411 00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:05,280 it's just you and like that's really all like who you have to be there for you're 412 00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:10,520 so right for that all right you guys that's all we have for you thank you so 413 00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:15,680 so so much for tuning into today's episode of more of mel he broke I'm up 414 00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:19,760 again it's your host Mel and I really hope you enjoy the topic of the day 415 00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:24,440 breakups before during and after and I really want to give a shout out to G 416 00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:30,400 motherfucking the first ever guest she did amazing and I can't wait to have you on 417 00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:34,480 on another episode I would love to like thank you so much for having me today 418 00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:39,520 I'm so excited when this goes up I know you have so many fans already you're just 419 00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:44,440 gonna bring my my engagement up and I'm just so happy to have you here to have 420 00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:49,160 been able to talk to you about this trauma dump etc it was such a fun time 421 00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:54,040 genuinely yes anyways guys I love you all so much and tune in next time on more 422 00:31:54,040 --> 00:32:17,400 of now