Hi everyone, welcome to more of Mel, the podcast where we talk about the ins and
outs of young womanhood. I'm your host Melody and on today's episode He Broke
I'm Up, we're going to be shitting on our ex-boyfriends and yes I said we because
more of Mel is more than thrilled and honored to introduce its very first guest
Grace Kinney. Oh my god I know everyone's clapping right now there's no way
they're not. So would you like to introduce yourself to the listeners
Gracie? Of course! Hey guys I'm so excited to be the first guest on your
podcast like I feel so honored. I'm so excited too when you reached out to me
I was like um yes like absolutely so really before we get into this I just
think it's so crazy that we're the ones doing this episode because why on earth
would anyone ever think of breaking up with us it's actually insane to think
about like whoa. That is so real because like you and I like irreplaceable. No
actually like they can't see us right now I know you guys are only listening but
trust me like we're the baddest bitches like to live so it's just so insane and
evil that someone would even think of breaking up with us. Oh yeah so some
questions for you and I think they're gonna stem some conversations so on the
real how many times have you been broken up with? I have been broken up with once.
No way! Yeah! I'm kind of embarrassed to say mine I've been can you believe that
every single boyfriend I've had has broken up with me and I've never done
the breaking up ever. If only they could see my face right now I am like shocked
like I just don't understand. It's so insane cuz like I want to break up with
them but then I'm like oh like do I really want to be single right now and
then they end up breaking up with me like a week later which is like it's like
we always know. We always we're gonna get into that trust me like it's actually
so fucking insane like I'm sick and tired of being broken up with which is why
I'm in my single era right now hopefully the next man I find I'm gonna get
married to him cuz I really can't do with this shit anymore honestly. So real. So in
this breakup was there a build-up of things that occurred before the breakup
in other words where was there a feeling that the person was going to dump you?
Oh 1,000%! Would you care to elaborate? Oh of course so I think it was like a month
before we broke up. The reason why we did break up was because of long distance
in college. I'm sure there could have been other reasons too but basically I
remember saying to him I was like so long distance this is something that you
want and I remember he was like yeah yeah yeah but then he like added like a
but like just know like no matter what happens like I like I'll always love you
and I'm always there for you and I was like at the time I was miss Dulu I was
like okay but then what happened was a month later this is like I actually
wrote my speech comm like podcast about this because the story is fucking insane
like basically the day before like our last day ever like before I left because
I live like in a different state over the summer and then I was going to college
so we're gonna do like a really like nice like last day we're gonna light
lanterns up with the sky you know like so romantic but so basically the day
before that happened like I was we went like on a pottery day we like painted
and I was like so like you can just give these to me when you come visit me over
the summer and I remember he was like rookie mistake yes I know and then he
goes like yeah yeah and then I got all like I was overthinking it for so long
I went to work after that date and like I'm a nanny and so like I went to my to
the mom I was like sobbing I'm like I just know like something that is gonna
happen and like I texted him to make sure I was like this is what you want right
and then he goes yes but oh my gosh but it's always the but and so I could
literally like talk about this for hours like please do I'm gonna give you the
content so this final day like I the whole day I was dreading it I knew I had
a pit in my stomach of course and girls intuitions are never wrong guys let me
tell you that never wrong I could say in so many different situations like that
that one girl or you should be worried about like you should be worried about
her because I'm always fucking right like I always know but the problem the
best part was like the whole day like the weather was bad like I woke up and I
was just like I just fucking know something bad is going to happen today
and I just like I the feeling it's gonna be that and I didn't really tell any of
my friends about this because the problem like or the thing was with our
relationship was like there were no problems ever yeah like no one was
expecting this this was like a curveball yeah so the only person I told was my
best friend Camille and then my sister Margaret and so I like went to the mall
that day got my nails done I went swimming with my friends and went to
like a graduation party and basically after that it was our last day like
that's how it's ending off the night and so I get the lanterns and we're out and
like we're in the park and we're sitting in the middle like we found an open spot
the wind it was perfectly fine yeah we're like lighting the wax piece to put
into the lantern this is like abnormally big I'm like this is really scary like
but it's too late to like do anything about it because it got too hot for us
to hold so we had to let the lantern go into the sky it was rising and it wasn't
even like a romantic like let into the sky like it was a frantic release oh
because the tension was already so high yeah we walked there in silence like it
was insane and then out of nowhere a gust of wind takes the lantern puts it
right into a tree oh my god we both start freaking out we're both like we're
committing arson right now we're gonna burn down the oldest rose garden the
United States like how the hell are we gonna tell our parents that like we
literally just committed arson and there's like people walking around the
park and people are stopping and staring at us oh no no one was saying anything
but people are just looking and it was the most mortifying experience I ever
had and did you guys not do anything we couldn't really do anything about it the
tree was like 20 it was 25 feet up oh my god and so we're like we're standing
there we're like watching it and eventually it burnt out but both of us
were so anxious like we both were freaking out oh absolutely like
reasonably so but I just remember after we sat on this bench underneath the
tree for like 25 minutes just like looking up at it no words no words oh
completely silent cannot which set upon my worst enemy it was the most
uncomfortable experience of my life it was literally just silence and then he
goes we should probably go now it's like I know where the fuck this is going
so we get up and start walking and he's like I hate to be the one to bring
this up but I think we should talk about this and I'm like yeah here's
immediately oh yeah absolutely and they never hate to bring this up they love to
bring that shit up he was probably waited to bring it up it's a gaslight you
honestly like literally we walked out my neighborhood for an hour and I was
sobbing the whole entire time and he didn't cry one tear oh my god no and it
was supposed to be like a you know how we are like we're best friends like yeah
like amicable quote-unquote like shut up and I'm like okay girl like let's be real
like we're not gonna like this is not like a chill thing yeah like and I just
remember like actually halfway through our breakup my older brother calls me and
like I said no one knew this was coming yeah so he calls me and he's like bro
like my my younger brother Patrick he's like Patrick's in a car like they got
pulled over like because basically my his friend was like illegally driving them
oh my god they had like it wasn't like a basically like you have in Connecticut
you have to have your license for a full year before you can drive oh yeah so
she didn't like it was over it wasn't over a year yet so basically they got
pulled over and then basically like no one got in trouble yeah she just had like
a warning and then he had to get picked up by somebody else though and he's like
great you have to go pick him up like I can't get him right now and I'm like
sobbing and I'm like I really can't right now like I'm kind of in the middle of something
he goes like why the fuck are you crying I was like I gotta go and I was like of
course out of all the things that happen like that happen yeah and so then like we
couldn't like the breakup ends like where we end up outside of my house we're
neighbors so he lives two houses down for me so he walks me up to my house and
he's like do you still want me to come to your graduation party tomorrow and I'm
like the audacity what the hell I was like since it was yes oh god I do the same
honestly no but so then I go yeah of course like of course I want you there
um like wouldn't miss it for the world and he was like yeah I know like I just
want to drop off like your gift like my parents got you a gift and like that
sort of stuff that must have hit so hard just wait like I like it's worse this is
like the topping on the cake like I remember I walked back inside and since
I told my sister she's like playing the piano in our like room that's like that
we first walk into and she like looks over at me and she's like no way he
actually did and I'm just like sobbing I'm sitting on the chair next to her
crying and she's like I don't know what to do and then my parents were out they
were at this like baseball game and they come home and my mom's like she didn't
even see me crying yet she was like grace why didn't you go pick up Patrick I
was like I'm sorry I was in the middle of a breakup oh my god and she goes
wait it's all literally and she goes no way she's like why did you break up now
because my mom had no idea yeah and I was like Cape Cod and like school and she
literally I cannot make this up goes up to me and she goes it's okay Grace it's
hot girl summer now oh my god I mean you are like president Shay like we love her
and I was like I don't I laugh because I don't think she fully understands what
that means but it was literally like that made me like that changed my mood so
quickly and like all my siblings were there for me it was like it was like a
very great experience and yeah I just remember the next day of my graduation
party like I didn't tell most of my friends who were there yet because they're
all like oh where is he where is he yeah I'm like oh like he's coming story he's
coming but like we broke up yesterday and everyone all went like their mouths
dropped to the floor like no one was expecting it like it was insane and
the book he's okay I thought he'd be there maybe for like 30 minutes and bless
his heart really like I really appreciate that he still did come because like I
didn't have any like hard feelings towards him whatsoever yeah and I still
don't I like it just like obviously break up you're better than me break up
suck it's it's so completely understandable like and yeah it was just
like so awkward the whole time but he stayed he was like one of the last
people to leave no way and I was like oh I felt so bad because like he clearly
like didn't want to be like malicious or anything like it did suck and it's just
the story is funny because well I was not expecting any of what you told me it
was just shock after shock honestly what the fuck no but me the funniest story I
have like it's embarrassing for me because the first boyfriend I ever had
I'm not gonna name his name but you deserve to be burned in the deepest pits
of fucking hell oh my god what happened okay so first of all let me put this out
there he did not even ask me to be his girlfriend like in a good way like he was
like oh so you're my girl now like some shit and my dumb ass was like oh yeah
like tea okay so everything was going great honeymoon stage whatever my mom
hated him that should have been the first that's always a son my mom is always
right about everything shout out to you mom so she hated him and like she would
never let me see him ever so I used to like sneak around like I'm going to my
friend's house mind you I was going to his house okay so towards that he had
this girl best friend another red flag I really don't know red flag I really
don't know what went through my mind when I said yes to this man but anyways I was
really dumb and stupid and naive so yeah he had this girl best friend she did
not like me like whatsoever and she did not even pretend to like me not once
during this relationship so I remember distinctively remember this one night me
and him were FaceTiming and he was on like he was FaceTiming me on his phone
and I think it was his iPad or his laptop he was FaceTiming her so I can
hear their conversation yeah I can hear their conversation and apparently she
was quote-unquote drunk that night or whatever and I could hear her saying
the meanest things about me she's like oh you should be with me not with her
just goes on a tangent about how I'm not good for him right and did he defend
you no mind you I sir I can hear everything that's going on with you and
this bitch right now and so I looked past it I was like okay whatever like I was
being so stupid and naive so I didn't tell anyone about that because I was
embarrassed like I was like you could not tell anyone about this because you're
so stupid right now for staying with him anyways so I think it was right before
summer right before we left school for summer um he breaks up with me and I
was like okay whatever like your mom hot girl summer as fuck
right so I find out that he was cheating on me with this girl for four
months of the relationship oh this is not even the gag the gag is summer goes
by right and we're back in Haiti and I'm at a restaurant and I see them on a date
and I'm like like actually bitch I was actually gagged not even figuratively
literally gagged I almost threw up my yes so then I text all of my group chats
I'm like oh my god you'll never guess who I saw at this restaurant so-and-so
with this dumbass bitch and then they're like oh my god yeah like didn't you know
they're dating now like their boyfriend and girlfriend and they didn't tell you
and I was like what the hell like what like actually I was just so beyond words
like there were no words that could describe what I was feeling that day
because you're you were in a relationship with me telling me oh I love you
like you're the one for me blah blah and then not even two weeks after we break
up you're in another relationship apparently in love with this other girl
like what the hell I feel like just men really can't be honest no they really
they have like their brains if they have brains are not able to process anything
like comprehensively whatsoever and the worst part is so I'm I think this was
like a year or six months later right this is in the midst of COVID and I
already have another boyfriend by that time treated me super good that's the
only boyfriend I have nothing like yeah nothing bad to say about him nothing
against him so I'm in this happy relationship with this boy and blah
blah like everything's going so good I get a text from the girl best friend so
I'm like whoa what the hell like what is going on with my life right now I'm not
like I'm not dealing with this so I have swipe on snap and it's basically her
telling me hey melody like I feel like there's such bad blood between us blah
blah like I really want to know what you have against me like I don't know what I
did bitch are you see like be so for real right now and I'm trying to keep my
composure trying to keep it cute and classy and I'm like hey like I really
have nothing against you like I've moved on like everything's in the past you
like no but I feel like there's still some tension between us blah blah like
reaching no literally reaching trying to keep the conversation going and I'm
like listen homie like there is no tension between us like you did what you
did he did what he did let's just leave it at that I really don't want any
contact with either of you like please leave me alone just like okay like I
just really want to know how you're doing like if you're doing I was like what
leave me alone like I really don't have the capacity to talk to you right now
like I don't want to hear from you that is insane no that would actually like
make me live it no yeah I was I was so upset but then I was like okay but then
four months later like they had a four months long relationship and they
fucking broke up so I was like okay I guess I wasn't the problem karma's a
bitch like karma is a bitch like it will come back to bite you in the asshole
1000% oh yeah I think they're like low-key enemies now because I think his
cousins oh my god I can't say this because if they listen wait they're gonna
recognize themselves I really can't say anything so sorry I'll tell you I really
do because they will recognize Haiti is like this small people like if I say
something oh they will recognize them no yeah I held back some things in my
story because I'm like I don't want to pay him as like a villain because he
really wasn't but like I'm still like break up like another question like
how did you feel when you were broken up with like was it more of a sense of
relief or were you distraught now that I heard your story I feel like you were a
little bit distraught but I was distraught for like two days I got so
real serious like I thought that this breakup would destroy me I thought it
was the end of the world because honestly like he was my first like real
boyfriend like I had like situations before that but like which fucking suck
by the way let me say that right now that could be a whole different podcast but
he was my first like real boyfriend and so for like two days like honestly I'm
not even exaggerating I was extremely upset about it and but I had to like get
my shit together because literally the next day I woke up and I was like no way
that all happened last night like that's ridiculous I thought it was a
fever dream and I like but then I was like no like this is real and but then
like all my family's coming over today for my graduation party like the time
he was horrible yeah but I think what helped me get over it and honestly there
was that sense of relief was like I went to I went like over a hundred miles away
yeah the next day so like I just felt distanced and I had the space that I
needed to kind of like move on yeah which is something that I think was so
beneficial it's so essential to have that time to yourself and like reflect
and do some introspective work especially after like your first boyfriend like you
said like you really needed that I feel like me personally I relate to you with
that two-day thing because I feel like every time I've been broken up with I
cried for like the full like first day after like so mad so sad like depression
but then the next day I was like okay I guess that just happened like time to
move on like I don't know I feel like there's just nothing you can do at that
point like what can you do are you gonna stay sad for like three years all the
other person because mind you this boy is not thinking about what he did like he
he will not be giving you the time of day in his brain like at all so you just
have to do that work on your own honestly and it turns out being like for
the best at the end of the day I remember this is another ex-boyfriend oh
this one is the worst one honestly I'm not gonna give the story time basically
long story short he cheated on me it was a long distance thing I'm not gonna say
where he moved because he's gonna realize that I'm talking about him but he
moved like a long ways away and so we were trying long distance I was
convinced bitch I would you see those TikTok sounds that was like oh like he
needs me he looked bitch I was manifesting that shit I have so many
drafts because I was suspecting a lot I was like hmm why what are you doing in
this girl's room at three o'clock in the morning I was like no like she's just a
friend watching a movie fuck you like don't play hello my face right now no so
yeah cheated on me he broke up with me before I found out I found out like three
or four days later right oh the next day after he broke up with me I had a
Halloween party bitch I wore the tiniest black dress I could find as I literally
got so drunk with all of my best girlfriends it was a time of my life and
then the next day it was like nothing happened because at the end of the day
sorry twin like you're broke I'm up like literally what else can I say like like
so sorry you're the one who fumbled a bag not me exactly and that was honestly I
think like I'm sure we'll probably end up talking about this more but there's
always that intuition where it's like you always like have moved on before the
actual breakup yeah you know it's coming and that's something that I felt but like
I didn't want to admit and so which is why I think I did move on like so fast but
I just remember like where was I going with this I had like a train I had like a
really important point but I just think it's oh yeah so after we broke up he
kept on trying to reach out and oh trying to talk cuz like you know we're
friends yeah and I just remember being like girl like why do you keep on
texting me like stop like like what I everything I always do after something
like big happens in my life where it's like negative I like to like get a
haircut and I'll just cut off that energy which I honestly think is so real it
is like I cut off a good like five inches off my hair that theory is so real
it's so true something about your hair after something traumatic happens yes
like your brand new your whole I feel like a whole new person exact and I
remember like I posted on my story that I was like guys like I love how my hair
turned out because I'm so impulsive I was driving with my friend I was like
what if I just cut my hair right now and she's like there right now and I
remember he slid up and he was like I love it like it looks so nice and I was
like I literally like from 142 miles away gave him the biggest side-eye as
fuck yeah and I remember being like thanks but then he kept on trying to talk
to me and it was just like constantly and I just get it because like men don't
have the same intuition as women do so like he didn't really have like he was
still in that phase where it's like things don't really feel that different
from yet and he just kept on like reaching out and I was just like look I
understand I really do and I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt but
yeah I personally need my space exactly I need to go as a person and I'm not
gonna like keep like that like tied to me so like I didn't really engage that
much if any like I remember there was one point where I accidentally left him
like he like said something and I didn't answer for like four days and I felt
like so bad but also the same time I was like I don't owe him anything exactly you
have to come to realize that once especially if it's the person that broke
up with you exactly like you need to realize you do not owe them jack shit
exactly that realization and then once you do your life just like switches like
you start putting yourself first and that's when you have men crawling begging
exactly and the crazy thing is when you mentioned that like it's crazy how men
always double back circle back circle back to you you cannot oh my god the guy
who cheated on me in another country right he texted me I think it was in
August I think it was two days before move-in day right oh my god yeah so at
that point he was blocked so I don't know how he knew I was coming to Boston but
I still follow some of his family so maybe that's how right yeah so I received
because he was on my archive on a WhatsApp because us Haitians we love
what's that right so he was on my archive and I see a notification on my
archives and I'm like oh my god please don't let this be who I think it is and
it was yeah because I'm always right hello and so it was a text from him that
was like oh like hey I really hope you're gonna settle really good into your
new home for the next four years like I wish you nothing but the best blah blah
you deserve everything good and I was like yeah twin I know I never I just
left him on red because I was like that is so not worth my energy because I know
exactly I know you're gonna keep trying to like invoke conversation and I'm just
not gonna play into that because that's just your little mind game to be like oh
she wants me back so bad like yeah and he's gonna like take a screenshot oh yeah
oh look what she just texted me like men love to pretend like they don't like to
gossip oh my god there's such women they are such women bro I say this all the
time my friends I'm like they just want to be girls so bad me and my friend
yeah we always like you want to have a pussy so bad like you don't have one
please deal with it not on my turf though like leave us alone like anybody
else but me like leave me out of it thank you exactly another thing I think
this is one of the last things we're gonna talk about is getting your lick
back bitch after that breakup oh my can we talk about the glow that you get
after a breakup the best glow I got was after the cheater in another country oh
let me tell you bitch I dyed my hair pitch black I have highlights right dyed
my hair pitch black oh my god I was so hot like I sorry to sound narcissistic
I'm really not or anything but oh my god like I felt so good about myself my
confidence shot so high up like it was insane and it's still here so I've come
to realize that when you were the problem so sorry you need to figure some
things out on your own because I definitely wasn't the problem like the
glow I had after you left me is actually something that needs to be studied like
no really like honestly I see it in every single like woman that goes through
this like you just I think it's kind of like when you're finally like cut off
from those ties like just being in a relationship you finally like it kind of
gives you a sense of realization yeah who you can be and who you want to be and
so I think it's really just like letting go of all those like insecurities that
were holding you back and just like kind of growing to the person you want to
become exact like I remember for me like I don't think I mean I cut my hair but I
just remember like feeling so like free and just like because also it was the
summer like it was my last summer before going to college like I was just
enjoying it and I honestly I had such a fun summer was one of my favorite
summer and I just think about it I'm like I honestly would have been like
miserable just because long distance is so hard and it obviously like I'm not
saying anything against it because I'm yeah some people can make it work but I
am very fortunate for the way it turns out the thing oh my god I'm very fortunate
for the way that things turned out because like like I said like no like
true hard feelings like I just felt like like my own person and like going to
college fresh and like actually before I went to school if you remember I cut my
hair yeah and it was like almost a bob like it was so sure and the beginning of
the school year like my hair was probably like past like it was yeah it was
super long and honestly I just went to school feeling like a completely new
person which is such an amazing feeling I feel like because especially what when
we're at the age we are out when we get broken up with it's like our whole world
is shattered actually insane but we need to realize that this person was the
first of many breakups like this is not the last man that will ever like quote
unquote break our hearts and we just need to realize like we like we're such
bad bitches so sorry you guys like we just have to realize that once we do no
man will ever be able to hurt you like that first one did like I can say this
from experience like that one breakup with the girl best friend situation after
that I was really like untouchable bitch like every literally like I don't even
know how to explain it it's just a feeling you get I know all of the women
listening to this can attest to this fact honestly yeah like anybody who like
goes through this like and everyone does at one point in their life like younger
or older it still hurts just as much and you just realizing your self-worth and
just realizing like just because somebody broke up with you does not make you any
less of a person oh absolutely honestly like I always say I'm so thankful for the
experience and the feelings that I did feel because as much as they do fucking
suck because they do I am so thankful that I was able to feel those emotions
like sadness the anger like all of that it like made me grow so much and I
really don't think I would have gotten that like post breakup oh yeah without
those emotions because it really like it changes you it's character building it
is such character building yeah it's so important like you need to experience
those things to grow as a person so that's honestly my take on it yeah and
I'm like I don't know I'm just I honestly right now on another note I just love
being single right now and no shade or tea to anyone in a relationship you guys
are so cute and lovely I love you guys but I don't know I feel like right now
especially where I am at in my life like I'm working on so many different things
like this podcast for example and things for school and just to build up my my
resume and I just feel like if I did have a boyfriend not that he would hold me
back but that I wouldn't be able to put like my all into all of those things and
I'm just so grateful honestly maybe the right guy will come with due time I don't
know Emerson men you guys kind of scare me as of right now time to switch things
up like I said in the first episode tune in same shame the self promo but no
yeah maybe he will come and do time hoping and praying but I don't know as of
right now I'm lucky cool with the single life honestly what about you so I agree
with you and honestly like this is like the time to be single in my opinion like
this is the time to kind of like figure shit out about yourself and I do like
that and especially after being in a relationship very recently being single
has been like freeing and just kind of like nice to just like experience
especially in college I think for me it really depends on the day sometimes I'm
like you know what I love being single like this is so fun but then there's
also sometimes when I'm like I kind of miss that yeah I totally agree with you
like I feel you there's always that balance where it's like shit I really
wish I had someone to hold my hand in this cold-ass weather but then on the flip
side there's always those days where like oh my god I can literally go to this
rap party get drunk as fuck not worry exactly being on my ass all night you
know exactly it's just like the balance of everything it's just nice to have both
but like I like you were saying like this is like there's so many things we're
accomplishing right now exactly being like just only really being there for
yourself is something that's so important yeah and having that like self love
and self care and all of that contributes to the person that you become
and like you really can't be in a relationship you're not at that point
exactly like once you're like healed and like you're like you're like you know let's
settle down like I'm feeling like absolutely absolutely like do that but
also like being single is so nice at like a lot of the time just because like
it's just you and like that's really all like who you have to be there for you're
so right for that all right you guys that's all we have for you thank you so
so so much for tuning into today's episode of more of mel he broke I'm up
again it's your host Mel and I really hope you enjoy the topic of the day
breakups before during and after and I really want to give a shout out to G
motherfucking the first ever guest she did amazing and I can't wait to have you on
on another episode I would love to like thank you so much for having me today
I'm so excited when this goes up I know you have so many fans already you're just
gonna bring my my engagement up and I'm just so happy to have you here to have
been able to talk to you about this trauma dump etc it was such a fun time
genuinely yes anyways guys I love you all so much and tune in next time on more
of now