WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.339 Welcome back to Vision Pros Live. This is going 00:00:02.339 --> 00:00:05.099 to be a great session. I have Lila Tutton online. 00:00:05.360 --> 00:00:07.879 She's calling in from Petaluma, California, and 00:00:07.879 --> 00:00:10.099 we're going to hear all about her vision. Lila, 00:00:10.119 --> 00:00:12.099 welcome to the show. Would you please introduce 00:00:12.099 --> 00:00:17.739 yourself a little bit? Yeah. Hi. I am Lila Tutton. 00:00:18.120 --> 00:00:21.699 My business is called Lila Grace Coaching and 00:00:21.699 --> 00:00:26.600 Consulting. And I work one -on -one with entrepreneurs 00:00:26.600 --> 00:00:31.820 and executives in my coaching practice. And the 00:00:31.820 --> 00:00:35.740 work I do revolves around the narratives we inherit 00:00:35.740 --> 00:00:40.179 through social conditioning and familial conditioning, 00:00:40.619 --> 00:00:45.359 the self -limiting beliefs that turn into these 00:00:45.359 --> 00:00:47.679 stories that are on record loop in our heads. 00:00:51.039 --> 00:00:53.799 I work with people in liberating them from those 00:00:53.799 --> 00:00:58.320 narratives. And when we clear those blocks, people 00:00:58.320 --> 00:01:01.539 are able to really achieve the goals they have 00:01:01.539 --> 00:01:05.060 in front of them. Most of the work I do is in 00:01:05.060 --> 00:01:07.780 leadership coaching. And essentially, I think 00:01:07.780 --> 00:01:10.219 every single person is a leader. It's not just 00:01:10.219 --> 00:01:13.200 leaders who have that executive title, right? 00:01:13.359 --> 00:01:15.540 If you're an entrepreneur, you're a leader because 00:01:15.540 --> 00:01:17.379 you own your business and you have to take the 00:01:17.379 --> 00:01:20.569 lead and make decisions, right? You're a leader 00:01:20.569 --> 00:01:23.189 if you are a parent and you're in a family dynamic. 00:01:23.310 --> 00:01:25.329 You're a leader in your community in many ways. 00:01:25.450 --> 00:01:29.129 Leadership takes on lots of different flavors 00:01:29.129 --> 00:01:32.120 and forms. So that's the work I do one -on -one. 00:01:32.180 --> 00:01:36.439 And then I also do consulting and team facilitation 00:01:36.439 --> 00:01:39.000 for businesses. So I'll be brought into corporations, 00:01:39.659 --> 00:01:43.659 nonprofits, and I work with teams when they have 00:01:43.659 --> 00:01:46.859 HR challenges or if they have big goals they're 00:01:46.859 --> 00:01:49.019 trying to accomplish, I walk them through something 00:01:49.019 --> 00:01:51.560 very similar to what I just described. oh that's 00:01:51.560 --> 00:01:54.480 amazing that's fantastic well let's let's walk 00:01:54.480 --> 00:01:57.019 a little deeper we're going to go into this like 00:01:57.019 --> 00:01:59.680 tell me a little bit more about the your vision 00:01:59.680 --> 00:02:03.340 for the people that you're serving yeah the vision 00:02:03.340 --> 00:02:07.879 for the people i'm serving is i see that we are 00:02:07.879 --> 00:02:12.099 at a big inflection point in our world in our 00:02:12.099 --> 00:02:17.159 society right and um that inflection point is 00:02:17.159 --> 00:02:21.479 one i think that what's absolutely necessary 00:02:21.479 --> 00:02:25.979 for us to evolve really as humans as like all 00:02:25.979 --> 00:02:29.900 of humanity is to step fully into our leadership 00:02:29.900 --> 00:02:34.400 right so that means overcoming fear it means 00:02:34.400 --> 00:02:38.740 making bold bold decisions in your life and staying 00:02:38.740 --> 00:02:41.000 consistent with your behaviors and habits so 00:02:41.000 --> 00:02:45.780 that that bold action is transformed into into 00:02:45.780 --> 00:02:49.840 your routine The bold action becomes your lived 00:02:49.840 --> 00:02:54.439 everyday life, right? So if you look at people 00:02:54.439 --> 00:02:56.460 who are, you know, I kind of, the way I describe 00:02:56.460 --> 00:02:59.639 it, which I'm borrowing this from the conscious 00:02:59.639 --> 00:03:01.939 leadership group, but they talk about like being 00:03:01.939 --> 00:03:05.159 above the line or below the line. You're above 00:03:05.159 --> 00:03:07.639 the line. You're operating from love, from courage, 00:03:07.699 --> 00:03:11.280 from confidence, from, you know, inner security, 00:03:11.680 --> 00:03:15.680 a regulated nervous system. If you operate from 00:03:15.680 --> 00:03:18.400 below the line, it's from fear, it's anxiety, 00:03:18.780 --> 00:03:23.699 it's stress, it's control, right? And so looking 00:03:23.699 --> 00:03:26.259 at our world, you can see how many people are 00:03:26.259 --> 00:03:28.860 behaving and operating from below the line. Oh, 00:03:28.860 --> 00:03:31.520 for sure. So the work we do is to bring people, 00:03:31.560 --> 00:03:34.979 I bring people above the line and I help them 00:03:34.979 --> 00:03:36.900 make decisions from that place. The vision I 00:03:36.900 --> 00:03:40.240 have is for everybody to be able to operate from 00:03:40.240 --> 00:03:42.389 that place. Oh, that's beautiful. I think it 00:03:42.389 --> 00:03:44.310 sounds like something the world desperately needs. 00:03:44.449 --> 00:03:46.430 Tell me a little bit more about how you work 00:03:46.430 --> 00:03:48.610 with them to, you know, bring them. I love that 00:03:48.610 --> 00:03:52.009 visual. Like I can totally see this. Tell me 00:03:52.009 --> 00:03:54.870 a little bit more about how that happens shifting. 00:03:55.469 --> 00:04:00.310 Yeah. So the way it happens is actually. It's 00:04:00.310 --> 00:04:02.490 multifaceted. It's, you know, I shared with you, 00:04:02.509 --> 00:04:05.169 it's the stories we tell. And so it's literally 00:04:05.169 --> 00:04:08.150 rewriting those stories and practicing them again 00:04:08.150 --> 00:04:10.189 and again. It's a muscle you need to exercise. 00:04:11.150 --> 00:04:13.949 So, you know, most of the time people look in 00:04:13.949 --> 00:04:15.930 the mirror and the first thing that they think 00:04:15.930 --> 00:04:19.009 in their minds is negative. I'm too old. I'm 00:04:19.009 --> 00:04:22.029 too fat. I don't like this wrinkle, you know, 00:04:22.050 --> 00:04:26.449 whatever. Right. And that that takes up mental 00:04:26.449 --> 00:04:30.560 energy and space. Right. And you don't realize 00:04:30.560 --> 00:04:33.360 like people are doing this all the time. That 00:04:33.360 --> 00:04:35.819 same working metaphor of looking in the mirror 00:04:35.819 --> 00:04:37.800 and saying something negative to yourself within 00:04:37.800 --> 00:04:41.439 you're doing it. You know, there's something 00:04:41.439 --> 00:04:43.120 that you've been taught from your family about 00:04:43.120 --> 00:04:45.360 what you're supposed to do in terms of like how 00:04:45.360 --> 00:04:50.100 to be kind or how to please people. Right. And 00:04:50.100 --> 00:04:52.100 if you're not pleasing somebody and you feel 00:04:52.100 --> 00:04:53.740 that they might be disappointed in you, then 00:04:53.740 --> 00:04:55.540 you might beat yourself up and have a narrative 00:04:55.540 --> 00:04:58.259 about that. Like the list goes on and on. Right. 00:04:58.920 --> 00:05:02.660 So I'm really helping people dismantle those 00:05:02.660 --> 00:05:06.139 stories. We're getting incredibly precise and 00:05:06.139 --> 00:05:10.199 discerning in clarifying what are the stories 00:05:10.199 --> 00:05:12.319 that are being played in your mind over and over 00:05:12.319 --> 00:05:15.120 again. The other thing that we do is work on 00:05:15.120 --> 00:05:17.839 your nervous system staying regulated, right? 00:05:18.199 --> 00:05:22.800 So if you want to take a risk, let's say it's 00:05:22.800 --> 00:05:24.939 leaving your job to build something on your own, 00:05:25.000 --> 00:05:29.759 right? Or it's... Asking for a promotion if you 00:05:29.759 --> 00:05:34.480 are working within an organization. Or let's 00:05:34.480 --> 00:05:36.740 say it's taking a risk and moving to a new place 00:05:36.740 --> 00:05:38.980 you've been really feeling drawn to, even though 00:05:38.980 --> 00:05:41.420 everyone in your family is telling you not to 00:05:41.420 --> 00:05:44.240 do it, right? Or everyone in your community thinks 00:05:44.240 --> 00:05:48.300 it's a bad idea. You can't take a risk if your 00:05:48.300 --> 00:05:51.160 nervous system is dysregulated and you feel unsafe. 00:05:51.579 --> 00:05:56.069 Like, it's very difficult to do that. it's learning 00:05:56.069 --> 00:06:00.149 how to get regulated it's learning how to self 00:06:00.149 --> 00:06:03.550 -soothe and then be able to take that risk from 00:06:03.550 --> 00:06:05.829 that place where it'll be much more sustainable 00:06:05.829 --> 00:06:09.470 that's incredible if people don't have like a 00:06:09.470 --> 00:06:12.149 way to self -soothe to um you know to regulate 00:06:12.149 --> 00:06:15.649 their nervous system what do they turn like what 00:06:15.649 --> 00:06:18.370 substitutes do they end up you know if they're 00:06:18.370 --> 00:06:21.569 still going to take the risk but now this unregulated 00:06:21.569 --> 00:06:23.730 nervous system what does that end up looking 00:06:23.730 --> 00:06:26.490 like I mean, I think we see it all over the world 00:06:26.490 --> 00:06:30.870 right now. Like, I think that it looks like, 00:06:30.870 --> 00:06:35.709 you know, being aggressive and confrontational 00:06:35.709 --> 00:06:39.769 because when you, there's, there are like different 00:06:39.769 --> 00:06:41.709 zones, right? You can be in your comfort zone, 00:06:41.910 --> 00:06:43.709 you can be in your stretch zone, and you can 00:06:43.709 --> 00:06:47.410 be in your panic zone. And your stretch zone 00:06:47.410 --> 00:06:49.709 is where you want to be because your comfort 00:06:49.709 --> 00:06:51.410 zone is where you can get complacent, right? 00:06:51.649 --> 00:06:53.660 So you don't want to be there all the time. Your 00:06:53.660 --> 00:06:55.639 stretch zone is when you're taking healthy risks. 00:06:56.600 --> 00:06:59.120 You need to feel regulated enough to do that. 00:06:59.860 --> 00:07:02.620 Your panic zone is when you're taking risks and 00:07:02.620 --> 00:07:04.600 you're not regulated, right? So you're feeling 00:07:04.600 --> 00:07:08.220 that fight or flight. You're in freeze. You can 00:07:08.220 --> 00:07:10.040 be also in fawn, which is the people pleasing. 00:07:10.480 --> 00:07:14.399 And those, we can see it all over the world. 00:07:14.500 --> 00:07:17.399 Like you can see people every day when you go 00:07:17.399 --> 00:07:19.519 to the grocery store, right? And you see somebody 00:07:19.519 --> 00:07:21.620 who gets really upset because the line is so 00:07:21.620 --> 00:07:23.639 long. And all of a sudden they're frustrated 00:07:23.639 --> 00:07:26.540 and you're watching them, you know, like pulling 00:07:26.540 --> 00:07:28.480 at their shirt or getting their phone out or 00:07:28.480 --> 00:07:31.420 like huffing, making noises, maybe making a comment 00:07:31.420 --> 00:07:33.519 under their breath. That is that is below the 00:07:33.519 --> 00:07:38.879 line. We see it in the news. We see it in political 00:07:38.879 --> 00:07:41.579 situations. We see it in cultural situations. 00:07:41.660 --> 00:07:44.779 We see I mean, it's just, you know, it's really 00:07:44.779 --> 00:07:48.329 quite rampant, actually. Right. And so, you know, 00:07:48.370 --> 00:07:50.310 I'm giving the example of the grocery store and 00:07:50.310 --> 00:07:52.149 that might not be a risk that somebody's taking. 00:07:52.230 --> 00:07:54.230 That's just an everyday experience. But in terms 00:07:54.230 --> 00:07:58.050 of risks, if somebody were to make a big move 00:07:58.050 --> 00:08:01.389 in their lives from that place, they end up, 00:08:01.410 --> 00:08:04.750 they might trudge ahead and still do it. But 00:08:04.750 --> 00:08:07.350 something deep down is still misaligned and not 00:08:07.350 --> 00:08:10.629 feeling good. Right. And again, it'll show up 00:08:10.629 --> 00:08:14.209 in the grocery store. It'll show up in conversation 00:08:14.209 --> 00:08:17.300 with someone. It's like. You might just get bits 00:08:17.300 --> 00:08:19.220 and pieces of it, but that means something deep 00:08:19.220 --> 00:08:23.279 down is misaligned. Yeah. Yeah. We leak, right? 00:08:23.399 --> 00:08:25.699 We're constantly leaking what's going on in our 00:08:25.699 --> 00:08:30.300 brains. Yes. Very well put. Yes. Amazing. That's 00:08:30.300 --> 00:08:34.159 so fascinating. Let's turn this now to what's 00:08:34.159 --> 00:08:35.960 your vision for your business? How do you want 00:08:35.960 --> 00:08:39.220 this to go in the long term, I guess? Yeah. What's 00:08:39.220 --> 00:08:43.870 my vision for my business? My vision is that 00:08:43.870 --> 00:08:47.169 I would eventually like to write a book about 00:08:47.169 --> 00:08:52.529 the very things we're talking about. And I also 00:08:52.529 --> 00:08:56.309 see a world where I love the people I'm working 00:08:56.309 --> 00:08:58.149 with, and I definitely want to continue that. 00:08:58.269 --> 00:09:01.830 I get very excited about working with leaders 00:09:01.830 --> 00:09:06.159 from different... industries and in in just like 00:09:06.159 --> 00:09:08.820 more unique situations that's my that's what 00:09:08.820 --> 00:09:11.299 really lights me up so you know what i imagine 00:09:11.299 --> 00:09:14.679 three to five to ten years from now i'm working 00:09:14.679 --> 00:09:17.220 with people who are just on the cutting edge 00:09:17.220 --> 00:09:24.539 of um advancement and change right like i love 00:09:24.539 --> 00:09:27.539 working with people who are thinking about the 00:09:27.539 --> 00:09:31.659 environment or working with people who You know, 00:09:31.679 --> 00:09:35.000 I have a client who is doing like deep tech work, 00:09:35.200 --> 00:09:38.860 working with sort of like in the world of Elon 00:09:38.860 --> 00:09:42.940 Musk and doing work with space AI and things 00:09:42.940 --> 00:09:45.000 like that. And I just find that so fascinating. 00:09:45.080 --> 00:09:48.279 So the vision for my business and my practice 00:09:48.279 --> 00:09:51.919 is that I'm working with people and, you know, 00:09:51.919 --> 00:09:55.019 it's just consistently advancing because my aim 00:09:55.019 --> 00:09:57.980 is that I'm working with those people who are 00:09:57.980 --> 00:10:01.080 at the cutting edge of change and risk. And I'm 00:10:01.080 --> 00:10:04.419 helping them continue to stay regulated or cultivate 00:10:04.419 --> 00:10:07.379 that regulation. So they are the leaders who 00:10:07.379 --> 00:10:10.320 are changing our world from that place of equanimity. 00:10:11.220 --> 00:10:14.059 And then writing a book about that, you know, 00:10:14.059 --> 00:10:18.019 I'd love to do a TEDx talk someday about that. 00:10:18.080 --> 00:10:21.179 Like that's a little bit more visibility in a 00:10:21.179 --> 00:10:23.840 public way so that I can get this message out 00:10:23.840 --> 00:10:26.460 to the world. Oh, that's incredible. And I can 00:10:26.460 --> 00:10:29.350 see we're working with this type of leader. the 00:10:29.350 --> 00:10:32.490 ripple effect the leverage you know your impact 00:10:32.490 --> 00:10:35.110 through them you know people may never know your 00:10:35.110 --> 00:10:36.809 name but if you're working with people of that 00:10:36.809 --> 00:10:40.230 caliber and that pro you know high profile exactly 00:10:40.230 --> 00:10:43.669 that's really really cool that's i like yeah 00:10:43.669 --> 00:10:47.590 that's it and i i don't i have no interest in 00:10:47.590 --> 00:10:49.570 being famous or being a celebrity that's like 00:10:49.570 --> 00:10:54.629 absolutely not my path but i i really love working 00:10:54.629 --> 00:10:57.250 with people who do have a lot of visibility and 00:10:57.250 --> 00:11:01.049 i feel I feel like I'm here on this planet to 00:11:01.049 --> 00:11:05.190 sort of be their secret muse. So that's my zone 00:11:05.190 --> 00:11:07.850 of genius is being able to support someone and 00:11:07.850 --> 00:11:10.250 light them up so that they can be highly visible. 00:11:10.750 --> 00:11:13.789 And, you know, and then my message is visible. 00:11:13.929 --> 00:11:16.610 Like, I care very much about that, that the message 00:11:16.610 --> 00:11:19.169 that I'm a part of, which is not just mine, it's, 00:11:19.169 --> 00:11:21.190 you know, I'm pulling from lots of different 00:11:21.190 --> 00:11:24.470 influences. And this is something lots of people 00:11:24.470 --> 00:11:26.429 are talking about, but I want to do what I can 00:11:26.429 --> 00:11:28.700 to contribute to it. oh i think that's beautiful 00:11:28.700 --> 00:11:32.740 what a fantastic contribution to you know humanity 00:11:32.740 --> 00:11:34.840 basically because when you're working with those 00:11:34.840 --> 00:11:36.820 people you know even the people that you're working 00:11:36.820 --> 00:11:40.460 with now have impact on a lot of people and as 00:11:40.460 --> 00:11:44.220 that continues to multiply that's yeah i love 00:11:44.220 --> 00:11:46.580 that that is really cool thank you for sharing 00:11:46.580 --> 00:11:50.129 that that's really really neat thank you Thank 00:11:50.129 --> 00:11:52.129 you for being here today. I'm really happy that 00:11:52.129 --> 00:11:54.149 you tuned in to Vision Pros Live. I'm looking 00:11:54.149 --> 00:11:57.409 forward to seeing your reactions as these episodes 00:11:57.409 --> 00:11:59.210 continue to move forward. This is going to get 00:11:59.210 --> 00:12:01.850 more and more fun. We'll have more and more engagement 00:12:01.850 --> 00:12:03.909 as well. We'll invite people to participate in 00:12:03.909 --> 00:12:06.090 the show. And thank you for giving us your time 00:12:06.090 --> 00:12:08.370 and attention. Have an excellent time building 00:12:08.370 --> 00:12:10.710 out your vision and becoming a vision pro yourself.