WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.560 Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode 00:00:01.560 --> 00:00:03.680 of Vision Pros Live. I'm your host and coach, 00:00:03.839 --> 00:00:06.139 Fletcher Ellingson. I'm so glad you're here. 00:00:06.219 --> 00:00:08.580 I'm so glad that you're in this conversation. 00:00:08.800 --> 00:00:13.419 Why? Because in these podcasts, we get to meet 00:00:13.419 --> 00:00:15.859 people from all over the world who are doing 00:00:15.859 --> 00:00:19.460 inspiring things, who are doing motivating things, 00:00:19.559 --> 00:00:22.260 who are going for their vision, who are making 00:00:22.260 --> 00:00:26.219 a difference. You may be in the same industry 00:00:26.219 --> 00:00:28.980 that they're in. And what I love about the people 00:00:28.980 --> 00:00:31.859 that we interview is they're showing what's possible. 00:00:32.020 --> 00:00:36.719 They're making it easier for us to bring our 00:00:36.719 --> 00:00:39.039 vision into the world because they're clearing 00:00:39.039 --> 00:00:42.740 a path and they're sharing their expertise, their 00:00:42.740 --> 00:00:45.740 wisdom, their mistakes they've made. They're 00:00:45.740 --> 00:00:50.179 sharing all their insights so that we can do 00:00:50.179 --> 00:00:53.719 it also. hopefully it'll be even a little easier 00:00:53.719 --> 00:00:56.659 with their wisdom. Today on the show, we're meeting 00:00:56.659 --> 00:01:02.219 with Amy Friesen and she is up in Canada, I believe. 00:01:02.399 --> 00:01:06.620 Yes. Yes. And she is from the organization called 00:01:06.620 --> 00:01:09.439 Tea and Toast. You can visit her online at amyfriesen 00:01:09.439 --> 00:01:12.480 .com. Welcome to the show. Thanks very much for 00:01:12.480 --> 00:01:16.159 having me. I'm excited to chat. Yeah. So this 00:01:16.159 --> 00:01:18.480 is a new industry for me. I haven't met anybody 00:01:18.480 --> 00:01:22.099 in this industry that I've interviewed. So I'm 00:01:22.099 --> 00:01:25.540 going to be asking some real elementary questions 00:01:25.540 --> 00:01:28.040 that will likely be a good thing, because I think 00:01:28.040 --> 00:01:30.159 there's probably a lot of people who are not 00:01:30.159 --> 00:01:32.739 familiar with the industry that you're in, which 00:01:32.739 --> 00:01:35.530 is elder care. Is that accurate? That's it. There's 00:01:35.530 --> 00:01:37.569 a lot of people that know nothing about me. So 00:01:37.569 --> 00:01:41.310 let's inform them. Okay, let's do it. But before 00:01:41.310 --> 00:01:43.030 we get to that, I always like to start off with 00:01:43.030 --> 00:01:45.689 a win. I want to ask you what's going well in 00:01:45.689 --> 00:01:48.629 your life personally and or professionally. But 00:01:48.629 --> 00:01:50.549 there's a lot of suffering and uncertainty in 00:01:50.549 --> 00:01:54.209 the world right now. And I'd like to remind people 00:01:54.209 --> 00:01:59.489 that what's going well is always available. What's 00:01:59.489 --> 00:02:01.269 not going well is always available. It's a matter 00:02:01.269 --> 00:02:04.180 of where we... put our focus. It's a practice 00:02:04.180 --> 00:02:06.519 of putting our focus on what's going well. So 00:02:06.519 --> 00:02:09.939 what is going well for you, Amy? I would tell 00:02:09.939 --> 00:02:12.039 you that I'm fortunate and there's lots of things 00:02:12.039 --> 00:02:14.479 going well. One of the things that really is 00:02:14.479 --> 00:02:18.400 going well for myself and my team for TNTOS is 00:02:18.400 --> 00:02:21.520 that, you know, we are really jiving as a team. 00:02:21.580 --> 00:02:25.050 It's incredible to work with. We're all women, 00:02:25.110 --> 00:02:28.330 a group of women who communicate as well, who 00:02:28.330 --> 00:02:31.349 really just enjoy each other, both professionally 00:02:31.349 --> 00:02:34.830 and in friendship. And when I created Tea and 00:02:34.830 --> 00:02:36.969 Toast, that's what I was aiming for, really. 00:02:37.069 --> 00:02:39.229 That's what I wanted. It's a tough industry out 00:02:39.229 --> 00:02:42.449 there. And so I just wanted to cocoon a couple 00:02:42.449 --> 00:02:44.569 of people and do a really good job for people. 00:02:44.729 --> 00:02:47.449 And that's been really wonderful lately. Right 00:02:47.449 --> 00:02:51.389 on. So you so you have you realized the outcome 00:02:51.389 --> 00:02:54.569 that you set out to create. It sounds like. Yeah. 00:02:54.889 --> 00:02:59.150 Yeah. That's been great. Yeah. So and I and I 00:02:59.150 --> 00:03:05.629 just realized this phrase tea and toast. I thought 00:03:05.629 --> 00:03:08.090 when we said it just now, it sounded like tea 00:03:08.090 --> 00:03:10.830 and toes. But I wanted to clarify for our listeners, 00:03:10.990 --> 00:03:14.930 it's tea. and toast you know it's a very canadian 00:03:14.930 --> 00:03:20.330 british thing right uh tea and toast um and and 00:03:20.330 --> 00:03:22.870 that's a big hit in our household as well uh 00:03:22.870 --> 00:03:25.889 so but what before we get to your vision tell 00:03:25.889 --> 00:03:28.009 me how you came up with that name tea and toast 00:03:28.009 --> 00:03:31.449 i would tell you naming a business is not for 00:03:31.449 --> 00:03:35.689 the faint at heart it's incredibly process um 00:03:35.689 --> 00:03:39.270 but to your point tea and toast is a double meaning 00:03:39.270 --> 00:03:43.889 right so either people are really warm and cuddly 00:03:43.889 --> 00:03:46.330 because of TNTOS. It gives them really good feelings. 00:03:47.250 --> 00:03:49.810 However, for the people that are maybe eating 00:03:49.810 --> 00:03:52.189 that for more than one or two meals a day and 00:03:52.189 --> 00:03:55.710 consistently, it's a nutrition issue. So if you're 00:03:55.710 --> 00:03:57.729 an adult child and you're seeing that, it's a 00:03:57.729 --> 00:04:01.050 red flag. But if you're the senior that's doing 00:04:01.050 --> 00:04:03.250 it, it's still a little bit of a comfy, cozy 00:04:03.250 --> 00:04:05.750 name, a little bit of an opener for us, really. 00:04:06.150 --> 00:04:09.250 Got it. Yeah, yeah. There's some level of relatability 00:04:09.250 --> 00:04:11.969 in that for a lot of people, right? Yeah, I didn't 00:04:11.969 --> 00:04:14.669 expect so, but I expected that the relatability 00:04:14.669 --> 00:04:16.610 was there. But what I didn't expect is there's 00:04:16.610 --> 00:04:19.269 a lot of people that literally say, we chose 00:04:19.269 --> 00:04:22.009 you because of your name, which is just the best 00:04:22.009 --> 00:04:24.589 thing for me. Yeah, it's great. Wow. Well, that's 00:04:24.589 --> 00:04:26.629 neat. That's always good feedback to get. Cool. 00:04:27.170 --> 00:04:30.930 So tea and toast. And we know that you're in 00:04:30.930 --> 00:04:33.889 the elder care industry, but what I want to know, 00:04:33.949 --> 00:04:36.189 and this show is called Vision Pro, so we're 00:04:36.189 --> 00:04:39.089 always curious. What are people's visions? So 00:04:39.089 --> 00:04:43.430 I'm asking you, Amy, what is your vision? Well, 00:04:43.589 --> 00:04:46.810 my vision is quite large for an industry that's 00:04:46.810 --> 00:04:49.310 in its infancy, right? So we are a brand new 00:04:49.310 --> 00:04:52.050 industry in elder care and elder care planning. 00:04:52.290 --> 00:04:56.449 And so my vision is to bring education and information 00:04:56.449 --> 00:05:01.170 and direction to families across Canada, across 00:05:01.170 --> 00:05:03.449 the world, really. I mean, we work across the 00:05:03.449 --> 00:05:11.040 world. all of us the lucky ones anyway that we're 00:05:11.040 --> 00:05:13.939 going to be living through to elder care and 00:05:13.939 --> 00:05:17.139 we all need to do all the stuff like planning 00:05:17.139 --> 00:05:20.519 and figuring out all of these pieces and everybody's 00:05:20.519 --> 00:05:23.180 scared of it it's kind of like talking to a funeral 00:05:23.180 --> 00:05:25.339 director right everybody's like no i don't want 00:05:25.339 --> 00:05:28.279 to die and so we're not talking about death but 00:05:28.279 --> 00:05:30.139 we're talking about like let's plan let's make 00:05:30.139 --> 00:05:32.759 it work for you in the way you want to work it. 00:05:32.800 --> 00:05:35.959 And the number one barrier there is like, let's 00:05:35.959 --> 00:05:39.199 educate, let's take down those walls and open 00:05:39.199 --> 00:05:43.579 the lines of communication. Yeah, so good. And 00:05:43.579 --> 00:05:45.959 I want to highlight something you said, it can 00:05:45.959 --> 00:05:54.019 be an uncomfortable and kind of scary topic. 00:05:54.519 --> 00:05:57.100 It's terrifying for people, right? I mean, because 00:05:57.100 --> 00:06:00.290 we're talking about Because it's a conversation 00:06:00.290 --> 00:06:05.230 that forces us to talk about the fact that you're 00:06:05.230 --> 00:06:10.509 kind of on your last chapter here, that there 00:06:10.509 --> 00:06:13.069 is an end to this game. I mean, when we're in 00:06:13.069 --> 00:06:16.069 our 20s, 30s, and even 40s, we're like, oh, yeah, 00:06:16.110 --> 00:06:20.050 I'm going. I think I'm probably going to elude 00:06:20.050 --> 00:06:24.870 death. But then we get closer and closer and 00:06:24.870 --> 00:06:28.079 realize, oh. We're not. And things start happening 00:06:28.079 --> 00:06:31.259 with the body that we weren't planning on. Things 00:06:31.259 --> 00:06:35.019 start happening with our memory. So it can be 00:06:35.019 --> 00:06:38.000 a frightening, disappointing and frankly upsetting 00:06:38.000 --> 00:06:41.680 conversation. But what I liked about what you 00:06:41.680 --> 00:06:44.259 said on your website is like you are the person 00:06:44.259 --> 00:06:47.540 that's willing to have those conversations. I 00:06:47.540 --> 00:06:49.920 have awkward upsetting conversations all day 00:06:49.920 --> 00:06:53.180 long right it's I mean that's what we do we bring 00:06:53.180 --> 00:06:56.459 light we shine lights into the dark places and 00:06:56.459 --> 00:07:00.439 not for dark reasons really because we want to 00:07:00.439 --> 00:07:04.910 give people choice and so when people are aging 00:07:04.910 --> 00:07:07.209 and they've got all these things that pile up 00:07:07.209 --> 00:07:09.550 right needing wills and powers of attorney and 00:07:09.550 --> 00:07:12.050 where do i live and what care do i need you know 00:07:12.050 --> 00:07:13.810 a lot of people like to stick their head in the 00:07:13.810 --> 00:07:16.110 sand because it's scary and it's daunting and 00:07:16.110 --> 00:07:19.009 it's just overwhelming but those people unfortunately 00:07:19.009 --> 00:07:21.189 are the ones that are not making a plan and then 00:07:21.189 --> 00:07:23.389 they don't actually get what they want and so 00:07:24.149 --> 00:07:28.750 Really, by educating people in this space, that's 00:07:28.750 --> 00:07:30.930 the same reason I put my book out as well, is 00:07:30.930 --> 00:07:33.810 that I just want to get education to people where 00:07:33.810 --> 00:07:37.250 they're at to start those, you know, what can 00:07:37.250 --> 00:07:39.769 be really awkward conversations so that people 00:07:39.769 --> 00:07:43.689 have choice. Oh, yeah. OK, so again, I'm going 00:07:43.689 --> 00:07:46.149 to I got to recap what you said. I really want 00:07:46.149 --> 00:07:49.129 our listeners to hear this. OK, so number one, 00:07:49.129 --> 00:07:52.810 and I love the descriptor you use. This is accurate. 00:07:53.769 --> 00:07:56.730 Because I said sad or disappointing or fearful, 00:07:56.889 --> 00:08:00.389 which it can be those things. But the descriptor 00:08:00.389 --> 00:08:03.629 you use, the adjective you use, much more appropriate. 00:08:03.730 --> 00:08:07.589 This is an awkward conversation. I'm used to 00:08:07.589 --> 00:08:10.589 having all kinds of conversations in my day -to 00:08:10.589 --> 00:08:13.050 -day life. I'm very practiced at talking about 00:08:13.050 --> 00:08:15.029 what we're having for dinner or where we're going 00:08:15.029 --> 00:08:22.050 or work. Ooh, to talk about this, it might be 00:08:22.050 --> 00:08:25.300 a really clumsy. an awkward conversation. I may 00:08:25.300 --> 00:08:28.000 not have the language. I may not have thought 00:08:28.000 --> 00:08:32.220 through. And I may not articulate myself well. 00:08:32.980 --> 00:08:37.419 So yeah, awkward. That totally is a fitting descriptor. 00:08:37.539 --> 00:08:39.940 And then you said something that I really want 00:08:39.940 --> 00:08:44.820 our listeners to hear as well. You said, we tend 00:08:44.820 --> 00:08:48.039 to stick our head in the sand. And instead of 00:08:48.039 --> 00:08:52.279 talking about it, we avoid it. And then we don't 00:08:52.279 --> 00:08:57.799 get what we want. This should be a motivator 00:08:57.799 --> 00:09:02.279 for people who are really needing to think about 00:09:02.279 --> 00:09:05.980 this. Do you want to get to that place? Do you 00:09:05.980 --> 00:09:08.820 want to arrive at that place? And suddenly you're 00:09:08.820 --> 00:09:14.340 like, geez, this is not what I wanted. This doesn't 00:09:14.340 --> 00:09:18.899 feel good. It's not what I envisioned. So what 00:09:18.899 --> 00:09:21.919 I'm hearing you saying is this. now is the time 00:09:21.919 --> 00:09:24.179 to like really become proactive and have these 00:09:24.179 --> 00:09:27.600 awkward conversations yeah most of the time the 00:09:27.600 --> 00:09:31.059 people that I call my ostriches when I say you 00:09:31.059 --> 00:09:32.919 know what's your plan you know and I'm starting 00:09:32.919 --> 00:09:35.220 to kind of broach that a little bit their plan 00:09:35.220 --> 00:09:39.600 is to and quote unquote go out feet first and 00:09:39.600 --> 00:09:43.639 so I say you know That is a plan, but there's 00:09:43.639 --> 00:09:45.419 so many things like right before that, right? 00:09:45.480 --> 00:09:47.679 There's all this trajectory that people aren't 00:09:47.679 --> 00:09:51.820 planning for that will change that plan. Unless 00:09:51.820 --> 00:09:53.559 you're one of the lucky ones and it just goes 00:09:53.559 --> 00:09:57.019 like that and you're done for, right? There is 00:09:57.019 --> 00:10:00.019 going to be other things that... are going to 00:10:00.019 --> 00:10:03.299 take place. And because you didn't plan, you 00:10:03.299 --> 00:10:05.840 will have less and less choice. But to be honest, 00:10:06.059 --> 00:10:08.960 all of our healthcare system, a lot of our systems 00:10:08.960 --> 00:10:12.320 in general are very reactive, not proactive. 00:10:12.679 --> 00:10:14.879 And so elder care planning is all about being 00:10:14.879 --> 00:10:17.840 proactive. So you have choices. So you set up 00:10:17.840 --> 00:10:19.980 properly because there's a lot of stuff to deal 00:10:19.980 --> 00:10:23.299 with. Yeah, there really is. There's a lot of 00:10:23.299 --> 00:10:28.539 it. My mom passed in end of 2017. Yes, there 00:10:28.539 --> 00:10:32.500 was a lot. to take care of before and after my 00:10:32.500 --> 00:10:38.720 stepdad is also he and I he's 87 or 88 he and 00:10:38.720 --> 00:10:44.519 I talk fairly regularly about you know wills 00:10:44.519 --> 00:10:49.100 power of attorney health care about his options 00:10:49.100 --> 00:10:52.360 and plans so we have you know where's where's 00:10:52.360 --> 00:10:54.200 the will where's the key to the safety deposit 00:10:54.200 --> 00:10:56.220 box I mean we're like we have a lot of these 00:10:56.220 --> 00:11:00.309 things and like yeah and and worst case scenarios 00:11:00.309 --> 00:11:03.169 like how you know do not resuscitate things like 00:11:03.169 --> 00:11:06.830 that um so yeah so i i really appreciate what 00:11:06.830 --> 00:11:10.929 you're saying um i would tell you though just 00:11:10.929 --> 00:11:13.950 so i mean for what it's worth you're one of the 00:11:13.950 --> 00:11:17.730 very few and like kudos because that's not how 00:11:17.730 --> 00:11:21.450 like all the families like there's not a lot 00:11:21.450 --> 00:11:24.210 of families that are as proactive as that and 00:11:24.210 --> 00:11:26.870 it's going to make a difference it's going to 00:11:26.870 --> 00:11:30.230 make a difference in his and your life yeah thanks 00:11:30.230 --> 00:11:33.389 for saying that yeah um and i will say that some 00:11:33.389 --> 00:11:35.370 of these com lots of these conversations have 00:11:35.370 --> 00:11:38.590 been awkward they're kind of sucky yeah yeah 00:11:38.590 --> 00:11:42.210 it's not you know yeah it's not yeah they're 00:11:42.210 --> 00:11:44.570 not they're not the funnest conversation but 00:11:44.570 --> 00:11:47.649 i am glad that we've had them because i do want 00:11:47.649 --> 00:11:50.490 a plan of action i do want like oh this happened 00:11:50.490 --> 00:11:54.809 so i look at our plan like oh and So I go to 00:11:54.809 --> 00:12:02.129 this plan of execution. Yeah. If people want 00:12:02.129 --> 00:12:04.730 to connect with you, if they're like, geez, you 00:12:04.730 --> 00:12:07.950 know what? I really need to start looking at 00:12:07.950 --> 00:12:10.090 this stuff. Tell me a little bit about the process. 00:12:10.210 --> 00:12:12.049 First of all, tell us where we go to connect 00:12:12.049 --> 00:12:14.750 with you. And what can a person expect when they 00:12:14.750 --> 00:12:17.090 make that phone call or send that email to you? 00:12:17.679 --> 00:12:21.139 Sure. Yeah. So you can connect with me at amyfriesen 00:12:21.139 --> 00:12:24.679 .com. And then on there are connections to everywhere 00:12:24.679 --> 00:12:27.840 else. So if someone was local, I'm in Ottawa 00:12:27.840 --> 00:12:30.039 and Ontario. If someone was local, then they 00:12:30.039 --> 00:12:32.000 would go to the Tea and Toast Connection. Or 00:12:32.000 --> 00:12:33.860 if they're national, they would go to the Eldercare 00:12:33.860 --> 00:12:36.940 Planners of Canada. So that's the hub. Everything 00:12:36.940 --> 00:12:40.240 is there. And really what we want to do when 00:12:40.240 --> 00:12:42.299 we connect with people is we want to know more. 00:12:42.399 --> 00:12:46.460 We want to learn about what is happening. now 00:12:46.460 --> 00:12:49.179 the time that they're calling you know what are 00:12:49.179 --> 00:12:52.279 their hopes what do they want to see in the future 00:12:52.279 --> 00:12:55.080 how much do they want to plan all of this type 00:12:55.080 --> 00:12:59.860 of stuff to really get a baseline of who who 00:12:59.860 --> 00:13:02.399 that person is who else needs to be involved 00:13:02.399 --> 00:13:06.279 and then start to pick away at which pieces are 00:13:06.279 --> 00:13:09.019 more important or pertinent right there's often 00:13:09.019 --> 00:13:11.379 an order of things when someone says this is 00:13:11.379 --> 00:13:13.860 all the stuff i'm dealing with or this is all 00:13:13.860 --> 00:13:16.799 the stuff that i think is upcoming Then as an 00:13:16.799 --> 00:13:18.620 elder care planner, we can say, OK, this one 00:13:18.620 --> 00:13:20.600 really needs some attention right now. Let's 00:13:20.600 --> 00:13:23.100 start there and then we'll work out from there. 00:13:24.019 --> 00:13:26.580 And so it can be for anything. It can be for 00:13:26.580 --> 00:13:30.320 planning. It can be for knowing their options 00:13:30.320 --> 00:13:33.059 of retirement, living and long term care, how 00:13:33.059 --> 00:13:35.720 to stay safe at home. So many different things. 00:13:36.779 --> 00:13:39.159 But, you know, the courage really does come in 00:13:39.159 --> 00:13:40.899 just picking up the phone or writing the email 00:13:40.899 --> 00:13:43.809 because. a lot of people, to our point earlier, 00:13:43.970 --> 00:13:48.690 aren't even that far. Yeah. I got another question 00:13:48.690 --> 00:13:51.889 for you. Let's say somebody is listening to this 00:13:51.889 --> 00:13:56.570 right now and they're thinking, gosh, this is 00:13:56.570 --> 00:14:03.389 important. But at what age do I initiate this 00:14:03.389 --> 00:14:07.269 phone call? When is the appropriate time to call 00:14:07.269 --> 00:14:12.149 Amy and start getting curious? I would tell you 00:14:12.149 --> 00:14:16.330 that, you know, we work with seniors at the moment, 00:14:16.350 --> 00:14:18.629 like 80 plus. Right. And so we're working with 00:14:18.629 --> 00:14:21.649 their adult children and those adult children, 00:14:21.690 --> 00:14:24.590 as we're making plans for their loved one, are 00:14:24.590 --> 00:14:28.490 making plans for themselves. And so I would say, 00:14:28.529 --> 00:14:31.669 you know, I'm in my 40s. I have wills, POAs, 00:14:31.789 --> 00:14:33.769 all sorts of things in line. Right. Which are 00:14:33.769 --> 00:14:35.769 all the kind of the bare minimum stuff that we 00:14:35.769 --> 00:14:38.779 should all kind of be working towards. And so 00:14:38.779 --> 00:14:41.340 a conversation is never too early. It's just 00:14:41.340 --> 00:14:43.620 what you work on at that point, right? You can 00:14:43.620 --> 00:14:46.759 still make a plan to your point, you know, if 00:14:46.759 --> 00:14:49.080 this, then that. You can still make those plans 00:14:49.080 --> 00:14:52.340 and there's still some direction based on what 00:14:52.340 --> 00:14:54.480 is happening in their life, how old they are, 00:14:54.519 --> 00:14:56.639 what their trajectory is. There's some people 00:14:56.639 --> 00:14:58.639 that have had, for instance, dementia in their 00:14:58.639 --> 00:15:00.759 family and they've seen a loved one go through 00:15:00.759 --> 00:15:02.940 it and that person only lived to be X amount 00:15:02.940 --> 00:15:05.279 of years old, right? And so they're coming up 00:15:05.279 --> 00:15:08.580 on it. Is it too early to plan? Maybe not, because 00:15:08.580 --> 00:15:11.080 they have seen what's coming before them. And 00:15:11.080 --> 00:15:13.320 all we can do is best guess. Right. And health 00:15:13.320 --> 00:15:16.399 care, you know, is it running in the family and 00:15:16.399 --> 00:15:18.919 all that stuff? So I think that it's never too 00:15:18.919 --> 00:15:21.000 early. I think there's always something that 00:15:21.000 --> 00:15:24.799 you can make sure is in line. Yeah. And so my 00:15:24.799 --> 00:15:29.379 next question, kind of similar to that, is who's 00:15:29.379 --> 00:15:32.539 calling? Is it the is it the senior citizen that's 00:15:32.539 --> 00:15:35.629 calling or is it? Is it the children who are 00:15:35.629 --> 00:15:41.110 calling? And can the children call without the 00:15:41.110 --> 00:15:46.210 permission of the parent? If they're like, hey, 00:15:46.250 --> 00:15:48.269 how do I navigate this? Can you answer that for 00:15:48.269 --> 00:15:52.269 me? Yeah, so most often it's the caregiver calling. 00:15:52.629 --> 00:15:57.129 That could be. a senior spouse it could be a 00:15:57.129 --> 00:15:59.409 senior themselves if they're independent or whatnot 00:15:59.409 --> 00:16:03.110 and most often it's a female adult child i mean 00:16:03.110 --> 00:16:06.529 we also get male adult children as well but the 00:16:06.529 --> 00:16:10.710 primary primary person is often that and they 00:16:10.710 --> 00:16:15.370 call because they either have had a loved one 00:16:15.370 --> 00:16:19.129 say i need help with this please help me find 00:16:19.129 --> 00:16:21.990 it and so they call us and we and we work it 00:16:21.990 --> 00:16:26.159 out or They're in caregiver burnout. They're 00:16:26.159 --> 00:16:28.399 overwhelmed. They don't know where to go. They 00:16:28.399 --> 00:16:31.500 find us and they call us and say, what do I do 00:16:31.500 --> 00:16:35.039 as a caregiver? Where do I go? How do I approach 00:16:35.039 --> 00:16:37.379 this conversation with my loved one? Can you 00:16:37.379 --> 00:16:40.240 come in and help and talk to them? And so, of 00:16:40.240 --> 00:16:42.440 course, before we go in, we get permission, all 00:16:42.440 --> 00:16:44.879 that stuff. But, you know, there is two different 00:16:44.879 --> 00:16:47.539 ways. Right. It's really like, can you help us 00:16:47.539 --> 00:16:49.879 or can you help them? Right. And it's trying 00:16:49.879 --> 00:16:52.870 to figure out what the situation is. Yeah. OK, 00:16:52.990 --> 00:16:57.730 that's good. And, you know, in my mind, I was 00:16:57.730 --> 00:17:02.509 I totally wasn't even considering the caregiver 00:17:02.509 --> 00:17:04.670 for some reason. I was just thinking about the 00:17:04.670 --> 00:17:06.390 children. Maybe that's because that's the position 00:17:06.390 --> 00:17:10.809 I'm in in my current life. The but and when you 00:17:10.809 --> 00:17:13.349 say caregiver, I'm just I'm just clarifying for 00:17:13.349 --> 00:17:15.390 our audience. When you say caregiver, you mean 00:17:15.390 --> 00:17:18.930 like. the spouse who is, has been, that has been 00:17:18.930 --> 00:17:21.990 caregiving up to a point and now they're, and 00:17:21.990 --> 00:17:24.170 now they're at a point where like, either I can't 00:17:24.170 --> 00:17:27.009 do this, it's too much, I'm burnt out or, or 00:17:27.009 --> 00:17:29.150 I need to really be prepared for what's next. 00:17:29.210 --> 00:17:32.690 Is that accurate? I mean, yes, but I mean anyone. 00:17:32.789 --> 00:17:36.230 So, so often, you know, there's a spouse involved 00:17:36.230 --> 00:17:38.569 and they're the caregiver, but they also have 00:17:38.569 --> 00:17:41.930 a caregiver. So it's like a caregiver role. You 00:17:41.930 --> 00:17:45.559 know, there's always kind of, you know, Generally 00:17:45.559 --> 00:17:48.140 always there's a support structure that goes 00:17:48.140 --> 00:17:51.660 out like a web almost. And so the caregivers 00:17:51.660 --> 00:17:55.160 are often the children, the adult children. And 00:17:55.160 --> 00:17:57.660 if it's not them, then it's a niece or it's a 00:17:57.660 --> 00:18:02.779 sister or something. and then uh and the and 00:18:02.779 --> 00:18:05.960 then the rare cases it's just the senior it's 00:18:05.960 --> 00:18:08.200 them there's nobody else and so then we're helping 00:18:08.200 --> 00:18:10.980 just them directly and working towards that um 00:18:10.980 --> 00:18:14.140 and the spouses often kind of get stuck because 00:18:14.140 --> 00:18:17.279 if the spouse is a caregiver then they're often 00:18:17.279 --> 00:18:20.240 more independent right they maybe don't want 00:18:20.240 --> 00:18:22.160 to do a move they might not want care in the 00:18:22.160 --> 00:18:25.059 home things like that and so it's a bit harder 00:18:25.059 --> 00:18:27.460 to get them on the phone with us. It's usually 00:18:27.460 --> 00:18:30.099 coming through an adult child because they see 00:18:30.099 --> 00:18:32.759 their mother, for instance, burning out and they're 00:18:32.759 --> 00:18:35.339 like, can you please talk to her and give her 00:18:35.339 --> 00:18:37.920 some experience, you know, information and whatnot 00:18:37.920 --> 00:18:40.900 so that she can see that there's other ways that 00:18:40.900 --> 00:18:44.859 this can go out. So we do get calls from the 00:18:44.859 --> 00:18:47.460 spouses as caregivers, but often it comes through 00:18:47.460 --> 00:18:50.640 the web of the adult children. Got it. Thanks 00:18:50.640 --> 00:18:54.799 for clarifying that. Also for the, our audience 00:18:54.799 --> 00:18:56.839 who's listening, I really want to hit on something 00:18:56.839 --> 00:19:00.720 that's very important because you mentioned that 00:19:00.720 --> 00:19:03.079 a lot of the people that are involved in this 00:19:03.079 --> 00:19:07.079 are overwhelmed or they feel burnt out or they 00:19:07.079 --> 00:19:13.039 feel a high level of uncertainty. So I'm setting 00:19:13.039 --> 00:19:15.400 you up for the good news now for our listeners 00:19:15.400 --> 00:19:21.779 to tell me, what is it? What have you seen your 00:19:21.779 --> 00:19:25.769 clients? experience emotionally as a result of 00:19:25.769 --> 00:19:31.009 taking time to make that call and have a conversation 00:19:31.009 --> 00:19:34.890 with you. I'll give you an example. I had a client 00:19:34.890 --> 00:19:36.990 the other day that was going to come on with 00:19:36.990 --> 00:19:39.849 us and her mom was in hospital. And the way that 00:19:39.849 --> 00:19:42.650 long -term care works here and a lot of places, 00:19:42.650 --> 00:19:45.910 it's just very, very complicated. And so she 00:19:45.910 --> 00:19:48.650 wrote us an email and she said, you know, actually, 00:19:48.710 --> 00:19:50.470 they're going right to long term care. We don't 00:19:50.470 --> 00:19:51.789 need to serve things very much. And we said, 00:19:51.829 --> 00:19:54.589 OK, no problem. And then I got a call from her 00:19:54.589 --> 00:19:58.470 and she was crying and she was saying, I got 00:19:58.470 --> 00:20:01.630 the wrong information from the hospital. I didn't 00:20:01.630 --> 00:20:05.329 understand what they said. And this can't happen. 00:20:05.410 --> 00:20:07.690 I need to do this. I just need my mom out. And 00:20:07.690 --> 00:20:10.890 she was just beside herself and rightly so. And 00:20:10.890 --> 00:20:14.769 I would say that, you know. When you call someone 00:20:14.769 --> 00:20:18.170 like myself and my team, we're going to put all 00:20:18.170 --> 00:20:21.130 those pieces together and we're going to do it 00:20:21.130 --> 00:20:22.869 very quickly and we're going to do it on your 00:20:22.869 --> 00:20:25.049 behalf. We're going to connect all the dots for 00:20:25.049 --> 00:20:28.920 you and show you a full picture. instead of having 00:20:28.920 --> 00:20:31.779 this spotty piece work because there's nothing 00:20:31.779 --> 00:20:34.039 more overwhelming than thinking you have an answer 00:20:34.039 --> 00:20:36.920 for a loved one that's in crisis and then finding 00:20:36.920 --> 00:20:39.660 out you don't have the answer and then you're 00:20:39.660 --> 00:20:42.700 back from square one right and then some of these 00:20:42.700 --> 00:20:45.640 adult children as well are still working some 00:20:45.640 --> 00:20:47.319 of them are in sandwich generation they're still 00:20:47.319 --> 00:20:49.400 raising kids they're having awkward conversations 00:20:49.400 --> 00:20:52.400 of birds and bees and elder care they got enough 00:20:52.400 --> 00:20:55.059 to do right taking on elder care planning is 00:20:55.059 --> 00:20:58.829 a whole other job and so And we just bring it 00:20:58.829 --> 00:21:00.789 all together. We speak the same language as the 00:21:00.789 --> 00:21:02.950 hospital, as a retirement home, a long term care, 00:21:03.210 --> 00:21:06.089 all of it. And so we can bring it and we can 00:21:06.089 --> 00:21:08.869 package it for them and customize it right for 00:21:08.869 --> 00:21:13.769 them. Yeah. And so I'm imagining that how people 00:21:13.769 --> 00:21:17.390 feel as a result of that is major relief. Right. 00:21:18.079 --> 00:21:21.319 Very, very much. They feel I mean, some of the 00:21:21.319 --> 00:21:24.599 reviews that come in. Right. Like basically like 00:21:24.599 --> 00:21:26.539 I couldn't have done this alone. Right. And it's 00:21:26.539 --> 00:21:28.619 like, I don't know how I found you, but thank 00:21:28.619 --> 00:21:31.339 God I did. Right. Like, you know, it's one of 00:21:31.339 --> 00:21:33.579 those things that it's like the relief that comes 00:21:33.579 --> 00:21:37.480 from not having to do it on their own, not trying 00:21:37.480 --> 00:21:40.400 to compare options with a field of information 00:21:40.400 --> 00:21:43.160 you don't know. Right. Like it's just. Yeah. 00:21:43.680 --> 00:21:47.299 That overwhelming piece makes people not do anything. 00:21:47.400 --> 00:21:49.640 And then it gets people into trouble more because 00:21:49.640 --> 00:21:52.660 they've stalled the process. Meanwhile, the person 00:21:52.660 --> 00:21:55.279 that needs the service is possibly getting more 00:21:55.279 --> 00:21:59.039 ill and more ill. And so as that happens, then 00:21:59.039 --> 00:22:00.599 they have to bring in more service. And it's 00:22:00.599 --> 00:22:03.640 just it just becomes this overwhelming mess of 00:22:03.640 --> 00:22:07.200 things. Yeah. And so we we keep the bus going. 00:22:07.339 --> 00:22:10.589 Right. We keep them moving forward. Yeah, I like 00:22:10.589 --> 00:22:13.230 that. You know, if you're listening to this and 00:22:13.230 --> 00:22:19.009 you're beginning to, that dimmer light is beginning 00:22:19.009 --> 00:22:25.150 to glow, you know, more boldly, pick up the phone, 00:22:25.269 --> 00:22:29.119 go to your email, go to her website. And just 00:22:29.119 --> 00:22:33.740 have a discovery call because we do not want 00:22:33.740 --> 00:22:36.380 to get caught in that level of overwhelm and 00:22:36.380 --> 00:22:39.400 uncertainty. We do not want to because really 00:22:39.400 --> 00:22:42.500 you're just putting yourself and the people involved 00:22:42.500 --> 00:22:46.299 in a position of more suffering. You're going 00:22:46.299 --> 00:22:48.779 to amplify the suffering that's already going 00:22:48.779 --> 00:22:52.839 on. You can begin to turn down that suffering 00:22:52.839 --> 00:22:56.900 by getting into communication, hiring these professionals 00:22:56.900 --> 00:23:01.170 who... already know what moves need to be made 00:23:01.170 --> 00:23:04.150 they are going to help you take the guesswork 00:23:04.150 --> 00:23:06.309 out of it and and what they're going to ultimately 00:23:06.309 --> 00:23:09.769 do and this is what all humans want is they want 00:23:09.769 --> 00:23:14.130 a sense of certainty they want to know what's 00:23:14.130 --> 00:23:19.029 what's going to happen next and um to me that's 00:23:19.029 --> 00:23:21.809 what it sounds like you guys really provide is 00:23:21.809 --> 00:23:24.809 a plan of this is what's going to be happening 00:23:24.809 --> 00:23:29.930 and And and you have buy in on it. And for me, 00:23:29.950 --> 00:23:32.970 like I always want that in my life. Right. I 00:23:32.970 --> 00:23:34.730 mean, personally, I always want to know what's 00:23:34.730 --> 00:23:37.890 going to happen. And I always want buy in for 00:23:37.890 --> 00:23:40.890 things that affect my life. So one health care 00:23:40.890 --> 00:23:44.259 can be. Very uncertain. It is uncertain all the 00:23:44.259 --> 00:23:46.559 time. So to your point about making kind of like 00:23:46.559 --> 00:23:49.920 plan A and then here's a plan B in case. And 00:23:49.920 --> 00:23:52.299 then if everything else fails, I got your phone 00:23:52.299 --> 00:23:55.279 number and they can call us. Right. And also 00:23:55.279 --> 00:23:57.700 to to your viewers as well and your listeners 00:23:57.700 --> 00:24:01.039 is that like if you're not in our area, there's 00:24:01.039 --> 00:24:03.480 most likely an elder care planner in your area 00:24:03.480 --> 00:24:06.380 that we can connect you with and make it a point 00:24:06.380 --> 00:24:09.440 to reach out to other elder care planners, specifically 00:24:09.440 --> 00:24:12.920 in the US and Canada. through my network of people 00:24:12.920 --> 00:24:16.220 to connect because they just, we just need a 00:24:16.220 --> 00:24:18.539 soft transfer for this person so that they can 00:24:18.539 --> 00:24:20.500 at least get into their zone because all the 00:24:20.500 --> 00:24:22.700 healthcare systems between provinces and states 00:24:22.700 --> 00:24:25.680 and everything, right? Countries, they're all 00:24:25.680 --> 00:24:28.420 different. So you need someone local, but we 00:24:28.420 --> 00:24:31.019 can most likely point you there. Nice. Nice. 00:24:32.890 --> 00:24:35.349 Really good information. Again, I told you like 00:24:35.349 --> 00:24:37.809 I did not know much about this industry. You've 00:24:37.809 --> 00:24:42.970 made it very understandable and certainly stressed 00:24:42.970 --> 00:24:46.650 the importance of being proactive. Thanks for 00:24:46.650 --> 00:24:48.869 your time today, Amy. I wish you all the best 00:24:48.869 --> 00:24:52.369 and look forward to having you back in a bit 00:24:52.369 --> 00:24:56.349 and finding out more. We'll dive into some more 00:24:56.349 --> 00:25:00.549 maybe stories about. So people can relate even 00:25:00.549 --> 00:25:04.730 more. And any last words before we wrap up? I 00:25:04.730 --> 00:25:07.369 just want to tell everybody to a reminder that 00:25:07.369 --> 00:25:10.230 they're not alone, right? We're all doing it. 00:25:10.329 --> 00:25:13.150 You just need to open the communication. Yeah. 00:25:13.210 --> 00:25:18.349 Yeah. Very good. My guest today is Amy Friesen 00:25:18.349 --> 00:25:23.190 and you can go to amyfriesen .com. She has the 00:25:23.190 --> 00:25:28.410 company called Tea and Toast. It's all about 00:25:28.410 --> 00:25:34.190 preparing for those final chapters in your life. 00:25:34.490 --> 00:25:36.470 So if you want more information, if you've heard 00:25:36.470 --> 00:25:40.470 something that sparks an idea or curiosity, reach 00:25:40.470 --> 00:25:42.690 out to her. And now it's time for you all to 00:25:42.690 --> 00:25:45.710 get out there. Be a source of kindness. Be a 00:25:45.710 --> 00:25:48.069 source of contribution. You do have something 00:25:48.069 --> 00:25:51.339 to offer this world, and I believe in you. Thank 00:25:51.339 --> 00:25:53.299 you for being here today. I'm really happy that 00:25:53.299 --> 00:25:55.339 you tuned in to Vision Pros Live. I'm looking 00:25:55.339 --> 00:25:58.579 forward to seeing your reactions as these episodes 00:25:58.579 --> 00:26:00.380 continue to move forward. This is going to get 00:26:00.380 --> 00:26:02.980 more and more fun. We'll have more and more engagement 00:26:02.980 --> 00:26:05.079 as well. We'll invite people to participate in 00:26:05.079 --> 00:26:07.259 the show. And thank you for giving us your time 00:26:07.259 --> 00:26:09.539 and attention. Have an excellent time building 00:26:09.539 --> 00:26:11.859 out your vision and becoming a vision pro yourself.