Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode
of Vision Pros Live. I'm your host and coach,
Fletcher Ellingson. Today on the show, excited
to talk with Mr. Mark Kohler. He is a speaker
and an author of Lead with Purpose. We're talking
about leadership today. Good morning and welcome
to the show, Mark. Yeah, thanks for having me,
Fletcher. My pleasure. You mentioned before we
started recording that this is one of your favorite
topics. It's also one of mine. We need... solid
leaders in our world. We need solid leaders in
our lives. We need solid leaders in our marriage,
in our parenting, in our schools. We need solid
leaders. So looking forward to this conversation.
But before we get to that, I always start off
with this question, because I want to remind
people that despite all the uncertainty and suffering
in the world, there is still good happening.
Wherever you want to look for bad, you're going
to find bad. Wherever you want to look for good,
you're going to find good. So, Mark, what's something
that's going well in your life, either professionally
or personally? Oh, so I've been married for 30
years on September 11th, so in six days. So,
you know, really excited about that and the relationship
I have with my wife. Very, very strong. We've
raised three strong women, 28, 26, and 24. They
are crushing it in the world. They have their
own challenges. So that's, you know, that's obviously
a huge win. On the business side, a huge win
is delving into speaking leadership from a keynote
stage. And I'm able to have a much bigger impact.
My experience was I was a U .S. nuclear submarine
officer. I then became an interim turnaround
CEO, and I created a powerful leadership framework
based on the million dollars the Navy invested
in me. leading, you know, average age of the
crew, 23 years old on missions critical to national
security, 10 months of the year underneath the
surface of the ocean, a disruptive environment.
And so bringing those skills and tools and teaching
them to people and businesses has just been,
you know, it's always, you know, fantastic, especially
Gen Y and Gen Z who are trying to figure out,
hey, how do I become successful in this world?
So I think that's the, you know. biggest success
that I've seen is just impacting more people's
lives because the tools that I teach are um easy
to implement and they're also learnable and shareable
so the impact and ripple that that has in an
organization is uh is very very satisfying that's
a huge one right on right on i love hearing that
um yeah and so uh your children your marriage
is going well your 30 -year marriage uh you have
three daughters who are out there um thriving
and i know uh also because i'm a father of five
kids it's It's wonderful to see your children
thrive and deal and navigate challenges powerfully
and learn from them. And then, yeah, then it
sounds like you have an incredibly unique background,
which positions you uniquely for keynoting. Yeah,
I can't even imagine some of the experiences
that you must have had under, you know, high
stakes, high pressure, really. And then and then
leading these these young people. Wow. What an
opportunity and what a rich experience you probably
bring to your audiences. Yeah, no, it's fantastic.
I mean, it was my first job out of college going
in the submarine force. And it was the hardest
job in the world. It was the strongest culture
I've ever been a part of. It's the most high
performance team. And again, the stakes weren't,
am I going to lose a client or is my business
going to shut down? These were life and death
decisions. And I was just, I mean, I was 23 years
old when I was doing this. So I was just like,
ah, everyone's doing this. And I look back on
it and it had such a foundational aspect on me.
And then again, I just love serving and giving
back. And if I can share these skills and tools
and I can accelerate someone else's leadership
journey, because here's a strong belief that
I have, because I get asked this question all
the time about leadership. Yeah. Is leadership
something that a few people are born with or
is it something that we learn? And my answer
is it's yes to both of those, but with one caveat.
Because I don't believe a few people are born
with leadership. I believe each and every single
one of us is born with a leadership toolkit inside.
And it turns out what my experience has been
is that it's not what we don't have. It's what
we don't use. And over the past 35 years, being
on elite level teams, helping to develop other
countless elite level teams, this is the number
one ingredient of those teams is that you view
everyone as a leader and everyone views themselves
as a leader. And then people are like, well,
what do I do? Sprinkle pixie dust on someone?
It's like, no, I actually have a framework that
I was taught. And if I can learn it, you know,
bottom 25 percent of my Navy class, if I can
learn it, you can learn it, too. And I've seen
it countless times where people have been able
to learn these leadership skills and tools and
and become the best version themselves. Right
on. Yeah, really good stuff. And and that's the
kind of stuff that we need to be reminded of.
It is it is we need to be reminded of what is
possible. And so I love that. I love for people
to hear like you have it within you. Yes. Using
it. You may not have tapped into it, but it's
there. We need to cultivate it. We need to bring
it out and help you really stand in that. So
love that. Because Fletcher, here's what it is
a lot of times. Oh, I'm not a leader. Yes. That's
someone else's or, you know, that's someone else.
It's like, no, no, no. You are a leader. And
just think about like a company that has, say
they have 1500 employees in it. They describe
themselves as 100 leaders leading 1 ,400 employees.
It's competing against a company that views themselves
as 1 ,500 leaders. Which one's going to win in
the long run? Yeah, it's the one that views themselves
as 1 ,500 leaders. And so, yes, it's inside of
all of us. It just needs to be tapped into and
awakened. All right, Mark, the show is called
Vision Pros Live. And so. My next question for
you is, what's your vision? Yeah, so our vision,
when we talk about vision, we talk about a period
in time. So I'm going to give you what my mission
is and I'm also going to give you what the vision
is. So I'll start with a mission, which you never
get to. Our mission is to help people lead more
purposeful and inspiring lives. That's in every
single aspect of their life. And I envision a
world where everyone views themselves as a leader.
And just think about that. What if everyone viewed
themselves as a leader and then they had the
skills in their life to be able to handle any
situation that came their way, have individual
readiness, but also how do you then have in a
dynamically changing environment? What in the
submarine force we talked about was collective
readiness. So we envision a world that's steeped
in purpose. And people have the skills and tools
to navigate any situation that comes their way,
not just in business. There's challenges we have
in our personal lives and our families and our
communities. So I envision a world where everyone
feels like they're deeply connected to something
bigger than themselves. So, you know, and we'll
never, ever get there. So that's my that's my
mission or purpose. And then I'll share with
you my vision, though. Yeah. I really like this.
idea of collective readiness um because there's
because we frequently focus on ourselves am i
ready are you ready i love this concept of are
we ready um is my community ready is my family
ready um this is i i like this concept a lot
can you tell me how do you how might we go about
influencing, influencing that in our, in our
communities. Yeah. So I think, you know, we've
done this test initially started with in the,
in the business aspect, we've done this test
with over 500 companies. So here's what we do.
We ask them, what is your mission? Which is you
never get to, this has been described to me like
mother Teresa, her mission was to love the poor
and then she would never get to it because they
were. continue to be more poor people. And a
vision is, hey, in five years, we're going to
love 1 .5 million people. So it's a time frame.
So we ask companies, what is your mission? What's
your vision? What's your top three annual goals?
What's your top five values? How aligned do you
think they are, Fletcher, on those four key topics?
How aligned do you think they are? I would say
they're probably not very aligned. Yeah. So when
we ask them up front, we say, how aligned do
you think you are as a team? Average is 68%.
When we do the analysis, on average, a team on
those four key things is only 9 % aligned. Whoa,
that's a lot lower than I was expecting. Yeah.
Look, would you climb Mount Everest with a team
that's only 9 % aligned? Whoa, no. Yeah, you
just wouldn't. So how do we get people involved?
First, it's about clarity. Clarity. And what
was happening for me, just for the audience,
is that I was steeped in creating one -page business
plans for companies that helped us to see very
clearly all of these four things. And that's
when I got tremendous success. I was not having
a lot of success in my family aspect. I was telling
my wife, hey, I'm working hard so we can have
things, and this is what I'm supposed to do.
And she said, hey, why don't we create a one
-page family plan? I love it. That's what changed.
That's why we've been married for 30 years. So
she said, hey, and my thought was like, hey,
if it's important for a company to have a mission
statement, a vision, a set of values and the
top three annual goals and a set of rituals,
would it be important for a family to have that?
And it's like, absolutely. And so I have these.
You know, basically, I have one page on the front
of it is my one page business plan on the back
of it's my one page family plan. And if it's
not on that plan, I get to say no to it. And
so and so I think and when you have to write
it down and put it in on one page and you have
to. I didn't just create this and go, hey, you're
here, family. Right. We sat down and we we went
through stories of our history and and and they
were involved in it. And they're bought into
it. Now, one of the things is one of my daughters
calls me when she's 22 years old. My middle daughter
calls me and says, hey, I got a tattoo. And I'm
like, huh? But six months earlier, she asked
me to write out our mission statement, which
is make it a great day. We've shortened it to
Miyajita. So we just say Miyajita to each other.
Every day we talk to each other, we say Miyajita.
Right. That means make it a great day. Whatever
is going to be given to you today, you know,
get there. And so she shows me my handwritten
honor, honor right here. She has me and she looks
at it every day. Now, if you're if your daughter
is going to get a tattoo of it, it's if it's
the family mission statement. I felt a little
better about that. So so I think the number one
thing you can do is clarity. It's what we say.
We have a family with purpose dot com. We have
lead with purpose dot com. But the number one
thing we ask you to do is we ask you to sit down.
We ask you to put together your mission statement,
because once you do that and people care about
what they do, they know how they belong to something
bigger than themselves. Everything else is a
lot easier. Hey, I got to work out. I got to
be healthy. I have to do these things in business.
If I give a crap about my job and I know other
people are in the same shared purpose and that
same energy in the heart. then it's a lot easier.
So I think the number one thing, people overlook
this. They go, yeah, we have our mission statement.
I always tell CEOs, well, tell me what's your
mission statement. I said, do you know your mission
statement? They say, oh yeah, I love it, right?
And then it's like, well, tell me what it is.
And they're like this. They're grabbing the binder,
right? They're looking on the wall going and
they're reading this 42 word thing. And it's
like, no one remembers it. So I would just say
the number one thing you have to do is get really
clear on your mission statement. What I learned
in the submarine force is our missions were always
two words long. So the mission to go underneath
the first submarine to go underneath the Nautilus
to go to the North Pole mission was Operation
Sunshine. Two words. Everyone can remember it.
Is that everything you needed? No, but everyone
knew, hey, we're on Operation Sunshine right
now. Yeah. And so how do you code word it and
have a code word mission statement? I love that.
I yeah, this is such this is really gold. And
I invite our listeners to really take a moment
and just ask yourself, do I have clarity in these
key areas of my life? Do I have clarity in my
my marriage? Like, for instance, my wife and
I, we're a big believer in defining, defining
who we are, who we are in our marriage, who we
are in our finances. So, for instance, in our
marriage. I don't ever. So because I went through
a divorce and I never, ever want to do that again.
Right. When I entered into my second marriage,
we both wanted to do it with massive intention.
Yes. So so we actually defined who we are in
our marriage. So we're never going to. Yeah.
If we're never going to wonder, like, gosh, who
are we? Where? Right. So I can. And I love that
you said, like, yeah, most people can't. They
can't. you just rattle off their mission statement
or their about but in my relationship who we
are in my marriage this is who we are who we
are is wide open communication stronger than
steel support um a living illustration of joy
connection and contribution um so that's what
we are wide open communication we're uh stronger
than still support a living illustration of joy
connection and contribution so i know who we
are Fantastic, Fletcher. Fantastic. Because it
becomes a guiding light for you. Yes. Right?
If things are going off the rails, you can regroup
quickly and easily. Wait a second. Let's say
who we are. And it grounds you. Yeah. So I love
what you're saying. Clarity is access to power.
And the clearer you can get. the greater access
you have to taking bold actions and creating
the outcomes that you want in your life. Love,
love, love what you're saying. I would just add
one thing. Mel Robbins says clarity is kind.
That's a fun way to look at that. Clarity is
kind. Yeah. Cool, right? Yeah, well, it's awesome.
Yeah. And, and the other thing that I'm, I'm
really appreciating too, is that, you know, your
daughter who got the tattoo, the MIA GDA, or
how'd you say, how'd you pronounce it again?
Oh, make it a great day. And we say, we just
say miyajda to each other. Yeah. That's our best
way. People think we're Italian or something.
So what's great about that is, is that you can,
you know, listening to you, you get the sense
that. your your children have bought into this
right like uh this this level of personal involvement
personal development personal empowerment whatever
you want to call it like it's so exciting when
you see your children start to to buy into it
and it impacts them our children um all grew
up with personal development and uh they couldn't
stand it at the time but my 30 year old uh we
were having a conversation recently and she's
like, I'm so glad we had that in our household,
even though we resisted it early on, but it's
actually made the difference for them. Fletcher
had the same exact. um experience yeah right
it was this time and then we're like put together
a one -page family plan my kids knew i put together
one -page business plans they're sitting there
with their eyes crossed they don't want to participate
and we put together a set of personal goals based
around mind body and spirit and then and then
it was like they would come to me privately and
go hey can we can we check off that goal on the
on the list And then, you know, it was on our
refrigerator. Every Sunday we looked at it. Hey,
how do we do it? Held me accountable. Like, hey,
why aren't we doing four family dinners a week?
But then, but then it's exactly the same thing.
They were like, hey, are we going to, you know,
they came home from college one time and they
go, hey, are we going to do our one page family
plan? I was like, oh. Gosh, it made my heart
feel really good. I bet. I bet. Oh, that is so
fun. Hey, I don't know if you ever share this,
but I would love to see your one -page family
plan. It would be so cool and inspiring. Is that
something you share? It's go to familywithpurpose
.com, and you can have at it. And it's called
familywithpurpose .com? Yeah. Family purpose
.com. Sorry. Sorry. Family. So I have lead with
purpose, which is our business one page plan.
Then we have family with purpose. Oh, family
with purpose. Yeah. Yeah. Someone was sitting
on the URL Fletcher and we reached out to them.
They wanted $10 ,000 and we offered them like
$1 ,800. And they said, yes, I couldn't get my
credit card out fast enough to go like, I'm fumbling
with it going like, he better not change his
mind. Right on. So if you're listening to this
and you're feeling inspired or curious about
what this looks like. You can go to familywithpurpose
.com. I'm going to go and check that out. I'm
fascinated with this one -page family plan. And
then also go to leadwithpurpose .com if you want
to connect with Mark, find out more about what
he does, or look into bringing him to your organization
because you can imagine he's going to deliver
a... powerful keynote um that's clear just from
this brief conversation we're having uh mark
we're coming up against our our time here is
a uh is there uh we so we have familywithpurpose
.com leadwithpurpose .com you have your book
leadwithpurpose .com yep leading yeah leading
with purpose i'll just show it right here yeah
leading with purpose yep um get uh any last words
before we uh say goodbye no i mean i would just
say you know you wake up every single day it's
a tremendous gift we have this time and um and
uh you know i would just say make it a great
day yeah make it a great day absolutely the reason
we say make it is not have have is passive make
it means like hey we got it we got to get into
it we believe that like god's very involved in
our lives but we're like hey you can't just lay
around you know he wants us to do stuff and so
we are we are deeply steeped in uh in that make
it a great day not have a great day absolutely
right uh there is action is required right yes
um so so make it a great day everybody get out
there be a source of kindness be a source of
contribution you do have something to offer this
world and i believe in you Thank you for being
here today. I'm really happy that you tuned in
to Vision Pros Live. I'm looking forward to seeing
your reactions as these episodes continue to
move forward. This is going to get more and more
fun. We'll have more and more engagement as well.
We'll invite people to participate in the show.
And thank you for giving us your time and attention.
Have an excellent time building out your vision
and becoming a vision pro yourself.