Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode
of Vision Pros Live. I'm your host and coach,
Fletcher Ellingson. So glad you're here. I'm
so glad you're in this conversation because it's
a conversation of inspiration. It's a conversation
of motivation. It's a conversation of... expanding
our knowledge base and the opportunity to create
possibility so welcome to the show uh my guest
today is joanne merrick and she is from the leadership
recipe welcome to the show joanne thank you so
much great to be here hi everyone yeah hey um
so before we get into what it is you do uh i
want to start out with the win because it's we're
habitually program to look for what's not working
in the world. And that's easy to find. But I
like to remind people that we can also create
a habit of looking for what is working well,
what is feeling good. And so lay it on me, Joanne,
what's been going well for you in your life,
either professionally or personally? Yeah, great
question. So I guess a couple of things. Connection
with other people in my industry that I have
known for a long time. You know, I think when
we when we've had careers, you know, for myself,
it's expanded over 20 years, especially in the
learning and leadership development space. Reconnecting
with people that I initially met. you know, 15
years ago in Hong Kong when I lived there and
worked for a company called Juniper Networks
and starting to do more live sessions like this,
like LinkedIn live sessions, streaming sessions.
And we're talking about the importance of coaching.
We're talking about the importance of great leaders.
And we're also talking about AI. and what's going
on in the ai space which for me is just absolutely
mind -blowingly fantastic right now with the
amount of time that you know some of these ai
tools are saving people on a day -to -day basis.
And we're just expanding our horizons every single
day with every single prompt that we put into
any AI tool that we might be using at this particular
point in time, I believe. And I just think the
AI tools that are being created right now are
just getting better and better and better. So
I've been really excited to kind of really dive
into my old relationships, revamping, revitalizing
those relationships, relying on the friendships,
work friendships that I've had. in the past while
kind of expanding my knowledge my experience
in the ai world yeah that's great so so what
i heard you say is there's uh your what feels
good in your life is reconnecting and bringing
some energy to those those relationships in your
life um and that is so important because when
we think about it and i really invite our listeners
to really consider this what i'm about to say
is that Life is always happening in relationship.
Right. Period. Like you and I are in a relationship
right now. Now, before you hopped on this call,
I was still in relationship. Relationship with
what? Well, I'm in a relationship with the chair
I'm sitting on. Like if I bring my attention
to it, I notice there's like, oh, I'm sitting
in this chair. I'm typing on this keyboard. If
I look over to my right at the lamp. i'm suddenly
in relationship with that lamp life is always
occurring in relationship and so what i love
about what you said is what would happen if we
maybe we became intentional about the relationships
we're in if we became really intentional about
the energy that we're bringing to them uh uh
you know what what could what might be possible
if we just raised our awareness of that right
yeah absolutely and and raise our awareness of
how we are being impacted by those objects or
things or people or relationships but more importantly
how we are impacting other people yeah or how
we are impacting our environment in the most
positive of ways because i truly believe that
you know what are we in life if not the impact
we have on other people in particular so focusing
on having the most positive impact on people
things circumstances our environment is um just
so so important and i think it's a choice that
we can make every single day i just got goosebumps
and i'll tell you why um yeah because this is
this is such uh an exciting question and i love
it when people go deep with me and so again i
want to ask our our listeners to really like
just pay attention to what she just said she's
and get curious and this is an opportunity to
get curious What kind of impact are you making
in your relationships with other people? What
kind of relation, what kind of impact? I mean,
take a moment and answer that for yourself. Am
I being a source of kindness? Is my impact kindness?
Is my impact contribution? Is my impact a sense
of levity? Is my impact a sense of hope? Is my
impact a sense of positivity? Or not. Right.
Like answer that question. And and if you don't
care for the answer, this is your opportunity
to get curious, like what's driving that and
what what do I want my impact to be in my relationships?
Love that question. Thank you so much for bringing
that to the table. Absolutely. This came to the
fore for me when a dear friend of mine passed
away five months shy of his 50th birthday, Fletcher,
and it was a really difficult time for me to
go through. But you come through these things
at the end of the day, and that's what my relationship
with this particular person left me. And I truly
believe that the impact that we have on other
people is within our control. You know, we just
need to be a little bit more thoughtful about
it every single day in, you know, every single
way. And to your point, get curious and ask ourselves,
what impact are we having? And what if we're
not happy with the answer? What might I do to
change that impact for the positive? Our relationships.
to get back to what we were originally talking
about, in my opinion, are one of the most important
things in life. And not only with family, you
know, family's important, but for me it's been
the friendships, my friends, that I've managed
to be very appreciative and grateful for over
the time and to never, ever, ever take that for
granted, ever. Oh, gosh. That is such a good,
good point. And, um, well, we are just, we're
just going to take some sidebars here because
this is so rich. Um, um, when you mentioned that
about friendships, I heard a podcast recently
and the topic was called, it was, it was oriented
for men and it was, the topic was where have
all my male friendships gone? Right. And, uh,
It was such a wonderful podcast episode. This
guy was so just articulate and so vulnerable.
It was really refreshing. But one of the things
he said about his friends was that I'd never
really considered this. He said, you know, we
all have friendships in our life. And if you
remember early on when you were developing friends
as a kid, it was more than a friendship. It was
a love. It was a love there. There was love.
you loved your friends like it wasn't it may
not have been a romantic um love but you were
in love with them i mean and i remember that
that feeling like i couldn't wait to be with
my my buddies you know i couldn't wait to get
home drop my my books off and run back outdoors
i loved being with them i loved my my friends
i loved my friends and so these relationships
are so important because consider just to be
open up to the possibility that I'm actually
in love with these people, right? Sometimes we
say it, sometimes we don't. Yes, exactly, right?
And sometimes we say it, sometimes we don't.
And, you know, and men are a little more shy
about it, you know, if I'm going to paint with
a broad brush. But anyways, yes, so friendships,
they're so rich. So, yeah, really, really. We
want to get curious about like, yeah, am I feeding,
am I feeding that relationship? Exactly. You
know, am I telling the people that I love that
I love them? Yeah. Yeah. You know, and I know
I get, I understand that from a male perspective,
that can be a little bit challenging at times,
but it's something that I try and do every time
I leave any conversation that I have, because
it's important. And you never know when you might
have a last conversation with someone, as I found
out quite. And the relationships that I think
we have and we build over time are part of our
legacy as a human being. You know, that's what
we will leave behind when we leave this earth.
And, you know, I like to ask the question sometimes
in my programs, you know, how if people are thinking
about you, if they hear your name in conversation
or what's the first word that might come to mind
for them about you? Yeah. Or what do you want
it to be? Yeah. You know, and start leaving that
kind of impression with people because you are
leaving a legacy in everything you do and every
experience that you create with and for other
people. And it's really important. I think we
take it for granted sometimes. So let's not do
that anymore. Yeah, that's right. What we're
talking about here, folks, is bringing intention
to our relationships. Yes, definitely. Yeah.
Yeah. Love that. Well, Joanne, let's introduce
you. You are Joanne Merrick. Your brand is The
Leadership Recipe. And what I'd like to hear
from you now is because we are on Vision Pros.
What's your vision? Yes, my vision. I guess this
is part of the legacy conversation as well. So
having worked in management and leadership development
now across five continents, 22 countries, I was
born in Australia, if folks are wondering what
my accent is. I've lived in Australia, obviously,
in Hong Kong for three and a half years and now
based in the US. And working in the management
and leadership space, I think the role of a manager
is becoming more, and leader, you know, I use
the term kind of together, although the skills
associated with them can be very different. But
I would like to think that managers and leaders
take their roles so much more seriously than
they do now or they ever have in the past in
terms of the impact that they're having on other
folks. And ideally, obviously, the people that
work for them or report directly to them, but
also people that are their peers and maybe even
their managers or their leaders that they're
working with. And to be super conscious about
the impact that they are having on those folks.
I think that the relationship between a manager
and their direct report is absolutely underestimated
in terms of the impact that it can have, particularly
on the direct report. And my vision is to create
a world where managers are much more aware of
the impact that they have on other people and
start to do more of what they really can do to
have a more positive impact, to take a more positive
approach. And that starts with what I wrote my
book about, which is called Game On, Is Management
Your Best Career Play? And that's about helping
folks make a more conscious decision to step
into the world of management rather than the
typical trustful exercise that exists today where
people get promoted into a role that they have
no idea what it entails other than from what
the experience that they've had as being managed
themselves. So my vision in a perfect world.
is that such an important relationship between
manager and direct report is seen as a much more
significant one with much more awareness of the
impact that each have on each other particularly
managers on their direct reports and to make
it so much more positive and so much more engaging
as a result yeah such a great uh vision and such
an important topic what i heard you say is your
vision is to to empower managers to raise their
awareness of the influence that they currently
have and and can have um and this is so important
because the experience of your life i mean wherever
you are in your life the experience of your life
is 100 percent reliant on your level of awareness
Yes. Right. You are only going to experience
that which you are aware of. And so so if we
want to see significant gains in our impact in
the quality of our relationships and what is
possible, then we have to begin to intentionally
raise our awareness. Now, so I really appreciate
that. Now, some people listening might be thinking,
well, I. Okay, that's great. I kind of get it,
you know, theoretically. Right. But how would
you suggest that I bring intention to raising
or expanding my awareness? We have to be curious.
We have to be asking more questions. especially
as managers. Like, how did that meeting go for
you? What went well? What could I have done differently?
Maybe not every one -on -one, but every few one
-on -ones, you know, show some curiosity about
how am I as your manager? I want to learn. I
want to get better as your manager, like being
humble enough to acknowledge. that there is an
element of esteem or there's an element of authority
that comes with that role. And with that authority,
with that esteem, comes a responsibility for
you to be curious as to how you can get better
and how you can, to your point, become more self
-aware around the impact that we're having on
other people. You know, sometimes there's a gap
between the intention behind a behavior or what
we've said or how we've said it and the actual
impact that that behavior or what we've said
or how we've said it has had on another person.
And if there's a huge gap between our intent
and the impact that we're actually having, we
need to be aware of that. The equation is that
our intent needs to equal our impact in order
to have effective communication and to become
better managers every day. And the complexity
associated with this lecture is that we are all
running on a treadmill. We are going at a million
miles an hour to get results, to get outcomes,
to get our job done. And people are struggling
with this element of their relationships. And
it is so important because just if we took a
little bit of time out to spend looking into
these areas as managers and as leaders, we could
excel the outcome. We could excel in our results.
We can excel in our relationships and obviously
make the better everything and everyone around
us. And I truly... I truly believe that. And
on the converse side of that, I've just seen
so much damage personally and professionally
to some of these relationships between managers
and their direct reports that are life -changing,
that are lifelong. And I think we need to take
the role a lot more seriously than what we...
than what we are i think organizations need to
take the role much more seriously and i know
some great companies offer fantastic training
associated with how to be a great manager but
my research suggests that a lot of people are
promoted to the role of manager around about
the age of 28 to 30 but they don't actually attend
any formal training until their their early 40s
they go over a decade struggling and impacting
in sometimes the most negative of ways only to
find out you know way too late when the damage
is done and i'm i just don't that that damage
is just too significant and yeah we need to step
up and and change and change yes it's too important
So much good stuff you just touched on. And this
last thing you're talking about, you know, is
commonly referred to as the Peter's principle,
right? Where a person is promoted out of matter
of course, but not necessarily because they're
the best person for the role. It's just like
they're either next in line or this seems like
what should be next, but without the training,
right? And then they only can manage at... at
their lowest I mean at the at the quality that
they have which is no training right or minimal
training and so there's this revolving door frequently
for managers and then the and the person who's
hiring the manager is like god we're just we
just can't find anybody good no no it's that
we haven't we haven't set them up for success
right so coming back I want to highlight a few
of the things you mentioned because I want our
viewers to really get this gold we asked the
question How do we intentionally, if we all agree,
first of all, that if we want to experience greater
breadth in our life and life is the sum of our
awareness, then to do that, we raise our awareness
intentionally. How do we do that? And he said,
we get curious. We begin asking questions and
really, if you really want to grow quickly, welcome
feedback. ask for feedback be humble yes like
the fastest way to grow is to to for people to
ask the hard questions like where can i improve
right what what do you perceive as um some of
my weaknesses or or stumbling blocks help you
know give me that feedback when i started you
know for much of my life i was just committed
to being right um you know we all love being
right right and and and when i realized how much
it was hurting me i made a commitment to start
pointing out when i was wrong when i didn't know
the answer and just taking responsibility so
in my i'm thinking of a particular uh company
that i used to work at i mean at company meetings
when they would say like who did this i mean
i would just be like could have been me oh that
was probably me or like Or if somebody asked
me a question like, gosh, you know, I think it's
this, but I've been wrong so many times. Let
me double check or let's bounce it off somebody
else. Or if I was wrong, like, oh, yeah, that
was me. I just own it. And I became really comfortable
with owning where I was wrong, made a mistake.
And I'm telling you, Joanne, that was freeing.
Yeah. Right. It didn't feel like it at the time.
But now in my life, when I could just be like,
oh, yeah, that was me. Yeah, I make mistakes.
Yeah, like it's so there's so much freedom there.
So get curious, welcome feedback and and get
familiar with your vision. Know what your vision
is, you know, become familiar with it. So it's
so you start living into it. And then you and
I love what you said. I can't remember the exact
words, but you're talking about managers being
impactful, effective. And I think if you're a
manager. some of the three of the things you
can continue to ask yourself if you really want
to grow does my team feel heard right do they
feel heard and if you don't know the answer to
that then i invite you to like really focus on
that the way you know if a person feels heard
or not is that you're parroting back to them
what you just heard them say using their words
you know right and so they're gonna you you should
be able to at least repeat back what you just
heard so they feel they have the experience of
being heard do they feel supported and finally
do they feel safe yep right so these three things
are the the the fundamentals of building this
thing called trust Absolutely. Absolutely. Right.
So I'd like to take that one step further. I'd
like to take that one step further. And I hope
I've got a little background noise. So I hope
that's not too distracting. I'm not hearing it.
Making other people feel relevant. You know,
having a sense like valued, appreciated, understood,
you know, is all important in building trust.
But for me, the word relevance. And this gets
back to our friendships too, you know, as well.
And I think to your point around before when
you said there's a love there, there's that strength
of a relationship there that we can call love.
You know, I like to ensure that other people
feel relevant in my life and I like to feel relevant
in their lives as well. You know, I was listening
to a podcast myself the other day and they were
talking about tribal dynamics. And even one of
the three -year -old children in the tribe feels
relevant because he or her have been tasked with
looking after the goats that give the milk to
the tribe, you know, even as a three -year -old
to feel relevant. And I think that is a very,
I don't know, maybe misunderstood or less acknowledged
word. because I think we all like to feel relevant
and if managers thought to themselves or we think
to ourselves in terms of our relationships with
other people how might I be making other people
feel relevant in my life right now and that might
be showing some appreciation it might be thanking
them for something it might be asking them for
help Because we all love to help other people.
There's a neuroscience associated with the importance
of that. If someone comes to me asking me for
my help in something, if I can do it, I'll absolutely
love to do it. And I'll feel relevant and important
in their lives as well. So, you know, there's
a multi -dynamic going on here. And I would really
love to, maybe that's my vision, Fletcher, is
for everybody to feel relevant. no matter where
you are or what you're doing in your life. That's
beautiful. Yeah. That is beautiful. Thank you
for helping me bring that out. I appreciate it.
Yeah, that is absolutely beautiful. I love that.
Imagine, imagine if everybody really, truly felt
like they were relevant, like they mattered.
Yeah. Right. Ah, that's gorgeous. Gosh, so much
good stuff. I hope you all are enjoying this
conversation as much as I am, because this is
why I love podcasting. We get to connect with
people all around the globe who are being a source
of contribution, who are raising the bar for
really intentional living. So love this conversation.
We're just about up against our time here. Would
you do me a favor, Joanne, and let people know
how they can connect with you, how they can get
a copy of your book, and maybe there's some managers
listening who are like, dang, man, we really
need to bring this person in, like get some clarification
in our own culture going. What's the best way
to get a hold of you? Thank you. Yeah, so just
Joanne. J -O -A -N -N -E. I know it's not a very
common name. People often ask me, how do I spell
that? At theleadershiprecipe .com. My website
is theleadershiprecipe .com as well. And my book
is available on Amazon and its title is Game
On, Is Management Your Best Career Play? And
it's designed to kind of really help folks make
an intentional decision to become managers by
detailing... all of what they need to know before
making such a pivotal and important career decision.
And I'd love to connect with folks on LinkedIn
as well. If you're listening, please do reach
out to me on LinkedIn. I do a lot of posts day
to day. And I also do a weekly LinkedIn live
session talking about AI and coaching as well.
So I'd love to connect with you. Right on. So
good. So good to have you on the show. Let's
see here. And you said, oh yeah, there is also
some sort of assessment tool on your website.
Is that accurate? Yes, there is. In my book,
I detail an assessment that folks can complete
to determine whether management is the right
thing for them now or at some point in the future.
And I created that using an AI tool, which was
fun to create myself. And it's available on my
website. And there's also a 360 element associated
with that too. So you can send a link out to
other people to get their determination as to
where you're at as it relates to some of the
skills that I've identified in my book that are
important for becoming great managers as well.
That's that kind of self -awareness element that
I built into that lecture that we talked about
earlier. It's not just what I think. You know,
it's really important to be open to what other
people think as well. So I built that into the
tool. So that's a free tool that's available
from my website. And I would love to connect
with folks if they do do the tool. Give me some
feedback on how that went for them. And I would
love to continue the conversation. Right on.
Well, thank you so much, Joanne. The website
is theleadershiprecipe .com. Joanne Merrick is
the author, speaker, and coach. Reach out, get
in touch, and now it's time for you all to get
out there, be a source of kindness, be a source
of contribution. You do have something to offer
this world, and I believe in you. We'll see you
next time here on Vision Pros. Thank you for
being here today. I'm really happy that you tuned
in to Vision Pros Live. I'm looking forward to
seeing your reactions as these episodes continue
to move forward. This is going to get more and
more fun. We'll have more and more engagement
as well. We'll invite people to participate in
the show. And thank you for giving us your time
and attention. Have an excellent time building
out your vision and becoming a vision pro yourself.