WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.120 Welcome back to Vision Pros. This is going to 00:00:02.120 --> 00:00:04.480 be a very interesting conversation. Today, we 00:00:04.480 --> 00:00:06.759 have Jonathan Asley, and he's calling in from 00:00:06.759 --> 00:00:09.099 Los Angeles, California. Jonathan, welcome to 00:00:09.099 --> 00:00:11.400 the show. I'm so glad you're here. Would you 00:00:11.400 --> 00:00:13.740 please introduce yourself? Sure. Well, thanks 00:00:13.740 --> 00:00:16.899 for having me, Sue. I appreciate it. So my name 00:00:16.899 --> 00:00:19.820 is Jonathan Asley, as you just shared. Professionally, 00:00:19.859 --> 00:00:23.460 I'm a dating and relationship coach, but I really 00:00:23.460 --> 00:00:28.379 emphasize the importance of individual empowerment. 00:00:29.810 --> 00:00:35.549 more as the crux of a healthy, happy relationship. 00:00:35.750 --> 00:00:39.149 So while I tend to guide men and women in finding 00:00:39.149 --> 00:00:41.310 and keeping the right relationship, it really 00:00:41.310 --> 00:00:44.329 starts with finding and keeping the right relationship 00:00:44.329 --> 00:00:47.270 within yourself. So that's where I spend more 00:00:47.270 --> 00:00:50.890 of my time, even though I talk about online dating 00:00:50.890 --> 00:00:54.350 and all the different issues that people are 00:00:54.350 --> 00:00:56.770 faced with when it comes to meeting and keeping 00:00:56.770 --> 00:00:59.969 a relationship. That's incredible. That plays 00:00:59.969 --> 00:01:02.149 right into what I would love to ask you here 00:01:02.149 --> 00:01:03.950 is what is your vision for those that you're 00:01:03.950 --> 00:01:07.329 serving? I know today in the dating world, this 00:01:07.329 --> 00:01:11.170 is crazy stuff compared to anything that's been 00:01:11.170 --> 00:01:15.430 there for the past 20, 30, 40, 50 years. It's 00:01:15.430 --> 00:01:19.290 happening a lot differently now. So given today's 00:01:19.290 --> 00:01:23.109 climate, who are you helping? What problem are 00:01:23.109 --> 00:01:25.530 you helping them solve? What is your vision for 00:01:25.530 --> 00:01:29.030 serving these people? Well, that's a really big 00:01:29.030 --> 00:01:31.629 question. So let me try to parse this out in 00:01:31.629 --> 00:01:33.629 a couple different ways. You know, it's interesting. 00:01:33.810 --> 00:01:36.329 I was watching a video the other day. It said. 00:01:36.909 --> 00:01:40.189 The 80s are calling you back. And this was 1985 00:01:40.189 --> 00:01:43.810 and how the world was so different before the 00:01:43.810 --> 00:01:47.150 Internet, computer and smartphone, at least accessible 00:01:47.150 --> 00:01:50.209 to the general public. I mean, they'd been around 00:01:50.209 --> 00:01:53.590 for a while and how the world has changed so 00:01:53.590 --> 00:01:56.890 much, particularly in the area of connecting 00:01:56.890 --> 00:01:59.870 and meeting people. And it's interesting that 00:01:59.870 --> 00:02:05.150 in the last 10 plus years. online dating now 00:02:05.150 --> 00:02:10.229 represents about 65 % of all new relationships. 00:02:10.370 --> 00:02:12.810 And let me reframe that, the internet, because 00:02:12.810 --> 00:02:15.509 there could be other chat rooms and other ways 00:02:15.509 --> 00:02:19.270 people are connecting. But 65 % of all new relationships 00:02:19.270 --> 00:02:22.849 seem to begin with some sort of online connection. 00:02:23.210 --> 00:02:26.750 Wow. And why this is so pivotally important is 00:02:26.750 --> 00:02:29.990 that you know for the most part we're meeting 00:02:29.990 --> 00:02:33.949 total strangers unlike you know 50 100 plus years 00:02:33.949 --> 00:02:37.270 ago we made it within our tribes we made it within 00:02:37.270 --> 00:02:39.889 our communities we made it within our culture 00:02:39.889 --> 00:02:42.650 and that sort of thing so things have changed 00:02:42.650 --> 00:02:46.199 dramatically And I think because of that, there 00:02:46.199 --> 00:02:49.000 is so much confusion. There's so much frustration, 00:02:49.280 --> 00:02:53.539 quite frankly, because it now invites in people 00:02:53.539 --> 00:02:56.719 who are emotionally unavailable. It invites who 00:02:56.719 --> 00:02:59.259 would like to have some level of connection, 00:02:59.419 --> 00:03:02.659 but not fully committed relationships. As one 00:03:02.659 --> 00:03:05.639 example, it invites in scam artists, invites 00:03:05.639 --> 00:03:10.240 in people who are players and users. So there's 00:03:10.240 --> 00:03:14.210 a lot more filtering. involved than maybe we 00:03:14.210 --> 00:03:17.270 had done in the past, because we we often we 00:03:17.270 --> 00:03:19.409 for the most part, we always connected with somebody 00:03:19.409 --> 00:03:22.069 that knew somebody that knew the person we were 00:03:22.069 --> 00:03:24.050 connecting with. There was like no degrees of 00:03:24.050 --> 00:03:27.770 separation. So, OK, so why am I sharing this? 00:03:28.389 --> 00:03:32.469 My vision has always been the vision I've served 00:03:32.469 --> 00:03:37.370 is helping humans become way more discerning 00:03:37.370 --> 00:03:41.250 in the process. And I don't mean like. filtering 00:03:41.250 --> 00:03:44.289 out you know and making it complicated but to 00:03:44.289 --> 00:03:49.009 be more intentional in the process of human pair 00:03:49.009 --> 00:03:52.270 bonding to have grown -up conversations and and 00:03:52.270 --> 00:03:55.909 sue let me say why i'm i'm saying grown up because 00:03:55.909 --> 00:03:59.889 men and women oftentimes operate from a fantasy 00:03:59.889 --> 00:04:02.990 perspective when it comes to human pair bonding 00:04:02.990 --> 00:04:07.439 or worse well actually Fantasy would be worse. 00:04:07.620 --> 00:04:10.960 The other is that chemistry equals relationship 00:04:10.960 --> 00:04:16.079 success. And sadly, we've adopted fantasy or 00:04:16.079 --> 00:04:19.420 chemistry equal relationship success as the barometer 00:04:19.420 --> 00:04:22.240 for who you're going to invest time in. And my 00:04:22.240 --> 00:04:24.740 vision is to be the wake up call. My vision is 00:04:24.740 --> 00:04:28.319 to scream at the top of my lungs. Look, first 00:04:28.319 --> 00:04:32.189 off, we are all emotionally messed up. It's just 00:04:32.189 --> 00:04:34.769 a matter of degrees for some people. But if you 00:04:34.769 --> 00:04:38.509 haven't worked on your own stuff, the idea that 00:04:38.509 --> 00:04:41.050 a relationship is going to heal that is going 00:04:41.050 --> 00:04:42.910 to be the furthest thing from the truth because 00:04:42.910 --> 00:04:45.730 it's going to trigger relationships. By the way, 00:04:45.810 --> 00:04:48.389 I think dating and relationships trigger the 00:04:48.389 --> 00:04:50.970 number one emotional health issue I think most 00:04:50.970 --> 00:04:53.670 people face. And that is I'm not good enough. 00:04:53.750 --> 00:04:58.470 I'm not lovable. I'm not likable. And so so my 00:04:58.470 --> 00:05:02.370 vision has always been to encourage. intentionality, 00:05:02.509 --> 00:05:06.189 to encourage discernment, and most importantly, 00:05:06.250 --> 00:05:09.269 to encourage self -love. Because when we operate 00:05:09.269 --> 00:05:13.509 as more of a sovereign being, we can show up 00:05:13.509 --> 00:05:17.209 to be in relationship in a more healthy way versus 00:05:17.209 --> 00:05:19.569 the unhealthy way most people have operated. 00:05:19.790 --> 00:05:22.509 So, I mean, and I can keep going. By the way, 00:05:22.529 --> 00:05:26.410 Sue, I can keep going. So, if you have any questions. 00:05:26.699 --> 00:05:29.660 within that i'm letting you this is incredible 00:05:29.660 --> 00:05:32.379 i feel like you have your work cut out for you 00:05:32.379 --> 00:05:36.420 jonathan there's so much i didn't realize these 00:05:36.420 --> 00:05:39.639 statistics but it makes sense and my goodness 00:05:39.639 --> 00:05:42.560 there's never been a time where we needed this 00:05:42.560 --> 00:05:44.779 a little bit more anybody who's out there trying 00:05:44.779 --> 00:05:49.019 to find you know another human to bond with and 00:05:49.019 --> 00:05:53.759 to pair off with it's it's crazy out there um 00:05:54.160 --> 00:05:56.100 And you sound like you might be the voice of 00:05:56.100 --> 00:05:59.459 sanity to help. Well, you know, it's interesting 00:05:59.459 --> 00:06:02.660 because unlike many of my contemporaries that, 00:06:02.740 --> 00:06:05.819 for lack of a better word, sell false hope, I'm 00:06:05.819 --> 00:06:09.160 kind of the Piper going, look. it's the hunger 00:06:09.160 --> 00:06:12.120 games out there it's a mess i mean we humans 00:06:12.120 --> 00:06:15.480 are radically dysfunctional but i don't know 00:06:15.480 --> 00:06:17.519 if you remember in the hunger games there's something 00:06:17.519 --> 00:06:21.120 about like they said um may the odds forever 00:06:21.120 --> 00:06:23.860 be in your favor and there and there were even 00:06:23.860 --> 00:06:25.959 little people there were people that could help 00:06:26.319 --> 00:06:29.139 put the odds in your favor well a really good 00:06:29.139 --> 00:06:33.879 coach a really good um mentor or confidant in 00:06:33.879 --> 00:06:36.439 your life can start putting the odds in your 00:06:36.439 --> 00:06:39.720 favor and the most important person is to recognize 00:06:39.720 --> 00:06:43.800 that it's not about finding another human being 00:06:43.800 --> 00:06:46.860 to to at least in my mind let me put it that 00:06:46.860 --> 00:06:50.420 way Your happiness shouldn't be predicated on 00:06:50.420 --> 00:06:53.439 finding someone to be partnered with because 00:06:53.439 --> 00:06:56.279 it really is about finding the relationship within 00:06:56.279 --> 00:06:58.660 yourself We can go to the mirror and have an 00:06:58.660 --> 00:07:01.600 amazing relationship with ourselves that can 00:07:01.600 --> 00:07:05.920 absolutely fulfill us Okay, but if you're seeking 00:07:05.920 --> 00:07:09.120 and a lot of people Unconsciously do this they 00:07:09.120 --> 00:07:12.459 seek relationships with other people to fulfill 00:07:12.459 --> 00:07:16.490 their life And what's the definition of insanity 00:07:16.490 --> 00:07:18.889 for a lot of people that's doing the same thing 00:07:18.889 --> 00:07:20.889 over and over again, expecting different results. 00:07:21.069 --> 00:07:23.870 So a person like myself that screams at the top 00:07:23.870 --> 00:07:25.689 of their lungs and saying, look in the mirror 00:07:25.689 --> 00:07:29.629 and work on your own stuff. My hope is my message, 00:07:29.709 --> 00:07:34.009 my vision is getting coming across as encouragement. 00:07:34.430 --> 00:07:37.350 And again, I can be very bombastic at times. 00:07:37.370 --> 00:07:40.610 I can be sarcastic. I can be righteous and all 00:07:40.610 --> 00:07:44.769 of this when I share. But what I think. My vision 00:07:44.769 --> 00:07:49.370 has been to really to encourage individuals to 00:07:49.370 --> 00:07:51.670 take personal empowerment within their lives, 00:07:51.769 --> 00:07:53.589 particularly in the area of dating relationships. 00:07:54.550 --> 00:07:56.670 How do you think that could change the world? 00:07:56.790 --> 00:07:58.790 Because it sure seems like it could. What happens 00:07:58.790 --> 00:08:03.209 if, you know, some double the number of people 00:08:03.209 --> 00:08:06.649 who act like they show up in the world like that? 00:08:06.750 --> 00:08:08.790 Like you're saying, taking personal responsibility 00:08:08.790 --> 00:08:11.209 and working on themselves first. What if that 00:08:11.209 --> 00:08:13.370 doubles? What would that be? What might happen 00:08:13.370 --> 00:08:16.230 in the world? No, that's an interesting question. 00:08:16.410 --> 00:08:20.110 I think globally. Well, OK, let me speak here 00:08:20.110 --> 00:08:22.430 in the United States because I can't really know 00:08:22.430 --> 00:08:25.370 other parts of the world. I do believe we are 00:08:25.370 --> 00:08:29.970 being called to emotionally, for lack of a better 00:08:29.970 --> 00:08:34.750 word, grow up. OK. And and unlike about 100 years 00:08:34.750 --> 00:08:39.049 ago, I'll say women in particular were very dependent 00:08:39.049 --> 00:08:42.190 upon men for survival. And thankfully, we've 00:08:42.190 --> 00:08:45.769 evolved to a space in humanity, at least again 00:08:45.769 --> 00:08:48.370 here in the United States, that women have their 00:08:48.370 --> 00:08:51.429 own empowerment. They are no longer in a space 00:08:51.429 --> 00:08:54.409 of dependency. And I think that's an amazing 00:08:54.409 --> 00:08:58.190 place to be. And so relationships are not so 00:08:58.190 --> 00:09:03.259 much about, you know. survival per se. And there 00:09:03.259 --> 00:09:05.639 is an element of certainly paying your bills 00:09:05.639 --> 00:09:07.220 and that sort of thing. I mean, that's important. 00:09:07.399 --> 00:09:10.279 And for some relationships, it might be that 00:09:10.279 --> 00:09:14.039 there's a hierarchy in that. But I think relationships 00:09:14.039 --> 00:09:18.679 nowadays, if it's no longer about survival, then 00:09:18.679 --> 00:09:23.220 it's really about emotional maturity to some 00:09:23.220 --> 00:09:28.029 degree. And I think we humans have weak emotional 00:09:28.029 --> 00:09:33.549 maturity and poor relationship skills. So if 00:09:33.549 --> 00:09:35.990 we have weak emotional maturity and poor relationship 00:09:35.990 --> 00:09:38.850 skills, it's one of the reasons why divorce rates 00:09:38.850 --> 00:09:43.129 for second and third marriages equal 65 to 75 00:09:43.129 --> 00:09:46.470 percent. OK, let's take the first marriage. But 00:09:46.470 --> 00:09:49.789 the second and third, that that tells us I believe 00:09:49.789 --> 00:09:52.470 that tells us that humans are not good at this. 00:09:52.850 --> 00:09:57.649 So. I mean, come on. I mean, you're right. We're 00:09:57.649 --> 00:10:00.710 not good at this. I mean, it's not good. Yeah. 00:10:00.870 --> 00:10:02.809 I mean, by the way, would you get on an airplane 00:10:02.809 --> 00:10:07.250 that had a 60, you know, a failure rate of 65 00:10:07.250 --> 00:10:13.149 to 75 percent? Not knowingly. Yeah. So so I think 00:10:13.149 --> 00:10:16.389 if it doubled, if and I'm I'm the reason why 00:10:16.389 --> 00:10:18.330 I'm talking about the second and third marriages. 00:10:19.080 --> 00:10:21.879 is because I speak to a demographic called midlife, 00:10:21.980 --> 00:10:24.659 which is after baby, what I say is after baby 00:10:24.659 --> 00:10:27.519 making years and before retirement. And roughly, 00:10:27.860 --> 00:10:32.080 and this is anecdotal, 75 % of people over 45, 00:10:32.200 --> 00:10:35.340 50 years old most likely are divorced if they're 00:10:35.340 --> 00:10:37.879 single. I mean, we have some widowers in there 00:10:37.879 --> 00:10:40.659 and we have some non -married. And that's anecdotal. 00:10:40.700 --> 00:10:42.620 I mean, that's not an absolute number. I don't 00:10:42.620 --> 00:10:48.440 think they've tracked it. If all of a sudden 00:10:48.440 --> 00:10:51.940 we improved, you know, on an emotional maturity 00:10:51.940 --> 00:10:56.379 level, on a relationships level, I think we would 00:10:56.379 --> 00:10:59.320 start to see a bit more joy and happiness because 00:10:59.320 --> 00:11:03.460 I believe it was Esther Perel who said the quality 00:11:03.460 --> 00:11:06.379 of our life is predicated by the quality of our 00:11:06.379 --> 00:11:10.940 relationships. And so you think about it, you 00:11:10.940 --> 00:11:13.039 can if you're in a miserable relationship, you're 00:11:13.039 --> 00:11:14.740 going to have a miserable life. If you're in 00:11:14.740 --> 00:11:16.460 a happy relationship, you're going to have a 00:11:16.460 --> 00:11:20.379 happy life. So so if we learn these skills, we 00:11:20.379 --> 00:11:23.519 would see a lot more joy from people. I think 00:11:23.519 --> 00:11:30.080 that's a beautiful vision. Bring it on. Well, 00:11:30.120 --> 00:11:32.019 let me ask you this question, and it kind of 00:11:32.019 --> 00:11:34.259 goes hand in hand, but it's a little bit different. 00:11:34.320 --> 00:11:37.360 What's your vision for your business? This is 00:11:37.360 --> 00:11:42.059 a huge mission that you're on. To move that slider 00:11:42.059 --> 00:11:45.240 a little bit further, to create that ripple effect 00:11:45.240 --> 00:11:47.299 that would go in from people having satisfying, 00:11:47.779 --> 00:11:52.659 deeply enjoyable, whole, healthy relationships, 00:11:52.840 --> 00:11:56.700 that would change a lot of things. But how about 00:11:56.700 --> 00:12:00.019 your vision for your actual business? So it's 00:12:00.019 --> 00:12:03.120 kind of interesting because I'm in a state of. 00:12:04.820 --> 00:12:07.559 What's the word I'm looking for? Reinvention. 00:12:07.960 --> 00:12:11.440 I'm in a I'm in a unique state. And I think it's 00:12:11.440 --> 00:12:13.600 I think it's important I share a little bit of 00:12:13.600 --> 00:12:17.779 my backstory to kind of give you a little inkling 00:12:17.779 --> 00:12:22.480 into where I think I'm going. So coming back 00:12:22.480 --> 00:12:27.350 to divorce 20 years ago, my now. uh ex -wife 00:12:27.350 --> 00:12:30.889 and i filed for divorce and and during that time 00:12:30.889 --> 00:12:33.830 i had lost my high -end corporate job literally 00:12:33.830 --> 00:12:36.730 the same month we had filed for divorce i lost 00:12:36.730 --> 00:12:39.389 my high -end corporate job and then shortly thereafter 00:12:39.389 --> 00:12:44.649 there was the market crash of 2008 and my identity 00:12:44.649 --> 00:12:49.190 was pummeled i mean my identity was pummeled 00:12:49.190 --> 00:12:52.690 and interesting enough uh besides drugs and alcohol 00:12:52.690 --> 00:12:56.669 online dating was my other drug of choice Unbeknownst 00:12:56.669 --> 00:13:00.190 to me, it prepared me for this for this evolution 00:13:00.190 --> 00:13:03.009 in my life of becoming a dating and relationship 00:13:03.009 --> 00:13:05.549 coach. And there's way more to that story. I 00:13:05.549 --> 00:13:09.730 can share it another time. And and I've been 00:13:09.730 --> 00:13:12.309 in the dating marketplace for the last, you know, 00:13:12.309 --> 00:13:16.549 up until the last 20 years or up until the last 00:13:16.549 --> 00:13:19.149 six months. I've been in the dating marketplace 00:13:19.149 --> 00:13:22.129 much like my clients, and I've had two significant 00:13:22.129 --> 00:13:25.070 relationships during that time that didn't work 00:13:25.070 --> 00:13:28.360 out. But I had a tremendous amount of growth 00:13:28.360 --> 00:13:31.879 emotionally. I had a tremendous amount of awakening 00:13:31.879 --> 00:13:36.240 to my own sovereignty, to my emotional maturity 00:13:36.240 --> 00:13:40.019 and my relationship skills. And now I find myself 00:13:40.019 --> 00:13:43.080 in what feels like for the first time in my life, 00:13:43.080 --> 00:13:45.940 a secure relationship. What I mean is I'm deeply 00:13:45.940 --> 00:13:49.480 care for someone. I'm very much in love. I believe 00:13:49.480 --> 00:13:53.429 she's in love with me. And I can. I know she 00:13:53.429 --> 00:13:55.809 is, but I just want to say it with a little reservation 00:13:55.809 --> 00:13:59.909 because she's not here sharing it. And I kind 00:13:59.909 --> 00:14:02.950 of achieved my goal. I think I for the last 20 00:14:02.950 --> 00:14:05.950 years, I've wanted that life partner. And now 00:14:05.950 --> 00:14:08.809 I have it. I'm like, you know, teaching about 00:14:08.809 --> 00:14:11.389 dating and relationships has a different tone 00:14:11.389 --> 00:14:13.830 to it because I was in the trenches with everybody 00:14:13.830 --> 00:14:16.929 else. And now I have what I want. And I'm like, 00:14:16.929 --> 00:14:19.330 well, then what do I really want for my life? 00:14:20.600 --> 00:14:22.820 And I've been wrestling with this. In fact, she 00:14:22.820 --> 00:14:24.820 and I just this past weekend, we're having it 00:14:24.820 --> 00:14:27.139 like, what do you really desire? What's your 00:14:27.139 --> 00:14:30.980 vision? Because for the longest time I taught 00:14:30.980 --> 00:14:34.419 from in the trenches and if I'm in a happy relationship. 00:14:35.139 --> 00:14:37.840 And then I've been sitting with something for 00:14:37.840 --> 00:14:40.460 a very long time. I started a membership program 00:14:40.460 --> 00:14:46.419 about eight years ago. And I realized that it 00:14:46.419 --> 00:14:50.470 didn't really take off the way I wanted. And 00:14:50.470 --> 00:14:53.230 because of it, I kind of didn't give the kind 00:14:53.230 --> 00:14:55.830 of attention that I'd hoped for. And the idea 00:14:55.830 --> 00:14:59.049 was to be able to share wisdom, to be able to 00:14:59.049 --> 00:15:04.610 speak from a place of experience at a relatively 00:15:04.610 --> 00:15:07.570 low entry point financially for people, because 00:15:07.570 --> 00:15:11.700 I've spent. tens and tens and tens of thousands 00:15:11.700 --> 00:15:14.620 of dollars on personal development, self -help, 00:15:14.620 --> 00:15:18.159 spiritual work and therapy, probably close to 00:15:18.159 --> 00:15:21.860 six figure number over the last 20 years. And 00:15:21.860 --> 00:15:24.980 I'm very grateful for the investment. But I know 00:15:24.980 --> 00:15:27.539 a lot of people don't have the resources to get 00:15:27.539 --> 00:15:30.980 that kind of help. And reading a book. And by 00:15:30.980 --> 00:15:32.980 the way, behind me, you can see a bunch of books. 00:15:33.019 --> 00:15:37.100 And this is just a small segment of my library. 00:15:38.090 --> 00:15:41.990 I believe there's so much wealth in books, but 00:15:41.990 --> 00:15:45.850 there's also the benefit of having a coach, having 00:15:45.850 --> 00:15:51.129 a mentor, having a confidant to help you. And 00:15:51.129 --> 00:15:53.730 yet for so many people, that's difficult to obtain. 00:15:53.909 --> 00:15:58.789 So I'm in the process of revamping my membership 00:15:58.789 --> 00:16:03.149 program so I can hit the key areas of life, loving 00:16:03.149 --> 00:16:07.799 yourself, loving other human beings. loving life. 00:16:08.039 --> 00:16:11.120 And that's kind of the umbrella I'm working towards. 00:16:11.240 --> 00:16:14.039 And I still don't even know the pieces of this 00:16:14.039 --> 00:16:18.940 puzzle yet. And I want to share with you about 00:16:18.940 --> 00:16:23.840 not quite a year ago, I was burnt out. I was 00:16:23.840 --> 00:16:26.539 just like, God, I am so burnt out on all of this. 00:16:26.600 --> 00:16:30.220 I feel like I'm pushing the boulder up the hill 00:16:30.220 --> 00:16:37.710 and just feeling really burnt out. And I felt 00:16:37.710 --> 00:16:40.570 a little bit of the pressure to perform. I felt 00:16:40.570 --> 00:16:43.629 the pressure to make money. I felt all this pressure 00:16:43.629 --> 00:16:47.649 because on some level, I don't want to say I 00:16:47.649 --> 00:16:51.409 stopped loving what I did, but I recognize that 00:16:51.409 --> 00:16:56.950 it's a real big behemoth to, let me reframe that. 00:16:57.470 --> 00:17:00.629 There's a lot of dysfunctionality in the world. 00:17:01.710 --> 00:17:04.710 even watching the news is so painful at times 00:17:04.710 --> 00:17:07.589 that i'm i'm struggling to watch the news and 00:17:07.589 --> 00:17:10.869 even watching my social media feeds uh can be 00:17:10.869 --> 00:17:14.829 draining and i reached a point where i'm like 00:17:14.829 --> 00:17:17.369 god you know i'm just i don't want to say i want 00:17:17.369 --> 00:17:20.210 to give up but i was just feeling burnout and 00:17:20.210 --> 00:17:24.329 but i i've been here before In fact, I've been 00:17:24.329 --> 00:17:27.049 here two or three times in my life in this same 00:17:27.049 --> 00:17:30.609 space. And in the past, I would literally be 00:17:30.609 --> 00:17:34.690 pushing the boulder up the hill. And yet things 00:17:34.690 --> 00:17:39.309 seem to work out. So I really began adopting 00:17:39.309 --> 00:17:46.369 a feeling of trust, of faith. And I don't mean 00:17:46.369 --> 00:17:48.769 blind trust or faith. You know, I don't want 00:17:48.769 --> 00:17:52.259 to make it just that. But really just faith in 00:17:52.259 --> 00:17:58.619 myself that an answer would reveal itself. And 00:17:58.619 --> 00:18:00.859 you've literally caught me at a moment in my 00:18:00.859 --> 00:18:04.619 life where these are starting to percolate in 00:18:04.619 --> 00:18:07.440 front of me. I've been feeling kind of down for 00:18:07.440 --> 00:18:10.039 a while, not depressed or anything like that, 00:18:10.059 --> 00:18:14.079 but just not my excited self. But a few things 00:18:14.079 --> 00:18:17.119 just literally, literally, even in the last few 00:18:17.119 --> 00:18:20.809 days, things have been percolating. And I'm just 00:18:20.809 --> 00:18:25.309 in a place of trust that I can birth something 00:18:25.309 --> 00:18:29.170 new. And my my vision is to make a difference 00:18:29.170 --> 00:18:32.849 in people's lives. My my vision is to, you know, 00:18:32.849 --> 00:18:36.329 help someone say. I really love getting my I 00:18:36.329 --> 00:18:38.630 love getting messages through my social media. 00:18:38.789 --> 00:18:41.009 You made a difference in my life. You made a 00:18:41.009 --> 00:18:44.029 difference in my life. And that fuels me a little 00:18:44.029 --> 00:18:46.410 vanity in there a little bit. I'm going to be 00:18:46.410 --> 00:18:49.589 candid, but it fuels me to know that something 00:18:49.589 --> 00:18:52.589 I said and I'm even I hoping this conversation, 00:18:52.809 --> 00:18:57.049 you know, person goes, God, I mean, you're encouraging 00:18:57.049 --> 00:19:02.589 me to to step outside of my comfort zone. And. 00:19:02.910 --> 00:19:06.390 there was a quote i heard 20 years ago it's a 00:19:06.390 --> 00:19:09.650 walt disney quote and it's it's it's rather simple 00:19:09.650 --> 00:19:13.250 it's only three words but it's it's been the 00:19:13.250 --> 00:19:15.509 driving force in my life and it's just simply 00:19:15.509 --> 00:19:19.670 it's keep moving forward and i know that's so 00:19:19.670 --> 00:19:22.049 simple and for some people might seem trivial 00:19:22.049 --> 00:19:25.349 but there's just something about just even one 00:19:25.349 --> 00:19:28.069 little step forward in whatever you're doing 00:19:28.069 --> 00:19:32.960 one little step Can start to start that snowball 00:19:32.960 --> 00:19:37.099 effect. And and so that's kind of been my mantra 00:19:37.099 --> 00:19:40.859 is just keep moving forward. Keep with this vision 00:19:40.859 --> 00:19:45.000 of making a difference in people's lives. I love 00:19:45.000 --> 00:19:47.119 that. I think that is so exciting. There's so 00:19:47.119 --> 00:19:51.039 much room for. what this could turn into who 00:19:51.039 --> 00:19:53.539 knows you know but having that driving passion 00:19:53.539 --> 00:19:56.420 to to make an impact in people's lives and this 00:19:56.420 --> 00:19:58.980 deep body of knowledge and expertise that you've 00:19:58.980 --> 00:20:02.359 built in an area that people are really hurting 00:20:02.359 --> 00:20:07.099 i can't wait to see what happens next we're definitely 00:20:07.099 --> 00:20:09.319 going to have to continue this conversation for 00:20:09.319 --> 00:20:13.140 sure you know it's interesting i i have a 29 00:20:13.140 --> 00:20:17.740 year old son and um and i've i've encouraged 00:20:17.740 --> 00:20:23.849 him to To seek me as his wise counsel. For the 00:20:23.849 --> 00:20:26.650 last decade, I've been and he's always been good 00:20:26.650 --> 00:20:31.450 about seeking advice from me. But I've noticed 00:20:31.450 --> 00:20:35.089 that he doesn't come to dad anymore like he used 00:20:35.089 --> 00:20:40.109 to. And and and I happen to personally know two 00:20:40.109 --> 00:20:44.789 other people that he seeks counsel from one. 00:20:45.400 --> 00:20:50.839 a clinical psychologist who encouraged him to 00:20:50.839 --> 00:20:53.200 get his doctoral program and my son just started 00:20:53.200 --> 00:20:56.220 his doctoral program to become a clinical psychologist 00:20:56.220 --> 00:20:59.700 and then another is his his boss who runs an 00:20:59.700 --> 00:21:02.740 intervention company my son works within the 00:21:02.740 --> 00:21:06.700 organization and both men I've I've recently 00:21:06.700 --> 00:21:09.799 just seen them physically we live near each other 00:21:10.569 --> 00:21:14.650 And I said to them both separately, I go, I can't 00:21:14.650 --> 00:21:18.890 begin to tell you how much I appreciate the guidance, 00:21:18.970 --> 00:21:24.069 the care, the love you give to my son. And they're 00:21:24.069 --> 00:21:27.069 both like, you have a great kid, even though 00:21:27.069 --> 00:21:30.809 he's a man. In my eyes, he's still a kid. But 00:21:30.809 --> 00:21:33.609 you've got a great son and we love helping him. 00:21:34.630 --> 00:21:40.079 Why I'm sharing this is we all, I... I completely 00:21:40.079 --> 00:21:43.980 believe that we all could use a good confidant 00:21:43.980 --> 00:21:46.619 or two or three in our lives. I mean, a really 00:21:46.619 --> 00:21:51.559 good, solid mentor confidant in our lives because 00:21:51.559 --> 00:21:55.880 we, you know, this thing called life isn't like 00:21:55.880 --> 00:21:58.940 we, I mean, there isn't necessarily a book per 00:21:58.940 --> 00:22:01.779 se. Some people would say the Bible's the roadmap. 00:22:02.380 --> 00:22:04.779 And to that degree, if that works for them, that's 00:22:04.779 --> 00:22:06.980 great. But this thing called life is not easy 00:22:06.980 --> 00:22:10.619 to navigate. and going to people who are a little 00:22:10.619 --> 00:22:14.079 bit older a little bit wiser and and that's what 00:22:14.079 --> 00:22:16.740 i feel like i am i've been around the block a 00:22:16.740 --> 00:22:21.400 few times and i like to share wisdom in that 00:22:21.400 --> 00:22:25.079 confident kind of way because when we have a 00:22:25.079 --> 00:22:27.740 confident in our life we feel safer to open up 00:22:27.740 --> 00:22:30.900 on the sometimes things that bring us down and 00:22:30.900 --> 00:22:33.859 i'd say my other vision is to encourage people 00:22:33.859 --> 00:22:38.200 to open up because if you stuff it all in It's 00:22:38.200 --> 00:22:41.000 going to that's where disease comes from. And 00:22:41.000 --> 00:22:43.640 if we can and I and I know you're the same as 00:22:43.640 --> 00:22:46.500 I am. You know, if we can encourage that opening 00:22:46.500 --> 00:22:51.440 up that that place of growth, I think people 00:22:51.440 --> 00:22:54.720 will live more fulfilled lives. I think you're 00:22:54.720 --> 00:22:56.880 right, Jonathan. That's so cool. All right. Where 00:22:56.880 --> 00:22:59.619 can people find out more about you and working 00:22:59.619 --> 00:23:01.980 with you? By the way, I had to write something 00:23:01.980 --> 00:23:04.819 down. That's why I looked down. I wanted to write 00:23:04.819 --> 00:23:08.059 something. So where you can find me, my name 00:23:08.059 --> 00:23:10.319 is listed here, Jonathan Asley. You can cut and 00:23:10.319 --> 00:23:12.480 paste that, put it in Google. The first thing 00:23:12.480 --> 00:23:14.779 that will come up is my YouTube channel. I'm 00:23:14.779 --> 00:23:17.440 very proud. I have over 200 ,000 subscribers 00:23:17.440 --> 00:23:20.319 on my YouTube channel sharing about relationships. 00:23:20.480 --> 00:23:23.640 I have a couple sub channels related for helping 00:23:23.640 --> 00:23:27.200 in different facets of your life. Certainly my 00:23:27.200 --> 00:23:30.859 website, JonathanAsley .com. is listed there 00:23:30.859 --> 00:23:34.339 my social media pages and you can go to amazon 00:23:34.339 --> 00:23:37.259 to get my book it's right behind me called what 00:23:37.259 --> 00:23:39.940 the heck is self -love anyway a journey of personal 00:23:39.940 --> 00:23:42.660 development self -help spiritual work and encouraging 00:23:42.660 --> 00:23:48.819 therapy for those that um want if if i i believe 00:23:48.819 --> 00:23:52.539 we're all seeking a level of inner peace and 00:23:53.200 --> 00:23:56.180 And emotional health is one of the greatest challenges 00:23:56.180 --> 00:23:58.359 we're faced with. And if we can work on ourselves 00:23:58.359 --> 00:24:00.980 a little bit each day, you'd be surprised how 00:24:00.980 --> 00:24:04.039 life can be better once we take personal responsibility 00:24:04.039 --> 00:24:07.339 for our choices. I love that. Thank you so much 00:24:07.339 --> 00:24:10.119 for being here. That's fantastic. My pleasure. 00:24:10.240 --> 00:24:12.829 Thank you. Thank you for being here today. I'm 00:24:12.829 --> 00:24:14.569 really happy that you tuned in to Vision Pros 00:24:14.569 --> 00:24:17.529 Live. I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions 00:24:17.529 --> 00:24:20.170 as these episodes continue to move forward. This 00:24:20.170 --> 00:24:22.069 is going to get more and more fun. We'll have 00:24:22.069 --> 00:24:23.869 more and more engagement as well. We'll invite 00:24:23.869 --> 00:24:26.289 people to participate in the show. And thank 00:24:26.289 --> 00:24:28.269 you for giving us your time and attention. Have 00:24:28.269 --> 00:24:30.930 an excellent time building out your vision and 00:24:30.930 --> 00:24:31.990 becoming a vision pro yourself.