Hey, everybody. Welcome to another episode of
Vision Pros Live. I'm your host and coach, Fletcher
Ellingson. And today on the show, we have Yogi
Mueller. And Yogi is a author, speaker, mentor,
and has written the book called The Great Slapping,
which I think is such a great title. We're going
to find out what that exactly means. But Yogi,
first off, welcome to the show. Fletcher, thank
you so much. It's truly an honor. I'm looking
forward to this. right on hey i like to start
out with a win because there's a lot of suffering
going on in the world uh personal suffering global
suffering communal suffering let's start with
something that does feel good what's what's going
well in your life professionally or personally
well i'll tell you uh you know you mentioned
the the book that was my first book and uh i
was uh released by my company because of an acquisition
last year And, you know, freed up to pursue my
entrepreneurial dreams. And I'm like, well, you
know what? I want to do something with my time
that I was given. And I made that call that I'm
going to write a book. And just over a year later,
I have it. So people say, was it like birthing
a baby? I have no empathy. I have no understanding
of what that truly is like. However, yes, it
was. And, you know, to be able to say that I
set out to do something and accomplish it within
the time frame I was looking for. That's a huge
win for me personally and professionally. Yeah.
So, yeah, rock and roll. Really kind of living
on that high right now. Right on. Congratulations.
Thank you so much. And I can relate to that.
I published my first book a couple years ago.
And, yes, to declare, to speak into the physical
realm, I'm going to write a book and then actually
follow through. through all the uh ups and downs
of that process which are many uh it is not a
sexy ride that's for sure exactly right i mean
you really come up against yourself and learn
some things absolutely yeah so so well done thank
you um the great slapping i mean just kind of
i mean it's such a curious title you gotta you
gotta let us in on it um what does what is the
great slapping So The Great Slapping is about
the power of mentorship. It's about those individuals
that you've had in your life. And I know, Fletcher,
if you think back over your career, you've got
a few of them that saw more in you than you saw
in yourself at that time, whether you were unwilling
to see it or unable to see it. And they were
trying to push you. And eventually it might have
gotten to the point where they literally grabbed
you by the shoulders. shook you a little bit
and with a proverbial backhand said stop it or
go in this direction and the reason I call it
the great slapping is because the jolt of reality
that kind of moment of okay that feedback hurt
there was a little bit of pain but then comes
the clarity after some of those slaps and and
to me that's the power of mentorship I in in
the book I tell stories of when I received the
slapping and when I've had to deliver it as a
mentor And if you've got a great relationship
with that individual, you know that that pain
was delivered with love and an insane amount
of passion and investing in you and your development.
This is such a great message. I really hope our
audience is paying attention to this. This is
it is so significant when we have that person
in our life to deliver that that slap. Right.
Yeah, I've had. Several of those opportunities
in my life where I and I was I was the person
who was got to slapping. Right. And yes, uncomfortable.
For sure. Very uncomfortable. But it was the
catalyst I needed for that next level of growth.
So very intriguing concept. So next question
for you, Yogi. What's your vision? This is called
Vision Pros Live. What is your vision? Well,
it really has been filtered by the lens of the
content of the book that I've been writing for
the last year. My vision was part of why I wrote
it. And that's because I fear for the future
of mentorship in our society. And that's dangerous,
honestly, because I see the experience going
in this direction and the inexperience, the young.
going in this direction and what's in the middle
technology patience for one another um an inability
to receive constructive feedback and not see
it as an attack versus an investment and i think
those things if we don't get a handle on it that's
the problem and somebody says well you know why
do you need a mentor when you can go to chat
gpt and type and type a question you're going
to get an answer I said, yeah, absolutely. The
algorithm is going to get you an answer to whatever
you want, whatever you put in there. But it's
not going to give you the answer because they
believe in you. They see your potential. They
see your mistakes. You know, anytime Chachi Peek's
answer is that you're God's gift to everything
and they just butter you up. Well, a good mentor
is not going to do that. And that's where we
need to get back to in a lot of areas. And this
is why the call to action is, yeah, get a mentor.
Be a mentee. We need to save the practice and
ensure that that time, time honored traditions.
And I've got references back to Greek mythology.
We need to continue it or we're going to be just
as automated as cat GPT is. Yeah. So you're seeing
one demographic go this way. The younger demographic
go this way. And like you, what you're saying,
if I'm understanding you is there's a disconnect.
And in the middle is this technology, but that
can't really bridge the gap in a very meaningful
way. Is that accurate? That's correct. I think
if you look at mentorship holistically, it is
filled with nuance. And that, whether it's facial
expressions, whether it's, you know, understanding
your true potential, understanding, you know,
where your personal opportunities are. you're
not going to necessarily get that from technology.
Now, we could talk AI, but we could also talk
delivery of methodologies, right? The impatience
of certain groups to not want to just text with
somebody else. or why can't they have a phone
call why can't they have a facetime conversation
or a personal conversation and then the other
groups are well why don't they just work with
me why don't they find a happy ground why do
i need to be in the same room with somebody to
have a conversation with them and traditional
versus new i guess is is kind of an age -old
argument there and we just need to find those
bridges for everybody right now some people have
found a way to get across and others We don't.
And honestly, Fletcher, I think one of the worst
things that we can propagate is potential unrealized.
To me, that hits at the core. You know, I mentioned
in my book, like, you know, if we're not reaching
a person in their 20s and really kind of helping
them navigate things, because, you know, you
hear people in the Gen Z, a lot of them feel
alone. A lot of them feel that they're the most
connected but disconnected generation. We can
help with that. We just, when I say we, the more
experienced, the gray hair here, we have experience
that we can share. But if we don't have the patience
to find that middle ground too, that's a problem
as well. So that's what I'm seeing. It's a divergence.
I don't see a full, complete split. However,
if that divergence continues, the fabric is going
to tear. Yeah, yeah. You're seeing that trajectory.
You're seeing that pattern play out. And I like
your analogy there. Yeah, the fabric will tear.
And then when that happens, yeah, then you've
got a real crisis on your hand. There's a real
division at that point. So I love this conversation.
I'm a huge fan of mentorship. I'm a mentor myself.
I'm in an official capacity with a high school
student. It is invaluable. It's so important.
The difference that a person can make in another
person's life is incredible just an hour to a
week. It is when a young person has an opportunity
to and is open to learning, right? huge potential
there. I'll give you just a quick example. With
this particular person I'm mentoring, hardworking
individual, has some struggles in school and
zero knowledge about finances. Hardworking, has
a job, but blows all his money right away. So
as a result, of our conversation about finance,
I realized like what he really wants to do is
be an entrepreneur and have wealth. But he has
zero head knowledge about it. So we started talking
about opening up a bank account, investing, opening
up an E -Trade account. And his eyes just like
got so big when he began to see what is possible,
right? And just a simple conversation like that
could change the trajectory of an individual's
life. And I'm not taking the credit for that.
I'm just saying that that's what's possible when
we open ourselves up to relating to people in
this manner. Now, first of all, I knew that you
were impacted by mentorship, both as a recipient
and a purveyor of it. And this happens a lot
when I talk about the book or I get messages
from readers. They read it. And I can see your
Rolodex going, right? I can see you reviewing
those relationships that you had and that you're
currently at and the impact that that was created.
So absolutely knew you were somebody rooted there.
I think you hit it right on the nose when it
comes to that accountability, that self -accountability
piece, opening yourself up to learning. You know,
one of the things that I created is what we call
the embrace the grit mindset or the grit. And
I have a grit index assessment. And it stands
for get over yourself, reassess with honesty,
invest in improvement, and treasure the lessons
of growth. Because I think fundamentally, that's
where you need to start. You have to work with
somebody. And this goes for mentors as well.
That is open to feedback. That does understand
that even though it slaps, there's always a kernel
of truth in every piece of feedback. And if you're
not open to it, I'm throwing darts at a wall
that doesn't even have the board, right? And
I'm just kind of wasting my time. Right. But
I love what you said. It doesn't take a lot of
investment. It just takes maybe just a brief
moment of time. I'm going to share a story from
the book. I was teaching grad school and I had
a young young man in my class. I'm young. He
was probably 26, 27. He was more established.
Smartest kid I knew. And he was so passionate
and had so much potential. But he would show
up to late work or show up to class late. He
was sloppy. He didn't turn in assignments. And
I never saw him apply that potential that was
so palpably obvious in him. So I pulled him aside
one day, and I basically laid into him. I said,
what the hell are you doing? You are smart. You're
creative. You're talented, blah, blah, blah.
And I just went off on him. And I said, why?
You have so much value. Why aren't you bringing
it to the table? And this 27 -year -old kid or
so starts crying. I felt horrible, right? But
he was like. Nobody has ever told me that. It
was a gut punch, Fletcher. Absolute gut punch.
His teachers, his guidance counselors, even his
parents either told him physically that he was
worth, he was not going to accomplish anything,
or just the way that he treated, he internalized
that. And you talk about that roadblock that
that potential hit, it was just that one comment
literally can change the trajectory of somebody's
life. Yeah. A lot of power. A lot of power. So
much power, right? Yeah. Words matter. And our
willingness to step up and offer feedback is
so important. And I want to bring one distinction
to this conversation because I really appreciate
that conversation you had with that young man.
Frequently, we are reluctant to provide. authentic
feedback because of a conversation in our head
which is oh that might offend them that might
hurt their feelings i don't know if they can
handle that and and the point that i want to
make is what we're doing is we're making that
person small we've we've decided we've decided
that they can't handle it and that's a huge disservice
Instead of thinking, you know what? This person
could benefit potentially from this feedback
and I'm going to trust that they can handle it.
And I'm going to trust that we can have that
conversation and that something good will come
of it. Right. Both are stories in our head. Right.
And it's just and which one do you want to focus
on? You know, I think that that's one of the
reasons why I fear. Right. Because there's this
general and I'm generalizing here. Right. But
there is this overlay where people are offended
easily these days and they take things as attack
and they take it as personal. And so I can see
somebody with that apprehension about not wanting
to share that because you might get a full volley
back at you. And it definitely wasn't intended.
Right. I think. One of the things I talk about
is the foundations of mentorship. And that is,
first and foremost, trust. That if that trust
doesn't exist, you're not going to get that dialectic
conversation with an open understanding that
this person is investing in me. Yeah. And that
comes with relationships. So one of the next
kind of phase I'm working through is the difference
between coach and a mentor. And I think mentor
is a loaded word. And it comes with a lot of
baggage that not might just intimidate the mentees.
It might intimidate people that really could
be mentors as well because of all the loaded
emotional side that mentorship has. And so I'm
going to campaign right now to if companies are
starting mentorship programs, maybe don't call
that that. Because about 70 percent of all mentorship
programs and organizations fail within the first
year. And I'm kind of working through some of
that. So I 100 percent agree with you that that
fear, that apprehension of listening to the feedback
or even delivering it is part of that divide
that's ripping the fabric of this. We need to
find we need to find that solution. Yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely. And like you said, yeah, establish
trust. you know like work on work on always you
know lead with um a way of being that allows
for people to trust you and people are willing
to trust us when they feel heard supported and
they feel safe absolutely 100 right yeah and
yeah and it's okay so then you're absolutely
right so what then has to happen is the more
traditional communicators need to figure out
a way the less or the nuanced communicators right
Because face -to -face communication, and again,
I'm being very general, tends to be threatening,
tends to be overloaded or way too much input
for that person to process. So we need to figure
out a way to do that to bridge that gap. And
that's part of the technology divide. Yeah, yeah.
I'm going to switch gears a little bit because
people listening to this conversation, they might
think, yeah, there's value in this. the mentor
-mentee relationship, but I don't think I have
any skills to offer as a mentor. Could you address
that concern that people might be thinking in
their head? Absolutely. So one of my early readers
of the book messaged me and said, I never considered
myself a mentor until I read your book. And I've
known this person for a long time. And I said,
do you realize that you were a Girl Scout leader
for 15 years and you work with these girls since
they were like eight? And now most of them have
gone on to be, you know, the full time permanent
Girl Scouts. And I said, you weren't just teaching
them how to sell cookies. You were you. They
would call you if they needed life advice. They
would call you for your experience. You slap
them often. Not just within the constraints of
Girl Scouts, but you became somebody that was
important to them outside of that structure.
You believed in them. You invested in them, not
because you had some sort of pin that said you
were a Girl Scout leader. You gave them this
information. You educated. You developed them
because you believed in them. And my oldest daughter,
I count as one of her mentees. because she played
such an important part in her development and
i said don't ever diminish your thinking and
where you were and she said well i always thought
mentors were something in a business where it
was like structured and it was all about uh you
know getting this person ready for this other
position i said no so yeah there are people out
there that have been mentors but don't have the
the the understanding to open themselves up to
yes yes they were right yeah and and i also kind
of demystified a little bit because like i said
mentorship is a loaded word and it's scary for
some people because it requires emotional investment
in there but you know the bottom line fletcher
is is if you you know if you see a seed that
you know is going to be a giant tree one day
you can't tell that seed to grow you can't make
it grow You've got to create the scenario around
it, the soil, the water, the nutrients, the sunlight,
whatever it is, in order for it to fully get
to where you want to be. And that's where mentorship
comes in. I like the phrase happiness is planting
a seed of a tree whose shade you will never enjoy.
And that's what gets me up every morning. That's
cool. I haven't heard that before. That's neat.
Happiness is planting a seed of a tree whose
shade you will never enjoy. yeah and you hinted
at it too with the finance you're not looking
to make money off of your your mentees you are
investing in them and they're they might make
a million dollars one day and you might be dead
but that's not the reason why you're doing it
right right yeah yeah good stuff hey uh we're
coming up towards the end of our conversation
here uh and i'm really appreciating and feel
enthusiastic about the the message that's right
that's right um boy if you've ever thought about
becoming a mentor i want to encourage you if
you're listening to this yeah really bring a
spotlight to that And consider it. You likely
have something of value to offer. I believe that
we all do. We've all lived a unique experience
in our lifetime. You have something to offer
this world. Step into that. Embrace it. Own it.
Be open to it. It may be the very thing that's
going to make a big difference in someone else's
life. You can change a life. Yeah, yeah. Pretty
exciting. Yogi, if people want to find out more
about The Great Slapping, again, I love that
title. Where can they reach out to you, get a
copy of the book and learn more about what you're
offering? Oh, thank you. Well, you can go to
craftleadership .net, which not only has links
to buy the book in an e -book, Amazon, Barnes
& Noble, places like that. But it also has a
link to the grit index assessment to really kind
of understand where's your ability to listen
and do do work with feedback on there. And that
that would be a kind of a one stop shop there.
Right on. Right on. OK. Thanks so much for being
on the show today. I'm your host and coach, Fletcher
Ellingson. Thanks for joining us here on Vision
Pros. Now it's your turn to get out there. Be
a source of kindness. Be a source of contribution.
You do have something to offer this world. And
I believe in you. Thank you for being here today.
I'm really happy that you tuned in to Vision
Pros Live. I'm looking forward to seeing your
reactions as these episodes continue to move
forward. This is going to get more and more fun.
We'll have more and more engagement as well.
We'll invite people to participate in the show.
And thank you for giving us your time and attention.
Have an excellent time building out your vision
and becoming a vision pro yourself.