WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.980 Tell me about your vision. Oh, my gosh, my vision. 00:00:03.540 --> 00:00:06.519 You know, my vision, my big, giant, giant, giant 00:00:06.519 --> 00:00:10.240 vision is to set the world free from fear. So 00:00:10.240 --> 00:00:13.480 that's my big vision. Tell me more about that. 00:00:14.759 --> 00:00:17.219 You know, you and I both know, as most people 00:00:17.219 --> 00:00:19.920 know, that fear is the number one culprit for 00:00:19.920 --> 00:00:23.379 us. the reason why we don't build our businesses, 00:00:23.539 --> 00:00:26.239 why we don't fall in love, why we don't start 00:00:26.239 --> 00:00:29.600 a business, why we don't like ourselves, why 00:00:29.600 --> 00:00:33.719 we don't get divorced. I mean, there's so many 00:00:33.719 --> 00:00:38.450 things that... fear does to keep us small, stuck, 00:00:38.490 --> 00:00:41.789 and the same in order to keep us safe because 00:00:41.789 --> 00:00:44.070 that's what fear's job is. So unless you know 00:00:44.070 --> 00:00:46.570 how fear actually works rather than just having 00:00:46.570 --> 00:00:48.450 a concept of fear or just a feeling of fear, 00:00:48.590 --> 00:00:51.049 once you understand how the concept of fear works, 00:00:51.250 --> 00:00:52.810 I've created something called the Wheel of Fear 00:00:52.810 --> 00:00:55.270 and the Wheel of Freedom, you're going to keep 00:00:55.270 --> 00:00:58.039 getting tricked by fear. And it's going to sound 00:00:58.039 --> 00:01:00.380 reasonable. It's going to sound smart. And it's 00:01:00.380 --> 00:01:01.659 going to, you know, other people are going to 00:01:01.659 --> 00:01:03.420 be like, yes, that's a really good idea not to 00:01:03.420 --> 00:01:06.680 do. So my whole thing is, what would the world 00:01:06.680 --> 00:01:10.319 look like if we actually were all living from 00:01:10.319 --> 00:01:12.519 what I call the essential nature from the authentic 00:01:12.519 --> 00:01:15.200 part of you and living the life that you were 00:01:15.200 --> 00:01:17.040 actually meant to live, live the life your soul 00:01:17.040 --> 00:01:18.780 intended? Like, what would the world be like? 00:01:20.480 --> 00:01:24.260 Wow. Tell me more about that. I would love to 00:01:24.260 --> 00:01:28.829 hear. if you go deeper into this concept? Well, 00:01:28.870 --> 00:01:30.310 I've created something called the wheel of fear 00:01:30.310 --> 00:01:32.670 and the wheel of freedom. And for me personally, 00:01:32.890 --> 00:01:35.109 when I created the wheel of fear and the wheel 00:01:35.109 --> 00:01:37.349 of freedom, it changed my life because what it 00:01:37.349 --> 00:01:39.629 did is it took away the guilt and the shame of 00:01:39.629 --> 00:01:43.709 my behavior. And instead of blaming me for procrastinating, 00:01:43.730 --> 00:01:46.489 blaming me for people pleasing, blaming me for 00:01:46.489 --> 00:01:48.930 anxiety, blaming me for beating myself up, blaming 00:01:48.930 --> 00:01:52.069 me for everything, I could start seeing it as 00:01:52.069 --> 00:01:55.159 a mechanism. And that beating myself up, blaming, 00:01:55.420 --> 00:01:57.900 et cetera, people pleasing, procrastinating, 00:01:57.939 --> 00:02:01.739 et cetera, whatever it is that you do, that was 00:02:01.739 --> 00:02:04.480 just a mechanism for fear to keep me safe. It 00:02:04.480 --> 00:02:07.500 was just the way that fear was using that behavior 00:02:07.500 --> 00:02:10.439 that I had bought into, that I had said yes to. 00:02:11.129 --> 00:02:14.050 to keep me the same so that I would, like I said, 00:02:14.050 --> 00:02:15.889 be physically safe slash emotionally safe. And 00:02:15.889 --> 00:02:18.169 that's one of the tricks. Most people think of 00:02:18.169 --> 00:02:20.129 fear. When I say I do fearless living, they're 00:02:20.129 --> 00:02:22.229 like, oh, I'm afraid of snakes or I'm afraid 00:02:22.229 --> 00:02:25.389 of speaking in public, right? And those are physical 00:02:25.389 --> 00:02:27.629 fears, right? We have physical fears of heights 00:02:27.629 --> 00:02:31.090 or snakes. And that's what people usually think 00:02:31.090 --> 00:02:33.949 when they hear about fear. But there's a whole 00:02:33.949 --> 00:02:36.229 other aspect of fear that actually influences 00:02:36.229 --> 00:02:38.909 us way more, which is our emotional fears, our 00:02:38.909 --> 00:02:40.689 fear of rejection, our fear of fear. Our fear 00:02:40.689 --> 00:02:42.629 of failure, our fear of success, our fear of 00:02:42.629 --> 00:02:45.229 loss, our fear of the unknown, right? Our fear 00:02:45.229 --> 00:02:48.530 of seen as lazy, fear of worthlessness, right? 00:02:48.590 --> 00:02:51.550 So all of these fears actually influence minute 00:02:51.550 --> 00:02:55.389 by minute in our day. And unless we can see that. 00:02:55.949 --> 00:02:58.729 It will run our lives. It will micromanage us 00:02:58.729 --> 00:03:01.129 so much that we actually think that's who we 00:03:01.129 --> 00:03:02.550 are. We actually think that's our personality. 00:03:02.710 --> 00:03:05.449 We actually think that is what we are meant to 00:03:05.449 --> 00:03:08.990 do. So unless we can see fear for what it is, 00:03:09.030 --> 00:03:10.930 like take it and put it up on a board and go, 00:03:11.009 --> 00:03:13.310 okay, that's how fear works. Okay. Wheel of fear 00:03:13.310 --> 00:03:15.330 has four components. It's got the core trigger. 00:03:15.569 --> 00:03:17.530 It's got the fear responses. It's got the core 00:03:17.530 --> 00:03:19.069 negative feelings. It's got self -destructive. 00:03:19.110 --> 00:03:21.990 Okay. And then plot yours out, actually see it 00:03:21.990 --> 00:03:25.219 in motion. it's going to keep tricking you because 00:03:25.219 --> 00:03:27.340 fear is as smart as you are as educated as you 00:03:27.340 --> 00:03:29.400 are spiritual as you are as knowledgeable as 00:03:29.400 --> 00:03:31.099 you are it's going to use everything against 00:03:31.099 --> 00:03:34.319 you because fear is how we are wired so we must 00:03:34.319 --> 00:03:36.639 transcend fear if we actually want to like i 00:03:36.639 --> 00:03:39.360 said live the life our soul intended so my whole 00:03:39.360 --> 00:03:42.319 thing is how many people can actually find their 00:03:42.319 --> 00:03:44.719 wheel of fear and i'm actually creating a quiz 00:03:44.719 --> 00:03:46.520 to help people do that it's going to be coming 00:03:46.520 --> 00:03:49.569 out shortly So that you can find that core fear 00:03:49.569 --> 00:03:51.650 of yours so you can start seeing your behavior 00:03:51.650 --> 00:03:53.590 through a different lens. Because neuroscience 00:03:53.590 --> 00:03:55.750 says that the only way we can change our lives 00:03:55.750 --> 00:03:58.849 is through changing our perception. So it's not 00:03:58.849 --> 00:04:01.090 just changing our mind, it's changing our perception. 00:04:01.490 --> 00:04:03.469 And so you're either looking through the wheel 00:04:03.469 --> 00:04:05.530 of fear, that's your perception, or you're looking 00:04:05.530 --> 00:04:07.250 through the wheel of freedom. And I want you 00:04:07.250 --> 00:04:10.389 to know the difference. So let's assume someone 00:04:10.389 --> 00:04:13.930 has gone through the cycle and identified their... 00:04:15.240 --> 00:04:16.819 their triggers, their points, and all of the 00:04:16.819 --> 00:04:18.720 four things that you touched on, right? Then 00:04:18.720 --> 00:04:21.420 what's the next step? To find your wheel of freedom. 00:04:21.920 --> 00:04:25.399 So the wheel of freedom was created. That's basically 00:04:25.399 --> 00:04:27.959 the way out of the wheel of fear. So the wheel 00:04:27.959 --> 00:04:30.560 of fear is the core trigger, the thing that triggers 00:04:30.560 --> 00:04:32.379 you more than anything else. And trust me, you 00:04:32.379 --> 00:04:34.019 don't know what it is. Everybody goes like, I 00:04:34.019 --> 00:04:36.160 know what mine is. Mine is lazy or mine is stupid. 00:04:36.220 --> 00:04:37.620 It's like, trust me, if you know it, you don't 00:04:37.620 --> 00:04:40.519 have it. Because the fear does not want to be 00:04:40.519 --> 00:04:42.759 found because if it is found, it can't save you, 00:04:42.779 --> 00:04:45.439 right? It can't support you. So anywhere on that 00:04:45.439 --> 00:04:47.600 wheel of fear, those four components, you can 00:04:47.600 --> 00:04:49.620 get off the wheel of fear. So you can do it while 00:04:49.620 --> 00:04:51.699 you're in the middle of a fear response, i .e. 00:04:51.720 --> 00:04:53.519 you're feeling blaming yourself, judging yourself, 00:04:53.959 --> 00:04:56.579 disempowering yourself, procrastinating, et cetera. 00:04:56.680 --> 00:04:58.540 The minute you start noticing it, you can jump 00:04:58.540 --> 00:05:00.319 off onto the wheel of freedom. Or you can get 00:05:00.319 --> 00:05:01.920 down to the core negative feeling, that feeling 00:05:01.920 --> 00:05:04.060 that you do not want to feel. Because again, 00:05:04.160 --> 00:05:06.259 we have feelings that you and I do not want to 00:05:06.259 --> 00:05:07.620 feel. And that is our core negative feeling. 00:05:08.000 --> 00:05:09.860 And then, of course, our self -destructive, which 00:05:09.860 --> 00:05:11.800 you and I know, we know our self -destructive 00:05:11.800 --> 00:05:14.199 behaviors. We know when we go off the rails. 00:05:14.439 --> 00:05:16.899 We know our self -destructive. And all of those 00:05:16.899 --> 00:05:19.480 things keep perpetuating the wheel of fear. But 00:05:19.480 --> 00:05:21.600 once you understand what yours are, you can say, 00:05:21.720 --> 00:05:23.560 ah, I'm doing it. I'm in the middle of that feeling. 00:05:23.680 --> 00:05:25.160 Ah, I'm in the middle of the fear response. Ah, 00:05:25.259 --> 00:05:27.120 I'm in the middle of self -destructive. And you 00:05:27.120 --> 00:05:28.759 can jump on what I call the wheel of freedom. 00:05:29.230 --> 00:05:30.829 Now, the wheel of freedom has four components, 00:05:30.850 --> 00:05:32.949 too. And the first one, the most important one, 00:05:32.990 --> 00:05:35.290 is your essential nature. And that essential 00:05:35.290 --> 00:05:38.910 nature is that part of you that you hid away 00:05:38.910 --> 00:05:42.910 long ago because it was not safe to express it. 00:05:43.410 --> 00:05:45.449 Now, before I go any further, I just want to 00:05:45.449 --> 00:05:48.589 say that the wheel of fear and the wheel of freedom, 00:05:48.810 --> 00:05:53.089 we dance between those two all day long. So there 00:05:53.089 --> 00:05:54.870 might be areas of your life that you're living 00:05:54.870 --> 00:05:56.490 on your wheel of freedom right now without knowing 00:05:56.490 --> 00:05:58.769 it. You're like in the flow, you're grooving, 00:05:58.910 --> 00:06:02.209 you're making do, you're happening. That's awesome. 00:06:02.410 --> 00:06:04.629 So you probably have areas of your life right 00:06:04.629 --> 00:06:06.430 now that you're living on your wheel of freedom. 00:06:06.990 --> 00:06:09.029 Now, there are areas of your life that you're 00:06:09.029 --> 00:06:10.990 probably living on your wheel of fear, and that's 00:06:10.990 --> 00:06:13.430 the ones we want to address. So going back to 00:06:13.430 --> 00:06:15.069 the wheel of freedom, the essential nature is 00:06:15.069 --> 00:06:17.410 that part of you that you learned to hide a long 00:06:17.410 --> 00:06:19.529 time ago because it was not safe to express it. 00:06:20.089 --> 00:06:22.550 Like, so that could be, for me, that was authentic. 00:06:23.110 --> 00:06:25.310 You know, I was taught that, you know, you're 00:06:25.310 --> 00:06:26.990 too big, you're too small, you're too this, you're 00:06:26.990 --> 00:06:28.430 too, it was always something, there was always 00:06:28.430 --> 00:06:31.449 something wrong with me, right? So I was never 00:06:31.449 --> 00:06:33.870 exactly who I was supposed to be in everyone 00:06:33.870 --> 00:06:36.889 else's eyes. So being authentic was just not 00:06:36.889 --> 00:06:39.550 in the cards for me. Because being in the, if 00:06:39.550 --> 00:06:41.910 I was authentic, then I was afraid my deepest 00:06:41.910 --> 00:06:44.430 fear would come true, which is my core trigger, 00:06:44.589 --> 00:06:46.990 which is that you would see me as a loser. So 00:06:46.990 --> 00:06:50.579 that was. a no -no in my world so those things 00:06:50.579 --> 00:06:53.100 dance together now when you get on the wheel 00:06:53.100 --> 00:06:54.759 of freedom you're going to access your essential 00:06:54.759 --> 00:06:57.610 nature Then move into the second spoke, which 00:06:57.610 --> 00:07:00.689 is your proactive behaviors. And I help you create 00:07:00.689 --> 00:07:02.449 those proactive behaviors that align with your 00:07:02.449 --> 00:07:04.129 essential nature. So now you're moving in the 00:07:04.129 --> 00:07:06.310 direction of your freedom, which, of course, 00:07:06.310 --> 00:07:08.509 then take you down to what I call wholeness and 00:07:08.509 --> 00:07:11.029 then self -affirming behaviors. And so that in 00:07:11.029 --> 00:07:13.550 itself is a wheel that's going around. Some people 00:07:13.550 --> 00:07:15.470 would call that flow. Some people would call 00:07:15.470 --> 00:07:18.370 that in the zone. Right. And you are literally 00:07:18.370 --> 00:07:22.410 living your. I was going to say you're living 00:07:22.410 --> 00:07:24.910 in your power. You're living in your true authentic 00:07:24.910 --> 00:07:28.490 self. You're living in your, I'm just going to 00:07:28.490 --> 00:07:30.949 say authentic self, your essential nature. So 00:07:30.949 --> 00:07:34.550 that is the wheel of freedom. Thank you for sharing 00:07:34.550 --> 00:07:40.189 that. You're welcome. What has implementing these 00:07:40.189 --> 00:07:44.480 techniques done for you, Rhonda? Oh, gosh. Well, 00:07:44.579 --> 00:07:46.800 I would say the first thing that it does when 00:07:46.800 --> 00:07:48.639 people find their wheel of fear and will of freedom, 00:07:48.720 --> 00:07:50.879 the first thing that happens is you understand 00:07:50.879 --> 00:07:53.480 why your life is the way it is. You basically 00:07:53.480 --> 00:07:55.930 have that moment of like. Oh, I get it now. Oh, 00:07:56.029 --> 00:07:58.589 I see it. It's like your life flashes before 00:07:58.589 --> 00:08:01.069 you. And all of a sudden you see like why you 00:08:01.069 --> 00:08:02.829 didn't take that job, why you took that job, 00:08:02.889 --> 00:08:04.189 why you went to college, why you didn't go to 00:08:04.189 --> 00:08:05.730 college, why you dropped out of college, why 00:08:05.730 --> 00:08:07.870 you got divorced, why you got married. You start 00:08:07.870 --> 00:08:10.410 seeing how everything unfolds through the lens 00:08:10.410 --> 00:08:12.689 of your wheel of fear and will freedom. So that's 00:08:12.689 --> 00:08:15.310 number one. The second thing is because you now 00:08:15.310 --> 00:08:17.089 see it through the lens of the wheel of fear 00:08:17.089 --> 00:08:21.389 and will freedom, shame dissolves, self -blame 00:08:21.389 --> 00:08:24.670 dissolves. disempowering yourself is no longer 00:08:24.670 --> 00:08:27.769 attractive. Beating yourself up stops. So instead 00:08:27.769 --> 00:08:30.290 of making yourself the problem, like, oh, I'm 00:08:30.290 --> 00:08:34.090 procrastinating. I'm a bad person. Oh, I'm beating 00:08:34.090 --> 00:08:36.269 myself up. I really got to stop doing that. Oh, 00:08:36.330 --> 00:08:38.870 I'm judging others. Oh God, I'm so bad, right? 00:08:38.950 --> 00:08:42.210 Instead of blaming ourself and thinking that 00:08:42.210 --> 00:08:43.809 these are character flaws, instead of thinking 00:08:43.809 --> 00:08:45.929 these are identity issues, i .e. thinking these 00:08:45.929 --> 00:08:48.289 are our problems, we can start seeing them as 00:08:48.289 --> 00:08:50.759 mechanisms and going, oh. I'm afraid of something. 00:08:50.960 --> 00:08:53.779 Okay, got it. Well, let me step back and go, 00:08:53.820 --> 00:08:55.840 what am I afraid of? Ah, I'm afraid of being 00:08:55.840 --> 00:08:58.039 seen as a loser. Ah, I'm afraid of being rejected. 00:08:58.200 --> 00:09:00.600 Ah, I'm afraid of being seen as lazy. Ah, I'm 00:09:00.600 --> 00:09:02.799 afraid of looking stupid. Again, whatever yours 00:09:02.799 --> 00:09:06.360 is. And once you can stop and stop and say, see 00:09:06.360 --> 00:09:09.799 that, then you can decide using your frontal 00:09:09.799 --> 00:09:11.879 lobe, right? Your frontal cortex, right? You 00:09:11.879 --> 00:09:14.200 can decide how you want to show up instead of 00:09:14.200 --> 00:09:17.820 being on automatic pilot. Wow. Thank you for 00:09:17.820 --> 00:09:22.379 sharing that. You're welcome. There's a lot of 00:09:22.379 --> 00:09:25.419 insights that you gave today. I have one more 00:09:25.419 --> 00:09:27.360 question for you before we end today's segment. 00:09:28.720 --> 00:09:36.580 What is your why or what you do? Well, my parents 00:09:36.580 --> 00:09:40.179 died at my father's hand when I was 14 years 00:09:40.179 --> 00:09:43.759 old. He murdered my mother and then committed 00:09:43.759 --> 00:09:48.299 suicide in front of me. And I can see how clearly. 00:09:48.909 --> 00:09:51.649 My father murdered my mother out of fear, and 00:09:51.649 --> 00:09:55.470 my mother stayed with my father for years because 00:09:55.470 --> 00:09:59.370 of fear. And so fear killed my mother, killed 00:09:59.370 --> 00:10:01.830 my father. It almost killed me. I had three suicide 00:10:01.830 --> 00:10:04.230 attempts, alcoholism, DUIs, et cetera, blah, 00:10:04.289 --> 00:10:08.490 blah, blah. So this isn't just a fanciful self 00:10:08.490 --> 00:10:11.110 -help like, oh, isn't this a good idea? No, this 00:10:11.110 --> 00:10:13.629 is literally life and death for people. This 00:10:13.629 --> 00:10:15.610 is literally them living their soul's intention 00:10:15.610 --> 00:10:19.289 versus being stuck and small. This is literally 00:10:19.289 --> 00:10:24.529 setting yourself free and living your dream versus. 00:10:25.100 --> 00:10:27.139 getting caught up in things that no longer serve 00:10:27.139 --> 00:10:31.460 you. So this is not just a good idea to me. This 00:10:31.460 --> 00:10:33.419 is literally life and death. Thank you for being 00:10:33.419 --> 00:10:35.379 here today. I'm really happy that you tuned in 00:10:35.379 --> 00:10:38.000 to Vision Pros Live. I'm looking forward to seeing 00:10:38.000 --> 00:10:41.059 your reactions as these episodes continue to 00:10:41.059 --> 00:10:42.759 move forward. This is going to get more and more 00:10:42.759 --> 00:10:45.080 fun. We'll have more and more engagement as well. 00:10:45.120 --> 00:10:47.019 We'll invite people to participate in the show. 00:10:47.179 --> 00:10:49.200 And thank you for giving us your time and attention. 00:10:49.500 --> 00:10:52.120 Have an excellent time building out your vision 00:10:52.120 --> 00:10:53.559 and becoming a vision pro yourself.