Do me a favor, share with me your first, last
name, where you're located, and the name of your
book and or business. My name is Maria Garaitanandia.
You say that as if you're giving directions to
go right to Nandia. I am located in beautiful
Orlando, and I have just finished writing a book,
it's yet to be published, called Untangling Communication.
a complete leadership guide please share with
me more about your book and the business my i
guess my passion has always been to help people
understand each other a little better growing
up my dad was transferred to a bunch of different
countries so i was always the new kid every couple
of years and in different places and i made my
share of mistakes So one of the things you have
to learn if you want to be accepted is learn
how to talk the way that people will receive
it better. You know, whether it's learning what
the local jargon is or picking up on a few accents
or even a language. Not only that, but also being
able to adjust your style. So as an adult. What
I have been doing for the last 25 years is working
with teams and leaders, mostly in a corporate
environment, to help them untangle a lot of those
communication challenges that they face, whether
it's intercultural issues or whether it's managing
conflict or whether it's figuring out how to
give somebody feedback without alienating them.
but rather encouraging them. So all of these
little delicate things that could sometimes trip
us up, those are the things that I have found
that I can help people with and that I'm most
passionate about. What challenge do you see them
facing most often? Well, just like you said,
Javanka, the idea there is that even though something
might work really well for you in one context,
it doesn't necessarily You're not going to cut
and paste it in every situation. I think that
leaders who are most successful are those who
have the situational awareness where they know
that just by, again, observing stuff that I had
to learn from an early age, by observing, interpreting,
adjusting, if you can do that, it'll make your
life so much easier because you have to be able
to give the person. the message and the way that
they will be most receptive to it so that you
can actually move forward. So you can actually
create that sense of solidarity, of teamwork,
etc. So being very much, you know, on the, I
guess, on the lookout for any kind of clues that
might give you an idea as to how to adjust your
message that will make or break. Your your leadership
style. Yes. Yes. And, you know, I just had this
random question come in my head. Of course, when
you want a job, you go for an interview. Right.
And then in that interview, you ask all these
questions. I wonder how much. About communication
is in this interview to at least get to know
the person you're about to hire. Does that make
sense? Do you do you mean like how much you can
figure out from a person? Yes, yes. Well, you
know, that's a good point. That's a good question
because you have limited time. And a lot of people
also tell me they're like, well, it gets easier
if you know somebody because, you know, you know,
OK, this person's a little more results oriented.
You got to speak to them and in language that
reflects that. But what do you do when it's somebody
that you're just starting to meet? And again,
your powers of observation might be quicker or
maybe a little slower. But one of the things
that I always suggest is asking open ended questions
that will give you a lot more richness in the
answers that it elicits from the the responder
rather than, you know, yes or no questions or
guided questions. Makes sense. I guess I just
think about it as I go. I went into interviews
for myself. I'm like. If we took a little bit
longer, maybe you'd get to know, like you said,
the open ended questions and allowing me to answer
accordingly. However, I do realize that sometimes
one on one is usually a lot shorter. But a panel
in my mind, I'm thinking, what if they had like
a. someone that's like a, that'll sit there and
be quiet and try to look into it and learn a
little bit about their move, you know, all of
that stuff. I don't know. It was just something
that was random, but I wonder how easier would
that make it when they be, you know, when they're
actually onboarding and then choosing to understand
where they are in order to guide them in the
direction that's needed for the business as well
as for themselves. so it was just random for
sure for sure and and and i think that you know
people say well nowadays you don't talk about
soft skills because the soft skills label has
gotten a bad rap but ultimately whatever you
call them whether you call them soft skills uh
power skills interpersonal intelligence skills
these these interpersonal intelligence skills
are super important because They are the ones
that we actually are looking for, you know, that
emotional intelligence that you might have, being
able to stop and postpone reacting, being able
to realize what you're feeling, being able to
take that step and change the narrative in your
head. Because I mean, I don't know, I think sometimes
people jump a little too quickly. They're like,
oh, you did this and that means that. Well, you
know what? Maybe that's not what they meant.
And maybe they didn't mean to, you know, offend
you. Sometimes we have different filters. Right.
And I was just doing a cross -cultural training
and I talked to people. I'm like, you know, you
grow up with a certain filter. This is how you
see life. And it's not objective. It's subjective.
We all have a subjective filter. And sometimes
you run into somebody who has a different color
filter than you. And when you. look at their
behavior through your own filter, you're like,
what? But you have to realize that everybody
has their own logic as to why they're behaving,
how they're behaving. They have different set
of parents with maybe a different culture or
family culture or whatever that makes perfect
logical sense to them. So you have to get to
a point where you can kind of, you know, have
the green filter, you know, for people to understand.
you know, where they're coming from. And that's
what I mean sometimes by the situational awareness
to be able to say, okay, maybe you didn't really,
this came across this way. Is that what you really
meant? Because I don't really think that's what
you meant. And then being able to give people
the benefit of the doubt and have richer dialogues
instead of like, you know, self -censoring or
being, you know. Making mistakes that you don't
even realize that you're making you know I understand
that you've created a model the clear model for
improving communication. Is that correct? Yes
after so many years like 20 some years of answering
much of the same questions and Finding that a
lot of people had a lot of the same issues I
pretty much came up with an acronym that kind
of covers a lot of these issues, kind of like
a situational management model that stands. C
stands for conveying context. So starting out
with giving a little explanation of where you're
at or your why, you know, this, you know, this
is my situation. And so that way you're extending
the courtesy to somebody of taking them with
you through your reasoning. So starting with
a little bit of context. it you win half the
battle already so context first then simultaneously
you need to listen and empathize so kind of like
opening the you know asking those open -ended
questions um having a little bit of the empathy
imagining changing that narrative having that
emotional intelligence to be like okay maybe
this is where they're coming from so when you're
listening open -ended questions and you're empathizing
with their point of view That makes it a lot
easier too. And then the last two steps are AR.
So we've got convey context, listen, empathize,
adjust, and reframe. So once you have all that
info, you've been able to be a little bit more
empathetic. You're able to adjust because now
you have new information. And then you're able
to reframe in a positive way. Hopefully now you
can think of it better if or how about. And so
you can come up with solutions just by reframing
what you've already figured out in a more positive
way. Got it. Got it. So clear. Listen, emphasize,
adjust and refrain. Exactly. like it i like it
with that being said i would definitely love
to know being that you've been in this field
for about 25 years and it seems like you're only
just getting better and learning more especially
with communication now that a lot of things are
done over zoom and google meet etc um tell me
about your vision my vision when it comes to
my clients My vision is, especially with AI and
like you said, all of this technology, my vision
is to help people make sure that they are not
forgetting the importance of this interpersonal
intelligence skills, to not push aside because
it's sometimes it can be messy or uncomfortable
because that's actually that's. pretty much what
we're holding on to as human beings now that
ai is pretty much doing a lot of other stuff
for us so i always try to encourage people look
don't delegate too terribly much don't be afraid
to get out of your comfort zone because ultimately
that's what makes us human and that's what kind
of distinguishes us i don't know i don't need
i mean we can't even think of what's going to
be down the line even three years from now because
we're probably going to be talking to holograms
instead right i i don't know but um but but yeah
especially i encourage gen z especially who had
they had the bulk of the the isolation during
the pandemic and kind of lost out on a lot of
these skills the face -to -face skills and they're
needing a little extra help um in in the last
couple years in catching up on some of these
skills but some of some of the older generation
we've kind of picked up on some bad habits too
so it's really important to to not forget to
make those connections to be able to discern
when is it okay to continue asynchronous you
know texting or writing and when it's the moment
to just grab the phone or connect with someone
face to face yeah um because sometimes we're
just spinning our wheels going in circles and
it's not you know we're wasting time energy effort
so so yeah that's that's a little bit of of what
i i'm seeing yes and and interesting you brought
up the the pandemic and i mean the the world
completely changed and i don't believe For myself,
as in the age of 46, I think that I got a bit
disconnected myself, you know, and all those
relational or interpersonal skills that I used
to have were not as utilized. One thing I will
say is that some of us that did have the opportunity
to continue working throughout that, it still
put a little fear in us. And so as you worked
in this field during the pandemic, what was that
like for you to work with community having you
know to work in communication for someone to
do better or to get better in the corporate environment
well i can tell you on the one hand as a you
know a corporate coach consultant trainer fortunately
i was able to just transition my face -to -face
events work you know meetings and and so forth
into virtual so I was lucky in that sense. But
I can tell you that I have observed what the
difference has been. I've noticed that obviously
people's attention spans have decreased significantly
in the last five years. Young people especially.
And there's this book called The Anxious Generation
by Jonathan Haidt, who's a sociologist. And he
talks about. gen z and a lot of the anxiety and
and what constant scrolling and all of that does
to the brain so yeah i don't doubt it i mean
if you notice do you do you do you sit through
a 10 minute video i mean a lot of people won't
even sit through 10 minutes right right so so
that i've noticed i've noticed for example um
meetings or sessions or programs have to be a
lot shorter they have to be a lot more dynamic
Absolutely. And but that said, I can tell you
that I think that people do enjoy when we do
have the opportunity to meet in person. People
really enjoy that. And I've gotten a lot of clients
telling me, you know what, we need a team. We
need team building because a lot of colleagues,
they don't even know each other. And it gets
even worse if you don't even turn your camera
on. yes so you're talking to to initials you
don't even know who that person is you know how
are you going to create um a connection how are
you going to create rapport if you don't even
know what the person looks like and they're just
this abstract concept yeah yeah and that's where
again i'm going back to the you know it's important
to create those very human connections there's
a need there's a need for that and you will probably
work better with somebody whose face you've seen
or can see somebody who you've had a chance to
interact more than just on an email here or there
or a or a call with the initials because there's
a sense of i guess there's a natural sense of
of connection of affinity of empathy and it'll
make things flow a lot easier and it's not just
a nice to have i think it's important it's an
important must have at some point to meet people
at very least virtually on a camera, ideally
face to face. Yes. Yes. And when you said the
initials and no one's on the screen, I thought
about their best picture ever. That probably
doesn't look like them anymore. So you're like.
Because I know I chose my best picture ever.
So I was like, yeah, you know, just a still photo.
But yes, exactly. And I think that, I mean, so
many things have changed as, you know, we had
that discussion about the pandemic and things
that we never thought would ever happen. As we
get back into normal, I too enjoy just a face
-to -face conversation. But also once, as you
mentioned, with the still photo and the initials,
you also don't. see anyone's body language. And
then, you know, I'm that type of person that
I could, if I see your body language and then
I can hear what you're saying, something that
could be said when you're just in a still photo
could have been taken wrong. When I've seen something
in your face that was a little bit different,
that was maybe a question and not accusatory.
So I totally get it. And something about communication,
I could talk about this all day because I think
it's just super important. And I really, really,
really would love for Gen Z to get back, you
know, to be taught that because I think it's
just super important. And the work that you're
doing is super important. The work that you're
doing seems a little bit challenging in my eyes
because communication is really hard. And I don't
want to take up too much of your time, but I
do want to ask one last question. What's your
why? My why is because I love people. That's
fine. I love people. Thank you for being here
today. I'm really happy that you tuned in to
Vision Pros Live. I'm looking forward to seeing
your reactions as these episodes continue to
move forward. This is going to get more and more
fun. We'll have more and more engagement as well.
We'll invite people to participate in the show.
And thank you for giving us your time and attention.
Have an excellent time building out your vision
and becoming a vision pro yourself.