WEBVTT

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Do me a favor, share with me your first, last

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name, where you're located, and the name of your

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book and or business. My name is Maria Garaitanandia.

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You say that as if you're giving directions to

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go right to Nandia. I am located in beautiful

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Orlando, and I have just finished writing a book,

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it's yet to be published, called Untangling Communication.

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a complete leadership guide please share with

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me more about your book and the business my i

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guess my passion has always been to help people

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understand each other a little better growing

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up my dad was transferred to a bunch of different

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countries so i was always the new kid every couple

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of years and in different places and i made my

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share of mistakes So one of the things you have

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to learn if you want to be accepted is learn

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how to talk the way that people will receive

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it better. You know, whether it's learning what

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the local jargon is or picking up on a few accents

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or even a language. Not only that, but also being

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able to adjust your style. So as an adult. What

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I have been doing for the last 25 years is working

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with teams and leaders, mostly in a corporate

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environment, to help them untangle a lot of those

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communication challenges that they face, whether

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it's intercultural issues or whether it's managing

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conflict or whether it's figuring out how to

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give somebody feedback without alienating them.

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but rather encouraging them. So all of these

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little delicate things that could sometimes trip

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us up, those are the things that I have found

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that I can help people with and that I'm most

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passionate about. What challenge do you see them

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facing most often? Well, just like you said,

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Javanka, the idea there is that even though something

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might work really well for you in one context,

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it doesn't necessarily You're not going to cut

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and paste it in every situation. I think that

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leaders who are most successful are those who

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have the situational awareness where they know

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that just by, again, observing stuff that I had

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to learn from an early age, by observing, interpreting,

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adjusting, if you can do that, it'll make your

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life so much easier because you have to be able

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to give the person. the message and the way that

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they will be most receptive to it so that you

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can actually move forward. So you can actually

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create that sense of solidarity, of teamwork,

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etc. So being very much, you know, on the, I

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guess, on the lookout for any kind of clues that

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might give you an idea as to how to adjust your

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message that will make or break. Your your leadership

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style. Yes. Yes. And, you know, I just had this

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random question come in my head. Of course, when

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you want a job, you go for an interview. Right.

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And then in that interview, you ask all these

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questions. I wonder how much. About communication

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is in this interview to at least get to know

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the person you're about to hire. Does that make

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sense? Do you do you mean like how much you can

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figure out from a person? Yes, yes. Well, you

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know, that's a good point. That's a good question

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because you have limited time. And a lot of people

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also tell me they're like, well, it gets easier

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if you know somebody because, you know, you know,

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OK, this person's a little more results oriented.

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You got to speak to them and in language that

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reflects that. But what do you do when it's somebody

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that you're just starting to meet? And again,

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your powers of observation might be quicker or

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maybe a little slower. But one of the things

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that I always suggest is asking open ended questions

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that will give you a lot more richness in the

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answers that it elicits from the the responder

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rather than, you know, yes or no questions or

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guided questions. Makes sense. I guess I just

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think about it as I go. I went into interviews

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for myself. I'm like. If we took a little bit

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longer, maybe you'd get to know, like you said,

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the open ended questions and allowing me to answer

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accordingly. However, I do realize that sometimes

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one on one is usually a lot shorter. But a panel

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in my mind, I'm thinking, what if they had like

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a. someone that's like a, that'll sit there and

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be quiet and try to look into it and learn a

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little bit about their move, you know, all of

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that stuff. I don't know. It was just something

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that was random, but I wonder how easier would

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that make it when they be, you know, when they're

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actually onboarding and then choosing to understand

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where they are in order to guide them in the

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direction that's needed for the business as well

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as for themselves. so it was just random for

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sure for sure and and and i think that you know

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people say well nowadays you don't talk about

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soft skills because the soft skills label has

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gotten a bad rap but ultimately whatever you

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call them whether you call them soft skills uh

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power skills interpersonal intelligence skills

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these these interpersonal intelligence skills

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are super important because They are the ones

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that we actually are looking for, you know, that

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emotional intelligence that you might have, being

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able to stop and postpone reacting, being able

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to realize what you're feeling, being able to

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take that step and change the narrative in your

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head. Because I mean, I don't know, I think sometimes

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people jump a little too quickly. They're like,

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oh, you did this and that means that. Well, you

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know what? Maybe that's not what they meant.

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And maybe they didn't mean to, you know, offend

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you. Sometimes we have different filters. Right.

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And I was just doing a cross -cultural training

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and I talked to people. I'm like, you know, you

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grow up with a certain filter. This is how you

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see life. And it's not objective. It's subjective.

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We all have a subjective filter. And sometimes

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you run into somebody who has a different color

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filter than you. And when you. look at their

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behavior through your own filter, you're like,

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what? But you have to realize that everybody

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has their own logic as to why they're behaving,

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how they're behaving. They have different set

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of parents with maybe a different culture or

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family culture or whatever that makes perfect

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logical sense to them. So you have to get to

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a point where you can kind of, you know, have

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the green filter, you know, for people to understand.

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you know, where they're coming from. And that's

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what I mean sometimes by the situational awareness

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to be able to say, okay, maybe you didn't really,

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this came across this way. Is that what you really

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meant? Because I don't really think that's what

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you meant. And then being able to give people

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the benefit of the doubt and have richer dialogues

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instead of like, you know, self -censoring or

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being, you know. Making mistakes that you don't

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even realize that you're making you know I understand

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that you've created a model the clear model for

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improving communication. Is that correct? Yes

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after so many years like 20 some years of answering

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much of the same questions and Finding that a

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lot of people had a lot of the same issues I

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pretty much came up with an acronym that kind

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of covers a lot of these issues, kind of like

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a situational management model that stands. C

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stands for conveying context. So starting out

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with giving a little explanation of where you're

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at or your why, you know, this, you know, this

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is my situation. And so that way you're extending

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the courtesy to somebody of taking them with

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you through your reasoning. So starting with

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a little bit of context. it you win half the

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battle already so context first then simultaneously

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you need to listen and empathize so kind of like

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opening the you know asking those open -ended

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questions um having a little bit of the empathy

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imagining changing that narrative having that

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emotional intelligence to be like okay maybe

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this is where they're coming from so when you're

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listening open -ended questions and you're empathizing

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with their point of view That makes it a lot

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easier too. And then the last two steps are AR.

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So we've got convey context, listen, empathize,

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adjust, and reframe. So once you have all that

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info, you've been able to be a little bit more

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empathetic. You're able to adjust because now

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you have new information. And then you're able

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to reframe in a positive way. Hopefully now you

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can think of it better if or how about. And so

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you can come up with solutions just by reframing

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what you've already figured out in a more positive

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way. Got it. Got it. So clear. Listen, emphasize,

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adjust and refrain. Exactly. like it i like it

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with that being said i would definitely love

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to know being that you've been in this field

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for about 25 years and it seems like you're only

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just getting better and learning more especially

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with communication now that a lot of things are

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done over zoom and google meet etc um tell me

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about your vision my vision when it comes to

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my clients My vision is, especially with AI and

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like you said, all of this technology, my vision

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is to help people make sure that they are not

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forgetting the importance of this interpersonal

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intelligence skills, to not push aside because

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it's sometimes it can be messy or uncomfortable

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because that's actually that's. pretty much what

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we're holding on to as human beings now that

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ai is pretty much doing a lot of other stuff

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for us so i always try to encourage people look

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don't delegate too terribly much don't be afraid

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to get out of your comfort zone because ultimately

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that's what makes us human and that's what kind

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of distinguishes us i don't know i don't need

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i mean we can't even think of what's going to

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be down the line even three years from now because

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we're probably going to be talking to holograms

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instead right i i don't know but um but but yeah

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especially i encourage gen z especially who had

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they had the bulk of the the isolation during

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the pandemic and kind of lost out on a lot of

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these skills the face -to -face skills and they're

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needing a little extra help um in in the last

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couple years in catching up on some of these

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skills but some of some of the older generation

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we've kind of picked up on some bad habits too

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so it's really important to to not forget to

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make those connections to be able to discern

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when is it okay to continue asynchronous you

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know texting or writing and when it's the moment

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to just grab the phone or connect with someone

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face to face yeah um because sometimes we're

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just spinning our wheels going in circles and

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it's not you know we're wasting time energy effort

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so so yeah that's that's a little bit of of what

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i i'm seeing yes and and interesting you brought

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up the the pandemic and i mean the the world

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completely changed and i don't believe For myself,

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as in the age of 46, I think that I got a bit

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disconnected myself, you know, and all those

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relational or interpersonal skills that I used

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to have were not as utilized. One thing I will

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say is that some of us that did have the opportunity

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to continue working throughout that, it still

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put a little fear in us. And so as you worked

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in this field during the pandemic, what was that

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like for you to work with community having you

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know to work in communication for someone to

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do better or to get better in the corporate environment

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well i can tell you on the one hand as a you

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know a corporate coach consultant trainer fortunately

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i was able to just transition my face -to -face

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events work you know meetings and and so forth

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into virtual so I was lucky in that sense. But

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I can tell you that I have observed what the

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difference has been. I've noticed that obviously

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people's attention spans have decreased significantly

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in the last five years. Young people especially.

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And there's this book called The Anxious Generation

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by Jonathan Haidt, who's a sociologist. And he

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talks about. gen z and a lot of the anxiety and

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and what constant scrolling and all of that does

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to the brain so yeah i don't doubt it i mean

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if you notice do you do you do you sit through

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a 10 minute video i mean a lot of people won't

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even sit through 10 minutes right right so so

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that i've noticed i've noticed for example um

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meetings or sessions or programs have to be a

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lot shorter they have to be a lot more dynamic

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Absolutely. And but that said, I can tell you

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that I think that people do enjoy when we do

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have the opportunity to meet in person. People

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really enjoy that. And I've gotten a lot of clients

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telling me, you know what, we need a team. We

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need team building because a lot of colleagues,

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they don't even know each other. And it gets

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even worse if you don't even turn your camera

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on. yes so you're talking to to initials you

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don't even know who that person is you know how

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are you going to create um a connection how are

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you going to create rapport if you don't even

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know what the person looks like and they're just

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this abstract concept yeah yeah and that's where

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again i'm going back to the you know it's important

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to create those very human connections there's

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a need there's a need for that and you will probably

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work better with somebody whose face you've seen

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or can see somebody who you've had a chance to

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interact more than just on an email here or there

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or a or a call with the initials because there's

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a sense of i guess there's a natural sense of

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of connection of affinity of empathy and it'll

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make things flow a lot easier and it's not just

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a nice to have i think it's important it's an

00:15:37.340 --> 00:15:41.850
important must have at some point to meet people

00:15:41.850 --> 00:15:46.490
at very least virtually on a camera, ideally

00:15:46.490 --> 00:15:50.549
face to face. Yes. Yes. And when you said the

00:15:50.549 --> 00:15:53.490
initials and no one's on the screen, I thought

00:15:53.490 --> 00:15:56.809
about their best picture ever. That probably

00:15:56.809 --> 00:16:00.269
doesn't look like them anymore. So you're like.

00:16:03.289 --> 00:16:05.830
Because I know I chose my best picture ever.

00:16:05.889 --> 00:16:08.450
So I was like, yeah, you know, just a still photo.

00:16:08.570 --> 00:16:13.309
But yes, exactly. And I think that, I mean, so

00:16:13.309 --> 00:16:16.610
many things have changed as, you know, we had

00:16:16.610 --> 00:16:19.149
that discussion about the pandemic and things

00:16:19.149 --> 00:16:22.679
that we never thought would ever happen. As we

00:16:22.679 --> 00:16:28.019
get back into normal, I too enjoy just a face

00:16:28.019 --> 00:16:31.460
-to -face conversation. But also once, as you

00:16:31.460 --> 00:16:34.059
mentioned, with the still photo and the initials,

00:16:34.059 --> 00:16:37.419
you also don't. see anyone's body language. And

00:16:37.419 --> 00:16:39.659
then, you know, I'm that type of person that

00:16:39.659 --> 00:16:42.200
I could, if I see your body language and then

00:16:42.200 --> 00:16:44.159
I can hear what you're saying, something that

00:16:44.159 --> 00:16:46.240
could be said when you're just in a still photo

00:16:46.240 --> 00:16:49.019
could have been taken wrong. When I've seen something

00:16:49.019 --> 00:16:51.039
in your face that was a little bit different,

00:16:51.120 --> 00:16:53.299
that was maybe a question and not accusatory.

00:16:53.500 --> 00:16:57.559
So I totally get it. And something about communication,

00:16:57.980 --> 00:17:00.480
I could talk about this all day because I think

00:17:00.480 --> 00:17:04.400
it's just super important. And I really, really,

00:17:04.519 --> 00:17:07.980
really would love for Gen Z to get back, you

00:17:07.980 --> 00:17:10.420
know, to be taught that because I think it's

00:17:10.420 --> 00:17:13.039
just super important. And the work that you're

00:17:13.039 --> 00:17:16.180
doing is super important. The work that you're

00:17:16.180 --> 00:17:20.019
doing seems a little bit challenging in my eyes

00:17:20.019 --> 00:17:23.539
because communication is really hard. And I don't

00:17:23.539 --> 00:17:25.940
want to take up too much of your time, but I

00:17:25.940 --> 00:17:29.920
do want to ask one last question. What's your

00:17:29.920 --> 00:17:41.579
why? My why is because I love people. That's

00:17:41.579 --> 00:17:43.759
fine. I love people. Thank you for being here

00:17:43.759 --> 00:17:45.660
today. I'm really happy that you tuned in to

00:17:45.660 --> 00:17:48.119
Vision Pros Live. I'm looking forward to seeing

00:17:48.119 --> 00:17:51.160
your reactions as these episodes continue to

00:17:51.160 --> 00:17:52.859
move forward. This is going to get more and more

00:17:52.859 --> 00:17:55.180
fun. We'll have more and more engagement as well.

00:17:55.200 --> 00:17:57.119
We'll invite people to participate in the show.

00:17:57.279 --> 00:17:59.299
And thank you for giving us your time and attention.

00:17:59.579 --> 00:18:02.220
Have an excellent time building out your vision

00:18:02.220 --> 00:18:03.599
and becoming a vision pro yourself.
