WEBVTT

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Tell me about your vision. Well, my vision is

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a world where people have a better relationship

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with failure. And whether you're an entrepreneur,

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whether you're a mom, whether you're a kid going

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through college, I think that failure is a necessary

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step towards impact, towards success, really

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even to fulfillment. really have a negative view

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of failure. And I can unpack that more, but that's

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the gist of it. Tell me more. Okay. So even though

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I own a financial company, we do long -term financial

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planning. We help people make sure they don't

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run out of money or purpose in retirement. I

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was not always on this path. In fact, my degree

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is actually in biochemistry. And that's very

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important because what I learned going through

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my experience as a chemist is the importance

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of experiments. And with an experiment, we weren't

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just willy -nilly. We weren't just trying things.

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We would research. We would plan. We were very

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intentional, but we weren't married to the outcome.

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We were more concerned about what can we learn

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from the process. So when things didn't go the

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way that we wanted them to, when something came

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up that was unexpected, rather than looking at

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it as a setback, we're like, okay, what can we

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learn? This is something that we didn't know.

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We just learned something. we have an opportunity

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to learn something. So if we looked at failure

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as an experiment, again, not that we don't go

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into a situation mindful and prepared. We do

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have to be prepared. You want to research, you

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want to study, but so often, especially for entrepreneurs,

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but for anybody, Harry, perfect is often the

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enemy of done. We don't want to do anything until

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we have a perfect plan and perfection actually

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becomes an excuse for procrastination. And then

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when we do go start doing the thing, nothing

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ever goes as planned. And when we hit failure

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or we hit setbacks, I hate even calling it failure

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because it's such a negative connotation. But

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when we experience setbacks, we experience that

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as failure. Oh, no, this is bad rather than hmm.

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There's a lesson in here. So the only difference

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between a setback or a failure and an experiment

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is whether or not you're going into that willing

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to learn from the process. Thank you for sharing

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that. So how has that helped you and why is this

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your why? Why do you care about all this? Because

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I grew up wanting to only do things I knew that

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I would succeed at. if people this is going to

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sound weird harry but if people failed more often

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they would actually experience more fulfillment

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because the fear of failure is what stops people

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from doing things. It's what stops people from

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pursuing relationships and dreams and businesses

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and educations. It's what stops us from pursuing

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the best versions of ourselves. That's what failure,

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the fear of failure does. So failure is not nearly

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as destructive as the fear of it. And if we create

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a better relationship with failure, we can step

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into that better version of ourself i believe

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that the best version of me probably is on the

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other side of a door of setbacks and failure

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but growing up i i found success early in life

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in certain sports and some areas of academics

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and i got to the point where i had a very fixed

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mindset i didn't want to do anything that might

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rattle that perception that oh i'm really good

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at this so what happened was i stopped attempting

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new things i started trying things even if they

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were really enticing or really like tugging on

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my heart area, I wouldn't do them because I'm

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like, I don't know if I'm going to be good at

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this or I don't know if I'm going to succeed.

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I don't know if this idea is going to work. So

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rather than potentially experience failure, I

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wouldn't even try. And that to me is the most

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extreme form of failure is never even attempting.

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How did you get started on this path that you're

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on today now? Well, there was a lot of steps

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along the way, and I'll try to give you the quick

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version. And let me just explain something to

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you. The fear of failure never goes away. And

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to be truly courageous, I believe fear is necessary.

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If I step into a situation, whether it's charging

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a battlefield or opening a business, If I don't

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experience any fear or trepidation, number one,

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there's a chance I'm probably somewhat reckless

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or maybe not taking this as seriously as I should.

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But number two, there's no bravery in that. There's

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no bravery or courage in the absence of fear.

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So something has to scare us a little bit in

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order for us to step forward in courage. But

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the other part of that too is there's always...

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Failure stings. Rejection stings. I'm not pretending

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that you ever quite get away from that. In my

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business, I actually calculate this out. I have

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been rejected personally by people about 75 ,000

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times prospecting for clients and things like

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that. That's a lot of failure if you look at

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it that way. And it stings every time. Now, it

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doesn't affect me as much as it used to. One

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of the most pivotal moments of my life was recognizing

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that I had this fear and I didn't want to try

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new things. And there's so much of my life that

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I was missing out on because I wouldn't step

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into the unknown. And human beings have a penchant

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or a proclivity to grasp onto uncertainty, or

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sorry, onto certainty. We don't want to experience

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ambiguity. And sometimes we stay in a rut of

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our own life because we don't want to experience

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the ambiguity of stepping out into the unknown.

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Even if we know where we are, we don't like,

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we don't want to step into the unknown. And that's

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exactly where I was when I was in college. I

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was recognizing this. And again, I had done well

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in sports growing up. And the college I was at

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didn't offer a couple of the sports that I had

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particularly excelled in. And somebody encouraged

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me, why don't you try track, track and field?

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I'd never done track in and of itself. I trained

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that way to increase my speed for football and

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baseball and other sports. And I'll tell you,

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man, I could feel like all these fears building

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up inside me. And I was like, all right, I'm

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going to do it. I'm not going to live in fear

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anymore. And I went to the coach and I explained

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my situation and I was asking him for an opportunity

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to walk on. fully expecting him to say no. But

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that was like, I'm going to be okay with that,

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even if he tells me no. Well, what scared me

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even more than him saying no was him saying,

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yes, I will give you a chance, but here's what

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it's going to look like. And then I thought,

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wow, this is for real. Like I'm actually, I'm

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going to have to put my money where my mouth

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is, so to speak. And he gave me an opportunity

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to make the team. And I ended up making the team.

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And about 10 days before our first meet, I tear

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my quad. And it was a very, it felt like such

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a public failure. I literally did this in the

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middle of practice. And we were working on our

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start. So I was coming out of the blocks and

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something didn't quite feel right. I was trying

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to push through it. And then it just went. My

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quadricep just went. And it felt. in the moment

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like such an utter failure a huge setback and

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literally like my team's watching and i'm gonna

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miss i'm gonna miss our our very first meet but

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you know what i survived and and all those things

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like that was the worst that could happen in

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my mind and the worst happened i didn't die yeah

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it stung it literally hurt but It wasn't the

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end. It wasn't as devastating as I thought it

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could be. So I think experiencing a very visceral

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failure and locking horns with that allowed me

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to face some of the insecurities, even within

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my own soul and spirit, and to move on and to

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not let that be the end of the story. Thank you

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for sharing that. It gives me a lot of insights.

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where you come from so what's the journey been

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like from that day you tore your quad to the

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lessons you learned and what you are today with

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with your company like so what's how did that

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all come about well so i didn't realize this

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at the time because again in college i was pursuing

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a career in medicine i was getting my degree

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in biochemistry um but several years into this

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business and again or those early years a lot

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of that was calling relative strangers inviting

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them into hey do you have a plan for your retire

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do you have your plan for your future most people

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don't have a plan to run out of money in retirement

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but harry do you have a plan not to you know

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those are types of questions i was posing and

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a lot of times you're catching people off guard

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so again a lot of rejection and that was starting

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to really wear me down all those because again

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that the pain of a setback never goes away um

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Or sorry, the pain of an individual setback never

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goes away, but they still sting in the moment.

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So I was letting that pain kind of build up again

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and realizing that I was no longer viewing these

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setbacks as experiments. So what I had to do

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is flip how I viewed those rejections. And I

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started gamifying it. And here's what I've learned.

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And this has application. So if you're not in

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sales, you're not doing prospecting calls. You're

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not trying to raise money. It doesn't matter.

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But I focused on the input rather than on the

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outcome because that's what an experiment does.

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We want to make our input, our preparation, our

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planning, and how we execute the process with

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excellence. But the outcome is not up to us.

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The outcome, there's too many other variables

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outside of our control. And that's how I brought

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prospecting and sales. into more of a gamified

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version where I wasn't focused on the outcome.

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I wanted a certain outcome. I wanted this person

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to say, yes, I'll meet with you. Yes, I would

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love to invest with you. Yes, let's partner together.

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That's what I wanted. But that wasn't going to

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be how I counted my wins, Harry. My win was showing

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up, showing up. and asking the question, putting

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myself in front of a referral or a complete stranger

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and offering my uniqueness to benefit the life

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of somebody else and doing it in such a way that

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I could feel excellence coming out of me. And

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if they said no, fine. That was still a win because

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I put myself in the pathway of success. I couldn't

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guarantee my success. But I stepped out of my

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comfort zone. I put myself in that pathway and

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I focused on the inputs and learned not to be

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tied so much to the outcomes. Thank you for sharing

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that with me today. I have one more question

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for you before we enter this segment. What is

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your goal for being on the show today, Chad?

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I want people to see another side of failure.

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I want people to see setbacks as a way of growing.

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And I'll just give you a metaphor. Growing up

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in sports, growing up in athletics, physical

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training was a very important thing. And the

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idea of pushing yourself to failure, whether

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it was with lifting weights or running sprints,

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like you're pushing yourself to a limit to the

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point where, man, your body's just not really

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responding anymore. Like you've hit your limit.

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And in athletics, it was understood like pushing

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yourself to failure is a good, like, that's how

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you grow. That's how you get faster. That's how

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you get stronger. But we don't use that in other

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areas of our life. And what, what setbacks and

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failure teach people is where their limitations

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are. And a lot of us, I don't think realize what

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our limitations are because we haven't pushed

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ourselves that limit. We are here. We are so

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much more capable. We are so much stronger. We're

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so much more talented and gifted than we give

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ourselves credit for. But until we push the envelope

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of what our limits truly are, we're never going

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to reach those, number one. And number two, we're

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never going to push those limits out. Because

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those are two things. Number one, you have a

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limit today, but you probably don't know where

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it is. And number two, that limit is not fixed.

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You can come back a week from now, a month from

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now, a year from now, be a better version of

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yourself. And those limits are even more expansive

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or even further out than they were before. So

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we don't know what our true limitations are until

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we press them. And until we press them, those

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limits can't be pushed back. Thank you for sharing

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that. When you're pushing those limits, Chad,

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and when you're experiencing failure in the moments,

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like. How has that, the feeling changed for you?

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You mean experiencing fear in the moment and

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realizing, oh, this is something different than

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what I used to do. What does that change like

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for you? Again, the sting is often still there,

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but there's a curiosity now. There's an inquisitive

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piece of me. It's like, okay, what is this teaching

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me? What is the lesson that I can pull out of

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this? Can I do something different? Or was this

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just, you know, this thing I was trying, it would

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never have worked regardless of what I tried.

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So I don't beat myself up. Even if I made a mistake,

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okay, I'm going to get another at -bat in life.

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This isn't my only chance. So even if the...

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the outcome or the the lack of a positive outcome

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was on my shoulders okay i can learn from this

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and sometimes i might learn i'm not going to

00:14:33.980 --> 00:14:36.519
approach this situation or this type of person

00:14:36.519 --> 00:14:40.440
anymore because that's not really what what aligns

00:14:40.440 --> 00:14:42.440
with my goal or the future that i'm trying to

00:14:42.440 --> 00:14:45.200
build so i think it's allowing that inquisitive

00:14:45.200 --> 00:14:48.000
nature again that that that that chemist part

00:14:48.000 --> 00:14:52.659
of me back into saying okay what is this situation

00:14:52.659 --> 00:14:55.480
teaching me and what it does is a couple things

00:14:55.480 --> 00:14:57.919
number one it creates more of a growth mindset

00:14:57.919 --> 00:15:01.500
but number two it allows the rational part of

00:15:01.500 --> 00:15:04.240
my brain to catch up to the emotional part because

00:15:04.240 --> 00:15:06.700
when we experience a setback when we experience

00:15:06.700 --> 00:15:09.279
ambiguity when something happens to us that is

00:15:09.279 --> 00:15:12.919
unexpected unforeseen or unwanted it's really

00:15:12.919 --> 00:15:15.220
easy to get emotional we can get worked up we

00:15:15.220 --> 00:15:17.639
get frustrated our gut starts to get tight we

00:15:17.639 --> 00:15:20.200
start our breathing changes our heart rate increases

00:15:20.200 --> 00:15:23.000
a lot of physiological things that happens and

00:15:23.000 --> 00:15:26.220
all those things are signs of the emotional part

00:15:26.220 --> 00:15:30.080
of our brain taking over And when you ask that

00:15:30.080 --> 00:15:32.019
question, what can I learn? What are the lessons?

00:15:32.500 --> 00:15:35.639
It gives your emotions pause for just a second

00:15:35.639 --> 00:15:38.799
and allows the thinking rational part of your

00:15:38.799 --> 00:15:40.740
brain a chance to catch up with your emotions.

00:15:41.549 --> 00:15:44.250
So we don't react emotionally and we can rationally

00:15:44.250 --> 00:15:46.129
step through the process. Thank you for being

00:15:46.129 --> 00:15:48.070
here today. I'm really happy that you tuned in

00:15:48.070 --> 00:15:50.710
to Vision Pros Live. I'm looking forward to seeing

00:15:50.710 --> 00:15:53.750
your reactions as these episodes continue to

00:15:53.750 --> 00:15:55.470
move forward. This is going to get more and more

00:15:55.470 --> 00:15:57.789
fun. We'll have more and more engagement as well.

00:15:57.809 --> 00:15:59.730
We'll invite people to participate in the show.

00:15:59.850 --> 00:16:01.889
And thank you for giving us your time and attention.

00:16:02.149 --> 00:16:04.830
Have an excellent time building out your vision

00:16:04.830 --> 00:16:06.210
and becoming a vision pro yourself.
