What is the story behind your why that you'd
like to share with the audience? I think that
there's different layers, but I think ultimately
at the end of it, I think what I think is really
important is when we have a good relationship
with money, we're able to teach that to our children.
And ultimately, you know, money is just a reflection
of ourselves. And so when we have a good relationship,
air quotes, right? Good. relationship with money,
then that also reflects how we are with ourselves.
And I think that when we, at least for me and
what I've noticed in myself and clients with
women, is that when we have transformed our relationship
with money, we literally are able to stop some
of that generational experiences that we have
incurred from the past. And we're able to change
the trajectory of our children's future by how
we live and be with money. For sure. Wow. Tell
me more about that. I mean, I think that if you're
not aware of your relationship with money, you
act on autopilot. So you might be saying things
to your children that your parents told you or
your grandparents told your parents. And so you
just, you reenact the same story that probably
you grew up with. But when you are aware that
you can have a different relationship with money,
that you, that your children can have a different
relationship and a more, when I say different,
what I mean is empowered relationship with money.
Then you empower your children as well. Let's
talk both sides. What do you mean by an empowered
relationship and what's the other side of that
equation? Well, the other side is disempowered.
So lots of I can't, we can't, it's not possible.
Almost kind of using money is the reason why
you can't do something. And when you have an
empowered relationship with money, it's the same
that you are with yourself, right? There's a
way to have what you want, to generate what you
want. You know, I grew up with a family that
said we can't afford that versus now I tell my
child like that is not something that is in alignment
with me and dad's values. And so we're choosing
not to spend money on that. It's not because
we can't afford it. It's because we choose not
to pay for that. If you want to spend your money
on that, that's totally OK. But that's not something
we want to spend our money on, which gives the
child the opportunity to really think about like.
do I want that? Do I want to go get it for myself?
And how do I want to, I mean, obviously she's
12. I wouldn't, you know, when she's five, that
was a different story, but just, I think being
able to tell your children that you have a certain
set of values and sometimes what they want may
not be with what you want. And instead of saying,
oh, we can't afford it. Or a lot of times, no
matter how much money you have, that's too expensive.
But really what you mean is that by that is.
the amount of money that they're requesting isn't
what you find value. You don't, you know, the
value and the money does not match. And so using
different language so that you can teach your
children, you know, something isn't expensive.
It's just, you don't find value in it or it's
yeah. Overpriced for the amount that you actually
want to pay. It's not expensive. It feels like
it's out of my range. I can't have that versus
I'm choosing not to buy this because X, Y, Z.
Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. You know, have
you seen the Captain America, the first one?
Yes. So in the in it, there's a I think there's
a part in the movie where. So Steve Rogers, before
he takes the serum and they're looking for someone
to find, find someone who can take the serum,
looking for qualities of, hey, we need these
qualities. And they they went and go ahead on.
choose steve rogers to do so and steve rogers
is this tiny dude like i think five two five
three and um everyone thinks like why did you
choose this guy all right why did you choose
this guy so the i think the the general he takes
a fake grenade and people are just standing in
the middle there's like a lot of a lot of soldiers
he takes a fake grenade and he throws it everyone
goes away But Steve Rogers, he jumps on the grenade.
Get away. I'm going to cover myself. So he was
willing to sacrifice himself. And that's what
the general showed. The serum enhances every
quality that you have. It could be what good
you want to do in the world. It could be how
bad you want to do in the world. It enhances
your muscles. It enhances your brain. I think
it enhances every quality that you have. I think
that's one of the reasons they chose Steve Rogers.
And that's how I kind of look at money from what
experience I've had. I think money as a tool
doesn't change who you are. I think what it does
is it just takes whatever you have and just makes
it bigger and expansive in what you are. So if
greed is something, it's in your heart, right?
And it's something that you practice and that
you in a way are. I think money will take that
and make it to a bigger level. And same with
if you're passionate about charity, if you're
passionate about helping people, I think it will
do the same thing where you're able to help more
people now. You're able to give more now. You're
able to inspire more now. So that's how I kind
of interpret what you said today. Is that relatable
or did I miss the mark completely? I think that's
one piece of it, you know, because. And you looked
at it more so as greed or good, and I'm air quoting
for those of the listeners that are listening.
But it's also if you are afraid, if you are fearful,
the more money you have, you're going to be more
fearful. And we think that the more money we
have, the more at peace or confident we're going
to feel. But that's not true. It's like what
you said. It is an amplification. really being
able, first and foremost, we have to do it for
ourselves before we're able to do it for our
children. And I think also, you know, I think
that there's just something, you know, I think
I said this the last time that there's something
with the financial industry. We talk a lot about
financial legacy, but I think one of the biggest
legacies that we can, you know, impart to our
children is that they are capable. of making
and generating their own money. And I think,
you know, in the financial industry, it's like,
oh, we want to accumulate this money and we want
to be able to give it to whoever, whomever upon
our passing. But I think one of the biggest things
that we can do is teach our children, you know,
good financial literacy and that they're able
to generate it themselves. And that that is something
that comes from within. It's not something that
we get outside of us. So I think that's the other
part of it too. Yeah. What would you say that
that has done for your family, the literacy,
Erin? Well, my child is probably tired of me
talking about money. We talked a lot about money
growing up. Like my dad did educate me on money,
but it was also from a very fear -based place,
right? Of not having enough versus the way I
look at it with my kid now is like, an abundant
mentality and expansive or sufficient you know
mentality um and so i think that the way that
her relationship was with money at her age is
vastly different than what it was at my like
a 180 probably at at my age and so that's when
i say you know we're like flipping the switch
or we're just like the fork in the road we're
able to to really create a different life for
our children. Yes, they have free will and they
grow up and they do their own thing, but they're
not being indoctrinated with this fear scarcity
mindset once we have worked through and continue
to work through our relationship with money.
Would you say this is a little challenge to you?
Would you say that they're indoctrinated on the
other side though? I don't think so. I don't
think it's one or other. I think the brain wants
to go one way or other. I think that there's
definitely times when I feel it in my body when
the scarcity shows up, but then my ability to
catch it and to correct it is so much quicker
than what it used to be. And then able to have
those conversations with my... child about that.
And to talk about money in a very neutral place,
I think we want to look at like abundance versus
like a lot of times we just have conversations
around money. Like we have conversations around
the weather. It's not charged like it was in
my house. Wow. Thank you for sharing that. That's
a, that's, that's a, I think definitely a lot
of different ways to look at it. And, and I think
the more, the more we're not able to react or
act through, I would say, stimulus empowers us
to make the right choices in our life. I think
if I'm guessing this right, I think that's your
ultimate goal for your kids is to make the right
decision with all the knowledge in hand. Correct?
Yes. And I don't think, you know, I was just
talking to a client about this earlier today.
I don't think the goal is to never not react
because we're human, right? We have emotions.
We have, I'm just going to go into the brain,
you know, like we have all these neurochemicals,
like that is just part of being a human on this
planet. But the speed at which we can see what
we are doing and how quickly we can go back to,
let's just call it that state of neutrality and
we can catch ourselves. I think that's the skill
set that I want to teach. um my you know my child
and other people because that once you know that
skill set once you you know how to do that then
whatever comes up you get to see it you get to
see you are separate from it you aren't it's
not who you are and then you get to get back
to to baseline or or yeah i don't want to say
normal but neutrality yeah so let's explore that
i want to explore that skill set what can you
share about about that skill set with us today
Ask me that question a different way. Like, how
do you get good at it? How do you realize that
you're in it? What do you want to know? How do
you recognize, first, there's a need for that
skill set? And I would say second question is,
once you recognize it, how do you improve or
get better at using that skill set? Because we
have already covered why you want to get better.
as that skill set right so let's now let's get
to how how you recognize it and how you improve
on it i think first and foremost you are able
to tell by how you feel in your body. And a lot
of us are not connected to our bodies. I used
to be this way where I act in a very mind -based
approach, and it was almost like my body was
separate from my mind. But how you feel on a
consistent basis, when you look at your P &L,
when you look at your assets, when you get an
IRS letter in the mail, When your kid asks you,
I want to buy X, Y, Z, whatever it is, when those
money things come up, how do you feel in your
body? And if it is not neutral and or expansive
and it feels more contractive or it feels more
sphere based or it feels scared or you feel shame
or guilt, then that is where you get to start
to explore. OK, there is something there for
me to look at. So I would say that would be number
one. And then how do you get good at this skill
set? Awareness typically in the beginning happens
after the fact, right? So you notice, let's just
say that you look at your P &L and you have feelings
around it because it's not what you think it
should be, air quotes, should be. And you are
aware of what emotions and feelings and thoughts
that you are having based on those numbers, that
math staring at you. Then what happens is sometimes
you and you might have a reaction to it, right?
That is that first awareness piece is that you
catch things after the fact. Then the next step
or awareness is you see it happening in real
time, like noticing. Like the other day, I noticed
something with our taxes and I was like, oh,
I saw I felt the feelings coming up with inside
me. And I'm like, I see what's happening here.
And it's almost kind of like I was. watching
what was happening within my body. And I was
like, I saw that separation. I'm like, I'm going
to feel this because clearly this is coming up
to be expressed, to be transcended. And I'm going
to feel this. And then I'm going to, you know,
move through it. And then the other side is that
you intentionally, right? And this doesn't happen
100 % of the time. Like, I don't think we ever
get to this place because I think that puts a
lot of pressure on us. But what is your state
of being? when it comes to yourself with money.
And so is it 70, 80 % of the time that you are
purposely going in with the intention of feeling,
what are the, what are those feelings you want
to feel? Peaceful, calm, confident, empowered,
neutral. Like what are those feelings? And then
practicing those on a daily basis. And then noticing
when you go, you know, into those blips of scarcity
or fear -based and then coming back out. But
that. That kind of happens in a phase, I guess,
you know, your awareness shifts as the more that
you do it, the more that you become aware, the
more that you are connected to yourself and your
body. Let's talk with an example. So I understand
that better. Can you share some of those examples
that actually relate directly to it? So like
I mentioned, like, let's just say that, you know,
some people like there's. apparently like in
the US, you know, we have the IRS. And so for
some people, that's a very triggering thing for
them. Like they have been taught, like you don't
want to be audited. There's a lot of fear around
that. So let's say that they were, they got a
letter in the mail and maybe it was just inside
the letter was, Hey, we noticed you changed your
address. If this is not correct, let us know.
But you see that letter from the Internal Revenue
Service and then you feel those feelings, right?
You think, oh my goodness, I don't want to open
it up. I don't want to open the letter. Or you
think, oh my goodness, what happened? Am I being
audited? Or you think, you know, the thousand
thoughts that you might think or feel and then
recognizing if you were in the first stage of
awareness, you may not even notice that that's
what's happening, right? So you would open up
the envelope and then you would be, you would
read it and they would say, oh, they just are
confirming that I changed my address. Then you
could look back and be like, oh, look how I felt
in my body when I saw that in the mailbox. So
that's that late, you know, that's that first
stage of awareness. If you're in the middle stage
of awareness, you would be opening up the letter
and you'd be like, I noticed what's happening
in my body. I am feeling fear or I'm feeling
maybe shame and I'm recognizing this and I'm,
I'm, allowing this to pass through me and you
know i do a lot of like hand on heart somatic
work of like okay i see what's happening here
this is an old story that's coming up that's
you know wanting to be released and then if you
were on the other side of you've practiced in
your mind you've actually practiced receiving
the irs statement and when you get it you feel
nothing that is the other side of the awareness
so this So someone gets an IRS statement and
they think of the worst case scenario. Sometimes
they do. Yeah. And worst case scenario. But this
method helps them in case there is a worst case
scenario. Right? Well, that's one piece. And
maybe the IRS isn't the best statement. When
you are practicing, who is the person that has
a calm and neutral relationship with money? That's
what you want to be practicing. So that comes
with meditation and envisioning. Because the
brain and the body, they don't know any different
between actual what's happening between me and
you right here or if I were to have rehearsed
this interview 60 times. The body doesn't know
any different. So you start rehearsing who is,
and this is where it really gets down to who
is the person that feels calm and trusts, you
know, themselves with money. And that is empowered.
And that is, and I would say even neutral with
money. Like you're not super high when you have
a lot of money and you're not, you know, swinging
low when you don't. So really focusing on how
do I want to be, who is the person that has a
neutral. peaceful relationship with money. Thank
you for being here today. I'm really happy that
you tuned in to Vision Pros Live. I'm looking
forward to seeing your reactions as these episodes
continue to move forward. This is going to get
more and more fun. We'll have more and more engagement
as well. We'll invite people to participate in
the show. And thank you for giving us your time
and attention. Have an excellent time building
out your vision and becoming a vision pro yourself.