Tell me about your vision. Well, I have a vision
in several regards. One is a vision for how our
planet can continue to make progress, both environmentally
and socially. And I think that has a lot to do
with learning the skills associated with conflict
resolution and communication. uh sort of the
civility that uh you know allows people to listen
and uh be empathetic the other vision has to
do with uh continue to work uh and engage people
and inspire people uh to uh around the themes
in my book uh thriving um this is uh This is
my book, and I've done a huge amount of public
speaking and many, many, many dozens and dozens
of podcasts. And I'm very excited about that
because people have a lot of pain points. There's
a lot of confusion people have. Everybody's story
is, of course, different. Some people are doing
fine, but a lot of people get resigned and they
fall flat. And this is especially difficult as
they age. People can't wait to retire, but then
how do they fill their time then? And a lot of
the experience I've had, having been on many...
about 18 boards and having worked for three decades
with people who've run their own companies and
helped them as an investment banker with transactions,
is there's a lot of sticking points, a lot of
points in time through transitions when people
just really don't know how to navigate forward.
And that's really what my book is about. That's
really what this is kind of a compass for getting
through those pain points, the stuckness, the
uncertainties, the figuring out how to be the
kind of person you want to be. So your book,
is it limited to a certain field or it applies
in all areas of your life? Well. You know, I
guess people would tell me the more I focus,
the more I'll penetrate a certain kind of listener
and a market. And I certainly can appreciate
that. But for me and my experience so far over
the last year and a half has been this is a book
that's resonating. And my story is resonating
with people in all stages of life from high school
all the way to retirement homes and everything
in between. A lot of people are asking questions
about retirement. And I said, well, first thing
is don't use that word. Use rewirement because
rewiring allows you to think of a new you and
a new chapter, a new act that you can engage
with, with with more freedom. Maybe, you know,
the stronger, newer you is going to show up in
a great way. So it covers that. To me, thriving,
I have a very high level of talking about thriving.
There are four parts. One part is thriving personally.
And that's a very foundational aspect. It includes
things like knowing yourself and building character,
being grateful. um having your emotions work
well for you and when they're not you really
have to dissect them spend the time to figure
out what to understand yourself and then what
to do about it create some options for yourself
it goes through all that having having purpose
and you don't find purpose you create purpose
it's a big distinction there so that's the first
basically it's half the book it's that foundational
but then it goes to uh thriving with others And
I say in the first part of the book that the
most important relationship you'll ever have
is the relationship you have with yourself. And
hopefully the work that you can do on that will
take care of some of those burdens and some of
the pains and some of the heavy rocks you're
lifting and toss them out so you can be freer
and happier with yourself. But then you move
to this other phase, which is thriving with others.
You know, what is life without having relationships
with others? Very, very few people want to go
sit on the top of the mountain and meditate all
day and not interact. I mean, there are some,
but I've never met one. Part three then moves
to thriving out in the world. And this includes
being of service. This has been an absolute core
to my life since high school. finding things
to be involved with to help either Mother Nature
or other people in one way or another. And it
gives my life so much meaning and so much happiness
to do that work. But it also means being charitable
and being philanthropic. And everybody can be
giving a little of something, certainly their
time and maybe a little financial resources,
hopefully properly focused. So that's part three.
Part four, then, is thriving as we move ever
forward in life. And this is the invitation,
basically, to gain wisdom. We all do. I mean,
this is, you know, people are having experiences
in life and they make mistakes and then they
learn from them. And that's, in essence, what
wisdom is, making good decisions. But it's also
a process of being committed to evolving as a
person. Now, if you look at yourself and you
say, am I the same person I was five or ten years
ago? I'm hoping you're going to say no. I've
learned these things. I've had new experiences.
I've had new people come into my life. Maybe
some other people left. I made some choices about
that and other other times I didn't make that
choice. But. the opportunity to look at yourself
and say, I am evolving. I am becoming a better
person. Hemingway, Ernest Hemingway once said,
nobility is not being superior to another person.
True nobility is being superior to your former
self. And that's what this fourth phase is. So
as I say, I have a very high bar. for thriving.
If you just did one of those four, I'm happy
for you. That's good. And hopefully you start
with the first one, thriving personally. But
I don't really think, frankly, you can sustain
any one of those thriving elements without doing
all four. And the beauty is that they're all
interconnected and they reinforce, they give
you energy, they give you a sense of aliveness
and vitality. And that's really, in a nutshell,
Harry, what I'm engaging with people about. That's
awesome. Thank you for sharing that with me today,
Rand. What would you say is your why? What gets
you out of bed every morning to do this? Yeah,
well, as I said a few minutes ago, being of service
is a huge part of my almost basic DNA. I do things
for myself. Absolutely. I take care of myself
physically. I consider my emotional health. I
consider my spiritual health. All those things.
I take care of my finances. Those are about me.
And I have a lot of commitments that I make to
me and my family. And I honor those. Going beyond
that, what gives me the energy is this commitment
to get out in the world and make this world a
better place for the little bit, the little bit
that I can contribute. Wow. Thank you for sharing
that. I think a lot of times, at least for me,
people get caught up in the things of how big
of a monster you're trying to fight to make the
world a better place. Don't focus on the small
aspects, the small change that you can make to
make someone's life better instead of everyone's
life better. Great point. Great, great point.
It's not about the big headlines. It's absolutely
not. It's about you just getting the recognition.
You see that what you did, put a smile on somebody's
face, made them... in some way or another, maybe
it's an animal, maybe it's, you know, the environment
you're living in, something, you know, you know
that this was a good thing and you helped. And
maybe you get feedback. Maybe you get a thank
you and maybe you don't. That's OK. You just
have to know that it's OK. Hopefully you've got
support in your life. You've built that and you've
invested in it. And people say, hey, look, I
just saw you. And that was amazing. You know,
I'm so pleased to know you. for who you are.
Rand, would you say that maybe at a certain point,
there's a story or the story that's behind your
why that made you start on this path of writing
the book, thriving, or more so living the book,
thriving? Yeah, thank you for that distinction,
Harry. Yes, I am trying to live it. There was
a time about a year and a half ago where I developed,
I think it was an autoimmune reaction to a spider
bite or something. And boy, I was in the most
physical pain I've been in a very long time.
And I thought, how can I be the poster child
for this book thriving when I'm in such pain,
when I can't sleep through the night, when all
the things I'm telling people. I'm not currently
living. I had for a long, long time and I am
again, fortunately, back into that place. But
I've had to work very hard to regain that that
health, that physical health, which, of course,
translates quickly into your emotional health.
So is there one thing, you know, I like to say
that I. picked really good parents. My father
is a person who has a huge moral compass and
is a very disciplined guy. And those two, amongst
a variety of others, were great gifts. He also
taught me to have friends of all ages. And I'm
very delighted to say I have friends who are
older than I am and people who are less than
half my age. And it just enriches my life, absolutely.
And it gives me a chance to share with them.
things as well, both whether they're younger
or older. So my dad's amazing. He passed away
last August, but he's here. He's here with me
whenever I think of him. I can hear his voice.
He was buried at Arlington National Cemetery,
and rightfully so after a huge commitment, a
service commitment to our country. And I have
a fantastic mom. She taught me to read. She is
a scientist, so she loves, you know, learning
how things work. She's very curious. She loves
animals. She loves nature. And both of them are
about service. And, you know, that's the message.
So I saw this growing up. And it affected me.
You know, the kind of service I do is very different
than the service they've done. And that's fine.
You know, I'm me. I built me on top of this great
foundation of what I learned from them. But I
think I have to add that I've had to overcome
some difficulties. And I think those forged the
additional strength of being the kind of person
and committed to being an even better person.
And I'm thankful to have had that. I don't think
people do a great job if everything comes easily.
I think whether we like it or not, the biggest
things in our lives are because of difficulties
that we've overcome. Wow. Thank you for sharing
that. Tell me more about some of those difficulties.
I think our audience will love to hear your story,
like what you went through. Well, I think there
are several I've talked about. One, since I mentioned
my father, amazing, amazing person, a towering
figure, but also maybe kind of like old bull,
new bull. We had a tough time. It was very hard.
It was not until I was well into my 40s that
I realized he was not going to change. This relationship
I had, which was really tense and difficult,
was not providing what I needed. I needed to
change. And so I began listening to him more.
I began respecting him more. I was willing to
hear him tell me for the many tenth time a story
I'd heard before. But I was patient and I asked
questions and that changed the relationship with
him. And that was huge. It also made me realize
that he is. who he is, and I can learn from him
and learn from mistakes he's made or learn from
things that he's doing that I didn't want to
do. So that was another kind of interesting way
to think about learning. But that was good. And
I felt really good about shifting and making
that relationship a valuable relationship. I
would say another thing is starting my own company.
To start my own company, I was working for one
of the big investment banking firms, Wall Street
based firms. I've been doing that for a dozen
years, different firms. And I realized I really
didn't like it. I had a boss that was not the
right boss for me. I hated meetings. And I thought
to myself, well, wow, maybe I should just change
careers. Maybe I should become a forest ranger.
And I went through a process that took several
years that was about identifying really what
mattered to me. And what I realized was I was
really good at what I do as an investment banker,
transactions, negotiating, building relationships,
clarifying objectives. These were things I was
really good at and I liked to do it, but I had
to do it on my terms. So I created my own firm.
And so no more meetings. It was great. And I
could pick my clients and I could pick the focus
for what we offered to our clients. And that
was that was a huge win. A huge win. Absolutely.
And I think another big obstacle was the one
I mentioned about the physical thing. This this
autoimmune disease that I've had, I've had since
my early 20s. and it became very there have been
times it's a stress released uh thing so the
career i've had just stimulated more of these
things but i've had to you know see it coming
you know when i got into a very stressful situation
i said i need to take care of myself more i need
to you know put in my schedule more sleep time.
I need to maybe go for a massage, do some meditating.
And I injected those things. And so instead of
doing them just as they were about to lead to
a problem, I said, well, bring this into my everyday
kind of life. And so I did. And I had a lot of
energy, a huge amount of energy. And biologically,
I test about 12 years younger than my chronological
age and people are amazed i said you know it's
hard to believe that uh you you're doing what
you're doing you're doing all these things i
said because they they are worth doing and they
give me you know it defines a reason as you were
saying to get up in the morning and get going
wow thank you for sharing that i think if i look
at The most fulfilling times in my life, Rand,
I think they have been based around, I think,
servicing more people. Nothing else, I think,
even comes close to fulfilling than that did.
Thank you for your time with us today, Rand.
I had a great time talking to you. Your stories
are inspiring. I think our audience will enjoy
some of what you mentioned and apply to their
lives. All you guys, we have heard from Rand
Selig today, the author of Thriving. You can
find him on his website, randselig .com. And
we'll for sure hear from him again in the next
coming episode. Thank you for being here today.
I'm really happy that you tuned in to Vision
Pros Live. I'm looking forward to seeing your
reactions as these episodes continue to move
forward. This is going to get more and more fun.
We'll have more and more engagement as well.
We'll invite people to participate in the show.
And thank you for giving us your time and attention.
Have an excellent time building out your vision
and becoming a vision pro yourself.