WEBVTT

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Tell me about your vision. Well, I have a vision

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in several regards. One is a vision for how our

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planet can continue to make progress, both environmentally

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and socially. And I think that has a lot to do

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with learning the skills associated with conflict

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resolution and communication. uh sort of the

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civility that uh you know allows people to listen

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and uh be empathetic the other vision has to

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do with uh continue to work uh and engage people

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and inspire people uh to uh around the themes

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in my book uh thriving um this is uh This is

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my book, and I've done a huge amount of public

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speaking and many, many, many dozens and dozens

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of podcasts. And I'm very excited about that

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because people have a lot of pain points. There's

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a lot of confusion people have. Everybody's story

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is, of course, different. Some people are doing

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fine, but a lot of people get resigned and they

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fall flat. And this is especially difficult as

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they age. People can't wait to retire, but then

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how do they fill their time then? And a lot of

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the experience I've had, having been on many...

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about 18 boards and having worked for three decades

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with people who've run their own companies and

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helped them as an investment banker with transactions,

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is there's a lot of sticking points, a lot of

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points in time through transitions when people

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just really don't know how to navigate forward.

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And that's really what my book is about. That's

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really what this is kind of a compass for getting

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through those pain points, the stuckness, the

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uncertainties, the figuring out how to be the

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kind of person you want to be. So your book,

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is it limited to a certain field or it applies

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in all areas of your life? Well. You know, I

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guess people would tell me the more I focus,

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the more I'll penetrate a certain kind of listener

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and a market. And I certainly can appreciate

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that. But for me and my experience so far over

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the last year and a half has been this is a book

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that's resonating. And my story is resonating

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with people in all stages of life from high school

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all the way to retirement homes and everything

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in between. A lot of people are asking questions

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about retirement. And I said, well, first thing

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is don't use that word. Use rewirement because

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rewiring allows you to think of a new you and

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a new chapter, a new act that you can engage

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with, with with more freedom. Maybe, you know,

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the stronger, newer you is going to show up in

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a great way. So it covers that. To me, thriving,

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I have a very high level of talking about thriving.

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There are four parts. One part is thriving personally.

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And that's a very foundational aspect. It includes

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things like knowing yourself and building character,

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being grateful. um having your emotions work

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well for you and when they're not you really

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have to dissect them spend the time to figure

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out what to understand yourself and then what

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to do about it create some options for yourself

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it goes through all that having having purpose

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and you don't find purpose you create purpose

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it's a big distinction there so that's the first

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basically it's half the book it's that foundational

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but then it goes to uh thriving with others And

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I say in the first part of the book that the

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most important relationship you'll ever have

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is the relationship you have with yourself. And

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hopefully the work that you can do on that will

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take care of some of those burdens and some of

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the pains and some of the heavy rocks you're

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lifting and toss them out so you can be freer

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and happier with yourself. But then you move

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to this other phase, which is thriving with others.

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You know, what is life without having relationships

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with others? Very, very few people want to go

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sit on the top of the mountain and meditate all

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day and not interact. I mean, there are some,

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but I've never met one. Part three then moves

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to thriving out in the world. And this includes

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being of service. This has been an absolute core

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to my life since high school. finding things

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to be involved with to help either Mother Nature

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or other people in one way or another. And it

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gives my life so much meaning and so much happiness

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to do that work. But it also means being charitable

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and being philanthropic. And everybody can be

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giving a little of something, certainly their

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time and maybe a little financial resources,

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hopefully properly focused. So that's part three.

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Part four, then, is thriving as we move ever

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forward in life. And this is the invitation,

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basically, to gain wisdom. We all do. I mean,

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this is, you know, people are having experiences

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in life and they make mistakes and then they

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learn from them. And that's, in essence, what

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wisdom is, making good decisions. But it's also

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a process of being committed to evolving as a

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person. Now, if you look at yourself and you

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say, am I the same person I was five or ten years

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ago? I'm hoping you're going to say no. I've

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learned these things. I've had new experiences.

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I've had new people come into my life. Maybe

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some other people left. I made some choices about

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that and other other times I didn't make that

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choice. But. the opportunity to look at yourself

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and say, I am evolving. I am becoming a better

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person. Hemingway, Ernest Hemingway once said,

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nobility is not being superior to another person.

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True nobility is being superior to your former

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self. And that's what this fourth phase is. So

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as I say, I have a very high bar. for thriving.

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If you just did one of those four, I'm happy

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for you. That's good. And hopefully you start

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with the first one, thriving personally. But

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I don't really think, frankly, you can sustain

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any one of those thriving elements without doing

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all four. And the beauty is that they're all

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interconnected and they reinforce, they give

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you energy, they give you a sense of aliveness

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and vitality. And that's really, in a nutshell,

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Harry, what I'm engaging with people about. That's

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awesome. Thank you for sharing that with me today,

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Rand. What would you say is your why? What gets

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you out of bed every morning to do this? Yeah,

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well, as I said a few minutes ago, being of service

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is a huge part of my almost basic DNA. I do things

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for myself. Absolutely. I take care of myself

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physically. I consider my emotional health. I

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consider my spiritual health. All those things.

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I take care of my finances. Those are about me.

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And I have a lot of commitments that I make to

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me and my family. And I honor those. Going beyond

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that, what gives me the energy is this commitment

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to get out in the world and make this world a

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better place for the little bit, the little bit

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that I can contribute. Wow. Thank you for sharing

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that. I think a lot of times, at least for me,

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people get caught up in the things of how big

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of a monster you're trying to fight to make the

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world a better place. Don't focus on the small

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aspects, the small change that you can make to

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make someone's life better instead of everyone's

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life better. Great point. Great, great point.

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It's not about the big headlines. It's absolutely

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not. It's about you just getting the recognition.

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You see that what you did, put a smile on somebody's

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face, made them... in some way or another, maybe

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it's an animal, maybe it's, you know, the environment

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you're living in, something, you know, you know

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that this was a good thing and you helped. And

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maybe you get feedback. Maybe you get a thank

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you and maybe you don't. That's OK. You just

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have to know that it's OK. Hopefully you've got

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support in your life. You've built that and you've

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invested in it. And people say, hey, look, I

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just saw you. And that was amazing. You know,

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I'm so pleased to know you. for who you are.

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Rand, would you say that maybe at a certain point,

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there's a story or the story that's behind your

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why that made you start on this path of writing

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the book, thriving, or more so living the book,

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thriving? Yeah, thank you for that distinction,

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Harry. Yes, I am trying to live it. There was

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a time about a year and a half ago where I developed,

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I think it was an autoimmune reaction to a spider

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bite or something. And boy, I was in the most

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physical pain I've been in a very long time.

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And I thought, how can I be the poster child

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for this book thriving when I'm in such pain,

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when I can't sleep through the night, when all

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the things I'm telling people. I'm not currently

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living. I had for a long, long time and I am

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again, fortunately, back into that place. But

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I've had to work very hard to regain that that

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health, that physical health, which, of course,

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translates quickly into your emotional health.

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So is there one thing, you know, I like to say

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that I. picked really good parents. My father

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is a person who has a huge moral compass and

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is a very disciplined guy. And those two, amongst

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a variety of others, were great gifts. He also

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taught me to have friends of all ages. And I'm

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very delighted to say I have friends who are

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older than I am and people who are less than

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half my age. And it just enriches my life, absolutely.

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And it gives me a chance to share with them.

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things as well, both whether they're younger

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or older. So my dad's amazing. He passed away

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last August, but he's here. He's here with me

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whenever I think of him. I can hear his voice.

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He was buried at Arlington National Cemetery,

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and rightfully so after a huge commitment, a

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service commitment to our country. And I have

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a fantastic mom. She taught me to read. She is

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a scientist, so she loves, you know, learning

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how things work. She's very curious. She loves

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animals. She loves nature. And both of them are

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about service. And, you know, that's the message.

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So I saw this growing up. And it affected me.

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You know, the kind of service I do is very different

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than the service they've done. And that's fine.

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You know, I'm me. I built me on top of this great

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foundation of what I learned from them. But I

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think I have to add that I've had to overcome

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some difficulties. And I think those forged the

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additional strength of being the kind of person

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and committed to being an even better person.

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And I'm thankful to have had that. I don't think

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people do a great job if everything comes easily.

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I think whether we like it or not, the biggest

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things in our lives are because of difficulties

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that we've overcome. Wow. Thank you for sharing

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that. Tell me more about some of those difficulties.

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I think our audience will love to hear your story,

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like what you went through. Well, I think there

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are several I've talked about. One, since I mentioned

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my father, amazing, amazing person, a towering

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figure, but also maybe kind of like old bull,

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new bull. We had a tough time. It was very hard.

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It was not until I was well into my 40s that

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I realized he was not going to change. This relationship

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I had, which was really tense and difficult,

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was not providing what I needed. I needed to

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change. And so I began listening to him more.

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I began respecting him more. I was willing to

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hear him tell me for the many tenth time a story

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I'd heard before. But I was patient and I asked

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questions and that changed the relationship with

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him. And that was huge. It also made me realize

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that he is. who he is, and I can learn from him

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and learn from mistakes he's made or learn from

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things that he's doing that I didn't want to

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do. So that was another kind of interesting way

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to think about learning. But that was good. And

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I felt really good about shifting and making

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that relationship a valuable relationship. I

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would say another thing is starting my own company.

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To start my own company, I was working for one

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of the big investment banking firms, Wall Street

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based firms. I've been doing that for a dozen

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years, different firms. And I realized I really

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didn't like it. I had a boss that was not the

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right boss for me. I hated meetings. And I thought

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to myself, well, wow, maybe I should just change

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careers. Maybe I should become a forest ranger.

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And I went through a process that took several

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years that was about identifying really what

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mattered to me. And what I realized was I was

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really good at what I do as an investment banker,

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transactions, negotiating, building relationships,

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clarifying objectives. These were things I was

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really good at and I liked to do it, but I had

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to do it on my terms. So I created my own firm.

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And so no more meetings. It was great. And I

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could pick my clients and I could pick the focus

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for what we offered to our clients. And that

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was that was a huge win. A huge win. Absolutely.

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And I think another big obstacle was the one

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I mentioned about the physical thing. This this

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autoimmune disease that I've had, I've had since

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my early 20s. and it became very there have been

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times it's a stress released uh thing so the

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career i've had just stimulated more of these

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things but i've had to you know see it coming

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you know when i got into a very stressful situation

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i said i need to take care of myself more i need

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to you know put in my schedule more sleep time.

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I need to maybe go for a massage, do some meditating.

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And I injected those things. And so instead of

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doing them just as they were about to lead to

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a problem, I said, well, bring this into my everyday

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kind of life. And so I did. And I had a lot of

00:16:58.700 --> 00:17:02.080
energy, a huge amount of energy. And biologically,

00:17:02.200 --> 00:17:06.630
I test about 12 years younger than my chronological

00:17:06.630 --> 00:17:10.029
age and people are amazed i said you know it's

00:17:10.029 --> 00:17:13.769
hard to believe that uh you you're doing what

00:17:13.769 --> 00:17:16.210
you're doing you're doing all these things i

00:17:16.210 --> 00:17:20.309
said because they they are worth doing and they

00:17:20.309 --> 00:17:25.450
give me you know it defines a reason as you were

00:17:25.450 --> 00:17:27.650
saying to get up in the morning and get going

00:17:27.650 --> 00:17:31.769
wow thank you for sharing that i think if i look

00:17:31.769 --> 00:17:35.049
at The most fulfilling times in my life, Rand,

00:17:35.170 --> 00:17:39.069
I think they have been based around, I think,

00:17:39.089 --> 00:17:42.930
servicing more people. Nothing else, I think,

00:17:42.950 --> 00:17:47.710
even comes close to fulfilling than that did.

00:17:48.549 --> 00:17:52.809
Thank you for your time with us today, Rand.

00:17:53.009 --> 00:17:55.369
I had a great time talking to you. Your stories

00:17:55.369 --> 00:18:00.380
are inspiring. I think our audience will enjoy

00:18:00.380 --> 00:18:02.660
some of what you mentioned and apply to their

00:18:02.660 --> 00:18:06.079
lives. All you guys, we have heard from Rand

00:18:06.079 --> 00:18:08.420
Selig today, the author of Thriving. You can

00:18:08.420 --> 00:18:12.660
find him on his website, randselig .com. And

00:18:12.660 --> 00:18:15.220
we'll for sure hear from him again in the next

00:18:15.220 --> 00:18:18.000
coming episode. Thank you for being here today.

00:18:18.180 --> 00:18:19.940
I'm really happy that you tuned in to Vision

00:18:19.940 --> 00:18:22.559
Pros Live. I'm looking forward to seeing your

00:18:22.559 --> 00:18:25.359
reactions as these episodes continue to move

00:18:25.359 --> 00:18:27.319
forward. This is going to get more and more fun.

00:18:27.339 --> 00:18:29.200
We'll have more and more engagement as well.

00:18:29.220 --> 00:18:31.140
We'll invite people to participate in the show.

00:18:31.259 --> 00:18:33.319
And thank you for giving us your time and attention.

00:18:33.599 --> 00:18:36.220
Have an excellent time building out your vision

00:18:36.220 --> 00:18:37.579
and becoming a vision pro yourself.
