WEBVTT 00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:04.700 We would love to know some of the stories that 00:00:04.700 --> 00:00:11.359 pertain to your why. Absolutely. So kind of the 00:00:11.359 --> 00:00:13.939 why behind the why for me. Do you want to maybe 00:00:13.939 --> 00:00:16.719 pick which area you want me to go into here? 00:00:16.760 --> 00:00:18.280 I know we discussed a couple different things 00:00:18.280 --> 00:00:21.620 on the last show that I was on with you. So feel 00:00:21.620 --> 00:00:23.620 free to lead the way in terms of what you'd like 00:00:23.620 --> 00:00:28.420 me to start with. So your why of what you do 00:00:28.420 --> 00:00:31.820 now. and what you represent now by your vision, 00:00:31.879 --> 00:00:34.179 I think that would be a good start. Perfect. 00:00:34.600 --> 00:00:37.439 Yeah, to dive into that, Harry, I would say, 00:00:37.500 --> 00:00:40.179 and I mean, back to what I said on the last podcast 00:00:40.179 --> 00:00:42.500 when I was here with you, I love your model of 00:00:42.500 --> 00:00:44.979 the show with what your vision is, right? You're 00:00:44.979 --> 00:00:47.939 a solid boat, being a pro at your vision. And 00:00:47.939 --> 00:00:50.600 I think that for me personally, and this kind 00:00:50.600 --> 00:00:52.420 of is tapping into this a little bit deeper than 00:00:52.420 --> 00:00:56.500 what we went into last week, was when I think... 00:00:56.799 --> 00:01:00.859 It would have been around 2020, end of 2021 is 00:01:00.859 --> 00:01:03.979 when I started the Amante Talks events. Those 00:01:03.979 --> 00:01:06.200 are the larger events and kind of the seed that 00:01:06.200 --> 00:01:08.780 was planted in that. I was at another entrepreneur's 00:01:08.780 --> 00:01:11.859 event in Kelowna, large scale one. And I was 00:01:11.859 --> 00:01:14.599 just so inspired by the impact that was created. 00:01:14.659 --> 00:01:16.879 And that was like the seed planted. I left and 00:01:16.879 --> 00:01:20.040 I was like, I want to do one of these. What kind 00:01:20.040 --> 00:01:22.579 of filtered beyond that was I think oftentimes 00:01:22.579 --> 00:01:24.900 in life, there's not, at least in the community 00:01:24.900 --> 00:01:26.980 we're in, there's incredibly talented entrepreneurs, 00:01:27.359 --> 00:01:29.760 philanthropists, people that are making exceptional 00:01:29.760 --> 00:01:32.319 impact. There's not enough of a stage sometimes 00:01:32.319 --> 00:01:34.700 for people just to be called up and say, hey. 00:01:35.019 --> 00:01:37.500 We want you to speak, share your impact. Obviously, 00:01:37.579 --> 00:01:40.120 you know, oftentimes there's a huge price tag 00:01:40.120 --> 00:01:41.840 attached to it. I didn't want that. I just wanted 00:01:41.840 --> 00:01:44.659 to be able to really highlight and spotlight 00:01:44.659 --> 00:01:47.040 some incredible people doing incredible things 00:01:47.040 --> 00:01:50.159 and have their story be illuminated in that way. 00:01:50.219 --> 00:01:52.400 So that's kind of how that started. I really 00:01:52.400 --> 00:01:54.019 didn't know what the impact would look like. 00:01:54.200 --> 00:01:56.400 But what ended up happening, Harry, was when 00:01:56.400 --> 00:01:58.659 I started the first event, I think it was maybe 00:01:58.659 --> 00:02:01.799 I didn't put the word out till about a week prior. 00:02:02.750 --> 00:02:04.969 um and it was one of those things that i started 00:02:04.969 --> 00:02:08.069 planning like a month maybe prior to and i was 00:02:08.069 --> 00:02:09.490 like i don't know what's going to happen or if 00:02:09.490 --> 00:02:11.030 anyone's going to show up and it was just one 00:02:11.030 --> 00:02:13.389 of these things where the doors opened the audience 00:02:13.389 --> 00:02:16.050 filled up and just seeing the tears in the audience 00:02:16.050 --> 00:02:18.550 and how they were moved by the messages of each 00:02:18.550 --> 00:02:20.830 of the speakers it was really really clear to 00:02:20.830 --> 00:02:23.370 me that there was a succinct message that and 00:02:23.370 --> 00:02:26.819 a vision and a why as to why this was this needed 00:02:26.819 --> 00:02:29.500 to happen time and time again. So we've done 00:02:29.500 --> 00:02:33.080 several of those large events now featuring speakers 00:02:33.080 --> 00:02:35.800 from all over, which I feel very grateful for 00:02:35.800 --> 00:02:38.580 to have that opportunity. But the smaller ones, 00:02:38.699 --> 00:02:40.960 which were the women's conferences, that's kind 00:02:40.960 --> 00:02:43.819 of, it would have been, I did my first large 00:02:43.819 --> 00:02:47.020 Amante Talks event the end of 2021, I guess it 00:02:47.020 --> 00:02:49.180 would have been. And then it would have been 00:02:49.180 --> 00:02:52.560 in 2022 when all of that kind of started in terms 00:02:52.560 --> 00:02:56.919 of. As a female, personally, I think that in 00:02:56.919 --> 00:02:58.560 the entrepreneurial world or even just in the 00:02:58.560 --> 00:03:01.020 corporate world, I don't know how much of a support 00:03:01.020 --> 00:03:04.560 system a lot of female businesswomen have in 00:03:04.560 --> 00:03:06.960 terms of just having a place where they can come 00:03:06.960 --> 00:03:08.780 together up with one another. And I personally 00:03:08.780 --> 00:03:12.039 wasn't seeing that culture in the town that I 00:03:12.039 --> 00:03:14.039 or the city, I should say, that I was living 00:03:14.039 --> 00:03:17.439 in. So Kelowna, if you're looking at 200 ,000 00:03:17.439 --> 00:03:20.900 people. It's a beautiful place, but I was like, 00:03:20.919 --> 00:03:22.199 you know, there's not a lot of communities that 00:03:22.199 --> 00:03:25.400 are really genuinely uplifting one another for 00:03:25.400 --> 00:03:27.439 the incredible work that they're doing. So I 00:03:27.439 --> 00:03:29.680 started the first women's conference. It was 00:03:29.680 --> 00:03:32.199 a bit more of a small scale, 20 to 30 people. 00:03:32.479 --> 00:03:34.039 Same thing. I was like, I wonder if anyone's 00:03:34.039 --> 00:03:37.159 going to actually show up. Of course, everyone 00:03:37.159 --> 00:03:39.659 was there, highly engaged. There were so many 00:03:39.659 --> 00:03:42.620 tears shed, just beautiful, impactful moments 00:03:42.620 --> 00:03:45.020 and actually some stories. till this day that 00:03:45.020 --> 00:03:48.060 we still tell it our present women's conferences 00:03:48.060 --> 00:03:50.319 just from the impact created. And I would say 00:03:50.319 --> 00:03:54.139 here, my one of my greatest, I don't want to 00:03:54.139 --> 00:03:56.800 say it's my why, I think for a long time, my 00:03:56.800 --> 00:03:59.319 why was because my brother had passed away in 00:03:59.319 --> 00:04:01.979 a car accident, I was born into the world after 00:04:01.979 --> 00:04:06.000 him given the female version of his name. I very 00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:09.439 much for a long time had that be the It was a 00:04:09.439 --> 00:04:12.960 very present why in my life. I think I structured 00:04:12.960 --> 00:04:15.500 a lot maybe to a fault around that as I was like, 00:04:15.539 --> 00:04:18.459 well, I wasn't even supposed to be here. I was 00:04:18.459 --> 00:04:21.259 born because he passed. How can I make every 00:04:21.259 --> 00:04:25.079 single moment on this earth as powerful and impactful 00:04:25.079 --> 00:04:27.360 as I can, making the world a better place or 00:04:27.360 --> 00:04:30.060 even the people around me having a good impact 00:04:30.060 --> 00:04:33.370 on them? Then, you know, like that expression, 00:04:33.569 --> 00:04:35.930 having the when you leave a room, what kind of 00:04:35.930 --> 00:04:38.009 impact are you leaving? Right. Are we impacting 00:04:38.009 --> 00:04:40.370 them in a beautiful and positive way? Are we 00:04:40.370 --> 00:04:43.410 are we demolishing everything around us? And 00:04:43.410 --> 00:04:46.509 so that was my why for a really long time. And 00:04:46.509 --> 00:04:49.110 I think that that definitely filtered originally 00:04:49.110 --> 00:04:51.629 into why I did those events and why I started 00:04:51.629 --> 00:04:53.709 speaking. And really, I mean, I didn't really 00:04:53.709 --> 00:04:55.089 have a choice in that. I just started getting 00:04:55.089 --> 00:04:57.050 asked to speak at events and that started to 00:04:57.050 --> 00:05:00.300 build and build. with that consistency or that 00:05:00.300 --> 00:05:02.939 momentum I should say but I think what ended 00:05:02.939 --> 00:05:05.579 up really happening was my why shifted away from 00:05:05.579 --> 00:05:08.439 my brother died I'm here I have to make the most 00:05:08.439 --> 00:05:10.600 of this and I want to impact people in such a 00:05:10.600 --> 00:05:12.660 beautiful way that he did and instead it kind 00:05:12.660 --> 00:05:16.560 of shifted in the realm of we have such a beautiful 00:05:16.560 --> 00:05:20.060 gift of like we can do something so powerful 00:05:20.060 --> 00:05:23.350 by really seeing people for who they are. And 00:05:23.350 --> 00:05:25.709 I think that that was what fascinated me was 00:05:25.709 --> 00:05:27.930 that when I was in these room of these women, 00:05:28.089 --> 00:05:30.449 you know, a lot of them would leave and they're 00:05:30.449 --> 00:05:33.089 like, I haven't felt this seen and heard in a 00:05:33.089 --> 00:05:35.209 really long time, if not ever in my life. And 00:05:35.209 --> 00:05:38.449 I'm like. How is that possible? And it's just, 00:05:38.470 --> 00:05:40.430 I think that is the world that we live in. Like 00:05:40.430 --> 00:05:42.449 we were talking before, there's a lot of comparison. 00:05:42.550 --> 00:05:44.569 There's a lot of self -doubt, self -criticism. 00:05:45.550 --> 00:05:47.569 We as human beings are exceptionally hard on 00:05:47.569 --> 00:05:49.970 ourselves. And I think my why has now shifted 00:05:49.970 --> 00:05:53.449 into when I step onto a stage or I execute a 00:05:53.449 --> 00:05:56.649 training or a workshop or a conference in a room, 00:05:56.750 --> 00:05:59.449 I want every single person, at least one person 00:05:59.449 --> 00:06:01.870 in that room to feel. when they leave, that they're 00:06:01.870 --> 00:06:04.250 so much more than just a number, that they're 00:06:04.250 --> 00:06:07.410 a human being that deserves to be seen for who 00:06:07.410 --> 00:06:10.610 they are. And yes, we all have inner child in 00:06:10.610 --> 00:06:12.529 us telling us we don't belong to some degree 00:06:12.529 --> 00:06:15.050 or that we have things about us that perhaps 00:06:15.050 --> 00:06:17.490 we should shift or change or that aren't enough. 00:06:17.930 --> 00:06:20.550 But when we're able to plant those seeds in those 00:06:20.550 --> 00:06:22.610 human beings to let them know that that's not 00:06:22.610 --> 00:06:24.829 the case and there's so much more than what we 00:06:24.829 --> 00:06:28.389 think, perceive ourselves to be, I think that 00:06:28.389 --> 00:06:31.399 we leave a really beautiful gift around us. In 00:06:31.399 --> 00:06:35.139 the process. Thank you for sharing that, Francesca. 00:06:35.720 --> 00:06:41.019 You're welcome. A lot of times when I think this 00:06:41.019 --> 00:06:44.720 is something I realized a while ago where we 00:06:44.720 --> 00:06:50.139 as human beings treat others far better than 00:06:50.139 --> 00:06:52.199 we treat ourselves. Like we treat ourselves probably 00:06:52.199 --> 00:06:55.339 the worst out of everyone else that we treat. 00:06:55.519 --> 00:06:58.100 And it's just a reflection of how we treat ourselves. 00:07:00.269 --> 00:07:04.589 I think having people see that and loving themselves, 00:07:04.750 --> 00:07:07.670 I think is a very good part of, it's very important 00:07:07.670 --> 00:07:10.790 part of living a human life. I don't know if 00:07:10.790 --> 00:07:14.129 you're religious or not at all, but in the Bible, 00:07:14.230 --> 00:07:17.889 one of the words clearly says in one of the commandments, 00:07:18.009 --> 00:07:21.029 like love thy neighbor as thyself, right? A lot 00:07:21.029 --> 00:07:24.189 of people think on love the neighbor and then 00:07:24.189 --> 00:07:28.149 they forget about as thyself. And when the, as 00:07:28.149 --> 00:07:31.759 thyself, If they are able to do that properly, 00:07:32.019 --> 00:07:37.040 then love thy neighbor can come in place. Oh, 00:07:37.040 --> 00:07:39.540 absolutely. And I think too, Harry, I mean, I 00:07:39.540 --> 00:07:41.279 say this often in some of the talks that I give 00:07:41.279 --> 00:07:43.439 on stage is that when we walk up to a mirror, 00:07:43.639 --> 00:07:46.079 we are so quick to look at ourselves and pick 00:07:46.079 --> 00:07:49.160 apart every little detail and say, why didn't 00:07:49.160 --> 00:07:51.399 I do this better yesterday? We pick apart all 00:07:51.399 --> 00:07:53.560 of that. But if we were, there's actually a powerful, 00:07:53.740 --> 00:07:55.980 and it's science -based, that if you were to 00:07:55.980 --> 00:07:58.100 talk to yourself in third person, that's actually 00:07:58.100 --> 00:07:59.699 how you're able to create that little bit of... 00:08:00.009 --> 00:08:01.829 distance or distinction between how you would 00:08:01.829 --> 00:08:03.610 speak to a friend to how we speak to ourselves. 00:08:03.910 --> 00:08:05.990 If I look in the mirror and I say Francesca, 00:08:05.990 --> 00:08:07.829 and then I start saying a statement to myself, 00:08:08.110 --> 00:08:09.990 all of a sudden I'm not talking about me. I'm 00:08:09.990 --> 00:08:11.889 talking about me in the third person as if I 00:08:11.889 --> 00:08:14.050 were to be saying to a friend, Francesca, you 00:08:14.050 --> 00:08:15.910 know, I value you, I see you or whatever, but 00:08:15.910 --> 00:08:19.069 you're so right, Harry. We don't. We're incredibly 00:08:19.069 --> 00:08:23.000 judgmental of ourselves. They there's so many 00:08:23.000 --> 00:08:26.779 diseases in this world and that are awful. But 00:08:26.779 --> 00:08:29.019 I do think that to an extent, self -doubt is 00:08:29.019 --> 00:08:30.980 one of the biggest killers out there because 00:08:30.980 --> 00:08:32.700 each and every one of us wake up and there's 00:08:32.700 --> 00:08:36.519 some form of impending or this is like debilitating 00:08:36.519 --> 00:08:39.000 self -doubt that people deal with. And the more 00:08:39.000 --> 00:08:41.580 and more that I've gotten to know some of the 00:08:41.580 --> 00:08:43.320 most successful entrepreneurs that I know today. 00:08:43.870 --> 00:08:45.690 When you actually kind of look behind the veil 00:08:45.690 --> 00:08:47.950 and see what they've been struggling with or 00:08:47.950 --> 00:08:49.289 what has brought them to where they are today. 00:08:49.330 --> 00:08:51.590 Don't get me wrong. It's made them strong. It's 00:08:51.590 --> 00:08:54.009 made them the incredible human they are. But 00:08:54.009 --> 00:08:58.289 I think to myself, we almost, to a fault at times, 00:08:58.490 --> 00:09:02.929 induce so much more pain and resistance and suffering 00:09:02.929 --> 00:09:06.090 on ourselves than we probably need to. Yeah. 00:09:07.110 --> 00:09:09.950 So for you, Francesca, I think I want to know 00:09:09.950 --> 00:09:12.600 a little bit more about that. Has there been 00:09:12.600 --> 00:09:15.659 chances? I bet there have. But if you want to 00:09:15.659 --> 00:09:17.759 share some of those stories with the audience 00:09:17.759 --> 00:09:21.700 and how if you did or you did not overcome those 00:09:21.700 --> 00:09:25.799 scenarios and what was the result of those? Absolutely. 00:09:26.259 --> 00:09:31.440 I would say, Harry, that from the childhood perspective, 00:09:31.559 --> 00:09:36.200 because of the circumstances. of how i was brought 00:09:36.200 --> 00:09:39.019 into the world kind of as a stand -in for my 00:09:39.019 --> 00:09:42.139 brother so to speak after his death i've definitely 00:09:42.139 --> 00:09:45.179 recognized that in my adult life there's certain 00:09:45.179 --> 00:09:47.700 circumstances that definitely i have realized 00:09:47.700 --> 00:09:50.200 that i've had to overcome and they come up in 00:09:50.200 --> 00:09:51.879 the most strangest of ways sometimes it'll be 00:09:51.879 --> 00:09:53.980 years later after doing much of the work and 00:09:53.980 --> 00:09:55.720 i'll be like oh here we are again in a completely 00:09:55.720 --> 00:09:57.519 different scenario that that'll come up that 00:09:57.519 --> 00:10:00.580 um it's almost like this belief system of it's 00:10:00.580 --> 00:10:02.200 almost like I believe for a really long time 00:10:02.200 --> 00:10:05.600 I'm simply just a substitute, a stand -in, and 00:10:05.600 --> 00:10:09.059 it couldn't be farther from the truth, but it 00:10:09.059 --> 00:10:11.340 is interesting how there will be the littlest 00:10:11.340 --> 00:10:13.440 of examples that will come up that I'll go, huh, 00:10:13.620 --> 00:10:15.820 I see where that's coming from, and I think one 00:10:15.820 --> 00:10:17.460 of the most beautiful things that we can do is 00:10:17.460 --> 00:10:19.200 actually having this conversation earlier this 00:10:19.200 --> 00:10:22.710 morning with somebody that Often we can do so 00:10:22.710 --> 00:10:26.610 much intellectual work on deepening our understanding 00:10:26.610 --> 00:10:28.690 of ourselves and the people around us and really 00:10:28.690 --> 00:10:32.669 do it on more of a logical level. But sometimes 00:10:32.669 --> 00:10:34.950 the most beautiful healing is going back to our 00:10:34.950 --> 00:10:37.899 past and looking at. What were the things that 00:10:37.899 --> 00:10:41.139 shaped us when we were young children and really 00:10:41.139 --> 00:10:43.220 understanding what parts of ourselves we need 00:10:43.220 --> 00:10:46.139 to go back, speak to and say, hey, whether it's 00:10:46.139 --> 00:10:48.139 going back to that version of ourselves and sitting 00:10:48.139 --> 00:10:50.340 with the feeling that's coming up of maybe not 00:10:50.340 --> 00:10:52.879 belonging. Maybe it was feeling. I mean, I talked 00:10:52.879 --> 00:10:54.559 to so many men and they're like, I felt like 00:10:54.559 --> 00:10:57.159 a failure my whole life. And you look at the 00:10:57.159 --> 00:10:58.879 patterns that they run in their behavior and 00:10:58.879 --> 00:11:01.559 how they challenge certain people in their adult 00:11:01.559 --> 00:11:04.200 life. That's the six year old little boy and 00:11:04.200 --> 00:11:06.840 I'm never feeling like they were actually. worthy 00:11:06.840 --> 00:11:08.659 of that praise from their parents. And I think 00:11:08.659 --> 00:11:11.240 this is something so incredible. It's an opportunity 00:11:11.240 --> 00:11:13.600 for our own growth, but the work's definitely 00:11:13.600 --> 00:11:16.940 not easy and it takes time. But I would say that 00:11:16.940 --> 00:11:18.580 would be one of the things for me that I have 00:11:18.580 --> 00:11:21.759 overcome over the years is really healing those 00:11:21.759 --> 00:11:26.159 parts of the journey. And what was the result 00:11:26.159 --> 00:11:30.460 of that overcoming? Oh, I mean, there's many 00:11:30.460 --> 00:11:32.700 different things that that's shaped into, Harry. 00:11:32.820 --> 00:11:38.159 I would say I recognize now there's certain aspects 00:11:38.159 --> 00:11:40.460 of my path that I'm like, oh, if only I didn't 00:11:40.460 --> 00:11:42.779 have to go through that. But I look now and I 00:11:42.779 --> 00:11:44.759 go that the people that gravitate towards me, 00:11:44.779 --> 00:11:46.379 whether it's in coaching or whether it was all 00:11:46.379 --> 00:11:51.360 the years that I, you know, that I was in, how 00:11:51.360 --> 00:11:54.120 would you call it? All the years that I was, 00:11:54.159 --> 00:11:57.960 like, I mean, I competitive figure skated. There's 00:11:57.960 --> 00:11:59.419 so many different aspects of my journey, but 00:11:59.419 --> 00:12:01.000 it's just really interesting getting to reflect 00:12:01.000 --> 00:12:05.919 back now and understanding. all these times that 00:12:05.919 --> 00:12:07.600 i've stepped on a stage or been asked to speak 00:12:07.600 --> 00:12:09.740 on a stage when i'm just like i'm not the person 00:12:09.740 --> 00:12:12.259 like trust me i'll disappoint you i'm not the 00:12:12.259 --> 00:12:13.779 person that you're looking for this is before 00:12:13.779 --> 00:12:18.429 i even did public speaking and um I recognize 00:12:18.429 --> 00:12:21.029 now in whether it was my years in real estate, 00:12:21.269 --> 00:12:23.690 it would be the most randomness of circumstance 00:12:23.690 --> 00:12:25.789 that someone would enter into my path and I'd 00:12:25.789 --> 00:12:28.029 be helping them sell a house, but it was so much 00:12:28.029 --> 00:12:30.169 more than their house being sold. I helped them 00:12:30.169 --> 00:12:31.789 through a divorce. I helped them through all 00:12:31.789 --> 00:12:34.750 these tough times, grief, loss, death. Had I 00:12:34.750 --> 00:12:37.129 not went through all the different aspects of 00:12:37.129 --> 00:12:39.090 my life leading up to today, would I be the right 00:12:39.090 --> 00:12:41.259 person for them? I would be some person reading 00:12:41.259 --> 00:12:43.799 from a textbook of, oh, here's how you deal with 00:12:43.799 --> 00:12:45.539 this situation. No, I was able to share from 00:12:45.539 --> 00:12:47.679 my own experience. And it was something way more 00:12:47.679 --> 00:12:49.799 powerful than words could ever be. I was actually 00:12:49.799 --> 00:12:51.899 sharing from the heart. You know, that's how 00:12:51.899 --> 00:12:53.279 I've been able to help a lot of people through 00:12:53.279 --> 00:12:55.639 the journey. And I'm very, very grateful for 00:12:55.639 --> 00:12:57.720 that. Thank you for being here today. I'm really 00:12:57.720 --> 00:12:59.700 happy that you tuned in to Vision Pros Live. 00:12:59.879 --> 00:13:02.320 I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions 00:13:02.320 --> 00:13:04.960 as these episodes continue to move forward. This 00:13:04.960 --> 00:13:06.840 is going to get more and more fun. We'll have 00:13:06.840 --> 00:13:08.659 more and more engagement as well. We'll invite 00:13:08.659 --> 00:13:11.059 people to participate in the show. And thank 00:13:11.059 --> 00:13:13.039 you for giving us your time and attention. Have 00:13:13.039 --> 00:13:15.659 an excellent time building out your vision and 00:13:15.659 --> 00:13:16.820 becoming a vision pro yourself.