We would love to know some of the stories that
pertain to your why. Absolutely. So kind of the
why behind the why for me. Do you want to maybe
pick which area you want me to go into here?
I know we discussed a couple different things
on the last show that I was on with you. So feel
free to lead the way in terms of what you'd like
me to start with. So your why of what you do
now. and what you represent now by your vision,
I think that would be a good start. Perfect.
Yeah, to dive into that, Harry, I would say,
and I mean, back to what I said on the last podcast
when I was here with you, I love your model of
the show with what your vision is, right? You're
a solid boat, being a pro at your vision. And
I think that for me personally, and this kind
of is tapping into this a little bit deeper than
what we went into last week, was when I think...
It would have been around 2020, end of 2021 is
when I started the Amante Talks events. Those
are the larger events and kind of the seed that
was planted in that. I was at another entrepreneur's
event in Kelowna, large scale one. And I was
just so inspired by the impact that was created.
And that was like the seed planted. I left and
I was like, I want to do one of these. What kind
of filtered beyond that was I think oftentimes
in life, there's not, at least in the community
we're in, there's incredibly talented entrepreneurs,
philanthropists, people that are making exceptional
impact. There's not enough of a stage sometimes
for people just to be called up and say, hey.
We want you to speak, share your impact. Obviously,
you know, oftentimes there's a huge price tag
attached to it. I didn't want that. I just wanted
to be able to really highlight and spotlight
some incredible people doing incredible things
and have their story be illuminated in that way.
So that's kind of how that started. I really
didn't know what the impact would look like.
But what ended up happening, Harry, was when
I started the first event, I think it was maybe
I didn't put the word out till about a week prior.
um and it was one of those things that i started
planning like a month maybe prior to and i was
like i don't know what's going to happen or if
anyone's going to show up and it was just one
of these things where the doors opened the audience
filled up and just seeing the tears in the audience
and how they were moved by the messages of each
of the speakers it was really really clear to
me that there was a succinct message that and
a vision and a why as to why this was this needed
to happen time and time again. So we've done
several of those large events now featuring speakers
from all over, which I feel very grateful for
to have that opportunity. But the smaller ones,
which were the women's conferences, that's kind
of, it would have been, I did my first large
Amante Talks event the end of 2021, I guess it
would have been. And then it would have been
in 2022 when all of that kind of started in terms
of. As a female, personally, I think that in
the entrepreneurial world or even just in the
corporate world, I don't know how much of a support
system a lot of female businesswomen have in
terms of just having a place where they can come
together up with one another. And I personally
wasn't seeing that culture in the town that I
or the city, I should say, that I was living
in. So Kelowna, if you're looking at 200 ,000
people. It's a beautiful place, but I was like,
you know, there's not a lot of communities that
are really genuinely uplifting one another for
the incredible work that they're doing. So I
started the first women's conference. It was
a bit more of a small scale, 20 to 30 people.
Same thing. I was like, I wonder if anyone's
going to actually show up. Of course, everyone
was there, highly engaged. There were so many
tears shed, just beautiful, impactful moments
and actually some stories. till this day that
we still tell it our present women's conferences
just from the impact created. And I would say
here, my one of my greatest, I don't want to
say it's my why, I think for a long time, my
why was because my brother had passed away in
a car accident, I was born into the world after
him given the female version of his name. I very
much for a long time had that be the It was a
very present why in my life. I think I structured
a lot maybe to a fault around that as I was like,
well, I wasn't even supposed to be here. I was
born because he passed. How can I make every
single moment on this earth as powerful and impactful
as I can, making the world a better place or
even the people around me having a good impact
on them? Then, you know, like that expression,
having the when you leave a room, what kind of
impact are you leaving? Right. Are we impacting
them in a beautiful and positive way? Are we
are we demolishing everything around us? And
so that was my why for a really long time. And
I think that that definitely filtered originally
into why I did those events and why I started
speaking. And really, I mean, I didn't really
have a choice in that. I just started getting
asked to speak at events and that started to
build and build. with that consistency or that
momentum I should say but I think what ended
up really happening was my why shifted away from
my brother died I'm here I have to make the most
of this and I want to impact people in such a
beautiful way that he did and instead it kind
of shifted in the realm of we have such a beautiful
gift of like we can do something so powerful
by really seeing people for who they are. And
I think that that was what fascinated me was
that when I was in these room of these women,
you know, a lot of them would leave and they're
like, I haven't felt this seen and heard in a
really long time, if not ever in my life. And
I'm like. How is that possible? And it's just,
I think that is the world that we live in. Like
we were talking before, there's a lot of comparison.
There's a lot of self -doubt, self -criticism.
We as human beings are exceptionally hard on
ourselves. And I think my why has now shifted
into when I step onto a stage or I execute a
training or a workshop or a conference in a room,
I want every single person, at least one person
in that room to feel. when they leave, that they're
so much more than just a number, that they're
a human being that deserves to be seen for who
they are. And yes, we all have inner child in
us telling us we don't belong to some degree
or that we have things about us that perhaps
we should shift or change or that aren't enough.
But when we're able to plant those seeds in those
human beings to let them know that that's not
the case and there's so much more than what we
think, perceive ourselves to be, I think that
we leave a really beautiful gift around us. In
the process. Thank you for sharing that, Francesca.
You're welcome. A lot of times when I think this
is something I realized a while ago where we
as human beings treat others far better than
we treat ourselves. Like we treat ourselves probably
the worst out of everyone else that we treat.
And it's just a reflection of how we treat ourselves.
I think having people see that and loving themselves,
I think is a very good part of, it's very important
part of living a human life. I don't know if
you're religious or not at all, but in the Bible,
one of the words clearly says in one of the commandments,
like love thy neighbor as thyself, right? A lot
of people think on love the neighbor and then
they forget about as thyself. And when the, as
thyself, If they are able to do that properly,
then love thy neighbor can come in place. Oh,
absolutely. And I think too, Harry, I mean, I
say this often in some of the talks that I give
on stage is that when we walk up to a mirror,
we are so quick to look at ourselves and pick
apart every little detail and say, why didn't
I do this better yesterday? We pick apart all
of that. But if we were, there's actually a powerful,
and it's science -based, that if you were to
talk to yourself in third person, that's actually
how you're able to create that little bit of...
distance or distinction between how you would
speak to a friend to how we speak to ourselves.
If I look in the mirror and I say Francesca,
and then I start saying a statement to myself,
all of a sudden I'm not talking about me. I'm
talking about me in the third person as if I
were to be saying to a friend, Francesca, you
know, I value you, I see you or whatever, but
you're so right, Harry. We don't. We're incredibly
judgmental of ourselves. They there's so many
diseases in this world and that are awful. But
I do think that to an extent, self -doubt is
one of the biggest killers out there because
each and every one of us wake up and there's
some form of impending or this is like debilitating
self -doubt that people deal with. And the more
and more that I've gotten to know some of the
most successful entrepreneurs that I know today.
When you actually kind of look behind the veil
and see what they've been struggling with or
what has brought them to where they are today.
Don't get me wrong. It's made them strong. It's
made them the incredible human they are. But
I think to myself, we almost, to a fault at times,
induce so much more pain and resistance and suffering
on ourselves than we probably need to. Yeah.
So for you, Francesca, I think I want to know
a little bit more about that. Has there been
chances? I bet there have. But if you want to
share some of those stories with the audience
and how if you did or you did not overcome those
scenarios and what was the result of those? Absolutely.
I would say, Harry, that from the childhood perspective,
because of the circumstances. of how i was brought
into the world kind of as a stand -in for my
brother so to speak after his death i've definitely
recognized that in my adult life there's certain
circumstances that definitely i have realized
that i've had to overcome and they come up in
the most strangest of ways sometimes it'll be
years later after doing much of the work and
i'll be like oh here we are again in a completely
different scenario that that'll come up that
um it's almost like this belief system of it's
almost like I believe for a really long time
I'm simply just a substitute, a stand -in, and
it couldn't be farther from the truth, but it
is interesting how there will be the littlest
of examples that will come up that I'll go, huh,
I see where that's coming from, and I think one
of the most beautiful things that we can do is
actually having this conversation earlier this
morning with somebody that Often we can do so
much intellectual work on deepening our understanding
of ourselves and the people around us and really
do it on more of a logical level. But sometimes
the most beautiful healing is going back to our
past and looking at. What were the things that
shaped us when we were young children and really
understanding what parts of ourselves we need
to go back, speak to and say, hey, whether it's
going back to that version of ourselves and sitting
with the feeling that's coming up of maybe not
belonging. Maybe it was feeling. I mean, I talked
to so many men and they're like, I felt like
a failure my whole life. And you look at the
patterns that they run in their behavior and
how they challenge certain people in their adult
life. That's the six year old little boy and
I'm never feeling like they were actually. worthy
of that praise from their parents. And I think
this is something so incredible. It's an opportunity
for our own growth, but the work's definitely
not easy and it takes time. But I would say that
would be one of the things for me that I have
overcome over the years is really healing those
parts of the journey. And what was the result
of that overcoming? Oh, I mean, there's many
different things that that's shaped into, Harry.
I would say I recognize now there's certain aspects
of my path that I'm like, oh, if only I didn't
have to go through that. But I look now and I
go that the people that gravitate towards me,
whether it's in coaching or whether it was all
the years that I, you know, that I was in, how
would you call it? All the years that I was,
like, I mean, I competitive figure skated. There's
so many different aspects of my journey, but
it's just really interesting getting to reflect
back now and understanding. all these times that
i've stepped on a stage or been asked to speak
on a stage when i'm just like i'm not the person
like trust me i'll disappoint you i'm not the
person that you're looking for this is before
i even did public speaking and um I recognize
now in whether it was my years in real estate,
it would be the most randomness of circumstance
that someone would enter into my path and I'd
be helping them sell a house, but it was so much
more than their house being sold. I helped them
through a divorce. I helped them through all
these tough times, grief, loss, death. Had I
not went through all the different aspects of
my life leading up to today, would I be the right
person for them? I would be some person reading
from a textbook of, oh, here's how you deal with
this situation. No, I was able to share from
my own experience. And it was something way more
powerful than words could ever be. I was actually
sharing from the heart. You know, that's how
I've been able to help a lot of people through
the journey. And I'm very, very grateful for
that. Thank you for being here today. I'm really
happy that you tuned in to Vision Pros Live.
I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions
as these episodes continue to move forward. This
is going to get more and more fun. We'll have
more and more engagement as well. We'll invite
people to participate in the show. And thank
you for giving us your time and attention. Have
an excellent time building out your vision and
becoming a vision pro yourself.