Tell me about your vision.
It was to solve a problem that I was able to see around me
that I also experienced myself
and got out of it on the other end.
Cut, clear, clean.
I like that.
And what, may I ask what problem might that have been
to help you to this side?
In a nutshell, I did not like who I was
back in 2016 and before that point.
And I was not a character that I enjoyed being around.
I was not positively impacting my relationship with myself
which then seeped out into my other relationships.
And there was an opportunity where there was a clean cut
where everything was just neutral and blank.
And it was the moment where it was making a sincere decision
to make a change because I didn't want to repeat the,
I didn't want to repeat history.
And so from that point, then it went into develop,
or not just developing, but exploring different practices
to see what resonated and so that I can adopt what works
and reject what doesn't and try to refine this practice
more and more.
And as I've developed myself through this practice,
then it just made sense to help other people do it too
if I can solve the problem that they may be experiencing.
Absolutely, I love that.
Thank you for sharing.
Can you, of course, can you share an example of framework
that helps people think about their thinking
and gain clarity as you have done?
Absolutely.
The simplest place to start is the difference
between soft talk and solid talk.
So soft talk is ambiguous, it's unclear, it's indecisive.
Solid talk is clear, decisive, and it makes sense.
So an example of soft talk,
and I'll list off a variety of different words,
these are soft talk words.
So let's say, for example,
I might make it to the party for 5 p.m.
I could make it to the party for 5 p.m.
I should make it to the party for 5 p.m.
I kinda wanna be at the party for 5 p.m.
These are all ambiguous.
I'm probably gonna make it to the party for 5 p.m.
So I like to think that if a statement
can have a question at the end,
then the statement wasn't clear enough.
So in those examples, are you or are you not
going to the party? So there's ambiguity
both with the self and then with others.
So when we remove this soft talk,
when we remove probably, might, could, should,
then we're left with decisions.
It's either we're going or I'm going to the party for 5 p.m.
I'm not going to the party at all,
and I'm decided as to whether or not I'm going.
I'm gonna check my calendar.
Because there's a place for soft talk.
However, I believe that folks that speak softly
also get, set goals softly as well.
They're not solid. They're not foundational.
And so what happens when we remove this soft talk
from our text messages, from our internal dialogue,
from our communication with the people around us,
our fellowship, what happens is that puts us
in the opportunity or in the space
of making a decision.
And so what I see happening and what I experience
is that when we remove the soft talk,
then we have an opportunity to make a series
of micro decisions that are going to develop
our competence and our decision-making skills.
We're gonna learn to trust ourselves
because we're making decisions in alignment
with what we want.
So we have respect for ourselves along with that.
And when we get better at making those smaller decisions,
those bigger decisions are less intimidating
because we trust our ability to make those decisions.
So by removing that soft talk, solid talk,
then we have the opportunity to see things more clearly
rather than waiting for permission, for example,
to make a decision.
Or just simply not making a decision
because they have the story of,
oh, I don't wanna upset so-and-so
because they invited me to this party
and I don't wanna go.
However, I don't wanna say I don't wanna go,
even though that's disrespectful to both parties.
So that would be the easiest, simplest thing.
And then when people understand, they see it,
then they hear it all around them as well.
So we're swimming in soft talkers.
That's funny because I'm like, what have I said?
That soft talk, some things.
And it's interesting because you don't know
until somebody points it out.
Again, that's probably one of those pain things
where someone like myself will be like, no, I don't do that.
That's nothing that I do.
And then for me to hear somebody tell me, oh, you do it.
So make a decision.
And so how do you transition someone
that you have identified,
that does a lot of soft talking into hard talk?
What does that transition look like?
The mechanism to moving a soft talk, anything,
let's say soft talk statement,
like I might make it to the party for 5 p.m.
And turning into a solid talk is translations.
So we work like linguistic alchemists
where we take a Les story and we turn it to gold.
And so simple, same idea as what I said before
where it's I should go to the party for 5 p.m.
I'm going to the party for 5 p.m.
That is a translation.
And so what we're aiming for with the translation
is truth, accuracy.
And from there we can learn like,
what's our intentionality behind saying this thing?
Yeah.
Who's your ideal client?
Fellas that are indecisive, are unsure where to go next,
or have found themselves at a peak.
They could have self-image issues, identity issues.
They may be low on the self-respect.
They may feel an intuitive pull towards doing something.
However, have not been taught how to think of ways
to increase their autonomy, their sovereignty,
like their individuality,
rather than just simply adopting beliefs and narratives
of others and expectations.
Why not come up with your own subjective creation?
And yep, cause that's the same issues I had.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I felt like really crappy about myself.
And then now it's completely different.
It's like a completely different relationship
cause I'm also a completely different person.
Absolutely.
And I steer that.
Yes, yes.
When did you find that it was time to make a change?
When that, with that one?
Yeah.
When relationships did not go too well.
And yeah, that was pretty much that.
Yeah.
Well, Kyle, it's so funny
because I don't know why I want to get to know you.
There's something about you
that I want to get to know more of.
So I'll stay out of that part.
Fair.
When it comes to clarity consultants, what's your why?
My why is that, okay, there's a couple of layers to it.
Going from a base level,
my why is that I believe that we are taught how to think,
or no, sorry, what to think
rather than how to think for majority of our lives,
which was useful for a solid chunk of time.
However, I think that went with the amount of flexibility
we have and the opportunities that are at our disposal
to those that are,
have a sincere desire to utilize them,
to better themselves and others.
People are more dependent on external forces
to bring what they want to their doorstep.
And I think that when we are living in a comfort crisis,
we lose that autonomy,
we increase the diversity of our communities,
we increase the dependency,
and then we are no longer who we could be,
we are what other people expect us to be.
And so I believe that if an individual has good intentions,
then they can absolutely,
honestly, realistically,
anybody that has any intentions to do anything
can do what they want to do in order to get there.
And it's these longstanding stories and narratives
and expectations that don't logically make sense
in our present day.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it's the stories.
And I like how you said that we are taught what to think
and not how to think.
I think that that's also something that we do.
And because we are taught that,
it just prolongs into our adult lives,
where we really need to begin to make decisions
based on how it should be decided upon,
such as the soft talk and the hard talk.
And it's so interesting that we don't learn all of this
until we grow up,
have some experiences that are not so good.
And then that gum, and now this light bulb goes off,
and now we have all this wisdom,
but it brings clarity.
And it's so, I had to use the word
because it does bring clarity.
Would you tell me about one of your success stories
that you had?
Yeah, sure.
There's this one fella,
I'm not gonna say names just for the sake of privacy
on this one.
There's this one fella that I had a really cool session with.
And what the sessions looked like is that it's broken up
into story work and breath work.
So we go into breathing,
we down-regulate or up-regulate the body, neutralize,
we just feel real good in our state where we are,
and then into the story work.
And this fella in particular had a father-themed story,
because stories have themes as well,
similar to how if you've ever had a friend
that has dated 10 different people,
however, they're the same person.
So experiences work the same way.
We can have an experience as a child,
and we can maintain that theme into our adulthood,
because we haven't integrated that story.
It's still an anchor to us.
It's still something that's influencing our present day.
It's the owner of us.
So he had a father-themed story.
And it was a long story,
and people can write a paragraph,
they can write a page if they want.
And this memory in particular didn't really
feel too good with him, it was like a tough one.
And so the way that I go through the process,
I'll just show the process too, because it'll be easier.
So the first step was to write down the story.
So we wrote down the story,
and after the story's written down, title it.
Title it because it's a story.
And when you're writing the story,
you want to err on the side of more detail rather than less.
You wanna have it conversational, not point form.
And you're writing the story as if you're seeing it.
Like, so it's not, I'm in it right now,
you're creating objectivity, you're creating space.
And so even for the first step,
people just doing that to create space,
it takes a story from here and puts it somewhere else.
And a story that's kept in the mind is infinite.
And then all the other stories with the same themes
can all mesh together.
And then they seem like they are all one story
when they're in reality, they're just separate ones,
chunked up.
And so you wrote down the story,
second step, we read the story, read it out loud.
Doing a solo's awesome too.
Doing it with someone, so you're reading it to someone,
we'll supercharge it.
Because you're literally sharing your heart.
You're sharing it a moment in time.
And then he felt that one.
He felt that one.
Because when you're reading,
because the words, words are magic.
Words bring the feelings to the forefront.
So we could be in a completely, totally fine state.
And then we bring those feelings up through revisiting,
which is good in this case,
because we're working on processing
the unmetabolized emotions.
So went through that first read,
then I asked him the questions.
How does it feel?
Or how do you feel?
Like what emotions are coming up?
Where do you feel in your body?
And on a scale of one to 10, where does it land?
Scale of one to 10 for intensity,
10 being the most intense.
So we gave his numbers and his information.
These are all data.
This is all data.
There's nothing threatening or harmful.
It's just information on a page.
And then step three,
we read the story 30% slower.
So many folks during the first read,
they'll try to keep their, stay high and tight in the chest.
High and tight, you're good to fight.
Low and slow, you're good to flow.
So people will try to hold their breath in
so that they don't have to feel
the feels associated with it.
So the second step nullifies that
and it forces the breath in.
So went through that.
I asked them the same three questions
and we noticed that things were decreasing.
So the intensity went from,
what were the actual ones?
It was a nine to a seven.
So it was up on the intensity level, which is okay.
And then feels changed,
where he felt it in his body changed.
And then we went into the fourth step.
And the fourth step is to read and breathe.
So we integrate the reading and the breathing.
So at every period, the occasional comma and sometimes and,
you put a line or you just put a line
or you just put breathe if you're typing it out.
So you're reading slow.
So this would be example, it would be like,
when you're reading 30% slower
and you end up coming up to a period,
breathe it in, let it out and continue on with the story.
So what happens is we bring awareness to the story.
We bring the feels up from the story.
We slow it down so we can crack the story
because we are bringing a breath in.
And then with the breathing and reading,
we're allowing it to flow through us.
We're allowing it to process, to integrate.
So it no longer has any intensity.
And we look at it as what it is, which is a story.
Yeah, yeah.
It's the word that I came out of this as vulnerability.
Like you have to be so vulnerable.
To number one, write your story down
and then to read it out loud
and then to read it 30% slower.
But then I believe you said one of the steps
or desires of an individual that chooses
to do clarity consultant is to go through the pain points.
And that I tell you, as you were doing it,
I'm sitting here reminding myself to breathe.
Yeah.
Because it's a whole mindset thing, as you mentioned.
And it's very interesting that you do this on a daily basis.
So what's the difference between clarity consultant
and clarity, not, it wouldn't be coaching, counseling.
What's the difference?
The difference between consulting and counseling
is to me, this is how I would break it up.
Consulting to me is outcomes focused
rather than problems focused.
Got it, okay.
That would be the core on that one, I believe.
Because counseling, it would be similar to some therapies
as well, where it's talk therapy
or it's two talking heads going back and forth,
which is good for up here,
but it doesn't integrate the physical body.
Yeah, I think.
Which that's also how my process differentiates as well,
is that it's not just the mental or the physical,
it's an integration of both.
Got it, got it.
Yeah.
The ethereal and the physical.
Yes, because I'm sitting here like,
I think I might've just had therapy with Kyle Smith.
Maybe.
Because I'm sure many people wonder,
you know the difference.
And not to take up too much of your time,
but I do have one last question.
Sure.
What are the greatest joys of what you do?
The greatest joys of what I do
is the opportunity to see someone collect aha moments.
That's, no, I'm gonna take out the probably.
That's my favorite thing.
Because my intention when I start with someone,
because I understand that the threshold
for people coming in,
oh, another thing I wanted to say actually before this,
because you said vulnerability,
and when you said that,
something else popped up.
I think that it's not,
it's not not vulnerability.
It's not vulnerability.
It's not not, it's not not vulnerability.
I think that vulnerability is easy,
is the courage to do it.
That's hard.
Yes.
Because people are vulnerable all the time.
Yeah.
I think that it's much more easy.
Courage is something that is not as supported and encouraged.
I can see that, definitely.
Totally.
So yeah, my intention when someone starts out
is to collect as many aha moments as possible.
Yeah.
Because aha moments or pattern interrupts,
or basically it's just a changing in the synapsis
of our neurology in our brain.
So each of our, everything's on a pathway.
And some of these, some ideas may be separated in our mind
and just takes that moment, that catalyzing moment
to bring two thoughts together.
And then they have that moment of aha
and an aha moment to me is a moment of inspiration.
Thank you for being here today.
I'm really happy that you tuned in to Vision Pros Live.
I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions
as these episodes continue to move forward.
This is gonna get more and more fun.
We'll have more and more engagement as well.
We'll invite people to participate in the show
and thank you for giving us your time and attention.
Have an excellent time building out your vision
and becoming a Vision Pro yourself.