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Tell me about your vision.

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It was to solve a problem that I was able to see around me

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that I also experienced myself

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and got out of it on the other end.

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Cut, clear, clean.

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I like that.

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And what, may I ask what problem might that have been

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to help you to this side?

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In a nutshell, I did not like who I was

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back in 2016 and before that point.

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And I was not a character that I enjoyed being around.

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I was not positively impacting my relationship with myself

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which then seeped out into my other relationships.

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And there was an opportunity where there was a clean cut

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where everything was just neutral and blank.

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And it was the moment where it was making a sincere decision

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to make a change because I didn't want to repeat the,

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I didn't want to repeat history.

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And so from that point, then it went into develop,

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or not just developing, but exploring different practices

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to see what resonated and so that I can adopt what works

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and reject what doesn't and try to refine this practice

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more and more.

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And as I've developed myself through this practice,

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then it just made sense to help other people do it too

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if I can solve the problem that they may be experiencing.

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Absolutely, I love that.

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Thank you for sharing.

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Can you, of course, can you share an example of framework

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that helps people think about their thinking

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and gain clarity as you have done?

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Absolutely.

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The simplest place to start is the difference

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between soft talk and solid talk.

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So soft talk is ambiguous, it's unclear, it's indecisive.

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Solid talk is clear, decisive, and it makes sense.

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So an example of soft talk,

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and I'll list off a variety of different words,

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these are soft talk words.

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So let's say, for example,

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I might make it to the party for 5 p.m.

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I could make it to the party for 5 p.m.

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I should make it to the party for 5 p.m.

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I kinda wanna be at the party for 5 p.m.

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These are all ambiguous.

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I'm probably gonna make it to the party for 5 p.m.

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So I like to think that if a statement

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can have a question at the end,

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then the statement wasn't clear enough.

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So in those examples, are you or are you not

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going to the party? So there's ambiguity

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both with the self and then with others.

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So when we remove this soft talk,

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when we remove probably, might, could, should,

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then we're left with decisions.

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It's either we're going or I'm going to the party for 5 p.m.

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I'm not going to the party at all,

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and I'm decided as to whether or not I'm going.

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I'm gonna check my calendar.

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Because there's a place for soft talk.

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However, I believe that folks that speak softly

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also get, set goals softly as well.

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They're not solid. They're not foundational.

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And so what happens when we remove this soft talk

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from our text messages, from our internal dialogue,

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from our communication with the people around us,

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our fellowship, what happens is that puts us

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in the opportunity or in the space

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of making a decision.

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And so what I see happening and what I experience

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is that when we remove the soft talk,

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then we have an opportunity to make a series

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of micro decisions that are going to develop

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our competence and our decision-making skills.

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We're gonna learn to trust ourselves

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because we're making decisions in alignment

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with what we want.

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So we have respect for ourselves along with that.

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And when we get better at making those smaller decisions,

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those bigger decisions are less intimidating

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because we trust our ability to make those decisions.

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So by removing that soft talk, solid talk,

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then we have the opportunity to see things more clearly

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rather than waiting for permission, for example,

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to make a decision.

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Or just simply not making a decision

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because they have the story of,

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oh, I don't wanna upset so-and-so

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because they invited me to this party

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and I don't wanna go.

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However, I don't wanna say I don't wanna go,

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even though that's disrespectful to both parties.

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So that would be the easiest, simplest thing.

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And then when people understand, they see it,

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then they hear it all around them as well.

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So we're swimming in soft talkers.

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That's funny because I'm like, what have I said?

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That soft talk, some things.

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And it's interesting because you don't know

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until somebody points it out.

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Again, that's probably one of those pain things

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where someone like myself will be like, no, I don't do that.

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That's nothing that I do.

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And then for me to hear somebody tell me, oh, you do it.

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So make a decision.

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And so how do you transition someone

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that you have identified,

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that does a lot of soft talking into hard talk?

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What does that transition look like?

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The mechanism to moving a soft talk, anything,

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let's say soft talk statement,

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like I might make it to the party for 5 p.m.

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And turning into a solid talk is translations.

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So we work like linguistic alchemists

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where we take a Les story and we turn it to gold.

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And so simple, same idea as what I said before

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where it's I should go to the party for 5 p.m.

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I'm going to the party for 5 p.m.

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That is a translation.

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And so what we're aiming for with the translation

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is truth, accuracy.

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And from there we can learn like,

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what's our intentionality behind saying this thing?

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Yeah.

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Who's your ideal client?

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Fellas that are indecisive, are unsure where to go next,

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or have found themselves at a peak.

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They could have self-image issues, identity issues.

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They may be low on the self-respect.

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They may feel an intuitive pull towards doing something.

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However, have not been taught how to think of ways

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to increase their autonomy, their sovereignty,

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like their individuality,

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rather than just simply adopting beliefs and narratives

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of others and expectations.

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Why not come up with your own subjective creation?

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And yep, cause that's the same issues I had.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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I felt like really crappy about myself.

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And then now it's completely different.

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It's like a completely different relationship

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cause I'm also a completely different person.

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Absolutely.

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And I steer that.

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Yes, yes.

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When did you find that it was time to make a change?

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When that, with that one?

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Yeah.

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When relationships did not go too well.

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And yeah, that was pretty much that.

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Yeah.

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Well, Kyle, it's so funny

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because I don't know why I want to get to know you.

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There's something about you

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that I want to get to know more of.

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So I'll stay out of that part.

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Fair.

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When it comes to clarity consultants, what's your why?

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My why is that, okay, there's a couple of layers to it.

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Going from a base level,

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my why is that I believe that we are taught how to think,

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or no, sorry, what to think

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rather than how to think for majority of our lives,

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which was useful for a solid chunk of time.

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However, I think that went with the amount of flexibility

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we have and the opportunities that are at our disposal

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to those that are,

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have a sincere desire to utilize them,

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to better themselves and others.

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People are more dependent on external forces

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to bring what they want to their doorstep.

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And I think that when we are living in a comfort crisis,

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we lose that autonomy,

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we increase the diversity of our communities,

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we increase the dependency,

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and then we are no longer who we could be,

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we are what other people expect us to be.

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And so I believe that if an individual has good intentions,

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then they can absolutely,

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honestly, realistically,

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anybody that has any intentions to do anything

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can do what they want to do in order to get there.

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And it's these longstanding stories and narratives

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and expectations that don't logically make sense

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in our present day.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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And it's the stories.

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And I like how you said that we are taught what to think

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and not how to think.

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I think that that's also something that we do.

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And because we are taught that,

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it just prolongs into our adult lives,

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where we really need to begin to make decisions

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based on how it should be decided upon,

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such as the soft talk and the hard talk.

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And it's so interesting that we don't learn all of this

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until we grow up,

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have some experiences that are not so good.

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And then that gum, and now this light bulb goes off,

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and now we have all this wisdom,

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but it brings clarity.

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And it's so, I had to use the word

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because it does bring clarity.

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Would you tell me about one of your success stories

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that you had?

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Yeah, sure.

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There's this one fella,

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I'm not gonna say names just for the sake of privacy

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on this one.

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There's this one fella that I had a really cool session with.

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And what the sessions looked like is that it's broken up

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into story work and breath work.

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So we go into breathing,

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we down-regulate or up-regulate the body, neutralize,

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we just feel real good in our state where we are,

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and then into the story work.

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And this fella in particular had a father-themed story,

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because stories have themes as well,

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similar to how if you've ever had a friend

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that has dated 10 different people,

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however, they're the same person.

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So experiences work the same way.

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We can have an experience as a child,

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and we can maintain that theme into our adulthood,

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because we haven't integrated that story.

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It's still an anchor to us.

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It's still something that's influencing our present day.

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It's the owner of us.

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So he had a father-themed story.

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And it was a long story,

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and people can write a paragraph,

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they can write a page if they want.

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And this memory in particular didn't really

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feel too good with him, it was like a tough one.

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And so the way that I go through the process,

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I'll just show the process too, because it'll be easier.

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So the first step was to write down the story.

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So we wrote down the story,

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and after the story's written down, title it.

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Title it because it's a story.

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And when you're writing the story,

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you want to err on the side of more detail rather than less.

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You wanna have it conversational, not point form.

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And you're writing the story as if you're seeing it.

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Like, so it's not, I'm in it right now,

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you're creating objectivity, you're creating space.

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And so even for the first step,

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people just doing that to create space,

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it takes a story from here and puts it somewhere else.

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And a story that's kept in the mind is infinite.

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And then all the other stories with the same themes

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can all mesh together.

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And then they seem like they are all one story

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when they're in reality, they're just separate ones,

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chunked up.

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And so you wrote down the story,

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second step, we read the story, read it out loud.

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Doing a solo's awesome too.

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Doing it with someone, so you're reading it to someone,

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we'll supercharge it.

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Because you're literally sharing your heart.

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You're sharing it a moment in time.

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And then he felt that one.

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He felt that one.

265
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:02,360
Because when you're reading,

266
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:04,680
because the words, words are magic.

267
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Words bring the feelings to the forefront.

268
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:11,040
So we could be in a completely, totally fine state.

269
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And then we bring those feelings up through revisiting,

270
00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:16,720
which is good in this case,

271
00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:18,720
because we're working on processing

272
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:20,560
the unmetabolized emotions.

273
00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:23,680
So went through that first read,

274
00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:25,040
then I asked him the questions.

275
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:25,880
How does it feel?

276
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:27,280
Or how do you feel?

277
00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:29,200
Like what emotions are coming up?

278
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:31,640
Where do you feel in your body?

279
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:34,800
And on a scale of one to 10, where does it land?

280
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,280
Scale of one to 10 for intensity,

281
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10 being the most intense.

282
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,480
So we gave his numbers and his information.

283
00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:43,720
These are all data.

284
00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:45,160
This is all data.

285
00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:46,760
There's nothing threatening or harmful.

286
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:48,800
It's just information on a page.

287
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:51,560
And then step three,

288
00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:55,600
we read the story 30% slower.

289
00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:59,560
So many folks during the first read,

290
00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:03,400
they'll try to keep their, stay high and tight in the chest.

291
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:04,840
High and tight, you're good to fight.

292
00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:07,080
Low and slow, you're good to flow.

293
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,440
So people will try to hold their breath in

294
00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:10,600
so that they don't have to feel

295
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,880
the feels associated with it.

296
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:15,680
So the second step nullifies that

297
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,200
and it forces the breath in.

298
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,480
So went through that.

299
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:21,920
I asked them the same three questions

300
00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:23,720
and we noticed that things were decreasing.

301
00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:25,280
So the intensity went from,

302
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,600
what were the actual ones?

303
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,000
It was a nine to a seven.

304
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:34,000
So it was up on the intensity level, which is okay.

305
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:37,240
And then feels changed,

306
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:40,000
where he felt it in his body changed.

307
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,800
And then we went into the fourth step.

308
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,640
And the fourth step is to read and breathe.

309
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:47,160
So we integrate the reading and the breathing.

310
00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:51,280
So at every period, the occasional comma and sometimes and,

311
00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:53,800
you put a line or you just put a line

312
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:56,880
or you just put breathe if you're typing it out.

313
00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:58,280
So you're reading slow.

314
00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:00,400
So this would be example, it would be like,

315
00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:04,560
when you're reading 30% slower

316
00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:07,240
and you end up coming up to a period,

317
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:14,240
breathe it in, let it out and continue on with the story.

318
00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:17,880
So what happens is we bring awareness to the story.

319
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:21,920
We bring the feels up from the story.

320
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:25,000
We slow it down so we can crack the story

321
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,880
because we are bringing a breath in.

322
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:29,640
And then with the breathing and reading,

323
00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:32,560
we're allowing it to flow through us.

324
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:35,600
We're allowing it to process, to integrate.

325
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,960
So it no longer has any intensity.

326
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:42,960
And we look at it as what it is, which is a story.

327
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:44,720
Yeah, yeah.

328
00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:49,720
It's the word that I came out of this as vulnerability.

329
00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:53,920
Like you have to be so vulnerable.

330
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,320
To number one, write your story down

331
00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:58,480
and then to read it out loud

332
00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:01,360
and then to read it 30% slower.

333
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:05,240
But then I believe you said one of the steps

334
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:08,000
or desires of an individual that chooses

335
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:12,080
to do clarity consultant is to go through the pain points.

336
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:15,520
And that I tell you, as you were doing it,

337
00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:17,680
I'm sitting here reminding myself to breathe.

338
00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:18,520
Yeah.

339
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:19,360
Yeah.

340
00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:23,480
Because it's a whole mindset thing, as you mentioned.

341
00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:28,480
And it's very interesting that you do this on a daily basis.

342
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:33,960
So what's the difference between clarity consultant

343
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:38,960
and clarity, not, it wouldn't be coaching, counseling.

344
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:42,960
What's the difference?

345
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:47,960
The difference between consulting and counseling

346
00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:52,800
is to me, this is how I would break it up.

347
00:16:56,880 --> 00:17:01,880
Consulting to me is outcomes focused

348
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,480
rather than problems focused.

349
00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:05,760
Got it, okay.

350
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:08,680
That would be the core on that one, I believe.

351
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:12,280
Because counseling, it would be similar to some therapies

352
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:13,840
as well, where it's talk therapy

353
00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:17,480
or it's two talking heads going back and forth,

354
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:18,640
which is good for up here,

355
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:21,240
but it doesn't integrate the physical body.

356
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:22,440
Yeah, I think.

357
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:25,720
Which that's also how my process differentiates as well,

358
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:29,120
is that it's not just the mental or the physical,

359
00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:31,320
it's an integration of both.

360
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:32,240
Got it, got it.

361
00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:33,080
Yeah.

362
00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:34,840
The ethereal and the physical.

363
00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:37,280
Yes, because I'm sitting here like,

364
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:40,160
I think I might've just had therapy with Kyle Smith.

365
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:43,400
Maybe.

366
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,440
Because I'm sure many people wonder,

367
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:46,520
you know the difference.

368
00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:49,040
And not to take up too much of your time,

369
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:51,520
but I do have one last question.

370
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:52,400
Sure.

371
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:54,840
What are the greatest joys of what you do?

372
00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:59,640
The greatest joys of what I do

373
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:04,640
is the opportunity to see someone collect aha moments.

374
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:07,400
That's, no, I'm gonna take out the probably.

375
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:08,960
That's my favorite thing.

376
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:11,880
Because my intention when I start with someone,

377
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:14,000
because I understand that the threshold

378
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,280
for people coming in,

379
00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:18,480
oh, another thing I wanted to say actually before this,

380
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:20,440
because you said vulnerability,

381
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:21,920
and when you said that,

382
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:23,720
something else popped up.

383
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:27,720
I think that it's not,

384
00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:30,360
it's not not vulnerability.

385
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:31,880
It's not vulnerability.

386
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:36,000
It's not not, it's not not vulnerability.

387
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:39,560
I think that vulnerability is easy,

388
00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:41,200
is the courage to do it.

389
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:42,040
That's hard.

390
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:43,320
Yes.

391
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:45,560
Because people are vulnerable all the time.

392
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:46,400
Yeah.

393
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,320
I think that it's much more easy.

394
00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:53,320
Courage is something that is not as supported and encouraged.

395
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:58,120
I can see that, definitely.

396
00:18:58,120 --> 00:18:58,960
Totally.

397
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:02,560
So yeah, my intention when someone starts out

398
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:05,200
is to collect as many aha moments as possible.

399
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:06,040
Yeah.

400
00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:08,520
Because aha moments or pattern interrupts,

401
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:13,520
or basically it's just a changing in the synapsis

402
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:15,800
of our neurology in our brain.

403
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:19,960
So each of our, everything's on a pathway.

404
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:24,160
And some of these, some ideas may be separated in our mind

405
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,520
and just takes that moment, that catalyzing moment

406
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:28,640
to bring two thoughts together.

407
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,400
And then they have that moment of aha

408
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:34,080
and an aha moment to me is a moment of inspiration.

409
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:35,440
Thank you for being here today.

410
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,920
I'm really happy that you tuned in to Vision Pros Live.

411
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:40,560
I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions

412
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:42,880
as these episodes continue to move forward.

413
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:44,560
This is gonna get more and more fun.

414
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,360
We'll have more and more engagement as well.

415
00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:48,480
We'll invite people to participate in the show

416
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:50,840
and thank you for giving us your time and attention.

417
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:53,560
Have an excellent time building out your vision

418
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:58,560
and becoming a Vision Pro yourself.