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I am Javanka McGee co-host of Vision Pros Live.

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Please share with me your first, last name,

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the name of your business and or book you have written.

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My name is Dr. Greg Stewart and I am the owner of Becoming More,

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Coaching, Counseling, and Consulting,

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and I just wrote my first book,

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iCubed, Unlock the Inner Strength Behind Your Negative Emotions.

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Love it. Thank you so much.

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Where are you located, Dr. Stewart?

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In Rockwall, Texas.

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So here's Fort Worth,

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Dallas and I-30 runs right near them.

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Then Rockwall is about a half an hour outside of downtown Dallas.

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Wow. Okay. We're not too far.

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I'm in San Antonio, Texas.

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Oh, it's all right. Love the Riverwalk.

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Yes.

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Been there many times. Oh, yeah.

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Yes. All right.

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So Becoming More, Counseling, Coaching, and Consulting,

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please share and tell us more about that.

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Okay. So I'll just give you

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the background to it as far as really quick version of my life story.

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So when I was a kid,

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I was the standard kid like a lot of us that we went to

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church and became a Christian,

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I was in junior church in the 70s way, way back when.

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So my parents quit going,

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which meant I quit going to church obviously.

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So I did the hardy,

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hardy teen years and then suffered the consequences from those years,

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and then recommitted my life to Christ and then ended up back at the same church.

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So I was going for like, I'm from Michigan.

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So in Western Michigan University,

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I was going to be a math major and a history minor teacher.

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But once all that changed,

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I felt like I wanted to go to the ministry.

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So back in those days,

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it's when they started the adult programs for the bachelor's degree.

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Like I was in the nine-year program.

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So they had a once a week class meeting to get your bachelor's degree

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because I had like 160 credits, but no degree.

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So but my goal was I needed to get my bachelor's to get into my master's,

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but the degree I got was an organizational leadership.

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So that's what kind of planted the seed.

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So I liked the material,

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but I was more focused on getting into seminary.

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So my first semester in seminary,

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I took philosophy of counseling.

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So seminary is like about Greek Hebrew theology,

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but I took philosophy of counseling as a core course in my defining moment,

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my eyes were opened up.

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And so right during that time,

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I mapped out a dual master's degree.

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So I got my M.Div in three years and then started my M.A. in counseling.

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And during that time, it was a perfect storm,

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another defining moment when I started teaching as an adjunct professor

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for my alma mater in all the organizational leadership classes,

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and then fell in love with organizational leadership.

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At the same time, it came across the book,

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Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Gohmann.

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And at the same time, I was underneath a leader who was great guy,

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but he really had emotional intelligence concerns.

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Right. So I got my M.A. in counseling, became a licensed counselor.

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So I was a pastor, adjunct professor and a counselor.

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And then I started my PhD in counseling,

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but I did my dissertation on the relationship of emotional intelligence

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with job satisfaction and organizational commitment.

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And then started consulting and coaching for

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a large medical device company in Michigan,

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where it was headquartered, very powerful company.

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So I became a consultant.

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So moved to Texas and then I worked for three years after I left the ministry,

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had a great experience, but left the ministry.

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And then for three years, I flew around the country doing senior leadership team

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seminars. And then after I do that seminar on strategy,

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I would then coach the executives. Right.

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And then continue the consulting.

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So then I worked at a behavior health hospital with troubled teenagers.

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So, you know, one thing led to another.

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Then in 2020, I started, you know, work doing full time telehealth right out of my

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home because a whole bunch of online programs are up.

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So that's kind of like my career. That's why it's becoming more.

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It's always helping whoever you are, you know, grow, develop, become more than what you are.

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But that's where the counseling, coaching and consulting kind of all came together.

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And I just finished my first book.

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So that's kind of, you know, the culmination of not only the material,

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but my own, like growth, like deep growth experience,

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not just in, you know, emotions, but going deep into my identity,

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vein worth and, you know, difficult experience like I went through a divorce.

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So I had to do a deep dive in my own heart.

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And the product of all that is a combination of the surface emotions,

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but also that deeper stuff. So in a nutshell, that's that's who I am.

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No, I love that because it just pretty much told your story.

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You know, it's it's been a journey, Dr.

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Stewart, and who better to be able to consult coach or, you know,

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counsel than someone who has the experience?

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You know, I think even in my own life, I'm like, I want somebody who has experience.

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So that really would do you to focus mostly on

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when it comes to becoming more the business.

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It's right now I do mostly counseling right now.

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So individual clients like pretty much, you know, your average person.

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I don't do anything like of the really more

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deeper psychological psychiatric issues.

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I just see your average, Josh, more about half my case load is marriage counseling.

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And a matter of fact, my second book IQ for couples is coming out in February.

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So I, you know, I have IQ than IQ for couples.

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So and then so most of its counseling telehealth, about 95 percent of my clients

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are, you know, there I'm licensed in like seven states.

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So I see, you know, Colorado, Arkansas, Tennessee, Florida, Ohio.

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And see clients all over the country just doing telehealth.

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Yeah. Yeah. And where would you like to go?

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What what would be your ideal focus?

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So just I like what I do.

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It's just like my career, as you can tell, it's kind of like sometimes it's ebbed over here,

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flowed over here. And I want to, you know, continue to honestly do all three

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because my net I have a couple other books up and coming.

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But my next major book is going to be called the Leadership Quotient.

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And that's my paradigm of leadership coaching.

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So I want to expand in that realm, but still, like, you know, write these books and still do

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what I'm doing is just incorporate some other things and do much more public speaking

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and which we can talk about later as far as like shift a little bit less in the individual meetings

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and do more public because I know from my book, I really do have like a vision and a mission

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that I want to, you know, impact at a greater level than just like one on one.

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Absolutely. So that brings me to tell me about your vision.

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So my vision. So the way the way kind of things have panned out.

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So, you know, really regardless of who you voted for or what side,

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everybody kind of senses that now is the time of where the pendulum has gone super far in one direction.

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Let me explain. So in my book, I talk about, you know, it's really about the emotional experience,

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like everybody. So we have micro emotional goals, which is I'm thirsty.

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I want my thirst quenched. I'm hungry. I want to be fed.

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But it's really our macro emotional goals is about our quality of life.

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And that's what we're all in search of. Right.

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So our quality of life has defined by standard of living, living our values and fulfilling like destiny

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and purpose and vision, purpose and so on.

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So in our culture, when it comes to that emotional experience, I say that, you know, grace and truth.

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So grace and empathy without truth and boundaries is an enablement.

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But truth and boundaries without grace and empathy is toxic.

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So I took a step back in the book, first couple of chapters and said in our culture that, you know,

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let's say 30 years ago, it was so focused on truth that there was this toxicity of people feeling judged

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and hurt and not being good enough. And so there was an emphasis on understanding, like in the 90s and so on,

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of grace and empathy. But the pendulum has swung so far to the other way that there's no there hasn't been

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enough accountability and truth. So now it's starting. You can see in our culture, like, you know,

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regardless of what you feel about the I, the concept is beautiful, but it's how we implement it.

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That's the issue. So it doesn't the concept should stay, but we need a different plan for implementation.

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Right. So it started to swing back more towards the center. So my vision is this.

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I want to equip as many people as I can to remove all power and control from the environment.

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I don't want my environment to control my emotions, have power over my emotions.

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I want the environment to influence my emotions, which is healthy, but it's really empowering

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people that I, you don't need anybody to pursue or validate you. You want them to, but you don't need

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them to in order to do that. It's the solidification of your core, your identity value and worth of your

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own, take control over that and helping people become more emotionally intelligent, more

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emotionally powerful and learn how to truly manage emotions and self and others. And so there's so

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much more like peace and confidence just on the surface, but also in order to do that,

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that's the whole point. We got to sometimes go deep and deal with that identity,

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value and worth and security stuff as well as like trauma fits on our background.

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And I want to empower the masses to go to that next level of not just, you know,

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decreasing negative emotions, but our negative emotions are maybe pointing to something deeper.

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Yeah. Yeah.

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Find peace. That's the vision. And I want to say that that's a big vision.

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And that's some work. It sounds like some work. And it sounds like you're starting it with a

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counseling piece, which is a one-on-one, right? Figuring out how to help people one person at a

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time, which will result in that big, big, big vision of equipping people to have power and

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control over their emotions. Exactly. And I've been doing actually a lot of life leadership,

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you know, discussions and podcasts where if you think about even leaders, so it does come over

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to the organization that the worst leaders, a lot of us have ever been under are the ones who are

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insecure, the ones who aren't teachable, the ones who honestly need to deal with their stuff first,

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because they're puking their emotional stuff over all their followers. Right. So it's not just like,

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so this is kind of like a every human thing. Yeah. And obviously it's a huge task, but it's like,

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you know, do my part. But I really believe that the material helps, you know, from leaders to

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parents to couples, to individuals, because we all, you know, when we're away from the, you know,

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the cameras and the podcasts and when we're sitting there by ourselves, we all know.

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Yeah. Right.

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Don't we? Right. We all know.

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All I can do is go, yeah. And I'm sure the rest of the audience is like, yeah, you know,

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when we're on social media or anything else, you know, it's that, it's that face, you know.

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And so that's a really big impact too on us, Dr. Stewart. I mean, I was born in 79. I could say I

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was a seventies, eighties baby. And we didn't have that. Right. I feel like, and I guess this is just

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my own opinion is, is how social media has made that power even stronger than it has ever been.

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So as you work on this big vision and this big goal, Dr. Stewart, how do you handle the fact that

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social media is only going to become more powerful?

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For sure. And, and by the way, I would never have pegged you to be born in 79. I would have guessed

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like 99. So compliments to you. Right. Right. Got shooters from the holes, right. All right. So

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with the funny about social media, because I I'm 54 and I was on like six months ago now,

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cause it's been a bit six months ago, I was only on LinkedIn. I never barely touched Instagram,

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but now I'm on them all. So I, I'm exposed to as a 54 year old, you know, I obviously I'm learning

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curve. I'm learning this stuff, but also when I see that the product now, so here, here's the

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simple answer with social media, use social media to fulfill destiny purpose and calling,

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which is influential. You do the influence outward, but don't you want feedback and validation

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encouragement, but you don't need it. Right. That's the key. It's the key that I'm here on

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social media to fulfill a vision calling destiny purpose, but I'm not on social media to receive

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validation at my identity, value and worth. So that's where I say, like, when we talk about

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real quick that our emotional experiences, let's say we have the house of our heart behind us,

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we're on the front lawn and what do we all do? We start burning a lot of negative energy,

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processing people who are upsetting us. Right. So, which we may have to address an issue again,

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I say, you know, nothing bothers me unless it should, right. Cause we have to address it.

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But I say a lot of times what happens, we notice that the issue we address is really on a scale of

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one to 10, it's only like a one or two, but we notice that we're at a six, seven or eight

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emotionally. So I call that the inflation of emotion. As soon as you have any inflation,

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you need to stop the presses, turn around and walk into your own negative emotions, walk into the

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front door of the house of your heart. So on that first floor are namely insecurities,

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but the insecurities might be on the surface, but right there's the doorway to the basement

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and you walk downstairs. And when we take things personally, we're not going to be able to do that.

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So when we take things personally and the emotion gets inflated, that is the clearest sign. When we

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take things personally, that is the sign where we need, it's an identity, value and worth,

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because we're taking it down to when you insult me or say something negative,

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it impacts my value and worth. So right there, the sign, we have to strengthen that then over

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in the cellar, that dark corner of the basement is trauma, whether it be big T official trauma or

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hard experiences. So in this process of social media, it's, if I can strengthen my identity,

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my worth and deal with my trauma, then I can keep it on the surface and just like negative

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emotions are okay, right? They're how we solve problems, but that's the issue on social media.

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We, it should, I'm going to have a problem with the social media. I think it's great. I mean,

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it's incredible entertainment, but just keep it at where you are fulfilling a vision and not

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using social media to fill your value and worth. That's the danger. Yeah. And I love how you slow

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down so they get here not to influence your value and your worth. It's taken just using it as,

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as like you said, entertainment. So you mentioned negative emotions. How can negative emotions

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unlock inner strength? Right. So we have good emotions. Again, we have all, everything we do

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is trying to achieve an emotional goal. Like I mentioned, micro, macro, negative emotions simply

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happen when our goals are emotional goals block, or it could be like stress. Oh goodness, I have to

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finish this paper or mow the lawn. It's stress, right? Those are normal emotion, uh, negative

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emotions we experience. So the unlock in the inner strength has to do with that inflation, right? So

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on the surface, the inflation of negative emotions, this issue is a two, but I'm turning it into a

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seven. First is because we believe lies about ourselves. Like, you know, I'll never get a job

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or this will never work out. Right. So that's one inflation. The second inflation is taking things

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personally. So, and then third is with trauma, I call it the curative effect. What our brains do

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is we experience a situation, any situation where the impact from our past, it doesn't even have to

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be the exact same situation. So let's say I, from my divorce, I'm insecure, but then I just, on a

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program, my mental model goes, Oh no, Greg, here we go again. You're going to be exposed. So I call

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it the curative effect where our scoops of emotion from our past and dumps it on the present. Right.

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So the unlocking the inner strength of our negative emotions is what do we do with that inflation?

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The inflation is what we need to walk into and figure out what's being exposed in us.

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And then do that deeper dive. Right. So, and for my own journey, I begin my introduction with,

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you cannot impart what you don't possess. So in my own journey, you know, being 54, like, how can

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I help truly like you, um, like go to the next level and grow without it kind of running through

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me first, because at the deeper level, I can teach you about emotions and all that anxiety, but really

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when it comes to Javanka's heart, her identity, value, and worth and healing, you can't impart

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what you don't possess. How can I walk you through something that level that I have not walked through

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myself? So that is unlocking the inner strength because the end goal there is not just solving a

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problem. The end goal there is peace and rest and confidence, which we all desperately want. Right.

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Yeah. And you know, when you say peace, I just hear, oh, you know, because I love it when you can

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get it, but it's interesting how some don't identify what really peace is. You know what I

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mean? Because they've never experienced it in this all. What's your, what's your why?

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My why is ever since I was younger, it's, you know, the becoming more comes from, you know,

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my tagline is everyone becomes what they want to only some people think about becoming more.

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And the want is not like, well, I want to be president, but it's, it's the want is your mental

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model formed from DNA life experiences and choices is constantly throwing out suggestions. Like

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if you hit the snooze button seven times, your mental model suggested you do it and that's what

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you want to do. Right. So you can just go on autopilot, but some people think about becoming

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more. So I use the negative 10 to positive 10 paradigm, negative 10 to zero is counseling.

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When emotions are getting in the way of everyday life, I need to figure that out, which is fine.

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Then we get to zero, but we can't stop at zero because then zero to positive 10 is about becoming

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more, more effective, more emotionally intelligent, maximizing our KSAs, knowledge, skills, and

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abilities and our gifts and talents to become more and as fulfilling again, vision, destiny,

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and purpose. And it's on every bell curve. I'm there's a bunch of bell curves that I'm on.

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So I'm not comparing myself to other people. There's a hundred Greggs as far as being a

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husband, there's a hundred Greggs as a father, as a counselor. And so in comparing other people,

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I'm not worried about, I want to be in that top 95. There is a great, great, great, great,

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Greg Stewart at the 97th percentile and there's a gap from where I am currently and that Greg,

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but I can be that Greg. I want to come more and constantly challenge our mental model.

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That that's my way, help people become more. Yeah. And I love what you said that everybody

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becomes what they want. And it's interesting because we're looking at, like you just said,

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I want to be president. I want to be a millionaire. I want to be this. No, it's like, and it's ever

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changing. Am I correct? Like, yeah, it's yeah. Our macro. Yeah. Thank you for saying that.

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Our macro goals are, they evolve over time. Like, of course I wanted to be a police officer in

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Spider-Man when I was a kid, right? Right. But as I grew, I started to find vision, destiny, purpose.

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So that evolves, of course, like, cause you're our values of what you say, what would bring me

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peace, fulfillment, rest. It really has to do with, I help people develop their mission statements.

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And it is about like, we have all this, this mission statement, I call it the Iron Man core

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in our heart, this energy source, and it's there. And we, we feel empty until we find it. And that's

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the, you know, that's our true want down here at a deeper level, but the want simply has to do with

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your mental model is going to suggest things to you, your emotions, interpretations. That's where

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I cubed is information, interpretation, intensity that it's going to suggest. It has to suggest to

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you that your want the want is simply what your mental model does. Right. And, but we have the

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challenge that mental model and constantly change it and form it according to what's, you know, in

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this, in the moment, what's the most effective response, but long-term who do I want? Cause want

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to be is not really our job. Who I want to be is living our values, right. And destiny, purpose,

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calling that's our want, but what blocks that is our present tense want of lack of impulse control,

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hitting the snooze button. Sometimes I want to feel emotional goal. I want to feel healthy,

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be healthy, feel healthy, but in the want my hit the snooze button seven times. I want to do that.

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You can't say, and you can't blame the environment and that's the other key. Right. So it's, it's not

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just about accountability. It's about removing power from the environment. That's really what's

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happening. Like other people don't control my want I do. Right. So I'm going to take back control and

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become independent and autonomous emotionally to become empowered emotionally to arrive at peace,

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rest, fulfillment by me choosing my pathways to do just that. Yeah. Yeah. You know, the word that I

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got out of all of this is accountability. We often look at everyone or the outside world to blame.

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Right. And it just reminded me of pressing snooze. I, uh, I had a story on Instagram and I tell you,

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Dr. Stewart, I did not want to go work out every piece of me. I didn't press the snooze. I didn't

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do all those things. And I got there and I still knew I didn't want to, but there was a need to,

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you know what I mean? And so that's where I pull all of that out is your, your, your need has to

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overcome your wants to be able to become more, if I may say, you know what I mean? And so that more

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for me personally, is I want to look in the mirror and see a different type of figure. Right. So

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I didn't follow the want I needed to keep moving forward. And it's very interesting. So you're,

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you're, I think about your emotional, I'll think about your emotional experience. Just do a quick

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reflection. The emotional feeling experience you had after you worked out versus if you wouldn't

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have worked out, there would have been a good emotional experience, but it would have been

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much shout much more shallow. You have a deeper emotional gratification after you do what you

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should do. So I always like with parents and their kids, I said, look, the, the, the principle is

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duty and discipline before dopamine. Yes. Right. Do you need this one? We're doing,

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cause I mean, as adults, we have to do that. Or else we won't be able to pay the rent kind of thing.

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Yes. But that's what it is. Even in the moment of the dopamine is I just want to lay here,

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but the duty and discipline is I want that deeper, richer experience after I work out.

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Yeah. Cause that's, you build your, it builds your confidence. Cause even though it feels good to

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stay in bed, we lose our value and worth because we didn't work out because it's, it's again,

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it's impulse control delay of gratification. It's really all about that emotional intelligence,

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but we're the reward of the reward of accountability. Like I own it. It's nobody else's fault. I own it.

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I want the deeper, richer living my value. I want to be healthy. I want to live a long life. Right.

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And that's where honestly the success is. So everyone becomes they want to only some people

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think about becoming more, right? Cause that is that is our journey. That is the life journey for

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us all. Absolutely. Dr. Stewart, do you have a podcast? Not yet. Um, so after my book, so

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a couple of books, uh, 2025 is, is my goal of doing a podcast, but right now it's, it's being,

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and also, again, this is new to me as far as even listening, I want to be on podcast to master how

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the masters do it and figure out how to do this. Right. Cause eventually, yeah, I want to do a

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podcast on becoming more. Um, but I need to get a couple more books out of the way. And, but I will

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start it right now. It's about the books. Get the books out. Dr. Stewart. See, okay. I'm going to

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say this. A book sits on the counter and it comes at the right time. That's legacy podcast. And what

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you're doing with me right now, that we're on our social media like this, and that's come at the

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right scroll. You're quicker to be on a scroll than you would be to come off of a shelf. Yeah.

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Right. Oh, I'm just saying I'm not. I'm with you because what is it? Yes. I mean, how do we grow?

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I mean, I completely agree with you. How do we grow? It's almost like we grow and this is intriguing.

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We talk about the application. Now I need to study and go back and do a deeper dive into the material

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for sure. But you're right. It sits there, but now let's talk about the application. What are the

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obstacles? Like I want to be different. So what are my obstacles to being different? Choosing a

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different path, a more radical, rational, healthy, wise and right path to achieve the same emotional

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goal. Right. So it's the emotional goals are good. It's are the paths we're taking to those

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emotional goals, rational, healthy, wise and right. There's the accountability. Okay. Well, Dr. Stewart,

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I'm going to see a podcast. I'm thinking maybe August, I may be able to click a button. I'm like,

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oh, that's not your word. Okay. Yeah. I've been told that and I, I am teachable and I submit to

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that truth that I need to do a podcast. You have, you've given so much right now and I can only

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imagine if you would be able to just do that and have that conversation and allow others to hear

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you say that because I tell you, I'm, I'm so focused in that I'm just like, I had to remember,

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no, no lie, Dr. Stewart. I had to remember I was on a podcast and not just having a conversation

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about something that changes not only myself and you, but changes the world. If only we will

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allow it to. So that's very sweet. Thank you. Yes. I'm pouring into you like you pour into everybody

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else. Amen. Right. Yeah. Your time. And I cannot wait to see, please let people know how you,

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we can get in touch with you and then your social media handles. Right. So, so becoming more.com

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is the easiest thing to remember. And then all my social media and everything is on there. The

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book is on Amazon. Just look for I three book, right? Just right. But becoming more.com and that

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has all my social media and different things on it. And I'm, I'm posting like at least two videos,

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less than a minute I'm learning two videos every day, walking through the material of my book.

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So that's the part I'm learning, but that's on, uh, in all the social media, I'm posting those

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videos, um, and including YouTube and stuff, um, on that. So becoming more.com everybody go and take

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a look and you guys heard me sometime in July, August, we'll be watching the podcast and this

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is recorded and it will be all over the place. So I'm at the bottom right. Your reviews encourage

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Dr. Stewart, letting nobody's done for you. And thank you so much, Dr. Stewart for spending

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your afternoon with me. Yes, of course. Thank you, Javanka. All right. Thanks all. Bye.