I am Javanka McGee co-host of Vision Pros Live.
Please share with me your first, last name,
the name of your business and or book you have written.
My name is Dr. Greg Stewart and I am the owner of Becoming More,
Coaching, Counseling, and Consulting,
and I just wrote my first book,
iCubed, Unlock the Inner Strength Behind Your Negative Emotions.
Love it. Thank you so much.
Where are you located, Dr. Stewart?
In Rockwall, Texas.
So here's Fort Worth,
Dallas and I-30 runs right near them.
Then Rockwall is about a half an hour outside of downtown Dallas.
Wow. Okay. We're not too far.
I'm in San Antonio, Texas.
Oh, it's all right. Love the Riverwalk.
Yes.
Been there many times. Oh, yeah.
Yes. All right.
So Becoming More, Counseling, Coaching, and Consulting,
please share and tell us more about that.
Okay. So I'll just give you
the background to it as far as really quick version of my life story.
So when I was a kid,
I was the standard kid like a lot of us that we went to
church and became a Christian,
I was in junior church in the 70s way, way back when.
So my parents quit going,
which meant I quit going to church obviously.
So I did the hardy,
hardy teen years and then suffered the consequences from those years,
and then recommitted my life to Christ and then ended up back at the same church.
So I was going for like, I'm from Michigan.
So in Western Michigan University,
I was going to be a math major and a history minor teacher.
But once all that changed,
I felt like I wanted to go to the ministry.
So back in those days,
it's when they started the adult programs for the bachelor's degree.
Like I was in the nine-year program.
So they had a once a week class meeting to get your bachelor's degree
because I had like 160 credits, but no degree.
So but my goal was I needed to get my bachelor's to get into my master's,
but the degree I got was an organizational leadership.
So that's what kind of planted the seed.
So I liked the material,
but I was more focused on getting into seminary.
So my first semester in seminary,
I took philosophy of counseling.
So seminary is like about Greek Hebrew theology,
but I took philosophy of counseling as a core course in my defining moment,
my eyes were opened up.
And so right during that time,
I mapped out a dual master's degree.
So I got my M.Div in three years and then started my M.A. in counseling.
And during that time, it was a perfect storm,
another defining moment when I started teaching as an adjunct professor
for my alma mater in all the organizational leadership classes,
and then fell in love with organizational leadership.
At the same time, it came across the book,
Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Gohmann.
And at the same time, I was underneath a leader who was great guy,
but he really had emotional intelligence concerns.
Right. So I got my M.A. in counseling, became a licensed counselor.
So I was a pastor, adjunct professor and a counselor.
And then I started my PhD in counseling,
but I did my dissertation on the relationship of emotional intelligence
with job satisfaction and organizational commitment.
And then started consulting and coaching for
a large medical device company in Michigan,
where it was headquartered, very powerful company.
So I became a consultant.
So moved to Texas and then I worked for three years after I left the ministry,
had a great experience, but left the ministry.
And then for three years, I flew around the country doing senior leadership team
seminars. And then after I do that seminar on strategy,
I would then coach the executives. Right.
And then continue the consulting.
So then I worked at a behavior health hospital with troubled teenagers.
So, you know, one thing led to another.
Then in 2020, I started, you know, work doing full time telehealth right out of my
home because a whole bunch of online programs are up.
So that's kind of like my career. That's why it's becoming more.
It's always helping whoever you are, you know, grow, develop, become more than what you are.
But that's where the counseling, coaching and consulting kind of all came together.
And I just finished my first book.
So that's kind of, you know, the culmination of not only the material,
but my own, like growth, like deep growth experience,
not just in, you know, emotions, but going deep into my identity,
vein worth and, you know, difficult experience like I went through a divorce.
So I had to do a deep dive in my own heart.
And the product of all that is a combination of the surface emotions,
but also that deeper stuff. So in a nutshell, that's that's who I am.
No, I love that because it just pretty much told your story.
You know, it's it's been a journey, Dr.
Stewart, and who better to be able to consult coach or, you know,
counsel than someone who has the experience?
You know, I think even in my own life, I'm like, I want somebody who has experience.
So that really would do you to focus mostly on
when it comes to becoming more the business.
It's right now I do mostly counseling right now.
So individual clients like pretty much, you know, your average person.
I don't do anything like of the really more
deeper psychological psychiatric issues.
I just see your average, Josh, more about half my case load is marriage counseling.
And a matter of fact, my second book IQ for couples is coming out in February.
So I, you know, I have IQ than IQ for couples.
So and then so most of its counseling telehealth, about 95 percent of my clients
are, you know, there I'm licensed in like seven states.
So I see, you know, Colorado, Arkansas, Tennessee, Florida, Ohio.
And see clients all over the country just doing telehealth.
Yeah. Yeah. And where would you like to go?
What what would be your ideal focus?
So just I like what I do.
It's just like my career, as you can tell, it's kind of like sometimes it's ebbed over here,
flowed over here. And I want to, you know, continue to honestly do all three
because my net I have a couple other books up and coming.
But my next major book is going to be called the Leadership Quotient.
And that's my paradigm of leadership coaching.
So I want to expand in that realm, but still, like, you know, write these books and still do
what I'm doing is just incorporate some other things and do much more public speaking
and which we can talk about later as far as like shift a little bit less in the individual meetings
and do more public because I know from my book, I really do have like a vision and a mission
that I want to, you know, impact at a greater level than just like one on one.
Absolutely. So that brings me to tell me about your vision.
So my vision. So the way the way kind of things have panned out.
So, you know, really regardless of who you voted for or what side,
everybody kind of senses that now is the time of where the pendulum has gone super far in one direction.
Let me explain. So in my book, I talk about, you know, it's really about the emotional experience,
like everybody. So we have micro emotional goals, which is I'm thirsty.
I want my thirst quenched. I'm hungry. I want to be fed.
But it's really our macro emotional goals is about our quality of life.
And that's what we're all in search of. Right.
So our quality of life has defined by standard of living, living our values and fulfilling like destiny
and purpose and vision, purpose and so on.
So in our culture, when it comes to that emotional experience, I say that, you know, grace and truth.
So grace and empathy without truth and boundaries is an enablement.
But truth and boundaries without grace and empathy is toxic.
So I took a step back in the book, first couple of chapters and said in our culture that, you know,
let's say 30 years ago, it was so focused on truth that there was this toxicity of people feeling judged
and hurt and not being good enough. And so there was an emphasis on understanding, like in the 90s and so on,
of grace and empathy. But the pendulum has swung so far to the other way that there's no there hasn't been
enough accountability and truth. So now it's starting. You can see in our culture, like, you know,
regardless of what you feel about the I, the concept is beautiful, but it's how we implement it.
That's the issue. So it doesn't the concept should stay, but we need a different plan for implementation.
Right. So it started to swing back more towards the center. So my vision is this.
I want to equip as many people as I can to remove all power and control from the environment.
I don't want my environment to control my emotions, have power over my emotions.
I want the environment to influence my emotions, which is healthy, but it's really empowering
people that I, you don't need anybody to pursue or validate you. You want them to, but you don't need
them to in order to do that. It's the solidification of your core, your identity value and worth of your
own, take control over that and helping people become more emotionally intelligent, more
emotionally powerful and learn how to truly manage emotions and self and others. And so there's so
much more like peace and confidence just on the surface, but also in order to do that,
that's the whole point. We got to sometimes go deep and deal with that identity,
value and worth and security stuff as well as like trauma fits on our background.
And I want to empower the masses to go to that next level of not just, you know,
decreasing negative emotions, but our negative emotions are maybe pointing to something deeper.
Yeah. Yeah.
Find peace. That's the vision. And I want to say that that's a big vision.
And that's some work. It sounds like some work. And it sounds like you're starting it with a
counseling piece, which is a one-on-one, right? Figuring out how to help people one person at a
time, which will result in that big, big, big vision of equipping people to have power and
control over their emotions. Exactly. And I've been doing actually a lot of life leadership,
you know, discussions and podcasts where if you think about even leaders, so it does come over
to the organization that the worst leaders, a lot of us have ever been under are the ones who are
insecure, the ones who aren't teachable, the ones who honestly need to deal with their stuff first,
because they're puking their emotional stuff over all their followers. Right. So it's not just like,
so this is kind of like a every human thing. Yeah. And obviously it's a huge task, but it's like,
you know, do my part. But I really believe that the material helps, you know, from leaders to
parents to couples, to individuals, because we all, you know, when we're away from the, you know,
the cameras and the podcasts and when we're sitting there by ourselves, we all know.
Yeah. Right.
Don't we? Right. We all know.
All I can do is go, yeah. And I'm sure the rest of the audience is like, yeah, you know,
when we're on social media or anything else, you know, it's that, it's that face, you know.
And so that's a really big impact too on us, Dr. Stewart. I mean, I was born in 79. I could say I
was a seventies, eighties baby. And we didn't have that. Right. I feel like, and I guess this is just
my own opinion is, is how social media has made that power even stronger than it has ever been.
So as you work on this big vision and this big goal, Dr. Stewart, how do you handle the fact that
social media is only going to become more powerful?
For sure. And, and by the way, I would never have pegged you to be born in 79. I would have guessed
like 99. So compliments to you. Right. Right. Got shooters from the holes, right. All right. So
with the funny about social media, because I I'm 54 and I was on like six months ago now,
cause it's been a bit six months ago, I was only on LinkedIn. I never barely touched Instagram,
but now I'm on them all. So I, I'm exposed to as a 54 year old, you know, I obviously I'm learning
curve. I'm learning this stuff, but also when I see that the product now, so here, here's the
simple answer with social media, use social media to fulfill destiny purpose and calling,
which is influential. You do the influence outward, but don't you want feedback and validation
encouragement, but you don't need it. Right. That's the key. It's the key that I'm here on
social media to fulfill a vision calling destiny purpose, but I'm not on social media to receive
validation at my identity, value and worth. So that's where I say, like, when we talk about
real quick that our emotional experiences, let's say we have the house of our heart behind us,
we're on the front lawn and what do we all do? We start burning a lot of negative energy,
processing people who are upsetting us. Right. So, which we may have to address an issue again,
I say, you know, nothing bothers me unless it should, right. Cause we have to address it.
But I say a lot of times what happens, we notice that the issue we address is really on a scale of
one to 10, it's only like a one or two, but we notice that we're at a six, seven or eight
emotionally. So I call that the inflation of emotion. As soon as you have any inflation,
you need to stop the presses, turn around and walk into your own negative emotions, walk into the
front door of the house of your heart. So on that first floor are namely insecurities,
but the insecurities might be on the surface, but right there's the doorway to the basement
and you walk downstairs. And when we take things personally, we're not going to be able to do that.
So when we take things personally and the emotion gets inflated, that is the clearest sign. When we
take things personally, that is the sign where we need, it's an identity, value and worth,
because we're taking it down to when you insult me or say something negative,
it impacts my value and worth. So right there, the sign, we have to strengthen that then over
in the cellar, that dark corner of the basement is trauma, whether it be big T official trauma or
hard experiences. So in this process of social media, it's, if I can strengthen my identity,
my worth and deal with my trauma, then I can keep it on the surface and just like negative
emotions are okay, right? They're how we solve problems, but that's the issue on social media.
We, it should, I'm going to have a problem with the social media. I think it's great. I mean,
it's incredible entertainment, but just keep it at where you are fulfilling a vision and not
using social media to fill your value and worth. That's the danger. Yeah. And I love how you slow
down so they get here not to influence your value and your worth. It's taken just using it as,
as like you said, entertainment. So you mentioned negative emotions. How can negative emotions
unlock inner strength? Right. So we have good emotions. Again, we have all, everything we do
is trying to achieve an emotional goal. Like I mentioned, micro, macro, negative emotions simply
happen when our goals are emotional goals block, or it could be like stress. Oh goodness, I have to
finish this paper or mow the lawn. It's stress, right? Those are normal emotion, uh, negative
emotions we experience. So the unlock in the inner strength has to do with that inflation, right? So
on the surface, the inflation of negative emotions, this issue is a two, but I'm turning it into a
seven. First is because we believe lies about ourselves. Like, you know, I'll never get a job
or this will never work out. Right. So that's one inflation. The second inflation is taking things
personally. So, and then third is with trauma, I call it the curative effect. What our brains do
is we experience a situation, any situation where the impact from our past, it doesn't even have to
be the exact same situation. So let's say I, from my divorce, I'm insecure, but then I just, on a
program, my mental model goes, Oh no, Greg, here we go again. You're going to be exposed. So I call
it the curative effect where our scoops of emotion from our past and dumps it on the present. Right.
So the unlocking the inner strength of our negative emotions is what do we do with that inflation?
The inflation is what we need to walk into and figure out what's being exposed in us.
And then do that deeper dive. Right. So, and for my own journey, I begin my introduction with,
you cannot impart what you don't possess. So in my own journey, you know, being 54, like, how can
I help truly like you, um, like go to the next level and grow without it kind of running through
me first, because at the deeper level, I can teach you about emotions and all that anxiety, but really
when it comes to Javanka's heart, her identity, value, and worth and healing, you can't impart
what you don't possess. How can I walk you through something that level that I have not walked through
myself? So that is unlocking the inner strength because the end goal there is not just solving a
problem. The end goal there is peace and rest and confidence, which we all desperately want. Right.
Yeah. And you know, when you say peace, I just hear, oh, you know, because I love it when you can
get it, but it's interesting how some don't identify what really peace is. You know what I
mean? Because they've never experienced it in this all. What's your, what's your why?
My why is ever since I was younger, it's, you know, the becoming more comes from, you know,
my tagline is everyone becomes what they want to only some people think about becoming more.
And the want is not like, well, I want to be president, but it's, it's the want is your mental
model formed from DNA life experiences and choices is constantly throwing out suggestions. Like
if you hit the snooze button seven times, your mental model suggested you do it and that's what
you want to do. Right. So you can just go on autopilot, but some people think about becoming
more. So I use the negative 10 to positive 10 paradigm, negative 10 to zero is counseling.
When emotions are getting in the way of everyday life, I need to figure that out, which is fine.
Then we get to zero, but we can't stop at zero because then zero to positive 10 is about becoming
more, more effective, more emotionally intelligent, maximizing our KSAs, knowledge, skills, and
abilities and our gifts and talents to become more and as fulfilling again, vision, destiny,
and purpose. And it's on every bell curve. I'm there's a bunch of bell curves that I'm on.
So I'm not comparing myself to other people. There's a hundred Greggs as far as being a
husband, there's a hundred Greggs as a father, as a counselor. And so in comparing other people,
I'm not worried about, I want to be in that top 95. There is a great, great, great, great,
Greg Stewart at the 97th percentile and there's a gap from where I am currently and that Greg,
but I can be that Greg. I want to come more and constantly challenge our mental model.
That that's my way, help people become more. Yeah. And I love what you said that everybody
becomes what they want. And it's interesting because we're looking at, like you just said,
I want to be president. I want to be a millionaire. I want to be this. No, it's like, and it's ever
changing. Am I correct? Like, yeah, it's yeah. Our macro. Yeah. Thank you for saying that.
Our macro goals are, they evolve over time. Like, of course I wanted to be a police officer in
Spider-Man when I was a kid, right? Right. But as I grew, I started to find vision, destiny, purpose.
So that evolves, of course, like, cause you're our values of what you say, what would bring me
peace, fulfillment, rest. It really has to do with, I help people develop their mission statements.
And it is about like, we have all this, this mission statement, I call it the Iron Man core
in our heart, this energy source, and it's there. And we, we feel empty until we find it. And that's
the, you know, that's our true want down here at a deeper level, but the want simply has to do with
your mental model is going to suggest things to you, your emotions, interpretations. That's where
I cubed is information, interpretation, intensity that it's going to suggest. It has to suggest to
you that your want the want is simply what your mental model does. Right. And, but we have the
challenge that mental model and constantly change it and form it according to what's, you know, in
this, in the moment, what's the most effective response, but long-term who do I want? Cause want
to be is not really our job. Who I want to be is living our values, right. And destiny, purpose,
calling that's our want, but what blocks that is our present tense want of lack of impulse control,
hitting the snooze button. Sometimes I want to feel emotional goal. I want to feel healthy,
be healthy, feel healthy, but in the want my hit the snooze button seven times. I want to do that.
You can't say, and you can't blame the environment and that's the other key. Right. So it's, it's not
just about accountability. It's about removing power from the environment. That's really what's
happening. Like other people don't control my want I do. Right. So I'm going to take back control and
become independent and autonomous emotionally to become empowered emotionally to arrive at peace,
rest, fulfillment by me choosing my pathways to do just that. Yeah. Yeah. You know, the word that I
got out of all of this is accountability. We often look at everyone or the outside world to blame.
Right. And it just reminded me of pressing snooze. I, uh, I had a story on Instagram and I tell you,
Dr. Stewart, I did not want to go work out every piece of me. I didn't press the snooze. I didn't
do all those things. And I got there and I still knew I didn't want to, but there was a need to,
you know what I mean? And so that's where I pull all of that out is your, your, your need has to
overcome your wants to be able to become more, if I may say, you know what I mean? And so that more
for me personally, is I want to look in the mirror and see a different type of figure. Right. So
I didn't follow the want I needed to keep moving forward. And it's very interesting. So you're,
you're, I think about your emotional, I'll think about your emotional experience. Just do a quick
reflection. The emotional feeling experience you had after you worked out versus if you wouldn't
have worked out, there would have been a good emotional experience, but it would have been
much shout much more shallow. You have a deeper emotional gratification after you do what you
should do. So I always like with parents and their kids, I said, look, the, the, the principle is
duty and discipline before dopamine. Yes. Right. Do you need this one? We're doing,
cause I mean, as adults, we have to do that. Or else we won't be able to pay the rent kind of thing.
Yes. But that's what it is. Even in the moment of the dopamine is I just want to lay here,
but the duty and discipline is I want that deeper, richer experience after I work out.
Yeah. Cause that's, you build your, it builds your confidence. Cause even though it feels good to
stay in bed, we lose our value and worth because we didn't work out because it's, it's again,
it's impulse control delay of gratification. It's really all about that emotional intelligence,
but we're the reward of the reward of accountability. Like I own it. It's nobody else's fault. I own it.
I want the deeper, richer living my value. I want to be healthy. I want to live a long life. Right.
And that's where honestly the success is. So everyone becomes they want to only some people
think about becoming more, right? Cause that is that is our journey. That is the life journey for
us all. Absolutely. Dr. Stewart, do you have a podcast? Not yet. Um, so after my book, so
a couple of books, uh, 2025 is, is my goal of doing a podcast, but right now it's, it's being,
and also, again, this is new to me as far as even listening, I want to be on podcast to master how
the masters do it and figure out how to do this. Right. Cause eventually, yeah, I want to do a
podcast on becoming more. Um, but I need to get a couple more books out of the way. And, but I will
start it right now. It's about the books. Get the books out. Dr. Stewart. See, okay. I'm going to
say this. A book sits on the counter and it comes at the right time. That's legacy podcast. And what
you're doing with me right now, that we're on our social media like this, and that's come at the
right scroll. You're quicker to be on a scroll than you would be to come off of a shelf. Yeah.
Right. Oh, I'm just saying I'm not. I'm with you because what is it? Yes. I mean, how do we grow?
I mean, I completely agree with you. How do we grow? It's almost like we grow and this is intriguing.
We talk about the application. Now I need to study and go back and do a deeper dive into the material
for sure. But you're right. It sits there, but now let's talk about the application. What are the
obstacles? Like I want to be different. So what are my obstacles to being different? Choosing a
different path, a more radical, rational, healthy, wise and right path to achieve the same emotional
goal. Right. So it's the emotional goals are good. It's are the paths we're taking to those
emotional goals, rational, healthy, wise and right. There's the accountability. Okay. Well, Dr. Stewart,
I'm going to see a podcast. I'm thinking maybe August, I may be able to click a button. I'm like,
oh, that's not your word. Okay. Yeah. I've been told that and I, I am teachable and I submit to
that truth that I need to do a podcast. You have, you've given so much right now and I can only
imagine if you would be able to just do that and have that conversation and allow others to hear
you say that because I tell you, I'm, I'm so focused in that I'm just like, I had to remember,
no, no lie, Dr. Stewart. I had to remember I was on a podcast and not just having a conversation
about something that changes not only myself and you, but changes the world. If only we will
allow it to. So that's very sweet. Thank you. Yes. I'm pouring into you like you pour into everybody
else. Amen. Right. Yeah. Your time. And I cannot wait to see, please let people know how you,
we can get in touch with you and then your social media handles. Right. So, so becoming more.com
is the easiest thing to remember. And then all my social media and everything is on there. The
book is on Amazon. Just look for I three book, right? Just right. But becoming more.com and that
has all my social media and different things on it. And I'm, I'm posting like at least two videos,
less than a minute I'm learning two videos every day, walking through the material of my book.
So that's the part I'm learning, but that's on, uh, in all the social media, I'm posting those
videos, um, and including YouTube and stuff, um, on that. So becoming more.com everybody go and take
a look and you guys heard me sometime in July, August, we'll be watching the podcast and this
is recorded and it will be all over the place. So I'm at the bottom right. Your reviews encourage
Dr. Stewart, letting nobody's done for you. And thank you so much, Dr. Stewart for spending
your afternoon with me. Yes, of course. Thank you, Javanka. All right. Thanks all. Bye.