How did you get started? Well, I've had three wonderful careers, Suvenka. My first career,
I was a United States swimming coach. So I was working with athletes to try to rise to their
potential and breakthrough in the pool. Then I'd probably still be a swimming coach except for I
had no life. My team became gigantic and it was 24-7, seven days a week. And I wanted some semblance
of balance in my life. So I'm probably the only person you ever know who went to graduate school
to get a life more than a job. And I did. I ended up going into my corporate career. So my second
career was as a corporate. I ended up being a vice president of two large companies. And in that time,
I started really my passion started to expand into that world of team building that, you know, one of
the greatest parts of breaking through is realize that the best thing about you and I as human beings,
all of us as human beings, is that we'll do more for others than we'll do for ourselves.
That when we recognize that, that's one of the wonderful things I love about the breakthrough
is that oftentimes it's somebody else breaking their board that just fills you up even more than
your own breakthrough. And so I started, that's when I started doing team building events in my
own company. So we'd shatter those silos and turn them into synergy. And so we had a magnificent
turnaround in my corporation, a pretty large company. And at the peak of it, I said to my wife,
honey, we're doing great. Let's quit. I go do this. This is not an earth to do. And that was 35 years
ago. So it's all have the same in, you know, kind of primary focus, which is people that we have in
us this capacity to make new choices that if things are to change, I must change. And then I want to
help people recognize their possibilities and start focusing on what they want instead of what they
don't want. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, it's so interesting is that your energy is protruding
through the screen. And so as you speak, I'm all excited. Like, I love this stuff, something about
which are you considered a motivational speaker as well? Is that an addition to?
Yes, that's what I'm called. And I always joke about it because I say I'm a motivated speaker.
But I have called I've been rated one of the top 50 motivational speakers in the world.
But really, I'm a motivated speaker. Motivation must be internal. So I look at myself as a
professional speaker as a motivational speaker as a spark, because it has to come from inside of you.
If I can get you to open your eyes to your possibilities, if I can help you be more fully
present with the people in your life in precious moments, that way you'll help people know they're
important. If I can do that, be that little spark, then you can build that self motivation,
which is the only kind that really matters and really lasts. But, you know, I have one of the
things I teach is that your energy is a choice. I talk about energy. And to everyone we touch,
our energy is our ultimate example. People won't remember that much of what you say,
no matter how well you say it. But they'll never forget your energy. I can feel your energy come
through the screen to that smile that radiates, you know, lifts the screen. And, and when we think
about that, most people think about their energy as if it's not their choice. They think about it
like it's the weather, like, boy, I hope I have enough energy to make it through those calls today.
But energy is a choice and how to cultivate a better choice. Watch out. So I try to help people
look at their energy on a 10 point scale. One is comatose. 10 is a child on Christmas morning.
10 is the way you feel when you just nailed it. You did the best job of your life. How can you move
closer on up to that level 10? And there's three simple ways we can do a whole show on it. But I'll
do it real quick. One, change the way you move. Your energy is created by the way that you move.
In other words, anytime you've been at your best, you've given your best presentation, you've been
your most creative, you've moved your body differently than when you've not been your best
in those situations. Your body line and posture, your facial expression, your eye position,
and your breathing. Now, I said that to some people before, Javanka, they say, well, Brian,
if I had more energy, I'd move more. Ah, move more and you'll have more energy. That's the choice. So
if you want to move your life, you've got to move yourself. Second, even bigger key, your energy is
directly proportional to your level of purpose. Whenever you're full of purpose, you're full of
energy. You ever realize when you think about the things you love to do, energy is no problem.
Doesn't matter how you sleep in or feel it. When you get to do what you love to do, it's like my
grandchildren. Let me at it. I joke about it, but it's true. When I'm on stage, I'm 25. When I'm off
stage, okay, I'm 70 again. But on stage, I'm 25. And so focusing on purpose. How do you get there?
Start every morning asking yourself, what am I truly grateful about today? Start with gratitude.
That will focus you on what's really important to you. Your priorities, your priorities will
lead you to purpose. And the third key to energy for most people is the tough one. Release your
energy vampires. Almost everyone I know as things like, I have a lot of energy, except when I get
around him. I have this one guy in my life who sucks the energy out of me. They're like my energy
vampire. And I always say the same thing to those people and never say to be harsh or cruel. I say
it to set them free. If you have somebody in your life who you feel like takes your energy away,
you get up, they pull you down. From this moment forward, stop it. It's not their energy. No one
can take your energy from you unless you give them permission. And when you release them,
suddenly you realize that you can be easy to impress and hard to offend.
And that is an incredible recipe to impact others. I love that. I love that. So it's change the way
you move, your energy is connected to your purpose and release your energy vampires.
Yeah, because they don't exist unless you create them. True, true, true. And you know, one of the
things that, and I'm a people person and I love people and I love speaking about energy and I
love love, right? When I think and I hear you say release your energy vampires, a lot of people,
those vampires are family members. Those vampires are people that are connected to you by DNA.
What would you say for something like that? Of course, this is a random question, Brian,
but I'm just very interested to hear. It's a great question. And you're right. It's often
people that really mean a lot to us. I thought my biggest energy vampire for a big part of my life
was the same guy that was my hero growing up called my dad. He was big and tough and quiet and strong.
And what I wanted as a kid more than anything was for once, just once, my big tough daddy to give me
a hug, just once for him to say, I'm proud of you, Brian, or say I love you son, but he couldn't do
it. His mother died when he was seven. And my uncle told me when she died, it was as if he was
died, it was as if he closed up. But I didn't know that. I was a kid. All I knew was I wanted him to
hug me, to love me, to be proud of me, but he couldn't do it. It took me three, one years to
finally realize that if things are to change, I must change. You see, I had always tried to be who
I thought he wanted me to be. I thought he wanted me to be like him, tough, quiet, strong. Not me.
I'm a goofball. I cried openings in supermarkets. I'm terrible. And I went to see him once after 14
years of not seeing him, just running away. And I married, I had a new child. And I said, for the
first time ever, I'm going to release my energy vampire. I'm going to be myself. I'm going to
bring my authentic energy. One day of releasing him, all of a sudden I realized how much he meant
to me. I realized how he had always told me he loved me in the only way he knew how. He couldn't
say it. He couldn't hug me, but he could work two jobs. So we'd have enough. He could be tough.
And today my 94-year-old father is my best friend. I talk to him every day. I care for him. And we
completely come through. So here's this point. That family member doesn't mean to hurt you.
They don't mean to take your energy away. They just think you're doing the right thing. And what's
happening is you're being easy to offend. So start by asking yourself, what else could this mean?
Maybe it means they think that it's the only way I can really show my love is by being tough.
But most of all, recognize that you still have a choice. You don't have a choice of what they say,
but you have a choice of the way you receive it. And if you'll be easy to impress and hard to offend,
then the more you let go of that feeling that you're an energy vampire, the more they will disappear.
And it's interesting because I've always believed that everyone has a story. And once you hear the
story, you're able to accept the person for who they are because they can't change their past
either, which is why they are who they are today. So that's what that brought me to is just accepting
people for who they are, but also being open enough to want to hear the story and accepting
that we all do. When you connect that way. And I love that you said that you love love. And
I want to share with you, while we're on this incredible program, the most important words
I've ever written because they're about love. And what they say is, what I wrote was it came
in an epiphany that the love we fail to share is the only pain we live with. The love we fail to
share is the only pain we live with. And if we don't get that now, if we don't reach out to people
when we feel it and say, I love you, I appreciate you. Thank you. You're amazing. And we keep putting
it off. We say, well, I'll do it as soon as I get all this other stuff done. Then the love you fail
to share may become the only pain you leave with. And that's too late. So that's about recognition,
acknowledgement, appreciation, expression of kindness and love. So it's really a vitally,
I like to call it being a world-class buddy thinker. All right. And really stepping up. And
when you have the moment, because you never know, you may not pass this way again.
Let them know how you appreciate them. Let them know how much you think of them. Let them know
that you love them, that you care for them, that they've made a difference in your life.
And when you do that, the amazing thing is whenever you seek to enrich another's experience,
you can't help but enrich your own. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, what's interesting is that what
we're truly speaking about is, I guess, making sure we're okay so that we could be great leaders.
Yeah. It starts on the inside and works its way out. Before you can energize and engage anyone
else, who must you energize and engage? Yourself. And it starts by making decisions. That's when I'm
talking about making choices. And perhaps the most important choice to express appreciation,
love, to help other people grow, help other people build trust is to be fully present.
Now, what that means is, and you are it on this show. You're a perfect example. People can just
watch this and know what it is. When you're fully present, 100% of your mind, body and spirit
is with the people you're with where they are now. Now, how many of us have ever been with somebody
where we know their body's present, but the rest of them is in some other county? And here's a tough
but important question. How does it make you feel when someone you really wish to be present with
you is not? Most people it makes them feel sad or small. But for everyone I've ever known,
it makes them feel worthless. When we are fully present, we say to that person unmistakably,
unshakably, through our presence and only through our presence, you are important. You matter.
You count. And that's our job. Leadership is about helping the people that you lead, that you serve,
that you love to know their importance. Because when people feel important, they rise to, oh, yeah.
And when people feel unimportant, they fall to, oh, no. And the only way you can do it is to be
fully present. And not to mention just the gesture in which you made when someone feels important,
it's an excitement. It's an uplifting. And that's that energy you were talking about is that having
that energy to move and be excited about life and choosing to say, I'm going to hold on to that.
All day long. All day long. Absolutely. The expression of what's called the Pygmalion Effect.
The Pygmalion Effect says that our thoughts, our beliefs, and our expectations are magnetic.
That we're actually pulling the people in the direction of the way we see them. So when you
look for the best in people, guess what? What you focus on is what you create. You're igniting it.
And the same is true. You're a Pygmalion to everyone in your life. But you're a Pygmalion
to yourself. So I know people who look at others and lift them up, but they look in the mirror and
all they see is their weaknesses and their limits. You've got to start as you said, no one can be
loved until they let themselves be seen. And no one could be seen until they learn to love themselves.
No. I love that. That was, I'm sure you don't need it, but that was beautiful. I love that.
There was one thing you said too, and I want to make sure that I've mentioned this, change the way
you look at people and the people you look at change. That says an ample amount of things.
I mean, that's acceptance. That's loving people for just who they are. And then once they feel
loved, then they change. And I think that that is so, I mean, that was it for me.
I love it. And the reason I do the board breaking is the extension of that. When you change the way
you look at people, the people you look at change. Change the way you see yourself. The self you see
will change. So that's why I want people to break those boards, because I want them to see
that breakthrough you. I want them to see, wow, I've got more in me than I thought. I can do this.
I can go at it. I can go. So change the way you look at people, the people you look at change.
Change the way you see yourself. The self you see will change.
Yeah. I love that. I love that. So before we go, I want to ask you one more question.
What are the greatest joys of what you do?
Oh, that is my favorite question, because if you know me, every email I ever send, incidentally,
has three words in it. Joy to you. I put joy to you in every email that I want to send out joy
to you. My joy is that I'm living my choices. And many professional speakers speak because
they want to get that love back. They want that standing ovation. But I don't do it for them.
I do it because when I'm speaking, I feel I'm doing what I was doing. I feel like I'm doing
what I was put on this earth to do. I feel a connection to God or spirit of whatever you
want to call it. I feel this great sense of it doesn't matter what comes back. What matters is
I'm giving what I'm here to give. And that's the greatest joy I have. That's why I can't wait to do
the next program because I know I'm doing what I was put on earth to do. Thank you for being here
today. I'm really happy that you tuned in to Vision Pros Live. I'm looking forward to seeing
your reactions as these episodes continue to move forward. This is going to get more and more fun.
We'll have more and more engagement as well. We'll invite people to participate in the show.
And thank you for giving us your time and attention. Have an excellent time building
out your vision and becoming a Vision Pro yourself.