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What's your why?

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That's a long story.

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I don't know if we have enough time.

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But it kind of touches on how this adventure got started.

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This is a complete accident, really.

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I started this whole journey as a drug addict and a dropout.

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And by rights, I should be dead or in jail many times over.

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And believe me, I feel blessed every day

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that I'm walking around still vertical, still mobile.

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I actually had friends betting that I wasn't going

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to live to see 30 years old.

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Somewhere along the line, keeping the story short,

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somewhere along the line, I decided enough was enough.

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And about that time, I found martial arts.

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So that turned into a 30-odd year, yeah, about 30 years

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as a professional martial artist and instructor.

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And that's where the speaking evolved,

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because people were asking me to share these philosophies

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outside the dojo, right?

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And they had a lot of resonance.

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And I was blessed again with great teachers

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who that was their message.

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What we learn in the dojo is not just

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so that we can slap each other around

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and have a good time on a Friday afternoon, right?

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It's to make ourselves better so that we become better

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resources to the people around us

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and to go out and share that.

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And so that naturally evolved into the leadership space,

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especially after I wrote The Sensei Leader.

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That's when it really took off.

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And so the why, and I do consciously ask myself

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that every year.

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I ask leaders to put themselves to this exercise, and I do too.

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And I meditate on two questions.

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Who am I and what do I do?

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And those sound like very stupid questions,

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but they're very important.

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And I've learned, too, that the broadest questions sometimes

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can focus us the best, right?

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Because we're not expecting a certain outcome.

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And it keeps coming back to teacher.

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I think that's what my calling was.

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I think that's what I enjoyed as a martial artist.

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That's really all I do now.

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A lot of different ways to do it,

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but it comes down to that.

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It comes down to teaching.

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And that's what I love, and that's what I'm passionate about.

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So that's why I do what I do.

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Yeah.

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And so when you meet with leaders

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that may have a similar background

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or a different background, do you

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pretty much go through a list of what their goals are,

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what their visions are?

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And because at the end of the day,

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we all were looking for, you said,

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you don't look for solutions.

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You like resolutions.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, well, one of my heroes, Thomas Sowell,

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I stole that from him, actually.

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He gave a very interesting lecture where he said,

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there aren't really any solutions.

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There are really only trade-offs, right?

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Nothing's completely solved.

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And how dull would life be if it were, right?

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That would be the end of everything.

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So not to wax too philosophical, but lists and things

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like that, it's interesting because one of the disciplines

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I brought up was guide.

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And if we wanted, and in a workshop,

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we would explore that very technically.

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What we're talking about as we apply it really

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is teaching and mentoring, coaching, right?

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And all leaders, that's a huge part of your job.

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So one of the things that I do, this is kind of a side,

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but you'll see where it comes back.

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My volunteer passion is working with incarcerated youth.

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And part of it is payback because that's

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the trip I was on, not as a young person, well,

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young person, but not as a kid.

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So I wouldn't have been in kiddie prison,

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is what I call it, with the kids.

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But one of the things I do there is training mentors.

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And I ask them, I do this exercise,

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I do the same thing when I'm doing workshops

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with business leaders too.

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I say, OK, the same questions you just asked me,

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what are your expectations?

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Do you have a list of things?

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Write them up on the whiteboard.

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And they do.

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And then me being the jerk that I am, I erase everything.

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No.

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No expectations.

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We're mentoring when we're giving of ourselves that way.

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You should give unconditionally.

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I don't know what this person wants to do yet.

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I don't know what this person's goals and aspirations are.

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I have to listen first.

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First understand like Stephen Covey said.

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Lao Tzu said it a couple thousand years before that.

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But Stephen Covey brought it into our time.

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And from there, we can start the conversation.

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Now, let's be practical about it.

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A lot of times we're talking about this in a business

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setting.

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So there are times when an individual's needs might not

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match with the needs of the organization, right?

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And then we might not be able to continue

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doing business together.

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And that's fine.

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That might be best for both parties to go separate ways.

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But again, that's the exception, not the rule.

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Most of the time, if we can really sincerely

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listen to somebody, understand what their needs are,

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and then see where those things align

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with the needs of the group or the organization,

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then we're in pretty good shape.

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I mean, that's the space where people really grow and expand,

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if we can get to that space.

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And when I think about helping leaders and trying to be human,

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I believe that it all starts with self first,

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and making sure that they're comfortable with themselves

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in order to be able to inspire, empower, and guide.

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Because if not, they're just leading everybody

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which themselves down the wrong road.

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Do you ever find yourself working with a leader?

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Yeah.

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Do you ever find yourself working with a leader?

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And after a couple of sessions, you're like, maybe this isn't,

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I may not be the right path for this individual.

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Oh, yeah, you mean the great leaders.

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By that, I mean the ones who are very vocal about telling us

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that.

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It just happened at a conference just a few months ago.

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It's funny, because actually we were

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talking about assessments.

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And this person shared that they had just taken a leadership

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assessment.

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And I said, well, curiosity, what did you learn from that?

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He said, I really learned that I was a much better leader

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than I thought I was.

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No, OK, I'm not judging.

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I don't know.

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But then later on at the bar, I met some of the people

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that his reports and their version of the story

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was a little different.

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So I think there's a humility component to it.

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The leaders that are authentically the best

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are the ones who understand that perfection is not

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a destination.

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It's a never-ending process, right?

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We always want to learn.

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We want to grow.

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So when you say we have to be comfortable in ourselves

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as leaders, yeah, to a degree, we need to express that.

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But we also need to be very humble.

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We need to look in the mirror a lot.

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And I think we get a lot more.

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One fact I'll tell you a quick story about,

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if you go on my website, somewhere there's

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a picture of me in my black belt.

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This is part of the reason I share

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that I was a drug addict and whatnot before too.

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Because when I earned that black belt,

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that was the greatest day of my life at that time.

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It was the first time I really accomplished anything

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meaningful, first time I was certainly recognized for it.

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Well, they give you kind of a cheap belt at the test.

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So when I got home, my master had a gift for me.

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And it was this heavyweight black belt.

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It's beautiful.

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It's the most beautiful, darkest shade of black you ever saw.

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It was just incredible.

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But he said, if you continue your life in the arts,

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this thing's going to change.

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You're going to tie it and untie it thousands of times.

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You're going to get dragged across and floored it

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and sweat and bleed and cry in it.

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And all those things came true for sure.

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And it did change.

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It faded.

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It got gray.

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That happens to the best of us.

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But more important than that, the black belt, the outer

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covering frays away.

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And underneath, and this is intentional,

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underneath is a white belt that's constantly revealed

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as the black belt frays away.

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And of course, to a martial artist,

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what does that represent?

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It's the beginning.

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So it teaches us always to have beginner's mind,

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always to be happy but never quite satisfied.

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And that's truly the mind of the greatest masters

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or the greatest leaders.

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Never finished.

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No.

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Always a way to do better, always a way to serve better.

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And again, let's not be lollipops or rainbows about it.

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There are times when people reach a certain level of skill

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or achievement in their life.

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That's fine.

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Now what can we do with it?

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To me, all leadership is sharing.

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In fact, when I'm asked to reduce it, that's what I rely on.

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Leadership is sharing.

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A leader shares.

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So if you're ultimately very comfortable in your skin,

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you've reached the highest levels, then great.

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Now find a way to share that.

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Find a way to expand that by sharing it with other people.

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And I want to say congratulations to you in your journey.

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I was in the field of mental health and substance abuse

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for many, many, many years.

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And I spoke with several individuals.

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And I tell you, as I hear you speak,

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I get goosebumps because I remember some of those stories

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and how far and the underlining story to where they were

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and how they can get out of it.

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And so I say that that to say is like, I understand.

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I understand what you know.

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I can't say that I went through it myself.

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But to hear all of those stories of young youth and my business

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at that time was tied to the field of HIV and AIDS.

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So it was HIV and AIDS, substance abuse,

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and mental health.

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And then for me to case manage, I

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would have to have all of those things encompass

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to be able to assist that individual.

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So as you tell me these things and you get into martial arts

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and dojo and then the belt and then frailing away

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and the white part all coming back,

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it's almost like a rebirth.

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That's what it reminds me of is a rebirth.

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And when you say that you don't want

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to be too comfortable in yourself

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because you still want to have the capacity

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to continue to keep learning, I get that too.

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It's such a blessing to say that I'm still learning

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and I'm going to continue to learn.

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As you mentioned, perfection cannot be reached at all.

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It's this thing that's-

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Yeah, it's not a destination.

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It's a purpose.

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I want to thank you so much for your work

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because that's critical.

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And I think you understand what I say by this.

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People always ask me about the drug experience.

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I say, well, quitting drugs is easy.

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Most of us who did it, we got a lot of practice at it.

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We put a few tries at it, right?

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It's staying off that's hard.

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And that's why we need folks like you

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to provide a great example, provide support

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and give us another place to go.

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Thank you for being here today.

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I'm really happy that you tuned in to Vision Pros Live.

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I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions

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as these episodes continue to move forward.

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This is going to get more and more fun.

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We'll have more and more engagement as well.

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I want to invite people to participate in the show

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and thank you for giving us your time and attention.

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Have an excellent time building out your vision

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and becoming a Vision Pro yourself.