1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,240 John Hall, tell me about your vision. 2 00:00:02,240 --> 00:00:04,480 Let's see, where are you going, where are you headed, 3 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:06,240 what do you see as a division of the past, 4 00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:08,160 future, present, beyond? 5 00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:09,000 All of that. 6 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,040 Yeah, absolutely. 7 00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:11,640 Absolutely, love the question. 8 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:16,200 So, you know, I actually wrote an article recently 9 00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:17,040 about this on LinkedIn. 10 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:19,500 I was talking about, you know, my background's technology. 11 00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:21,480 I was a technology exec for 30 years, 12 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:24,320 specialized in parachuting into troubled areas 13 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:27,440 that were having technology issues and turning them around. 14 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:30,720 And, you know, technology doesn't misbehave on its own. 15 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:32,040 It's the people in the process 16 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:34,840 that actually drive these issues. 17 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:38,440 And so I got really good at working with people 18 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:39,400 and understanding people 19 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,340 and understanding what makes them tick. 20 00:00:41,340 --> 00:00:43,460 And to the point that people were coming back 21 00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:45,200 five, 10, 15 years later saying, 22 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,880 I remember that piece of advice you gave me 23 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:50,600 and it didn't just change me in my career, 24 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,140 it changed my life. 25 00:00:52,140 --> 00:00:54,600 And that was really, really powerful. 26 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:55,980 Really was. 27 00:00:55,980 --> 00:00:58,200 And it led to, when some opportunities came along, 28 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:01,440 I had some shifts in my marriage, you know, it ended, 29 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:04,320 and I went down the path of like, what happened? 30 00:01:04,320 --> 00:01:06,760 How do I make sure this doesn't happen again? 31 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:08,520 And started really discovering 32 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:10,680 a lot about the mind-body connection, right? 33 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:14,320 A lot about how, you know, I say all the time, 34 00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:17,780 we like to think we're emotional, we're logical beings 35 00:01:17,780 --> 00:01:19,680 that sometimes have emotions, 36 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,560 and we're really emotional beings, right? 37 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:24,240 That sometimes that fits a logic. 38 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:27,760 And so my vision is really getting people to understand 39 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:30,080 the potential we have in the mind-body connection. 40 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:32,880 Understanding that we don't just operate 41 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:34,040 in our mind automatically. 42 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:36,340 It's not just like these computers, right? 43 00:01:36,340 --> 00:01:37,800 That just kind of function on their own. 44 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:39,860 We aren't just walking computers. 45 00:01:39,860 --> 00:01:40,900 We're humans. 46 00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:42,360 And we have a human experience. 47 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:44,860 And that means that our somatic experience, 48 00:01:44,860 --> 00:01:48,180 our mind-body connection, our emotions, 49 00:01:48,180 --> 00:01:51,320 all of it are key to really stepping to our power. 50 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:54,560 So my vision is just like going in and understanding 51 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:57,440 it's not about the technology, it's about the people, right? 52 00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:00,120 My vision is that people understand the potential 53 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,260 that every single one of us has, 54 00:02:02,260 --> 00:02:04,720 and how to tap into that potential using our mind, 55 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:06,160 using our body, right? 56 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:09,200 I'd say when our head, heart, and core is in alignment, 57 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:10,360 that's when we're in our power. 58 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:14,080 And I really want to share that so that everybody understands 59 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:17,560 the potential that they have available to them. 60 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:18,960 I second that. 61 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:22,120 We talk about this a lot on VisionPros, 62 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:25,180 because it's very aligned with how we see things, 63 00:02:25,180 --> 00:02:26,380 heart and mind. 64 00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:29,280 Having the combination of both of those is, 65 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:32,800 as a lot of masculine people say, heart and gut, 66 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:34,200 or I'm sorry, mind and gut. 67 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:37,960 I really want to avoid this whole heart feeling thing. 68 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,840 Not our vision leaders. 69 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:42,160 And other people who come to this show understand 70 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,600 that we dive into the depths of principles. 71 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:48,600 And there's plenty of times where I take a breath, 72 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,560 and I think through and I feel through, right? 73 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:52,480 What's next? 74 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:56,920 And again, it's a community of people who appreciate that, 75 00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:58,760 and looking for wisdom from people like you, 76 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:02,140 who have spent decades figuring these things out, 77 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:06,260 going through the hard knocks of life too, that occur. 78 00:03:06,260 --> 00:03:07,680 I'm twice divorced. 79 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:10,200 I don't think you probably know that. 80 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:12,880 The thing about people like John too, 81 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,100 for those of you listening in, 82 00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:19,100 is we are, John and I both, producers, not consumers. 83 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:21,280 And because of that, 84 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:23,580 we're not coming into environments like this, 85 00:03:23,580 --> 00:03:25,480 where we feel like we have to read the dictionary 86 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:26,920 of the other person. 87 00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:29,280 Or the encyclopedia story of Jackson. 88 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:30,800 We just show up and surf. 89 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,160 And do I speak well for you on that, 90 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,920 or did you do six hours of research on me 91 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:37,460 before you jumped on? 92 00:03:37,460 --> 00:03:38,300 No, 100%. 93 00:03:38,300 --> 00:03:41,080 I mean, I learned enough about who you were, 94 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:42,880 and obviously we connected. 95 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:45,120 It felt great seeing you on screen, 96 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:47,840 and a natural look, just connection there. 97 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:50,880 And I love what you brought up as well about, 98 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:52,320 sometimes we avoid the heart. 99 00:03:53,180 --> 00:03:57,360 And one of the things that is so important, 100 00:03:57,360 --> 00:04:00,960 is we get so caught up sometimes. 101 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:03,080 And I was in this trap for a very long time, right? 102 00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:05,280 We go through school, and we're educated, 103 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:06,400 and we're taught how to use this. 104 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:07,640 We're taught how to use logic. 105 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:09,680 We're taught how to use our brain, right? 106 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:12,860 And we believe, and there's an illustration I use, 107 00:04:12,860 --> 00:04:15,720 all the time with clients. 108 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:17,360 And I have a picture of an iceberg. 109 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:20,480 And if you ever see an iceberg above the surface, right? 110 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:22,080 It's about the same size as a ship. 111 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:24,120 Iceberg of emotions. 112 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:24,960 That's right. 113 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,920 And it looks like we should just be able to point 114 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:28,760 that thing where we want it to go, 115 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:31,000 and it's gonna go where it's gonna go. 116 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,980 But pick maybe that second one there, right? 117 00:04:33,980 --> 00:04:36,240 I mean, it's like 90% of the water. 118 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:37,460 No, you're good, you're good. 119 00:04:37,460 --> 00:04:40,220 90% of an iceberg's underwater. 120 00:04:40,220 --> 00:04:43,320 And it's more than just our emotions, right? 121 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:46,640 Yeah, it's more than just even our emotions. 122 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:50,960 It's our subconscious patterns, our limiting beliefs. 123 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:54,600 It's all the programming that we've experienced 124 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:56,180 over a lifetime. 125 00:04:56,180 --> 00:05:00,280 And this is what will drive us if we aren't aware of it. 126 00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:01,400 And we'll get frustrated, right? 127 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,160 Because we're up thinking we're this top part 128 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:04,000 of the iceberg, and we're like, 129 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,760 I'm not going where I wanna go. 130 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:06,620 I don't understand. 131 00:05:06,620 --> 00:05:08,780 I'm pointing this way, I'm moving this way, 132 00:05:08,780 --> 00:05:11,480 I'm setting my goal on this, my vision's on this, 133 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:13,200 and I'm drifting off this other direction. 134 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,080 I don't understand why. 135 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:19,760 And it's why I really studied this mind-body connection. 136 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:22,900 But on top of it, it's one of the three ways 137 00:05:22,900 --> 00:05:23,800 I use breath work, right? 138 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,800 So I use breath work very tactically in a situation. 139 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,040 I teach clients to use breath work strategically 140 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:31,280 to expand their window of tolerance. 141 00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:32,720 But what's really beautiful, 142 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:35,900 we get into like an hour long breath work session, 143 00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:38,720 is I get down to that operating system level. 144 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:40,840 I get down into the identity of who we are. 145 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:43,320 I get down to that 90% of the iceberg, 146 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:45,760 and we can start shifting things around that way. 147 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:48,480 Absolutely, it's huge. 148 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,560 Oh, it's been about 10 months probably, 149 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,680 but about 10 months ago, I printed that iceberg out 150 00:05:55,680 --> 00:06:00,680 and sat down with my six-year-old and eight-year-old 151 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:04,000 at the time, and we reviewed that. 152 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,760 We went over the iceberg of emotions 153 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:07,640 and how to process them. 154 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:09,840 And it's one of the greatest things that, 155 00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:12,280 and I know that if I teach my kids things, 156 00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:14,520 and I'll meet them at an emotional level 157 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:16,680 with the right type of information at a younger age, 158 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,040 then it's gonna prepare them for things 159 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:20,520 that a lot of adults have never even heard of. 160 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:23,200 And you've got a company called Intentional, 161 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:28,120 as well as johnhawkcoaching.com. 162 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:30,520 Talk to me about the evolution 163 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:32,920 and where the vision came from. 164 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:37,920 Yeah, I had been in corporate for 30 years in technology, 165 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:41,520 and I was in a marriage, 166 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:44,000 it was an abusive marriage for 25 years. 167 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:47,280 I went through, I think this is one of the biggest challenges 168 00:06:47,280 --> 00:06:49,280 we've had for men recently, 169 00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:54,280 is masculinity is so under attack, 170 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:57,960 it is so questioned, it is so not understood, 171 00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,800 it is not appreciated. 172 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:03,240 And if you think back to men- 173 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:07,040 News flash, news flash for those of you listening in. 174 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:11,040 I went to jail, most people don't know that. 175 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:14,360 I barely started to be able to talk about this in February, 176 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:16,160 I don't make any big point, 177 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:19,040 but I hear you loud and clear, John, continue. 178 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:22,840 Yeah, and I share with people all the time, 179 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:26,000 if we were born three, 400 years ago, 180 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,920 pre-industrial revolution, 181 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:32,600 as men, we would have grown up around other men, 182 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:33,760 around 12 to 13, 183 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:36,000 depending on whether our family was wealthy or not, 184 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,160 if they were wealthy, would have a male tutor 185 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:40,800 who was hired in to teach us, 186 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:43,560 and we would also be seeing our father or whatever, 187 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:44,880 who was the wealthy person, 188 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:47,440 would be seeing them in day-to-day action. 189 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:49,440 If our families weren't wealthy, 190 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:51,000 we'd be apprenticed off to someone, 191 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,720 another man in the village or a relative, 192 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:56,200 and we would be following again that man around all day 193 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:59,520 and seeing how he interacted with other men, with women, 194 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:00,960 how he conducted his trade, 195 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:02,440 and we would be learning that way. 196 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,120 I mean, we learn through absorption, 197 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:07,360 we learn through being around other people, right? 198 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,560 And especially at that younger age. 199 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:11,480 And now with the industrial revolution, 200 00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:14,520 we have, and I know school teachers 201 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:16,360 that have made a tremendous impact in my life, 202 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:18,920 and I am not knocking this in any way, 203 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:20,280 but we have taken boys, 204 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:24,600 and for the first five years of my education, 205 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:27,320 there was not one man that was a teacher. 206 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,440 They were all female teachers. 207 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,160 And the man that I did see 208 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:34,560 prior to my parents getting a divorce was basically, right, 209 00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:36,000 what do boys see? 210 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,800 They go to school, they come home. 211 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:39,960 If you're seeing a man, 212 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:42,520 if you happen to live in a two-parent household, right, 213 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:44,920 with a man there, 214 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:47,320 you're seeing him at the end of the day. 215 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:49,640 After he's worn out, burnt out, he's gone out, 216 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:51,400 he's done his thing, now he's coming home, 217 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,040 you don't see him in the prime of his action. 218 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:55,560 And there's a line from Fight Club 219 00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:56,920 that I use all the time, right, 220 00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:59,560 where a generation of men raised by women. 221 00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:02,280 And the reality is that that has taken a toll 222 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:05,240 because we don't have models to see 223 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,880 how we should behave and how she'd act. 224 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:08,720 Huge. 225 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:11,240 And so I carry, this is coming from 226 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:14,120 a lot of self-discovery, right, to get to this point. 227 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,600 It's a bit off topic, but I love where we're going on this. 228 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:17,640 No, no, no, it's perfect. 229 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,600 And, you know, I had a marriage 230 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,600 that I came into with co-dependency. 231 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,440 I came into it at a very early age 232 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:26,680 with what my parents went through is, 233 00:09:26,680 --> 00:09:29,080 it's on me, I need to do more, 234 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:30,680 I need to make this happen, 235 00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:33,240 and I didn't know how to set healthy boundaries. 236 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:36,120 I didn't know how to really take care of myself 237 00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:37,640 in a healthy way, 238 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:40,680 and got into this marriage that just became, 239 00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:41,960 that was abusive. 240 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:44,200 And I allowed that to endure for a very long time 241 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:45,560 till literally, I joke, 242 00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:47,960 I have 12 stitches on the back of my head, 243 00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:50,200 that I joke God took a two-by-four 244 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:51,960 to the back of my head to wake me up. 245 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:53,240 Had to wake me up. 246 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,560 You know, I hit a tile floor, I passed out, 247 00:09:55,560 --> 00:09:56,920 I hit a tile floor. 248 00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:59,080 It started a chain of events 249 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:01,240 that got me down this path 250 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:04,120 of starting to understand the situation I was in 251 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:07,320 and starting to change and shift out of that. 252 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:12,840 And so this evolution has been a very personal journey for me 253 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:15,480 because it has really been about 254 00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:18,920 how do I break free of these past patterns? 255 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:20,280 How do I shift this stuff? 256 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:22,040 How do I step into who I am? 257 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:23,720 And I have a real, 258 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:24,600 I know you're like, John, 259 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:25,960 you're talking about a relationship 260 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,640 but here you are coaching each other on an entrepreneur. 261 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:30,280 I'm actually thinking, John, 262 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:32,840 I thought I was the only one with this story for a while. 263 00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:33,720 Go ahead and keep going. 264 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:37,560 And no, but the reality is, 265 00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:39,720 I do not like the term work-life balance 266 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:43,320 because it invokes the scale in front of us, 267 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:44,600 like the scales of justice 268 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:45,960 and then work is on one side 269 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:47,080 and life is on the other side. 270 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:48,280 We're gonna put little chips in 271 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:51,640 and that is just not the way that it works 272 00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:53,880 because it perpetuates a myth 273 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,160 that we have separate lives. 274 00:10:57,160 --> 00:11:00,280 We have a work-life and we have a home-life 275 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:01,880 and we have a personal life 276 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:03,480 and then maybe on the weekend, 277 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:04,520 we have a spiritual life. 278 00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:06,360 We go do some spiritual thing. 279 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:07,720 We have a spiritual life 280 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:09,560 and we isolate ourselves 281 00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:11,400 into all these little bits and pieces 282 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:16,280 instead of understanding the cohesive person that we are. 283 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:17,160 And Mickey Singer, 284 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:18,200 I don't know if you've ever read the book, 285 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:20,440 The Untethered Soul or The Surrender Experiment. 286 00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:22,440 He is just absolutely amazing, 287 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:23,640 just such an amazing book. 288 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:25,480 I'm geeking out. 289 00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:27,960 I'm like in his 60th lecture on Audible, 290 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,640 but he talks about, right, 291 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:35,080 the best spiritual practice 292 00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:37,400 is not where we go off in the woods 293 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:38,520 and we meditate 294 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:40,440 and we isolate ourselves for three weeks 295 00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:41,960 and we do all these things. 296 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:45,000 The best spiritual practice is literally us 297 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:48,360 in this moment sharing our life experiences 298 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:50,440 in a very deep way to impact other people. 299 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:53,400 That is a spiritual practice in and of itself. 300 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,000 Yeah, oh, absolutely. 301 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:55,560 I love that. 302 00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:59,720 I'm going to add a little bit to what you talked about 303 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:02,280 with the work-life balance equation 304 00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:04,600 and how people can feel with that. 305 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:08,360 I untethered myself from words 306 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,600 for the most part several years ago 307 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:11,800 and I'm so grateful for that. 308 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:14,200 I've got a family member. 309 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:15,960 I'm not going to go too generic there. 310 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:20,440 I've got a family member who is a semantics obsessed individual 311 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,480 and I've seen how detrimental, 312 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:25,800 how much it destroys their relationships 313 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:28,840 because they're so obsessed with one viewpoint 314 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:32,200 over specific words and they're an intellect. 315 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,480 That's their obsession is having to control 316 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:38,600 the paradigm of how somebody sees something. 317 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:41,000 I love what you're talking about. 318 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:44,360 I love work-life balance and the thought process on it 319 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:50,440 but I came to appreciate the story of the plate spinners 320 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:56,840 and how a plate spinner doesn't spin all plates equally. 321 00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:58,920 It depends on what's wobbling at the time 322 00:12:58,920 --> 00:12:59,960 and what's out of balance. 323 00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:01,720 Sometimes you got one persistent plate. 324 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:03,400 You might be a teenager on drugs. 325 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,640 It might be a marriage that's on the rocks at a certain time. 326 00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:10,840 There's lots of things that can call our attention 327 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:17,000 and so our priorities aren't based on equal distribution 328 00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:20,280 as much as what needs attention at the time. 329 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:26,520 That analogy can be contorted in a way 330 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:28,520 where I feel bad about it, of course, I can. 331 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:35,000 The holistic opportunity in my opinion is to take the good 332 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,520 from what is shared and to then apply that. 333 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:43,240 One thing that you shared at the end there, I got to get 334 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:46,760 right back on track with that because it hit me 335 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:47,640 and now it left me. 336 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:48,760 I'm going to come back and watch this. 337 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:53,880 We're at episode 1025 in a year and a half into this. 338 00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:54,920 That's awesome. 339 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:57,160 Yeah, it's absolutely amazing but this is one 340 00:13:57,160 --> 00:13:58,920 I cannot wait to come back and look at. 341 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:04,840 I will shift gears to the divorce side 342 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:07,000 and the children being raised by women's side. 343 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,600 I was raised by six women, John. 344 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:09,720 Oh, wow. 345 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:11,320 My mom and five older sisters. 346 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:15,000 All my sisters are seven to 15 years older than me. 347 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,720 I always joke, God gave me six months. 348 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:19,160 He knew I was a handful. 349 00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:27,000 The male figures as well and not getting my dad's side 350 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,800 of the family, I spent a lot of time around male influences 351 00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:33,800 but we should have gone around doing productive things. 352 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:35,000 It was a duke's hazard though. 353 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:38,600 We were having a very different experience. 354 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:42,520 So this idea, industrial revolution and what took place 355 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:46,120 beforehand and thinking through the internships, 356 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:50,120 the apprenticeships, even the idea of indentured slavery, 357 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:55,000 not to condone in any way, shape or the imagination 358 00:14:55,000 --> 00:15:01,400 of current oppression but the ability to gain traction 359 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,360 as mentored by somebody and having the protection 360 00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:07,000 of security and safety in that environment 361 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:10,440 when it was done with nobility in mind. 362 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:14,440 It's very different than the society we have today. 363 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:16,600 Yeah. 364 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:19,400 Leaves us with a lot of lessons to learn on our own 365 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:20,440 and try to figure out. 366 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:23,080 It absolutely does. 367 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:27,240 I was fortunate enough that I was in Scouts as a kid. 368 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:28,680 I was very involved in church. 369 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:32,440 I had a lot of other men in the community that stepped in. 370 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:33,480 Really good teachers. 371 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:37,080 I literally remember the name of teacher, Mr. Reuben Lane, 372 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,480 who was my high school teacher, was just phenomenal. 373 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:40,600 I mean, just a phenomenal guy. 374 00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:43,960 But I carried this. 375 00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:46,120 I struggled with this because I never really... 376 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:49,880 I felt like I was an imposter when it came to my relationship 377 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:53,240 with other men for a very long time. 378 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,480 And it was only through a lot of my own deep work 379 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:58,520 that I began to tear down those walls 380 00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:01,800 and build the relationships with men to the point that I value. 381 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:05,560 I have brothers that I value more than anything. 382 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:08,600 It is just a contribution to true wealth in my life 383 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:11,080 with these men that I just totally respect 384 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:13,400 and I'm totally open with and totally transparent with. 385 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:16,440 But it's a shift. 386 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:17,160 It's not... 387 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:19,080 A lot of times we feel so isolated 388 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:21,560 because our relationship with other men 389 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,720 are either based on stereotypical patterns 390 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:25,560 that we think it should be, right? 391 00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,200 Or we just feel isolated altogether 392 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:32,040 and we don't get to this point of deep connection with other men. 393 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:32,680 It's amazing. 394 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:35,560 If you're listening in and you want to get connected, 395 00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:38,600 you got johnhaulcoaching.com, of course, LinkedIn. 396 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:41,560 It's not hard to find John, by the way. 397 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:45,560 He's out there in the world and he's ready to help out and mentor. 398 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:47,720 Mentors love to mentor. 399 00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:50,360 So again, don't hesitate to reach out to either one of us. 400 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,240 Also drop questions if you have them. 401 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:56,120 John, I'd love to have you back. 402 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:58,760 This is a shorter kind of introductory episode, 403 00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:01,320 but you've got strength of depth. 404 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:04,760 I've got a ton of questions that I can ask and dive into further 405 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:07,240 so that our audience continues to get to know 406 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:09,640 where can all this go? 407 00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:12,040 And some people, they're going to be a little bit slower 408 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:13,000 if they want to reach out. 409 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:16,120 And for those of you, if that's you, that's okay. 410 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,240 Don't force yourself to dive into situations 411 00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:20,600 that are outside of your comfort zone. 412 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:22,600 But know that we'll bring John back 413 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,320 and I'll be excited to dive in deeper if he wants to. 414 00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:26,360 And I don't know. 415 00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:27,240 What do you say, John? 416 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:27,720 You want to come back? 417 00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:29,640 I'm glad I'm ready. 418 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:30,440 Let's book it right out. 419 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:30,840 Let's get it. 420 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:31,880 Let's get it set up. 421 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:33,080 I love this conversation. 422 00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:34,440 I love what we're doing already. 423 00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:35,480 So that'll be great. 424 00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:37,720 We'll discuss the details afterwards then. 425 00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:40,280 And everybody else have a fantastic rest of your day. 426 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:41,480 Keep being vision pros. 427 00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:45,320 Go after your visions, pursue them and find wonderful people 428 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:47,800 who will help you bring those visions to fruition. 429 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,560 There's a lot of people out there who will. 430 00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:53,000 You just got to find people who truly care about you. 431 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:56,120 Not always easy, but worth doing. 432 00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:57,480 Thank you for being here today. 433 00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:59,960 I'm really happy that you tuned in to Vision Pros Live. 434 00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:02,680 I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions 435 00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:04,840 as these episodes continue to move forward. 436 00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:06,600 This is going to get more and more fun. 437 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:08,440 We'll have more and more engagement as well. 438 00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:10,600 We'll invite people to participate in the show. 439 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,920 And thank you for giving us your time and attention. 440 00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:15,640 Have an excellent time building out your vision 441 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:23,240 and becoming a vision pro yourself.