1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,320 please let me know your first name, last name, 2 00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:04,760 your business, and again, where you're located 3 00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:06,280 because now we're recording. 4 00:00:06,280 --> 00:00:09,680 Great, so Scott Allen and I'm in Cleveland, Ohio, 5 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:11,680 just outside of Cleveland, Ohio. 6 00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:13,880 And I'm kind of many things. 7 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:16,360 I'm an instructor at Southern Methodist University 8 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:19,760 in the Cox School of Business Executive Education. 9 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:23,520 And I am a consultant, I'm an author, speaker. 10 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:26,240 So a lot of different things kind of going on, 11 00:00:26,240 --> 00:00:27,920 but I love it all, podcaster as well. 12 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:31,840 So I very much understand what you're up to here, 13 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:34,160 which is awesome, because it's been so much fun. 14 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:35,440 Are you enjoying it? 15 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:36,280 I love it. 16 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:37,280 Yeah. 17 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:38,680 I love people, right? 18 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:39,520 Yeah. 19 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:41,540 So Scott, that's the biggest thing. 20 00:00:41,540 --> 00:00:45,680 And to be able to love people and hear about their vision. 21 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:46,520 Yes. 22 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:48,400 I'm like, hey, this is everything 23 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:51,000 that I never thought I wanted, you know what I mean? 24 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:51,840 Yeah. 25 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:56,080 Well, I had a conversation with someone this morning 26 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:57,880 that was thinking about starting a podcast. 27 00:00:57,880 --> 00:00:59,240 And I said, look, it's been, 28 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:00,760 there's like five or six reasons. 29 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:02,880 Obviously it's work, but there's five or six reasons 30 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:04,140 why it's just been incredible. 31 00:01:04,140 --> 00:01:05,960 So thank you for having me. 32 00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:07,040 I really appreciate it. 33 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:08,960 Of course, of course. 34 00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:11,920 So I should have asked you what you are not. 35 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:12,760 Hmm. 36 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:16,200 I heard podcaster. 37 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:17,480 So are you an author too? 38 00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:18,640 Do you have a book out? 39 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:19,520 I do, I do. 40 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:20,360 Yes. 41 00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:22,760 So having kind of come up through academia, 42 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:24,520 that's kind of your jam. 43 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:25,960 You have to write a lot. 44 00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:29,720 So yes, a few books, lots of articles, 45 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:34,720 but really shifting gears now to making those articles. 46 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:38,080 I want more than seven people to read them. 47 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:38,920 Yes. 48 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:39,760 Yes. 49 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:40,600 Yes. 50 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:41,420 Yes. 51 00:01:41,420 --> 00:01:42,720 So how do you plan that? 52 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,560 What's the plan in that? 53 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:46,920 Well, I have a couple of books in mind right now. 54 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:49,040 One is Leading and Family. 55 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:53,360 So my passion, what I've researched and written about 56 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:56,000 and studied and talked about for almost 20 years 57 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,960 is leadership, leader development. 58 00:01:57,960 --> 00:01:59,880 How do we, so my vision would be, 59 00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:01,960 how do we better prepare people to serve 60 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:03,700 in these really, really complicated roles? 61 00:02:03,700 --> 00:02:05,540 I mean, you know what it feels like 62 00:02:05,540 --> 00:02:07,920 when you're in the presence of someone who's a great leader 63 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,800 or teacher or coach or parent, 64 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,680 and you know what it feels like to be in the presence 65 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:14,760 of someone who's struggling with that work, 66 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,920 and they're not doing a good job as a coach or a teacher 67 00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:19,720 or a leader or a parent. 68 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:23,720 And so how do we better prepare people to do that work? 69 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:25,880 Now, my undergraduate degree 70 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:27,380 was in marriage and family therapy. 71 00:02:27,380 --> 00:02:29,920 It was called Family Social Science at the time. 72 00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:30,740 Okay. 73 00:02:30,740 --> 00:02:34,120 And so if you think about it, if you're raising children, 74 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:35,960 if you're in a family, you're in a leadership role, 75 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,480 you have an opportunity to practice. 76 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:41,040 And so each and every day, 24 hours a day, 77 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:42,680 seven days a week, three, you know, 78 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:45,080 for maybe 18 years, if you're lucky, 79 00:02:45,980 --> 00:02:47,440 you get to practice leadership. 80 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:50,360 And so I'm co-leading with my wife, 81 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:53,720 but so I have a book about that definitely in mind. 82 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:56,720 And then another one that has to do with problem solving. 83 00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:59,520 I love the whole conversation around 84 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:04,120 how we help people think about problem solving at leaders. 85 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:05,680 So that's another, but again, 86 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:10,360 it applies beautifully to coaching or teaching or family. 87 00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:15,360 So those are a couple books that I have kind of outlines for 88 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:17,720 and one of them I might write with my wife, 89 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:19,360 which would be the leading in family 90 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:22,040 because it's been a fun adventure with her. 91 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:24,840 We have twin girls that are 14 and a son that's 16. 92 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:26,520 So. Oh, nice. 93 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:27,360 Yeah. And you know, 94 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:30,220 what's interesting is I love that you said 95 00:03:30,220 --> 00:03:33,680 that being a parent is a leadership role. 96 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:36,160 Yes. You know, I have four 97 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:39,200 and I never really thought about that. 98 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,920 I know that it's a role, right? 99 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:44,080 And that's a list, a long list, 100 00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:47,040 which is what I'm excited that you didn't say, 101 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:50,680 husband and father, those are things that are given, right? 102 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:54,720 You said, castor coaching and a teacher, you know, 103 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:58,340 and then when you dive into being a parent, 104 00:03:58,340 --> 00:03:59,680 that's a different type of leader. 105 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:03,680 You are coaching in everything possible. 106 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:08,680 So, and then I think that when you talk about that, Scott, 107 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:12,320 there is a different type of leadership role 108 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:15,080 in the person that stays at home mostly 109 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:16,680 and raises the children. 110 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,960 And then the leadership role that, well, 111 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:20,680 a double leadership role in the person 112 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:23,680 that actually works and does both. 113 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,920 So I think that that's awesome to hear 114 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:28,740 because I don't think that's a dynamic 115 00:04:28,740 --> 00:04:31,800 that anybody's really touched on at all. 116 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:35,520 So when it comes to that, where did that vision come from? 117 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:42,160 For the book with leadership and family or just the overall? 118 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:44,960 I think it's truly where you're going into, you know, 119 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:48,480 I feel it in my soul that you have passion about that. 120 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:52,480 So when you have passion and you said it was an undergrad, 121 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:55,280 I think that this is like at the top. 122 00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:58,080 So I think you're going somewhere with this. 123 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:00,580 Yes, you know, okay, so there's this really, really, 124 00:05:00,580 --> 00:05:04,740 really wonderful psychologist, his name was Albert Bandura. 125 00:05:04,740 --> 00:05:07,760 And he came up with this thing called social learning theory. 126 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:11,200 And all that means is that we learn from our environment, 127 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:13,440 what's appropriate, what's inappropriate, 128 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,600 what is on the table, what's off the table, 129 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:17,120 we learn from our environment. 130 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:20,120 And so when you think about the role of parenting 131 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:24,200 and with four, oof, you know, we're at three, you're at four. 132 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:27,920 So the complexity increases in your case. 133 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:31,960 And so what my wife and I model matters, 134 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:34,320 I mean, greatly to their growth and development, 135 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:37,400 whether that's modeling our patients, modeling standards, 136 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:40,960 modeling how we engage in disagreement at times, 137 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,040 modeling curiosity. 138 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,360 So if we're curious about the world, 139 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:48,280 especially when they are in that kind of sweet spot 140 00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:53,160 between let's say, oh, four and let's say 11, 141 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:55,360 where you are the end all be all. 142 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:58,760 And if you're modeling curiosity about the world, 143 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:00,400 I mean, all of that. 144 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:03,960 So when you think about our role as parents, 145 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:08,400 it's incredibly important because now I failed twice, 146 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:11,120 twice this morning, I didn't intervene probably 147 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,120 how I should have. 148 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:17,040 With each girl, I did not win. 149 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:21,560 And now the thing is, you know, the one thing I have going for 150 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:25,000 me is that I observed it, I reflected on it, 151 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,440 and I said, huh, I need to approach that differently. 152 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:31,440 I got triggered and responded, and it just wasn't, 153 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:35,080 it wasn't anything significant, but it wasn't also helpful. 154 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:39,000 And so even modeling how I'm responding to them when maybe 155 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,360 they're not at their best or responding in a way that I would 156 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:45,320 like them to, having that kind of reflective space where I am 157 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:48,080 at least staying in the game and learning a little bit. 158 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:49,640 Sometimes my wife looks at me and says, 159 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:51,360 no, that didn't, that didn't work. 160 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:52,360 That was it. 161 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:53,360 No, stop. 162 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:54,360 You didn't look too. 163 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:55,360 But I'm in the game. 164 00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:56,360 I'm trying. 165 00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:57,360 I'm trying to get better. 166 00:06:57,360 --> 00:07:00,240 And so I think, yeah, you know, one of the reasons I did my 167 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:03,600 undergrad was because I was a little bit more of a 168 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:05,240 conservative person. 169 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:09,520 And so one of the reasons I did my undergrad that I did was 170 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:11,960 that I grew up in a family that really in many ways kind of 171 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:12,960 struggled. 172 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,280 And there was, there was divorce, three years of divorce. 173 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:18,880 And so it was a, it was a challenging place to be. 174 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:21,840 And I wanted to know from an undergraduate perspective, 175 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:23,880 well, what, what is a healthy family? 176 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:28,440 And then I was super fortunate to, you know, marry someone 177 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:29,760 that's just, she's incredible. 178 00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:30,760 She's awesome. 179 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:34,480 She's, and has taught me so much about parenting. 180 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:36,760 And so, yeah, definitely. 181 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:42,160 I think if, if more parents viewed their role in that way, 182 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:44,840 and again, I'm not saying this from a position of, haha, 183 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,280 I've it all figured out. 184 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:47,960 No, but I'm, I'm working on it. 185 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,960 I'm trying as hard as I can to be a little bit better every 186 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:51,960 day. 187 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:55,840 I'm observing what I'm failing and I'm trying to model what 188 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:58,280 is, you know, healthy boundaries in a relationship. 189 00:07:58,280 --> 00:07:59,680 What does that look like? 190 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:02,440 Because if we're modeling that, what does fun look like? 191 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:05,520 Is it, we're drinking every night, six days a week. 192 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:07,120 Is that fun in our family? 193 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:12,160 Is that, then that's what you're modeling or is it responsible use? 194 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:13,640 And so I don't know. 195 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:14,960 I'm fascinated by that topic. 196 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:15,960 I really am. 197 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:16,960 Absolutely. 198 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,800 And I, and I'm fascinated right along with you. 199 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:25,960 And the interesting thing about my, the dynamics of my own family is we have a 29 year old 200 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:27,240 and a 10 year old. 201 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,240 Okay. 202 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:31,000 So that's 29, 24, 14 and 10. 203 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,000 Okay. 204 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:39,040 The complexity that I have is adults and children communicating where I'm trying to teach the 205 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:44,800 kids to respect the adult sibling, but yet they still have to teach them to be, to be 206 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,640 respectful, but they're siblings with you. 207 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:50,720 You have twins that are girls. 208 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:53,480 So that's a complete different dynamic. 209 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:58,560 And I love when you say that you failed because we fail often. 210 00:08:58,560 --> 00:09:01,640 Oh my goodness. 211 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:04,440 And failure is not a bad thing. 212 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:11,440 And teaching that, acknowledging that to ourselves and being able to teach that back to the children, 213 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:12,440 you're going to fail. 214 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:16,560 You know, there's, I tell my older children, it's, it's, I can't believe I'm saying it 215 00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:17,560 on air. 216 00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:21,800 It's like, Hey, when I had the younger two, I was like, Hey, you guys were trial and error 217 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:22,800 and I'm sorry. 218 00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:25,880 And the trial and error isn't a negative statement. 219 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:30,480 It's a statement of saying that I know now what I didn't know then. 220 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:32,960 And I did my best with you then. 221 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:37,800 And you'll see me raise these other two completely different, but I need you to roll with me. 222 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:43,520 So there were times Scott that I brought the older kids back in because I missed some, 223 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:44,520 some points. 224 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:45,520 Yeah. 225 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:46,520 Like 20, 23. 226 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:48,600 And I'm like, yeah, you could come home. 227 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,480 I don't know why I did that, but they came home. 228 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:55,720 And I talked to them more about finances, what it looks like for it to have a retirement 229 00:09:55,720 --> 00:10:02,920 fund, what it looks like, you know, to purchase a car on your own without our money. 230 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,040 And then after that year was over, you can't return. 231 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:06,040 Like you cannot return. 232 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,880 I've done, I really, really did everything. 233 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:12,960 But I say all that I have to say is because it's, it's a leadership role that doesn't 234 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:13,960 stop. 235 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:14,960 No, you're in it. 236 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:15,960 You're in it. 237 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,280 But I love what you just said. 238 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:23,960 I mean, it's, it's, it's this kind of infinite game where it doesn't end. 239 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:24,960 No. 240 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:29,240 And we're constantly, if we're, if we're in that game and we're present, we are also learning. 241 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:33,760 So I love the fact that what you just said, look, there are a couple of things I missed. 242 00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:34,760 Maybe it's that modeling. 243 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:39,320 And I don't mean that you weren't modeling financial health. 244 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:44,060 I'm not saying that, but I need to teach you about financial health and I need you to understand 245 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,940 this because we didn't get to that. 246 00:10:45,940 --> 00:10:47,600 You still can. 247 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:53,200 You still can kind of pause and say, huh, you know, this isn't something we really had 248 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:57,040 on the radar when you were in your teens, but now I'm seeing it and we're going to, we're 249 00:10:57,040 --> 00:11:02,480 going to talk about that because I think your influence over the children over all of those 250 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:06,640 years, it's, we don't always get the immediate response. 251 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:08,440 The, wow, that's so wise. 252 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:10,240 Thank you for that advice. 253 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:11,240 Never. 254 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:12,640 Planting seeds, right? 255 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:19,000 We're planting seeds and probably sometime in, you know, 2060, they're going to go, you 256 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:23,120 know, mom, she was awesome. 257 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:24,120 And you know what? 258 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:26,880 I get the opportunity and I think I can voice on that. 259 00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:31,400 I often say I don't voice and I don't want to be voiceful nor do I want to say that I've 260 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:34,800 done everything right, but I do get the opportunity to hear it. 261 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:40,520 So in that area where we have, and I'm far from perfection, right? 262 00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:47,400 We're far from perfection, but where we reached it to a, to a level of saying, okay, I might 263 00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:50,240 be at my level of perfection, right? 264 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:55,240 Because it was just good enough to actually hear it, you know, and, and even in, in a 265 00:11:55,240 --> 00:12:04,360 business sense as, as a coach or as a CFO or CEO, we rarely get to hear that we've done 266 00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:06,120 well, you know what I mean? 267 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:10,880 And affirmation, you know, I know that there's these, there's the love languages and everything, 268 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:14,080 but affirmation is good for any of those love languages. 269 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:20,040 And that's to hear that we've done well, you know, we haven't may have not done our best, 270 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:27,240 but, and I say all that to say is that when, when you begin this coaching and in this, 271 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:32,520 this, this position, I think that they'll end up understanding that they've done the 272 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:40,320 best that they could and they should pat themselves on the back, you know, marriage and family, 273 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:41,720 that's a whole different ball game. 274 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:46,200 So Scott, when you touch on that, I'm going to be on every podcast. 275 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:53,000 I want my own book, because I'm still learning, but the world is different today. 276 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:59,240 So I've been able to speak with so many leaders that are talking about, you know, coaching 277 00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:00,520 and businesses. 278 00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:08,080 I met with a leader who coaches C-suite individuals and relationships and C-suite individuals 279 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,080 only. 280 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:16,240 And I'm like, whoa, like that's different because if our home life isn't working well, 281 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:21,320 then a lot of things don't work well there that follows. 282 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:26,800 So you're touching on something that says, Hey, I'm going to start at the core of life. 283 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:29,080 And so where do you go? 284 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:30,280 Where do you go from here? 285 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,480 Now that that's a thought. 286 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:35,560 Yeah, where do you go from here? 287 00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:38,600 You know, my wife and I, we have an outline. 288 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:45,080 And so we walk every morning at 530 a.m. kind of rain or shine, no bad weather, just bad 289 00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:46,500 gear is the mantra. 290 00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:51,440 So we were out there with Orion this morning walking along and it's kind of our stand up 291 00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:52,680 meeting every day. 292 00:13:52,680 --> 00:13:58,560 It's kind of our, we connect, we get on the same page about the day, we talk a little 293 00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:00,040 bit about the kids. 294 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:05,960 We might, we talked about a vacation that we want to do maybe in January just to get 295 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:12,560 a little vitamin D because we're vitamin D deficient come January in Northeast Ohio. 296 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:16,640 But you know, it's a wonderful, wonderful time of the day. 297 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:21,540 And so one thing we've talked about is do we just record a conversation on some of these 298 00:14:21,540 --> 00:14:28,680 different topics, whether it's financial health or gratitude, you know, modeling gratitude. 299 00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:30,160 My daughter, it's beautiful. 300 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:33,200 My daughter's and I didn't, I didn't grow up with this. 301 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:38,080 So just my wife very much has kind of an other orientation. 302 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:42,800 She will be a target and she will say, Oh, my colleagues really like Dr. Pepper and another 303 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,200 one really likes Diet Coke. 304 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:45,200 It's going to be a rough week. 305 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,360 I'm going to pick up a 12 pack. 306 00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:49,680 And her mind is just wired that way. 307 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:50,680 It's beautiful. 308 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:51,680 Mine isn't. 309 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:53,760 So I've had to learn that from her. 310 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:59,440 But what's so cool is that, you know, our daughters now will say, Oh, we have we have 311 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:03,360 a big week in rehearsals for the musical that we're in. 312 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,720 I'm going to make brownies and just kind of cheer everyone up. 313 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:11,680 And it's like, holy, wow, that is incredible that your mind is now wired in a way. 314 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:17,120 And that's been modeled for you to think of others and think of others in that way. 315 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,880 And you know, I still I haven't arrived. 316 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:22,680 I'm getting a teeny bit better at that. 317 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:27,320 But so what's next with that idea is, you know, I think we go on a walk and I think 318 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,720 we talk and we record it and then we transcribe that. 319 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:36,040 And then those conversations are going to be the foundation for, you know, putting something 320 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:37,040 out there. 321 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:43,760 But I often don't think that parents understand the impact they're having. 322 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:46,800 All of us who are serving in that role. 323 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:52,200 And you said something beautiful that I think if you're in a position of authority, you're 324 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:55,680 a coach or you're a leader or you're a parent. 325 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:57,920 I don't think we often get a lot of those. 326 00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:01,160 Oh, my gosh, thank you so much for working 60 hours last week. 327 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:03,120 That was you're an incredible supervisor. 328 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:05,200 Or I just love you so much, Dad. 329 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:06,320 You're the best ever. 330 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:12,540 Or I think those positions at times can be a little bit. 331 00:16:12,540 --> 00:16:14,760 They can be missing some of those accolades. 332 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:19,320 And that can be hard because you aren't necessarily getting some of that feedback back of what 333 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:21,040 you're putting out. 334 00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:27,640 But I think it's about chipping away and maintaining that other orientation and going out of your 335 00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:29,360 way for others. 336 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:31,840 And they'll see that they'll feel that. 337 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:33,920 And then that'll come back to you. 338 00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:36,680 There's a great quote, you know, life is like an echo. 339 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:39,120 You get back what you put out. 340 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:41,600 And you know, nothing else. 341 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:45,280 People remember you as someone who put out some incredible stuff. 342 00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:53,120 And that's I tell everyone is that I wake up wanting to create a living eulogy. 343 00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:59,520 I don't want to hear it when when I'm above and I'm looking down and you tell me that 344 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:00,640 I've done well. 345 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:02,760 I want to do that daily. 346 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:06,080 You know, and the goal is to love unconditionally. 347 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:07,080 Right. 348 00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:15,880 And I believe that in what you learned in your your minor studies is that love can be 349 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:18,240 conditional, but it should not. 350 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:24,480 Because based on each person, even even being a father or mother, our children are not the 351 00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:25,480 same. 352 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:26,480 Oh, no. 353 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:28,400 And we have to live with them. 354 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:29,400 You know what I mean? 355 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:32,400 And even identical twins are not the same. 356 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:33,400 Not at all. 357 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:34,400 Not at all. 358 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:39,080 I'm telling a friend of mine, I hid in the closet last week from my two daughters because 359 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:42,880 you had three doors to get to in order to get to me. 360 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:45,160 So I'm like, I can't do this. 361 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:47,080 I'm going to flip out. 362 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:51,320 So if I just sit in the closet just for a moment and hide. 363 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:58,400 But you know, it's it's it's the part of just knowing that you're OK with where you are. 364 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:02,760 You're in and you're as long as you're doing it in love. 365 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:03,760 Right. 366 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:09,720 And that's because love love heals all no matter what people think, because that smile 367 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:16,720 when when you came on, I think that the big smile just gave me goosebumps because life 368 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,720 isn't always filled with smiles. 369 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:19,720 Right. 370 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:22,820 And it's filled with so many different things. 371 00:18:22,820 --> 00:18:27,320 And when we're at home and we have that kind of weight on our shoulders and when we go 372 00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:32,800 into the world and there's a different type of weight, which I feel is a little bit heavier, 373 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:38,040 if we're not used to working out, which is working out within ourselves and loving ourselves 374 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:41,320 first, I don't know if we can lift any of those weights. 375 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:49,880 So I believe that you're doing something that is going to elevate life, the world. 376 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:58,200 I think that what's going to be in return is an abundance of of teaching as well as 377 00:18:58,200 --> 00:18:59,680 learning to love ourselves. 378 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:00,680 Right. 379 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:02,020 Because that's where it starts. 380 00:19:02,020 --> 00:19:08,880 And you and your wife and taking those walks and having a meeting, a meeting of the minds. 381 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:09,880 Right. 382 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:14,200 At that time, it's like, OK, the the feet are hitting the pavement, which is like, hey, 383 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:17,600 we're moving forward, but we're not moving forward alone. 384 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,400 We're doing this together. 385 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:24,840 So you recording those conversations, those authentic conversations, that goes your podcast 386 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:25,840 right there. 387 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:28,840 I'm all in. 388 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:35,160 I did I did meet a leader who does some of her podcasts while she's walking through a 389 00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:36,160 garden. 390 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:37,160 Oh, wow. 391 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:38,200 Yes, yes. 392 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:45,280 And so she often when she coaches, she often has her in her the people she's coaching walk 393 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:48,960 through a garden to show you say, what are you looking at? 394 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:51,700 And she's like, they're like, oh, I'm looking at a rock. 395 00:19:51,700 --> 00:19:52,960 Do you think it's heavy? 396 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,720 If so, what do you think is heavy about it? 397 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:58,240 You know, is it the weight or are you feeling that? 398 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:04,720 And I say that to say is that there's there's so much therapy and walking and being together 399 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:08,200 and you guys choosing to do this together. 400 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,120 And I think I'm more excited about what's the. 401 00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:14,120 Well, I'll keep you in the loop. 402 00:20:14,120 --> 00:20:17,880 You have to because I'm going to invite you to. 403 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:20,320 I'm going to send you a link. 404 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:25,120 And I think that, you know, one of the things that I've been hearing, Scott, over and over 405 00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:28,680 and over again, just do it. 406 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:29,680 Just do it. 407 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:33,200 And not to quote Nike, but I think that's the greatest quote ever. 408 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,600 We're often thinking of how to. 409 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:42,680 But if you have a feeling and then you serve a higher power and that higher power says, 410 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:43,680 go. 411 00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:48,880 Yeah, delayed obedience is no different from disobedience. 412 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:52,240 So I think you've been given the go. 413 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:53,240 I love it. 414 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:54,240 I'm trying to figure it out. 415 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:55,240 I love it. 416 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:58,800 Well, maybe we'll start recording tomorrow. 417 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,720 Hey, why not? 418 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:07,200 You know, the little little plug in a little microphone and then hey, yes, it's an intimate 419 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:13,720 conversation, but it's an intimate conversation that mimics and shows people what a healthy 420 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:15,280 relationship looks like. 421 00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:16,280 Right. 422 00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:17,280 And it starts with you. 423 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:18,280 So I'm super stoked. 424 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:24,080 I know that you have a day full of work and I want to be conscious of your time. 425 00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:32,080 And thank you, Scott, for being the first or the second person I get to see this morning 426 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:34,880 full of smiles and energy. 427 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:36,120 And I just love it. 428 00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:37,120 I just love it. 429 00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:39,520 And I appreciate you being a part of my morning. 430 00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:43,440 Well, I really, really appreciate the opportunity. 431 00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:50,400 And yes, I think you may have been the spark to ignite the start tomorrow. 432 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:51,400 Yes. 433 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:52,400 Yes. 434 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:57,600 But you'll have all my information in this email. 435 00:21:57,600 --> 00:21:58,600 I just want to see it. 436 00:21:58,600 --> 00:21:59,600 I did it. 437 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:01,040 I would love to see it. 438 00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:06,640 I did it because I believe that you have the key that you're going to open up some doors 439 00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:11,400 to some parents that didn't even know that they were doing well and didn't know that 440 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:16,480 they even if they're all done in there and in a home in a space where there is no children, 441 00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:17,480 they've done well. 442 00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:21,840 We need to hear it and we need to honor it and wear it as a badge of honor. 443 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:23,640 And you're the start of that, Scott. 444 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:25,000 Oh, well, thank you. 445 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:26,000 You're more than welcome. 446 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:31,280 I thought I was coming on to share my vision, but you've now given me a vision of the future. 447 00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:32,280 Thank you. 448 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:33,440 And you know what's funny? 449 00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:35,480 You shared it, but I'm so intrigued. 450 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:40,080 So I hope I didn't take it away. 451 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:41,080 No, no, not at all. 452 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:42,080 Not at all. 453 00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:44,960 I mean, actually, you've gotten me more excited about it. 454 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:46,840 And so I love that. 455 00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:47,840 I appreciate it. 456 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:49,120 Thank you for being here today. 457 00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:51,600 I'm really happy that you tuned in to Vision Pros Live. 458 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:56,360 I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions as these episodes continue to move forward. 459 00:22:56,360 --> 00:22:58,000 This is going to get more and more fun. 460 00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:00,120 We'll have more and more engagement as well. 461 00:23:00,120 --> 00:23:02,400 We'll invite people to participate in the show. 462 00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:04,640 And thank you for giving us your time and attention. 463 00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:22,520 Have an excellent time building out your vision and becoming a Vision Pro yourself.