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This is where we learn about leadership.

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Yes, absolutely.

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Huge and packed.

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Going live?

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Like I had no idea how much this would teach me

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about leadership, but one of my greatest weaknesses

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for those who are close to me know that it is,

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I have, I grew up with almost zero diplomacy skills

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whatsoever.

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And as I stepped into this podcast, you know,

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in my thirties, I still had no diplomacy skills, right?

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So I had a guest one time called Jen Z out

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as the problem of the world.

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And as a Papa bear, I wanted to destroy her

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for that moment of instinct, like, who are you

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and why do you think that you know everything?

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And I had to like calm myself down and think, okay,

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how do I address this, right?

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Without crushing this, because I don't want to crush

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the person, but my instinct, you know,

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like was going to come out, but when we're live, you know,

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we know we've got an audience.

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There's a little bit of an extra buffer

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that makes your brain stop and your mouth stop and think.

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So yes, this is a huge opportunity for leadership.

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What, let's start with that.

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What leadership skills has podcasting helped you

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refine and develop?

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To pause before those, you know,

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impulsivity of thinking your judgmental

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or analytical mind is correct and taking a pause

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to actually listen to what the person

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was trying to articulate and then regulating my emotions

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so that I can come back with a response.

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Yet, you know, being live in podcasts, mine aren't live.

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They're behind, like they're recorded because the space

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that I provide is honesty.

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So sometimes people are very transparent and honest,

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yet it's not something they want live with people.

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So I don't want to, you know, disrupt their healing process

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with the gift that I provide.

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Yet that leadership of really pausing

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and not thinking I know it all.

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And that has been a big thing with the impulsivity

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because it's instinctual, you want to pounce on something

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and it's like, but wait, do I have all the information?

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And did I actually listen to the person

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that's in front of me?

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That's huge.

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And that was something that I had some questions about

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with relation to the healing work that you do, right?

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I saw your framework and I was like, okay,

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feeling, processing, integration and releasing.

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And I was like, that's fantastic.

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This is a great formula.

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And then I was reading the rest and it says,

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talks about transforming your reactions,

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empowering your biology and, you know,

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living a life fulfilled, remembering to be kind to yourself.

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So there was some elements, it's like, okay,

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somebody who's ready to live a fulfilled life

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may already be past some of those basic,

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I shouldn't say past, but may already have developed

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strengths around some of those components,

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whereas some people are gonna come out of that framework

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for the first time.

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But I saw that framework and I was like,

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that resonates with so many principles that I've learned.

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I was like, I can't wait to dive in deeper with you.

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Again, we're gonna cut for a break, but before we do,

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and before we talk about the resources,

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I feel inspired by you to talk about that framework first.

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So do you mind sharing more about that?

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In a world where we're told not to feel

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and we are distracted by numbing and, you know,

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disassociating and blaming, the healing is in feeling

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and to feel your authentic emotions.

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And when you're gonna feel your authentic emotions,

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there are going to be information that's going to come up

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that you may not want to integrate in you

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because you have a belief or a mask of an identity

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that it's gonna conflict with,

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where if you're not feeling those emotions,

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you're not able to get to your authentic self,

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which is really just connecting back into self,

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your vulnerability.

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So the crux is really having an honest space

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to be able to feel and not allow your analytical

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and judgment mind stop that charge

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because it goes against whatever the identity

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you've created for yourself.

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And in a world where we're not allowed to make mistakes.

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So if we make a mistake, then what is that about our identity?

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Yet once you allow yourself to feel through,

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that's where you can be a much more authentic leader

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that you can allow yourself to be in the human side of it,

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not just robotic and mindset and also spiritual by bypassing.

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It's really allowing there to be a realness in there

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so that change can come from the inside out,

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not from trying to make it fit in the outside.

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And the basic of that is you have to understand

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your nervous system.

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If you don't understand your nervous system,

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you don't understand your triggers.

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You don't understand why when you're dysregulated

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or you're in the fight, flight, spawn or freeze.

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And you're reaching out for something.

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So show me.

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I had to go this book because you honored something

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that I haven't articulated ever before,

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but it's one of my absolute favorite books.

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So this book by Michael Gerber, The E-Myth, right?

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This book, when you listen to the audio

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and you hear the story that he talks about,

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you can hear the care, the compassion

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and the feeling and what he's teaching.

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The book is extremely cerebral.

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It's all about procedures, resources and templates

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if you're not paying attention to the feeling.

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But I've been wondering, and he didn't call it

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the entrepreneur myth.

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He called it the E-Myth.

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And I always speculate that this is about

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the emotional intelligence myth, that it's,

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but it applies to both.

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So it's kind of like that phrase from the Bible,

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the I am aspect and trying, you can't really teach somebody

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what that means.

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That's something that over time you start to discover

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the depth and breadth and perspectives.

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So you just help me unlock it

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because I usually teach people about the logistics

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of the E-Myth and you're right, the underlying reality,

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the more powerful aspect is, are you showing up,

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caring about the people that you're working with,

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taking good care of them?

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And yes, these resources help with that process,

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but the focus is on the people.

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Talk to me about processing.

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What does that mean to you?

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Processing means, again, feeling your authentic emotions,

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having the accountability to see your actions,

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to see how you're treating yourself

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because everything comes from the inside out.

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You know, we can all of a sudden scold our children

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and then if there's a stranger,

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we have the nicest demeanor with them.

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And then your children will call you out like,

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why were you treating me this way,

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but you're all pleasant with this stranger

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and putting on a facade.

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Yet the more that you can understand everything's coming

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from the inside out and those that are very subjective

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and close to you, bring out those emotions and temperament.

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And if you haven't learned to befriend them,

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then you're treating the closest people

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probably like garbage and the strangers,

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you're presenting this mask of adore me

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and see how kind and precious I am.

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Yet you're not really living it.

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You're not embodying it.

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Am I allow my, I have two Padwins,

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I don't know if you're a Star Wars fan,

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yet the Jedi that I am, the Padwins come

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and my twins call me out all the time.

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Like you just did this and now you're acting this way.

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And it's like, okay, let me be accountable for my emotions

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and articulate why I reacted this way.

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And then I'm still learning and growing

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so that you can learn also in your book, Big Emotions,

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what that looks like in the modeling process.

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Because the thing with healing, in my experience,

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I came to this space 10 years ago,

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because I had lesions in my brain

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and my brainstem and cerebellum.

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So I had a front seat with the nervous system

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and seeing all the traumas and all this stuff.

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So I had this wisdom intelligence yet to embody it.

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Oh my gosh, and in the parenting role,

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I can be all calm and joyful in other spaces

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in my parenting role, it unnerves all my work.

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And I have to have the accountability to wanna face it

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and to acknowledge when I've made mistakes,

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acknowledge that I'm human,

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acknowledge where some of the things that they're doing,

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I just don't wanna see about myself

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because I was triggered as a child

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or I was othered or berated or whatever that is.

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Yet again, that's my feeling,

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that I have to have the emotions that need to come up

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so that they don't trigger me anymore.

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That I can pause and articulate and use conversations,

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not shut things down because I don't have the tools

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to process and feel.

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If that makes sense.

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Oh, it makes a lot of sense.

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It matters for our children,

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it matters for our team members,

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it matters for our clients,

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the ability to step back and process

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like you're talking about,

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and then the ability to vulnerably share.

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It empowers people to feel that sense of compassion for you.

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You know, and realize that, okay,

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they don't think they're above everybody else.

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They're human.

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So I got four kiddos and I'm twice divorced.

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And I've been single for,

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and living by myself for a little more than two years,

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I believe, with quite a few stints in between like that.

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And so I was explaining to my children

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about probably 10 months ago,

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I was noticing a pattern with myself

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that I don't do well with noise anymore.

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I'm used to having a very silent environment.

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And so I've almost, I was like, kiddos,

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there's something called a hermit.

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Have you ever heard of that?

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And they're like, what?

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I was like, well, it's somebody who lives alone,

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and they kind of like are away from the world.

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And I was like,

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I kind of have those tendencies developing within me.

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And so I get triggered by noise sometimes,

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and I'm not mad at you.

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I'm just out of my environment,

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and it kind of freaks me out.

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And so we were walking on this path,

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and I said, here's what I want you all to do with me.

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Obviously I was really stressed

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that I wouldn't have been talking to them about this.

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I was like, I was really feeling it.

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And we're walking on the same path that on a routine basis,

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this is where I go for my tranquility,

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and it ain't happening with three kids, my three oldest.

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And so I said, let's play, we're gonna play a game,

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we're gonna try this.

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I said, I want everybody to walk as ninja as possible,

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no scuffs to the shoes, nothing, for 10 whole seconds,

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and just listen to what do you hear.

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Right, and so it took us three tries, right?

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Which I was buying myself 40 seconds of silence.

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And so we go through this experience,

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and then afterwards, I said, what did you hear?

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We're all calm, everybody picks up.

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Somebody says the cars, somebody says the birds,

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somebody said something else, and the wind.

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And I was like, thank you.

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I was like, that's what I'm used to focusing on

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when you guys aren't here.

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And sometimes it's disruptive.

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So anyway, that process of talking to,

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whether it's our kids or our team or our clients,

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all the people around us and sharing that,

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it's an important constant reminder

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because we can get so caught up

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in everything that's going on.

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So then you've got integration, how does that work?

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Integrate is accepting yourself,

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dropping the mask that you think you need to be

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00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:26,640
and actually accepting the whole of you with a W.

262
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:31,520
And I love just to go back to what you said,

263
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:36,520
you actually supported your needs without trying to,

264
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:40,440
you went about it in a way that you had to go,

265
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:41,920
but you didn't blame them.

266
00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:45,840
You found a game to show what your needs were.

267
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:48,920
And I have a story to go on the opposite of that

268
00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:52,960
because like I said, I almost died almost 11 years ago now.

269
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:56,000
So the twins were four and I learned meditation

270
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,440
when they were five and I'm a solo parent.

271
00:12:58,440 --> 00:12:59,920
So when you learn meditation,

272
00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:04,480
they tell you to create a nice, soft, quiet spot.

273
00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:05,320
You got two kids.

274
00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:08,480
Yeah, I was like, that's not happening.

275
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,360
So I had to take meditation on the couch.

276
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:13,880
And as you know, when you're meditating,

277
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:17,120
you wanna try to control the environment.

278
00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:21,480
Yet what I learned is to regulate my nervous system

279
00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:23,440
that it doesn't need to control.

280
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:24,280
Exactly.

281
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:25,120
And that it's not being stolen.

282
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:26,680
I don't agree with the one to control the environment.

283
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:29,640
It's like, I only control what I can control.

284
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:34,240
And our children are so magnetic to our nervous system

285
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:38,640
to unearth the places that we don't wanna do the work right

286
00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:39,480
now.

287
00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:41,320
Well, of course.

288
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:42,800
I had the same thing the other day.

289
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:45,560
Like I took meditation on the couch so I could see

290
00:13:45,560 --> 00:13:48,080
when they were fighting how it wanted to like stop

291
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:49,080
the bench or stop.

292
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,360
And it was like, come back to the breath, come back.

293
00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:53,320
So I did that warrior work.

294
00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:55,120
So I understand that space.

295
00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:58,080
And the other day they've been back at school.

296
00:13:58,080 --> 00:13:59,720
So the house is quiet.

297
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:02,440
Saturday came, I wanted to be productive,

298
00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:05,760
do some editing, do some voiceovers and some stuff.

299
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:08,880
One's in the bathroom with his kick talk loud.

300
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:11,440
The other one's screaming on his PlayStation.

301
00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:13,920
And inside me, it started bubbling.

302
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,600
I just wanted it quiet.

303
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:16,480
I wanted it quiet.

304
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:17,360
I want it quiet.

305
00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:19,640
Yet it was like, I was gonna start barking.

306
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:20,680
This is my house.

307
00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:22,840
And it was like, breathe through it.

308
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:26,160
Breathe and let yourself go through.

309
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:28,640
And I said like high five Nat,

310
00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:30,800
cause you know, maybe two years ago,

311
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:32,560
you would have started yelling at them

312
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:33,880
and telling them to quiet down

313
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:37,200
cause you thought you superseded the environment

314
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,640
rather than feeling and seeing that,

315
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:42,480
you know what, you're sharing space with other humans.

316
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:44,880
So articulate if you really needed the silence,

317
00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:46,400
they would have respected that.

318
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,320
Yet it's also their day off.

319
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:50,040
Like it's everybody's day off.

320
00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:53,880
So take your day off too of wanting to be productive

321
00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:55,280
and whatnot.

322
00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:58,680
So thank you for, you know, really articulating

323
00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:01,040
and showing the listeners like to be a leader.

324
00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:03,760
You also have to explain your needs.

325
00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:06,640
Yet that process is feeling.

326
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,080
And like I just explained the integration

327
00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:13,440
of accepting yourself and accepting where your triggers

328
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:16,680
may be wanting to stop what the environment is.

329
00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:20,640
Yet in that stopping, you may be humiliated

330
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:23,480
by the actions you've taken because it goes against

331
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:25,680
what you're trying to show up as.

332
00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:28,880
So really taking that moment of acceptance

333
00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:30,600
and really understanding yourself,

334
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:32,240
understanding the triggers,

335
00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:34,680
understanding the messiness also.

336
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:35,720
Exactly.

337
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:38,680
The ability to live in that present, in that moment, right?

338
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:42,120
And keep that presence alive is so, there's the,

339
00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:43,840
I learned in a book called

340
00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:46,040
Feelings Buried Alive Never Die,

341
00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:49,640
that namaste and aloha mean the same thing.

342
00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:54,680
And they both mean my soul honors your soul,

343
00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:57,040
which is also interpreted as

344
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:59,680
I am actually perfect the way I am.

345
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:02,280
You are perfect the way you are.

346
00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:03,640
And change is perfect.

347
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:07,120
And that you can also be the environment, right?

348
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:09,640
So whether it's Man's Search for Happiness

349
00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:11,720
and the guy living in the prison

350
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:16,000
and being able to create his holistic reality,

351
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:19,280
like those elements are so important.

352
00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:23,080
And before we go into the releasing side of things,

353
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:25,520
and talking about the release of it,

354
00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:30,800
you talked about acceptance of the faults too,

355
00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:33,880
and like embracing that reality, like the whole,

356
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:36,120
like it's not just the good side,

357
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,120
as much as it is everything.

358
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,720
And to be able to do that

359
00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:43,640
and removing that sense of judgment

360
00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:45,600
while appreciating change,

361
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,240
it's a really interesting recipe for people to say,

362
00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:49,160
like, how does that work?

363
00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:50,000
You know, how does that work for me?

364
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,200
It's, you're gonna, those you listen in, right?

365
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:54,320
That's for you to figure out and see what,

366
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:55,720
how that works for you.

367
00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:59,360
And if it's, you know, I think if you're stressed

368
00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:02,840
and anxious, oh, that's, that's what I think I wanna say.

369
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:03,960
People who see them might hear like,

370
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:05,720
oh, well, Jackson sounds like a perfect parent.

371
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,360
Like, I don't have the opportunity

372
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,960
to parent my kids full-time, right?

373
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:13,720
So on one side, like, I hold a very sacred space

374
00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:16,760
for marriage and for the unions that have been able

375
00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:18,040
to fight the tough times,

376
00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:19,160
because they are tough,

377
00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:21,840
and who are able to make it through the challenges

378
00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,080
of co-parenting and trying to love each other

379
00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:26,320
in spite of your difficulties and differences.

380
00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:28,800
I only get to parent every other weekend.

381
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,760
And then during the summer, I have two weeks on,

382
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:31,800
two weeks off.

383
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,400
And so the two weeks that are on,

384
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,360
oh, I have my, my struggles for sure.

385
00:17:35,360 --> 00:17:37,280
Oh, I get it, it is a much harder process.

386
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:39,800
So the parents who are in it day in and day out,

387
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:41,520
you have a bigger battle.

388
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:42,520
When my kids were young,

389
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,920
one of the things I'm so grateful that came to my mind

390
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:48,920
was I began to realize I have this like fear

391
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,880
or anger of loud noises.

392
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:56,200
And so I bought a little file that hung on my key chain,

393
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,880
and I bought a bunch of earplugs.

394
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:02,880
And so I would literally put the earplugs in

395
00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:04,640
when we were in the car with the kids,

396
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:06,800
or when I was gonna be around the kids for a long time,

397
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:08,200
I could still hear everything,

398
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:09,760
because I've got like super hearing,

399
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:13,480
but it would calm the noise so that I wouldn't react

400
00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:18,480
when the frequencies or the vibes were just so crushing

401
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:21,160
for me that I like lose myself.

402
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:24,200
So there are lots of things that we can do.

403
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:26,720
Earplugs is the thing that saved my life.

404
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:29,160
That's a lifesaver, I tell you.

405
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:32,240
Once you start having more self-awareness

406
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:33,600
and you're more present,

407
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:36,660
your sensitivity is heightened even more.

408
00:18:36,660 --> 00:18:39,120
And the things that wanna come up,

409
00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:41,840
wanna come up yet you're still pushing it down.

410
00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:44,560
Like for me, I'm an only child.

411
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:46,520
So when the twins were having,

412
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:48,680
and they still have sibling rivalry,

413
00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:50,280
I couldn't comprehend this,

414
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:52,280
because I wanna be Kumbaya,

415
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:54,440
everybody's in a joyful state,

416
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,520
you should be thankful you have a sibling.

417
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:59,120
And it's like, but logically I knew as twins,

418
00:18:59,120 --> 00:19:00,920
they're fighting for my attention

419
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,680
and fighting for I'm the better person

420
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:05,440
and fighting for their identity.

421
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:08,960
Yet internally, I was going bonkers with that.

422
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:12,180
Like them fighting and wanting to interfere,

423
00:19:12,180 --> 00:19:14,200
and what happens when you interfere,

424
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:15,760
you get hit in the face.

425
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:17,760
And even one of the twins, one time I was like,

426
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:19,540
I don't understand your relationship.

427
00:19:19,540 --> 00:19:20,840
And he looked at me and he's like,

428
00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:22,440
why do you need to understand it?

429
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:24,640
It's not you, it's between me and him.

430
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,480
It has nothing to do with you.

431
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:29,620
And that was like, I don't wanna hear that.

432
00:19:29,620 --> 00:19:32,000
Yet it's logically true.

433
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,240
You embody that?

434
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,840
I think I need to separate the villain and the victim.

435
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:42,580
Because our nervous system goes by feeling.

436
00:19:42,580 --> 00:19:44,960
It doesn't know past, present or future.

437
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:49,200
So I have some emotionally charged painful experience

438
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:52,920
from my childhood that when these sensations come up

439
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:56,920
in my direct experience, it comes up in these feelings.

440
00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:58,800
And it's like, oh, wait a minute.

441
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:01,200
This is how, and it's like, wait a minute.

442
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,600
This is where the integration of what happened before

443
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,480
isn't happening now.

444
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:08,720
What is the stuff that's coming up inside you

445
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,280
that's distorting what you are experiencing

446
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:14,080
in the present moment with these children?

447
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:18,000
And that takes a lot of practice

448
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,980
because it's going to enheighten

449
00:20:19,980 --> 00:20:23,240
and it's not to berate your sensitivity.

450
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:24,720
It's to support it.

451
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:27,560
So yeah, those earplugs and they have,

452
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:32,560
even those in silent earplugs now that take out the,

453
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:35,200
because the frequency-

454
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:36,680
Voice cancellation.

455
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:40,320
Yeah, the frequencies can be so overwhelming

456
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:44,720
that I'm hearing everything and I'm feeling everything

457
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:45,800
from people's emotions.

458
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,600
So when I'm in public settings,

459
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:49,200
there's sometimes I'm just silent

460
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:53,720
because I'm reading so much that it's overwhelming me.

461
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,640
And it's like, I don't want to go outside of myself.

462
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,740
It's like, be present with you

463
00:20:58,740 --> 00:21:02,600
so that you aren't trying to fix other people

464
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:04,880
and trying to listen to other people.

465
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:07,380
You're listening to the guidance within yourself,

466
00:21:07,380 --> 00:21:09,560
yet also supporting yourself.

467
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:10,720
Because when we were younger,

468
00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:14,760
we were told a lot of things that we experienced in life

469
00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:16,600
was an inconvenience.

470
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:20,240
Yet now as an adult, you want to support those needs

471
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:22,000
and you want to be able to articulate

472
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,000
and communicate what your needs are

473
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:27,720
while still sharing space with others.

474
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,400
And that is the work of a leadership.

475
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:32,440
Not just berating and telling people

476
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:34,200
how the environment needs to be,

477
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:37,200
it's how can I blossom in this environment

478
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:41,680
and support my needs so that I'm not projecting

479
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:43,320
or shutting down.

480
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:44,160
It's amazing.

481
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:46,320
I love how you said that the leadership

482
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:48,920
is sharing the space too with the others.

483
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:51,080
It's so, that's such great wisdom.

484
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:54,320
So the last one, releasing, we're gonna wait.

485
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:55,400
We'll come back to releasing.

486
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:58,100
So for now, what are the three resources

487
00:21:58,100 --> 00:22:00,160
that you recommend for other visionary leaders

488
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:01,360
who are on the same path

489
00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:03,640
or they're building something that truly matters to them?

490
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:06,200
What's really helped you get to where you are?

491
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:09,040
The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer.

492
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:13,600
He is very direct with the nervous system

493
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:18,240
and releasing and really letting go of the meaning

494
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:20,000
the mind wants to make on everything

495
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,980
because that's what makes us trip up on a lot of things

496
00:22:22,980 --> 00:22:24,800
and not being able to be present.

497
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:31,000
I love Dr. Shafali.

498
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:35,200
She helped me to untether a lot of things

499
00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:37,080
within my parenting role,

500
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:39,800
which then really shows you your inner child

501
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:40,920
and your inner work.

502
00:22:41,780 --> 00:22:43,320
So anything with Dr. Shafali,

503
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:46,600
you don't have to be a parent to really understand her work,

504
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:49,040
but that's the way she presents it.

505
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:53,240
And also Eckhart Tolle helped me to enter the space

506
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:58,240
of the now and really just be present with, again,

507
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:01,160
releasing that analytical meaning mind

508
00:23:02,360 --> 00:23:04,920
so that you can be in the self.

509
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:06,600
And those were the three people

510
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:08,880
that I recommend to everybody.

511
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:12,240
There are other resources that I have used,

512
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:16,780
yet those ones created in such a simple term

513
00:23:16,780 --> 00:23:18,860
that it's not easy to apply,

514
00:23:18,860 --> 00:23:22,760
yet if you do apply it, you will see the benefits of it.

515
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:26,680
I am so, so grateful that I am not in a spelling bee today

516
00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:28,080
and that Google is on my side.

517
00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:29,360
Those are great resources.

518
00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:30,180
We will pull them out.

519
00:23:30,180 --> 00:23:31,520
We'll be right back after the break

520
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:33,740
and we'll dive into Nat and that's vision.

521
00:23:33,740 --> 00:23:36,960
All right, welcome in to Vision Pros Live.

522
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:39,040
With Jackson Callum, I'm your show host.

523
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:41,720
We'll be doing interviews for visionary entrepreneurs

524
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:43,680
and guest leaders who are building

525
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:45,200
fantastic visions out there.

526
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:48,200
["Vision Pros Live"]

527
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:55,160
Hey, what's up everybody?

528
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:57,300
Welcome into another episode of Vision Pros Live.

529
00:23:57,300 --> 00:23:58,860
I'm your show host, Jackson Callum,

530
00:23:58,860 --> 00:24:01,380
founder and CEO of First Class Business.

531
00:24:01,380 --> 00:24:03,900
And I've got Nat-Nat Bidart with me today.

532
00:24:03,900 --> 00:24:06,320
She is a healing expert and we're gonna be talking

533
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:08,840
about transforming your reactions.

534
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,280
In fact, if you're just joining us,

535
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:11,760
you're definitely gonna wanna go back

536
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:13,580
and see what we talked about earlier

537
00:24:13,580 --> 00:24:16,720
because we already laid out three of the four components

538
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:19,420
of a fantastic framework for making sure

539
00:24:19,420 --> 00:24:22,200
that we're getting the most out of ourselves

540
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,600
in order to get the most out of our lives.

541
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:26,260
So we'll bring her right back on.

542
00:24:26,260 --> 00:24:28,380
First, I'm gonna go over a couple of resources

543
00:24:28,380 --> 00:24:31,480
that can be very helpful for each of you as visionaries.

544
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:35,660
The first one is Brain Glue by James Bond.

545
00:24:35,660 --> 00:24:37,800
I've now came to him with the title of

546
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:41,280
He's Got a License to Feel.

547
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,660
And he helps people tap into their feelings

548
00:24:43,660 --> 00:24:44,540
when it comes to marketing.

549
00:24:44,540 --> 00:24:48,960
This book by Jack Canfield sold 130 million copies

550
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:50,400
of Chicken Soup for the Soul.

551
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:52,040
He's very good at what he does.

552
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:56,180
And Jack said, you would be an idiot as an entrepreneur

553
00:24:56,180 --> 00:24:58,440
not to buy James's book.

554
00:24:58,440 --> 00:24:59,680
That's how powerful this was.

555
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:02,600
He's also mad that he didn't come up with the concept himself.

556
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:06,280
I would go to Amazon, listen to the little audio clip.

557
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:07,760
It will probably make you laugh out loud.

558
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:11,120
The story he tells about learning how to move

559
00:25:11,120 --> 00:25:14,320
from logical marketing to move into emotions.

560
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:15,200
It's a fun book.

561
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:16,860
And he reminds me a little bit

562
00:25:16,860 --> 00:25:19,040
of the late and great Robin Williams.

563
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:21,080
If you ever get the chance to meet and talk to James Bond,

564
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:22,400
it's an absolute pleasure.

565
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:24,840
Then there's another tool that just came across our Raider

566
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:26,000
and it's called Ticker.

567
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,320
Now I'm gonna tell you right now,

568
00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:30,560
I am not a financial advisor.

569
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:31,640
That is not my strength.

570
00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:34,120
But when Sean Tepper came on the show the other day

571
00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:36,600
and presented himself as a leader,

572
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:39,200
not only did he build this software in the SaaS program

573
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:41,600
to be able to help beginners learn how to invest

574
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:43,120
in the stock market,

575
00:25:43,120 --> 00:25:46,140
I don't worry too much about SaaS platforms

576
00:25:46,140 --> 00:25:48,080
because there's so many coming out.

577
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:50,700
I look at what is the quality of the leader

578
00:25:50,700 --> 00:25:53,440
that is behind the SaaS platform and the team.

579
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:56,400
And I was ultra impressed with what he's up to.

580
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:59,600
And so I highly recommend if you're in the stock space

581
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,000
and you like to look at trading

582
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,000
or you like to look at investing,

583
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,720
he doesn't condemn the trader route,

584
00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:08,360
but he does point out a really valuable

585
00:26:08,360 --> 00:26:09,720
and important statistic

586
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:12,980
that there are no billionaires who day trade.

587
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:15,800
There are lots of billionaires

588
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:17,820
who understand how to invest long-term.

589
00:26:17,820 --> 00:26:20,560
So this is not a get rich quick platform.

590
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:22,640
This is about helping people understand

591
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:25,240
how the process works and giving you the data

592
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:27,360
and the science and the algorithms behind it

593
00:26:27,360 --> 00:26:30,240
to recognize what stocks may or may not be for you.

594
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:32,800
Again, for me, not necessarily my thing,

595
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:35,700
but what is my thing are phenomenal leaders like Kim

596
00:26:35,700 --> 00:26:37,240
and making sure those phenomenal leaders

597
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:38,160
continue to lead the world

598
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:41,220
because that's how you know

599
00:26:41,220 --> 00:26:43,280
if something's really gonna stand the test of time or not

600
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:45,520
is do they have great leadership.

601
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:46,760
Then there's the water project.

602
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:49,000
We are not affiliated in any way, shape or form

603
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:50,120
with the water project.

604
00:26:50,120 --> 00:26:53,200
But when I found out that there's millions of people

605
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,560
who don't have access to clean drinking water,

606
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:58,440
I began to internalize what it would be like.

607
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:01,040
And I've never been without water.

608
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:04,200
I've never really been truly thirsty.

609
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:07,040
So this was something I had to then choose to step into.

610
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:09,940
And it wasn't hard when I saw that these kids

611
00:27:09,940 --> 00:27:12,960
celebrate water like my kids celebrate Christmas day.

612
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,800
And when they don't have it, it was disturbing to me

613
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:18,680
like, golly, that's the stuff they have to drink.

614
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:23,360
So it is certainly an emotionally triggering reality,

615
00:27:23,360 --> 00:27:25,200
but emotional triggers can lead us

616
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:27,900
to some of the greatest transformations in our own lives.

617
00:27:27,900 --> 00:27:30,820
My hope is that you will take this opportunity

618
00:27:30,820 --> 00:27:32,920
to look and see what are these communities going through?

619
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:33,900
How can you help?

620
00:27:33,900 --> 00:27:36,400
If you can give five or $20,

621
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:37,900
they will give you an update

622
00:27:37,900 --> 00:27:40,160
that that project actually came to fruition.

623
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:41,200
How cool is that?

624
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:43,160
And in addition, if you're in a position

625
00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:45,780
where financially you just can't help right now,

626
00:27:45,780 --> 00:27:48,840
my hope is that you meditate just for one minute

627
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:51,240
on who you might be able to share this with

628
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:53,400
because you never know if that person

629
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:55,680
will be able to donate 100,000

630
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:59,120
or tag somebody else in that process who can get involved.

631
00:27:59,120 --> 00:28:00,900
We can change the world if we work together on this.

632
00:28:00,900 --> 00:28:03,680
We've got 8 billion people to help in the world.

633
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:06,480
So if there's a cause out there and you're like,

634
00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:09,240
Jackson, I wish you would talk about this cause instead,

635
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:10,720
drop the cause in the comments.

636
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:12,320
It's not a matter of like,

637
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:14,240
yours is better than mine, et cetera.

638
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:15,760
It's a matter of getting us exposure.

639
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:19,360
We might talk about the cause that you put on our radar

640
00:28:19,360 --> 00:28:22,860
on the show next, or also even contribute to it ourselves.

641
00:28:22,860 --> 00:28:24,640
Let's just dive in and help though.

642
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:27,400
Without further ado, Nat-Nat Bedard,

643
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:29,520
welcome back to Vision Pros Live.

644
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:31,880
Thank you so much for having me here.

645
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:35,480
I really appreciate what you were doing with the platform

646
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:38,520
and how intentional you are

647
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,560
with what you wanna bring out in the world

648
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:41,600
and what you're creating.

649
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:44,520
So thank you, Jackson, for that intention

650
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:47,560
that you're growing and you're growing a community

651
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:49,480
which is needed in the world.

652
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:50,880
Huge, thank you.

653
00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:52,360
Talk to me about that.

654
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:57,360
What elements of intention really inspired you about this?

655
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:01,800
Cause visionaries listening in right now,

656
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:05,040
one of the things I'm doing is what Michael Gerber talks

657
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:06,240
about in that book, the E-Myth,

658
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:08,680
and Gina Wickman talks about rocket fuel.

659
00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:10,720
And that is making sure that you meet

660
00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:13,400
with people one-on-one and you find out

661
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:15,640
why do they wanna be involved?

662
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:16,480
What do they see?

663
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:17,400
What are their feelings?

664
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:18,240
What are they like?

665
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:19,920
What are they don't like?

666
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:23,040
That ability to just kind of get with the one person

667
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:25,000
and figure that out, even if we are live.

668
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:28,320
I'm gonna do the same thing behind the scenes, by the way.

669
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:30,640
And ask what else can we do better?

670
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:31,840
What did you love about this?

671
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:34,480
So this is awesome that you bring this up.

672
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:35,320
Tell me about that.

673
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:38,120
What intentionality really draws your attention?

674
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:42,280
I think it's really because I see people,

675
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:46,200
that's been my gift, that I see the sincerity

676
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:51,200
and I see where their interests are.

677
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:55,920
And also I'm seeing how they're feeling in their emotions.

678
00:29:55,920 --> 00:30:00,000
What are they allowing to be transparent in there?

679
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:03,640
And also seeing, okay, well, what matters to them?

680
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,160
Like, is it only money that matters to them?

681
00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:08,240
Is it only the numbers?

682
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:10,080
Is it only the quantity?

683
00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:13,360
Or are they wanting to build community?

684
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:14,400
Like whatever you choose,

685
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:17,560
that's the story that you wanna choose.

686
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:18,920
And that's fine.

687
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:21,720
It's who do I wanna align with?

688
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:25,600
And I think more and more, when you are intentional,

689
00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:28,880
you draw people that are intentional around you.

690
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:30,000
The ones that aren't,

691
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:34,080
they cannot handle the light that you have.

692
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:37,720
And they cannot show up with their mask

693
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:39,560
because they just get melted away in it.

694
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:43,200
And then it also imparts to them,

695
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:45,760
maybe there is a change I can get into.

696
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:47,560
Maybe I'm going too superficial

697
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:50,840
and there's more depth that I can go into life.

698
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:54,120
So it's really being able to listen to people.

699
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:56,840
I think where we like to talk a lot,

700
00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:59,800
it's like, no, you have to step back and listen

701
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:01,640
because that's the fault of a lot of people.

702
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:05,080
They trust in the words, they're not looking at the actions.

703
00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:07,160
And actions takes time.

704
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:10,200
I could tell you all kinds of stuff right now, Jackson,

705
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:12,920
that I'm doing this and that and blah, blah, blah.

706
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:15,240
Yet then when you start to see me, it's like,

707
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:16,840
oh, that's not really matching up

708
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:18,960
of what you're presenting to people.

709
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:23,160
Yet you can feel it in our discussion right now

710
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:26,240
where I'm revealing some things where it's like, oh no.

711
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:27,960
And I can see it and feel it

712
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:30,720
in the way that you're revealing things that it's like,

713
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:32,560
no, this is an intentional life

714
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:35,680
and that it's going in more depth of this.

715
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:39,680
It's not just in the superficial that we're led as a child

716
00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:42,800
to be very superficial, to get that career,

717
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:46,520
to get those numbers, to get that money, to get the power.

718
00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:47,360
Yeah.

719
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:48,960
It's also very much survival instinct.

720
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:50,520
Those of you listening who are like eating this up,

721
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:51,360
come and join us.

722
00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:53,280
I mean, like I gotta say that right now,

723
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:54,840
like come in and join this process

724
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:57,440
because you don't always have environments

725
00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:58,640
around you like that.

726
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:02,680
And like for instance, I cannot be vulnerable

727
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:05,000
with the world, like the entire world and say,

728
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:06,720
hey guys, I'm going on vacation.

729
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:08,440
I'm gonna leave my front door unlocked.

730
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:12,840
And by the way, I have a stack of cash

731
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:15,400
that's sitting in my closet on the shelf.

732
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:19,600
If you can't do that, there's a healthy space

733
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:22,360
that has to be created in order for vulnerability

734
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:25,880
to be respected and to not be damaged.

735
00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:27,640
Yet as you talk about,

736
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:30,640
we kind of learn to hide all vulnerabilities.

737
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:32,680
So to power down on your stick,

738
00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:36,360
you'd inspired a really big thought on Sunday.

739
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:38,120
I shared with a friend at church.

740
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:41,680
I showed him something that I, a message I had received

741
00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:42,960
and he looks at me like,

742
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:45,680
I said, just pray for me, man.

743
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:50,800
And so he put his arm around me and I was like, I got you.

744
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:52,720
And he invited me over that night.

745
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:55,920
So we're gonna play this game with the family.

746
00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:58,240
And before we start playing the game,

747
00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:00,760
he's just talking about his father

748
00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:04,480
and his father passing away when he was 14.

749
00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:06,320
And I'm just listening,

750
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:08,480
you know how this goes, that and that, right?

751
00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:10,320
We're just diving, I'm just diving fully in.

752
00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:11,920
He's not really anticipating that.

753
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:14,400
And you can tell because he's starting to get

754
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:15,920
a little bit teary-eyed,

755
00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:18,000
maybe it might be that case, right?

756
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:19,640
And I see the breath come and I'm like,

757
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:21,320
okay, that's definitely it.

758
00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:26,320
And he is kind of like on the cusp of shutting the door

759
00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:29,960
on it, but he's also kind of continuing the conversation

760
00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:34,200
and just do a few very gentle questions,

761
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:35,280
to allow him to go.

762
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:38,120
And then next thing you know, he's like,

763
00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:39,600
I didn't mean to, he's like, I'm not,

764
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:41,760
I'm not like meaning to go down.

765
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:43,840
I was like, it's okay to cry.

766
00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:46,120
I was like, it's good.

767
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:51,040
And then he let the tears flow

768
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:52,440
for a little bit, you know,

769
00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:57,120
and allowed himself to share an incredibly deep

770
00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:58,840
and wonderful story with me,

771
00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:01,480
an experience about his father.

772
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:03,840
And then I was able to reciprocate.

773
00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:07,000
And part of it was perhaps a challenge

774
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:10,360
of accepting his father's role in his life.

775
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:12,760
And as he came to understand that

776
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:17,560
my story was equally interesting,

777
00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:21,800
he then began to be able to foster, cultivate,

778
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:24,920
and kind of appreciate some of what he went through

779
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:25,760
with his dad.

780
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:28,280
It was just a really good healing moment, right?

781
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:29,560
For us to be able to meet on that.

782
00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:34,160
And that type of, and we all have access to these powers,

783
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:36,440
but we start with one pushup, right?

784
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:38,520
And we build as we continue to grow.

785
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:39,960
So visionaries keep doing that.

786
00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:43,200
Nat-Nat, you have extreme superpowers in this regard.

787
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:45,840
What is your vision for the people that you serve?

788
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:50,840
I wanna empower them to embrace their uniqueness.

789
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:53,920
In a world where we're told to fit into boxes

790
00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:55,880
and into titles,

791
00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:59,760
we have pinched ourselves off from our uniqueness

792
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:03,880
and really understanding what our gifts are internally.

793
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:06,440
And to accept our quirks.

794
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:11,080
And that's what really brings the you and being yourself

795
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:13,520
and not being the cookie cutter

796
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:15,920
that everybody wants you to be,

797
00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:19,000
that you can actually embrace being you.

798
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:22,280
And that's where I have the empowerment of,

799
00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:27,920
accepting your uniqueness and cultivating that confidence

800
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:31,320
in that despite the winds of the world telling you

801
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:33,080
you should be something different.

802
00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:35,920
My most loyal followers, right?

803
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:36,760
Just kidding.

804
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:37,920
I'm with the people who've heard me

805
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:39,480
on a number of these shows.

806
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:42,640
They know that one of my greatest fears growing up

807
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:45,360
and one of the things I hated the most about myself

808
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:46,440
was my curly hair.

809
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:51,000
And it wasn't until 34, 35,

810
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:53,040
where for the first time in my life,

811
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:55,200
thanks to inspiration by my son,

812
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:57,840
I decided to let it grow.

813
00:35:57,840 --> 00:36:00,480
And it was one of the most painful, challenging

814
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:02,280
and awkward experiences of my life.

815
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:04,000
And I was like, I'm stepping into this.

816
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:06,320
We're going, we're gonna make it happen.

817
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:11,320
And JP Sears is also a phenomenal inspiration

818
00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:13,280
for doing just that.

819
00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:15,400
Yeah, everybody wants you to be the businessman

820
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:16,240
with a short haircut.

821
00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:20,160
Everybody wants the Jackson they've always known.

822
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:23,840
And it's a very bold and fun process.

823
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:25,680
So silly for a lot of people out there.

824
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:26,520
They're like, what?

825
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:27,520
I mean, why does that matter?

826
00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:31,480
But yeah, terrified me, freaking terrified me.

827
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:33,640
So I love helping people get it out

828
00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:36,720
because so many of us are stuck in something

829
00:36:36,720 --> 00:36:39,680
we don't even realize we're a prisoner to ourself in.

830
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:41,520
It's huge.

831
00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:46,160
My name is Natalie, yet I have the nickname Nat-Nat

832
00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:48,240
because my friend's son gave it to me.

833
00:36:48,240 --> 00:36:50,520
Her name is Nat-Natalie also.

834
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:52,840
So he wasn't able to articulate the L's.

835
00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:55,360
So he just said Nat-Nat and we kept it.

836
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:57,360
So when people would say Natalie,

837
00:36:57,360 --> 00:37:00,640
it wouldn't, you know, it would differentiate both of us.

838
00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:04,000
And I kept it with the lift oneself work

839
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:07,680
because you need play to regulate your nervous system.

840
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:10,560
In a world that wants to be serious and stuffy,

841
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:12,160
yeah, you can be productive,

842
00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:14,680
yet is there intention in that productivity?

843
00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:19,160
Is your energy in that creation?

844
00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:22,240
Or are you just doing what you're told to do?

845
00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:26,360
And it's really allowing curiosity to be unleashed in that.

846
00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:28,040
And I wanna thank your son

847
00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:30,480
for allowing you to do that warrior work

848
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:32,320
and for you to look at the mirror

849
00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:34,920
because how I define parenting,

850
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:37,240
it's the highest spiritual practice

851
00:37:37,240 --> 00:37:39,360
you can learn about yourself.

852
00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:41,960
So what you went through was warrior work

853
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:43,760
and we get to benefit from it

854
00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:46,560
because the lightness that you have,

855
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:49,320
the playfulness and that you can just be you

856
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:52,160
without the apprehension of what do they think?

857
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:53,040
Do I look okay?

858
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:53,880
Do I have this?

859
00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:55,760
I can't just eliminate that, right?

860
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:58,680
I go to a family reunion, my uncle sees me come

861
00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:01,600
and he goes, ugly.

862
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:04,480
And my inner child freaked and panicked, you know,

863
00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:05,760
I was like, I was like,

864
00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:08,240
I wanted to crawl right back in and he just cut my hair

865
00:38:08,240 --> 00:38:09,920
and I was like, screw that.

866
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:11,800
I was like, no, it's not happening.

867
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:13,000
I'm gonna sit, I'm gonna go through,

868
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:14,440
I'm gonna be just fine.

869
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:17,280
I was like, he ain't gonna take this away from me.

870
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:19,360
And he wasn't trying to hurt me.

871
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:20,560
He really wasn't.

872
00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:23,520
You know, as much as a hurtful word that is,

873
00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:25,480
that wasn't his intent or goal,

874
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:28,280
but he can't see the inner fragile child.

875
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:30,560
You know, he can't see that he literally just kicked

876
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:33,160
that inner fragile child to the floor.

877
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:36,040
But yes, it has been so empowering to do.

878
00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:39,200
Let's dive into another type of discussion

879
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:42,640
that I believe is usually empowering,

880
00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:46,160
but it can also be something that's very dark.

881
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:49,000
What is the worst leadership experience

882
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:50,040
that you've ever had?

883
00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:53,840
Having to see my past parenting.

884
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:57,200
I think it's the most intimate part

885
00:38:57,200 --> 00:39:01,240
and I have the twins that are 14 right now,

886
00:39:01,240 --> 00:39:03,760
yet my oldest is gonna be 30.

887
00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:05,720
The way I parented my 30 year old

888
00:39:05,720 --> 00:39:10,360
compared to what I parent my 14 year old, very different.

889
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:14,480
So I've had to have radical, like I get teary eyed with this

890
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:18,440
because I have to have radical compassion with myself.

891
00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:21,880
For what I know now and not allow this awareness

892
00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:26,880
to break the awareness of what that person was at the time

893
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:29,520
and understand the trauma,

894
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:33,000
understand that when you don't feel your emotions,

895
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:37,200
you go into protection and not, you know,

896
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:42,200
erasing what happens, accepting and having accountability

897
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:46,560
and atonement, you know, apologizing for my part

898
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:49,680
so that that could repair my oldest son.

899
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:52,200
So he can see that it had nothing to do with you

900
00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:53,640
even though you internalize it,

901
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:56,080
that I must've did something wrong for my moods

902
00:39:56,080 --> 00:39:58,320
or my behaviors or my actions.

903
00:39:58,320 --> 00:40:02,480
And it's like, no, go back as whole, that was my stuff.

904
00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:03,400
It wasn't yours.

905
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:04,680
And you were right in thinking

906
00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:06,960
it was my stuff at the beginning.

907
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:11,880
So really doing that repair and that's warrior work.

908
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:15,080
And that's a real leader of not hiding.

909
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:18,080
And you know, when you're in this space of spirituality

910
00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:21,440
and healing, a lot of people want perfection that,

911
00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:23,680
oh, you haven't done anything and you're just perfect.

912
00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:25,640
And it's like, what?

913
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:27,760
No, the reason why I can speak the way I do

914
00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:30,720
is because I lived a very colorful life

915
00:40:30,720 --> 00:40:32,680
and I'm not hiding from it.

916
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:35,400
And I mean, I'm giving you the Coles notes

917
00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:39,640
that there's things that you can avoid not having to do

918
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:43,040
if you're willing to engage and go into the depth of it.

919
00:40:44,720 --> 00:40:46,600
That may be the best answer we've ever gotten

920
00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:48,280
for this question.

921
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:53,280
That's, that, yeah, yeah, that's a hard one.

922
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:58,280
We don't have enough time to dive into the depths of that

923
00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:00,880
the way that I want to.

924
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:03,720
I hope that all of you that are listening in,

925
00:41:03,720 --> 00:41:06,800
if you feel it's a safe space

926
00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:10,240
and you'd like to reveal something deep and similar,

927
00:41:10,240 --> 00:41:12,720
what is one of your own vulnerabilities out there?

928
00:41:12,720 --> 00:41:16,240
Like what is one of those areas where you made mistakes,

929
00:41:16,240 --> 00:41:20,120
you know, and you wish that, you know,

930
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:23,360
you could learn to overcome those mistakes

931
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:25,560
and embrace as we talked about earlier, right?

932
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:28,760
Integrate it, understand that you're not able to change it

933
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:31,000
and you don't need to live with regret on it,

934
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:33,880
but to be able to recognize what it is.

935
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:37,360
And then from there, start working towards the resolution

936
00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:39,880
because all of us as parents, especially multi-parent,

937
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:42,960
like, you know, you learn as you go

938
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:46,360
and it gets a little bit easier as time goes on

939
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:48,840
to understand how to help.

940
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:53,840
And I'd say the same thing about both of my ex marriages.

941
00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:56,280
I don't think there's so many things

942
00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:59,320
that I can learn from those experiences

943
00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:04,120
if I don't hide by either putting it on them

944
00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:06,320
as it was their fault, you know,

945
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:11,240
or justifying, you know, my own good behaviors.

946
00:42:11,240 --> 00:42:13,520
There's so many opportunities to look at that

947
00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:17,080
and learn and say, ah, if I learn from this,

948
00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:20,000
I will improve my future relationships.

949
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:23,160
So there's a lot of work that can be done there.

950
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:24,880
And just a little point,

951
00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:28,400
so people have some verbiage of what becomes a conflict

952
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:32,080
is that you may have said that you would not be

953
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:35,880
or do certain things as a child and you swore by it,

954
00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:38,440
not recognizing patterns develop.

955
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:40,600
They just look a little different,

956
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:44,960
yet when you unravel them, they're the same thing.

957
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:48,160
So some things that I swore I would never do,

958
00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:50,600
I redid in my parenting.

959
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:54,000
And when you do the work, you see it for what it is.

960
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,200
And that is difficult to integrate

961
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:59,360
because you swore to yourself, you would not do this.

962
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:02,280
You would not let this happen.

963
00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:03,120
And so-

964
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:04,280
I'll give an example on that.

965
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:06,560
Cause sometimes it's hard to see like,

966
00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:07,400
where is that?

967
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:08,640
And tell me if I'm wrong in this example,

968
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:10,720
but I think what you're talking about is I was little.

969
00:43:10,720 --> 00:43:13,400
I became an uncle at the age of nine

970
00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:15,040
and I wanted to be a dad after that.

971
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:16,120
I was like, oh my gosh, I wanna be a dad.

972
00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:17,520
So I start watching dads everywhere

973
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:19,280
cause my dad was out of the picture for the most part.

974
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:20,880
I definitely wanna be like him.

975
00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:22,760
Oh, you know, but I also picked up

976
00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:23,640
some of the good traits there,

977
00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:25,080
but I remember being in church

978
00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:28,760
and seeing a guy like drag his kid out, you know,

979
00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:33,360
like of the congregation because his kid was misbehaving.

980
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:35,560
And I remember thinking like,

981
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:37,280
I don't wanna be like that dad.

982
00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:39,440
Oh, you know, I'm not going to do that to my kids.

983
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:41,240
I remember seeing the other dad, you know,

984
00:43:41,240 --> 00:43:44,280
pick his son up was way more misbehaving, right?

985
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:46,000
Go to the back of the room,

986
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:48,000
set him down gently on his knee.

987
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:49,800
And I can see him like whispering to his son.

988
00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:51,440
I see his son starting to calm down

989
00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:52,800
and they're starting to understand each other.

990
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:54,440
And they're back before, you know,

991
00:43:54,440 --> 00:43:56,720
you can still hear the other kid in the hallway,

992
00:43:56,720 --> 00:43:57,800
you know, like screaming.

993
00:43:57,800 --> 00:44:01,080
And I was like, I wanna be like that dad.

994
00:44:01,080 --> 00:44:03,240
I've been both dads, you know,

995
00:44:03,240 --> 00:44:06,840
it depends on the circumstance and what's going on.

996
00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:08,200
But I remember swearing,

997
00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:10,560
I was never gonna be like the dad who dragged your kid out

998
00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:13,640
and like, sorry kiddos, I've had my moments too.

999
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:15,320
So is that what you're talking about

1000
00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:16,680
with like setting the concession?

1001
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:19,040
Like I'm not going to be that person?

1002
00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:22,320
Yeah, I swore I wasn't going to not be married

1003
00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:24,160
or I actually made a,

1004
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:27,960
I promised myself that I wouldn't be a parent.

1005
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:30,200
I didn't wanna bring children into a world

1006
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:33,560
that felt so dark and that children weren't listened to

1007
00:44:33,560 --> 00:44:34,560
and abused.

1008
00:44:36,080 --> 00:44:37,800
And then I wanted to be a child psychologist

1009
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:39,240
and I didn't go through that realm.

1010
00:44:39,240 --> 00:44:41,000
So has the universe but have it.

1011
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:42,000
Well, you're gonna be a parent

1012
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:45,280
and you're really gonna understand that aspect.

1013
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:48,720
Yet not having men present for my children

1014
00:44:48,720 --> 00:44:51,720
and recreating that experience again,

1015
00:44:51,720 --> 00:44:55,480
because my father was absent was a detriment.

1016
00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:57,680
And also some of the actions that I took

1017
00:44:57,680 --> 00:45:00,280
that I swore I would never do and I did.

1018
00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:03,560
And just to give you another insight,

1019
00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:07,000
like just to open it up because I just dive deep,

1020
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:10,360
the father that you saw gently bring the son

1021
00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:13,040
to the back of the room and whisper something,

1022
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:15,800
you have no idea if he may have whispered fearful things

1023
00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:19,040
into his child and that's why the behavior changed.

1024
00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:22,920
Yet you looked at the mannerism that it looked so gentle.

1025
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:27,120
And these are the things that we just assume certain things,

1026
00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:29,800
but we don't know the depths of what's going on.

1027
00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:34,280
Yet we create what we want it to look and feel like.

1028
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:36,720
So it felt like it was something.

1029
00:45:36,720 --> 00:45:39,840
And yeah, the gentle parenting, it's great.

1030
00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:43,160
Yet when you're in live action, it's not always applicable.

1031
00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:45,340
You're not able to access the resources

1032
00:45:45,340 --> 00:45:47,400
if you haven't felt your emotions.

1033
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:49,720
They're unsorting all the emotions in you

1034
00:45:49,720 --> 00:45:52,080
and you just wanna project and shut down.

1035
00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:55,640
So our children can bring out the nastiness in us

1036
00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:58,120
if we haven't done our inner work.

1037
00:45:58,120 --> 00:46:00,480
And even when you've done your inner work,

1038
00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:03,280
life happens, your capacity is short.

1039
00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:06,560
So that's why it's called radical acceptance

1040
00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:08,200
and accountability.

1041
00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:11,240
Once you recognize that you have gone too far

1042
00:46:11,240 --> 00:46:14,000
into something, take accountability,

1043
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:17,880
have radical compassion for yourself and do the repair.

1044
00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:22,120
Yeah, I love your potential perspective

1045
00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:24,280
on that Father Sherlock Holmes.

1046
00:46:24,280 --> 00:46:26,360
Because that's important aspect, right?

1047
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:28,820
Is to have those comprehensive analysis skills.

1048
00:46:29,800 --> 00:46:31,840
I don't know if I was born with them.

1049
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:33,320
I don't think so.

1050
00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:34,880
Maybe I was born, but I mean,

1051
00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:38,360
I probably due to some survival realities early on,

1052
00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:43,360
I began to assess very clearly and very deeply

1053
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:46,280
a lot of different realities that existed there.

1054
00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:49,600
So for the sake of the sacredness of the story,

1055
00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:54,060
the kid, that child calming down, the smile on his face,

1056
00:46:54,060 --> 00:46:55,200
the demeanor of the father

1057
00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:57,800
and seeing their interactions week after week.

1058
00:46:57,800 --> 00:47:00,200
Right, there's a lot of aspects there.

1059
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:02,400
And you still bring up a great point.

1060
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:05,080
I remember my sister coming home from an event

1061
00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:07,200
and saying, like talking so mad about,

1062
00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:09,160
oh my gosh, the way she looked at me.

1063
00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:12,120
And Bob and I remember going,

1064
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:14,320
how do you know she wasn't about to sneeze?

1065
00:47:16,240 --> 00:47:17,720
Just trying to hold it back.

1066
00:47:17,720 --> 00:47:18,560
How do you know she was even looking at you?

1067
00:47:18,560 --> 00:47:20,080
You were in a crowd of 50 people.

1068
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:21,480
She'd be looking at anybody.

1069
00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:27,540
And that ability to take a step back for good,

1070
00:47:27,540 --> 00:47:31,160
for the good and for the bad and process it

1071
00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:34,360
is such a very powerful wise thing to do.

1072
00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:37,640
What's the best leadership experience that you've ever had?

1073
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:42,040
Admitting my faults as a leader for myself,

1074
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:44,200
again, in the parenting role.

1075
00:47:44,200 --> 00:47:46,860
And any leader that I've seen also

1076
00:47:46,860 --> 00:47:49,520
is acknowledging the mistakes,

1077
00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:51,480
not blaming, not hiding them,

1078
00:47:51,480 --> 00:47:54,040
actually learning from them and bringing them forth

1079
00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:57,800
to show what it looks like to be a leader

1080
00:47:57,800 --> 00:47:59,920
and that we don't just bury things

1081
00:47:59,920 --> 00:48:01,400
and pretend like they didn't happen.

1082
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:04,380
We're gonna use them as learning experiences.

1083
00:48:04,380 --> 00:48:07,760
So that has always struck with me when I first saw it,

1084
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:10,420
you know, as being a young child,

1085
00:48:10,420 --> 00:48:11,960
one of my teachers brought it forth

1086
00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:14,680
and it was like back in the 70s, 80s,

1087
00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:17,000
that wasn't, you didn't see that often.

1088
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:20,720
It was always, we do know wrong and we're perfect.

1089
00:48:20,720 --> 00:48:23,040
You had seen that human side,

1090
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:27,320
that's where it was like, oh, you can be a leader like this.

1091
00:48:27,320 --> 00:48:29,080
And it just developed

1092
00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:31,840
and that has been a significant part of me

1093
00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:35,920
in my most important leadership role as a parent.

1094
00:48:36,960 --> 00:48:40,720
You know, I do lead when I have my clients and everything,

1095
00:48:40,720 --> 00:48:44,820
yet the most important one is with my children.

1096
00:48:44,820 --> 00:48:46,200
Huge.

1097
00:48:46,200 --> 00:48:47,760
Those of you listening in,

1098
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:50,280
it is literally impossible to build

1099
00:48:50,280 --> 00:48:53,940
a championship level culture, a functional team,

1100
00:48:53,940 --> 00:48:57,360
without that process of being vulnerable.

1101
00:48:57,360 --> 00:49:01,120
This right here behind me is an homage to Patrick Lanchoni

1102
00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:03,160
of the five dysfunctions of a team.

1103
00:49:03,160 --> 00:49:06,720
And the base of that pyramid is all about building trust.

1104
00:49:06,720 --> 00:49:08,040
And how do you do that?

1105
00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:09,720
Vulnerability.

1106
00:49:09,720 --> 00:49:12,080
Being able to be vulnerable with people.

1107
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:13,400
And I love that in the book,

1108
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:17,000
he highlights the symptoms of the dysfunctional cultures

1109
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:18,080
and the functional cultures.

1110
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:19,320
It's required reading for everybody

1111
00:49:19,320 --> 00:49:22,840
who comes into our environment of our team,

1112
00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:26,360
because you can't take people who've never been part

1113
00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:28,320
of a championship level culture

1114
00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:31,380
and assume that they are automatically going to know

1115
00:49:31,380 --> 00:49:34,120
what the behaviors are, what the communication is like.

1116
00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:36,360
They have to learn that process.

1117
00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:39,540
So if you want great results, you want great success,

1118
00:49:39,540 --> 00:49:41,960
then consider starting to dive into,

1119
00:49:41,960 --> 00:49:45,320
all right, well, how do you create safe vulnerability

1120
00:49:45,320 --> 00:49:47,120
for those that you wanna work with?

1121
00:49:47,120 --> 00:49:50,740
And we, to double down on your point about family

1122
00:49:50,740 --> 00:49:53,220
and about our children and all of that,

1123
00:49:53,220 --> 00:49:55,280
our rally cry at First Class Business

1124
00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:59,120
is we create a full appreciation for family

1125
00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:03,040
and personal wellbeing within the workplace.

1126
00:50:03,040 --> 00:50:04,960
And if more companies would do that,

1127
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:06,960
where it's like, okay, family's the most important,

1128
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:09,040
but get this done first.

1129
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:10,560
But make sure your kids don't show up.

1130
00:50:10,560 --> 00:50:13,040
But make sure, there are no buts.

1131
00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:16,760
Family, wellbeing, it is the most important period.

1132
00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:18,240
And it should be.

1133
00:50:18,240 --> 00:50:19,880
If this is the last chance,

1134
00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:24,000
now that you had to share a lesson with anybody, this is it.

1135
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:26,040
What powerful lesson can other visionaries learn

1136
00:50:26,040 --> 00:50:27,120
from your experience?

1137
00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:30,780
Learn to be kind to yourself

1138
00:50:30,780 --> 00:50:33,720
and appreciate who you are in this moment

1139
00:50:33,720 --> 00:50:34,800
and grow from there,

1140
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:37,980
not into what you think you ought to be,

1141
00:50:37,980 --> 00:50:39,380
to be in your worth.

1142
00:50:39,380 --> 00:50:41,400
You're worthy right now.

1143
00:50:41,400 --> 00:50:45,860
So that kindness helps to regulate that nervous system

1144
00:50:45,860 --> 00:50:48,080
so that you're not harsh with yourself,

1145
00:50:48,080 --> 00:50:49,480
that there can be an opening.

1146
00:50:49,480 --> 00:50:54,480
That is profoundly deep

1147
00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:58,120
and centered around all things we stand for.

1148
00:50:58,120 --> 00:51:00,360
We are out of time for today.

1149
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:04,240
I don't wanna eat into all the things that you have going on

1150
00:51:04,240 --> 00:51:05,200
in the rest of your life.

1151
00:51:05,200 --> 00:51:07,360
Vision Pro, so as you're listening in,

1152
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:09,120
if you wanna get in touch with Nat-Nat

1153
00:51:09,120 --> 00:51:12,040
and see what it would be like to work with her,

1154
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:13,320
follow her on social media, et cetera,

1155
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:14,920
of course, below this video,

1156
00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:17,680
you will see the action steps so that you can do just that.

1157
00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:21,060
We'll also list all the resources down there as well.

1158
00:51:21,060 --> 00:51:23,840
We invite you to connect with us in the top right corner.

1159
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:26,420
You'll see a button as well that says, be our guest.

1160
00:51:26,420 --> 00:51:28,960
If you wanna come on the show and talk about your vision

1161
00:51:28,960 --> 00:51:31,040
and how you're helping in the world,

1162
00:51:31,040 --> 00:51:33,380
and it could be simply for your family,

1163
00:51:33,380 --> 00:51:35,720
it could be in your local community,

1164
00:51:35,720 --> 00:51:38,160
or I don't know, you could be Richard Branson

1165
00:51:38,160 --> 00:51:39,120
helping the entire world.

1166
00:51:39,120 --> 00:51:41,100
We're happy to have any of you on this stage

1167
00:51:41,100 --> 00:51:42,800
that want to give back

1168
00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:44,560
and wanna help us learn these principles

1169
00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:46,660
that will help us improve our lives.

1170
00:51:46,660 --> 00:51:48,480
And before I wrap up,

1171
00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:50,960
I'm gonna let Nat-Nat have the honors today.

1172
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:53,440
Anything else you wanna share before we shut down?

1173
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:56,080
I just wanna let any listener,

1174
00:51:56,080 --> 00:51:57,920
if there was any kind of tug

1175
00:51:57,920 --> 00:52:00,960
or there was anything that you wanted to ask a question,

1176
00:52:00,960 --> 00:52:02,100
reach out to me.

1177
00:52:02,100 --> 00:52:05,200
I am open to answer any conversations.

1178
00:52:05,200 --> 00:52:08,920
And if there is a tug for healing,

1179
00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:10,700
this is your indication

1180
00:52:10,700 --> 00:52:13,200
that there was an opening in their safety.

1181
00:52:13,200 --> 00:52:16,300
So come see me on my Instagram

1182
00:52:16,300 --> 00:52:19,320
or come to my website, lift oneself.com,

1183
00:52:19,320 --> 00:52:21,640
and let's start this community.

1184
00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:24,720
I truly appreciate that you're here as a listener

1185
00:52:24,720 --> 00:52:28,400
because that means that you really wanna be more intentional

1186
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:31,540
as that leadership and grow that community.

1187
00:52:31,540 --> 00:52:34,080
So again, Jackson, thank you so much

1188
00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:37,120
for what you are creating and cultivating in the world.

1189
00:52:37,120 --> 00:52:40,760
It is so needed and it is so appreciated.

1190
00:52:40,760 --> 00:52:43,600
So those that may not give you your high five

1191
00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:46,040
and your roses and your cigars right now,

1192
00:52:46,040 --> 00:52:49,680
let me be that person to show that appreciation.

1193
00:52:49,680 --> 00:52:52,120
It is greatly appreciated.

1194
00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:53,520
I love it, thank you so much.

1195
00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:55,840
And those of you listening,

1196
00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:59,040
we followed the spirit and the flow of this conversation.

1197
00:52:59,040 --> 00:53:00,680
We did not touch on releasing.

1198
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:03,440
So it's a perfect opportunity to reach out to NatNat

1199
00:53:03,440 --> 00:53:04,840
and bridge that gap and make sure

1200
00:53:04,840 --> 00:53:06,320
that we learn more about it.

1201
00:53:06,320 --> 00:53:08,080
We'll see you on the next episode, bye-bye.

1202
00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:09,440
Thank you for being here today.

1203
00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:11,920
I'm really happy that you tuned in to Vision Pros Live.

1204
00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:14,580
I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions

1205
00:53:14,580 --> 00:53:16,840
as these episodes continue to move forward.

1206
00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:18,560
This is gonna get more and more fun.

1207
00:53:18,560 --> 00:53:20,360
We'll have more and more engagement as well.

1208
00:53:20,360 --> 00:53:22,480
We'll invite people to participate in the show

1209
00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:24,840
and thank you for giving us your time and attention.

1210
00:53:24,840 --> 00:53:27,560
Have an excellent time building out your vision

1211
00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:48,560
and becoming a vision.