This is where we learn about leadership.
Yes, absolutely.
Huge and packed.
Going live?
Like I had no idea how much this would teach me
about leadership, but one of my greatest weaknesses
for those who are close to me know that it is,
I have, I grew up with almost zero diplomacy skills
whatsoever.
And as I stepped into this podcast, you know,
in my thirties, I still had no diplomacy skills, right?
So I had a guest one time called Jen Z out
as the problem of the world.
And as a Papa bear, I wanted to destroy her
for that moment of instinct, like, who are you
and why do you think that you know everything?
And I had to like calm myself down and think, okay,
how do I address this, right?
Without crushing this, because I don't want to crush
the person, but my instinct, you know,
like was going to come out, but when we're live, you know,
we know we've got an audience.
There's a little bit of an extra buffer
that makes your brain stop and your mouth stop and think.
So yes, this is a huge opportunity for leadership.
What, let's start with that.
What leadership skills has podcasting helped you
refine and develop?
To pause before those, you know,
impulsivity of thinking your judgmental
or analytical mind is correct and taking a pause
to actually listen to what the person
was trying to articulate and then regulating my emotions
so that I can come back with a response.
Yet, you know, being live in podcasts, mine aren't live.
They're behind, like they're recorded because the space
that I provide is honesty.
So sometimes people are very transparent and honest,
yet it's not something they want live with people.
So I don't want to, you know, disrupt their healing process
with the gift that I provide.
Yet that leadership of really pausing
and not thinking I know it all.
And that has been a big thing with the impulsivity
because it's instinctual, you want to pounce on something
and it's like, but wait, do I have all the information?
And did I actually listen to the person
that's in front of me?
That's huge.
And that was something that I had some questions about
with relation to the healing work that you do, right?
I saw your framework and I was like, okay,
feeling, processing, integration and releasing.
And I was like, that's fantastic.
This is a great formula.
And then I was reading the rest and it says,
talks about transforming your reactions,
empowering your biology and, you know,
living a life fulfilled, remembering to be kind to yourself.
So there was some elements, it's like, okay,
somebody who's ready to live a fulfilled life
may already be past some of those basic,
I shouldn't say past, but may already have developed
strengths around some of those components,
whereas some people are gonna come out of that framework
for the first time.
But I saw that framework and I was like,
that resonates with so many principles that I've learned.
I was like, I can't wait to dive in deeper with you.
Again, we're gonna cut for a break, but before we do,
and before we talk about the resources,
I feel inspired by you to talk about that framework first.
So do you mind sharing more about that?
In a world where we're told not to feel
and we are distracted by numbing and, you know,
disassociating and blaming, the healing is in feeling
and to feel your authentic emotions.
And when you're gonna feel your authentic emotions,
there are going to be information that's going to come up
that you may not want to integrate in you
because you have a belief or a mask of an identity
that it's gonna conflict with,
where if you're not feeling those emotions,
you're not able to get to your authentic self,
which is really just connecting back into self,
your vulnerability.
So the crux is really having an honest space
to be able to feel and not allow your analytical
and judgment mind stop that charge
because it goes against whatever the identity
you've created for yourself.
And in a world where we're not allowed to make mistakes.
So if we make a mistake, then what is that about our identity?
Yet once you allow yourself to feel through,
that's where you can be a much more authentic leader
that you can allow yourself to be in the human side of it,
not just robotic and mindset and also spiritual by bypassing.
It's really allowing there to be a realness in there
so that change can come from the inside out,
not from trying to make it fit in the outside.
And the basic of that is you have to understand
your nervous system.
If you don't understand your nervous system,
you don't understand your triggers.
You don't understand why when you're dysregulated
or you're in the fight, flight, spawn or freeze.
And you're reaching out for something.
So show me.
I had to go this book because you honored something
that I haven't articulated ever before,
but it's one of my absolute favorite books.
So this book by Michael Gerber, The E-Myth, right?
This book, when you listen to the audio
and you hear the story that he talks about,
you can hear the care, the compassion
and the feeling and what he's teaching.
The book is extremely cerebral.
It's all about procedures, resources and templates
if you're not paying attention to the feeling.
But I've been wondering, and he didn't call it
the entrepreneur myth.
He called it the E-Myth.
And I always speculate that this is about
the emotional intelligence myth, that it's,
but it applies to both.
So it's kind of like that phrase from the Bible,
the I am aspect and trying, you can't really teach somebody
what that means.
That's something that over time you start to discover
the depth and breadth and perspectives.
So you just help me unlock it
because I usually teach people about the logistics
of the E-Myth and you're right, the underlying reality,
the more powerful aspect is, are you showing up,
caring about the people that you're working with,
taking good care of them?
And yes, these resources help with that process,
but the focus is on the people.
Talk to me about processing.
What does that mean to you?
Processing means, again, feeling your authentic emotions,
having the accountability to see your actions,
to see how you're treating yourself
because everything comes from the inside out.
You know, we can all of a sudden scold our children
and then if there's a stranger,
we have the nicest demeanor with them.
And then your children will call you out like,
why were you treating me this way,
but you're all pleasant with this stranger
and putting on a facade.
Yet the more that you can understand everything's coming
from the inside out and those that are very subjective
and close to you, bring out those emotions and temperament.
And if you haven't learned to befriend them,
then you're treating the closest people
probably like garbage and the strangers,
you're presenting this mask of adore me
and see how kind and precious I am.
Yet you're not really living it.
You're not embodying it.
Am I allow my, I have two Padwins,
I don't know if you're a Star Wars fan,
yet the Jedi that I am, the Padwins come
and my twins call me out all the time.
Like you just did this and now you're acting this way.
And it's like, okay, let me be accountable for my emotions
and articulate why I reacted this way.
And then I'm still learning and growing
so that you can learn also in your book, Big Emotions,
what that looks like in the modeling process.
Because the thing with healing, in my experience,
I came to this space 10 years ago,
because I had lesions in my brain
and my brainstem and cerebellum.
So I had a front seat with the nervous system
and seeing all the traumas and all this stuff.
So I had this wisdom intelligence yet to embody it.
Oh my gosh, and in the parenting role,
I can be all calm and joyful in other spaces
in my parenting role, it unnerves all my work.
And I have to have the accountability to wanna face it
and to acknowledge when I've made mistakes,
acknowledge that I'm human,
acknowledge where some of the things that they're doing,
I just don't wanna see about myself
because I was triggered as a child
or I was othered or berated or whatever that is.
Yet again, that's my feeling,
that I have to have the emotions that need to come up
so that they don't trigger me anymore.
That I can pause and articulate and use conversations,
not shut things down because I don't have the tools
to process and feel.
If that makes sense.
Oh, it makes a lot of sense.
It matters for our children,
it matters for our team members,
it matters for our clients,
the ability to step back and process
like you're talking about,
and then the ability to vulnerably share.
It empowers people to feel that sense of compassion for you.
You know, and realize that, okay,
they don't think they're above everybody else.
They're human.
So I got four kiddos and I'm twice divorced.
And I've been single for,
and living by myself for a little more than two years,
I believe, with quite a few stints in between like that.
And so I was explaining to my children
about probably 10 months ago,
I was noticing a pattern with myself
that I don't do well with noise anymore.
I'm used to having a very silent environment.
And so I've almost, I was like, kiddos,
there's something called a hermit.
Have you ever heard of that?
And they're like, what?
I was like, well, it's somebody who lives alone,
and they kind of like are away from the world.
And I was like,
I kind of have those tendencies developing within me.
And so I get triggered by noise sometimes,
and I'm not mad at you.
I'm just out of my environment,
and it kind of freaks me out.
And so we were walking on this path,
and I said, here's what I want you all to do with me.
Obviously I was really stressed
that I wouldn't have been talking to them about this.
I was like, I was really feeling it.
And we're walking on the same path that on a routine basis,
this is where I go for my tranquility,
and it ain't happening with three kids, my three oldest.
And so I said, let's play, we're gonna play a game,
we're gonna try this.
I said, I want everybody to walk as ninja as possible,
no scuffs to the shoes, nothing, for 10 whole seconds,
and just listen to what do you hear.
Right, and so it took us three tries, right?
Which I was buying myself 40 seconds of silence.
And so we go through this experience,
and then afterwards, I said, what did you hear?
We're all calm, everybody picks up.
Somebody says the cars, somebody says the birds,
somebody said something else, and the wind.
And I was like, thank you.
I was like, that's what I'm used to focusing on
when you guys aren't here.
And sometimes it's disruptive.
So anyway, that process of talking to,
whether it's our kids or our team or our clients,
all the people around us and sharing that,
it's an important constant reminder
because we can get so caught up
in everything that's going on.
So then you've got integration, how does that work?
Integrate is accepting yourself,
dropping the mask that you think you need to be
and actually accepting the whole of you with a W.
And I love just to go back to what you said,
you actually supported your needs without trying to,
you went about it in a way that you had to go,
but you didn't blame them.
You found a game to show what your needs were.
And I have a story to go on the opposite of that
because like I said, I almost died almost 11 years ago now.
So the twins were four and I learned meditation
when they were five and I'm a solo parent.
So when you learn meditation,
they tell you to create a nice, soft, quiet spot.
You got two kids.
Yeah, I was like, that's not happening.
So I had to take meditation on the couch.
And as you know, when you're meditating,
you wanna try to control the environment.
Yet what I learned is to regulate my nervous system
that it doesn't need to control.
Exactly.
And that it's not being stolen.
I don't agree with the one to control the environment.
It's like, I only control what I can control.
And our children are so magnetic to our nervous system
to unearth the places that we don't wanna do the work right
now.
Well, of course.
I had the same thing the other day.
Like I took meditation on the couch so I could see
when they were fighting how it wanted to like stop
the bench or stop.
And it was like, come back to the breath, come back.
So I did that warrior work.
So I understand that space.
And the other day they've been back at school.
So the house is quiet.
Saturday came, I wanted to be productive,
do some editing, do some voiceovers and some stuff.
One's in the bathroom with his kick talk loud.
The other one's screaming on his PlayStation.
And inside me, it started bubbling.
I just wanted it quiet.
I wanted it quiet.
I want it quiet.
Yet it was like, I was gonna start barking.
This is my house.
And it was like, breathe through it.
Breathe and let yourself go through.
And I said like high five Nat,
cause you know, maybe two years ago,
you would have started yelling at them
and telling them to quiet down
cause you thought you superseded the environment
rather than feeling and seeing that,
you know what, you're sharing space with other humans.
So articulate if you really needed the silence,
they would have respected that.
Yet it's also their day off.
Like it's everybody's day off.
So take your day off too of wanting to be productive
and whatnot.
So thank you for, you know, really articulating
and showing the listeners like to be a leader.
You also have to explain your needs.
Yet that process is feeling.
And like I just explained the integration
of accepting yourself and accepting where your triggers
may be wanting to stop what the environment is.
Yet in that stopping, you may be humiliated
by the actions you've taken because it goes against
what you're trying to show up as.
So really taking that moment of acceptance
and really understanding yourself,
understanding the triggers,
understanding the messiness also.
Exactly.
The ability to live in that present, in that moment, right?
And keep that presence alive is so, there's the,
I learned in a book called
Feelings Buried Alive Never Die,
that namaste and aloha mean the same thing.
And they both mean my soul honors your soul,
which is also interpreted as
I am actually perfect the way I am.
You are perfect the way you are.
And change is perfect.
And that you can also be the environment, right?
So whether it's Man's Search for Happiness
and the guy living in the prison
and being able to create his holistic reality,
like those elements are so important.
And before we go into the releasing side of things,
and talking about the release of it,
you talked about acceptance of the faults too,
and like embracing that reality, like the whole,
like it's not just the good side,
as much as it is everything.
And to be able to do that
and removing that sense of judgment
while appreciating change,
it's a really interesting recipe for people to say,
like, how does that work?
You know, how does that work for me?
It's, you're gonna, those you listen in, right?
That's for you to figure out and see what,
how that works for you.
And if it's, you know, I think if you're stressed
and anxious, oh, that's, that's what I think I wanna say.
People who see them might hear like,
oh, well, Jackson sounds like a perfect parent.
Like, I don't have the opportunity
to parent my kids full-time, right?
So on one side, like, I hold a very sacred space
for marriage and for the unions that have been able
to fight the tough times,
because they are tough,
and who are able to make it through the challenges
of co-parenting and trying to love each other
in spite of your difficulties and differences.
I only get to parent every other weekend.
And then during the summer, I have two weeks on,
two weeks off.
And so the two weeks that are on,
oh, I have my, my struggles for sure.
Oh, I get it, it is a much harder process.
So the parents who are in it day in and day out,
you have a bigger battle.
When my kids were young,
one of the things I'm so grateful that came to my mind
was I began to realize I have this like fear
or anger of loud noises.
And so I bought a little file that hung on my key chain,
and I bought a bunch of earplugs.
And so I would literally put the earplugs in
when we were in the car with the kids,
or when I was gonna be around the kids for a long time,
I could still hear everything,
because I've got like super hearing,
but it would calm the noise so that I wouldn't react
when the frequencies or the vibes were just so crushing
for me that I like lose myself.
So there are lots of things that we can do.
Earplugs is the thing that saved my life.
That's a lifesaver, I tell you.
Once you start having more self-awareness
and you're more present,
your sensitivity is heightened even more.
And the things that wanna come up,
wanna come up yet you're still pushing it down.
Like for me, I'm an only child.
So when the twins were having,
and they still have sibling rivalry,
I couldn't comprehend this,
because I wanna be Kumbaya,
everybody's in a joyful state,
you should be thankful you have a sibling.
And it's like, but logically I knew as twins,
they're fighting for my attention
and fighting for I'm the better person
and fighting for their identity.
Yet internally, I was going bonkers with that.
Like them fighting and wanting to interfere,
and what happens when you interfere,
you get hit in the face.
And even one of the twins, one time I was like,
I don't understand your relationship.
And he looked at me and he's like,
why do you need to understand it?
It's not you, it's between me and him.
It has nothing to do with you.
And that was like, I don't wanna hear that.
Yet it's logically true.
You embody that?
I think I need to separate the villain and the victim.
Because our nervous system goes by feeling.
It doesn't know past, present or future.
So I have some emotionally charged painful experience
from my childhood that when these sensations come up
in my direct experience, it comes up in these feelings.
And it's like, oh, wait a minute.
This is how, and it's like, wait a minute.
This is where the integration of what happened before
isn't happening now.
What is the stuff that's coming up inside you
that's distorting what you are experiencing
in the present moment with these children?
And that takes a lot of practice
because it's going to enheighten
and it's not to berate your sensitivity.
It's to support it.
So yeah, those earplugs and they have,
even those in silent earplugs now that take out the,
because the frequency-
Voice cancellation.
Yeah, the frequencies can be so overwhelming
that I'm hearing everything and I'm feeling everything
from people's emotions.
So when I'm in public settings,
there's sometimes I'm just silent
because I'm reading so much that it's overwhelming me.
And it's like, I don't want to go outside of myself.
It's like, be present with you
so that you aren't trying to fix other people
and trying to listen to other people.
You're listening to the guidance within yourself,
yet also supporting yourself.
Because when we were younger,
we were told a lot of things that we experienced in life
was an inconvenience.
Yet now as an adult, you want to support those needs
and you want to be able to articulate
and communicate what your needs are
while still sharing space with others.
And that is the work of a leadership.
Not just berating and telling people
how the environment needs to be,
it's how can I blossom in this environment
and support my needs so that I'm not projecting
or shutting down.
It's amazing.
I love how you said that the leadership
is sharing the space too with the others.
It's so, that's such great wisdom.
So the last one, releasing, we're gonna wait.
We'll come back to releasing.
So for now, what are the three resources
that you recommend for other visionary leaders
who are on the same path
or they're building something that truly matters to them?
What's really helped you get to where you are?
The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer.
He is very direct with the nervous system
and releasing and really letting go of the meaning
the mind wants to make on everything
because that's what makes us trip up on a lot of things
and not being able to be present.
I love Dr. Shafali.
She helped me to untether a lot of things
within my parenting role,
which then really shows you your inner child
and your inner work.
So anything with Dr. Shafali,
you don't have to be a parent to really understand her work,
but that's the way she presents it.
And also Eckhart Tolle helped me to enter the space
of the now and really just be present with, again,
releasing that analytical meaning mind
so that you can be in the self.
And those were the three people
that I recommend to everybody.
There are other resources that I have used,
yet those ones created in such a simple term
that it's not easy to apply,
yet if you do apply it, you will see the benefits of it.
I am so, so grateful that I am not in a spelling bee today
and that Google is on my side.
Those are great resources.
We will pull them out.
We'll be right back after the break
and we'll dive into Nat and that's vision.
All right, welcome in to Vision Pros Live.
With Jackson Callum, I'm your show host.
We'll be doing interviews for visionary entrepreneurs
and guest leaders who are building
fantastic visions out there.
["Vision Pros Live"]
Hey, what's up everybody?
Welcome into another episode of Vision Pros Live.
I'm your show host, Jackson Callum,
founder and CEO of First Class Business.
And I've got Nat-Nat Bidart with me today.
She is a healing expert and we're gonna be talking
about transforming your reactions.
In fact, if you're just joining us,
you're definitely gonna wanna go back
and see what we talked about earlier
because we already laid out three of the four components
of a fantastic framework for making sure
that we're getting the most out of ourselves
in order to get the most out of our lives.
So we'll bring her right back on.
First, I'm gonna go over a couple of resources
that can be very helpful for each of you as visionaries.
The first one is Brain Glue by James Bond.
I've now came to him with the title of
He's Got a License to Feel.
And he helps people tap into their feelings
when it comes to marketing.
This book by Jack Canfield sold 130 million copies
of Chicken Soup for the Soul.
He's very good at what he does.
And Jack said, you would be an idiot as an entrepreneur
not to buy James's book.
That's how powerful this was.
He's also mad that he didn't come up with the concept himself.
I would go to Amazon, listen to the little audio clip.
It will probably make you laugh out loud.
The story he tells about learning how to move
from logical marketing to move into emotions.
It's a fun book.
And he reminds me a little bit
of the late and great Robin Williams.
If you ever get the chance to meet and talk to James Bond,
it's an absolute pleasure.
Then there's another tool that just came across our Raider
and it's called Ticker.
Now I'm gonna tell you right now,
I am not a financial advisor.
That is not my strength.
But when Sean Tepper came on the show the other day
and presented himself as a leader,
not only did he build this software in the SaaS program
to be able to help beginners learn how to invest
in the stock market,
I don't worry too much about SaaS platforms
because there's so many coming out.
I look at what is the quality of the leader
that is behind the SaaS platform and the team.
And I was ultra impressed with what he's up to.
And so I highly recommend if you're in the stock space
and you like to look at trading
or you like to look at investing,
he doesn't condemn the trader route,
but he does point out a really valuable
and important statistic
that there are no billionaires who day trade.
There are lots of billionaires
who understand how to invest long-term.
So this is not a get rich quick platform.
This is about helping people understand
how the process works and giving you the data
and the science and the algorithms behind it
to recognize what stocks may or may not be for you.
Again, for me, not necessarily my thing,
but what is my thing are phenomenal leaders like Kim
and making sure those phenomenal leaders
continue to lead the world
because that's how you know
if something's really gonna stand the test of time or not
is do they have great leadership.
Then there's the water project.
We are not affiliated in any way, shape or form
with the water project.
But when I found out that there's millions of people
who don't have access to clean drinking water,
I began to internalize what it would be like.
And I've never been without water.
I've never really been truly thirsty.
So this was something I had to then choose to step into.
And it wasn't hard when I saw that these kids
celebrate water like my kids celebrate Christmas day.
And when they don't have it, it was disturbing to me
like, golly, that's the stuff they have to drink.
So it is certainly an emotionally triggering reality,
but emotional triggers can lead us
to some of the greatest transformations in our own lives.
My hope is that you will take this opportunity
to look and see what are these communities going through?
How can you help?
If you can give five or $20,
they will give you an update
that that project actually came to fruition.
How cool is that?
And in addition, if you're in a position
where financially you just can't help right now,
my hope is that you meditate just for one minute
on who you might be able to share this with
because you never know if that person
will be able to donate 100,000
or tag somebody else in that process who can get involved.
We can change the world if we work together on this.
We've got 8 billion people to help in the world.
So if there's a cause out there and you're like,
Jackson, I wish you would talk about this cause instead,
drop the cause in the comments.
It's not a matter of like,
yours is better than mine, et cetera.
It's a matter of getting us exposure.
We might talk about the cause that you put on our radar
on the show next, or also even contribute to it ourselves.
Let's just dive in and help though.
Without further ado, Nat-Nat Bedard,
welcome back to Vision Pros Live.
Thank you so much for having me here.
I really appreciate what you were doing with the platform
and how intentional you are
with what you wanna bring out in the world
and what you're creating.
So thank you, Jackson, for that intention
that you're growing and you're growing a community
which is needed in the world.
Huge, thank you.
Talk to me about that.
What elements of intention really inspired you about this?
Cause visionaries listening in right now,
one of the things I'm doing is what Michael Gerber talks
about in that book, the E-Myth,
and Gina Wickman talks about rocket fuel.
And that is making sure that you meet
with people one-on-one and you find out
why do they wanna be involved?
What do they see?
What are their feelings?
What are they like?
What are they don't like?
That ability to just kind of get with the one person
and figure that out, even if we are live.
I'm gonna do the same thing behind the scenes, by the way.
And ask what else can we do better?
What did you love about this?
So this is awesome that you bring this up.
Tell me about that.
What intentionality really draws your attention?
I think it's really because I see people,
that's been my gift, that I see the sincerity
and I see where their interests are.
And also I'm seeing how they're feeling in their emotions.
What are they allowing to be transparent in there?
And also seeing, okay, well, what matters to them?
Like, is it only money that matters to them?
Is it only the numbers?
Is it only the quantity?
Or are they wanting to build community?
Like whatever you choose,
that's the story that you wanna choose.
And that's fine.
It's who do I wanna align with?
And I think more and more, when you are intentional,
you draw people that are intentional around you.
The ones that aren't,
they cannot handle the light that you have.
And they cannot show up with their mask
because they just get melted away in it.
And then it also imparts to them,
maybe there is a change I can get into.
Maybe I'm going too superficial
and there's more depth that I can go into life.
So it's really being able to listen to people.
I think where we like to talk a lot,
it's like, no, you have to step back and listen
because that's the fault of a lot of people.
They trust in the words, they're not looking at the actions.
And actions takes time.
I could tell you all kinds of stuff right now, Jackson,
that I'm doing this and that and blah, blah, blah.
Yet then when you start to see me, it's like,
oh, that's not really matching up
of what you're presenting to people.
Yet you can feel it in our discussion right now
where I'm revealing some things where it's like, oh no.
And I can see it and feel it
in the way that you're revealing things that it's like,
no, this is an intentional life
and that it's going in more depth of this.
It's not just in the superficial that we're led as a child
to be very superficial, to get that career,
to get those numbers, to get that money, to get the power.
Yeah.
It's also very much survival instinct.
Those of you listening who are like eating this up,
come and join us.
I mean, like I gotta say that right now,
like come in and join this process
because you don't always have environments
around you like that.
And like for instance, I cannot be vulnerable
with the world, like the entire world and say,
hey guys, I'm going on vacation.
I'm gonna leave my front door unlocked.
And by the way, I have a stack of cash
that's sitting in my closet on the shelf.
If you can't do that, there's a healthy space
that has to be created in order for vulnerability
to be respected and to not be damaged.
Yet as you talk about,
we kind of learn to hide all vulnerabilities.
So to power down on your stick,
you'd inspired a really big thought on Sunday.
I shared with a friend at church.
I showed him something that I, a message I had received
and he looks at me like,
I said, just pray for me, man.
And so he put his arm around me and I was like, I got you.
And he invited me over that night.
So we're gonna play this game with the family.
And before we start playing the game,
he's just talking about his father
and his father passing away when he was 14.
And I'm just listening,
you know how this goes, that and that, right?
We're just diving, I'm just diving fully in.
He's not really anticipating that.
And you can tell because he's starting to get
a little bit teary-eyed,
maybe it might be that case, right?
And I see the breath come and I'm like,
okay, that's definitely it.
And he is kind of like on the cusp of shutting the door
on it, but he's also kind of continuing the conversation
and just do a few very gentle questions,
to allow him to go.
And then next thing you know, he's like,
I didn't mean to, he's like, I'm not,
I'm not like meaning to go down.
I was like, it's okay to cry.
I was like, it's good.
And then he let the tears flow
for a little bit, you know,
and allowed himself to share an incredibly deep
and wonderful story with me,
an experience about his father.
And then I was able to reciprocate.
And part of it was perhaps a challenge
of accepting his father's role in his life.
And as he came to understand that
my story was equally interesting,
he then began to be able to foster, cultivate,
and kind of appreciate some of what he went through
with his dad.
It was just a really good healing moment, right?
For us to be able to meet on that.
And that type of, and we all have access to these powers,
but we start with one pushup, right?
And we build as we continue to grow.
So visionaries keep doing that.
Nat-Nat, you have extreme superpowers in this regard.
What is your vision for the people that you serve?
I wanna empower them to embrace their uniqueness.
In a world where we're told to fit into boxes
and into titles,
we have pinched ourselves off from our uniqueness
and really understanding what our gifts are internally.
And to accept our quirks.
And that's what really brings the you and being yourself
and not being the cookie cutter
that everybody wants you to be,
that you can actually embrace being you.
And that's where I have the empowerment of,
accepting your uniqueness and cultivating that confidence
in that despite the winds of the world telling you
you should be something different.
My most loyal followers, right?
Just kidding.
I'm with the people who've heard me
on a number of these shows.
They know that one of my greatest fears growing up
and one of the things I hated the most about myself
was my curly hair.
And it wasn't until 34, 35,
where for the first time in my life,
thanks to inspiration by my son,
I decided to let it grow.
And it was one of the most painful, challenging
and awkward experiences of my life.
And I was like, I'm stepping into this.
We're going, we're gonna make it happen.
And JP Sears is also a phenomenal inspiration
for doing just that.
Yeah, everybody wants you to be the businessman
with a short haircut.
Everybody wants the Jackson they've always known.
And it's a very bold and fun process.
So silly for a lot of people out there.
They're like, what?
I mean, why does that matter?
But yeah, terrified me, freaking terrified me.
So I love helping people get it out
because so many of us are stuck in something
we don't even realize we're a prisoner to ourself in.
It's huge.
My name is Natalie, yet I have the nickname Nat-Nat
because my friend's son gave it to me.
Her name is Nat-Natalie also.
So he wasn't able to articulate the L's.
So he just said Nat-Nat and we kept it.
So when people would say Natalie,
it wouldn't, you know, it would differentiate both of us.
And I kept it with the lift oneself work
because you need play to regulate your nervous system.
In a world that wants to be serious and stuffy,
yeah, you can be productive,
yet is there intention in that productivity?
Is your energy in that creation?
Or are you just doing what you're told to do?
And it's really allowing curiosity to be unleashed in that.
And I wanna thank your son
for allowing you to do that warrior work
and for you to look at the mirror
because how I define parenting,
it's the highest spiritual practice
you can learn about yourself.
So what you went through was warrior work
and we get to benefit from it
because the lightness that you have,
the playfulness and that you can just be you
without the apprehension of what do they think?
Do I look okay?
Do I have this?
I can't just eliminate that, right?
I go to a family reunion, my uncle sees me come
and he goes, ugly.
And my inner child freaked and panicked, you know,
I was like, I was like,
I wanted to crawl right back in and he just cut my hair
and I was like, screw that.
I was like, no, it's not happening.
I'm gonna sit, I'm gonna go through,
I'm gonna be just fine.
I was like, he ain't gonna take this away from me.
And he wasn't trying to hurt me.
He really wasn't.
You know, as much as a hurtful word that is,
that wasn't his intent or goal,
but he can't see the inner fragile child.
You know, he can't see that he literally just kicked
that inner fragile child to the floor.
But yes, it has been so empowering to do.
Let's dive into another type of discussion
that I believe is usually empowering,
but it can also be something that's very dark.
What is the worst leadership experience
that you've ever had?
Having to see my past parenting.
I think it's the most intimate part
and I have the twins that are 14 right now,
yet my oldest is gonna be 30.
The way I parented my 30 year old
compared to what I parent my 14 year old, very different.
So I've had to have radical, like I get teary eyed with this
because I have to have radical compassion with myself.
For what I know now and not allow this awareness
to break the awareness of what that person was at the time
and understand the trauma,
understand that when you don't feel your emotions,
you go into protection and not, you know,
erasing what happens, accepting and having accountability
and atonement, you know, apologizing for my part
so that that could repair my oldest son.
So he can see that it had nothing to do with you
even though you internalize it,
that I must've did something wrong for my moods
or my behaviors or my actions.
And it's like, no, go back as whole, that was my stuff.
It wasn't yours.
And you were right in thinking
it was my stuff at the beginning.
So really doing that repair and that's warrior work.
And that's a real leader of not hiding.
And you know, when you're in this space of spirituality
and healing, a lot of people want perfection that,
oh, you haven't done anything and you're just perfect.
And it's like, what?
No, the reason why I can speak the way I do
is because I lived a very colorful life
and I'm not hiding from it.
And I mean, I'm giving you the Coles notes
that there's things that you can avoid not having to do
if you're willing to engage and go into the depth of it.
That may be the best answer we've ever gotten
for this question.
That's, that, yeah, yeah, that's a hard one.
We don't have enough time to dive into the depths of that
the way that I want to.
I hope that all of you that are listening in,
if you feel it's a safe space
and you'd like to reveal something deep and similar,
what is one of your own vulnerabilities out there?
Like what is one of those areas where you made mistakes,
you know, and you wish that, you know,
you could learn to overcome those mistakes
and embrace as we talked about earlier, right?
Integrate it, understand that you're not able to change it
and you don't need to live with regret on it,
but to be able to recognize what it is.
And then from there, start working towards the resolution
because all of us as parents, especially multi-parent,
like, you know, you learn as you go
and it gets a little bit easier as time goes on
to understand how to help.
And I'd say the same thing about both of my ex marriages.
I don't think there's so many things
that I can learn from those experiences
if I don't hide by either putting it on them
as it was their fault, you know,
or justifying, you know, my own good behaviors.
There's so many opportunities to look at that
and learn and say, ah, if I learn from this,
I will improve my future relationships.
So there's a lot of work that can be done there.
And just a little point,
so people have some verbiage of what becomes a conflict
is that you may have said that you would not be
or do certain things as a child and you swore by it,
not recognizing patterns develop.
They just look a little different,
yet when you unravel them, they're the same thing.
So some things that I swore I would never do,
I redid in my parenting.
And when you do the work, you see it for what it is.
And that is difficult to integrate
because you swore to yourself, you would not do this.
You would not let this happen.
And so-
I'll give an example on that.
Cause sometimes it's hard to see like,
where is that?
And tell me if I'm wrong in this example,
but I think what you're talking about is I was little.
I became an uncle at the age of nine
and I wanted to be a dad after that.
I was like, oh my gosh, I wanna be a dad.
So I start watching dads everywhere
cause my dad was out of the picture for the most part.
I definitely wanna be like him.
Oh, you know, but I also picked up
some of the good traits there,
but I remember being in church
and seeing a guy like drag his kid out, you know,
like of the congregation because his kid was misbehaving.
And I remember thinking like,
I don't wanna be like that dad.
Oh, you know, I'm not going to do that to my kids.
I remember seeing the other dad, you know,
pick his son up was way more misbehaving, right?
Go to the back of the room,
set him down gently on his knee.
And I can see him like whispering to his son.
I see his son starting to calm down
and they're starting to understand each other.
And they're back before, you know,
you can still hear the other kid in the hallway,
you know, like screaming.
And I was like, I wanna be like that dad.
I've been both dads, you know,
it depends on the circumstance and what's going on.
But I remember swearing,
I was never gonna be like the dad who dragged your kid out
and like, sorry kiddos, I've had my moments too.
So is that what you're talking about
with like setting the concession?
Like I'm not going to be that person?
Yeah, I swore I wasn't going to not be married
or I actually made a,
I promised myself that I wouldn't be a parent.
I didn't wanna bring children into a world
that felt so dark and that children weren't listened to
and abused.
And then I wanted to be a child psychologist
and I didn't go through that realm.
So has the universe but have it.
Well, you're gonna be a parent
and you're really gonna understand that aspect.
Yet not having men present for my children
and recreating that experience again,
because my father was absent was a detriment.
And also some of the actions that I took
that I swore I would never do and I did.
And just to give you another insight,
like just to open it up because I just dive deep,
the father that you saw gently bring the son
to the back of the room and whisper something,
you have no idea if he may have whispered fearful things
into his child and that's why the behavior changed.
Yet you looked at the mannerism that it looked so gentle.
And these are the things that we just assume certain things,
but we don't know the depths of what's going on.
Yet we create what we want it to look and feel like.
So it felt like it was something.
And yeah, the gentle parenting, it's great.
Yet when you're in live action, it's not always applicable.
You're not able to access the resources
if you haven't felt your emotions.
They're unsorting all the emotions in you
and you just wanna project and shut down.
So our children can bring out the nastiness in us
if we haven't done our inner work.
And even when you've done your inner work,
life happens, your capacity is short.
So that's why it's called radical acceptance
and accountability.
Once you recognize that you have gone too far
into something, take accountability,
have radical compassion for yourself and do the repair.
Yeah, I love your potential perspective
on that Father Sherlock Holmes.
Because that's important aspect, right?
Is to have those comprehensive analysis skills.
I don't know if I was born with them.
I don't think so.
Maybe I was born, but I mean,
I probably due to some survival realities early on,
I began to assess very clearly and very deeply
a lot of different realities that existed there.
So for the sake of the sacredness of the story,
the kid, that child calming down, the smile on his face,
the demeanor of the father
and seeing their interactions week after week.
Right, there's a lot of aspects there.
And you still bring up a great point.
I remember my sister coming home from an event
and saying, like talking so mad about,
oh my gosh, the way she looked at me.
And Bob and I remember going,
how do you know she wasn't about to sneeze?
Just trying to hold it back.
How do you know she was even looking at you?
You were in a crowd of 50 people.
She'd be looking at anybody.
And that ability to take a step back for good,
for the good and for the bad and process it
is such a very powerful wise thing to do.
What's the best leadership experience that you've ever had?
Admitting my faults as a leader for myself,
again, in the parenting role.
And any leader that I've seen also
is acknowledging the mistakes,
not blaming, not hiding them,
actually learning from them and bringing them forth
to show what it looks like to be a leader
and that we don't just bury things
and pretend like they didn't happen.
We're gonna use them as learning experiences.
So that has always struck with me when I first saw it,
you know, as being a young child,
one of my teachers brought it forth
and it was like back in the 70s, 80s,
that wasn't, you didn't see that often.
It was always, we do know wrong and we're perfect.
You had seen that human side,
that's where it was like, oh, you can be a leader like this.
And it just developed
and that has been a significant part of me
in my most important leadership role as a parent.
You know, I do lead when I have my clients and everything,
yet the most important one is with my children.
Huge.
Those of you listening in,
it is literally impossible to build
a championship level culture, a functional team,
without that process of being vulnerable.
This right here behind me is an homage to Patrick Lanchoni
of the five dysfunctions of a team.
And the base of that pyramid is all about building trust.
And how do you do that?
Vulnerability.
Being able to be vulnerable with people.
And I love that in the book,
he highlights the symptoms of the dysfunctional cultures
and the functional cultures.
It's required reading for everybody
who comes into our environment of our team,
because you can't take people who've never been part
of a championship level culture
and assume that they are automatically going to know
what the behaviors are, what the communication is like.
They have to learn that process.
So if you want great results, you want great success,
then consider starting to dive into,
all right, well, how do you create safe vulnerability
for those that you wanna work with?
And we, to double down on your point about family
and about our children and all of that,
our rally cry at First Class Business
is we create a full appreciation for family
and personal wellbeing within the workplace.
And if more companies would do that,
where it's like, okay, family's the most important,
but get this done first.
But make sure your kids don't show up.
But make sure, there are no buts.
Family, wellbeing, it is the most important period.
And it should be.
If this is the last chance,
now that you had to share a lesson with anybody, this is it.
What powerful lesson can other visionaries learn
from your experience?
Learn to be kind to yourself
and appreciate who you are in this moment
and grow from there,
not into what you think you ought to be,
to be in your worth.
You're worthy right now.
So that kindness helps to regulate that nervous system
so that you're not harsh with yourself,
that there can be an opening.
That is profoundly deep
and centered around all things we stand for.
We are out of time for today.
I don't wanna eat into all the things that you have going on
in the rest of your life.
Vision Pro, so as you're listening in,
if you wanna get in touch with Nat-Nat
and see what it would be like to work with her,
follow her on social media, et cetera,
of course, below this video,
you will see the action steps so that you can do just that.
We'll also list all the resources down there as well.
We invite you to connect with us in the top right corner.
You'll see a button as well that says, be our guest.
If you wanna come on the show and talk about your vision
and how you're helping in the world,
and it could be simply for your family,
it could be in your local community,
or I don't know, you could be Richard Branson
helping the entire world.
We're happy to have any of you on this stage
that want to give back
and wanna help us learn these principles
that will help us improve our lives.
And before I wrap up,
I'm gonna let Nat-Nat have the honors today.
Anything else you wanna share before we shut down?
I just wanna let any listener,
if there was any kind of tug
or there was anything that you wanted to ask a question,
reach out to me.
I am open to answer any conversations.
And if there is a tug for healing,
this is your indication
that there was an opening in their safety.
So come see me on my Instagram
or come to my website, lift oneself.com,
and let's start this community.
I truly appreciate that you're here as a listener
because that means that you really wanna be more intentional
as that leadership and grow that community.
So again, Jackson, thank you so much
for what you are creating and cultivating in the world.
It is so needed and it is so appreciated.
So those that may not give you your high five
and your roses and your cigars right now,
let me be that person to show that appreciation.
It is greatly appreciated.
I love it, thank you so much.
And those of you listening,
we followed the spirit and the flow of this conversation.
We did not touch on releasing.
So it's a perfect opportunity to reach out to NatNat
and bridge that gap and make sure
that we learn more about it.
We'll see you on the next episode, bye-bye.
Thank you for being here today.
I'm really happy that you tuned in to Vision Pros Live.
I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions
as these episodes continue to move forward.
This is gonna get more and more fun.
We'll have more and more engagement as well.
We'll invite people to participate in the show
and thank you for giving us your time and attention.
Have an excellent time building out your vision
and becoming a vision.