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My wife and I grew up in San Diego.

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Oh, born and raised in San Diego.

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And then we lived in Santa Cruz for about 10 years in the nineties.

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And, uh, just have been here ever since.

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Okay.

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You know, we're, where's next?

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Cause it sounds like you're, you're looking at

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Yeah.

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I not yet.

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You know, we always say, well, about Costa Rica or what about older Colorado?

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You know, first we have a list that we haven't really decided yet.

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That's cool.

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I would like to do actually just a little bit here, looking like three or

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four months here, three or four months there and just, it's not really vacation.

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You get to know the place you get to know cafes and restaurants and the people

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and the hikes and the nature outside of town.

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But, um, uh, then you get to go explore somewhere else.

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It's like the, um, the Florida snowbirds.

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Yeah.

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I see people who do just that half the year, one place half the year.

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That's the problem because, you know, a beautiful place like Florida

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and January and February, just like Phoenix, Phoenix is amazing in January

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and February, 70 degrees.

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That's like, it's been a hundred days of over a hundred degrees in

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Phoenix, it's like, can't have three months at 110 degrees.

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So, um, there's always something, always something.

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Oh yeah, absolutely.

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Life changes, lots of opportunities there.

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I live in Texas, so we have those extreme weathers, uh, new brothels.

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It's right in between San Antonio and Austin.

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Oh, okay.

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Yeah.

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Got a lot of, a lot of merryweathers in San Antonio and Dallas and, um,

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Fort Worth and all that.

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Okay.

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Very good.

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Well, today we're going to be talking about, um, putting anxiety

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and leadership to the test.

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Um, we got Craig Merriweather on here, clinical hypnotherapist, um, you know,

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and, um, one of his, one of his unique, um, abilities is to help individuals

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pass their tests, um, you know, and overcome the anxiety associated with that.

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So we'll be talking about that too, but before we dive in into those subjects,

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um, and, and I also want to give one more caveat, Vision Pros.

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Um, we're all tested in life.

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There's lots of different tests that we have to pass, um, whether it's

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in front of a boardroom or it's, uh, talking to your boss or it's a school test.

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Maybe you have a child who's going through, uh, opportunities for testing.

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There's, there's so many different applications for the realities of how

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anxiety can, uh, get in the way, um, you know, or prevent us from being

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able to do what we need to do.

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So we'll be collaborating about that later in the show before we do again.

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Craig, what are three resources that you recommend for other entrepreneurs or

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visionaries on their journey?

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Cause you've been, you know, you've been building businesses for a while now.

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Right.

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Well, my, my main resources, I know, uh, probably people talk about, uh,

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this book or that book.

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I think a lot of people have the books they need to read.

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I certainly have a stack of six or seven on my bedside that's been

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sitting there for about a year.

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And so when I was thinking about this, the resources, really what, uh, I

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wanted to offer to people is ways of getting themselves in state for their day.

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And that's been probably the most resourceful thing I've been able to do in my life.

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Uh, and whether that's some form of meditation or, uh, intentional prayer

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or doing something like Tai Chi or Qigong or yoga or taking a walk outside

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in, in the sunshine or in the rain, if that's what it is, a way to settle

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yourself before you start your day.

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And I know that's a, maybe a little difficult when you got two or three kids,

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you got to get off to school and you got that meeting right at nine o'clock.

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But if there's a way somewhere, even if it's just for five minutes and, and

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maybe at a point, uh, somewhere, uh, uh, during our conversation, Jackson, I can

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show, uh, people, uh, little technique or two that they can do in just five

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minutes to help settle themselves.

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I think that'd go along with the conversation that we're about to have.

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But just a little exercise, even if you have five minutes, okay, I get it.

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You don't have an hour and you don't have an hour and a half, but if you take

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five minutes to settle yourself, put yourself in state with whatever that needs to be.

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That may be the meeting at nine o'clock.

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That may be the parent teacher conference at three 30.

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That may be the, the, um, uh, family gathering at Thanksgiving dinner.

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Put yourself in state of who you need to be every actor, every singer, every

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presenter, whether you're Tony Robbins or someone else puts themselves in state

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before they walk out into, uh, whatever performance quote unquote performance

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they need to give.

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So what about you?

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What about putting yourself in some sort of state, just taking a minute?

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So that's what I like.

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Quick question.

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You name dropped a couple of people.

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Do you work with those level of individuals?

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Uh, no, I certainly train with them.

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Uh, I, uh, I have been following them, uh, for quite a number of years.

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And that's maybe another resource I was about to, to dive into finding

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that coach or that mentor.

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Look, I don't know Tony Robbins personally.

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I don't have the million dollars to have him.

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I his personal cell phone number in my cell phone, but I do follow his stuff

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amongst many other people.

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The people who resonate with me.

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And so the next two resources, one is just finding those coaches, whether,

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you know, they're personal growth people, or maybe there's more of a, of

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a spiritual nature, people who can help, uh, encourage you.

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And those are the books to read.

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Those are the YouTube videos to watch finding that group of people, you

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know, it's that, that thing of, uh, the five people you're going to invite to

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dinner and it was Abraham Lincoln and it's gone, Mother Teresa or whoever.

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Well, what, who would those people be for you?

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And maybe make them people you could go watch a YouTube video on.

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Uh, maybe not somebody so far back in history, but somebody

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today who inspires you.

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But then the third resource I'd like to offer to people is

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creating a mastermind group.

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And this has helped me so much over the years in terms of, you know,

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just being encouraged and being supported.

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Uh, it's nice, maybe if they're in the same field as you, but, uh, one of

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the best mastermind groups I had was just with two other people.

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We met once a week.

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They weren't really doing the same thing I was doing, but we were there

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to support and encourage each other.

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And there's, uh, an accountability there that happens when you tell somebody

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at your meeting, your gathering, you're hanging out for coffee and you say,

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well, by next week, I'm going to have two more chapters written in my book.

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By next week, we're going to have that video made by next week.

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I'm going to have my, you know, Facebook or Instagram or TikTok all organized.

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You better have it done by that next week.

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Otherwise you're going to have to explain why that didn't get done.

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And so there's not only accountability, but they're there to encourage

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that air support.

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Yes, there's constructive criticism, but that's what we're doing.

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But that's what helps you move forward.

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So while not necessarily resources in the form of books or maybe videos to

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watch or documentaries to watch, if you were to find a way to put yourself in

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state and also have those resources of maybe, you know, the mentors, whether

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you know them personally or not and, and create the, if it's possible for you,

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create that mastermind group.

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Zoom makes it super easy to find people from around the country, around the

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world to, to gather with each other.

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And that's what's helped me most of the time.

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One of the things I love about what you're doing is your skillset.

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The things you're talking about nurture a lot of beginners on this journey.

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You have a, you have a big heart for helping people get out of that darkness.

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I'm going to level up everything that you said a little bit in a controversial

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style, because it's so important that if you're going for excellence and you're

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going for that next level, you're the visionary who really wants to bring it to

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fruition, then a lot of these elements are, aren't going to get you there.

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Um, so getting into flow state, absolutely huge.

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Uh, you mentioned the books on the shelves.

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Most of us have not read the books that we need.

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That's why we have to keep reading.

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Um, I, I remember the, uh, the, uh, the emeth, I regret not reading that the

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day that it came across my desk.

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I read it eight years later.

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Um, right.

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It's super, super valuable.

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So definitely make sure that you're diving into those.

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I know Craig wasn't pulling those away as much as saying, Hey, there's

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other opportunities here too.

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Coaches and mentors look at the playing field and see who's

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actually winning championships.

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Very few coaches are actually championship level coaches.

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Most of them are pretenders.

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Most of them will tell you what you need to do, what you should do, what you have

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to do, those are control words, they're control tactics.

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So knowing how to recognize the difference between somebody who is in

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a championship level coach that also inspires their players to move forward

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versus one who controls super, super important to recognize that I love the

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five people dinner concept and masterminds as well.

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One of the things that was said there is yes, constructive

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criticism, um, is necessary, but.

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There's no, but to constructive criticism and entrepreneurship

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and vision and vision life.

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Constructive criticism is the medicine.

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It's the vitamins.

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It's the way to figure out what you're doing and what we can let go of the

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negativity associated with criticism and we can embrace it and realize, wow, this

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is fostering me to be my best self.

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I'm not talking about toxic behavior.

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I'm not talking about people who are abusive.

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I'm not talking about people who are controlling.

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I'm talking about people who can look at opportunities with you and help you see

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how to get out of your own way, which is very hard to do.

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Uh, if, if again, if I, as an individual am looking at criticism as some type of

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enemy of my success or enemy of my own state of being or wellbeing.

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So it's very important that as visionary leaders, we learn to embrace, even, even

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the negative criticism with the strength of a lion, right.

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It just because a lamb.

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Baws at me, you know, or a gazelle, um, you know, tries to make a noise

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at me to scare me if I'm a lion, there's nothing that's going to happen to me.

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Would the hyena even coming at me like good luck.

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So it's very important visionaries.

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You're building something amazing.

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Go and seek criticism from people who love and care about you and love and care

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about you feel it, Craig, Craig, feel free to double down or contrast that.

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Well, no, I was going to, I was just, everything you said is spot on.

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Brilliant.

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Uh, don't surround yourself with yes, people who are just going to tell

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you what you want to hear.

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You need to have that those people in your life who have the courage and

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the respect and love for you to tell it the way it is.

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And they, you know, they may not necessarily be raised.

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They, well, I don't think you should be doing this, that or anything.

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I was like, eh, but my vision has me in my guts telling me this is the right way to go.

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That's always great.

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This is advice, but you know, that there was important about that mastermind group.

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That was so important to my growth, not only just as a person, but in

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business and, and other endeavors.

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Was that the, the honesty of, well, I'm thinking about doing this.

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It's like, Ooh, I don't think that's a good idea.

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Uh, and, and, and talk about it.

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You know, we, we, what was nice about just having three of us is, you

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know, in an hour you get 20 minutes just to focus on yourself or if necessary.

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I take a whole hour.

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If some things are, you know, on fire and you need some, uh, some massive

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attention, they'll give it to you because of that respect, because of the lot,

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because they know when they need it, it's going to be there for them.

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So just, yeah, just to double down on what you just said.

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Yeah.

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Cause such as criticism is important, but not abuse and not toxic really

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where they're always coming down to you.

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Did this wrong?

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You just don't want that, but you also don't want everybody just to nod and say,

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yeah, yeah, yeah, just so they can get onto their thing or choice too.

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Right.

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So you got, you got masterminds, make sure again, those people I would, I

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would highly recommend making sure those people align with the principles

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of healthy boundaries.

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And you can, again, we can recognize if they constantly tell you what to do

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or not to do that shows the signs of somebody who is controlling in nature

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versus somebody who says, tell me more about that.

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Right. And figures out a little bit, a little bit more about the depth of it.

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And then says, well, you know, if that's what, you know, you feel called to do,

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then you might do it.

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And here's another perspective.

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Or here's another way of looking at, have you considered these potential

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obstacles?

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Right.

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It's because if I had told, you know, if I had a mastermind with somebody

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and they're like, Hey, I'm writing a book on a napkin, you know, and, and

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I'm excited for it.

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And I said, well, you should never write a book on a napkin, you know, or, oh,

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I don't know if you should do that.

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I could have very well discouraged J.K.

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Rowling from writing Harry Potter and becoming a billionaire.

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So having that, having that knowledge, you know, to not control the actions

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of others and to recognize how to bring people into a mastermind environment

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that can be supportive.

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And as Craig talked about, we're going to circle back to this after the break,

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not immediately, but hopefully in the conversation.

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I love to talk about how to recognize yes, men, personal, and

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recognize yes, men, personalities, because it's not the person who comes to you

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and just says yes to everything.

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They have very, we have very subtle ways as individuals of, of influence

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and manipulating.

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And when we learn those, we can either learn to use them for good or to use

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them for bad.

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And if you can learn how to detect them, you can see who's coming to you and

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who's coming at you in life.

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And I have a feeling Craig's got some very good insights related to that as

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well.

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We'll be right back and we'll dive into Craig Merriweather's vision, talk more

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about anxiety leadership and putting those to the test.

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All right.

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Welcome in to Vision Pros Live with Jackson Callum.

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I'm your show host.

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We'll be doing interviews for visionary entrepreneurs and guest leaders who are

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building fantastic visions out there.

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What's up, everybody?

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Welcome into another episode of Vision Pros Live.

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I'm your show host, Jackson Callum, founder and CEO of First Class Business.

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And I'm excited to have Craig Merriweather on today because we're going to be

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talking about a lot of very powerful elements related to anxiety and leadership.

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I love the Ted Talk.

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If you probably look up Ted Talk Anxiety, you will find an amazing Ted Talk.

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You might bet it's the first one that pops up, but the gentleman talks about how

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anxiety is not a disease.

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It is actually something that is within all of us and learning to work with it.

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It's actually strength that protects us, not something that we should deplete and

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kill.

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So I love that concept.

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And as leaders in the world, if you're leading multiple people, the more people

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that you're leading, the more likely you have a compound reality of people who are

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going to be facing decisions and facing reactionary situations and anxiety.

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So this is a super important skill to hone in and talk about and understand as

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a leader.

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Before we dive in too deep, though, with that, I want to make sure to give you

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some other resources, some of them that I find a lot of fun.

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One is Brain Glue by James Bond.

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This book Brain Glue, Jack Canfield said, you'd have to be an idiot as an

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entrepreneur not to buy this book.

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It does an excellent job of helping entrepreneurs, marketers understand how to

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make their message emotional.

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A lot of us go into the logic.

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I'm not going to go into it right now.

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It's about helping people feel really, really attached to your message.

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And the book does a much better job than I can.

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Then there's Dave Marl with the Hard to Kill podcast and hardtokill.org.

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He's helping a hundred thousand veterans lose 2 million pounds collectively.

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And I have absolutely enjoyed Dave's leadership.

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I'm in the program as well.

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He expanded it to civilians so that all of us can join into the community.

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It's a free community and you can go in there and get inspired to start

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getting jacked, if you will.

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I had no mentality like that before going into this group.

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I wasn't even working out for pretty much the last eight years.

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Now I'm up to 125 pushups per day.

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And I just added on to my weekly habits of doing 40 oblique crunches.

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And somehow he has meagered me into being my best self physically.

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I highly recommend checking out what he's up to and building that community out.

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And if you're in the Atlanta, Georgia area, he's at that military influencer

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expo presenting right now.

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Go check that out.

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Lastly, there's the water project.

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We're not affiliated with the water project, but I'm a huge fan of what

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their mission is and their transparency for how they give back.

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I had never had to consider what it's like to not have clean drinking water in my life.

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So when I found this and started to learn about it, I literally forced myself to say,

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you know what, I don't feel emotionally attached to this yet, but let me, let me

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check it out.

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And what I saw was these kids, they celebrate water.

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Like my kids celebrate Christmas day.

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And there's millions of people out there who don't have access to clean drinking

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water.

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What the water project does is you can choose which project you want to donate

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to, and then you get to see that project come to fruition.

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They send you the before and after pictures of what they've done to help

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these communities build what's called a sand dam or a borehole well.

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And they specifically focus on communities that are really, really hard for people to

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get to because those communities are less likely to ever get the help that they

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provide.

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And I think all of that is just super awesome.

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So if you're in a position to be able to give back, then absolutely go ahead and do

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that.

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If you're not, my request is just take like two minutes, probably maybe 30 seconds

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to just meditate and think.

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Who would I know that might be interested in hearing about this and then send them

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the link.

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You never know how far the ripple effect of doing good will go.

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And we got 8 billion people to help.

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So it's time for us to get up and do that, especially those of us who have the

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benefit of rocking the mic or listening to one.

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So without further ado, Craig Merriweather, welcome to Vision Pros Live.

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Thank you, Jackson.

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Just got on Amazon and ordered brain glue.

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I think you can feel my we're just talking about mentors and things.

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He's somebody I've been following for years and years.

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And so if Jack Canfield says, read this book, I'm going to go read the book.

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Smart man.

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Smart man, I think it's a wise decision to listen to people who've sold 130

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million books worldwide.

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He knows a thing or two.

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He literally expressed in the video that I watched on that how upset he was that he

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did not think of this concept first and didn't get it.

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So enjoy the book.

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Definitely let me know what you enjoy the most about it.

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And I will, too, because I'm also in the very beginning stages of listening to that

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audible.

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And the first story made me laugh out loud.

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So thanks for diving in with me on that.

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Those of you who are listening in, you know.

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Take some notes on this show.

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I think we're going to be covering some frameworks that can really help you unlock

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some things that often go overlooked or we often assume we already know enough

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about. And I think Craig's going to bring up some frameworks that that can really

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help us all level up.

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So I'll be doing that myself.

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Craig, before we dive into the frameworks, what is your vision for those that you

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serve?

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My vision for them is to learn that they can stand in the power of their own

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strength and they have the ability to heal and to change.

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In my humble opinion, change happens in an instant.

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There may be some lead up to that.

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There may be some set up to that.

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But in the work I've done with people over the years, change happens in an instant.

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You're either a smoker or you're a non smoker.

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It's not three or four months of maybe, yes, maybe, no, kind of, sort of not really.

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It's your smoker.

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You're not a smoker.

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You're holding on to that hurt and pain, clutching it, or you've let it go and you

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dropped it. And so if people.

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Could understand how powerful they are and have the ability to use their own

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unconscious part of mind, subconscious part of mind to use basically what they

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call the placebo effect.

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Mind will heal the body, not only just emotional issues, mindset issues, living

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beliefs, but physical issues.

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If you're holding on to pain in your low back or your neck or you're getting

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migraines or headaches or you have digestive issues, irritable bowel syndrome,

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a good chunk of that is due to emotional issues.

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And yes, there's also always sickness and illness and virus and injuries and

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things like this.

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And of course, take me to the emergency room when I'm in a car accident or my

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appendix is about to burst.

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But some of these issues are a direct result of the pain and the hurt we've

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been holding on to.

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And if you realize you have the power to let it go and to heal, and it doesn't

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take a long time, that is very empowering, very empowering.

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That's huge.

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I love the way that you put this to you said, my vision is to help people stand

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in the power of their own strength.

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And I think it's again, something that if you breeze past it, you don't really

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internalize what that means.

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You can miss the majesty of understanding that one, if that was really true, right?

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If we got there to that aspect, we could let go of our expectations.

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And Shakespeare says expectations are the root of all heartache.

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And so stay with me, everybody, because we live in a world where expectations are

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glorified, even though it's a synonym of entitlement.

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And so if I expect my wife to do the dishes, right?

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Or I expect her to clean the house, right?

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If I expect her to take care of all of our household, well, that's a brand new

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marriage that is pretty much destined for the divorce track, or to be extremely

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unhappy.

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And when we truly stand in the power of our own strength, we don't rely on other

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people to be our saviors in any aspect of life.

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Not that we're not willing to exercise humility and receive help or receive

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people who can do things for us.

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But it becomes a bonus factor that we're always grateful for.

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And that took me far too long in life to figure out.

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What are your thoughts on that, Craig?

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Yeah, I think that's really part of it is those expectations that we have of

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other people.

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And I think the big part of the frustration comes when we don't even let them know

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that we have expectations of them.

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00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:35,480
And yeah, I know you're talking about the dishes and vacuuming and things like

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that, but sometimes just expectations.

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Can you sit and listen to me?

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Or can we go and take a walk and be together in the busyness of life and the

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00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:52,640
extraordinaryness of where we've come to just in the last 25 years since...

427
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:53,440
I can listen to you.

428
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:54,640
I'm listening right now, Craig.

429
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:55,920
I mean, that's just kidding.

430
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:56,240
Go ahead.

431
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:57,120
Sorry, I had to do it.

432
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:04,800
Well, and that's a great example because even are you really listening or are you

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00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:09,120
just kind of waiting for yourself to jump in?

434
00:24:09,120 --> 00:24:12,240
And I know you're being facetious there, but I think a lot of people, and that's

435
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:13,680
why I find networking...

436
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:14,720
Well, I'm not reacting.

437
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:15,520
I'm responding.

438
00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:16,800
Right.

439
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:17,440
Okay, go ahead.

440
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:17,840
Continue.

441
00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:22,000
Yeah, I think you and I need to get into some relationship counseling.

442
00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:30,960
And I think a lot of us find networking events so frustrating and maybe a little

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00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:36,640
bit of a time waster because you're not there to meet and create relationships.

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00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:41,280
You're there to pitch yourself and nobody wants to hear your pitch and you don't

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00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:42,320
want to hear their pitch.

446
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:51,440
And so I think when you have the expectation, especially if you're in a

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00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:55,360
serious relationship, a long-term relationship, committed relationship,

448
00:24:55,360 --> 00:24:59,360
whether that's a romantic relationship or even a business relationship,

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if you have expectations of what a person is supposed to be doing, do they

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00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:03,360
know that?

451
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:10,400
Because they may be real happy to fulfill those expectations, but if they

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don't know you have them.

453
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:16,320
So that's where a lot of this honesty and vulnerability to sit down and say,

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hey, I need your attention.

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00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:22,640
I need you to focus on me because I had a really bad day today and I need you to

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listen to me.

457
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:28,480
But if you're getting your own minds and they're running around getting their

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own lives together and they got that PowerPoint to get done and they got to do

459
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:36,960
the dishes and the kids got to get to bed and you're stewing and frustrated

460
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:41,360
because your partner isn't paying attention to you, do they know you need

461
00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:41,840
attention?

462
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:44,480
And that's where the vulnerability comes in.

463
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:52,000
And so it's all about just one day at a time, how much can you grow today?

464
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And be honest with yourself as well, not only with the other people and what you

465
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need.

466
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:00,240
It's powerful.

467
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:03,840
You mentioned having a bad day.

468
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:05,120
Tell me more about that.

469
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:06,320
Right.

470
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:08,880
So that's what we talked about.

471
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:11,600
I reacted on purpose, guys, I was playing.

472
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:15,600
I jumped in for that respond because we think that's the highest level.

473
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:20,160
And I had a great family therapist who knocked me off my high horse because I

474
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was in this counseling session.

475
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:23,440
And my marriage is on the rocks.

476
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:26,640
And I wasn't reacting.

477
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:27,600
I was responding.

478
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:32,160
I was very much hearing what she was saying and I was responding to it.

479
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:37,840
And he said there's a third level and it's called listening to understand.

480
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:41,920
And I mean, he's about soft as he could push me off that horse, but I hit the

481
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:42,240
ground.

482
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:45,280
I was like, oh, what?

483
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:46,320
There's another level.

484
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:48,080
I was like, okay.

485
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:53,440
So I heard the words that she said, but I didn't really understand what she

486
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:53,920
meant.

487
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:59,680
And I assumed that I did and we'd all know in English assume what assumptions

488
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:00,160
make.

489
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:06,800
Oh, and I love that the A S S U and M E it makes an ass out of you and it makes

490
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:10,800
an ass out of me when I'm the one who jumps to assumptions.

491
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:14,560
I'd write that framework down, by the way, if I were, if I didn't know it,

492
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:17,760
because it has saved me from myself many times.

493
00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:22,480
And sometimes when I find myself in a travesty with somebody, it's because

494
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:24,320
I jumped into an assumption.

495
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:31,920
So Craig, what is, what's the worst leadership experience that you've ever

496
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:32,320
had?

497
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:43,840
Well, I guess it can comes back to what we were just talking about.

498
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:51,280
It's the having of expectations, leadership, having expectations of

499
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:55,360
you, but not informing you of what those expectations are.

500
00:27:55,360 --> 00:27:59,680
And so you're thinking, oh, I'm going home at five o'clock on Friday.

501
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:04,400
And they're thinking, oh my God, where did, you know, sales aren't where

502
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:05,200
they're supposed to be.

503
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:10,240
And, you know, leadership is worried about even making payroll.

504
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:11,440
You don't know that.

505
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:14,400
And they're expecting everybody, okay, we need, because they're going to work

506
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:15,200
all weekend long.

507
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:17,440
They're wanting you to work all weekend long.

508
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:18,800
And that's where that frustration gets.

509
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:22,960
We're at four 59 or like, why are you grabbing your code?

510
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:23,840
It's like, oh, it's five o'clock.

511
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:25,040
It's time to go home and be with my family.

512
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:27,440
Say, oh, we know we were staying all night.

513
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:29,680
I told you, we got to finish that project.

514
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:31,760
The great wall of China is not done, Craig.

515
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:32,400
Yeah.

516
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:35,920
I mean, certainly all of the 500 emails you got today, you read the one where I

517
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:38,160
said that everybody's staying this weekend.

518
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:42,720
And so in terms of, I mean, it goes right into what we were just talking

519
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:48,720
If leadership isn't providing you with the ability to do that, you're

520
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:53,920
going to be lacking what they expect and their expectations of you and your

521
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:54,400
work.

522
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:55,520
And that may change.

523
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:56,080
Excuse me.

524
00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:57,440
That may change over time.

525
00:28:57,440 --> 00:28:59,680
You may be hired and you've doing your job.

526
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:03,920
And as the company grows, if you're in a company that start off with, I don't

527
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:08,400
know, 10 employees and now there's a hundred employees, if not a thousand

528
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:12,720
employees, the expectations of you may have changed significantly.

529
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:15,360
Have those been addressed?

530
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:18,400
Has anybody even come to talk with you about that?

531
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:24,080
And so in terms of leadership experiences that I've had in the past, and I hope

532
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:30,160
in terms of when I've been in leadership positions, I've hopefully made my

533
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:36,400
expectations known in a clear manner.

534
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:37,440
I like what you're saying about it.

535
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:42,400
But in terms of whether, again, we just mentioned it, whether a romantic

536
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:46,880
relationship or a relationship business, or just even within family, that

537
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:50,640
family dynamic of older brother, younger brother, older sister, younger sister,

538
00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:55,440
mom and dad, grandparents, what are the expectations within that framework?

539
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:56,000
Huge.

540
00:29:56,000 --> 00:30:02,080
Well, in that word expectation, I'll tell you what, if you want to ruin most of

541
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:07,120
your relationships in life, follow the advice I'm about to share, which is to

542
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:14,480
let go of expectations because expectations are a toxic vice and move

543
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:17,360
to a word called aspirations.

544
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:24,080
But the benefit of moving and ruining all of my inauthentic relationships,

545
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:29,280
all the superficial ones that are following me, but moving towards people

546
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:35,040
who have a higher state of communication, that have a more appropriate alignment

547
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:39,040
of balance and appreciation for life, is that the relationships that then

548
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:43,120
gravitate towards our relationships that are absolutely golden.

549
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:48,080
So I, as a leader, strive so hard, I have expectations, absolutely.

550
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:53,280
And I strive very hard to kill my expectations and to say, you know what,

551
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:58,800
I am going to be grateful for the outcome and I'm going to give my best effort.

552
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:03,840
And I'm going to strive to inspire my team members to give their best efforts.

553
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:09,520
The byproduct of that has been a team that does not plan Facebook, that does

554
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:14,000
not waste time, that does not quite quit, that does not check out on Friday

555
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:18,640
evening, on Friday early, a team that shows up sometimes on their days off,

556
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:19,920
not prompted by me.

557
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:24,720
I want them to go do their balance, but it is amazing to see people who usually

558
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:29,120
clock in early and clock out a little bit late and my constant job, my

559
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:34,160
responsibility is to constantly tell them, hey, please, please don't leave

560
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:34,480
late.

561
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:38,080
You've got a family that's counting on you to be there.

562
00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:42,720
And if you make this a habit, who are they eventually going to not like?

563
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:46,640
They're going to want you to find another job.

564
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:48,640
And I love working with you and you're amazing.

565
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:54,720
And so I don't want our work-life balance to get in the way of a great thing.

566
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:56,320
So let's try to unplug.

567
00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:57,360
I know we wanted to get it done.

568
00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:59,200
And nobody's going to die.

569
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:01,200
And I don't work in an ER.

570
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,680
So I'm fortunate that I get to do that.

571
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:05,680
Yes, that would be the next level up.

572
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:09,520
And my opinion is for all of us to actually look at, you know what?

573
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:14,720
Are my expectations causing disappointment in my life?

574
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:18,320
Is there anything good that comes out of having an expectation not fulfilled?

575
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:20,720
And the feeling associated with that?

576
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:25,360
I've never been uplifted by my expectation or somebody else's

577
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:27,360
expectations on me.

578
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:30,960
So what's the best leadership experience that you've ever had?

579
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:39,040
The best leadership experiences I've had in the past is when I'm supported and

580
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:40,080
encouraged.

581
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:42,480
And I think you just get a great example of it.

582
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:48,320
And you're specifically talking about focusing on balance and making sure they

583
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:50,640
have that balanced time.

584
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:52,960
And family is important.

585
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:59,920
And so having a leadership that recognizes that you are a human being and a person with a life.

586
00:32:59,920 --> 00:33:05,280
And it's not all just about the bottom line and the spreadsheet at the end of the month and the way

587
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:06,080
it's looking.

588
00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:13,920
But also having leadership because, assumingly, I'm hired out of the maybe 100 people that

589
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:20,640
applied and the five or six that were interviewed because you saw something within me that you felt

590
00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:29,200
could help your company, help your business improve, grow, and let me do that.

591
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:35,520
And I think the best leadership experiences are allowing you to do that even while making

592
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:36,560
mistakes.

593
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:43,360
And I think Steve Jobs in one of those, you see those little blurbs on Instagram or Facebook

594
00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:47,040
sometimes of things that Steve Jobs talks about.

595
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:51,840
And he talks about getting frustrated about somebody did something, they did it wrong.

596
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:59,680
But instead of him going to fix it himself, he says, let them go through it and let them figure

597
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:01,120
out how to fix it themselves.

598
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:02,640
Yes, that might take some time.

599
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:07,680
That might take a month or two for them to figure out what they did wrong, how they did it, and

600
00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:08,640
how they can improve it.

601
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:14,240
Now they know how to do it instead of you constantly going in and cleaning up the mess.

602
00:34:14,240 --> 00:34:22,880
And so having the respect that, one, I can do the job and encouraging me and supporting

603
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:26,400
me in that, but also, OK, yeah, I'm going to stumble and fall.

604
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:29,840
And yeah, I may fall off the horse and hit hard.

605
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:38,720
But if you allow me to pick myself up and realize how maybe I did that wrong or I turned the wrong

606
00:34:38,720 --> 00:34:42,400
direction, then I'm not going to do it again because I learned how to do it.

607
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:45,120
And I'm not going to do it again because I learned from my mistakes.

608
00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:46,400
Yeah.

609
00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:52,800
And so leadership is like it's not in your face telling you what to do all the time.

610
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:53,440
Do it my way.

611
00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:54,000
Do it my way.

612
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:55,360
You hired me for a reason.

613
00:34:56,080 --> 00:35:01,600
And yes, I might not do it your way, but I'm going to get the work done and I'm going to do it well.

614
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:02,560
Yeah.

615
00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:03,520
Empowering our people.

616
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:10,480
It's a really hard concept to implement and to do for most of us, especially those of us who are

617
00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:14,480
alpha in nature and we want things to be done a certain way.

618
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:21,680
But most people who are en route to being an alpha are still very much beta and how they go about it.

619
00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:28,160
And that's that discipline of that inferiority complex of having to control or trying to make

620
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:33,760
things happen a certain way versus true alpha that does exactly what you're talking about,

621
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:37,840
allowing the space for things to happen, knowing there's slight consequences,

622
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:43,200
but the long-term travesty and consequences of doing everything yourself or forcing the issue

623
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:44,960
is far more catastrophic.

624
00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:49,280
And this is the last opportunity, Craig, that you had to share a powerful lesson.

625
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,560
What powerful lesson can other visionaries learn from your experience?

626
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:58,320
And this was something I learned a while ago.

627
00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:02,480
It was actually just a story I think I might have read in a book or heard somebody else say.

628
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:11,600
But this manager of a big business was talking about his experience of growing his company.

629
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:18,480
And what was interesting is he lived down the street from a vice president of a company who

630
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:22,960
had been managing companies for decades and was maybe even close to retirement.

631
00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:31,520
And what he would see this guy at barbecues and neighborhood gatherings and get together

632
00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:32,800
and they would talk business.

633
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:39,440
And he was managing a smaller company that was growing and he was doing a lot of the work.

634
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:46,080
And the manager who had so many decades of experience would pull him aside and say,

635
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:47,680
look, you're doing all this work.

636
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:49,520
I see you come home late on Friday.

637
00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:52,240
I see you not going to work on Saturday and Sunday.

638
00:36:52,240 --> 00:36:53,040
You're a manager.

639
00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:56,560
That's for you to manage other people.

640
00:36:56,560 --> 00:37:01,680
You're going to grow this company and you're going to go from 10 employees to 100 employees

641
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:02,400
in about a year.

642
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:05,440
You can't continue doing everybody's job.

643
00:37:06,240 --> 00:37:11,280
And so from now on, you are going to leave at 8 a.m.

644
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:13,360
and you're going to be back home at 5 p.m.

645
00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:14,880
and you're going to be home on the weekends.

646
00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:23,440
And this new manager promised that he would do that and he would look out the window and

647
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:26,800
wait until he saw the other guy leave for his job.

648
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:30,640
Then he would grab his briefcase and get to his car and drive to work.

649
00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:34,880
And he knew he said, I got to be home by five because he wanted to be home in his car in

650
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:37,360
the driveway for when the other guy came on to see what he was doing.

651
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:42,800
And that was the best thing that ever happened to him because he grew the company to 100,

652
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:43,840
200 employees.

653
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:47,760
Of course, he can't do everybody's job, but he was there to manage.

654
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:51,120
And that was very inspiring to me.

655
00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:59,040
In that if I need somebody, I'm just at the moment, just kind of, you know, I hire consultants

656
00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:04,240
to help with graphic design or maybe podcast editing or recording, anything like this.

657
00:38:04,240 --> 00:38:05,920
I don't have employees per se.

658
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:10,640
But if I do need that extra help, I let them do that.

659
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:15,040
You know, I don't edit the recording and then give it to them so they can tighten up

660
00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:19,040
the recording and say, you do what you need to do in the world.

661
00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:22,320
You do what you need to do in the way you need to do it.

662
00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:26,480
And that saves me all the time so I can start focusing on something else.

663
00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:30,720
Correct. Huge, awesome, powerful principle.

664
00:38:30,720 --> 00:38:35,040
The E-Myth does an excellent job of breaking down how to do that as well.

665
00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:41,280
It's again, that book changed my life and helped me level up in big ways as a leader

666
00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:45,680
because a lot of times we one, we do try to doodle, right?

667
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:47,600
We try to be the one who gets it all done.

668
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:55,280
But the second phase of that is we hire people and a lot of times we hire them and we move

669
00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:59,280
way out of the way and we just let them go nuts with what they're doing.

670
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:03,360
And in the worst case scenario, we actually hire an absolute rock star.

671
00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:09,920
But the rock star continues to do more and more and more and more.

672
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:11,920
And they usually don't set healthy boundaries.

673
00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:15,760
So they usually end up doing far too much while we enjoy that process.

674
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:19,600
Well, what happens when that rock star then leaves because they felt taken advantage of?

675
00:39:20,240 --> 00:39:24,720
Then you end up with a huge amount of success thanks to their contributions.

676
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:29,200
But now you have no idea what procedures, resources and templates they followed.

677
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:33,280
So the implosions that can occur in business are many.

678
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:37,040
There's so many different variables and variations of what that can look like.

679
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:44,080
It's very important to know how to develop the personnel skills to be able to empower

680
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:48,960
people the right way, position them for success and continuing to magnify our own leadership.

681
00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:52,880
With that said, frameworks, Craig, we did promise it.

682
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:54,400
And so I'm excited about it.

683
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:54,960
Go ahead.

684
00:39:54,960 --> 00:40:01,520
I'd love to have just one framework for you for either leadership or managing anxiety.

685
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:03,040
Either way, I know it's going to level us up.

686
00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:12,640
Well, what I like to tell people is what's strongest within your mind is what you practice

687
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:13,680
over and over again.

688
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:15,360
It's what you do over and over again.

689
00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:17,680
Of course, whatever your practice, you're going to get better at.

690
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:20,720
If you're learning how to play the piano or the guitar, if you're learning dance,

691
00:40:20,720 --> 00:40:25,200
you're learning martial arts, you only get a black belt in judo or taekwondo.

692
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:28,160
If you're practicing over and over again, we see this with little kids.

693
00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:31,120
We saw it ourselves when we learned how to walk or ride a bicycle.

694
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:35,520
What you do over and over again is what you're going to get better at.

695
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:37,520
What's strongest in your mind is what you do over and over again.

696
00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:39,680
So what if you're practicing anxiety?

697
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:41,600
What if you're practicing fear?

698
00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:43,920
What if you're practicing being angry?

699
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:51,360
I've seen, I know people who are the calmest, most peaceful people, most pacifistic,

700
00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:56,080
if that's even a word, kind of people you will ever meet.

701
00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:58,960
And yet you get them behind the wheel of a car on a freeway.

702
00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:04,880
And the rage that comes out, the anger, the curse words.

703
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:12,880
And because they have trained themselves that while in this little capsule of a piece of metal

704
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:18,000
with their hands on a steering wheel, sitting in this kind of strange little seat with a seatbelt

705
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:23,200
and moving their foot from the accelerator to the gas pedal, puts them into a certain state.

706
00:41:24,240 --> 00:41:26,480
Unfortunately, it's a state of anger and rage.

707
00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:30,400
And by practicing that, they're literally anchoring this kind of environment,

708
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:35,760
maybe even to the music that may be playing on the radio or through their phone or whatever,

709
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:37,680
to this experience.

710
00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:41,280
And this experience has trained them to get enraged.

711
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:48,560
And so maybe what in your life do you notice that the minute you realize this event is going to

712
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:55,920
happen, which may be Thanksgiving dinner with family or that get together with family,

713
00:41:55,920 --> 00:42:01,680
get together with family, that's all of a sudden the anxiety or the anger or the frustration

714
00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:03,040
starts up.

715
00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:05,840
Maybe it's not family, maybe it's work, maybe it's something else.

716
00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:08,800
But what you practice, you get better at.

717
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:12,720
But what's fascinating about this work, it doesn't take weeks.

718
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:16,880
I mean, it doesn't take years and months to change.

719
00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:22,000
It may just take weeks because what you practice, you get better at.

720
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:27,040
And so if you're noticing an aspect of yourself, maybe it's anxiety, maybe it's fear,

721
00:42:27,040 --> 00:42:30,480
maybe it's anger, maybe it's overwhelmed or worry or something else.

722
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:37,440
If you're noticing an aspect of yourself, a mindset issue, you're allowed to change that.

723
00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:39,200
Now, it does take some practice.

724
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:40,400
It does take some work.

725
00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:47,280
But again, it doesn't take months and years to change your state of mind or even state of body.

726
00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:50,080
You start rewiring your brain in less than a week.

727
00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:53,040
They've showed that through multiple research studies.

728
00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:58,960
And so the University College of London states that it takes 66 days to create a habit.

729
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:05,920
That meaning, now whatever that activity or thought process or mindset or even emotional state

730
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:11,680
you want to create has become an automatic habit within two months, two and a half months.

731
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:16,400
So by practicing and depending on what it is you want to work on,

732
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:20,960
by practicing multiple times a day, even if just five minutes here, five minutes there,

733
00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:27,040
10 minutes over there, you can start rewiring your brain, creating new neural pathways within

734
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:32,000
your brain in less than a week and have a fully formed habit within about two months.

735
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:33,440
That's pretty extraordinary.

736
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:37,040
But it's that thing you have to do it.

737
00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:45,680
It's like some of the addiction kind of programs say, you know, the process has worked,

738
00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:47,360
but you got to work the processes.

739
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:52,320
You know, just like you were talking about a little bit with your physical health.

740
00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:55,840
I mean, you didn't start with, you know, a hundred pushups.

741
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:57,360
Well, I would.

742
00:43:58,080 --> 00:43:59,040
That's funny, though.

743
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:03,600
I don't agree with the timelines because timelines are arbitrary to paint on a person.

744
00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:07,520
But so the general realities that exist out there, they're important benchmarks.

745
00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:12,560
But, you know, for general statistics, my life was supposed to be an absolute failure.

746
00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:19,360
I was raised by my single mom in a broken home, experienced all the different types of abuse you can.

747
00:44:20,240 --> 00:44:24,000
You know, and so there's all these, you know, so you grow up learning that, OK,

748
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:25,360
well, you're supposed to be the failure.

749
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:33,040
You know, and I knew that I needed to have I need to live a different way in order to get different results.

750
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:41,360
And so I'm 100 percent in agreement with you that what I love that you said, where are you practicing those aspects?

751
00:44:41,360 --> 00:44:47,760
So when I got in my car and one day I don't even remember what prompted me, I just realized like, you know what?

752
00:44:48,240 --> 00:44:55,600
I sit forward when I drive and I'm like, it's go time and I don't believe in the defensive driving.

753
00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:58,880
I believe in I believed in proactive driving.

754
00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:03,120
And so it's like, you know, you can do that all you want, but see you.

755
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:06,480
You know, I'm weaving in and out, making sure I'm getting to where I go.

756
00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:08,880
But I changed that years ago.

757
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:11,520
And one day I just decided I was like, you know what?

758
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:21,040
I was like, I'm going to lay my seat way back and scoot it way forward and I'm going to drive in a super chill position.

759
00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:26,960
And I find myself often going, you're going to you guys are going to hate me now under the speed limit.

760
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:30,480
I find myself saying, you know what?

761
00:45:30,480 --> 00:45:38,800
If I'm going to be stuck in traffic, I've got I've got Pandora, I've got TED Talks, I've got all these things.

762
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:40,880
I've got all sorts of things I can do.

763
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:42,960
It's no different than being in my office.

764
00:45:43,680 --> 00:45:46,720
Why not just enjoy this process?

765
00:45:46,720 --> 00:45:48,720
And then, yeah, I'm a little bit aggressive.

766
00:45:48,720 --> 00:45:53,360
So when somebody gets upset at me for whatever reason, and they're, you know, you can see I'm honking, you can see I'm yelling.

767
00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:54,560
I like to go like this.

768
00:45:57,040 --> 00:45:58,400
I put my ear up to the window.

769
00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:03,600
I don't know, maybe somebody I'll get shot for doing it, but I like to just tease them and be like, I can't hear you.

770
00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:12,720
You know, and I don't have anxiety when I drive, you know, and so there's lots of things we but we don't have to rely on the timelines.

771
00:46:12,720 --> 00:46:13,680
And we are out of time.

772
00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:17,840
But one thing that you also shared, you talked about you're a smoker or you're not.

773
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:30,320
And it made me really happy because as much as I love the AA programs and what they do for people and the programs like that, so many people fall into this trap of permanently label themselves.

774
00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:34,240
And those programs encourage you to do that in some aspects.

775
00:46:34,240 --> 00:46:37,120
And I think it's beyond unhealthy and stupid.

776
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:43,680
So there's this movie, The Gambler, and then at Mark Wahlberg, I'm going to ruin the movie for anybody who's listening, by the way.

777
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:51,280
But when you when he goes to the end and he finally finishes his last gamble and he has destroyed his life and everybody's life in the process pretty much.

778
00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:52,720
And he finishes his last gamble.

779
00:46:52,720 --> 00:47:01,360
But, you know, at the end of the movie, he ends up giving that money to the people who he owes it to and he walks away with nothing and one of them wants to give him one hundred thousand dollars.

780
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:03,360
And he tells the guy, F you.

781
00:47:03,360 --> 00:47:07,680
And he had just gotten this lesson from the guy that you should have enough money in your life.

782
00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:13,520
Like you arrive when you get to the point where you could say F you to somebody and and and just move away because you have the money.

783
00:47:13,520 --> 00:47:18,800
Well, Mark Wahlberg in the end of the movie says, by the way, I'm not a gambler.

784
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:21,840
Then he walks away from one hundred thousand dollars and says, F you.

785
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:23,280
You know, he's got nothing, right?

786
00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:25,360
Nothing but his relationship that he's going back to.

787
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:36,480
And the whole movie is actually about grief and overcoming the loss of his grandfather that just disrupted his life for a specific time.

788
00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:41,760
But he knew in his heart that he was not a gambler.

789
00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:46,560
He was not what he was doing to cope with whatever it was he had going on.

790
00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:48,320
So we are chameleons.

791
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:54,960
We have the ability to evolve and to not be limited by some label that somebody else puts on us.

792
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:59,200
And we do have the ability to create habits instantly.

793
00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:04,080
I'm not saying it's easy and I'm not going to have the framework for all of you.

794
00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:09,040
All I'm saying is, please don't beat yourself up if you're like, well, I'm not at day 66 yet.

795
00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:13,840
Oh, you know, and looking at things from this scientific perspective.

796
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:20,320
But the the the formulas that you just blessed us with, Craig, where are you in these circumstances?

797
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:27,760
I'm absolutely going to be applying that and saying, you know what, where am I still not coming out as my best self?

798
00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:31,840
Because that's that's robbing me of my best opportunities.

799
00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:37,520
Yeah, I love what you just said, because you said I'm not there yet.

800
00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:43,120
And so that implies within your unconscious mind that you will get there.

801
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:47,360
And whether that's tomorrow next week or next month, you're going to get there.

802
00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:49,040
And you've already programmed yourself.

803
00:48:49,040 --> 00:48:52,000
You already and that's what's so beautiful about a lot of the work I do.

804
00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:53,920
It's not so much that I have to hypnotize people.

805
00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:55,040
We're already hypnotized.

806
00:48:55,040 --> 00:48:56,480
That's why we feel the anger.

807
00:48:56,480 --> 00:48:57,360
You already did it to me.

808
00:48:58,480 --> 00:48:59,520
...missing people.

809
00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:03,280
But by hypnotizing yourself to say, this is going to happen.

810
00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:05,920
It hasn't happened yet.

811
00:49:06,720 --> 00:49:11,200
And so that implies to every cell of your body that's going to get done.

812
00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:12,480
And it's pretty powerful.

813
00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:17,520
Oh, it's amazingly powerful if we will put in the work, if we will get after it.

814
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:19,200
So Vision Pros, we hope you get after it.

815
00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:21,200
And we're super grateful that you all joined us today.

816
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:22,880
We'll see you in the next episode.

817
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:24,240
Thank you for being here today.

818
00:49:24,240 --> 00:49:26,720
I'm really happy that you tuned in to Vision Pros live.

819
00:49:26,720 --> 00:49:31,600
I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions as these episodes continue to move forward.

820
00:49:31,600 --> 00:49:33,360
This is going to get more and more fun.

821
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:35,200
We'll have more and more engagement as well.

822
00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:37,360
We'll invite people to participate in the show.

823
00:49:37,360 --> 00:49:39,680
And thank you for giving us your time and attention.

824
00:49:39,680 --> 00:49:43,840
Have an excellent time building out your vision and becoming a Vision Pro yourself.