1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,000 Tell me about your vision. 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:06,640 My vision is that all people can feel connected, heard, understood, and appreciated. 3 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:10,640 It's my mission statement in life. 4 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:13,360 I want to help people make more meaningful relationships 5 00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:18,800 in all areas of their life, personal and professional, families, business, coworkers. 6 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:24,640 We should not feel like we are lost and no one understands it appreciates us. 7 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:27,520 Tell me more about that. 8 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:32,880 Well, in my own personal journey, I struggled with making those connections. 9 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:36,240 And because I felt so lonely for so many years, 10 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:38,400 I thought that there was something wrong with me. 11 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:41,920 Because if I look around, I would see everyone else out there 12 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:43,760 seem to have their own relationships. 13 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:46,560 They seem to have their friend groups, their families were intact. 14 00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:50,800 And I was like, well, what does everyone know that I don't know? 15 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:55,120 And I would go and try to ask them, try to get some information. 16 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:57,440 Like, okay, you know something, I don't. 17 00:00:57,440 --> 00:01:00,480 And I can never really get a clear answer about that. 18 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:04,320 And so I think a lot of people are struggling and they're feeling the same way. 19 00:01:04,320 --> 00:01:08,880 Like, how can I get these kind of relationships that I see on TV 20 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:13,520 or that I see on Instagram or that I see on other social medias? 21 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:15,760 How can my relationships be like this? 22 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:17,760 I'm just not getting an answer. 23 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:20,320 And those people might think that there's something wrong with them. 24 00:01:20,320 --> 00:01:24,480 So I want to dispel that idea that there's something wrong with them. 25 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:27,840 It's just perhaps they don't know what they need to know. That's all. 26 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:31,280 Oh, that's a very simple vision and it's very profound. 27 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:38,320 You kind of already shared where did this vision come from. 28 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:44,640 But do you have any stories behind the why of your vision? 29 00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:51,600 Well, like I said, I struggled with making those meaningful relationships. 30 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:55,600 And I started to believe that there was something wrong with me. 31 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:59,680 And I would just not pursue any kind of real connection. 32 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:04,240 I would hide myself from essentially hiding how I felt about things so that I can fit in. 33 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:06,480 Because I thought, well, that's what everyone else is doing. 34 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:11,760 So I need to hide myself to fit in or I need to not share when I'm struggling with something. 35 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:14,160 And it came to a head many, many times in my life. 36 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:18,480 But the one that I can think of in particular, when I was 20 years old, 37 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:24,640 I had a really bad stomach issue for a couple of days. 38 00:02:24,640 --> 00:02:26,080 And I thought, it's not a big deal. 39 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:30,240 I'm just going to take some Tums and drink some Milanta and I will be OK. 40 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:32,080 I will eventually recover from it. 41 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:33,920 But it was worse than I had thought. 42 00:02:34,640 --> 00:02:40,320 And I had actually went to seek medical attention and they said, look, it's your appendix. 43 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:41,520 Your appendix could rupture. 44 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:48,400 And I was so surprised by this and didn't tell anyone that I had this real connection. 45 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:51,520 I had this real bad stomach pain for a couple of days. 46 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:54,240 Even though I was in a relationship, I didn't tell anyone. 47 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:59,840 I didn't tell the people that I call my friends because I thought that they didn't really care that deeply for me. 48 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:01,760 They wouldn't support me if I needed it. 49 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:03,600 I didn't even know how to say this. 50 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,400 Don't open up. 51 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,800 As soon as you open up, they're going to leave you. 52 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:08,240 This is what I thought. 53 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:10,160 And I don't want people to think that. 54 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:13,520 It could have been a really catastrophic situation. 55 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:15,760 But I went to the hospital and they took care of me. 56 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:17,760 I had surgery and everything was OK. 57 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:22,800 Even then, I barely talked about the fact that I had surgery to my friends. 58 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:24,640 I just kept myself hidden. 59 00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:28,000 And there are so many of us just suffering because we're hidden like that. 60 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:37,040 What would you say that was the cause or the reason behind your feeling you needed to hide your feelings? 61 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:41,120 Oh, certainly because they were never seen and appreciated. 62 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:43,200 They were never they were not appreciated. 63 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:50,160 And unconsciously, I received all that information sharing the things that were joyful and fun and interesting to me. 64 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:51,920 And people would say, oh, that's stupid. 65 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:53,120 Oh, get a hobby. 66 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:54,800 Oh, get a life. 67 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:56,800 They would laugh and make fun of those things. 68 00:03:56,800 --> 00:04:02,720 And so if I like Pokemon or if I like Sailor Moon, you know, when I was a kid, it was just something that continued to happen. 69 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:06,240 Anything that was joyful and important to me was downplay. 70 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:09,120 And so I thought, well, people really don't care. 71 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:15,120 I took that with me into adulthood and continued out for the rest of my life until I discovered not the rest of my life. 72 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:21,040 I'm here saying something different, but it impacted me for several decades. 73 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:26,960 Wow. You lost a lot of time and emotions, I'm assuming, during that time. 74 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:33,760 Well, I I'd like to say that I learned like it was a learning process. 75 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:38,800 I wouldn't be able to tell you that story today if I hadn't gone through the process, gone through this process. 76 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,680 So I helped people go through the process a lot quicker. 77 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:46,800 I learned a whole lot of things about myself along the way that I can reflect on today. 78 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:53,600 Like, oh, this is another experience that I've had and I can make an opportunity or now it presents an opportunity for me to change it. 79 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:56,320 So no longer will I feel like I can't share. 80 00:04:56,320 --> 00:05:09,200 I just open up and I tell people what's on my mind because I know it's important not to feel that that pain of being misunderstood more so than it is to be rejected. 81 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:15,520 I can handle the rejection, but I don't like the pain of being misunderstood because I didn't open up. 82 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:22,400 Wow. What what have you experienced since you started opening up? 83 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:29,520 Oh, lots of rejection. But it's a good thing. 84 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:37,920 That's a good thing. I operate with this belief that the world and the universe will continue to present things to me. 85 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,960 And I get the opportunity to decide whether or not I want them. 86 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:48,240 And if I get rejected by somebody or something, it's a sign that it wasn't for me and I didn't want it in the first place. 87 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:50,320 They'll give me a reason eventually. 88 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:56,080 If it's a person and they reject me, well, I always want to be around people who want to be around me. 89 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:59,440 So I'll share a super quick story. Is that OK? 90 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:00,240 Go ahead. 91 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:04,560 All right. So I'm transgendered female to male. 92 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:14,160 And when I was working through this and learning more about being vulnerable, opening up, sharing my feelings, I thought that is the key for me not for me to make meaningful relationships. 93 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:17,840 That's why I'm not making connections because of the shared with my story. 94 00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:22,800 I didn't open up when I needed help, so I need to open up sooner rather than later. 95 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:29,520 So I decided I would open up and I would talk about being trans because I wanted to talk about something that was deep and important to me. 96 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:31,360 I thought that was the key move. 97 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:36,400 So I had this mindset where I was going to go to a comedy club, positive intention. 98 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,960 I'm going to make a friend. 99 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:43,280 I look for someone and be intentional to talk to. I found this guy. Let's have a conversation. 100 00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:52,320 We're talking and it seems really good. And I want to talk about me being trans because I thought in my mind that is going to help us make a meaningful relationship. 101 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:55,680 They need to know that right away. Don't hide anything, Lee. 102 00:06:55,680 --> 00:07:02,720 You've got it. So I feel a little bit cautious about just saying it right up like, hello, I'm trans. 103 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:05,120 That's wild. That's weird. That's a little too much. 104 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:09,760 But I use something called strategic vulnerability where I open up the conversation a little bit. 105 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:14,720 And I talked about LGBTQ stuff and they were like, yeah, I'm fine with that. Not a big deal. 106 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:18,480 And then I talked about trans things and they were like, oh, I have a problem with trans people. 107 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:21,440 I've never met one before, but I don't have a problem with it. 108 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:32,240 And I thought, oh, perfect. I'm going to tell him that I'm transgendered and I'm going to fill that curiosity gap for him and then we'll be best friends. 109 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:42,000 And so I did. And the guy was just like. And he froze. It's like a glitch or something. 110 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:46,640 He froze and then he just left. He didn't say anything else to me in the conversation. 111 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:53,600 He just left. And I'm sharing the story with you because I want to be around people who want to be around me. 112 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:58,800 And although I was really devastated and hurt by that situation, I did not die. 113 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:06,160 What I learned is that I need to be a bit more intentional about sharing the deeper things about who I am. 114 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:17,760 Still, vulnerability is the key. But sharing those deeper parts of who you are, not everybody wants to know them and not everybody can understand them. 115 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:22,480 You're absolutely correct. Not everyone wants to know them and not everyone wants to understand them. 116 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:24,560 And they have the capacity to understand them. 117 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:36,080 Right. A lot of that also comes with what people hear around in culture and what they watch on social media and what they follow. 118 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:47,680 And it's very unlikely nowadays to find or you see someone and you don't have a perception in your mind automatically when you look at them or you see them. 119 00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:57,040 And when it comes to transgender people, I think that would also be very likely when people say, oh, I see a transgender person. 120 00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:59,360 Oh my gosh. You know what I mean? I've got to protect myself. 121 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:04,880 There could be a lot of, I'll say, fuzz in there that necessarily might not be correct. 122 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:08,560 And I thank you for sharing that. 123 00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:16,800 Yeah. And one of the bigger takeaways, I know that I'm trans and this is my experience, but I'd like to equate the transness. 124 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:23,840 The idea with the idea of the fact that we all have something that's deep and important to us that other people just cannot understand. 125 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:32,960 And so knowing that about ourselves and knowing who to share it with is going to be very powerful to make the right kind of connections. 126 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:35,920 Who can handle the capacity to know you? 127 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:42,480 We go around and discover who that is rather than just hiding it and saying no one will ever understand me. 128 00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:49,040 But if you're paying attention, if you're intentional, you're strategically vulnerable about what you share, you'll discover that. 129 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:57,360 That is profound. I haven't had an experience like that yet because I have not been intentional like that. 130 00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:01,200 But you have. So I commend you for sharing that. 131 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:09,520 That is absolutely correct. Instead of sharing it with everyone, it's more important to share it with the right people. 132 00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:10,400 Right. 133 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:14,320 A lot of things I can't share with my mom because my mom wouldn't understand the same way. 134 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:15,360 Same way, right? 135 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:20,160 Yeah. And that's very powerful. Thank you for sharing that. 136 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:26,800 Well, our next question for you, Coach Lee, is what is your goal for being on the show? 137 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:35,120 My goal for being on the show aligns directly with the vision of helping people feel heard, understood, appreciated and accepted. 138 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:40,480 I want to reach as many people as I can with this information about being yourself. 139 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:44,400 There's an idea out there that says you have to love yourself first. 140 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:48,720 And I want people to know that, of course, we need to love ourselves first. 141 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:57,840 Loving ourselves really means to understand us, what's important to us, what values we hold, how we're going to be in spaces with people we don't like, 142 00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:02,480 how we're going to be in spaces with our family members, people we do like, all of those things. 143 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:04,400 We need to know more about ourselves. 144 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:10,880 And there was great confusion for me with the idea of loving yourself first. 145 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:17,520 And my goal for being on the show is to help people understand that loving yourself first is spending more time with yourself, 146 00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:22,880 understanding yourself, appreciating, accepting that person that you are. 147 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:27,520 And how was that experience for you? 148 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:33,760 Oh, it was wonderful. It continues. It continues. It continues, it continues, it continues. 149 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:36,400 I learned something new about myself every day. 150 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:43,120 And it's a journey that feels good because I'm delighted in what I discover about myself. 151 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:49,920 Even when I reflect on things that I've done in the past, I'm like, wow, look at me, I've changed so much. 152 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:53,440 So it's a delightful experience to learn more about me. 153 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:57,360 Thank you for being here today. I'm really happy that you tuned in to Vision Pros Live. 154 00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:02,240 I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions as these episodes continue to move forward. 155 00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:05,760 This is going to get more and more fun. We'll have more and more engagement as well. 156 00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:07,920 We'll invite people to participate in the show. 157 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,240 And thank you for giving us your time and attention. 158 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:33,120 Have an excellent time building out your vision and becoming a Vision Pro yourself.