1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,480 Jared Gainham, lead trainer, self mastery for men, also affiliated with Tony Robbins. 2 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:09,520 Tell me about your vision. 3 00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:15,640 Yeah, so it was 2018-19 and I had just been through a divorce. 4 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:18,960 I had just been through basically bankruptcy of my business. 5 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:23,280 I was doing really well at the time and I just kind of hit rock bottom. 6 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:27,560 It was one of those moments where it was like I felt like I was failing in every single 7 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:29,120 category as a man. 8 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:32,920 And I knew that I had potential but I didn't know how to let it out. 9 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:37,360 And what I decided to do was like if I can literally help myself out, if I can figure 10 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:42,340 a way out of this and master myself in some way, I'm going to turn around because it can't 11 00:00:42,340 --> 00:00:43,340 just be me. 12 00:00:43,340 --> 00:00:45,080 There's other men that are feeling this way. 13 00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:49,480 If I can turn around and turn my life around in a positive way, I'm going to dedicate my 14 00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:53,920 life essentially to turning around and helping other men do the same thing. 15 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:54,920 That's awesome. 16 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:55,920 Well, that's awesome. 17 00:00:55,920 --> 00:01:00,240 And I say that as a man who was also divorced February of 2018. 18 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:05,360 So the silver, a good friend of mine, John Whaley, fantastic consultant, calls it the 19 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:08,720 silver road of progress instead of the silver lining. 20 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:11,920 And I was like that is so spot on to know. 21 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:16,880 So you went through that divorce. 22 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:21,040 One of my friends said, Jackson, I'm not worried about you because you don't drink. 23 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:24,080 And I was like, well, you got a good point. 24 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:25,800 What was it like for you though? 25 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:27,840 There were some really hard aspects of that. 26 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:29,600 How did you get through that? 27 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:30,600 Was it easy? 28 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:32,720 Did you have falls? 29 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:35,600 Did you skyrocket to success immediately? 30 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:38,960 No, I think I hit every branch on the way down. 31 00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:42,240 I think that's what happened. 32 00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:45,480 So I'm the type of guy where I'm a coach. 33 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:49,040 I help people and my ex-wife had a ton of problems. 34 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:53,080 And I was like, well, if I can't save her, then who am I as a coach? 35 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:54,560 So I kind of went down with the ship. 36 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:56,200 I had addiction issues. 37 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,840 And it took everything in my power to actually end up leaving. 38 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:00,480 And I finally did. 39 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:04,800 But when I did, I was 80 pounds overweight due to all the stress. 40 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:09,700 I was close to six figures in debt because simultaneous, when it rains, it pours. 41 00:02:09,700 --> 00:02:15,640 My biggest client at the time, I was doing large scale video production in arenas, like 42 00:02:15,640 --> 00:02:17,840 MMA events, UFC fight pass. 43 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:21,080 I had camera cranes and instant replay and I had production. 44 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:22,520 So I had high overhead. 45 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:23,840 My biggest client stops paying me. 46 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:24,840 It goes on. 47 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:27,280 So now I'm on the hook for all of this overhead. 48 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:30,600 And I have no place to stay because I'm in significant debt. 49 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:34,840 My parents let me stay at their condo, but it was an over 65 community and they weren't 50 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:35,840 living there. 51 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:38,200 So I was getting threatened to be evicted. 52 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,760 So I had to hide in the dark essentially from that. 53 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,960 So it was really, really bad. 54 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:48,480 And I just thought though, like I'm a man, obviously. 55 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,920 And it's one of those things where it's like men think that the most obvious thing is the 56 00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:52,920 solution. 57 00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:56,880 The solution was, well, if I just change my environment, if I get out of the bad relationship, 58 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:59,080 it's going to heal everything. 59 00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:00,080 But it didn't, right? 60 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,520 Because wherever you go, you go with you. 61 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:05,240 I still had all my own stuff that I hadn't dealt with. 62 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:07,880 I'm like, okay, well then maybe I'll work on some strategies or tactics. 63 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:11,900 So I'm going to try to build a business or I'm going to try to go to the gym. 64 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,800 What I found out though, and this is actually what transformed it for me. 65 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:17,880 It was like, I told you it was 3 a.m. and I'm figuring this out. 66 00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:23,440 I realized that every problem in my life came down to either a decision that I had made 67 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:25,280 or failed to make. 68 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:30,520 So a decision that either to stay or the decision to not set a boundary. 69 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:34,960 And then I said, okay, well, every decision that I've made or failed to make is because 70 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:35,960 of my thought process. 71 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:38,340 And I go, well, where does that come from? 72 00:03:38,340 --> 00:03:41,880 That comes from my conditioning, from how I grew up. 73 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:44,000 And I go, okay, well then so what is conditioning? 74 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,720 And I go, oh my God. 75 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:48,320 It's what I believe I am. 76 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:53,640 I go, everything in my life, I might not have liked it, but at some level, I believe that's 77 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:57,360 either what I deserve or that's how I'm identified. 78 00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:59,520 And so I realized I go, you don't get what you want. 79 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:01,000 You get what you believe. 80 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,000 I'll say it again. 81 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,000 You don't get what you want. 82 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:07,480 You get who you believe you are and you get what you believe that you deserve. 83 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:11,400 And so what I did was I go, it's not about changing my environment. 84 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:16,040 It's not about tactics or strategy or trying to get the latest magic bullet fix or something 85 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:17,040 like that. 86 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:21,480 I need to literally change my self-concept and what I believe myself to be. 87 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:25,880 And if I can get a handle on that, everything will change almost by osmosis. 88 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:31,200 And when I really got a handle on that, what happened was I still had to do the work. 89 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:32,400 I still had to go to the gym. 90 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:34,600 I still had to start a business and things like that. 91 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:39,880 But because the perception, the identity had changed, everything that used to be like pushing 92 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:43,000 a boulder up a hill was suddenly very easy. 93 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:46,040 And I was able to get out of debt very, very quickly. 94 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:47,040 I was able to turn around. 95 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:48,760 I'm in a different relationship. 96 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:51,840 I turned around that aspect of my life. 97 00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:52,840 My business was doing great. 98 00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:57,440 I'm doing six figures again in a different business helping men. 99 00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:02,480 But everybody focused on the tactics and the strategies and what's the cool thing of the 100 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:07,520 day when it's really the principles and the energy behind it which makes a difference. 101 00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:08,520 I love that. 102 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:12,800 There's so many principles of wisdom that you talked about on that path and that journey 103 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:15,160 to uncover your next levels. 104 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:17,960 I'll add a little color commentating to it. 105 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:21,600 New perspective and you feel free to challenge it. 106 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:25,080 The process of growth is to mathematicians, right? 107 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:27,720 Writing on chalkboards and realizing, oh, wait, his formula. 108 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:29,360 Oh, his formula. 109 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:30,520 You get to share that stuff. 110 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:34,240 So Jared, one of the stories that came to mind as you talked about that that I think 111 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:38,800 is often overlooked in the coaching world though is the story of Job. 112 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:44,120 Now granted, I believe the story and happen to have that belief set. 113 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:50,280 But with Job, here's this man that was deemed perfect who all the variables in his life 114 00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:51,280 were correct. 115 00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:52,280 He was following the principles. 116 00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:55,840 He was doing the tactics, doing the strategies, doing everything that he needed to and yet 117 00:05:55,840 --> 00:06:03,080 even still everything in his life that was outside of his internal control was going 118 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:05,080 completely south. 119 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:10,040 And when his wife said, why don't you just curse God and die? 120 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:12,320 And basically all his friends said, hey, this is all your fault. 121 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:14,840 You're the bad guy in this situation. 122 00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:19,120 He came back and he said, God giveth, God taketh away. 123 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:25,440 And I'm not going to give up on my internal commitment to who I am even though the external 124 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:31,400 is not showcasing the results, so to speak, that the world can easily judge and say, oh, 125 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:32,400 man, that guy's awesome. 126 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:33,680 Look at what he's done. 127 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:39,320 So how does if that maybe you believe the story is a myth, but my question for you is 128 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:50,160 how does your process align with that or is it truly, no, if you do A, B will happen? 129 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,720 It's not if you do A, B will happen. 130 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:57,920 I've had to reverse engineer this because as I was doing it, it's like unconscious competence. 131 00:06:57,920 --> 00:06:59,360 I'm just doing it. 132 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:04,200 And now that I've had the benefit of some time away on the other side of it, I'm able 133 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:05,760 to look back at it with a fresh set of eyes. 134 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,040 I'm like, well, what really made the difference? 135 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:12,000 And the one thing that made a difference in all of it was I had a tremendous amount of 136 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:17,200 purpose and you can call it faith, right? 137 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:19,960 It's not necessarily a faith in a particular religion or anything. 138 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:24,400 I just believe faith has a definition, it's action and a belief. 139 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,120 There you go. 140 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:32,960 So what I came to was I somehow I adopted at a very early age, everything for some reason 141 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:34,400 is happening for my highest benefit. 142 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:35,960 What can I learn from this? 143 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:41,040 And I had a purpose and even since I was a child, my purpose was how can I help people? 144 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:42,780 How can I serve people? 145 00:07:42,780 --> 00:07:48,040 And even when everything was falling apart, the question was how can I use this to help 146 00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:49,120 other people? 147 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,400 So I created a framework. 148 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:52,400 It's a framework, right? 149 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:54,920 Like everybody has a framework, but I'm just sharing with you mine. 150 00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:56,440 It's been useful for me. 151 00:07:56,440 --> 00:08:01,240 I call it the seven levels of self mastery and everything is important on this list. 152 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:05,760 And what I've noticed is the head of the list tends to pull the train. 153 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:09,920 And so what it is, is number one above all is your purpose or your mission, your spiritual 154 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:10,920 vision, right? 155 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:16,440 I'm going to have you pause and reveal this on the full show as well, because this is 156 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:17,440 fantastic. 157 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:19,240 I definitely want to hear the framework. 158 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:22,320 They're super important for the sake of segments, though. 159 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,720 We're going to put a pin in that one. 160 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:27,640 I do want to, I might tie these things together. 161 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:34,680 So if we look at, if we go back and we look at the story behind your why, and I still 162 00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:39,400 want to tie it back to this angle though. 163 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:42,040 Your why's, you have a lot of them, I can tell that. 164 00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:43,040 You're super deep. 165 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:47,000 And that's a huge thing because you got a structured set of reasons and purposes for 166 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,240 why you do things. 167 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:53,480 So as you think about the stories behind it that have propelled you to where you are, 168 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:58,160 I'm still going to tie that back to that question of, okay, so you've got these principles that 169 00:08:58,160 --> 00:08:59,640 you're now, you've now gravitated. 170 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,240 You've got your purpose. 171 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:08,280 If all of the, if all of the accolades and all of the life accomplishments, the byproducts, 172 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:13,840 the variables that you associate with the effort and the work that you put in, were 173 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:22,120 not happening, would you still have your commitment to stay focused on doing the right things, 174 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:23,120 so to speak? 175 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:24,720 Where would you take that? 176 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:30,160 Yeah, because I think one of my number one values is congruency. 177 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:34,800 And for me, the reason why I even tried to improve my life in the first place was because 178 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:40,360 I knew there was a version of me as a man, like not an accolade or a thing, but my own 179 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:43,720 inner potential and my own blocks and barriers. 180 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:45,840 And so it's called self mastery for men. 181 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:47,700 It's because I did it for myself. 182 00:09:47,700 --> 00:09:49,880 It's like, I know there's a version of me. 183 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,000 How do I get that out? 184 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:55,120 And it's all about potential and self actualization, really. 185 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:58,080 So it doesn't, I really don't, I don't know if you can tell by my energy. 186 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:03,880 I don't care about accolades or, or esteem or massive outwardly success. 187 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:06,240 You need that, especially in the world today. 188 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:10,080 But for me, this has all been an inward journey of just discovery and doing the right thing 189 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:12,040 and congruence and being true to your word. 190 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:16,400 I think what's cool about what you said is, and I'm with you on this, it doesn't actually 191 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:19,040 matter if I can tell or not, right? 192 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:22,080 It matters that you were there with that. 193 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,800 And at the same time, that's why I ask you hard questions. 194 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:26,800 Cause I'm like, this guy's got it. 195 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:32,520 So I'm making this a little deeper than most people because you're, I'm like, I want to 196 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:38,280 eat into the very best of what Jared has to offer and you're crushing it for me. 197 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:39,800 So thank you for teaching me a lot. 198 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:40,800 You're welcome. 199 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:41,800 And thank you. 200 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:44,600 And you mentioned the story of Joe about a friend of mine. 201 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:45,600 He's awesome. 202 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,000 He goes, you know, be careful what you wish for it. 203 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,120 Cause you literally, you will literally get it. 204 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:50,720 And he said that in a good way though. 205 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:53,920 And I remember cause you mentioned Tony Robbins, you mentioned Job. 206 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:55,760 I was at a Tony Robbins seminar. 207 00:10:55,760 --> 00:11:01,060 It might've been 2017 or 16 and my life was going well. 208 00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:02,200 You know, I had a good business. 209 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:03,520 I was still married. 210 00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:05,560 The woman I was married to was my college sweetheart. 211 00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:07,160 It wasn't perfect, but things were good. 212 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,320 I'm like, man, things are really good. 213 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:10,320 What's the next level? 214 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:12,600 And like, you know what, man, Tony's on stage. 215 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:14,040 He seems like he has his act together. 216 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,840 I want mastery at that level. 217 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:17,000 That'd be awesome, right? 218 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:21,320 And I just thought it would be you learn and grow and the universe is like, Hey, congratulations. 219 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:23,640 Everything's falling apart and now you have to figure it out. 220 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:27,880 But I would have never gotten to the path I'm on now had none of that stuff happened. 221 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:33,520 So I always look, you can only connect the dots looking backwards sometimes. 222 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:35,760 And I would have never been here if none of that stuff happened. 223 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:37,080 I look at it that way. 224 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:38,400 Super, super well said. 225 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,400 Tony Robbins, again, 2017. 226 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:44,960 That's when I watched I Am Not Your Guru. 227 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,080 I watched it with a notebook and took notes. 228 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:53,000 And one of the most important notes I wrote in there was a goal to be the best husband 229 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:56,600 I possibly could be the best I could at that. 230 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:57,600 And I hadn't done that before. 231 00:11:57,600 --> 00:12:00,240 I mean, I had been the best father. 232 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:04,880 I had been a good husband, maybe even a great, but not the best I could. 233 00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:06,240 And he inspired that. 234 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:11,980 And it led to me realizing how I could be a better leader in all my relationships and 235 00:12:11,980 --> 00:12:13,200 show up the right way. 236 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,360 So huge shout out to that grateful to hear that you've been involved. 237 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,680 I only watched the Netflix version of it. 238 00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:20,820 You've been involved in a much deeper level. 239 00:12:20,820 --> 00:12:22,640 So I can really appreciate that. 240 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:26,080 We're going to go to a couple more questions. 241 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:32,280 One, where are you going with your vision from here? 242 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:37,600 Where I'm going is I want to help as many men as possible transform their lives in a 243 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:39,560 positive way. 244 00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:43,720 With masculinity, there's like two camps right now. 245 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:48,000 It's like people that are super, super nice guys, and they've kind of abdicated their 246 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,000 power. 247 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:55,800 But then there's the pendulum where it's that goes super hyper alpha masculine and uncaring. 248 00:12:55,800 --> 00:13:00,600 So what I've discovered is if you can integrate that, you got to have both a little bit of 249 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:03,520 a backbone and you got to have your heart online at the same time. 250 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:09,480 And so I'm all about helping men authentically become their masculine self, not for power 251 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:14,000 or but so they can have internal power in a healthy way. 252 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:17,960 And then not only that, but I want to really help people set free from their own perceived 253 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,120 limitations. 254 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:24,920 Because of my own limitations in the past, I've had to discover the most rapid ways of 255 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:26,900 helping somebody overcome them. 256 00:13:26,900 --> 00:13:30,920 I've developed a process that's called a breakthrough session. 257 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:34,680 It can really help somebody get rid of a lot of negative conditioning in a very short amount 258 00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:35,680 of time. 259 00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:36,760 So I help men with that. 260 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:39,440 I've been getting more speaking opportunities. 261 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:44,040 I've spoken for Tony, which is a full circle moment. 262 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,200 Thank you, man. 263 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:52,400 When I was in my parents condo 3am, I'm like, one day I'm going to go from where I am now 264 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:54,840 to maybe I'll speak on stage for Tony one day. 265 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:55,840 And it actually happened. 266 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:59,880 And I was like, oh my god, this is really happening, which is nuts. 267 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,160 And so I'm getting a few more of those. 268 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:05,280 And so I just want to start to build the vision even more and flesh it out and help even more 269 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:08,800 people and bring it to a much, much larger scale. 270 00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:09,800 That's awesome. 271 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:13,160 Do you have a goal for being on the show? 272 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:19,800 The goal is to awareness, put myself out there, share with people, share my story, hopefully 273 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:23,240 inspire some people, make connections with you. 274 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:25,360 You know, Joe, Joe's a great guy. 275 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:26,360 Joe's a connector. 276 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:28,200 It's a skill that I don't necessarily have. 277 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,200 I'm more of a. 278 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,920 I'm out to results for Joe.com. 279 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:31,920 Joe gets that guy. 280 00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:32,920 Yeah, amazing. 281 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:33,920 Yeah. 282 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:34,920 Yeah. 283 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:36,920 So I mean, Joe is he's a connector. 284 00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:39,200 And it's not necessarily a skill that comes easily for me. 285 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:43,240 So I'm looking forward to, you know, getting to know you better and opportunities that 286 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:44,720 come from it and so on. 287 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:48,040 Oh, man, Jared, I might fire hose you a little too much. 288 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:51,360 I am a connector through and through that is my super power. 289 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:54,360 So let's yeah, feel free to leverage that. 290 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:57,040 All of you listening to this to same thing. 291 00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:59,360 I love connecting great people. 292 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:00,360 That's what I like. 293 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:01,360 Oh, cool. 294 00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:02,360 You can be great with this person. 295 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,080 And I hope things come of it. 296 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:06,080 So we're going to dive into. 297 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:10,920 If that was a segment for the show, I was telling you that me and you personally. 298 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:11,920 Right. 299 00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:14,960 But if you wanted to give me an answer for the show, I'd have to give you an answer for 300 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:15,960 the show. 301 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:20,920 Oh, well, I mean, that's I think it's great how it was for the show. 302 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:21,920 You're cool. 303 00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:22,920 You're cool with that? 304 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:23,920 Yeah, totally. 305 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:24,920 OK. 306 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:25,920 Yeah. 307 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:27,880 Anytime the little prompts on there, we're going to use all those segments as their own 308 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:28,880 podcasts. 309 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:29,880 OK. 310 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:32,400 We literally have already filmed five or six podcast episodes. 311 00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:33,400 OK, cool. 312 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,880 So we're going to go to the next one. 313 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:36,600 This is the last one. 314 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:37,800 Double headed question. 315 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,600 Feel free to hit back. 316 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:42,680 This question is obviously leading the witness. 317 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:45,360 And therefore, if you don't agree with it, let us know. 318 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:53,920 Why do leaders hide from funding their visions and how can leaders lean into funding the 319 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,440 vision? 320 00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:59,640 Why do they hide from funding their vision? 321 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:00,920 Number one would be uncertainty. 322 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:03,840 Number two would be lack of faith. 323 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:06,960 They talked about identity. 324 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:10,980 You have a purpose and a vision, which is strong. 325 00:16:10,980 --> 00:16:14,600 But if you don't believe you're the person that can fulfill it, you won't do it. 326 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:15,600 There'll be hesitation. 327 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:16,600 There'll be procrastination. 328 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:17,760 You won't have faith in it. 329 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:19,320 You won't put money there. 330 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:20,940 And so people, they do affirmations. 331 00:16:20,940 --> 00:16:22,920 And I believe this and I believe that. 332 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:25,200 And they try to hype themselves up. 333 00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:29,420 But no matter how much you hype yourself up, if you don't internally identify as the person 334 00:16:29,420 --> 00:16:32,200 that can fulfill the vision, you're not going to. 335 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,200 Right. 336 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,800 So I think a lot of it is just it's fear. 337 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:37,660 It's uncertainty. 338 00:16:37,660 --> 00:16:39,080 It's not having enough faith in themselves. 339 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,440 It's not having the internal identity. 340 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:43,240 And how can people overcome that? 341 00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:45,640 I just talked with another coach. 342 00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:50,040 Ironically enough, like I'm a coach that helps men and coaches enjoy working with me because 343 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:51,640 they feel like I get it. 344 00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:54,400 And I had a coach and he works for a prestigious coaching company. 345 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:55,960 And he's like, I want to work with you. 346 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:58,120 I'm going to pay in full right there. 347 00:16:58,120 --> 00:16:59,480 I didn't even have a sales call with him. 348 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:00,480 He just goes. 349 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:01,480 I'm going to say real quick. 350 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:02,480 There's actually no irony in that. 351 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:05,240 LeBron James has like 40 coaches. 352 00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:09,040 So I hear people say, I don't I already have a coach. 353 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:13,520 I'm like, oh, you have somebody who's toxically hanging on to you for dear life. 354 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:14,520 We need lots of coaches. 355 00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:15,520 So good. 356 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:16,520 Keep going. 357 00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:18,120 You're the best in the world. 358 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,520 And coaches have coaches. 359 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:23,240 So he saw me on social media. 360 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:26,100 He knew what the offer was. 361 00:17:26,100 --> 00:17:31,640 He sent me a message on Facebook like maybe three months ago. 362 00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:33,000 He goes, I'm in. 363 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,320 Let me save money. 364 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,600 He called me today, paid in full. 365 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,680 I never had a full enrollment call with him. 366 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:39,680 Nothing. 367 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:42,920 And I seriously I asked him, I go, what was it that made you decide to do? 368 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:44,080 I go, you'd be surprised, man. 369 00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:47,960 A lot of people say that they want to do stuff, but they wait six months a year. 370 00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:48,960 They never do it. 371 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:49,960 I go, why? 372 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:50,960 Why now? 373 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:52,440 And he's like, I'm booked up until August. 374 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:54,900 I'm going to book you now for August. 375 00:17:54,900 --> 00:17:55,900 So that way it's in. 376 00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:57,200 And I'm like, what? 377 00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:58,320 Tell me your thought process here. 378 00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:03,800 He goes, well, I'm a coach and I know the number one thing in my clients is resistance 379 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,960 and they put stuff off and they don't do it. 380 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:11,000 And he goes, you end up manifesting or mirroring in your clients what you don't heal in yourself. 381 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:14,440 He goes, if I'm going to expect people to overcome their limitations, limiting beliefs, 382 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:18,400 I have to take bold action myself and schedule things and get over my resistance. 383 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:19,400 So I'm paying you now. 384 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,400 And I'm like, wow, that's amazing. 385 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:22,800 It was a lesson for me. 386 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:23,800 Super wise. 387 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:24,800 Yeah. 388 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:25,800 Yeah. 389 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,960 So that just happened this morning too. 390 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:29,920 So it's an ironic question. 391 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:33,240 So it's one of those things where you go first, you do it scared. 392 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:37,320 There's a situation one time I told you previously I had a video production business. 393 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:42,280 Before I had the video production business, I worked minimum wage at a radio station doing 394 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:43,280 video. 395 00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:45,120 So I was completely redundant and unnecessary. 396 00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:47,560 But I would video the guests when they came in. 397 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,680 I got married to my ex that I told you about. 398 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:50,960 I went on my honeymoon for a week. 399 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:51,960 I came back. 400 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:54,360 They realized that I was redundant because I wasn't there and they fired me after my 401 00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:55,800 honeymoon. 402 00:18:55,800 --> 00:19:00,880 And so I sent out my resume to a whole bunch of different companies and video production 403 00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:02,360 companies. 404 00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:06,360 The one that got back to me was an international MMA production company where I was going to 405 00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:07,640 be the head of production. 406 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:13,520 It was way above my pay grade as a small scale local videographer for a radio station. 407 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,400 And I was terrified. 408 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:20,240 And I remember I had a two bedroom loft apartment with vaulted ceilings. 409 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:23,560 And I'm standing in one room, but I can see the refrigerator. 410 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:24,900 And I got the call. 411 00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:26,840 And everything slows down. 412 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:29,560 And I go, this is way above my pay grade here. 413 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:32,800 But then I go, they're hiring a head of production. 414 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,960 Either I do it or someone else is going to do it. 415 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:36,800 And I'm going to see this on TV. 416 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:41,840 If I see this on TV, I'm going to be complaining I could have done it better as an ego thing. 417 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:45,120 I go, so I'm just going to do this and do it. 418 00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:47,120 And I'll figure it out on the way down. 419 00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:48,720 And it made a principle for me. 420 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:52,800 I go, anytime I'm in a situation and it's scary, but it's an opportunity and it's for 421 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,840 my best good and it offers a lot of growth. 422 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:59,480 Even if I don't know how to do it, I take it because I'll figure it out. 423 00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:00,600 I love that. 424 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:04,160 And those of you listening in, this is not an uncommon reality. 425 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:08,080 This is a super common reality for those who make success happen. 426 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:13,240 When I was at my first job in Austin, when I moved as a married man with Spoon Chapman, 427 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:18,180 and they asked me in the interview, I was going to do Spanish surveys for evaluating 428 00:20:18,180 --> 00:20:19,880 benefits packages. 429 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,200 And she said, do you know how to do PowerPoints? 430 00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,360 I need somebody to do this. 431 00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:26,600 And I said yes. 432 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:31,560 And I went home to my wife and I said, how do you make a PowerPoint? 433 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:34,280 So she taught me right there on the spot how to do it. 434 00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:35,280 I knew what it was. 435 00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:37,080 I just didn't know if I knew. 436 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:38,080 And I knew I could figure it out. 437 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:40,800 So I spent the whole night learning PowerPoint. 438 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:47,000 And while that was just for a mediocre job that I may have made minimum wage part time, 439 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:51,320 it's the principle that has driven me to get to where I don't know how to do a podcast. 440 00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:52,320 I just did it. 441 00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:53,880 You know, let's just make it happen. 442 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,720 So leaning in, it was a fantastic example, Jared. 443 00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:57,720 Thank you for that. 444 00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:58,720 Thank you for being here today. 445 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:01,040 I'm really happy that you tuned in to Vision Pros Live. 446 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:05,800 I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions as these episodes continue to move forward. 447 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:07,440 This is going to get more and more fun. 448 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:09,520 We'll have more and more engagement as well. 449 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,860 We'll invite people to participate in the show. 450 00:21:11,860 --> 00:21:14,120 And thank you for giving us your time and attention. 451 00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:21,960 Have an excellent time building out your vision and becoming a Vision Pro yourself.