Tell me how you got started.
Good question.
How did I get started?
Well, the relationship coaching material that I can focus on right now,
I really got started with in the past couple of years on the back of doing executive coaching.
So, and that was on the back of working in behavioral science,
and that was on the back of doing a master's degree in gender dynamics,
and really interested in the psychology of people.
And that was on the back of doing my first coaching qualification like 17 years ago.
So I've kind of been in this space for a long time.
And yeah, and I kind of academically and professionally have always been interested in psychology,
in high performance, in helping people heal and overcome their issues and feel better and blah, blah, blah.
On a personal level, my own journey has been one of doing a lot of therapy and retreats
and kind of being in that personal development space.
But then finding myself in my early 30s, calling off my first engagement
and realizing that actually didn't matter how much I had done of that personal development.
I still didn't know how to have a healthy relationship.
And once I put the journey together, I realized, okay, this is something I really should work on.
Meditating isn't going to fix it.
And when I began to educate myself on how to have a healthy relationship,
and I really began to understand the psychology of relating and attachment theory
and call wounds and all of this stuff, it opened up a whole new world to me.
I then met my now husband.
And as I was doing the executive coaching, I began to kind of explore
where the stress and anxiety for my clients was coming from.
And I realized that they were struggling with their relationships too.
And that's ultimately what led me to kind of putting two and two together
and realizing, well, this is something I'm really passionate about,
something I've done a lot of work in.
This is what people are struggling with.
So hence, I kind of became the relationship case, and here I am.
That is, I love it. I love it.
And what's so interesting about this is that you had to take this journey
and have your own experiences in order to be able to be right in yourself to help someone else.
But without that journey, could you be where you are today?
So I love how you're explaining that the life pattern led you here pretty much.
Yeah.
So you're a love coach? Is that what it is?
I am indeed. I am indeed.
I was actually telling a client of mine today how much I resisted that.
Like I resisted, I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that.
I went to Oxford. Like, how can this be?
But what I realized is that it doesn't matter what I think,
it doesn't matter what I call myself, what matters is what I do
and how I can help clients, how I can serve them.
And if that's the language that people get, then so be it.
Yeah. And love, I was just speaking with not only a friend of mine,
but Jackson, who is a part of this, and I was telling him like, love is an innate need.
That is an innate need. And a lot of people say that they want it,
but they're not actually understanding that it's a need to get through life.
You know, you need to love and you need to love someone.
So it's funny, not funny per se, how you say you're working with executives
because their jobs are usually very high demanding.
And if their home life is stagnant or lacking, it can only do a snowball, right?
You either snowball into the high effects of overworking
and pretty much now you have some health issues or underperformance
and no one really knows that. They just see you in the dynamics of the work life
when you really love your lovesick, you know?
Yeah, yeah. And what we know from looking at data and research is that
people who are struggling in the home life, right, when you come home,
if your relationship isn't working out, your stress levels are going to be higher,
you're not going to sleep as well, your focus is going to be down,
and ultimately your self-esteem is going to be being eroded,
which actually takes up a lot of bandwidth, a lot of mental bandwidth.
And so people who have done the inner work and overcome their unconscious blocks
and worked on their inner land state, they go on to actually have better careers
and earn more money because they have more mental bandwidth.
They have more free real estate to focus on the things, right?
And so to me it's kind of a no-brainer.
And when I realised that there wasn't, I know for myself,
when I was looking for relationship coaches to help me in my previous engagement,
and I was working 10-hour days, which isn't even that much,
but it's like 10-hour days, and I was really busy and I was travelling a lot.
And the feedback as a female that I got from, I can count,
like so many relationship coaches, mainly men, was that, and actually women too,
was that I needed to soften, I needed to cool my ambition,
and I needed to actually focus on being more of a nurturing and nourishing
and loving presence, which don't get me wrong, I believe in being a loving presence,
but it was a really kind of like shaming undercurrent of narrative of,
no, no, no, no, your ambition and your career is not going to work for this relationship.
You have to change something here.
And I don't believe that because I've yet to see that being the solution,
because the solution is actually doing the inner landscape work
and clearing out the stuff that's blocking you, right?
It's not about the job that you're doing.
It's not about the hours that you're working.
You can work long hours and be an entrepreneur.
You can have a C-suite role and have a wonderful relationship.
They're not mutually exclusive.
I really didn't like that narrative, and that's when I realized there's not many people
solving for relationship and love with having a high-powered or career-driven kind of mentality.
Yeah.
I mean, that makes all the sense in the world, though.
It's almost like you can't, and it's so funny, I hear cars behind you,
and then I know that my trash is coming. If the trash can is full,
how are you supposed to put anything else in it, right?
And that's like our body and our minds.
If it's all full of things that need to be taken away,
where are we going to add to it and how can we add to it?
So it's the amazing part of understanding, like you said, you have all these,
it's the inner working first in order to get the outer together.
I'm psyched because I love psychology. I think people are in art, right?
You see that art where it just flashes all over the place, and to someone, it is most beautiful,
and I think that's the way people are.
You have flashes, these beautiful individuals, and they're all on their own.
So as you are doing this and you've created this, I guess, entrepreneurship and this business,
where does your vision go from here? I mean, you started out, but where's your vision going?
What does that look like?
My vision is to keep growing the business. I obviously am one person, right?
So I'm trying to create ways of reaching more people and impacting more people and helping more people,
whether that's through the group work that I do now, creating more accessible offers,
or I've launched my podcast. So really it's about reach and serving more people.
And from a kind of personal goal, point of view, like really, my husband's been helping me with the business
for the past coming up to two years now for various reasons.
And I would love to get a place where I can flip the table and help him with his own vision, right?
Where I can be kind of the seed investor, but help him with that and help him go and build his own dream
because he's been very kind of devoted to helping me with mine. So I'm very grateful for that.
Thank you for being here today. I'm really happy that you tuned in to Vision Pros Live.
I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions as these episodes continue to move forward.
This is going to get more and more fun. We'll have more and more engagement as well.
We'll invite people to participate in the show. And thank you for giving us your time and attention.
And I hope you have an excellent time building out your vision and becoming a Vision Pro yourself.