1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,000 Tell me how you got started. 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,000 Good question. 3 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:07,000 How did I get started? 4 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:12,000 Well, the relationship coaching material that I can focus on right now, 5 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:17,000 I really got started with in the past couple of years on the back of doing executive coaching. 6 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:20,000 So, and that was on the back of working in behavioral science, 7 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:25,000 and that was on the back of doing a master's degree in gender dynamics, 8 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,000 and really interested in the psychology of people. 9 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:33,000 And that was on the back of doing my first coaching qualification like 17 years ago. 10 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,000 So I've kind of been in this space for a long time. 11 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:41,000 And yeah, and I kind of academically and professionally have always been interested in psychology, 12 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:49,000 in high performance, in helping people heal and overcome their issues and feel better and blah, blah, blah. 13 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:56,000 On a personal level, my own journey has been one of doing a lot of therapy and retreats 14 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,000 and kind of being in that personal development space. 15 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:03,000 But then finding myself in my early 30s, calling off my first engagement 16 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:08,000 and realizing that actually didn't matter how much I had done of that personal development. 17 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:11,000 I still didn't know how to have a healthy relationship. 18 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:16,000 And once I put the journey together, I realized, okay, this is something I really should work on. 19 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:18,000 Meditating isn't going to fix it. 20 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:22,000 And when I began to educate myself on how to have a healthy relationship, 21 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:27,000 and I really began to understand the psychology of relating and attachment theory 22 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:31,000 and call wounds and all of this stuff, it opened up a whole new world to me. 23 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:33,000 I then met my now husband. 24 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:38,000 And as I was doing the executive coaching, I began to kind of explore 25 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:41,000 where the stress and anxiety for my clients was coming from. 26 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:45,000 And I realized that they were struggling with their relationships too. 27 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:48,000 And that's ultimately what led me to kind of putting two and two together 28 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,000 and realizing, well, this is something I'm really passionate about, 29 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,000 something I've done a lot of work in. 30 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,000 This is what people are struggling with. 31 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:58,000 So hence, I kind of became the relationship case, and here I am. 32 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:01,000 That is, I love it. I love it. 33 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:06,000 And what's so interesting about this is that you had to take this journey 34 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:12,000 and have your own experiences in order to be able to be right in yourself to help someone else. 35 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:17,000 But without that journey, could you be where you are today? 36 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:23,000 So I love how you're explaining that the life pattern led you here pretty much. 37 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,000 Yeah. 38 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:28,000 So you're a love coach? Is that what it is? 39 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,000 I am indeed. I am indeed. 40 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:34,000 I was actually telling a client of mine today how much I resisted that. 41 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:37,000 Like I resisted, I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. 42 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,000 I went to Oxford. Like, how can this be? 43 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:43,000 But what I realized is that it doesn't matter what I think, 44 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:47,000 it doesn't matter what I call myself, what matters is what I do 45 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:50,000 and how I can help clients, how I can serve them. 46 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:54,000 And if that's the language that people get, then so be it. 47 00:02:54,000 --> 00:03:01,000 Yeah. And love, I was just speaking with not only a friend of mine, 48 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:11,000 but Jackson, who is a part of this, and I was telling him like, love is an innate need. 49 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:15,000 That is an innate need. And a lot of people say that they want it, 50 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:19,000 but they're not actually understanding that it's a need to get through life. 51 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:23,000 You know, you need to love and you need to love someone. 52 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:28,000 So it's funny, not funny per se, how you say you're working with executives 53 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:35,000 because their jobs are usually very high demanding. 54 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:44,000 And if their home life is stagnant or lacking, it can only do a snowball, right? 55 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:48,000 You either snowball into the high effects of overworking 56 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:54,000 and pretty much now you have some health issues or underperformance 57 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:58,000 and no one really knows that. They just see you in the dynamics of the work life 58 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:02,000 when you really love your lovesick, you know? 59 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:09,000 Yeah, yeah. And what we know from looking at data and research is that 60 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:14,000 people who are struggling in the home life, right, when you come home, 61 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:19,000 if your relationship isn't working out, your stress levels are going to be higher, 62 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,000 you're not going to sleep as well, your focus is going to be down, 63 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:24,000 and ultimately your self-esteem is going to be being eroded, 64 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:27,000 which actually takes up a lot of bandwidth, a lot of mental bandwidth. 65 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:32,000 And so people who have done the inner work and overcome their unconscious blocks 66 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:38,000 and worked on their inner land state, they go on to actually have better careers 67 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:41,000 and earn more money because they have more mental bandwidth. 68 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:45,000 They have more free real estate to focus on the things, right? 69 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,000 And so to me it's kind of a no-brainer. 70 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:50,000 And when I realised that there wasn't, I know for myself, 71 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:54,000 when I was looking for relationship coaches to help me in my previous engagement, 72 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:57,000 and I was working 10-hour days, which isn't even that much, 73 00:04:57,000 --> 00:05:01,000 but it's like 10-hour days, and I was really busy and I was travelling a lot. 74 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:06,000 And the feedback as a female that I got from, I can count, 75 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:11,000 like so many relationship coaches, mainly men, was that, and actually women too, 76 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:14,000 was that I needed to soften, I needed to cool my ambition, 77 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:18,000 and I needed to actually focus on being more of a nurturing and nourishing 78 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:22,000 and loving presence, which don't get me wrong, I believe in being a loving presence, 79 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:27,000 but it was a really kind of like shaming undercurrent of narrative of, 80 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:31,000 no, no, no, no, your ambition and your career is not going to work for this relationship. 81 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,000 You have to change something here. 82 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:37,000 And I don't believe that because I've yet to see that being the solution, 83 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:40,000 because the solution is actually doing the inner landscape work 84 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,000 and clearing out the stuff that's blocking you, right? 85 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:45,000 It's not about the job that you're doing. 86 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,000 It's not about the hours that you're working. 87 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:50,000 You can work long hours and be an entrepreneur. 88 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:54,000 You can have a C-suite role and have a wonderful relationship. 89 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,000 They're not mutually exclusive. 90 00:05:56,000 --> 00:06:00,000 I really didn't like that narrative, and that's when I realized there's not many people 91 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:08,000 solving for relationship and love with having a high-powered or career-driven kind of mentality. 92 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,000 Yeah. 93 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,000 I mean, that makes all the sense in the world, though. 94 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:17,000 It's almost like you can't, and it's so funny, I hear cars behind you, 95 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:21,000 and then I know that my trash is coming. If the trash can is full, 96 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:24,000 how are you supposed to put anything else in it, right? 97 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,000 And that's like our body and our minds. 98 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:31,000 If it's all full of things that need to be taken away, 99 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:36,000 where are we going to add to it and how can we add to it? 100 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:42,000 So it's the amazing part of understanding, like you said, you have all these, 101 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:47,000 it's the inner working first in order to get the outer together. 102 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:54,000 I'm psyched because I love psychology. I think people are in art, right? 103 00:06:54,000 --> 00:07:00,000 You see that art where it just flashes all over the place, and to someone, it is most beautiful, 104 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,000 and I think that's the way people are. 105 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:07,000 You have flashes, these beautiful individuals, and they're all on their own. 106 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:16,000 So as you are doing this and you've created this, I guess, entrepreneurship and this business, 107 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:23,000 where does your vision go from here? I mean, you started out, but where's your vision going? 108 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,000 What does that look like? 109 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:33,000 My vision is to keep growing the business. I obviously am one person, right? 110 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:38,000 So I'm trying to create ways of reaching more people and impacting more people and helping more people, 111 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:44,000 whether that's through the group work that I do now, creating more accessible offers, 112 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:50,000 or I've launched my podcast. So really it's about reach and serving more people. 113 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:57,000 And from a kind of personal goal, point of view, like really, my husband's been helping me with the business 114 00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:01,000 for the past coming up to two years now for various reasons. 115 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:08,000 And I would love to get a place where I can flip the table and help him with his own vision, right? 116 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:16,000 Where I can be kind of the seed investor, but help him with that and help him go and build his own dream 117 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:22,000 because he's been very kind of devoted to helping me with mine. So I'm very grateful for that. 118 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:26,000 Thank you for being here today. I'm really happy that you tuned in to Vision Pros Live. 119 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:31,000 I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions as these episodes continue to move forward. 120 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:34,000 This is going to get more and more fun. We'll have more and more engagement as well. 121 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:39,000 We'll invite people to participate in the show. And thank you for giving us your time and attention. 122 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:57,000 And I hope you have an excellent time building out your vision and becoming a Vision Pro yourself.