Tell me about your vision.
My vision is to train as many people as I can
to know how to practice healthy boundaries.
Because as a psychotherapist, I've
seen so many people's lives wrecked because they're
on this game board of life, and they don't know how to play.
They don't understand the rules.
And when someone explains how boundaries work,
then it's like the clouds part, and the sun shines down,
and they finally get it.
So they don't have to be manipulated by others.
They don't have to be tethered to other people's expectations.
They can have the confidence to speak their thoughts
and not be scared to have those hard conversations.
It's very freeing and empowering.
And to be honest, I don't really see
how anybody can live a full, victorious life
without knowing how to practice healthy boundaries.
Can you tell me more about that?
Sure.
So if you think about boundaries as being twofold,
think of it in terms of yards.
Like you have your yard that you're responsible for.
In your yard is what you think, what you feel, and what you do.
Those belong to you, and you can change those things.
You're responsible for those things.
What's not in your yard, what is on the other side of the fence,
is what someone else thinks, what someone else feels,
and what someone else does.
Too often, what happens is people get those things reversed.
They do not take accountability for their own actions
and thoughts and feelings because they're embarrassed,
they're ashamed, they feel guilty,
and they try to run from those things.
And at the same time, they are uber-focused
on what their neighbors, meaning their friends,
their family, their coworkers, they're uber-focused
on what these other people are thinking about them,
what these other people are feeling,
what these other people are doing.
Like if these other people are holding a grudge against them,
they just, they can't, you know, they can't deal with it.
They take responsibility for that.
They're trying to manage someone else's anger.
They won't have the hard conversations
because they're terrified of the other person's anger.
They're trying to keep the peace, right?
That's impossible to keep someone else's peace
because their peace is technically in their brain,
which we have no control over.
So once people go and they approach life
knowing that they can have control over
what's in their own yard and they don't have to try to manage
or accept responsibility for someone else's feelings,
it's amazingly liberating and empowering.