1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,040 Tell me about your vision. 2 00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:06,160 My vision is to train as many people as I can 3 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:09,840 to know how to practice healthy boundaries. 4 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:11,760 Because as a psychotherapist, I've 5 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:16,120 seen so many people's lives wrecked because they're 6 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:20,120 on this game board of life, and they don't know how to play. 7 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:21,880 They don't understand the rules. 8 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:26,080 And when someone explains how boundaries work, 9 00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:29,280 then it's like the clouds part, and the sun shines down, 10 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:30,360 and they finally get it. 11 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:34,760 So they don't have to be manipulated by others. 12 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:38,480 They don't have to be tethered to other people's expectations. 13 00:00:38,480 --> 00:00:41,840 They can have the confidence to speak their thoughts 14 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:45,160 and not be scared to have those hard conversations. 15 00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:47,360 It's very freeing and empowering. 16 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:48,920 And to be honest, I don't really see 17 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:53,520 how anybody can live a full, victorious life 18 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:58,000 without knowing how to practice healthy boundaries. 19 00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,720 Can you tell me more about that? 20 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:00,720 Sure. 21 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:03,400 So if you think about boundaries as being twofold, 22 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,080 think of it in terms of yards. 23 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:08,400 Like you have your yard that you're responsible for. 24 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:13,120 In your yard is what you think, what you feel, and what you do. 25 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:15,600 Those belong to you, and you can change those things. 26 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:17,720 You're responsible for those things. 27 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:21,480 What's not in your yard, what is on the other side of the fence, 28 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:24,520 is what someone else thinks, what someone else feels, 29 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:27,280 and what someone else does. 30 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:30,880 Too often, what happens is people get those things reversed. 31 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:33,520 They do not take accountability for their own actions 32 00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:36,200 and thoughts and feelings because they're embarrassed, 33 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,160 they're ashamed, they feel guilty, 34 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:41,120 and they try to run from those things. 35 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:44,640 And at the same time, they are uber-focused 36 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:47,880 on what their neighbors, meaning their friends, 37 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:51,360 their family, their coworkers, they're uber-focused 38 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:54,120 on what these other people are thinking about them, 39 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:56,160 what these other people are feeling, 40 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:57,560 what these other people are doing. 41 00:01:57,560 --> 00:02:00,440 Like if these other people are holding a grudge against them, 42 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:03,200 they just, they can't, you know, they can't deal with it. 43 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:04,640 They take responsibility for that. 44 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:08,400 They're trying to manage someone else's anger. 45 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:10,120 They won't have the hard conversations 46 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,840 because they're terrified of the other person's anger. 47 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:16,000 They're trying to keep the peace, right? 48 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:19,920 That's impossible to keep someone else's peace 49 00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:23,760 because their peace is technically in their brain, 50 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:25,640 which we have no control over. 51 00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:28,520 So once people go and they approach life 52 00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:31,160 knowing that they can have control over 53 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:34,280 what's in their own yard and they don't have to try to manage 54 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:39,280 or accept responsibility for someone else's feelings, 55 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:56,280 it's amazingly liberating and empowering.