1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,220 We're going to dive into that even deeper, 2 00:00:03,220 --> 00:00:05,780 not just what's the story behind your why, 3 00:00:05,780 --> 00:00:08,900 but I'm going to pull from a little bit about what I heard 4 00:00:08,900 --> 00:00:11,740 earlier when you were telling me about your vision. 5 00:00:11,740 --> 00:00:15,720 You mentioned it took 50 years to realize 6 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:18,540 that you didn't have to follow these rules that society 7 00:00:18,540 --> 00:00:20,540 or life or family set. 8 00:00:20,540 --> 00:00:24,660 And you talked about the Stephen R. Covey book 9 00:00:24,660 --> 00:00:26,020 having an impact on you. 10 00:00:26,020 --> 00:00:30,020 And it sounds like it was somewhere before that 50 year mark. 11 00:00:30,020 --> 00:00:33,540 And then you've got this training with John Maxwell. 12 00:00:33,540 --> 00:00:37,060 And so I capture the reality that, OK, you're not 13 00:00:37,060 --> 00:00:39,140 throwing Stephen R. Covey's book under the bus. 14 00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:40,260 You learned some values. 15 00:00:40,260 --> 00:00:40,780 I know. 16 00:00:40,780 --> 00:00:41,820 Right, exactly. 17 00:00:41,820 --> 00:00:43,060 I still quote it. 18 00:00:43,060 --> 00:00:44,740 Yep, hang in there. 19 00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:45,980 So I can see that. 20 00:00:45,980 --> 00:00:48,300 And I imagine with the shift you've 21 00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:50,820 made through John Maxwell's program 22 00:00:50,820 --> 00:00:54,060 and really figuring out how to break 23 00:00:54,060 --> 00:00:59,180 free of superficial rules through your own life 24 00:00:59,180 --> 00:01:03,060 discoveries, you probably have a different type of appreciation 25 00:01:03,060 --> 00:01:06,540 as well for what you learned in the past. 26 00:01:06,540 --> 00:01:09,780 So I kind of want to hear the story behind why 27 00:01:09,780 --> 00:01:15,700 do you do what you do, starting from what was so, 28 00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:18,140 I don't know, I guess, what was so difficult 29 00:01:18,140 --> 00:01:19,820 about those first 50 years? 30 00:01:19,820 --> 00:01:21,740 Because I know other people probably 31 00:01:21,740 --> 00:01:25,100 were in that same type of boat or are in that same type of boat. 32 00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:28,500 And why is it so important for you to help 33 00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:31,180 other people get out of it? 34 00:01:31,180 --> 00:01:35,620 Well, I was raised in a Southern evangelical culture. 35 00:01:35,620 --> 00:01:37,700 And I'm still a pastor's wife. 36 00:01:37,700 --> 00:01:39,620 And so there's a lot of expectations 37 00:01:39,620 --> 00:01:40,660 that come with that. 38 00:01:40,660 --> 00:01:42,700 There are a lot of rules and regulations 39 00:01:42,700 --> 00:01:43,820 that come with that. 40 00:01:43,820 --> 00:01:48,900 And when I teach core values and when I help somebody understand 41 00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:51,860 their core values, I tell them to look all the way back. 42 00:01:51,860 --> 00:01:54,380 And when I look all the way back to even my mother saying, 43 00:01:54,380 --> 00:01:57,980 Andrea, you were the definition of the strong willed child, 44 00:01:57,980 --> 00:02:00,300 I'm like, well, looking back now, 45 00:02:00,300 --> 00:02:02,820 I know that my top core value is freedom of thought. 46 00:02:02,820 --> 00:02:06,500 And when somebody else is consistently telling me 47 00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:08,780 what to do and how to think and how to be, 48 00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:11,820 I look back and I say, that's where it all started. 49 00:02:11,820 --> 00:02:14,220 This is where the conflict started 50 00:02:14,220 --> 00:02:15,860 over my own core values. 51 00:02:15,860 --> 00:02:18,540 The problem is we want to fit in. 52 00:02:18,540 --> 00:02:20,660 We want to be accepted. 53 00:02:20,660 --> 00:02:23,220 We want to be a part of the group. 54 00:02:23,220 --> 00:02:26,220 And when that group is very clear and defined, 55 00:02:26,220 --> 00:02:28,940 it makes it, quote unquote, easy to fall 56 00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:33,860 into those rules and principles for this very defined group. 57 00:02:33,860 --> 00:02:37,540 And breaking away from that very defined group is difficult. 58 00:02:37,540 --> 00:02:39,460 I've not broken away from Christianity, 59 00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:43,140 but I'm just saying that's where some of that comes from. 60 00:02:43,140 --> 00:02:46,820 And I look back at there were specific times in my life. 61 00:02:46,820 --> 00:02:50,780 I say 30 years ago, I started my core values journey 62 00:02:50,780 --> 00:02:51,900 30 years ago. 63 00:02:51,900 --> 00:02:54,500 I have glimpses of when I would come up for air. 64 00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:57,020 And I look back now and I think, oh, I 65 00:02:57,020 --> 00:03:01,380 wish I had been able to pursue it then because I had come up 66 00:03:01,380 --> 00:03:03,100 above the fence or up above the water line. 67 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:06,940 I was able to see an idea of who I could have been. 68 00:03:06,940 --> 00:03:09,980 But it is so powerful, the conditioning 69 00:03:09,980 --> 00:03:13,380 that we have that pulls us back under or the fear 70 00:03:13,380 --> 00:03:15,580 that we have of stepping outside. 71 00:03:15,580 --> 00:03:16,860 I grew up in Seoul, Korea. 72 00:03:16,860 --> 00:03:21,100 And in the Asian culture, they have sayings like, 73 00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:22,700 and I think this is actually from Japan. 74 00:03:22,700 --> 00:03:24,940 It's like the tallest blade of grass gets cut first. 75 00:03:24,940 --> 00:03:27,340 So you don't want to stand out. 76 00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:28,700 You want to fit in. 77 00:03:28,700 --> 00:03:30,660 It's all about fitting in. 78 00:03:30,660 --> 00:03:34,540 And for me, looking at what I believed 79 00:03:34,540 --> 00:03:37,620 I was supposed to do, I just could not, 80 00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:40,060 even though I would have these glimpses, 81 00:03:40,060 --> 00:03:41,220 I would read a good book. 82 00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:45,300 And I've read personal growth books since I was 18. 83 00:03:45,300 --> 00:03:47,580 I mean, they started out as spiritual personal growth, 84 00:03:47,580 --> 00:03:49,780 but a lot of them were not necessarily 85 00:03:49,780 --> 00:03:51,220 spiritual personal growth. 86 00:03:51,220 --> 00:03:54,940 And so this is a battle or a journey 87 00:03:54,940 --> 00:03:57,500 that I've been on a really, really long time. 88 00:03:57,500 --> 00:04:02,980 And I think that not recognizing that I had the authority 89 00:04:02,980 --> 00:04:06,980 to be able to say, this is who I am and it's OK, 90 00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:10,980 while I watched other friends my same age do that, 91 00:04:10,980 --> 00:04:15,180 and I was insanely jealous at 18 or at 35 92 00:04:15,180 --> 00:04:16,500 or at 40. 93 00:04:16,500 --> 00:04:18,900 And finally, and the thing that was really 94 00:04:18,900 --> 00:04:22,020 the big catalyst at 50 for me was that I lost my mom 95 00:04:22,020 --> 00:04:23,540 to breast cancer. 96 00:04:23,540 --> 00:04:28,780 And so sometimes it takes a really big emotional thing 97 00:04:28,780 --> 00:04:32,740 to put us in that crucible where we have the opportunity 98 00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:36,060 to say, all right, it's now more difficult 99 00:04:36,060 --> 00:04:39,860 to continue doing all that other stuff than to actually make 100 00:04:39,860 --> 00:04:41,460 the changes. 101 00:04:41,460 --> 00:04:42,300 Wow. 102 00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:43,180 That's super deep. 103 00:04:43,180 --> 00:04:44,420 Thank you for sharing that. 104 00:04:44,420 --> 00:04:48,980 It's yeah, there's so many people out there 105 00:04:48,980 --> 00:04:52,580 who are looking for that path towards the freedom 106 00:04:52,580 --> 00:04:55,740 from the rules, the ability to be self 107 00:04:55,740 --> 00:04:57,020 and discover their identity. 108 00:04:57,020 --> 00:05:15,220 So I appreciate you sharing that so openly.