How did you get started in that field? Where were your first steps at?
Well, this is kind of interesting. So I didn't have a confidence problem. I was always like,
oh, yeah, I can figure that out. I can do that. What I had was a self worth problem.
So a lot of times people struggle with self worth, but they think it's a confidence problem.
So I teach confidence completely different because I believe that confidence is the skill
set that you develop, just like learning how to ride a bike. So I kind of fell into it.
I had an international wholesale home decor business. I know that's a mouthful.
And I started putting on entrepreneurial events for women. I just wanted to create a space where
I could encourage women to follow their passion. And as I was doing that, I was like, wow, I love
this more than my wholesale business. So I pivoted, I closed my business, I got certified as a life
coach. And as they say, the rest was history. Yeah. So I'm curious what your why was for starting.
What was your why whenever you first took these steps? Was it because you had a, not a confidence,
but a self worth issue. Was that just what you decided you needed to help other people with this?
Or what were those first steps? What was your why behind going in? Well, I think it was really
because I was an entrepreneur. I had had a very traumatic upbringing and I started to realize how
they call them in some circles, they might be referred to as adverse childhood events.
It's called ACEs or there's also trauma. It could even be say it's even a veteran that has had,
you know, the trauma of war, how these things show up in our life, how people get triggered and how
we start telling ourselves stories about our value and what we're capable of. So I started really
working on myself and paying attention to the things that would trigger me, the thoughts that
I had, because it's always about your mindset, the fights always in your mind before it's anywhere
else. So as I started to work through those things, I started to see the commonalities
in people that were either pursuing something or had already arrived to become rather successful,
but they were hanging their hat on all their successes and their relationships were suffering.
So it's kind of a long conversation, but that's the short version.
Okay. There's something that you've said, you've said it once and then I said it once because I
liked the sound of it and it was confidence versus self-worth. Could you jump into the differences
between the two that you see? Yeah. So confidence is, you're not sure if you can do something.
You know, anytime that we try to do something new, it's going to feel kind of clunky and messy and
awkward, but we pushed through that, you know, especially when we're kids. So one of the
analogies that I like to use is, so I have lived in Southern California all my life. Well, when we
were kids, we would skateboard in the street and you know, when you first start skateboarding,
you fall, we would fall and go, Oh my gosh, I ate it. You know, and we would laugh at our friends
and go, Oh, you ate it. You know, but what did we do? We cut back on our skateboards and we kept
playing in the street and we kept doing it and everything. And really nobody seemed to be afraid
to fall in front of our friends. Well, I don't know what happens, but somehow we grow up and all the
sudden we're afraid to eat it and to fall in front of our friends and our peer group. Sometimes even
those things can start triggering this weird self-worth of, we'll use the proverbial skateboard.
I don't deserve a nice skateboard. I don't deserve to know how to ride. Just these weird stories we
get in our head and we're growing up and all of a sudden we're thinking that we don't deserve to
be loved or we don't deserve to be happy or we don't deserve success. That's rooted in self-worth.
And a lot of times that comes because of the stories in our head of people telling us that
we're no good, we're worthless. You'll never learn how to skateboard. Why do you even try?
You know, it's just like a whole vicious cycle that goes on in our head and we have to squash
those voices. Interesting. Yeah. I've always tied the two together. I guess in my history,
I've always tied the two together because they're so closely related. But talking with you now,
I'm realizing I don't have a self-worth issue. I've always been very positive and always get
back up and try again. But I do find myself occasionally having the confidence issue where
I get up and I'm like, yeah, I'll try again, but I don't think it's gonna work. I'll try again,
but it feels like I'm not getting anywhere. I'm gonna keep trying until I feel like I need to
stop or go somewhere else, but I will keep trying. And I think that's just the positive side of me.
And that came from my upbringing. My mother was always positive and always smiling and always
happy whenever it came to anything down. And there was never, I mean, occasionally there were sad
times, but there was always an upside to everything. And that's something that I carry with me day to
day is that there's always a positive, there's always a greener pasture, there's always a sunnier
day and you just keep moving forward for it. And yeah, that goes a long way. It's really cool that
you're wired that way. You said something before we started recording, you were telling me about,
you know, post-production editing and stuff like that. I mean, just think about the skills you had
to develop just to have your show. You know, it's a lot, there's a lot of tech involved. And you know,
you've got all the bells and whistles to put together a really high quality production piece.
There's a lot of people that will start doing that and they will give up because it's a challenge
and they get that narrative. Oh, I'll never do this. I'll never succeed. And then it goes into,
well, who wants to hear my show anyway? You know, and all the negativity starts spinning around.
And it's like, you have to stop that and just say, is this true? Is this really even true? I mean,
for people listening, like look back at your life at things that you've accomplished.
I can't cook. So somebody else might be like, oh, you know, I cook. It's no big deal. Well,
to somebody that can't cook, it is a big deal. So first off, don't, don't discount the things that
you're good at. And then look at how, how it took you so long to even perfect your favorite recipe
that, you know, every time there's a potluck or you have company over, people are like, oh,
are you going to make that one thing? That's our favorite. And you're like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, and you think it's no big deal. But if I was going to start out, my kitchen would look
like it had exploded, you know, every dish, you know, all the, all the ingredients would be out
to be just this giant mess or probably be food on the floor. I'd be calling my cat to eat it.
So you don't want to discount what you're good at and then think like, okay, the principles that I
applied to learn how to skateboard or create this great dish, how can I apply that to this situation?
Because I think as humans, we totally overcomplicate things.
And we need to stop doing that. We just need to stop. Thank you for being here today. I'm really
happy that you tuned into Vision Pros Live. I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions as these
episodes continue to move forward. This is going to get more and more fun. We'll have more and more
engagement as well. We'll invite people to participate in the show. And thank you for
giving us your time and attention. Have an excellent time building out your vision and
becoming a Vision Pro yourself.