1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,040 about, which was, you know, hey, and it's not for everyone. Business isn't everything. 2 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:13,580 And I think, you know, yeah, I know. Wow. Right. You look back in history, I mean, like, 3 00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:18,100 for instance, I did, I just started listening to this podcast that Tucker Carlson put out 4 00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:24,040 a week or two ago, a brother and sister. They're both both groups, super wealthy, very highly 5 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:28,680 educated Stanford and Harvard Business School graduates, one's a doctor, and one one to 6 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:33,880 start becoming a lobbyist. And they talked about all of this, the problems that we have 7 00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:37,880 with our food source here in the country now. And it got me thinking, like, are we feeding 8 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:41,720 all this junk to our kids? And then we're wondering why they're having all these problems. 9 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:45,440 And look, look at us, like, you know, our age, it's like, okay, I bet you a lot of the 10 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:49,840 problems we had growing up that we didn't realize were problems came from this garbage 11 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:54,500 food source. So, you know, going back to the topic before, which is like, hey, let's let's 12 00:00:54,500 --> 00:01:00,000 reprioritize some of our efforts, energies, resources to focusing more on what truly matters, 13 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:06,200 the family, the kids, that to me is now becoming a bigger part of it. Right? Like, like my 14 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:11,600 woman right now is in the middle of a 10 day cleanse to rid her body of toxins and poisons 15 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:17,800 that have been debilitating her since January. Right. And a lot of that is because of this 16 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:22,440 garbage food source that we've put into ourselves. So if we can focus some time and effort and 17 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:27,880 energy into bringing in better quality nutrients that we can feed ourselves with, if I myself, 18 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:32,880 like, I'm a coaching consultant in the business world, but I'm also a coach here at home to 19 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:37,520 my kids and my family. I'm the leader. So if I can show them, hey, there's a better way 20 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:41,960 to do it than what I went through, because that's what coaching is, by the way. Right. 21 00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:46,000 Let me show you now. Let's, let's go into this health and fitness realm. Let's talk about 22 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:51,320 working out what's healthy, what's not healthy for the body. And, you know, I just, I'm not 23 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:55,800 mad at my parents for not giving me that information, but they did the best they could with the 24 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:59,680 information provided to them. It was a different generation when I was brought up, especially 25 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:06,080 with my parents. Right. But now knowing what I know, I can't rightfully feed my kids some 26 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:10,400 of the stuff that I have been feeding them in the past. Right. And expecting a different 27 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:13,480 results than, than what was me when I grew up. 28 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:20,240 Yeah, absolutely. And the, the parental aspect, right. I don't think I'll give my dad the 29 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:25,240 benefit of the doubt that he did the best that he could. But he did what he thought 30 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:31,240 was right. Right. I don't think he intentionally did things wrong. I know, I can only speak 31 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:37,600 for myself on that. I spent years not being my best, right. Just kind of go into the motions, 32 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:41,800 doing things because I knew it was supposed to do them. There was a learning curve that 33 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:45,360 I went through and maybe the rest of people in life don't go through that, but I can honestly 34 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:50,040 admit there was years where I was kind of half-assing stuff. I mean, we're not doing 35 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:55,880 certain things or knowing things and saying, I'm not going to do that. So every generation 36 00:02:55,880 --> 00:03:01,280 has those challenges of what they've learned and what they provided. And what I love about 37 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:05,680 what you're talking about is just providing the grace, you know, to say, Hey, they gave 38 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:09,680 me good out of this and I'm going to build upon it. I'm going to do something better 39 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:14,160 for my next generation and see if I can learn from this. So that is that, and you talk about 40 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:19,960 coaching. Everybody's a coach. You're like, Jackson, you coach. And I'm like, maybe. I'm 41 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:24,800 like, I'm yeah, you sure you though, right? They want to put you in a box. And it's like, 42 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:30,080 well, I'm, I'm a son. I'm a brother. I'm a husband. They don't know I'm an ex-husband 43 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:36,640 now. You know, I'm a lot of other adjectives and I love to show up and help. Do I need 44 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:42,920 a label to do that? No, we don't. So this is, this conversation is going to be about 45 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:47,720 busy authenticity, imperfect action. Thomas Keenan has become a friend from a distance. 46 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:51,760 We don't get to talk very often. We're too busy both producing and going to help the 47 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:57,040 people that are in our circles. He's got this concept of worth per hour too, that I'm a 48 00:03:57,040 --> 00:04:01,520 big fan of his design for the buckets that are associated with that. They're concepts 49 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:09,120 that so many, even, even advanced executives and entrepreneurs lose sight of and forget 50 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:13,400 to define and forget that, Oh man, I need to pay attention to am I putting my time and 51 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:16,320 attention in the right areas? He's going to bless us with some wisdom and knowledge on 52 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:22,240 that. Now, before we cut to the break though, Thomas, three resources, what are three resources 53 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:28,360 that you recommend for other visionary leaders out there? Resources, huh? Yeah. We want to 54 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:33,840 talk about books. We want to talk about podcasts. Want to get specific here? You're the man. 55 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:37,620 All of the above your choice on those three resources. I'll give you a couple of books 56 00:04:37,620 --> 00:04:44,000 that have really changed my mind in the way that I operate and do things. Entree of leadership 57 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:48,040 by Mr. Dave Ramsey, fantastic book. And I don't care what you think about his financial 58 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:56,360 advice. That's a fantastic book. We've got, uh, is what I just had at the tip of my tongue. 59 00:04:56,360 --> 00:05:01,880 Essentialism by Greg McEwen. Essentialism. That is a fantastic book that really changed 60 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:09,080 my perspective on a lot of things. Um, and it's probably the two most impactful, important 61 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:13,480 ones. And I'll leave it at that right there. Cause those are two completely different books. 62 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:17,740 And I recommend that anyone go ahead and dive into them, right? It's like essentialism is 63 00:05:17,740 --> 00:05:22,280 how to get rid of the trivial, trivial many in this and focus on the essential few. So 64 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:28,160 basically less is more. It's that concept, but the author dives in really deep and explains 65 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:33,680 it in a way that just for me, I was, I was able to absorb it and understand it way better 66 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:39,240 than any other version of that concept that had been presented to me. Um, and you know, 67 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:42,160 with the clients that I work with, one of the things is like, Hey, you're going to come 68 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:45,800 work with me. And it's funny, you know, the first coach that I ever hired, I laughed in 69 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,680 his face when he told me this, he's like, Hey, if you're going to work with me, you're 70 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:55,120 going to read. That was like, okay, with what time? And you know, here I am. I don't know. 71 00:05:55,120 --> 00:06:00,120 It's 10, 12 years later. And like, I've got a shelf behind me books. I've got three or 72 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:03,360 four more of these spread out throughout the remainder of the house of other books that 73 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:07,680 I've read. I just can't fit over here anymore. And God only knows how many of these books 74 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:10,480 that I've given out to others. Cause I know they're in need and like, Hey, that book's 75 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:16,080 going to help you right now. So yeah, get your butt to reading. I think is more important 76 00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:21,880 than actually what to read. I love it. I love it because yeah, you learn to read and now 77 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:26,080 you can expand into other areas of wisdom. I love the minimalist approach, the focus, 78 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:30,440 the laser focus of being able to focus in on these two books. And admittedly, I have 79 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:35,520 never read either one of those books. So now they get to go on my marketing list on my, 80 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:39,760 my Amazon. It's like my, I don't know, it's a bookcase of things that I need to buy in 81 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:45,920 the near future. Dave Ramsey, glad you mentioned about the financials and what people may think 82 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:50,960 there. Guys, there's levels to finance. That's all there is to it. Oh, I mean, and Dave spends 83 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:56,420 a lot of time teaching more of the basic principles of finances. And so to, to blame a second 84 00:06:56,420 --> 00:07:02,120 grade teacher for teaching calculus wrong, you know, or, or accuse him of, of thinking 85 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:06,200 that calculus doesn't matter. It's just kind of silly. It's just, it's just kind of a funny 86 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:11,200 fight that exists out there, but does he get things wrong? Maybe, but I'm not out in the 87 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:16,020 world counting people's wrongs. I'm not in the world producing results along with Thomas 88 00:07:16,020 --> 00:07:20,400 and Dave, and we hope you join us. So we'll be right back. We'll dive into Thomas's vision 89 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:25,680 after a quick break. All right. Welcome in to vision pros live with Jackson Callum. I'm 90 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:30,260 your show host. We will be doing interviews for visionary entrepreneurs and guest leaders 91 00:07:30,260 --> 00:07:44,060 who are building fantastic visions out there. What is up and welcome into another episode 92 00:07:44,060 --> 00:07:49,000 of vision pros live. I'm your show host, Jackson Callum, founder and CEO of first class business. 93 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:53,480 And I'm really excited to have Thomas Keenan on the stage today. This man's built like 94 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:58,520 Tony Robbins from a powerful stature standpoint. He's also in Texas with me, which also bumps 95 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:02,360 him way up the list. And I just, I love his tenacity and the way he's getting after life. 96 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:07,840 I love his authenticity. We're also both single single fathers and man, we, we got to carry 97 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:12,760 the torch together. Um, that's just, that's just how that works. There's a lot of opportunity 98 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:16,480 for single father. If you know a single father, tag them in this episode and, you know, allow 99 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:20,280 them to hear what other people are doing in relation to the challenges they go through. 100 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:23,940 That's my first shout out is please tag a single father in this. We need communities 101 00:08:23,940 --> 00:08:29,080 to unite so that we become our best selves as well. Um, so before we move in and we talked 102 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:32,440 to Thomas about his vision, I want to give a couple of resources away that are super 103 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:36,960 helpful and important. Some of them in the form of sponsorships, we've got hard to kill 104 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:42,160 with Dave Morrow, hardtokill.org is helping a hundred thousand veterans lose 2 million 105 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:47,800 pounds collectively. Uh, why? What's the right thing to do? But on the tragedy side, a lot 106 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:51,280 of veterans come home and they fall into a depression. They kind of lose sight of their 107 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:55,320 identity and who they are. They don't have the workout routines and the health plans. 108 00:08:55,320 --> 00:09:00,460 Uh, watch a movie like thank you for your service. Very gut wrenching movie to watch, 109 00:09:00,460 --> 00:09:04,340 by the way. Uh, and, and try to understand what these soldiers who fight for our freedom 110 00:09:04,340 --> 00:09:09,720 go through. Well, Dave's carrying the microphone and torch to help them get back on their feet, 111 00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:14,200 make sure they're staying in shape or just make the transition easier for those veterans. 112 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:17,560 And we love what he's built. So we're also part of his team at hard to kill. And he's 113 00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:21,240 got the world's easiest workout program in the world. And then he's got veterans fit 114 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:27,220 AF community open to those who serve in the armed forces and civilians alike. So I have 115 00:09:27,220 --> 00:09:31,980 some fun in there, uh, getting myself in shape too, which is awesome. It's been a long time. 116 00:09:31,980 --> 00:09:37,720 Then there's magic productions. Magic productions comes from, excuse me, Peyton Childers, Peyton 117 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:43,280 Childers, uh, he's a very, very equipped AV specialist. If you've got events coming up 118 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:46,320 or you've got a vision and you're building a networking thing, you want somebody to come 119 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:51,480 help you with the production process of that, uh, it can make your event evergreen and it 120 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:56,600 can put you in a position to where the videos that you produce through that, that he produces 121 00:09:56,600 --> 00:10:01,720 through that rather gives you the B roll necessary to really make your brand stand out. And also 122 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:05,720 he makes it inclusionary to where your event can be streamed alive and you can do live 123 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:09,880 interactions with people who are not able to physically attend. There's Peyton right 124 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:15,040 there. His hospitality is phenomenal, especially for his age. One of the great things about 125 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:20,800 hiring somebody that's as tenacious and hospitable at 25 years old is he still got a lot to prove 126 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:25,680 and he knows it. So he comes to bat and works very hard for what he does. We loved everything 127 00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:29,800 about how he helped us with our event. And just a couple of fun facts. He was on the 128 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:35,000 championship video production team for Sam Houston university when they won their football 129 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:40,200 championship and he was on the Texas Rangers baseball production team when they won championships. 130 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:44,460 He has the Midas touch when it comes to championship teams. So definitely take a look at what he's 131 00:10:44,460 --> 00:10:48,240 up to. And then there's a water project. I don't have my water bottle with me. I usually 132 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:53,520 like to have it for this segment because well, we just, we're just that fortunate guys. If 133 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:57,640 you're listening to this micro, if you listen to me talk on this podcast, you probably have 134 00:10:57,640 --> 00:11:01,240 access to clean drinking water. So when I found out there's millions of people who do 135 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:05,480 not have access to that, I refuse to forget about it. It's like, you know what? I can, 136 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:09,640 I can do something about this. I can help myself. I can help by donating to it, but 137 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:14,500 I can also help by spreading the word. These, these children, these parents, imagine having 138 00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:19,080 to leave school to get water for the community or imagine having to leave work and how your 139 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:23,480 boss would feel about that to go get water for your community. The water project focuses 140 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:29,000 on remote areas of Africa that do not have access to the resources to really, really 141 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,680 help themselves. But then they don't come in and just solve the problem. They teach 142 00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:36,840 the community how to solve the problem. And as you notice these kids, they celebrate water 143 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:41,520 like my kids celebrate Christmas day. We can do so much more. My friends, there's 8 billion 144 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:44,360 people in this world to help. And I hope that you join me in the efforts, whether it's through 145 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:48,120 the water project or another project that you want to see supported. If something's 146 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:52,320 like shouting at you and you're like, Jackson, I wish you'd talk about this instead, drop 147 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:56,320 a comment, let us know what that causes. You never know. I might put that on the show as 148 00:11:56,320 --> 00:12:00,400 well and talk about that cause. We got to band together and help people in this world. 149 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:05,040 That's what it's all about. So without further ado, Thomas Keenan, thank you for joining 150 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:11,860 me on vision pros live. Let's start right in. Let's go. Awesome. So what is, what's 151 00:12:11,860 --> 00:12:18,080 your vision for the people that you're serving, Thomas? Basically this, um, I've come to the 152 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:22,240 realization, this is a couple of years ago that I was put here to help other people succeed 153 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:27,280 in business and life. And if you asked me this two years ago, I would have left the 154 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:30,880 life part out because it was just business. That's where we're comfortable. That's what 155 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:34,200 we talk about. We've had some success there. We've had failures there. We have experienced 156 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:38,720 there. And you know, you and I have had conversations off the air where it's like, Hey, you know, 157 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:46,120 you and I, we've been through some, some crap, right? And that crap also gives us life experience 158 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:51,040 and the life experience allows us to help others who are potentially going through something 159 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:57,560 more. I don't want to be a, um, uh, therapist. I'm not licensed to be a therapist. That's 160 00:12:57,560 --> 00:13:03,000 not an area of expertise. However, what this has done is it allows me to come in and help 161 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:08,400 my clients in their business. But when, when the poop hits the fan, which it's going to 162 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:12,120 happen if it hasn't happened at some point in your life, it also allows me to stand in 163 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:16,920 it with them and say, Hey, I know it's complete chaos right now. I know you're not happy. 164 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:21,280 This is, it's the whole world is spinning and going crazy, but trust me, if we stick 165 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:25,880 through this together, I will stay with you. I will be a supporter. I've been through this 166 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:29,600 before you will be okay. If I can do that for someone, like someone has been able to 167 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:34,040 do that for me countless times, then at the end of the day, man, it's, it's just good. 168 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:38,100 That fulfills me inside as a human being. And if I feel fulfilled inside as a human 169 00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:43,960 being, it allows me to then give more to others. Absolutely. You know, it's, it's funny. I 170 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:48,280 hadn't thought of this analogy until you just talked about the business and life aspect. 171 00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:52,720 I'm eating that up and marinating on it because I'm a big fan. I've always been life before 172 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:59,640 business always yet. And many instances I can walk circles around the business people 173 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:04,000 who are all business and you know, the, Oh, let me see your track rate. You can look at 174 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:09,320 my track record. And I'm happy to look at that and talk to anybody about it. And it's 175 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:14,320 probably gonna make you pee your pants. I don't know if we dive into those details, but it 176 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:21,400 reminds me of those ninja movies, right? The grand master who never has to swing at the 177 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:28,240 opponent. It's always one step ahead. And it's like, Nope, like you as much as you try 178 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:32,600 to posture as business, business, business, grind it out. It's all gotta be business. 179 00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:37,960 Let's go. You have to like, let's control you and turn you into a business robot. You 180 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:44,080 don't have to do that. You know, there's a life side too. And leaning into the life side 181 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:49,400 creates a new series of abundance. It doesn't guarantee results. You still got challenges 182 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:52,760 that are going to hit. As you mentioned, the poop's going to hit the fan. Entrepreneurship 183 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:57,980 as Scott Galloway said, I think that's his last name, Ted talk. But in his interview 184 00:14:57,980 --> 00:15:02,960 with Christopher Williams, I think it was Christopher Williamson, great podcast, something 185 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:07,880 about wisdom said entrepreneurship is you just got to be ready to eat as many spoonfuls 186 00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:13,640 as poop as possible. I mean, that's entrepreneurship is. And I was like, that is so unfortunately 187 00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:24,280 valid, you know, and real. So how, how did you switch from business centric to realizing, 188 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:31,000 Oh boy, there's, there's more things to life than this. What was that like? 189 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:35,560 Having good people to support me and in my corner. I don't know about what your experience 190 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:39,240 has been, but I've always had people, even if I'm living in a different state, not local 191 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:44,520 to them, where if something is going wrong in my life, they have this innate ability 192 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:50,880 to sense it and reach out and say, Hey, you good. And like a lot of others, I've also 193 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:55,880 lied on occasion and been like, yeah, everything's great. Making money, grinding business is 194 00:15:55,880 --> 00:16:01,040 great. Things are moving. And then you have those, those, those really good friends who 195 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:05,640 were like, yeah, that's cool. Business may be great, but what else is going on? And they 196 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:09,680 dive deeper and you start peeling back the layers. And it took, it took some friends 197 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:16,040 like that to call me out of my own BS over the last couple of years. So for me, I'm real 198 00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:20,960 big with proximity, right? Proximity opens doors and relationships with others, but it 199 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:26,320 also closes and ends some past relationships. And sometimes for the better, sometimes for 200 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:31,240 the worse. So in my own personal experiences, I'm a born and raised New Yorker born and 201 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:35,200 raised in Long Island, New York, spent my first 40 years there. Okay. September 20th 202 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:43,400 of 20, September 25th of 2020, I moved here to North Dallas. Right. So I make this transition, 203 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:48,360 right? I exit one company that was successful. Come down here and was like, well, I don't 204 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:51,400 know. I want to figure something out and do something real soon and we'll get there. And 205 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:57,080 it wound up becoming step it up Academy. Um, and went in and actually consulted for another 206 00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:01,600 large company for quite some time, spent nearly two years there, built out some really cool 207 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:08,480 things and it required all of me and then some, and I don't regret it, but it required 208 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:17,200 me to be in that business mode turned on 24 seven and over the 20 months of my time spent 209 00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:23,000 there, made great money, made good connections, did some really cool things, got to travel 210 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:27,400 a lot. So I don't have anything bad to say about that, but what it did was it took so 211 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:34,120 much of my time away that I had lost the personal connections inside the relationship with my 212 00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:39,040 now ex wife. I wasn't showing up like the dad that I should be. And I was a present 213 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:43,640 father, so don't get me wrong, but I wasn't showing up a hundred percent. And the biggest 214 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:50,240 one that I got called out on from a really close friend, right? It was, Hey, um, what 215 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:57,600 are you doing for joy? And I was like, Oh, and you know, I had all of these things that 216 00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:01,120 I was doing on a pretty regular basis when I was living in New York. Like I grew up, 217 00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:05,400 I loved the outdoors. I liked to hunt. I liked to shoot. I like, I like archery. These are 218 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:09,360 things that I would do on a regular basis. I moved here and all those things went out 219 00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:14,200 the window because business was business and it was important. And we have to go focus 220 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:18,200 on that because there's fires out over here and we got to go take care of them. And if 221 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:23,900 you do that for too long, you wind up sacrificing the things that you truly care for that do 222 00:18:23,900 --> 00:18:30,320 bring you that joy. And it was a very slow transition. It took about two and a half, 223 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:35,000 almost three years. And I woke up one day and was like, Oh my God, what is going on 224 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:40,240 here? And it was like, Hey, someone called me out a while ago on it. And sometimes we're 225 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:45,560 not ready to hear when that person calls us out and we have to stumble upon it or uncover 226 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:54,520 it for ourselves. And sometimes that person comes and says, I told you so. Right. Yeah. 227 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:59,440 So that's, that's, that's been a big chunk of my experience with it. And you know, I 228 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:03,760 don't know about you, but the way that I operate is once I get clarity, once I see something, 229 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:09,200 I cannot see it. Yeah. And clarity breeds decision. Okay, great. Now that we're clear 230 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:13,040 that we're missing joy, you stop doing some of these things that do bring you joy that 231 00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:18,780 you thoroughly enjoy as well. What are you going to do to fix it? And now you start digging 232 00:19:18,780 --> 00:19:22,320 through and peeling up other layers of the onion. And it's like, Whoa, hold on a second 233 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:27,240 here. I thought this was a small issue over here. And this thing is massive. And when, 234 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:31,840 you know, it's I'll equate it to this. And for those of, uh, those of you who are listening, 235 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:36,520 who've ever worked, you know, construction, work on a house or a restore a car, you know, 236 00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:39,800 you see a little bit of rust or you see a little bit of wood rot from termite damage 237 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:42,680 and whatnot. You know, like, ah, it's just a little bit piece. We've got to cut this 238 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:46,080 thing out. We'll replace it. And you start, you know, peeling off the sheet rock or you 239 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:51,480 grind off the paint on the car. And you're like, Oh man, not only is this thing rusty, 240 00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:55,760 but it's filled with crappy auto body filler from some tech 20 years ago, who tried to 241 00:19:55,760 --> 00:20:00,800 repair this and did a half ass job. So now to really repair this thing, we've got to 242 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:07,440 strip everything down to the studs, to the frame and rebuild from the get-go. And like, 243 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:11,960 I felt that's what transpired for me in my own life. It was like, okay, great. I understand 244 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:16,520 all the business side over here, but I spent so much time focused on the business that 245 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:21,200 the personal side, which was like, Oh yeah, I'm good. Always happy. Things are great. 246 00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:25,600 Relationship with the wife's great. We never fight. And I was just sweeping all of this 247 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:31,520 stuff under the carpet until one day it was like, Hey, you can't do that anymore. And 248 00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:36,000 once that clarity was achieved, it was like, all right, I've got to take action and I'm 249 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:43,660 an action taker. And the funny thing about me is this. I can go days, weeks without taking 250 00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:47,680 massive action on something because in the business realm, we've built these systems 251 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:51,360 and processes that operate behind the scenes. Okay. And I know for a fact, you've got the 252 00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:57,360 same thing going on to your companies. Oh yeah. Cool. But every so often it's like new 253 00:20:57,360 --> 00:21:01,560 project came in or we get inspired to go do something. It's like, Oh, like, and now we're 254 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:06,840 in this go mode and we get things done and we take action and we make things happen rapidly. 255 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:09,800 That's the point that I got to on the personal side of the house. Like, okay, here's the 256 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:17,740 clarity. I see the issue and I'm not willing to wait to sit on this, to let it fester, 257 00:21:17,740 --> 00:21:23,520 to get any worse. Like I'm going to take action now. And oftentimes when we do this, whether 258 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:27,040 it's in the business side of the house, the personal side of the house, people think that 259 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:33,420 we're making decisions out of haste. And in reality, you've been inside your own head 260 00:21:33,420 --> 00:21:38,440 working this problem for three months, six months, a year. Yep. Right. But the outside 261 00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:44,080 world is like, Whoa, that came out of left field, man. You sure you want to do that? 262 00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:48,440 That's right. They see it as impulsive. A lot of times in it. That's why the outside 263 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:54,040 opinions they can be important to reflect on and to hear, but they shouldn't, they should 264 00:21:54,040 --> 00:22:00,920 not deflect us from our own intuition. You know, in our intuition is one that if we exercise 265 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:07,280 it then we have a stronger sense of muscles of, okay, how strong is our intuition or is 266 00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:11,280 it weak? Do we need to learn how to get back into that? So I mean, you brought up a whole 267 00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:15,640 bunch of awesome opportunities. I'm like, well, I think I'm gonna have to skip color 268 00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:20,400 commentating on most of it. Cause I was like, this is, that's a whole lot of awesome done 269 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:23,960 pack. You'd be a great stage presenter if you aren't already, man, you're ready for 270 00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:29,000 the speaker's tour. So I mean that too. It's like, I take that and go, it takes a certain 271 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:34,000 personality to keynote and you got it. So the, the, the subject I want to dive into 272 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:38,920 that did not leave my heart and all of that. And I was like, I want to circle back to this 273 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:44,260 is fatherhood, right? So you talked about showing up. We talked about maybe not showing 274 00:22:44,260 --> 00:22:48,480 up in the past. And I don't think there's any one universal definition of this. I think 275 00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:53,680 that there's lots of, there's lots of paradigms based on the needs of the child, based on 276 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:59,160 the capacities of the father, based on the access that we have as well. Does our kid 277 00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:05,840 have cancer? You know, does our child have a disability and learning? Is our child destined 278 00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:10,800 for the Olympics? There, there's so many different realities that exist there. And so rather 279 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:15,960 than overgeneralizing Fox or CNN style, I like to open a little bit of a debate on this 280 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:21,280 and say first, like, you know, what is, what is showing up as a father? What does that 281 00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:27,620 look like to you? And, and how are, what are some of the ways that we as fathers, like, 282 00:23:27,620 --> 00:23:30,880 let's all do a personal inventory as dads on this, even moms, you're welcome to this 283 00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:34,280 too. Like maybe where am I not showing up and how can I show up better? What are some 284 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:38,440 red flags that are in my blind spots that I might be missing? Let's hear it Thomas. 285 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:39,440 What's on your side? 286 00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:43,800 Well, you got the basics that I think everyone knows about, but not everyone actually does 287 00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:48,840 great with and myself included to this day. And that's, you know, Hey, I've got a kids 288 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:55,800 who are in soccer or some sports type events and we go to the event and we can't put down 289 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:59,320 the old elusive cell phone because you know, we're attached to it. We're staring at it. 290 00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:04,560 Right. And like, I'm not great with it. I'll be fine. I'm honest with you. I'll give you 291 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:10,280 my version of it and what I found and what was the biggest piece for me. And it's this, 292 00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:18,120 the catch to this is it is 100% acceptable by society. And when you go against it, people 293 00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:21,280 are like, ah, you're acting kind of weird and funny. And actually when you start diving 294 00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:27,080 into it, you talk about spirit, right? Yes. So if you want to do any reading, here's another 295 00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:31,240 book recommendation, by the way, it's called food of the gods. You can add that one to 296 00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:35,480 your list from earlier. Okay. I had a very dear close friend recommended this to me a 297 00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:39,160 year and a half ago, read the book and there's a chapter in there that talks heavily about 298 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:43,760 alcohol. And the theory is that alcohol was put here on the planet to disconnect us from 299 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:52,640 spirit. Okay, cool. So now this has got my attention because I'm a daily drinker, right? 300 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:58,440 I wouldn't call myself an alcoholic at this point in time, but I'm someone at, and I've 301 00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:02,160 now fixed this and I'll get into that in a second, but I'm someone who would come home 302 00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:06,480 from work, right? And sometimes work was the home office. Sometimes work was going into 303 00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:11,760 the office or the field, but come home from work. And what's acceptable by society is 304 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:15,720 to come home and crack open a cold beer or pour yourself a glass of wine or a vodka soda, 305 00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:22,200 whatever your thing is. And before long, I come into this, this pattern and it was soon 306 00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:26,960 after I got married, by the way, because now all of a sudden you're out in your own, you're 307 00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:31,640 living, you're adults, you can make your own decisions. You're of legal age. This is legal 308 00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:37,740 to do. And before long, now it turns into, I'm having between three and five or three 309 00:25:37,740 --> 00:25:46,000 and six beverages a day. And are you feeling the effects from the alcohol? No, not at all. 310 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:50,220 Like I don't feel any worse. Don't feel any better. Just, it's the thing to do. It's like 311 00:25:50,220 --> 00:25:56,100 muscle memory. Come home, pop open a beer. What I wind up realizing after years and years 312 00:25:56,100 --> 00:25:59,640 and years and years and years of doing this, right? And this is part of the clarity that 313 00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:05,000 I came across about a year and a half ago, almost two years ago. Yep. Alcohol disconnects 314 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:11,280 us from spirit, but it also, it makes you tired. So I'd come home, I'd have two or three 315 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:16,020 drinks and now my son wants to go outside and throw the football, throw the baseball. 316 00:26:16,020 --> 00:26:20,480 And I'm like, Oh my God, I gotta get off my break. This one with this kid. That's not 317 00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:25,840 the attitude that I want to show up with my kids for any one of them. So, okay, that's 318 00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:30,760 a problem. And the more that I started reading and educating myself on this, I started seeing 319 00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:35,440 all of these patterns and all these pieces that connected and everything led back to 320 00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:39,480 the source, the root cause of alcohol being the problem. Okay. Well, what happens if we, 321 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:45,200 if we, if we get rid of alcohol now, um, someone who, who's pretty healthy at this point in 322 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:51,840 time, I guess I was about 37. I'll be 45 in October. I was about 37. I decided to start 323 00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:57,920 taking my health and fitness a bit more seriously and, um, um, started, you know, going to the 324 00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:02,440 gym regular basis and it was a long process then it's okay. Well, let's start watching 325 00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:06,440 what goes in our mouth. But alcohol was one of those things that alcohol doesn't matter. 326 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:12,240 Just keep drinking it. So, um, Andy, if we sell it comes out with 75 part a whole bunch 327 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:17,200 of years ago and everyone's kind of jumping on a bandwagon and I said to myself, I knew 328 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:22,840 myself at the time, I am not mentally ready to take this on because I can't get rid of 329 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:29,560 alcohol for 75 days. Okay. Everything else that's on that list, I can, I can handle it. 330 00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:36,000 So all right, cool. A year progresses and I don't know about you, but I'm always working 331 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:40,660 on myself and I hope that everyone who's listening to this is also working on themselves every 332 00:27:40,660 --> 00:27:45,720 single day. A year progresses and now I'm a different person, mentally, physically, 333 00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:49,720 emotionally, spiritually, all that stuff. And now I'm like, okay, I can, I can do this 334 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:56,040 now. And I thought that the alcohol was going to be the most difficult part of the 75 days 335 00:27:56,040 --> 00:28:01,200 and it wasn't, it was actually the easiest. Okay. Cool. Good to know. I felt better, but 336 00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:07,880 I went right back in day 76. I started drinking again. Okay. Follow this pattern. This is 337 00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:15,520 2020 by the way, uh, 20, I do it again a couple more times, 2022, October through December. 338 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:22,520 I do another round of 75 hard. I got done with that round and I said, man, I've been 339 00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:27,440 in the gym this whole time. My shoulders feel good. They're not inflamed. My knees aren't 340 00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:33,320 swollen and inflamed. Um, like I'm not swollen in the midsection. And I, I was speaking to 341 00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:36,240 a good buddy of mine who's my trainer at the time. And I said, Hey, like, you know, what 342 00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:42,040 do you think this is? He goes, you idiot. Cause alcohol is an inflammatory. I was like, 343 00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:46,160 Oh, you know something I totally forgot about that. And sometimes we need the basic reminders 344 00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:52,080 in life too. So, okay, that makes sense. So I said to myself, you know what? I like this. 345 00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:55,760 I like how I feel. I like when I get up in the morning and I don't like the hangover 346 00:28:55,760 --> 00:29:01,600 or the brain fog and my body physically feels better. So we're onto something. And right 347 00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:06,960 around the time is when I've also read that book, food of the gods. It's like, okay, a 348 00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:13,320 couple of weeks go by new years, uh, progresses goes by. Uh, so 20, 20, 23 into 2020, uh, 349 00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:20,080 sorry, 2022 into 2023. And I woke up a couple of days into it and I was like, you know what? 350 00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:26,560 This just isn't serving me anymore. Okay. So I'm slowly eliminating and eradicating 351 00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:31,460 this completely from my life. Now. Like I know I can, I can go 75 days and not touch 352 00:29:31,460 --> 00:29:37,200 this stuff and it doesn't bother me. So now I'm, I'm doing more, more, uh, days and clips 353 00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:42,280 three days here, five days there, three days here, five days there, seven days here. Life 354 00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:48,960 comes at me pretty hard with some personal drama, uh, long story short here, a valet 355 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:55,960 driver took my truck and crashed it into a tree at 53 miles an hour and totaled it. Oh, 356 00:29:55,960 --> 00:30:02,000 so, um, if anyone wants to see it go scroll through my social media from, uh, 20, 23 and 357 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:07,440 you'll see some pictures of it. Um, it's a, it's a story we could record an entire podcast 358 00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:13,500 on Sarah. So I'm not going to dive into too much of the details. So yeah, this happens 359 00:30:13,500 --> 00:30:18,960 and it was on my way to a speaking engagement, by the way, which I wound up not making because 360 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:24,220 a whole bunch of nonsense happened. Um, so I went home that night and stopped at the 361 00:30:24,220 --> 00:30:29,440 local watering hole and had myself a bunch of adult beverages, woke up the next day, 362 00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:35,040 feeling like garbage. And I said, all right, that is it. I'm done. And that was it. I made 363 00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:40,280 the decision and I haven't consumed alcohol since then. Right. Wow. I'm not against alcohol. 364 00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:45,240 If that's your thing, you want to do it. Cool. But I've also come to the realization of clarity, 365 00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:50,520 clarity, decision, the clarity that I now have has led me to the decision of alcohol 366 00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:57,320 is not for me at this current stage of my life. Yeah. I also was at the beginning stages 367 00:30:57,320 --> 00:31:02,880 of knowing that I was going through some serious relationship troubles with my now ex-wife. 368 00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:08,160 And I said to myself this, and you'll understand this as someone who's been through it yourself. 369 00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:14,100 Um, I'm about to make some life altering decisions, not just for myself, but also for her and 370 00:31:14,100 --> 00:31:19,600 also for the three kids that we've made who I love dearly. Yep. I don't want to come on 371 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:27,280 the backside of this, make decisions and say, wow, I made the wrong decision. And I probably 372 00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:32,480 made the wrong decision because my brain was foggy courtesy of alcohol. Right. So let's 373 00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:37,840 just eliminate that completely right now. Let's see how this goes. And it wasn't fun, 374 00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:43,160 by the way, at all. Um, let's see how this goes. And then we'll reevaluate six months, 375 00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:47,880 a year from now and we'll see what goes. And now I'm at the point where it's been removed 376 00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:52,320 from my life for so long. I don't want it. I don't necessarily, I don't crave it. It's 377 00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:56,800 not in my home. And it's also something that I'm not patterning and showing my children 378 00:31:56,800 --> 00:32:00,800 that is acceptable on a daily basis. Look, I know for a fact for the most part that my 379 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:03,880 kids are going to grow up and they're going to go and they're going to have fun. Like 380 00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:06,920 you and myself probably do when we're younger. I mean, I can guarantee you that I did it. 381 00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:11,720 I don't know what your story is there. Um, but if, if I can, once again, you know, if 382 00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:15,560 I can show the kids a better way to do this out of the gate and again, I'm not saying 383 00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:19,720 my parents did anything wrong. They did the best that they could with what they had at 384 00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:24,240 that time. But if I can show this next generation coming up, Hey, there's a better way to do 385 00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:27,440 this. There's a better way with the food. There's a better way with the exercise. There's 386 00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:32,120 a better way with, with the elimination of alcohol. Let's roll. Because if I can make 387 00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:36,640 them better than what I've been able to do and what, you know, what, what we're able 388 00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:38,400 to produce here, like why not? 389 00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:43,920 Yep. I can't fully validate or engage on that without stealing the mic. Um, you know, or, 390 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:47,600 or derailing the story. Cause their stories are quite different, although there is a lot 391 00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:51,920 of parallel, but I don't, I don't want to do that because the audience who's listening 392 00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:56,280 in like those, you guys that are eating this story up, um, some of you are going to gravitate 393 00:32:56,280 --> 00:33:00,160 tremendously towards Thomas's background and what he's going through and overcoming the 394 00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:04,400 underlying principle that I hear on my side, um, in relation to showing up better as a 395 00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:11,160 father is you are working on being your best self, right? You're working on improvements 396 00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:17,120 on your own being, knowing that if you get your oxygen mask on, then you have more capacity 397 00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:22,800 to be able to help others put their oxygen masks on. And for me, I'd gravitate towards 398 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:28,200 the scripture of that. It's like love God as I, you know, love God and love thy neighbor 399 00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:32,800 as thou lovest thyself. Like you have to go to love yourself in order to really love 400 00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:37,080 your neighbor. And so mine's a little bit more frou-frou way, I guess you could say 401 00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:40,480 in that regard, but those of you listening in right now, Thomas, I want you to do me 402 00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:44,280 a favor. I want you to hold your bicep up. Um, you know, there are people, go ahead and 403 00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:47,440 hold the bicep up. Let's see that monster, right? So there's people, we'll hold mine 404 00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:51,040 up too, right? This is not a monster. Oh, come on, man. Stay up there with me. Let's 405 00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:54,720 compare this thing. This one, this one we tore up last year, so I can't show you that 406 00:33:54,720 --> 00:34:00,560 one. There you go. So there are people who will only listen to Thomas versus listen to 407 00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:05,120 me because of the size of that massive bicep. And that's okay. And there are other people, 408 00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:08,640 let's compare hair links here. Um, there are other people who are going to say, well, he's 409 00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:11,840 got short hair, so he's a smarter one. You know, this guy's got long hair. He's just 410 00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:15,680 an imitation of Jesus. Oh, we're not at this point. And then there's people who will say, 411 00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:20,320 well, that guy's got a beard. In fact, my eight year old, when she was four, one of 412 00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:27,680 her favorite phrases was daddy, that, that man can't come to my birthday party. Uh, she 413 00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:32,320 had a fear of, of bearded men, right? And then there's this little, there's a little 414 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:36,240 kid on the back of the motorcycle, right? And he waves at her. And, and finally I got 415 00:34:36,240 --> 00:34:40,880 like a hundred times a minute. She goes, daddy, that man can come to my birthday party. Uh, 416 00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:45,920 like, okay, cool. But we have, we have these, we have these judgments, we have these 417 00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:50,000 preconditions where we got to hear something from somebody that's kind of like us or it 418 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:55,440 looks a certain way. And that's okay. It is what it is. But my hope is that everybody 419 00:34:55,440 --> 00:35:00,640 can catch the underlying principles that exist. So it doesn't matter if it's alcohol, 420 00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:05,520 um, alcohol, sure. There's some addictive realities to it. There's, there's certain 421 00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:10,960 dangers that exist with it, but I fear for the people who don't recognize the dangers 422 00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:18,400 of Netflix. And, and I love Netflix, but I'm, I'm much more prone. I haven't ever had alcohol 423 00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:23,600 in my life. I come from an alcoholic family. I know the devastations I got picked on for 424 00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:27,920 not taking it. The picked on net net, like that made me resilient and say, screw you guys. 425 00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:33,680 I'm not doing it. Um, you know, and so that's a, there's like a personal Vin, like personal 426 00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:38,800 matter there, vendetta almost that tells me, no, no, I really have no interest. Um, and 427 00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:43,280 ever figuring that out. That doesn't make me better. Yeah. It doesn't make anybody worse. 428 00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:51,360 But again, my fear is for those who downplay the reality that Netflix can be even more toxic than 429 00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:59,200 alcohol can itself or ESPN or fantasy football, or you answer any good thing that distracts you 430 00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:05,760 from greatness. Good is the enemy of great, not bad. Um, so there's opportunities there as fathers 431 00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:09,680 to say, well, um, you know, I would, I would say the only thing I would say about showing up as a 432 00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:15,120 father and from my perspective is I just, I want to individually be there for my children 433 00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:21,760 based on what their needs are in the present, right? Here and now not overwhelm myself with 434 00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:26,240 the future. Um, you know, but know that for me, they're, they're in God's hand regarding the 435 00:36:26,240 --> 00:36:31,200 future, but I got to show up the best I can today. And if I don't, I got to get back on that track 436 00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:37,040 as fast as I can. And to me, that's what that's what fatherhood is all about on my end. So let's 437 00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:41,440 dive in to, let's switch gears a little bit. We're gonna go for the business folk. Um, you know, 438 00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:46,560 let's dive back in for those, those who want that stuff. Um, we don't have a lot of time, 439 00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:50,640 so I'm trying to, I want you to come back. You're okay with that. I'd love to have you come back 440 00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:56,240 for another episode in the future. Um, that way we're not rushing anything, but I think we can, 441 00:36:56,240 --> 00:37:00,880 let's, in fact, I want you to pick worst leadership experience, best leadership experience, 442 00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:07,680 or most powerful lesson. Which ones do we reserve for later? Uh, worst leadership experience. 443 00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:12,240 I go with the worst leadership experience. Let's do that. All right. So diving in, 444 00:37:12,240 --> 00:37:19,040 what is the worst leadership experience that you've ever had, Thomas? Um, I've been fired 445 00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:28,640 once in my life. Okay. And, um, yep. And, uh, the, the leader of that illustrious company 446 00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:35,280 fired me over a Facebook DM. Oh yeah. That's, that's real weak. Yeah. Um, I don't recommend 447 00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:39,920 that to anyone period. The end. Uh, don't, don't ever end a relationship over some kind of 448 00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:46,160 electronic device. If you're a decent human, have a conversation with the other human. And if you 449 00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:53,120 can do it face to face, do so look, I'm, are you saying all these breakup texts that people are 450 00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:59,680 sending in relationships without ever talking and having it, they're about exit strategy, right? 451 00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:06,080 Like, like actually having a legitimate conversation with mutual respect intact that I see almost no 452 00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:10,320 business owners gravitate towards. So yeah, go ahead. Have the conversation. Don't be a coward. 453 00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:14,800 I love that. That's it. It's pretty simple. Uh, but that was probably the worst leadership 454 00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:20,160 experience that I had. Um, you know, I've done this seesaw, right? Where I've gone and worked 455 00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:24,480 for myself and then either that business failed or it did great. And then boom, I'm working for 456 00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:28,160 somebody else for a couple of years and back for myself and this, this roller coaster ride. So, 457 00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:34,400 um, I've had a good number of leaders that I've worked for and always pull good information and 458 00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:38,240 quality from them. And some of them you get good stuff from some of them you get bad. So let me get 459 00:38:38,240 --> 00:38:44,480 both. And I like to take those experiences with me. Okay. What are the really good, amazing things 460 00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:49,600 I learned from this person? How do we, how do we put our personal twist on that and then roll it 461 00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:54,880 out in our lives and businesses moving forward? Right. At the same point in time, what are they 462 00:38:54,880 --> 00:39:00,640 doing? What lessons have I learned here that I 1000% will never take part in ever again, because 463 00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:06,480 it was a terrible experience and it doesn't align with my value system here. Right. So that's one 464 00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:10,080 thing that I'm looking out for too. And you know, the big thing I want to highlight about your 465 00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:14,000 situation though, too. And I think you're going to be in agreement if you're not body slamming. 466 00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:21,120 Cool. I want it. Um, so Tommy, you're not designed to work with weak leaders though. 467 00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:25,760 And I think that's one of the challenges on that too, right? And that, that worst leadership side, 468 00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:28,560 it's like you had a weak leader who could not handle it. And don't get me wrong, you're scared 469 00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:34,160 you, you know, like you're an alpha. Um, you know, it's, it's not, it takes a lot of, uh, of cojones. 470 00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:39,840 Um, what's the word I'm looking for? Bravery. Um, you know, to, to die. I'm avoiding the one 471 00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:45,120 that got me fired, by the way, um, the phrase that got me fired by the CEO of lifetime fitness. Um, 472 00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:48,720 but nonetheless, he, he had a little bit better reason. I didn't send a private message. I 473 00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:54,560 accidentally sent a company wide message. Um, so he had the right, um, I'll shake his hand someday. 474 00:39:54,560 --> 00:40:01,840 Point is back to you. If you're misaligned or back to leadership, if you're working with a leadership 475 00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:07,040 who is small, who are small, who are weak, then they're not going to be able to handle the truth. 476 00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:12,960 They're not going to be able to handle whatever you said in that direct message. So how, um, 477 00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:17,200 is there a less, am I right about that? Is there a lesson to be learned on like, no, you gotta work 478 00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:22,480 with championship level people. Yeah, you do. You do. Um, there were signs there that I just wasn't 479 00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:27,920 paying attention to, you know, it was at a company, I was making great money. We were having, we were 480 00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:32,080 very successful in the things that we were achieving. Overall, I worked with a really good, 481 00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:37,760 solid team of people that were high level producers and the people who took action. Um, but there were 482 00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:42,400 signs from the leadership that I was kind of turning a blind eye to because all of that other 483 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:48,400 stuff was so good. And the lesson there is no, we've got to look at all of this. We've got to come 484 00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:53,600 in from, from a 30,000 foot view and look at this from with a holistic lens and say, okay, no, let's 485 00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:59,200 look at the whole picture of what's going on here. Not just focus on what's good. And we got to have 486 00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:05,680 leaders that want that they're willing to do that. And that is a very rare comment. I've been fired 487 00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:11,600 a lot, um, you know, and I'm not touting that as like, oh yeah, this is how it should know. Um, but 488 00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:17,440 if you're working with somebody who refuses to turn a blind eye to the problems and that wants 489 00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:22,800 to address those for the sake of improvement, then you know, you have a choice as a leader. 490 00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:28,800 Do you hide from that and say, you know, oh man, I don't, I hope nobody discovers that you can't 491 00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:34,400 bury a lie. You can't bury the truth. Um, you can try and it might get you somewhere for a little 492 00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:40,400 while, but you're, you're just delaying a much, much worse problem if you don't take care of it 493 00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:44,080 in the here and now. So that's neat that you were willing to send the direct message. I hope you 494 00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:50,320 didn't stop sending direct messages as the opportunity for, for resolving that. Um, is, 495 00:41:50,320 --> 00:41:53,360 I dunno, is that what you did? Do you now no longer send those types of messages or, 496 00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:58,560 or did you have something to learn as well in that experience? Did you say something? 497 00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:06,560 No, I've done that before. Trust me. Yeah. Um, that message was sent to me. I didn't send it. 498 00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:11,920 So, uh, yeah, that was definitely a little correction there, but no. Okay. So, 499 00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:16,480 so they, they didn't just come at you because you, they were mad at a message you sent. That's just 500 00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:21,680 the chosen. Oh, they were just mad at me and wanted me gone from the company. So they fired me over a 501 00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:29,360 direct message. Oh my gosh. That's embarrassing for them. That's embarrassing. All right, let's go. 502 00:42:30,240 --> 00:42:34,720 We can, we can move past that one. Uh, we got a little bit of extra time. So let's dive into 503 00:42:34,720 --> 00:42:41,040 what is the best leadership experience that you've ever had. Uh, several years ago, 504 00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:46,080 I failed miserably with my first company was in a financial hole. And I had a friend of a friend 505 00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:51,840 who owned it. And I come from the automotive space, spent 20 plus years in the, uh, custom aftermarket 506 00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:58,240 car audio industry, had a gentleman who was a friend of a friend and he had a very successful 507 00:42:58,240 --> 00:43:03,600 automotive accessory shop. Um, excuse me, about an hour from where I was living at the time on the 508 00:43:03,600 --> 00:43:08,080 East end of the long Island. And this guy is still a friend to this day. Matter of fact, uh, mother's 509 00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:12,800 day, I went back to New York to see my mom and took a, an hour or so drive and went out to see 510 00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:17,280 Jimmy and Jimmy's a great dear friends of this day. And he's, he's a guy who said, Hey man, 511 00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:22,320 you're in a spot right now. It's clear to me. I can see it. You're talented at what you do. I 512 00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:27,120 want you to come and work for me, but I'm not going to force you to either. And this guy, the 513 00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:32,640 moment that I said yes, even before I said yes, he was very willing to help me out more so than 514 00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:37,760 most people were open the house, his house to me. Hey, I know this is far from where you're, you're 515 00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:43,040 living. We have weather up here in the Northeast occasionally. Uh, since you're here, I consider 516 00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:48,720 you a team member and a family member of mine. Here's the keys to my house. Uh, this, this one 517 00:43:48,720 --> 00:43:53,360 lower level is open. It's furnished. We got stuff in there and goes, you don't have to ask you come 518 00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:59,440 in and use this place as needed. So that to me was, okay, this is someone who truly cares about 519 00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:07,440 that. The Lakers with LeBron James, every great franchise and sports dynasty of all time does 520 00:44:07,440 --> 00:44:12,800 that when they're recruiting yet business owners completely butcher that over and over. So good. 521 00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:18,800 Keep going. I like this Jimmy guy. Happy Mother's Day by the way. Yes. How was I introduced to him? 522 00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:23,040 No, I said, happy Mother's Day to you. I said, you can keep going with the story. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. 523 00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:28,880 So this is the example of recruiting and so many business owners fell at it. They wonder why they 524 00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:34,960 end up with crappy labor. Well, you're a crappy recruiter. You're going to get people who show up 525 00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:40,800 without super enthusiasm. Let me talk to you about recruiting with him for a moment. Okay. So now I've 526 00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:46,080 got my first company. I'm five years in and the writings on the wall that this thing is not 527 00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:50,880 sustainable. And I just, I haven't made that tough decision yet because it's a tough one, especially 528 00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:57,760 when it's your baby. And, um, he knows we have a phone conversation and he goes, look, he goes, uh, 529 00:44:57,760 --> 00:45:03,840 and I was dating my ex-wife at the time. He goes, you and your girl, he goes, come out to my house, 530 00:45:03,840 --> 00:45:08,320 Sunday morning. And he goes, I'm going to cook breakfast for you guys. And we'll have a conversation. 531 00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:13,840 We'll get to know each other a little bit. Okay. So got in the car bright and early drove out to 532 00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:19,120 his house an hour and a half or so from where I was. And, um, the man fed us like we were king and 533 00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:24,160 queen, right? Cooked the breakfast for us. His wife was there. Two of his kids who were running 534 00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:28,880 around in diapers were there. Now I was young at the time. I was, I don't know, 25, 26 years old. 535 00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:33,520 And, you know, seeing how he operated, seeing the house that he had and the things that he had built 536 00:45:33,520 --> 00:45:38,480 because of business ownership was like, okay, this is something that intrigues me. I'd like to do this 537 00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:45,600 one day, but seeing how he, his hospitality towards me, towards my woman at the time, him opening the 538 00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:49,760 doors to us, Hey, if you don't want to drive home tonight, too, and he said this the first day, you 539 00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:53,200 don't want to drive home tonight. He goes, we got this, this spare house on the other side of the 540 00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:59,200 property. You guys can stay there all you want to. Right. So this, from the very get-go, this man 541 00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:05,120 opened up aspects of himself and his life to me and still does so to this very day and say, he's 542 00:46:05,120 --> 00:46:12,240 one of the people that I know for a fact, if the poop hit the fan today and all the money disappeared, 543 00:46:12,240 --> 00:46:17,840 I can call him up and say, Hey, I'm in a situation. I need you to wire me 10 K. And he wouldn't even 544 00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:22,720 ask. He'd say, okay, send over your routing and your bank account information to me. And I'm like, 545 00:46:22,720 --> 00:46:26,080 I'll send you my information and I'll have it over to you in a little while. Like that's the, 546 00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:30,960 that's the kind of guy he is. And that's just the way that he operates, but being around a leader 547 00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:36,640 like him has a vetting process too, for that he does. He's a, he's a wise steward, which is how 548 00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:42,080 you end up with those types of properties and houses and things like that. So there's a, there's 549 00:46:42,080 --> 00:46:47,280 a lot of realities, not lackadaisical about it by any means I can, I don't know the intentional, 550 00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:54,000 if the intentionality is something that I hope more visionaries and more people striving to build 551 00:46:54,800 --> 00:47:00,080 model and hear this and say, you know what, what can I do in my life to emulate what Jimmy's doing? 552 00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:06,000 Even if I don't have those, that level of assets, you haven't, you have, we're in a competitive field 553 00:47:06,880 --> 00:47:11,760 where almost nobody's trying when it comes to recruiting, you know, the recruiting methods 554 00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:16,800 are how much does it cost, which is the equivalent of like, Oh, what's the least amount I can pay you 555 00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:21,760 Thomas? You know, like we have such bad recruiting strategies and entrepreneurs as visionaries. 556 00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:27,040 And until we start to think through how to take care of people, you know, the, the, the business 557 00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:33,920 world is going to continue to struggle. Yeah. I agree. I love the story. Love that story. Well, 558 00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:37,600 very good. We're going to wrap up on that because I do want to make sure to honor the rest of the 559 00:47:37,600 --> 00:47:44,160 questions that we have. You are emulating consistency. I've seen it. The authenticity too, 560 00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:49,280 just talking about these stories, being able to dive deep, imperfect action. Um, you know, we, 561 00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:54,000 all human beings are living, breathing examples of that, but you and I aren't shy of talking about 562 00:47:54,000 --> 00:48:01,840 that. I hope more people feel inspired to be able to, to put their voice to that. And I hope you 563 00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:06,000 build the community of people around you who are going to support you and build you up when you do 564 00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:10,720 it, not roast you and tear you down. That is another key factor. Thomas is one of those people 565 00:48:10,720 --> 00:48:15,440 who I think would be like a Jimmy to you and your corner. If you're listening, please reach out to 566 00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:19,440 him. Feel free to reach out to me as well. Other leaders who've been on the show, we're building 567 00:48:19,440 --> 00:48:24,880 a massive community of people who want to support others and help people grow. We'll have the, the 568 00:48:24,880 --> 00:48:29,360 action steps below this show as well. So you guys can connect with Thomas. We'll have a social media 569 00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:34,400 link. So it's easy to connect with them there. We'll also put these references, uh, that he gave 570 00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:39,280 Thomas. I don't always do this, but in this case I will. Um, final words of wisdom. How do you want 571 00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:45,200 to close the show? Uh, it's a little statement that I live by small steps forward daily. And you know, 572 00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:48,800 we have our good days, we have our bad days, and even on the bad days, we have to make forward 573 00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:53,040 progress and it doesn't make a difference how much progress we make as long as we have that forward 574 00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:59,280 progress. Small steps daily. My friends, if a big man can claim that and show that that's the way to 575 00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:06,480 do it and pretty much all the greats of all time, point that out at step by step, precept by precept, 576 00:49:06,480 --> 00:49:12,080 choose your book, um, your religious book of choice. You will see that principle has been a 577 00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:16,080 highlight of success for many great people throughout the decades. Thomas, thanks for 578 00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:19,520 your wisdom, man. And everybody who's listening and we'll see you on the next episode of Vision 579 00:49:19,520 --> 00:49:23,680 Pros Live. Thank you for being here today. I'm really happy that you tuned into Vision Pros Live. 580 00:49:23,680 --> 00:49:28,800 I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions as these episodes continue to move forward. This is 581 00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:32,880 going to get more and more fun. We'll have more and more engagement as well. We'll invite people 582 00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:38,560 to participate in the show and thank you for giving us your time and attention. Have an excellent time building out.