about, which was, you know, hey, and it's not for everyone. Business isn't everything.
And I think, you know, yeah, I know. Wow. Right. You look back in history, I mean, like,
for instance, I did, I just started listening to this podcast that Tucker Carlson put out
a week or two ago, a brother and sister. They're both both groups, super wealthy, very highly
educated Stanford and Harvard Business School graduates, one's a doctor, and one one to
start becoming a lobbyist. And they talked about all of this, the problems that we have
with our food source here in the country now. And it got me thinking, like, are we feeding
all this junk to our kids? And then we're wondering why they're having all these problems.
And look, look at us, like, you know, our age, it's like, okay, I bet you a lot of the
problems we had growing up that we didn't realize were problems came from this garbage
food source. So, you know, going back to the topic before, which is like, hey, let's let's
reprioritize some of our efforts, energies, resources to focusing more on what truly matters,
the family, the kids, that to me is now becoming a bigger part of it. Right? Like, like my
woman right now is in the middle of a 10 day cleanse to rid her body of toxins and poisons
that have been debilitating her since January. Right. And a lot of that is because of this
garbage food source that we've put into ourselves. So if we can focus some time and effort and
energy into bringing in better quality nutrients that we can feed ourselves with, if I myself,
like, I'm a coaching consultant in the business world, but I'm also a coach here at home to
my kids and my family. I'm the leader. So if I can show them, hey, there's a better way
to do it than what I went through, because that's what coaching is, by the way. Right.
Let me show you now. Let's, let's go into this health and fitness realm. Let's talk about
working out what's healthy, what's not healthy for the body. And, you know, I just, I'm not
mad at my parents for not giving me that information, but they did the best they could with the
information provided to them. It was a different generation when I was brought up, especially
with my parents. Right. But now knowing what I know, I can't rightfully feed my kids some
of the stuff that I have been feeding them in the past. Right. And expecting a different
results than, than what was me when I grew up.
Yeah, absolutely. And the, the parental aspect, right. I don't think I'll give my dad the
benefit of the doubt that he did the best that he could. But he did what he thought
was right. Right. I don't think he intentionally did things wrong. I know, I can only speak
for myself on that. I spent years not being my best, right. Just kind of go into the motions,
doing things because I knew it was supposed to do them. There was a learning curve that
I went through and maybe the rest of people in life don't go through that, but I can honestly
admit there was years where I was kind of half-assing stuff. I mean, we're not doing
certain things or knowing things and saying, I'm not going to do that. So every generation
has those challenges of what they've learned and what they provided. And what I love about
what you're talking about is just providing the grace, you know, to say, Hey, they gave
me good out of this and I'm going to build upon it. I'm going to do something better
for my next generation and see if I can learn from this. So that is that, and you talk about
coaching. Everybody's a coach. You're like, Jackson, you coach. And I'm like, maybe. I'm
like, I'm yeah, you sure you though, right? They want to put you in a box. And it's like,
well, I'm, I'm a son. I'm a brother. I'm a husband. They don't know I'm an ex-husband
now. You know, I'm a lot of other adjectives and I love to show up and help. Do I need
a label to do that? No, we don't. So this is, this conversation is going to be about
busy authenticity, imperfect action. Thomas Keenan has become a friend from a distance.
We don't get to talk very often. We're too busy both producing and going to help the
people that are in our circles. He's got this concept of worth per hour too, that I'm a
big fan of his design for the buckets that are associated with that. They're concepts
that so many, even, even advanced executives and entrepreneurs lose sight of and forget
to define and forget that, Oh man, I need to pay attention to am I putting my time and
attention in the right areas? He's going to bless us with some wisdom and knowledge on
that. Now, before we cut to the break though, Thomas, three resources, what are three resources
that you recommend for other visionary leaders out there? Resources, huh? Yeah. We want to
talk about books. We want to talk about podcasts. Want to get specific here? You're the man.
All of the above your choice on those three resources. I'll give you a couple of books
that have really changed my mind in the way that I operate and do things. Entree of leadership
by Mr. Dave Ramsey, fantastic book. And I don't care what you think about his financial
advice. That's a fantastic book. We've got, uh, is what I just had at the tip of my tongue.
Essentialism by Greg McEwen. Essentialism. That is a fantastic book that really changed
my perspective on a lot of things. Um, and it's probably the two most impactful, important
ones. And I'll leave it at that right there. Cause those are two completely different books.
And I recommend that anyone go ahead and dive into them, right? It's like essentialism is
how to get rid of the trivial, trivial many in this and focus on the essential few. So
basically less is more. It's that concept, but the author dives in really deep and explains
it in a way that just for me, I was, I was able to absorb it and understand it way better
than any other version of that concept that had been presented to me. Um, and you know,
with the clients that I work with, one of the things is like, Hey, you're going to come
work with me. And it's funny, you know, the first coach that I ever hired, I laughed in
his face when he told me this, he's like, Hey, if you're going to work with me, you're
going to read. That was like, okay, with what time? And you know, here I am. I don't know.
It's 10, 12 years later. And like, I've got a shelf behind me books. I've got three or
four more of these spread out throughout the remainder of the house of other books that
I've read. I just can't fit over here anymore. And God only knows how many of these books
that I've given out to others. Cause I know they're in need and like, Hey, that book's
going to help you right now. So yeah, get your butt to reading. I think is more important
than actually what to read. I love it. I love it because yeah, you learn to read and now
you can expand into other areas of wisdom. I love the minimalist approach, the focus,
the laser focus of being able to focus in on these two books. And admittedly, I have
never read either one of those books. So now they get to go on my marketing list on my,
my Amazon. It's like my, I don't know, it's a bookcase of things that I need to buy in
the near future. Dave Ramsey, glad you mentioned about the financials and what people may think
there. Guys, there's levels to finance. That's all there is to it. Oh, I mean, and Dave spends
a lot of time teaching more of the basic principles of finances. And so to, to blame a second
grade teacher for teaching calculus wrong, you know, or, or accuse him of, of thinking
that calculus doesn't matter. It's just kind of silly. It's just, it's just kind of a funny
fight that exists out there, but does he get things wrong? Maybe, but I'm not out in the
world counting people's wrongs. I'm not in the world producing results along with Thomas
and Dave, and we hope you join us. So we'll be right back. We'll dive into Thomas's vision
after a quick break. All right. Welcome in to vision pros live with Jackson Callum. I'm
your show host. We will be doing interviews for visionary entrepreneurs and guest leaders
who are building fantastic visions out there. What is up and welcome into another episode
of vision pros live. I'm your show host, Jackson Callum, founder and CEO of first class business.
And I'm really excited to have Thomas Keenan on the stage today. This man's built like
Tony Robbins from a powerful stature standpoint. He's also in Texas with me, which also bumps
him way up the list. And I just, I love his tenacity and the way he's getting after life.
I love his authenticity. We're also both single single fathers and man, we, we got to carry
the torch together. Um, that's just, that's just how that works. There's a lot of opportunity
for single father. If you know a single father, tag them in this episode and, you know, allow
them to hear what other people are doing in relation to the challenges they go through.
That's my first shout out is please tag a single father in this. We need communities
to unite so that we become our best selves as well. Um, so before we move in and we talked
to Thomas about his vision, I want to give a couple of resources away that are super
helpful and important. Some of them in the form of sponsorships, we've got hard to kill
with Dave Morrow, hardtokill.org is helping a hundred thousand veterans lose 2 million
pounds collectively. Uh, why? What's the right thing to do? But on the tragedy side, a lot
of veterans come home and they fall into a depression. They kind of lose sight of their
identity and who they are. They don't have the workout routines and the health plans.
Uh, watch a movie like thank you for your service. Very gut wrenching movie to watch,
by the way. Uh, and, and try to understand what these soldiers who fight for our freedom
go through. Well, Dave's carrying the microphone and torch to help them get back on their feet,
make sure they're staying in shape or just make the transition easier for those veterans.
And we love what he's built. So we're also part of his team at hard to kill. And he's
got the world's easiest workout program in the world. And then he's got veterans fit
AF community open to those who serve in the armed forces and civilians alike. So I have
some fun in there, uh, getting myself in shape too, which is awesome. It's been a long time.
Then there's magic productions. Magic productions comes from, excuse me, Peyton Childers, Peyton
Childers, uh, he's a very, very equipped AV specialist. If you've got events coming up
or you've got a vision and you're building a networking thing, you want somebody to come
help you with the production process of that, uh, it can make your event evergreen and it
can put you in a position to where the videos that you produce through that, that he produces
through that rather gives you the B roll necessary to really make your brand stand out. And also
he makes it inclusionary to where your event can be streamed alive and you can do live
interactions with people who are not able to physically attend. There's Peyton right
there. His hospitality is phenomenal, especially for his age. One of the great things about
hiring somebody that's as tenacious and hospitable at 25 years old is he still got a lot to prove
and he knows it. So he comes to bat and works very hard for what he does. We loved everything
about how he helped us with our event. And just a couple of fun facts. He was on the
championship video production team for Sam Houston university when they won their football
championship and he was on the Texas Rangers baseball production team when they won championships.
He has the Midas touch when it comes to championship teams. So definitely take a look at what he's
up to. And then there's a water project. I don't have my water bottle with me. I usually
like to have it for this segment because well, we just, we're just that fortunate guys. If
you're listening to this micro, if you listen to me talk on this podcast, you probably have
access to clean drinking water. So when I found out there's millions of people who do
not have access to that, I refuse to forget about it. It's like, you know what? I can,
I can do something about this. I can help myself. I can help by donating to it, but
I can also help by spreading the word. These, these children, these parents, imagine having
to leave school to get water for the community or imagine having to leave work and how your
boss would feel about that to go get water for your community. The water project focuses
on remote areas of Africa that do not have access to the resources to really, really
help themselves. But then they don't come in and just solve the problem. They teach
the community how to solve the problem. And as you notice these kids, they celebrate water
like my kids celebrate Christmas day. We can do so much more. My friends, there's 8 billion
people in this world to help. And I hope that you join me in the efforts, whether it's through
the water project or another project that you want to see supported. If something's
like shouting at you and you're like, Jackson, I wish you'd talk about this instead, drop
a comment, let us know what that causes. You never know. I might put that on the show as
well and talk about that cause. We got to band together and help people in this world.
That's what it's all about. So without further ado, Thomas Keenan, thank you for joining
me on vision pros live. Let's start right in. Let's go. Awesome. So what is, what's
your vision for the people that you're serving, Thomas? Basically this, um, I've come to the
realization, this is a couple of years ago that I was put here to help other people succeed
in business and life. And if you asked me this two years ago, I would have left the
life part out because it was just business. That's where we're comfortable. That's what
we talk about. We've had some success there. We've had failures there. We have experienced
there. And you know, you and I have had conversations off the air where it's like, Hey, you know,
you and I, we've been through some, some crap, right? And that crap also gives us life experience
and the life experience allows us to help others who are potentially going through something
more. I don't want to be a, um, uh, therapist. I'm not licensed to be a therapist. That's
not an area of expertise. However, what this has done is it allows me to come in and help
my clients in their business. But when, when the poop hits the fan, which it's going to
happen if it hasn't happened at some point in your life, it also allows me to stand in
it with them and say, Hey, I know it's complete chaos right now. I know you're not happy.
This is, it's the whole world is spinning and going crazy, but trust me, if we stick
through this together, I will stay with you. I will be a supporter. I've been through this
before you will be okay. If I can do that for someone, like someone has been able to
do that for me countless times, then at the end of the day, man, it's, it's just good.
That fulfills me inside as a human being. And if I feel fulfilled inside as a human
being, it allows me to then give more to others. Absolutely. You know, it's, it's funny. I
hadn't thought of this analogy until you just talked about the business and life aspect.
I'm eating that up and marinating on it because I'm a big fan. I've always been life before
business always yet. And many instances I can walk circles around the business people
who are all business and you know, the, Oh, let me see your track rate. You can look at
my track record. And I'm happy to look at that and talk to anybody about it. And it's
probably gonna make you pee your pants. I don't know if we dive into those details, but it
reminds me of those ninja movies, right? The grand master who never has to swing at the
opponent. It's always one step ahead. And it's like, Nope, like you as much as you try
to posture as business, business, business, grind it out. It's all gotta be business.
Let's go. You have to like, let's control you and turn you into a business robot. You
don't have to do that. You know, there's a life side too. And leaning into the life side
creates a new series of abundance. It doesn't guarantee results. You still got challenges
that are going to hit. As you mentioned, the poop's going to hit the fan. Entrepreneurship
as Scott Galloway said, I think that's his last name, Ted talk. But in his interview
with Christopher Williams, I think it was Christopher Williamson, great podcast, something
about wisdom said entrepreneurship is you just got to be ready to eat as many spoonfuls
as poop as possible. I mean, that's entrepreneurship is. And I was like, that is so unfortunately
valid, you know, and real. So how, how did you switch from business centric to realizing,
Oh boy, there's, there's more things to life than this. What was that like?
Having good people to support me and in my corner. I don't know about what your experience
has been, but I've always had people, even if I'm living in a different state, not local
to them, where if something is going wrong in my life, they have this innate ability
to sense it and reach out and say, Hey, you good. And like a lot of others, I've also
lied on occasion and been like, yeah, everything's great. Making money, grinding business is
great. Things are moving. And then you have those, those, those really good friends who
were like, yeah, that's cool. Business may be great, but what else is going on? And they
dive deeper and you start peeling back the layers. And it took, it took some friends
like that to call me out of my own BS over the last couple of years. So for me, I'm real
big with proximity, right? Proximity opens doors and relationships with others, but it
also closes and ends some past relationships. And sometimes for the better, sometimes for
the worse. So in my own personal experiences, I'm a born and raised New Yorker born and
raised in Long Island, New York, spent my first 40 years there. Okay. September 20th
of 20, September 25th of 2020, I moved here to North Dallas. Right. So I make this transition,
right? I exit one company that was successful. Come down here and was like, well, I don't
know. I want to figure something out and do something real soon and we'll get there. And
it wound up becoming step it up Academy. Um, and went in and actually consulted for another
large company for quite some time, spent nearly two years there, built out some really cool
things and it required all of me and then some, and I don't regret it, but it required
me to be in that business mode turned on 24 seven and over the 20 months of my time spent
there, made great money, made good connections, did some really cool things, got to travel
a lot. So I don't have anything bad to say about that, but what it did was it took so
much of my time away that I had lost the personal connections inside the relationship with my
now ex wife. I wasn't showing up like the dad that I should be. And I was a present
father, so don't get me wrong, but I wasn't showing up a hundred percent. And the biggest
one that I got called out on from a really close friend, right? It was, Hey, um, what
are you doing for joy? And I was like, Oh, and you know, I had all of these things that
I was doing on a pretty regular basis when I was living in New York. Like I grew up,
I loved the outdoors. I liked to hunt. I liked to shoot. I like, I like archery. These are
things that I would do on a regular basis. I moved here and all those things went out
the window because business was business and it was important. And we have to go focus
on that because there's fires out over here and we got to go take care of them. And if
you do that for too long, you wind up sacrificing the things that you truly care for that do
bring you that joy. And it was a very slow transition. It took about two and a half,
almost three years. And I woke up one day and was like, Oh my God, what is going on
here? And it was like, Hey, someone called me out a while ago on it. And sometimes we're
not ready to hear when that person calls us out and we have to stumble upon it or uncover
it for ourselves. And sometimes that person comes and says, I told you so. Right. Yeah.
So that's, that's, that's been a big chunk of my experience with it. And you know, I
don't know about you, but the way that I operate is once I get clarity, once I see something,
I cannot see it. Yeah. And clarity breeds decision. Okay, great. Now that we're clear
that we're missing joy, you stop doing some of these things that do bring you joy that
you thoroughly enjoy as well. What are you going to do to fix it? And now you start digging
through and peeling up other layers of the onion. And it's like, Whoa, hold on a second
here. I thought this was a small issue over here. And this thing is massive. And when,
you know, it's I'll equate it to this. And for those of, uh, those of you who are listening,
who've ever worked, you know, construction, work on a house or a restore a car, you know,
you see a little bit of rust or you see a little bit of wood rot from termite damage
and whatnot. You know, like, ah, it's just a little bit piece. We've got to cut this
thing out. We'll replace it. And you start, you know, peeling off the sheet rock or you
grind off the paint on the car. And you're like, Oh man, not only is this thing rusty,
but it's filled with crappy auto body filler from some tech 20 years ago, who tried to
repair this and did a half ass job. So now to really repair this thing, we've got to
strip everything down to the studs, to the frame and rebuild from the get-go. And like,
I felt that's what transpired for me in my own life. It was like, okay, great. I understand
all the business side over here, but I spent so much time focused on the business that
the personal side, which was like, Oh yeah, I'm good. Always happy. Things are great.
Relationship with the wife's great. We never fight. And I was just sweeping all of this
stuff under the carpet until one day it was like, Hey, you can't do that anymore. And
once that clarity was achieved, it was like, all right, I've got to take action and I'm
an action taker. And the funny thing about me is this. I can go days, weeks without taking
massive action on something because in the business realm, we've built these systems
and processes that operate behind the scenes. Okay. And I know for a fact, you've got the
same thing going on to your companies. Oh yeah. Cool. But every so often it's like new
project came in or we get inspired to go do something. It's like, Oh, like, and now we're
in this go mode and we get things done and we take action and we make things happen rapidly.
That's the point that I got to on the personal side of the house. Like, okay, here's the
clarity. I see the issue and I'm not willing to wait to sit on this, to let it fester,
to get any worse. Like I'm going to take action now. And oftentimes when we do this, whether
it's in the business side of the house, the personal side of the house, people think that
we're making decisions out of haste. And in reality, you've been inside your own head
working this problem for three months, six months, a year. Yep. Right. But the outside
world is like, Whoa, that came out of left field, man. You sure you want to do that?
That's right. They see it as impulsive. A lot of times in it. That's why the outside
opinions they can be important to reflect on and to hear, but they shouldn't, they should
not deflect us from our own intuition. You know, in our intuition is one that if we exercise
it then we have a stronger sense of muscles of, okay, how strong is our intuition or is
it weak? Do we need to learn how to get back into that? So I mean, you brought up a whole
bunch of awesome opportunities. I'm like, well, I think I'm gonna have to skip color
commentating on most of it. Cause I was like, this is, that's a whole lot of awesome done
pack. You'd be a great stage presenter if you aren't already, man, you're ready for
the speaker's tour. So I mean that too. It's like, I take that and go, it takes a certain
personality to keynote and you got it. So the, the, the subject I want to dive into
that did not leave my heart and all of that. And I was like, I want to circle back to this
is fatherhood, right? So you talked about showing up. We talked about maybe not showing
up in the past. And I don't think there's any one universal definition of this. I think
that there's lots of, there's lots of paradigms based on the needs of the child, based on
the capacities of the father, based on the access that we have as well. Does our kid
have cancer? You know, does our child have a disability and learning? Is our child destined
for the Olympics? There, there's so many different realities that exist there. And so rather
than overgeneralizing Fox or CNN style, I like to open a little bit of a debate on this
and say first, like, you know, what is, what is showing up as a father? What does that
look like to you? And, and how are, what are some of the ways that we as fathers, like,
let's all do a personal inventory as dads on this, even moms, you're welcome to this
too. Like maybe where am I not showing up and how can I show up better? What are some
red flags that are in my blind spots that I might be missing? Let's hear it Thomas.
What's on your side?
Well, you got the basics that I think everyone knows about, but not everyone actually does
great with and myself included to this day. And that's, you know, Hey, I've got a kids
who are in soccer or some sports type events and we go to the event and we can't put down
the old elusive cell phone because you know, we're attached to it. We're staring at it.
Right. And like, I'm not great with it. I'll be fine. I'm honest with you. I'll give you
my version of it and what I found and what was the biggest piece for me. And it's this,
the catch to this is it is 100% acceptable by society. And when you go against it, people
are like, ah, you're acting kind of weird and funny. And actually when you start diving
into it, you talk about spirit, right? Yes. So if you want to do any reading, here's another
book recommendation, by the way, it's called food of the gods. You can add that one to
your list from earlier. Okay. I had a very dear close friend recommended this to me a
year and a half ago, read the book and there's a chapter in there that talks heavily about
alcohol. And the theory is that alcohol was put here on the planet to disconnect us from
spirit. Okay, cool. So now this has got my attention because I'm a daily drinker, right?
I wouldn't call myself an alcoholic at this point in time, but I'm someone at, and I've
now fixed this and I'll get into that in a second, but I'm someone who would come home
from work, right? And sometimes work was the home office. Sometimes work was going into
the office or the field, but come home from work. And what's acceptable by society is
to come home and crack open a cold beer or pour yourself a glass of wine or a vodka soda,
whatever your thing is. And before long, I come into this, this pattern and it was soon
after I got married, by the way, because now all of a sudden you're out in your own, you're
living, you're adults, you can make your own decisions. You're of legal age. This is legal
to do. And before long, now it turns into, I'm having between three and five or three
and six beverages a day. And are you feeling the effects from the alcohol? No, not at all.
Like I don't feel any worse. Don't feel any better. Just, it's the thing to do. It's like
muscle memory. Come home, pop open a beer. What I wind up realizing after years and years
and years and years and years of doing this, right? And this is part of the clarity that
I came across about a year and a half ago, almost two years ago. Yep. Alcohol disconnects
us from spirit, but it also, it makes you tired. So I'd come home, I'd have two or three
drinks and now my son wants to go outside and throw the football, throw the baseball.
And I'm like, Oh my God, I gotta get off my break. This one with this kid. That's not
the attitude that I want to show up with my kids for any one of them. So, okay, that's
a problem. And the more that I started reading and educating myself on this, I started seeing
all of these patterns and all these pieces that connected and everything led back to
the source, the root cause of alcohol being the problem. Okay. Well, what happens if we,
if we, if we get rid of alcohol now, um, someone who, who's pretty healthy at this point in
time, I guess I was about 37. I'll be 45 in October. I was about 37. I decided to start
taking my health and fitness a bit more seriously and, um, um, started, you know, going to the
gym regular basis and it was a long process then it's okay. Well, let's start watching
what goes in our mouth. But alcohol was one of those things that alcohol doesn't matter.
Just keep drinking it. So, um, Andy, if we sell it comes out with 75 part a whole bunch
of years ago and everyone's kind of jumping on a bandwagon and I said to myself, I knew
myself at the time, I am not mentally ready to take this on because I can't get rid of
alcohol for 75 days. Okay. Everything else that's on that list, I can, I can handle it.
So all right, cool. A year progresses and I don't know about you, but I'm always working
on myself and I hope that everyone who's listening to this is also working on themselves every
single day. A year progresses and now I'm a different person, mentally, physically,
emotionally, spiritually, all that stuff. And now I'm like, okay, I can, I can do this
now. And I thought that the alcohol was going to be the most difficult part of the 75 days
and it wasn't, it was actually the easiest. Okay. Cool. Good to know. I felt better, but
I went right back in day 76. I started drinking again. Okay. Follow this pattern. This is
2020 by the way, uh, 20, I do it again a couple more times, 2022, October through December.
I do another round of 75 hard. I got done with that round and I said, man, I've been
in the gym this whole time. My shoulders feel good. They're not inflamed. My knees aren't
swollen and inflamed. Um, like I'm not swollen in the midsection. And I, I was speaking to
a good buddy of mine who's my trainer at the time. And I said, Hey, like, you know, what
do you think this is? He goes, you idiot. Cause alcohol is an inflammatory. I was like,
Oh, you know something I totally forgot about that. And sometimes we need the basic reminders
in life too. So, okay, that makes sense. So I said to myself, you know what? I like this.
I like how I feel. I like when I get up in the morning and I don't like the hangover
or the brain fog and my body physically feels better. So we're onto something. And right
around the time is when I've also read that book, food of the gods. It's like, okay, a
couple of weeks go by new years, uh, progresses goes by. Uh, so 20, 20, 23 into 2020, uh,
sorry, 2022 into 2023. And I woke up a couple of days into it and I was like, you know what?
This just isn't serving me anymore. Okay. So I'm slowly eliminating and eradicating
this completely from my life. Now. Like I know I can, I can go 75 days and not touch
this stuff and it doesn't bother me. So now I'm, I'm doing more, more, uh, days and clips
three days here, five days there, three days here, five days there, seven days here. Life
comes at me pretty hard with some personal drama, uh, long story short here, a valet
driver took my truck and crashed it into a tree at 53 miles an hour and totaled it. Oh,
so, um, if anyone wants to see it go scroll through my social media from, uh, 20, 23 and
you'll see some pictures of it. Um, it's a, it's a story we could record an entire podcast
on Sarah. So I'm not going to dive into too much of the details. So yeah, this happens
and it was on my way to a speaking engagement, by the way, which I wound up not making because
a whole bunch of nonsense happened. Um, so I went home that night and stopped at the
local watering hole and had myself a bunch of adult beverages, woke up the next day,
feeling like garbage. And I said, all right, that is it. I'm done. And that was it. I made
the decision and I haven't consumed alcohol since then. Right. Wow. I'm not against alcohol.
If that's your thing, you want to do it. Cool. But I've also come to the realization of clarity,
clarity, decision, the clarity that I now have has led me to the decision of alcohol
is not for me at this current stage of my life. Yeah. I also was at the beginning stages
of knowing that I was going through some serious relationship troubles with my now ex-wife.
And I said to myself this, and you'll understand this as someone who's been through it yourself.
Um, I'm about to make some life altering decisions, not just for myself, but also for her and
also for the three kids that we've made who I love dearly. Yep. I don't want to come on
the backside of this, make decisions and say, wow, I made the wrong decision. And I probably
made the wrong decision because my brain was foggy courtesy of alcohol. Right. So let's
just eliminate that completely right now. Let's see how this goes. And it wasn't fun,
by the way, at all. Um, let's see how this goes. And then we'll reevaluate six months,
a year from now and we'll see what goes. And now I'm at the point where it's been removed
from my life for so long. I don't want it. I don't necessarily, I don't crave it. It's
not in my home. And it's also something that I'm not patterning and showing my children
that is acceptable on a daily basis. Look, I know for a fact for the most part that my
kids are going to grow up and they're going to go and they're going to have fun. Like
you and myself probably do when we're younger. I mean, I can guarantee you that I did it.
I don't know what your story is there. Um, but if, if I can, once again, you know, if
I can show the kids a better way to do this out of the gate and again, I'm not saying
my parents did anything wrong. They did the best that they could with what they had at
that time. But if I can show this next generation coming up, Hey, there's a better way to do
this. There's a better way with the food. There's a better way with the exercise. There's
a better way with, with the elimination of alcohol. Let's roll. Because if I can make
them better than what I've been able to do and what, you know, what, what we're able
to produce here, like why not?
Yep. I can't fully validate or engage on that without stealing the mic. Um, you know, or,
or derailing the story. Cause their stories are quite different, although there is a lot
of parallel, but I don't, I don't want to do that because the audience who's listening
in like those, you guys that are eating this story up, um, some of you are going to gravitate
tremendously towards Thomas's background and what he's going through and overcoming the
underlying principle that I hear on my side, um, in relation to showing up better as a
father is you are working on being your best self, right? You're working on improvements
on your own being, knowing that if you get your oxygen mask on, then you have more capacity
to be able to help others put their oxygen masks on. And for me, I'd gravitate towards
the scripture of that. It's like love God as I, you know, love God and love thy neighbor
as thou lovest thyself. Like you have to go to love yourself in order to really love
your neighbor. And so mine's a little bit more frou-frou way, I guess you could say
in that regard, but those of you listening in right now, Thomas, I want you to do me
a favor. I want you to hold your bicep up. Um, you know, there are people, go ahead and
hold the bicep up. Let's see that monster, right? So there's people, we'll hold mine
up too, right? This is not a monster. Oh, come on, man. Stay up there with me. Let's
compare this thing. This one, this one we tore up last year, so I can't show you that
one. There you go. So there are people who will only listen to Thomas versus listen to
me because of the size of that massive bicep. And that's okay. And there are other people,
let's compare hair links here. Um, there are other people who are going to say, well, he's
got short hair, so he's a smarter one. You know, this guy's got long hair. He's just
an imitation of Jesus. Oh, we're not at this point. And then there's people who will say,
well, that guy's got a beard. In fact, my eight year old, when she was four, one of
her favorite phrases was daddy, that, that man can't come to my birthday party. Uh, she
had a fear of, of bearded men, right? And then there's this little, there's a little
kid on the back of the motorcycle, right? And he waves at her. And, and finally I got
like a hundred times a minute. She goes, daddy, that man can come to my birthday party. Uh,
like, okay, cool. But we have, we have these, we have these judgments, we have these
preconditions where we got to hear something from somebody that's kind of like us or it
looks a certain way. And that's okay. It is what it is. But my hope is that everybody
can catch the underlying principles that exist. So it doesn't matter if it's alcohol,
um, alcohol, sure. There's some addictive realities to it. There's, there's certain
dangers that exist with it, but I fear for the people who don't recognize the dangers
of Netflix. And, and I love Netflix, but I'm, I'm much more prone. I haven't ever had alcohol
in my life. I come from an alcoholic family. I know the devastations I got picked on for
not taking it. The picked on net net, like that made me resilient and say, screw you guys.
I'm not doing it. Um, you know, and so that's a, there's like a personal Vin, like personal
matter there, vendetta almost that tells me, no, no, I really have no interest. Um, and
ever figuring that out. That doesn't make me better. Yeah. It doesn't make anybody worse.
But again, my fear is for those who downplay the reality that Netflix can be even more toxic than
alcohol can itself or ESPN or fantasy football, or you answer any good thing that distracts you
from greatness. Good is the enemy of great, not bad. Um, so there's opportunities there as fathers
to say, well, um, you know, I would, I would say the only thing I would say about showing up as a
father and from my perspective is I just, I want to individually be there for my children
based on what their needs are in the present, right? Here and now not overwhelm myself with
the future. Um, you know, but know that for me, they're, they're in God's hand regarding the
future, but I got to show up the best I can today. And if I don't, I got to get back on that track
as fast as I can. And to me, that's what that's what fatherhood is all about on my end. So let's
dive in to, let's switch gears a little bit. We're gonna go for the business folk. Um, you know,
let's dive back in for those, those who want that stuff. Um, we don't have a lot of time,
so I'm trying to, I want you to come back. You're okay with that. I'd love to have you come back
for another episode in the future. Um, that way we're not rushing anything, but I think we can,
let's, in fact, I want you to pick worst leadership experience, best leadership experience,
or most powerful lesson. Which ones do we reserve for later? Uh, worst leadership experience.
I go with the worst leadership experience. Let's do that. All right. So diving in,
what is the worst leadership experience that you've ever had, Thomas? Um, I've been fired
once in my life. Okay. And, um, yep. And, uh, the, the leader of that illustrious company
fired me over a Facebook DM. Oh yeah. That's, that's real weak. Yeah. Um, I don't recommend
that to anyone period. The end. Uh, don't, don't ever end a relationship over some kind of
electronic device. If you're a decent human, have a conversation with the other human. And if you
can do it face to face, do so look, I'm, are you saying all these breakup texts that people are
sending in relationships without ever talking and having it, they're about exit strategy, right?
Like, like actually having a legitimate conversation with mutual respect intact that I see almost no
business owners gravitate towards. So yeah, go ahead. Have the conversation. Don't be a coward.
I love that. That's it. It's pretty simple. Uh, but that was probably the worst leadership
experience that I had. Um, you know, I've done this seesaw, right? Where I've gone and worked
for myself and then either that business failed or it did great. And then boom, I'm working for
somebody else for a couple of years and back for myself and this, this roller coaster ride. So,
um, I've had a good number of leaders that I've worked for and always pull good information and
quality from them. And some of them you get good stuff from some of them you get bad. So let me get
both. And I like to take those experiences with me. Okay. What are the really good, amazing things
I learned from this person? How do we, how do we put our personal twist on that and then roll it
out in our lives and businesses moving forward? Right. At the same point in time, what are they
doing? What lessons have I learned here that I 1000% will never take part in ever again, because
it was a terrible experience and it doesn't align with my value system here. Right. So that's one
thing that I'm looking out for too. And you know, the big thing I want to highlight about your
situation though, too. And I think you're going to be in agreement if you're not body slamming.
Cool. I want it. Um, so Tommy, you're not designed to work with weak leaders though.
And I think that's one of the challenges on that too, right? And that, that worst leadership side,
it's like you had a weak leader who could not handle it. And don't get me wrong, you're scared
you, you know, like you're an alpha. Um, you know, it's, it's not, it takes a lot of, uh, of cojones.
Um, what's the word I'm looking for? Bravery. Um, you know, to, to die. I'm avoiding the one
that got me fired, by the way, um, the phrase that got me fired by the CEO of lifetime fitness. Um,
but nonetheless, he, he had a little bit better reason. I didn't send a private message. I
accidentally sent a company wide message. Um, so he had the right, um, I'll shake his hand someday.
Point is back to you. If you're misaligned or back to leadership, if you're working with a leadership
who is small, who are small, who are weak, then they're not going to be able to handle the truth.
They're not going to be able to handle whatever you said in that direct message. So how, um,
is there a less, am I right about that? Is there a lesson to be learned on like, no, you gotta work
with championship level people. Yeah, you do. You do. Um, there were signs there that I just wasn't
paying attention to, you know, it was at a company, I was making great money. We were having, we were
very successful in the things that we were achieving. Overall, I worked with a really good,
solid team of people that were high level producers and the people who took action. Um, but there were
signs from the leadership that I was kind of turning a blind eye to because all of that other
stuff was so good. And the lesson there is no, we've got to look at all of this. We've got to come
in from, from a 30,000 foot view and look at this from with a holistic lens and say, okay, no, let's
look at the whole picture of what's going on here. Not just focus on what's good. And we got to have
leaders that want that they're willing to do that. And that is a very rare comment. I've been fired
a lot, um, you know, and I'm not touting that as like, oh yeah, this is how it should know. Um, but
if you're working with somebody who refuses to turn a blind eye to the problems and that wants
to address those for the sake of improvement, then you know, you have a choice as a leader.
Do you hide from that and say, you know, oh man, I don't, I hope nobody discovers that you can't
bury a lie. You can't bury the truth. Um, you can try and it might get you somewhere for a little
while, but you're, you're just delaying a much, much worse problem if you don't take care of it
in the here and now. So that's neat that you were willing to send the direct message. I hope you
didn't stop sending direct messages as the opportunity for, for resolving that. Um, is,
I dunno, is that what you did? Do you now no longer send those types of messages or,
or did you have something to learn as well in that experience? Did you say something?
No, I've done that before. Trust me. Yeah. Um, that message was sent to me. I didn't send it.
So, uh, yeah, that was definitely a little correction there, but no. Okay. So,
so they, they didn't just come at you because you, they were mad at a message you sent. That's just
the chosen. Oh, they were just mad at me and wanted me gone from the company. So they fired me over a
direct message. Oh my gosh. That's embarrassing for them. That's embarrassing. All right, let's go.
We can, we can move past that one. Uh, we got a little bit of extra time. So let's dive into
what is the best leadership experience that you've ever had. Uh, several years ago,
I failed miserably with my first company was in a financial hole. And I had a friend of a friend
who owned it. And I come from the automotive space, spent 20 plus years in the, uh, custom aftermarket
car audio industry, had a gentleman who was a friend of a friend and he had a very successful
automotive accessory shop. Um, excuse me, about an hour from where I was living at the time on the
East end of the long Island. And this guy is still a friend to this day. Matter of fact, uh, mother's
day, I went back to New York to see my mom and took a, an hour or so drive and went out to see
Jimmy and Jimmy's a great dear friends of this day. And he's, he's a guy who said, Hey man,
you're in a spot right now. It's clear to me. I can see it. You're talented at what you do. I
want you to come and work for me, but I'm not going to force you to either. And this guy, the
moment that I said yes, even before I said yes, he was very willing to help me out more so than
most people were open the house, his house to me. Hey, I know this is far from where you're, you're
living. We have weather up here in the Northeast occasionally. Uh, since you're here, I consider
you a team member and a family member of mine. Here's the keys to my house. Uh, this, this one
lower level is open. It's furnished. We got stuff in there and goes, you don't have to ask you come
in and use this place as needed. So that to me was, okay, this is someone who truly cares about
that. The Lakers with LeBron James, every great franchise and sports dynasty of all time does
that when they're recruiting yet business owners completely butcher that over and over. So good.
Keep going. I like this Jimmy guy. Happy Mother's Day by the way. Yes. How was I introduced to him?
No, I said, happy Mother's Day to you. I said, you can keep going with the story. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
So this is the example of recruiting and so many business owners fell at it. They wonder why they
end up with crappy labor. Well, you're a crappy recruiter. You're going to get people who show up
without super enthusiasm. Let me talk to you about recruiting with him for a moment. Okay. So now I've
got my first company. I'm five years in and the writings on the wall that this thing is not
sustainable. And I just, I haven't made that tough decision yet because it's a tough one, especially
when it's your baby. And, um, he knows we have a phone conversation and he goes, look, he goes, uh,
and I was dating my ex-wife at the time. He goes, you and your girl, he goes, come out to my house,
Sunday morning. And he goes, I'm going to cook breakfast for you guys. And we'll have a conversation.
We'll get to know each other a little bit. Okay. So got in the car bright and early drove out to
his house an hour and a half or so from where I was. And, um, the man fed us like we were king and
queen, right? Cooked the breakfast for us. His wife was there. Two of his kids who were running
around in diapers were there. Now I was young at the time. I was, I don't know, 25, 26 years old.
And, you know, seeing how he operated, seeing the house that he had and the things that he had built
because of business ownership was like, okay, this is something that intrigues me. I'd like to do this
one day, but seeing how he, his hospitality towards me, towards my woman at the time, him opening the
doors to us, Hey, if you don't want to drive home tonight, too, and he said this the first day, you
don't want to drive home tonight. He goes, we got this, this spare house on the other side of the
property. You guys can stay there all you want to. Right. So this, from the very get-go, this man
opened up aspects of himself and his life to me and still does so to this very day and say, he's
one of the people that I know for a fact, if the poop hit the fan today and all the money disappeared,
I can call him up and say, Hey, I'm in a situation. I need you to wire me 10 K. And he wouldn't even
ask. He'd say, okay, send over your routing and your bank account information to me. And I'm like,
I'll send you my information and I'll have it over to you in a little while. Like that's the,
that's the kind of guy he is. And that's just the way that he operates, but being around a leader
like him has a vetting process too, for that he does. He's a, he's a wise steward, which is how
you end up with those types of properties and houses and things like that. So there's a, there's
a lot of realities, not lackadaisical about it by any means I can, I don't know the intentional,
if the intentionality is something that I hope more visionaries and more people striving to build
model and hear this and say, you know what, what can I do in my life to emulate what Jimmy's doing?
Even if I don't have those, that level of assets, you haven't, you have, we're in a competitive field
where almost nobody's trying when it comes to recruiting, you know, the recruiting methods
are how much does it cost, which is the equivalent of like, Oh, what's the least amount I can pay you
Thomas? You know, like we have such bad recruiting strategies and entrepreneurs as visionaries.
And until we start to think through how to take care of people, you know, the, the, the business
world is going to continue to struggle. Yeah. I agree. I love the story. Love that story. Well,
very good. We're going to wrap up on that because I do want to make sure to honor the rest of the
questions that we have. You are emulating consistency. I've seen it. The authenticity too,
just talking about these stories, being able to dive deep, imperfect action. Um, you know, we,
all human beings are living, breathing examples of that, but you and I aren't shy of talking about
that. I hope more people feel inspired to be able to, to put their voice to that. And I hope you
build the community of people around you who are going to support you and build you up when you do
it, not roast you and tear you down. That is another key factor. Thomas is one of those people
who I think would be like a Jimmy to you and your corner. If you're listening, please reach out to
him. Feel free to reach out to me as well. Other leaders who've been on the show, we're building
a massive community of people who want to support others and help people grow. We'll have the, the
action steps below this show as well. So you guys can connect with Thomas. We'll have a social media
link. So it's easy to connect with them there. We'll also put these references, uh, that he gave
Thomas. I don't always do this, but in this case I will. Um, final words of wisdom. How do you want
to close the show? Uh, it's a little statement that I live by small steps forward daily. And you know,
we have our good days, we have our bad days, and even on the bad days, we have to make forward
progress and it doesn't make a difference how much progress we make as long as we have that forward
progress. Small steps daily. My friends, if a big man can claim that and show that that's the way to
do it and pretty much all the greats of all time, point that out at step by step, precept by precept,
choose your book, um, your religious book of choice. You will see that principle has been a
highlight of success for many great people throughout the decades. Thomas, thanks for
your wisdom, man. And everybody who's listening and we'll see you on the next episode of Vision
Pros Live. Thank you for being here today. I'm really happy that you tuned into Vision Pros Live.
I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions as these episodes continue to move forward. This is
going to get more and more fun. We'll have more and more engagement as well. We'll invite people
to participate in the show and thank you for giving us your time and attention. Have an excellent time building out.