1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,240 late 20s, early 30s. And I loved living in New York. And my partner wanted to move here. 2 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:11,440 I said no for a while. And then finally, you, you know, you compromise in relationships. 3 00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:17,920 And I did. I'm like, I'm from LA. The older I'm getting though. I mean, this traffic is a real 4 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:23,920 problem. Like, I mean, most of the time, but it's like, it's a problem. 5 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:26,240 It's a problem when it's a problem. Absolutely. 6 00:00:26,240 --> 00:00:32,160 Well, you're all moving here. I'm in, I'm in between San Antonio and Austin and New 7 00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:36,880 Braunfels. And it's been the fastest growing suburb in the nation for years. And both cities 8 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:41,840 are the two fastest growing cities. So yeah, all the Californians are bringing their traffic. 9 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:45,200 The thing is like, I don't want to go somewhere hotter than this. 10 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:50,800 No, it's so hot here. I love it, but not everybody does. 11 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:54,560 Like, and it's not dry heat. It's humid. It's humid. 12 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:59,680 Yeah. I can have, if I had to move to Phoenix or something, I could probably handle that more 13 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:05,920 than the humidity, honestly. So nice. I, I born and raised here. So it cracks my skin. 14 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:11,760 When I go to dry places, I can't, I can't deal with the dry. So we're all conditioned for 15 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:16,000 different places. And you know, what's fun though. Now I got another friend I can visit in LA. 16 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:21,280 So hang down the fourth there. I don't, I don't want y'all's taxes, but I do love to visit. 17 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:26,080 You know, the tax thing is interesting because like, I, I don't know how much more I'm paying 18 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:31,760 in taxes than you, for example. I don't want to know. I think, I mean, I, I, I mean, I, I, 19 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:36,240 I mean, I, I'm not exactly, I'm not being funny. Like I don't know. And I think that it's probably 20 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:42,160 better that way right now. Yup. Plausible deniability is a good thing to use in many 21 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:48,000 circumstances. So this is one of those, we'll leave it where it's at for both of our hearts sake. 22 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:52,000 Tax, anybody wants to put the answer in the comments, you're welcome to. But I got Matt 23 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:58,880 Gerlich on stage, Life Transformation Coach. And you've been living what you talk about. I really 24 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:06,320 do enjoy, I read through your website and your relationship with your partner and how you've 25 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:13,520 stepped into what I would call being your best self. You know, like showing up and being 26 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:18,240 authentic. And I greatly appreciate what I read. I look forward to diving into your vision. I'm, 27 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:25,680 I'm excited to help some of the audience members learn their worth and how to advocate for what 28 00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:30,800 that looks like. And while I don't think we could put a definitive cap on somebody's worth, since 29 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:37,280 I have a feeling we both believe it's infinite in value. I think you decide your own word. I mean, 30 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:42,240 nobody's going to value you as high as you value yourself. Well, and once you learn how to do it, 31 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:47,520 you're not going to be able to do it. And as we get ready to dive into that, I'm gonna write that 32 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:53,840 down because we're coming back to that. Along your journey, what are three resources that you 33 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:58,800 recommend for visionaries and leaders who are also on this journey of discovering that? 34 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:06,000 I have, I mean, it's kind of random, but as I was thinking about this, there's an author 35 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:12,320 named Glennon Doyle. She wrote a book called Untamed. She has two books before that. 36 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:18,000 I'm a huge reader on my journey, on my growth, my healing journey. I'm kind of tired of hearing 37 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:24,000 myself say healing journey. So I'm trying to call it growth sometimes more now, but I found her book 38 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:35,760 and this woman is fierce and really taught me how to like be who I want to be and to stand up for 39 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:40,880 what I need to stand up for and advocate for myself. And the book really changed me and I 40 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:47,440 love her. And she has two other books before this. Her life story is like crazy and funny and she's 41 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:54,800 like relatable and she's a mom of three kids. She's like, I mean, I honestly couldn't imagine a better 42 00:03:54,800 --> 00:04:00,240 parent, like a better example. She's not perfect. She apologizes, teaches her followers to do that. 43 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:06,160 She's big. She has a few million followers now at this point, but that book was really, really 44 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:10,480 important to me. And it also encouraged me to write my own book, which is something I've been 45 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:20,560 working on. And the next thing, honestly, like good old fashioned meditation. Are these answers too 46 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:24,560 long or is it okay to go into this a little bit? You're fantastic. We're live. Everybody's going 47 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:31,600 to be excited about it. So something really big happened to me yesterday, like really, really 48 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:38,400 earth shattering. It involves a financial, something didn't go in my favor. We'll put it that 49 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:43,360 way. Like this is a really big deal. And I was on a coaching call yesterday and like he was talking 50 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:47,680 about meditation and I was like, can I tell you a little story? I told him quickly about what 51 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:55,200 happened. And I'm like, this is what meditation does. I am okay. And the truth is I am okay. 52 00:04:55,200 --> 00:05:00,480 Like 10 years ago, I would have been walking to the gas station and buying cigarettes and outside 53 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:07,280 smoking. I would be passive aggressive, not sleeping. And I can't explain like how meditation 54 00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:13,760 does it. There's people that can explain it better than they can. But it just like, it just has taught 55 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:22,800 me that, I mean, it's helped me be okay. Yeah. No, to be clear, I want your depth 56 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:28,720 and the answers like this. So I know that it's some podcasts and interviews, like it's kind of 57 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:36,080 short and I want to keep it high level, but know that this is the depth where the implementation 58 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:41,440 comes into sight. And it's like, oh yeah, I can relate to that. I can see how that applies to my 59 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:46,400 life. So thank you for it. It will eat into how much we can talk about your vision, but Matt, 60 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:52,640 we can always bring it back. If there's more we want to dive into. So meditation for me is also 61 00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:57,520 my secret weapon. And I call it prayer. I don't care if somebody calls it a banana. 62 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:04,320 You know, it's the same thing, the process of, and I like to walk when I meditate. You know, 63 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:08,240 some people say you have to be on your knees when you pray. And I get what people want to do with 64 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:15,360 their own constraints, but the idea of getting centered, the idea of tuning into myself and what 65 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:22,080 are their powers else exist out there. I have never been able to, I know the value of that source. 66 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:28,480 I should say that I don't need to worry. And if I find a better source someday, awesome. But yeah, 67 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:34,720 it's huge. It's super powerful. Thanks. Yeah. I, you know, like I can't explain exactly how it's 68 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:40,400 working. People say like, my mind's too busy to meditate. I say this with compassion. My mind is 69 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:46,080 busy 99% of the past 10 years when I've been meditating. I don't know if I'm doing it right. 70 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:52,640 Thank you. Yes. Like, but something happened over the past few weeks. I've noticed myself 71 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:58,400 observing myself and I'm observing myself as like, I think this is pretty vulnerable, but like, 72 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:04,480 I observed myself like with so much compassion, like I'm looking at myself and like, look at that 73 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:11,360 like beautiful human that's sitting there, like doing his best to try to navigate life. And it's 74 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:16,960 just, I can't explain how it's doing this, but it's, it's teaching me I will be okay. 75 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:23,920 I'll double down on that with you. Cause I think enough people, I think too many people shy away 76 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:28,480 from, and they call it woo woo, or frou frou. And they don't, you know, if that's you, if that's where 77 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:33,040 you're still at, you're still uncomfortable with the superpower that you have to deprecate it or 78 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:38,240 put it down, then maybe you're not fully owning the opportunity to really embrace it. So here I was at 79 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:44,240 Flow Research Collective working with Steven Kotler's team. And I can't remember his name, 80 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:48,560 but one of the, one of the leaders in the company wrote an article about finding happiness with 81 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:54,880 yourself. And he talked about waking up in the morning, hugging yourself and telling yourself, 82 00:07:54,880 --> 00:08:03,680 I love you. You know, there's not too many levels of woo farther and higher up than doing that. 83 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:10,400 And I was like, you know what? I love you. You know, and I kissed myself on the shoulder and I was 84 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:18,960 like, how do I take this up a notch? And it's amazing what happens when we embrace a full 85 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:26,320 appreciation of oneself without self-angra, what is that called? Putting ourself above others. 86 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:31,040 That's not, those things aren't connected to each other. I still love everybody else too, but 87 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:36,560 I'm also grateful that you mentioned that because I don't think people can achieve their full 88 00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:42,880 visions and what they're meant to do if they're worried about, you know, like feeling like they 89 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:50,800 can appreciate themselves. Yeah. And then the third thing, I kind of started off with this specific 90 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:55,760 book, but the third on the last two are more general and then journaling, honestly, like 91 00:08:55,760 --> 00:09:01,520 journaling, like I did a podcast episode the other day about this and just like, I said three 92 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:06,560 things just for simplicity, I won't go there, but these things are so accessible. Meditation, 93 00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:11,200 meditation can be one minute journaling, journaling you can do anywhere. You can make it a paragraph, 94 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:16,000 you can make it two sentences, you could type it, you could write it, you could even voice note it 95 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:23,680 to yourself. Journaling helps me sort through my mind in such a productive way. Like I literally 96 00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:30,000 see like, I don't want to call it busy, just like there's chaos, you know, it's not necessarily even 97 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:34,800 uncomfortable. It's just like, I need to get this out of here on the page and I start writing it 98 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:39,920 down. But the thing is, and I'm not projecting that you have to do this, I think there's so much 99 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:44,640 power in just getting the thoughts out of your mind. But now what I've done for the past year or 100 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:50,960 so, I set like weekly goals, I go back and review my journal each week, and kind of roll that back 101 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:56,240 into a monthly goal review. But the thing is that I've noticed when you, you know, like you get to 102 00:09:56,240 --> 00:10:01,600 assess your life, like on Mondays and Tuesdays, these problems that feel like they won't ever go 103 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:07,680 away, they do. Like, and you start to see that I realize that. Very consistently by Wednesday or 104 00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:13,920 Thursday, these problems are gone. And I think a lot of us strive to take better care of ourselves. 105 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:19,520 I am no better. I mean, I'm no special than anybody else. I struggle, you know, on the weekends, 106 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:26,720 I indulge. I like wine, I like desserts, I like pizza and buffalo wings and all that stuff. And 107 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:33,840 I'm 41 years old. And this has been a problem for like, like, I've always felt better when I'm 108 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:39,760 eating better. But like having this like, really like noting down like, you know, Mondays, I feel 109 00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:45,680 more anxious or I feel more bloated. Why did I do this to myself? It's helping over time. But I 110 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:51,360 think health is like, I'm blanketing this into health, but it's like a, it's a lifelong process. 111 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:58,400 And I think like, the kinder you can be to yourself and realize that we are all harming ourselves in 112 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:04,480 some way, it's allowed me to just like, start to like, like, wow, Matt, like you have like a year's 113 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:12,800 worth of journaling here, that proves that you like feel better on a Monday when you like, eat like a 114 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:19,360 lot more vegetables than pizza over the weekend. And that's really helped, you know, and I'm 115 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:22,960 love that when I sleep well, I feel better, you know, it's just, it's helped me really reflect on 116 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:30,080 my life. So very good. There's a there's a journaling. And there's that appreciation for 117 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:35,920 the journal, right? You're actually utilizing it to make sure that you are seeing the progress and 118 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:41,520 great friend of mine when I was going through my first divorce, said Jackson, you know, you can't 119 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:49,200 watch a tree grow. And he was referring to my changes and how I had evolved as I was striving 120 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:54,480 to save my marriage. And I was really grateful for that analogy and that thought process of okay, 121 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:58,720 I'm not going to be able to see this on a daily basis. But that's also where the journaling and 122 00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:04,640 documentation process can really help understand that we are improving much more than we often give 123 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:11,040 ourselves credit for or than sometimes others give us credit for. And it's, it's important to 124 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:14,880 have that peace of mind with ourselves if we're going to go and achieve great things. It's a very 125 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:20,320 important reality to, to be aware of. So, Matt, thank you. You've already given us an incredible 126 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:23,760 amount of wisdom and we're gonna be bringing you right back on. We're gonna dive into the vision, 127 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:28,800 everybody. We're gonna be talking about how to learn your own worth and how to advocate for it, 128 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:34,560 so we can maximize our lives together. All right. Welcome in to Vision Pros Live with Jackson 129 00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:39,280 Kalam. I'm your show host. We'll be doing interviews for visionary entrepreneurs and guest 130 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:42,080 leaders who are building fantastic visions out there. 131 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:56,080 Hey, what's up, everybody? Welcome in to another episode of Vision Pros Live. I just saw that edit 132 00:12:56,080 --> 00:13:01,360 typo on sponsored by that's funny. Sponsor Ray is what it said. I don't think that's any language, 133 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:05,360 though. Anyway, I'm a show host, Jackson Kalam, founder and CEO of First Class Business. I'm 134 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:12,080 excited to have Matt Gerlach on our stage today. And, you know, he's got a depth of wisdom centered 135 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:18,320 around, I would, I would sum it up as far as just being super self-aware and that skill set of being 136 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:23,280 able to know who you are, know what you want and being dedicated to finding it. I've been blessed 137 00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:29,520 tremendously in my life by discovering the same thing and in many cases, rediscovering who I was 138 00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:36,240 because of situations, traumas, adversities that you face in life that make you start to lose sight 139 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:40,320 of the things that are most important. So he's got a journey and story related to that that really 140 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:44,240 touched my heart when I was reading through it on his website. So feel free to check that out. 141 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:49,360 We'll, of course, have in the show notes, the action steps you can take with him and his mission. 142 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:53,440 Before we bring him back on stage though, a couple of sponsors that I want to mention, 143 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:57,840 people who we work with. These aren't even paid sponsorships. I just like to put resources up 144 00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:05,840 here that I know you guys will benefit from. So one is Matt, I said Matt, Dave Morrow, Dave Morrow 145 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:11,760 from the Hard to Kill podcast, hardtokill.org is the organization. He's helping a hundred thousand 146 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:17,360 veterans lose 2 million pounds collectively. And why is he doing that? Well, they're helping 147 00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:22,800 and why is he doing that? Well, there's an incredibly high suicide rate of our veterans 148 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:26,880 because they come back and I don't want to actually define them because there's a lot of 149 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:32,160 reasons that contribute to it. But one thing that happens to all of us is when we start to gain weight 150 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:37,760 or we start to lose sight of ourselves physically and not to feel good about ourselves, that toys 151 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:43,600 with our mind just as much as anything else in life can. But these soldiers, their identity is 152 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:49,520 often based on how in shape they are and how superhero they've become. And so I love that he 153 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:55,280 leads this mission having fought the fight, having been in the war as well, understanding that 154 00:14:57,120 --> 00:15:01,280 he knows what it's like firsthand to go through the challenge and problem. And I see him doing 155 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:08,160 so much good to help people become look good, feel good and do good. That's his mantra. I was like, 156 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:13,680 I want to share Dave's mission with the world to a greater extent. And then there's Peyton Childers 157 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:17,680 with Magic's Productions. Peyton produced, in fact, you're looking at it right now, 158 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:24,160 our event, First Class Networking. He came in to do the AV for it and he allowed our event to 159 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:29,920 have a series of cameras set up that were all connected and he ran it like a production studio. 160 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:36,720 And this was just a normal 20 to 30 person event. And he was able to capture the visuals for, 161 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:41,200 for B-roll purposes. He was able to stream it live to YouTube so that people could participate 162 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:46,960 in it if we had wanted that. His creativity and genius related to event management and 163 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:52,240 providing that audio visual setup is second to none. And he's got the hospitality skills of a 164 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:57,760 40, 50, 60 year old superstar. And I highly recommend again, checking out what he's up to. 165 00:15:57,760 --> 00:16:02,960 And he just recently got into producing podcasts as well. So if you're looking for something to 166 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:07,360 help out with launching a podcast, some on ours and absolutely check out what Peyton's up to. 167 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:13,520 Then there's the Water Project. The Water Project is a cause that I will never rock this microphone 168 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:19,040 without talking about a cause that's much larger than what we are. I've never been thirsty in my 169 00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:24,640 life. Literally, I've always had access to clean drinking water. So when the Water Project came 170 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:30,320 across my desk and I was like, wow, like I didn't know there was millions, I never thought about it. 171 00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:35,200 Millions of people who don't even have access to clean drinking water. And what they're doing is 172 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:39,040 they've created this program kind of like a Kickstarter campaign. You actually get to pick 173 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:44,240 the community that you're helping. And when you contribute even just five to $10 to that campaign, 174 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:49,920 they will keep you updated on that campaign coming to fruition. And so you actually get to see the 175 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:55,360 generational impact that you have. I like to meditate on this and think about how, you know, 176 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:58,720 one, you're going to see this picture of these kiddos. It looks like they're celebrating 177 00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:03,280 Christmas Day, like my children, but they're celebrating access to water. You get to have 178 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:07,280 that type of impact and imagine their parents and how they have to leave work to go get water 179 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:11,520 sometimes. Or these kids have to leave school in order to go get water for the community. 180 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:15,760 The grandparents, you know, have hunched backs because they have to carry this water three to 181 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:20,240 five miles. Like it's insane what people have to go through. So my hope is that if you're not in a 182 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:24,160 position where you can help financially, that you spread the word about this. Maybe tell us 183 00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:28,800 something else about it. And if you know of a cause that you'd rather see as support, then give us a challenge 184 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:33,600 of dropping it in the comments. Allow us to help. There's 8 billion people in this world that we can 185 00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:38,480 help out. And it's important that we all step up and do that if we have the capacity to do so. 186 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:44,640 So without further ado, Matt Gerlach, welcome back to Vision Pros Live. Super happy to have you here 187 00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:50,720 today, man. Thank you. Happy to be here. Absolutely. So Matt, if you were to define, 188 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:54,400 based on the audience you serve, what's your vision for the people that you're serving? 189 00:17:55,520 --> 00:18:00,400 The vision for the people that I'm serving, I would say to 190 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:09,920 live the life that they want for them. Like to live the life that they want, to live the life 191 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:14,960 that they want, that they likely don't yet know they like, that they don't yet know they want. 192 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:19,760 The people that I work with, a lot of them are held back by trauma and limiting beliefs around 193 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:26,880 what's possible for them. So like when you're asked what you want, it's very hard. When you're 194 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:31,760 asked what you want for your life, it takes a lot of work. And that's what I work with my clients on. 195 00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:36,560 It's helping them like really strip down the beliefs. If nobody else was in this room, 196 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:41,520 what would you want for yourself? And it sounds for a lot of people out there, like I have a lot 197 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:48,320 of people in my life that can answer that question a lot easier than I could have. And I'm 41, I might 198 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:52,560 have mentioned that earlier. And it's like, I didn't know what I wanted for my life until probably 199 00:18:52,560 --> 00:19:00,160 about three years ago. And I've been working with therapists and coaches and for a long time. And I 200 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:05,360 just was really held back thinking a lot of limiting beliefs. Like I'm too old to start anew. 201 00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:09,840 Like really the biggest, most damaging thought was what's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? 202 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:16,960 And the biggest, most damaging thought was what's wrong with me for not being happy? Like I had met, 203 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:23,600 I had met and exceeded most measures of normal societal and external success. I was always a 204 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:29,040 really top performer at work, making a lot of money. I had gained freedom at work a lot just 205 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:35,760 because of my success and performance, but it wasn't enough. And I help people, I help people 206 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:41,600 and I help people who are struggling. I help people who are struggling to find their way back 207 00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:48,080 to their normal lives. And more than that, like I say this with compassion, but like so many of us 208 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:55,840 think that in order for us to have a job that feels good, it won't pay good. And that's not the case. 209 00:19:55,840 --> 00:20:01,120 Like you can, you know, I'm just kind of making this up, but like, I hope this makes sense. But 210 00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:06,240 you know, get in your community and teach people things like there are people that will pay the 211 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:12,960 money for services. I will back you up on that big time. When I met Josh Rossi of fulltime 212 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:19,440 photographer.com, we, I was at video power marketing and we were running Facebook, 213 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:23,920 YouTube ad campaign, sorry, for, for people who could spend more than $10,000 a month on YouTube 214 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:28,880 ads. I mean, these were people who were crushing it. And so here he comes and he was coming to our 215 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:34,560 coaching program, if I remember correctly, and he, he wanted to run his YouTube ads with us. 216 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:41,040 And I'm sitting there kind of scoffing, like, there's no way this guy's crushing it. He teaches 217 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:46,240 photographers how to be a photographer. Everybody with an iPhone thinks they're a photographer, 218 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:51,040 you know, like how is he going to win with this? And so I'm, I'm talking to Jake about that a 219 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:54,800 little bit and Jake knew a little bit better than I did, but he was good at putting up with my, 220 00:20:54,800 --> 00:21:02,160 my, my lack of confidence in that regard. And he comes in and man, I ate crow so fast. He was, 221 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:13,760 he was doing five figures per week on one podcast, one webinar, two and a half hour webinar. 222 00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:20,320 He just did one of them per week. And, you know, I was like, what, how is this possible? 223 00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:25,600 You know, every, there's so many articles online and people how to be a great photographer. 224 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:32,400 And in his case, you know, what we learned was, you know, what all of that noise that's created 225 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:38,960 in that red ocean has created a reality where those who wanted the absolute success, those who 226 00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:43,280 wanted to succeed were so sick of that, that they would pay him in a heartbeat to solve the problem 227 00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:49,200 because he knew what he was doing. And so it was very lucrative for him. And that's just teaching 228 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:53,520 photography. There's so many other things that we can teach. So that's, that's point number one, 229 00:21:53,520 --> 00:22:00,720 you're 100% correct. Moving into what our passion is unlocks a possibility for profitability that 230 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:05,520 others in your life are going to be uncomfortable with. And they might be scared for you. So they 231 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:12,000 might try to stop you, but it doesn't make you wrong by pursuing it too. We, hopelessness comes 232 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:21,600 in many forms, but if somebody is hopeless, it's very, very hard to help them find hope. And that 233 00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:28,800 may be the hope of a new career, but that may be, you know, the hope of survival. There's a, 234 00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:32,720 there's a lot of layers of that red fern grows. One of the dog dies, the other dog dies right 235 00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:37,520 after, because it just cannot get over the reality of that situation. It had lost hope on the purpose 236 00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:43,840 of life. So I'm super grateful that you bring it up. A lot of us are trapped in hopelessness and 237 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:48,400 areas of our life that we may not even be willing or ready to acknowledge yet. And it sounds like 238 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:52,560 you're kind of standing for that, which is pretty cool. So what do you, what is your vision for 239 00:22:52,560 --> 00:23:02,640 yourself? My vision for myself is I want to enjoy my life so much that nothing that I'm doing feels 240 00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:07,200 like work, you know? And I know that sounds a little weird because like we are all doing parts 241 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:12,240 of our, like, I just, you know, like accounts payable. A lot of us don't enjoy that, but like, 242 00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:17,440 that doesn't feel like work when every part of, when it's part of, when it's 10% of your life 243 00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:24,240 only or five or 1% of your life, you know, like I want to be enjoying so much of my life that the, 244 00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:29,280 that the unfun parts like don't even feel like work. And I'm not far from that right now, you 245 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:36,400 know? I've, I've been in, you know, I've been in doing traditional business type work for the past 246 00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:44,320 20 years almost. And moving into this like coaching mentor type role, I started a podcast, 247 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:49,760 writing a book, I'm about to start getting on stages and speaking about my story inspiring 248 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:57,440 others. Like, this is, this is like nothing I've ever imagined before. Like I, I've been in 249 00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:04,160 before, like I, I didn't know life could feel this good. And what's weird about it too, is it's like, 250 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:12,560 life is challenging too. This is, this is not easy. Like, it's, it's, I mean, like everything 251 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:16,000 that I've taken on, like probably one of the hardest things that I've done. It's like when I 252 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:21,920 started posting on Instagram, like every day, and it's like, you can look back to like my videos a 253 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:26,080 year ago, they were horrible. Like, I mean, they're still not amazing. Like I'm learning. 254 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:28,880 I'm laughing because I have the same thing on my side. 255 00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:34,160 Yeah, like, you know, I mean, so it's you, but you get used to being a novice, and you get to 256 00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:40,240 start realizing that every single person who's where you want to be also started off as a novice. 257 00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:44,480 I'm kind of like, rewinding a little bit to what you were saying about the photographer thing. 258 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:49,040 We're at the place like, you know, being an entrepreneur, where like, you know, you do hire 259 00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:53,600 certain people, like you hire like a private coach, there are certain things that I learn on my own, 260 00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:58,320 because maybe they're a little easier for me to kind of self teach myself, but like, I can also 261 00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:05,280 supercharge things and learn them faster and get help to become adept faster. But, um, 262 00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:05,680 absolutely. 263 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:13,440 I want to feel so good and helping others and showing people that life does not have to feel 264 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:21,280 work, the work part of life does not have to feel miserable. And I care so much about financial 265 00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:26,720 and quality, about people making enough money to survive in today's life. And like the cost of 266 00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:32,960 living is just astronomical, no matter where you turn your head. And like, we need to learn how to 267 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:39,120 advocate for our own worth. And I do believe that a lot of us that work in corporate or work for 268 00:25:39,120 --> 00:25:46,400 somebody else, our hands are tied by the amount that they are valuing us. So I'm a big proponent 269 00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:52,400 of entrepreneurship and having started myself as services, my bit, my job that I, my, my company 270 00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:57,680 that I'd started was a services firm, a sales services firm. And like, I mean, I'm not, 271 00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:03,440 entrepreneurship is not for everybody. You have to be self-starting, you have to be, you know, 272 00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:07,200 driven, you have to be willing to learn, you have to be willing to not be good. You have to take 273 00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:12,160 feedback, you have to be willing to grow, you have to have like the ability to take on some risk. 274 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:16,880 But like when you're, but like when you starting, when you are starting a services company, I mean, 275 00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:21,920 you literally only need a computer. In a lot of cases, a photographer needs a computer and a 276 00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:28,080 camera. Like you're not having to buy a warehouse full of merchandise. Right. And I'm a huge 277 00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:34,640 proponent in teaching people how to make enough money for themselves that they aren't like worried. 278 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:41,760 Like my dog had had back surgery a year ago and it was like $15,000. Like it's, it would have been 279 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:45,440 it would have been really hard. I would have been, I mean, luckily insurance covered a lot of it, 280 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:48,880 but like it would have been really hard. I mean, I grew up like that where like we, 281 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:54,160 we couldn't take the pets to the doctor sometimes when they needed to go. And none of us should have 282 00:26:54,160 --> 00:27:01,200 to live like that. I love that. There's a, there's a lot of opportunity for all of us to, 283 00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:07,840 to dive into it or to figure out how to dive into it. And I think each person's course is a little 284 00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:14,320 bit unique, but I love that you brought up account payables. And I'm currently handling payroll for 285 00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:19,760 our company. Right. And so normally I would have this handed off to see if I know some great ones, 286 00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:24,720 Cameron, Kinley County, I got to give you major shout out because you're awesome. But right now 287 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:30,400 I've taken that process back on and it's a very different feeling. These days we've got 288 00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:38,320 20 team members. And as I was going through and making some payments yesterday and found myself 289 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:46,000 in a position to give a couple of raises, you know, and little raises, very small aspects of 290 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:51,120 gratitude, you know, just to show the team that, that I care about their contributions and being 291 00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:54,080 able to talk to my team members about, Hey, what are your needs? What's going on in your life right 292 00:27:54,080 --> 00:28:01,200 now? There's a lot of wonderful emotion that comes with that good, bad, and ugly, but it is far from 293 00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:08,320 like a system. It's far from like something mundane. There's, there's a lot of challenges 294 00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:12,640 that come with that, but there's also a lot of rewards that come with it too. I couldn't have 295 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:16,640 realized that, you know, 10 years ago, my entrepreneurial path, I couldn't have seen that 296 00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:22,000 that that could be something that you enjoy because it didn't, it seemed like something that was just 297 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:28,960 tactical. I love that you brought that up. Let's dive into dark subject. What is the worst leadership 298 00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:30,560 experience that you've ever had? 299 00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:46,160 I worked with a leader at a job some time ago and that person was very, was very tight with money, 300 00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:52,000 you know, didn't take care of people. And I think that they thought that, you know, they were often 301 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:58,560 getting a bargain by like negotiating down. And I think it's really funny because like a lot of 302 00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:04,320 times, like we don't really know what the job looks like, you know, like we don't know what an 303 00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:10,400 A player looks like. So it's like, we think that like, Oh, like, you know, this consultant asked 304 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:16,640 for $4,000 a month, I got them down to 3000. And ha ha ha, like, what a good deal. 305 00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:22,320 We were that way. We were that way when I was running my first startups. Absolutely. We haggled 306 00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:23,440 people down the wire. 307 00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:30,880 And yeah, and it's like, and I've seen this like where it's like, that person comes on board and 308 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:36,320 they're performing at a C level, no one knows any better. And like, good for the consultant, you 309 00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:41,360 know, like for, I mean, I shouldn't say it like that. Like, it's not funny. I mean, it's just like, 310 00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:47,520 but that is the reality. And you know, I think that like, I am a firm believer in taking care of 311 00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:52,800 people. You know, I had an employee recently who went on maternity leave, this is my first time 312 00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:58,000 with, you know, dealing with this. And I, I wish I could have given her more, I gave her three 313 00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:02,960 months off, and I felt kind of bad about that. And then I learned that like, that's like twice 314 00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:07,680 what most people give. But I worked for a company once that gave six months. And I was like, that 315 00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:12,320 was kind of my North Star that I was like, I wish I could do that. But you know, I'm like, kind of 316 00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:13,040 a one man show. 317 00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:17,760 Well, you're not there yet, but you're, you're gravitating towards it, right. And that person 318 00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:23,600 too, if that person, you know, the healthy relationship appreciates the process, you know, 319 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:29,360 of trying to get there as well. And so the fact that you want to get to abundance, while we can't 320 00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:33,440 justify that and say, Oh, I'm just going to make people make them think I want that, that doesn't 321 00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:40,800 work. But when you're striving to move towards that reality, and if they're part of the team, 322 00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:45,280 well, it's a team process to get there. So I love that, I love that you gravitating towards it. I 323 00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:48,880 love that you bring it up as one of the worst leadership realities. I think we have to call 324 00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:54,160 out most of corporate America. I think we have to call out most small business owners. How many 325 00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:59,680 times do we ask the question to the provider? How much does it cost to work with you? And the 326 00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:06,720 underlying reality of that backhanded question is, what's the least amount I can pay you? You 327 00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:12,960 can't recruit LeBron James, asking that question. You can't recruit the best talent, the best 328 00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:16,560 talent then has to figure out diplomatically how to say, wow, thanks for disrespecting me. 329 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:18,960 It's not healthy. 330 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:25,280 I mean, even this morning, my assistant, she like we're contracted for 44 hours a month. 331 00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:29,680 And she was like, I need to let you know, I worked 60 hours this month. And like, I think she thought 332 00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:33,920 that I might like, I mean, she knows that I'm fine. But like, I think she knew, I mean, I think she 333 00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:39,280 thought that it might not be like as fine as it was. I was like, girl, you did a lot, like, 334 00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:43,360 this is not a problem. I mean, I, and I mean, I saw her time tracker, like, I mean, it was fine. 335 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:48,560 And I've seen people before where it's like, you know, I mean, you work 60 hours, you know, 336 00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:52,640 can we like meet in the middle? Can I pay you, you know, 52 hours? I think that would be, and 337 00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:59,680 it's like, she, I mean, I'm excited to really my motivation, like one of my, I have like two people 338 00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:05,440 that are really, really supporting me on my team right now. And one of my like big motivations, 339 00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:10,480 I vocalized with them over the past couple of days, like, I'm ready to grow. I'm ready to 340 00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:15,040 invest some more money into getting business growing a little bit more, because I want to 341 00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:20,080 give them more money. Like, I don't like that. Like, one of them is my friend, she's like taking 342 00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:26,240 this job on. She's like, I mean, I'm really grateful that she's even touching what I'm doing 343 00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:31,520 for the amount that I'm paying her right now. But I love taking care of people. And it's, it's my 344 00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:37,360 dream. I mean, I want to have like, in my, you know, for my, I call it a mentorship business, 345 00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:42,880 like I really looking down the, you know, looking in the pipeline in a few months, I really hope to 346 00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:47,840 have, you know, a few really high end one on one clients, a couple of mastermind groups that I'm 347 00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:53,120 working with, and some sort of like lower ticket, like more attainable, weekly meeting type 348 00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:59,200 situation. So I'm calling it a mentorship group. And I mean, I like I want to, I mean, I live in 349 00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:04,480 LA, I mean, I need to, my partner and I are doing surrogacy right now, life is very expensive. 350 00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:11,280 But I mean, I mean, but I have noted an amount of money for myself, that like, if I made this 351 00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:16,240 amount of money, like everything else can go to charity, everybody else, like that's not 352 00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:22,080 noticed for myself. And, and I don't I mean, it's not like a tiny amount, like I mean, I would live 353 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:26,560 a nice life, I wouldn't be buying a boat, or anything like that. But like, I would be able to 354 00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:32,160 go on nice vacations and things like that. But my dream is like, I would love to have a nice, 355 00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:37,680 you know, three or four people that are just like, supporting me so well and making several 356 00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:43,920 hundred thousand dollars a year for doing that. Because I want to, I know what it's like to 357 00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:51,200 make the life changing amount of money and I, I come from, you know, a very blue collar family, 358 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:57,280 money was a huge issue. I, it would be my biggest honor to help people not have to feel that way. 359 00:33:57,280 --> 00:34:03,440 Absolutely. It's huge. And the book that I'm super grateful that I finally read, I regret 360 00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:08,880 not reading it eight years sooner when it came across my desk is the E-Myth. And the E-Myth does 361 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:13,440 an excellent job of helping to see that there are lots of procedures, resources, templates and 362 00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:19,520 people that are required in order to move these types of mountains. And of course, gamifying, 363 00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:25,600 taking care of people, incredible concepts. So what's the most important thing that you 364 00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:31,120 do in your life? And what's your, what's your best leadership experience ever? 365 00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:32,960 Can I go back to that book real quick? 366 00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:34,240 Of course you can. It's 367 00:34:34,240 --> 00:34:40,000 I mean, it recently came across my desk three or four months ago and I read it and my partner 368 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:44,720 read it too. We were both like, wow, this was, it was a very, very good book and entertaining for 369 00:34:44,720 --> 00:34:49,760 anybody that wants to read one of the best entrepreneurial books I've ever read, probably 370 00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:52,400 in the top three. Very, very good. 371 00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:57,920 Absolutely. And listen to it on Audible guys. It's, his name is Michael Gerber and he sounds 372 00:34:57,920 --> 00:35:02,880 like Michael Douglas, which makes it very entertaining to listen to. So I highly recommend 373 00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:07,680 consuming that at least once. Thank you for that. So yeah, what's your best leadership experience 374 00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:08,640 that you've ever had? 375 00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:16,000 You know, I'm going to go the opposite. I mean, yeah, I've had a couple. I'll just go with what 376 00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:22,240 first came in mind. I worked with a very generous woman when I moved to New York in 2010. I 377 00:35:22,240 --> 00:35:29,040 that like, it was my first foray into entrepreneurship. My whole, this past 15 years have been spent 378 00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:35,520 randomly in the baby product industry. In 2010, this was like a very booming industry because, 379 00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:40,560 and it was largely started in New York, like, because even rich people like in New York 380 00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:45,360 lived in pretty not that big apartments and didn't want to look at like a Winnie the Pooh, 381 00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:46,800 like in their living room. 382 00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:48,320 That makes sense. 383 00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:55,360 Like more design. So I worked for a company named Aiden and A. We really, we created a 384 00:35:55,360 --> 00:36:01,520 massive category of swaddling blankets. We brought it was like, so swaddling was made 385 00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:06,320 mainstream because of this woman who owned the company. And she's an Australian and brought 386 00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:14,080 muslin to America in a big way. And I was, you know, 27 years old. And when I moved there, 387 00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:20,080 my pay doubled. I went from like making about $70,000 a year to about 150. I had a very 388 00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:24,640 lucrative comp structure that was just like so nicely set up. I think it was like, if you hit 389 00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:29,680 your goal each month, I think you got $3,000 extra just for hitting your goal. I might be wrong. 390 00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:32,560 Maybe it was a thousand or something, but I think it was, I think it was more than a thousand. 391 00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:33,600 Substantial. 392 00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:39,920 Yeah. And, and it was like, rather than like, like, I mean, this, I mean, I mean, as a sales 393 00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:44,720 leader myself, like, I do think that when you have this like annual goal, it's really hard 394 00:36:44,720 --> 00:36:49,280 for people to get excited about this. And at this company, it was a monthly goal each month. 395 00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:55,520 You restarted over, you got your commission based off what you sold. You got the 3000 bucks, 396 00:36:55,520 --> 00:37:01,360 I think it was a long time ago, but I was like 27 years old. Sometimes like, I think I got like, 397 00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:08,480 you know, some like $15,000 checks, like, and that was a ton of money. Yeah. And holiday parties 398 00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:12,880 were like nice, you know, probably like, and this was a while ago, but dinner was probably still 399 00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:22,000 like 300 bucks a person, tons of alcohol. We got iPads and just really felt taken care of. And, 400 00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:26,720 like, and it was just so much more than what you have to do. And that's why, like, I like working 401 00:37:26,720 --> 00:37:31,600 in entrepreneurial companies. I like working for founders. I like working for myself now, you know, 402 00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:36,400 because there's not, I mean, this is the thing about corporate America, like that I learned 403 00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:42,720 recently, not that recently, but I really absorbed recently, the fiduciary duty of a company, like 404 00:37:42,720 --> 00:37:47,600 the number one priority of a company, of a corporation is the fiduciary duty. So a company 405 00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:54,160 is laid out where the stockholders, the shareholders, they are more important than the employees. 406 00:37:54,160 --> 00:38:00,000 They're more important than the people that are owed money. These people are laid out in the bylaws, 407 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:05,280 I think it might be. They are the most important people in this organization. And that's why 408 00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:09,280 the common folk is not taken care of very well in these organizations. 409 00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:16,960 Wow. That's a, that is interesting. That's high level, high level thought process to consider. 410 00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:22,000 You go into government, you can be the president. We could use that. I'll leave that where it's at. 411 00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:29,520 Jumping into an ultra serious question. You can of course have fun with it still, but my favorite 412 00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:34,160 question, if this was the very last chance you had to share a powerful lesson with the world, 413 00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:37,360 what powerful lesson can other visionaries learn from your experience? 414 00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:44,400 Introspection. Like the answers are inside of us. And so I didn't really get a chance to like say 415 00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:50,960 much about my story, but in 2017, I was living in New York. I had just started my consulting business 416 00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:58,320 and I was like literally dying. I had anxiety and depression that were so bad. I could barely 417 00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:04,400 function. I was numbing it with drugs and alcohol and cigarettes, which was absolutely making it 418 00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:08,560 worse. It wasn't like crazy. I mean, I was like more than functioning and it wasn't like I was 419 00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:12,560 waking up and drinking or anything like that. But like in the evenings, I certainly was to deal with 420 00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:20,240 the stress of it all. And it led me down a path of realizing that I had childhood trauma that hadn't 421 00:39:20,240 --> 00:39:28,160 been ever dealt with. A lot happened at school. I was very bullied and ridiculed. I was very 422 00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:34,320 fueled. I was fat and made fun of and just like really had a hard life at school and at home. 423 00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:38,960 There was a lot of chaos and a lot of things happened that shouldn't have happened. There was 424 00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:42,640 a lot of things said, some physical stuff that really shouldn't have happened. And I just kept 425 00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:49,440 it all with me. And I never dealt with it because I thought that I wanted to protect my caretakers. 426 00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:56,320 I didn't want to acknowledge that the truth of it. Introspection has changed my entire life. 427 00:39:56,320 --> 00:40:03,040 Like I started this off by saying like, you know, something really crazy happened and I'm okay. 428 00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:09,920 I think anxiety in its most simplest form is that your internal needs are not matching your 429 00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:14,720 external environment. I know some of us have much deeper anxiety than that, but a lot of us who are 430 00:40:14,720 --> 00:40:21,600 suffering from anxiety, it is just like that we're in a horrible relationship with somebody who is 431 00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:24,720 treating us poorly. And that could be professional, could be personal, could be, 432 00:40:24,720 --> 00:40:31,120 you know, romantic, and we need to get out of it. Like it could be, you know, our passive or not 433 00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:37,840 passive aggressive, our aggressive, you know, mother-in-law that lives upstairs from us and is 434 00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:42,720 just constantly making us feel bad. Oh, you're eating pastries again. Like, you know, whatever 435 00:40:42,720 --> 00:40:50,160 it might be. Like these things are harmful to us. And me learning to be honest about my feelings, 436 00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:57,600 introspecting has changed everything. And we don't chase our feelings. Like it's not like we're 437 00:40:57,600 --> 00:41:04,720 saying like, I'm hurt and I'm going to tell everybody how hurt I am. No, not exactly. It's, 438 00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:10,240 it shows you a direction. It shows you where to start working. You know, like I'm constantly hurt 439 00:41:10,240 --> 00:41:15,760 by men. Like, well, the net shows you that there's some trauma that you need to start working through 440 00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:20,400 with your trained professionals that can help you with that. It's not necessarily like blow up at 441 00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:24,400 everybody. Although that's appropriate sometimes. Sometimes you need to set some boundaries, but 442 00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:30,160 like I was lying to myself for so long about my feelings and just afraid to admit like what I 443 00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:37,760 needed. And by learning to admit what I'm, by touching the stove and saying, this is hot, 444 00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:46,480 I don't want to keep my hand on it. My life has changed in every way. I literally don't suffer 445 00:41:46,480 --> 00:41:52,800 from anxiety and depression very much. Hardly ever. I almost want to say no, but yesterday was 446 00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:59,280 a little much. Sure. Sure. I get that. Well, and life's challenges, you know, even if we get to 447 00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:05,280 the point of, I get, I'm not, I'm not Buddha. You know, I'm not Muhammad there in Jesus, but 448 00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:09,520 I have found that throughout my life, as I've gravitated towards learning those principles, 449 00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:14,320 we gain strength, right? We're still going to have adversities that come and adversities are there to 450 00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:21,120 help define who we are becoming. And that's a hard concept for some people to grasp. If you're in the 451 00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:25,840 beginning stages of going through trauma, your anxiety is super, super high. There's a great 452 00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:31,440 Ted talk on anxiety. I'm sure if you just looked up how to overcome anxiety, Ted talks, you'd find 453 00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:36,240 several of them, but one of the ones I watched recently talked about how anxiety is treated as 454 00:42:36,240 --> 00:42:45,840 a symptom and as a disease, um, rather than really realizing that it's part of our, it's also healthy 455 00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:50,160 too, to have there's certain warnings that it gives us. And I love that you kind of keyed in on 456 00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:57,840 that. You said, I had to write down anxiety is our internal, um, what's going on, not, not matching 457 00:42:57,840 --> 00:43:02,880 the external reality that we're facing. And I was like that it's that detector. It's that siren of 458 00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:08,080 something's off here. So thank you for sharing that. And yeah, introspection, self-awareness, 459 00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:14,480 amazing. And hearing you say that back to me, like also, I mean, thank you for reflecting that back. 460 00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:21,680 It's, it's also that it's also an image, like if you are alarmed by something, it is, I mean, 461 00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:26,240 if your knee, like if you're feeling unsafe and you actually are in a safe environment 462 00:43:26,240 --> 00:43:32,240 and you don't feel unsafe, that's a great signal that there's trauma in your past that is, 463 00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:38,160 that's in your nervous system that that is preventing you from feeling safe in safe 464 00:43:38,160 --> 00:43:42,080 situations. It's like the disease to please, you know, it's like people that are always hyper 465 00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:47,200 vigilant because something needs to be processed. And I want to make it very clear. I don't think 466 00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:53,680 these things are necessarily easy. I think that working with, well, they're simple ish and 467 00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:58,080 like work. I mean, the point that I'm making is like, you need to work with somebody a lot of times 468 00:43:58,080 --> 00:44:03,520 to accomplish a lot of this. And I like to say that like, by setting boundaries, like there is an 469 00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:08,320 immediate payoff. You're getting yourself out of a situation that is harming you. So that's why I 470 00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:13,440 said it's like, correct. Simple can be very hard, you know, 10,000 steps per day, 100 pushups, 471 00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:18,640 100 setups. Yeah. How many of us do it? You know, there's lots of ways, 10 minutes of walking. 472 00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:23,200 So it's not always easy just because it's simple. And I appreciate you sharing that. 473 00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:27,840 Now let's look at, we talked a little bit about worth. We can dive in a little bit further on 474 00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:33,600 that. We've got a few minutes left. I do want to make time for how do you advocate for your worth? 475 00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:37,280 So if you want to define it first and then dive into how to, the floor is yours. 476 00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:43,280 I mean, you can work with me and I will help you advocate for your worth. That's really what I do. 477 00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:50,240 I help people to learn that they're worthy of whatever they believe they are. But I think that 478 00:44:50,240 --> 00:44:55,920 like, there's a lot of things you can do. There's one little like tool that I use a lot. There's a 479 00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:59,280 couple of things that I want to mention, like I think journaling is really powering, you know, 480 00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:04,720 and making a belief stack, where you're writing down 50 things about yourself that you believe 481 00:45:04,720 --> 00:45:10,240 like, you know, you're thinking for yourself, like, I deserve this raise at my job. I deserve 482 00:45:10,240 --> 00:45:17,280 to make $300,000 a year. And if you write down 50 things, 50 reasons why that's true for yourself, 483 00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:22,720 you're going to, I mean, you're going to see some changes in yourself. Like in those, I mean, I 484 00:45:22,720 --> 00:45:30,560 have lists all over the place of compliments I get, things that like I like to write down to look at 485 00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:36,080 when I'm when I'm questioning myself, but it's a practice. All of this is a practice. And you're 486 00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:41,840 not just going to like read a book and be like, Oh my god, my self worth is perfect. But you 487 00:45:41,840 --> 00:45:48,080 practice, you know, and you get yourself out of situations that aren't good for you. And you set 488 00:45:48,080 --> 00:45:52,480 boundaries and you realize that you're able to advocate for yourself and you're getting and 489 00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:58,160 you're valuing yourself, you're, you're taking care of your worth. And the other thing you 490 00:45:58,160 --> 00:46:03,920 know, Mel Robbins, I really like something that she did that, that really stood out to me right 491 00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:09,040 now. And you asked that she has like this high five habit book. And really, it's like looking 492 00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:14,160 at yourself in the mirror in the morning, and giving yourself a high five in the mirror. Like, 493 00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:20,080 I wish that I mean, I think everyone expects there to be some like massive, like, some massively 494 00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:25,040 complicated tool for a lot of these things. But a lot of it is these simple tricks, you know, just 495 00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:32,000 like any way that you can start to like get negative energy, negative people, negative thoughts 496 00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:39,920 out of your life, and bring more positive thoughts, positive people in your life. They that is that is 497 00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:45,200 a lot of the secret. But I work with people on this all the time help them change their lives 498 00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:48,880 by learning that they're worth it, especially working with high achievers that you've proven 499 00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:52,960 yourself, you know, you're a great parent, you're a great employee, you're a great son, a great 500 00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:57,520 daughter, you're, you know, a great partner to your, I mean, to your, I mean, to your part, like 501 00:46:57,520 --> 00:47:04,160 you're doing all of these things right. And you, you're able to do more. I mean, like you, like 502 00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:10,880 you are qualified to get yourself to a new level of worth that matches what you want for yourself. 503 00:47:10,880 --> 00:47:12,560 And I help people with that. 504 00:47:13,120 --> 00:47:19,200 That's awesome. And I appreciate you sharing many of the little tricks, little subtleties that we 505 00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:24,720 can practice, what it will do for those of you. And, you know, just try and experimenting with 506 00:47:24,720 --> 00:47:30,640 these realities, journaling, you know, and then using, there's so many ways we can journal to, 507 00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:34,000 you can journal your negative thoughts, you can also journal your positive thoughts, you can 508 00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:38,720 journal the things that you're upset about and got robbed from you, or you can journal the things 509 00:47:38,720 --> 00:47:44,320 that you're grateful for. The, what you choose to write also has a massive impact and power 510 00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:49,600 on how you feel, or at least that's how it's been for me. This is Mel Robbins' other book, 511 00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:56,160 or one of her other books, The Five Second Rule. She is quite an amazing teacher and loves to 512 00:47:56,160 --> 00:48:01,440 create simple frameworks. You also talked about this, this list, these write these lists of 513 00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:07,040 what I deserve and what I want out of life. Again, very powerful manifestation exercises 514 00:48:07,040 --> 00:48:14,160 that I am, I'm probably going to dive into both of those today myself, depends on if I can fit it 515 00:48:14,160 --> 00:48:21,120 in with my bike rack, but it would be fun. So as we, as we get ready to wrap up, again, I think 516 00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:25,680 the audience, everybody for being here with us today, we'll have in the action steps below the 517 00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:29,760 video, the ways that you can connect with Matt. He mentioned an episode or podcast he was on, 518 00:48:29,760 --> 00:48:34,560 I'll ask him if you can send me the link for it so I can include that in the show. And I'll 519 00:48:34,560 --> 00:48:39,280 send you the link for it so I can include that in the show notes and the resources, of course, 520 00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:44,000 will be down there. If you are a visionary yourself and you're feeling inspired, like you want to be 521 00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:48,720 on the stage and come and talk to us, then you don't have to be Mel Robbins to come onto the 522 00:48:48,720 --> 00:48:54,720 stage. You can be somebody who's not known, that doesn't have a website, doesn't have a presence 523 00:48:54,720 --> 00:49:00,400 like Matt and Mel do, but if you've got a vision of serving others, we want you on the show, 524 00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:04,640 come talk to us about it. And by the way, Mel, we would still be very happy to have you on the 525 00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:08,480 show too. So Matt, any final thoughts you want to share before I wrap up? 526 00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:14,080 No, I mean, I really enjoyed this conversation with you and just, I just, I just want everybody 527 00:49:14,080 --> 00:49:19,440 out there to know that, you know, the only thing that's standing between you and the life that you 528 00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:27,440 want is, is, is your belief. Like nothing has changed about me. I am not, I'm not maybe a little 529 00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:32,480 bit smarter than I was 10 years ago, because I've like done a lot of reading and learning, but like, 530 00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:37,360 I am far from the smartest person in the world. Like I grew my business to where it was making 531 00:49:37,360 --> 00:49:44,240 a million dollars a year for me. Now I'm moving into this purpose driven work. I mean, I, I, 532 00:49:44,240 --> 00:49:51,760 my partner and I have started our surrogacy journey. Like I am just, I cannot believe that my life is 533 00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:56,000 where it's at today. I mean, five years ago, I would have bet a million dollars that I wouldn't 534 00:49:56,000 --> 00:50:03,040 have even lived to be 40 years old. And it is like, it is absolutely possible to change your lives. 535 00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:10,880 And if something isn't feeling right, like it's probably not, you know, so like investigate, 536 00:50:10,880 --> 00:50:18,560 introspect life doesn't like life, like life's not easy, but it's not, it shouldn't feel hard 537 00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:24,720 all the time. Like there should be a lot of joy in it. So anyway, and I love that. I know that, 538 00:50:24,720 --> 00:50:28,080 I know that there's people out there who are going to hear that and gravitate towards it. 539 00:50:28,080 --> 00:50:34,320 And if you know somebody that's struggling with that, maybe just send them this particular episode, 540 00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:40,960 you know, send it over and say, Hey, I heard this thing from Matt about this book called Untamed. 541 00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:46,640 He talks about meditation and you know, let them know what you got out of it. And then that makes 542 00:50:46,640 --> 00:50:51,600 it easier for them to say, okay, if they got something out of it, maybe I will too. Fantastic 543 00:50:51,600 --> 00:50:57,680 advice. And you got one more thing to say, I can tell. Yeah. If you go to my website, I've, 544 00:50:57,680 --> 00:51:02,480 I've distilled literally like what I've spent hundreds of thousands of dollars and tens of 545 00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:08,000 thousands of hours learning into a six step guide to start building your dream life. And if you 546 00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:13,040 download the guide, you can schedule the free 45 minute strategy session with me where I'm happy 547 00:51:13,040 --> 00:51:18,480 to walk you through it and help you start building that life that you always dreamed of, but had 548 00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:25,280 trouble articulating. So I'm here for you. I would love to get a chance to connect with anybody who's 549 00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:29,600 interested. So thank you very much for the time today. And I'm great to, I'm grateful to have 550 00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:34,480 spoken with you all. Yeah, absolutely. We appreciate you guys and we'll see you on the next episode 551 00:51:34,480 --> 00:51:38,640 of Vision Pros Live. Thank you for being here today. I'm really happy that you tuned into Vision 552 00:51:38,640 --> 00:51:44,000 Pros Live. I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions as these episodes continue to move 553 00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:48,720 forward. This is going to get more and more fun. We'll have more and more engagement as well. We'll invite people to 554 00:51:48,720 --> 00:51:53,680 participate in the show. And thank you for giving us your time and attention. Have an excellent time 555 00:51:53,680 --> 00:52:21,680 building out your vision and becoming a Vision.