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I'm going to be a fan. Fun.

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That'll be great. Awesome.

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We're still and still coming

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together. Yeah. Awesome. So,

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this is uh this is book number

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three, right? Book number

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three. Book number three.

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Super fun. What's the title of

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the book? Uh so, it's not

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officially finished like in

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press yet but um mislabeled is

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what we're going for right now.

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Oh, I like that mislabeled and

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uh limiting beliefs. Go ahead.

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Go ahead. You hit it. Yeah, I

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know and then just the

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transforming limiting beliefs

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into liberating ones. So, or

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limiting labels into liberating

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ones. I I really like how you

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wrote that up. I'm going to

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read what you wrote to our team

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about this. Um for those of you

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who are new to Karim Abel Naga,

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he is a Forbes 30 under 30

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education space recipient or

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what do you call that? Um

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that's almost six, seven years

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ago. Hey, that's alright.

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You're on your way to the Forbes

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40 under 40 still. Um so, this

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is good. Um and you've you've

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built such an incredible system

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to help teachers, principals,

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youth, um and for the tutoring

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space, we might just cover that

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a little bit today. We'll

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certainly be showing the the

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scissor row in just a minute

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everybody but we have um this is

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a book that I wrote in the

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last few weeks with Karim and

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in relation to this new book

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about labels and limiting

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beliefs and I would say that the

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imposter syndrome or the fears

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and doubts and preconceived

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notions that we have about

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ourselves hold so many

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excellent leaders back that

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when you propose coming back on

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the show to talk about this, I

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was like, oh yeah, this will be

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awesome. So, I'm going to read

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what you wrote. You said, I

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love to teach. I've been

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working on my third book to

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talk about limiting labels into

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liberating ones. Limiting

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beliefs impede our ability to

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fulfill our full potential. Our

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beliefs drive our behaviors,

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shaping our outcomes. As

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leaders, our behaviors are the

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primary means by which others

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around us learn and oftentimes

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our limiting beliefs are the

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result of a limiting label that

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we have. I know these

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conversations go quickly so we

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can talk about the aspiration

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for it. The framework that

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we're going to be using to

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talk about our conversation

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about strategies to unpack the

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limiting labels. We're going to

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do our best to unpack all of

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that everybody. Um he's also

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about a TED Talk by the way. So,

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I highly recommend checking

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out it if you haven't and um

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before we before we cut to a

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little bit of a break, Karim,

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what what's on your mind and

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heart right now in relation to

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the vision pros community,

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limiting beliefs, limiting

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labels, and what we're going to

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unpack today. I just want

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somebody who's watching this to

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be able to do it and you know,

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whatever that one thing is that

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they've been that's been

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holding them back that this

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pushes them to take that next

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step. So, hoping we'll be able

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to do that together by the end

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of this. I love that. I'm

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certain we will. I hope that

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you listening right now that

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you're the one that you allow

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yourself to open yourself up to

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what we we come across in terms

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of your leadership and one of

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the best ways you can do that is

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don't hesitate to drop a

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question or comment. It doesn't

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matter if we get to it live on

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this show or if we get to it in

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person, we can advertise your

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comments or questions no matter

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when they come in to see if we

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can help you get to that next

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level and we'll see you guys

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right after a little break.

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Alright, welcome in to Vision

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Pros Live with Jackson Calame.

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I'm your show host. We'll be

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doing interviews for visionary

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entrepreneurs and guest

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leaders who are building

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fantastic visions out there.

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Thank you.

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Standing beside me is governing

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board member Karim Abunaga.

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Karim Abunaga is CEO and

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co-founder of Practice Makes

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Perfect. Karim was named to

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Forbes 30 under 30 list. His

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TED Talk was named one of the

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most inspiring speeches of

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twenty-seventeen. Clap three

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times if you can hear me. Seven

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times if you can hear me.

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What's even more exciting is

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that if we can prevent five

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months of lost time just by

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redesigning two months, imagine

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the possibilities that we can

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unlock by tackling the rest of

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the calendar year. What are some

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of the things that you think

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that we as school librarians

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can do to get our kids like

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fired up about our summer

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reading programs? I mean,

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there's so much today on

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individualizing like

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instruction and learning. The

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number one reason why kids show

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up every single day is because

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it's the notion that you wake

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up every single day and

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someone cares about your

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presence. My father passed away

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in 2007. There we were from

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middle class to literally rock

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bottom. A lot of the

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experiences that have come

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through that have made the

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individual that I am today. In

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low income neighborhoods, kids

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forget almost three months of

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what they learned during the

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school year over the summer.

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People respond to urgency. Why

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is this important to you right

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now? Why do you care about

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this today? Why didn't you care

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about this ten days ago or

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twenty days ago or two years

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ago? Why are you so important

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to this person to be doing this

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work in this moment? If we

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truly want to embrace the full

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potential of our future, then

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we need to move away from this

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notion of just looking out for

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my kids and move in the

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direction of looking out for

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all of our kids.

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What's up, Vision Pros? I am so

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excited to have Karim

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back with us today. This is a

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title that says freedom through

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our limiting beliefs, not

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freedom from our limiting

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beliefs and we're going to be

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talking about that

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masterminding and without

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further ado, Karim, welcome

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back to Vision Pros Live. Thank

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you, Jackson. Excited to be

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back and just to continue to

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unpack a little bit more for

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our audience. Absolutely. So,

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I've got this dying. I'm dying

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to ask. I saw on the video, it

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said you had helped already

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over fifty thousand low income

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kids in the last day. Oh, I

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don't have the exact number but

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I know it's over that that

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amount. Um I had a mentor

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early on who said, uh you need

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to make a decision. Um you

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either are going to go really

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deep or you're going to go

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really wide and both of them

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are going to have a very

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different impact and um at the

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time, I remember thinking I

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wanted to help as many kids as

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humanly possible. Um and in the

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process you do, you lose count

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with with what you're doing

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when you're at that scale but

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you're still getting that

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opportunity to interact with a

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scholar who's now, you know,

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I'm aging myself a little bit

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but in college or a mentor who

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is now working in in the world

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like it just continues to

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remind me why we do the work

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that we do day in and day out

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but I'm not stopping until we

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get to that million number. So,

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we're pushing. Dude, that's

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that's huge and it'll be fun to

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look back on 10 to 20 years

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from now. I can't wait to ask

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you about the one side of my

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life. The older I get, the more

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fulfilling life feels because

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of what I've chosen to do with

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my time in a lot of ways, right?

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I don't I don't look at forty

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and think, oh no, I can't

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believe I'm going to be forty.

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I know some people have that

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limiting belief in that label

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of like, well, that's over the

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hill 100 years ago. Um you know

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and people can fear that. I

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look at it. I'm like, oh man,

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like the amount of wisdom that

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I've had, you know, 40 years

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down the road on that, you know,

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it it just, it it gets me

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excited for those next chapters

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of life. Um so, speaking of,

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freedom through our limiting

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beliefs and these labels. I'd

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love for you to walk me through

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either the framework or your

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thoughts and where you're at

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with this. You got the book

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coming out and all that too.

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Uh where do we start? Yeah, I

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mean, I will say it is now with

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the literary agent and the

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process takes its time. It

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takes a lot of time. I just

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want to give you some insight

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into it. Um but II feel like as

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a kid growing up, low income,

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immigrant from another country,

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um from the very like the very

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beginning, you step foot into

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a school and you're labeled,

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right? And for me, it was ESL

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at the time. English is the

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second language learner and

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you're put on a track based on

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that. Um but in the process, I

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as I was learning more about

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the education and equity, I

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started to see that as a

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label. It was also labeled,

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right? Destined to go to

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prison, destined to not be able

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to read, destined to not be

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able to succeed and hold the

285
00:08:46,620 --> 00:08:49,500
titles that I've been fortunate

286
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:51,400
to hold today but wasn't

287
00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:53,300
expected, right? CEO, founder,

288
00:08:51,460 --> 00:08:54,640
um people who are who are

289
00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:56,600
influencing what's happening in

290
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:58,200
business and in politics. Um

291
00:08:56,660 --> 00:08:59,300
and so, I knew that so many

292
00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:00,540
children who are growing up

293
00:08:59,380 --> 00:09:01,800
just like me were being written

294
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,480
off before they even had the

295
00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:05,380
chance to fulfill their

296
00:09:05,380 --> 00:09:09,760
dreams of how do I do this,

297
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:11,360
right? Starting what was a

298
00:09:09,820 --> 00:09:13,320
nonprofit originally out of

299
00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:15,220
school with no wealthy family

300
00:09:13,380 --> 00:09:17,660
or friends to make donations.

301
00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:18,600
How do you do that? Um and then

302
00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:20,260
all along the journey, I used

303
00:09:18,660 --> 00:09:21,640
to think to myself like seeing

304
00:09:20,340 --> 00:09:22,560
folks who are a few years

305
00:09:21,700 --> 00:09:24,240
ahead like when I get there,

306
00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:25,740
I'll be more confident. Um when

307
00:09:24,300 --> 00:09:27,400
I get there, it'll feel a lot

308
00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:28,800
easier, right? And every

309
00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:29,700
single time you get to that

310
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:30,840
place where you thought you

311
00:09:29,780 --> 00:09:31,740
were gonna be, you still

312
00:09:30,900 --> 00:09:33,240
realize that you operate in the

313
00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:35,040
same way. You still doubt

314
00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:37,900
that you're gonna be able to

315
00:09:36,900 --> 00:09:39,600
do that. You need to unpack. I

316
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:41,900
mean, I I spend hours in

317
00:09:39,660 --> 00:09:43,400
therapy every year, right? Um

318
00:09:41,980 --> 00:09:44,880
still unpacking things that I

319
00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:46,180
dealt with as a kid, things

320
00:09:44,940 --> 00:09:47,880
that I'm interacting with

321
00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:50,580
today and I I recognize that so

322
00:09:47,940 --> 00:09:52,320
many of them come back to a

323
00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:53,720
label, right? And that label

324
00:09:52,380 --> 00:09:55,780
sometimes is positive and when

325
00:09:53,780 --> 00:09:57,020
it's positive, it can do so

326
00:09:55,860 --> 00:09:58,360
much for you because it

327
00:09:57,080 --> 00:10:00,020
instills that confidence but

328
00:09:58,420 --> 00:10:01,920
other times, it's limiting and

329
00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:03,900
you don't even recognize that

330
00:10:03,900 --> 00:10:07,600
label. It's true. And so, I

331
00:10:05,900 --> 00:10:10,260
just, as someone who believes,

332
00:10:07,660 --> 00:10:11,760
right? Um we rise to the

333
00:10:10,340 --> 00:10:13,840
expectations that people put

334
00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:15,340
onto us and around us. I

335
00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:16,600
recognize how important it was

336
00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:17,700
to make sure that the labels

337
00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:20,840
that are defining us are also

338
00:10:17,780 --> 00:10:22,640
correct. Wow. That's there's a

339
00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:25,240
lot of profound wisdom in that.

340
00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:26,740
Um you know, and I I guess I

341
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,880
only speak from my background

342
00:10:26,820 --> 00:10:29,420
in relation to that but I've

343
00:10:27,940 --> 00:10:31,760
I've been through some therapy

344
00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:36,300
and I've been through a lot of

345
00:10:33,860 --> 00:10:37,540
twice divorced. Had a lot of us

346
00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:39,040
to learn. Um you know, going

347
00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:40,040
through that and then there's

348
00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:41,680
that label of divorce too and I

349
00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:43,980
know a lot of people get really

350
00:10:41,740 --> 00:10:45,180
really heavily defeated by it.

351
00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:47,140
Um I got a buddy when I got

352
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:48,640
divorced. He said, Jackson, I'm

353
00:10:47,220 --> 00:10:50,480
not worried about you at all.

354
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:51,780
Um and I remember it's like like

355
00:10:50,540 --> 00:10:52,720
my heart started to sing that

356
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:54,780
he said, you don't drink.

357
00:10:52,780 --> 00:10:56,220
You're gonna be fine. And I'm

358
00:10:54,860 --> 00:10:57,720
like, you know what? There's a

359
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:59,220
lot of truth to what you're

360
00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:00,700
saying and and sure enough, you

361
00:11:00,700 --> 00:11:03,600
know, I've had a lot of

362
00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:06,200
depressions and panics that a

363
00:11:03,660 --> 00:11:08,560
lot of other divorces go

364
00:11:06,260 --> 00:11:10,140
through and I in essence, it

365
00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:11,660
kind of liberated me to become a

366
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:13,700
little bit more valuable to

367
00:11:11,740 --> 00:11:15,280
those around me because of

368
00:11:13,780 --> 00:11:16,680
other life choices that I had

369
00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:18,180
made that that gave me a sense

370
00:11:16,740 --> 00:11:19,740
of security in that experience,

371
00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:21,580
right? But I also did do a lot

372
00:11:19,820 --> 00:11:23,140
of reading and a lot of therapy

373
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:25,780
sessions. One of the best books

374
00:11:23,220 --> 00:11:27,680
on the subject of labels in my

375
00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:33,180
life is Buried Alive Never

376
00:11:29,540 --> 00:11:35,680
Die. And that book made immense

377
00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:38,120
impacts on my ability to

378
00:11:35,740 --> 00:11:39,680
recognize what I had become,

379
00:11:38,180 --> 00:11:42,380
what I had left behind that was

380
00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:43,860
part of my own like innate

381
00:11:42,460 --> 00:11:47,660
intrinsic value like what why

382
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:49,160
I'm why I'm worth more than

383
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:50,900
anybody can comprehend without

384
00:11:49,220 --> 00:11:53,100
anybody else putting a label on

385
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:56,060
that themselves, right? So,

386
00:11:56,060 --> 00:12:01,040
I'm not sure if I'm aware out

387
00:11:58,940 --> 00:12:02,680
related to this and yet, I I

388
00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:05,140
worry for those who don't take

389
00:12:02,740 --> 00:12:06,680
the time to to figure these

390
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:08,040
aspects out. What what what do

391
00:12:06,740 --> 00:12:09,640
you have to say about that?

392
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:11,020
Yeah, I mean, I'm I've looked

393
00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:13,280
out there. I've seen what's out

394
00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:14,720
there and and one of the areas

395
00:12:13,340 --> 00:12:16,280
I felt like was lacking was

396
00:12:14,780 --> 00:12:17,520
giving people something simple

397
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:19,260
and giving them a framework

398
00:12:17,580 --> 00:12:21,060
that they could latch onto and

399
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:22,120
I felt like the best

400
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:24,500
leadership books that were out

401
00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:28,560
there were the most simple but

402
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:29,700
then in their framework and

403
00:12:28,620 --> 00:12:30,600
then if you wanted to unpack

404
00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:31,640
the framework even more, you

405
00:12:30,660 --> 00:12:33,500
could get even deeper but if

406
00:12:31,700 --> 00:12:34,640
you didn't even get that far,

407
00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:35,540
you could walk away with some

408
00:12:34,700 --> 00:12:37,600
wisdom that would empower you

409
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:39,040
and so at a high level, if

410
00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:40,440
you're in pursuit of a

411
00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:41,840
leadership position or you're

412
00:12:40,500 --> 00:12:43,940
on a leadership journey, just

413
00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:45,820
expect that people will put

414
00:12:44,020 --> 00:12:47,340
labels onto you all throughout

415
00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:49,480
your journey and those labels

416
00:12:47,420 --> 00:12:51,020
aren't necessarily the right

417
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:52,520
label. So, they should not

418
00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:53,560
always define you, right? And

419
00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:55,840
that's what I'm trying to do

420
00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:57,400
with criticism but the first

421
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:58,580
thing I always tell people is

422
00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,800
expect that labels are going to

423
00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:01,180
come your way, right? And they

424
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,840
say half thick skin. The second

425
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:05,020
piece of it and and what I tried

426
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:07,020
to do was give folks a simple

427
00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:08,520
framework but also related to

428
00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:10,120
something that that we may all

429
00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:12,660
know which is a hermit crab and

430
00:13:10,180 --> 00:13:14,260
the thing I love about hermit

431
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:15,820
crabs is hermit crabs actually

432
00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:17,460
go through multiple shells

433
00:13:15,900 --> 00:13:19,400
throughout their lives and

434
00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:21,160
they're always looking for the

435
00:13:19,460 --> 00:13:22,640
next shell that fits right and

436
00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:27,860
so with this framework, what we

437
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:29,360
start with is a recognition of

438
00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:30,960
the label. That's the very

439
00:13:29,420 --> 00:13:33,220
first step. Sometimes, we know

440
00:13:31,020 --> 00:13:34,520
it's obvious. Sometimes, it's

441
00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:35,600
not so obvious. You've become

442
00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:36,760
numb to it because people have

443
00:13:35,660 --> 00:13:38,000
been saying it to us our whole

444
00:13:36,820 --> 00:13:39,200
lives like, oh, that person is

445
00:13:38,060 --> 00:13:40,540
shy, right? So, their whole

446
00:13:39,260 --> 00:13:41,500
life, they just expect that

447
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:44,100
they're shy but they've never

448
00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:45,600
really been shy and I'll I'll

449
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:48,180
share a personal one for you

450
00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:49,640
all. When I was in, I want to

451
00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:50,780
say like early adulthood, a lot

452
00:13:50,780 --> 00:13:54,260
of times, he's not very

453
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:55,720
emotional. You know, he he can

454
00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:58,400
come across as being cold or

455
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:59,500
distant and so I started to

456
00:13:58,460 --> 00:14:00,800
accept that and say, you know

457
00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:02,940
what? Maybe I am cold. Maybe I

458
00:14:00,860 --> 00:14:04,340
am distant and it wasn't until

459
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,940
I started to unpack that that I

460
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:07,740
realized like, no, actually,

461
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:09,580
I've always been really

462
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:10,980
emotional inside. I just did a

463
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:12,480
really good job at starting to

464
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:13,940
hide it because of the like

465
00:14:12,540 --> 00:14:15,480
trauma I went through as a kid

466
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:16,780
and I knew that when I shared

467
00:14:15,540 --> 00:14:18,920
my feelings or expressed how I

468
00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:23,200
felt, I was not going to take

469
00:14:21,020 --> 00:14:24,700
advantage of. It wasn't until I

470
00:14:23,260 --> 00:14:26,440
got to my age today that I

471
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:28,200
recognize that, no, like

472
00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:29,840
sharing your feelings, you

473
00:14:28,260 --> 00:14:31,140
know, expressing yourself. If

474
00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:32,380
people do take advantage of it,

475
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,880
that's on them but that that

476
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:35,380
vulnerability builds trust and

477
00:14:33,940 --> 00:14:38,540
so the very first step of the

478
00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:40,540
framework is recognize.

479
00:14:38,620 --> 00:14:43,880
Recognize. The second step is

480
00:14:40,620 --> 00:14:45,860
to remove and this is the step

481
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:47,380
that most people forget or

482
00:14:47,380 --> 00:14:50,480
forget about on a limiting

483
00:14:48,980 --> 00:14:51,880
belief like, oh, they tell you

484
00:14:50,540 --> 00:14:53,460
if someone says you're bad at

485
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,820
something, ignore that and and

486
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:56,360
do the opposite and say like,

487
00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:58,120
no, I'm actually really good at

488
00:14:56,420 --> 00:14:59,420
it. Um so, you replace the

489
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,800
negative with a positive,

490
00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:02,500
right? That's the most common

491
00:15:00,860 --> 00:15:04,000
advice out there but what

492
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:06,300
you're not doing is taking the

493
00:15:04,060 --> 00:15:08,340
time to actually remove and the

494
00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:09,800
removal process is where the

495
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,700
critical thinking and the

496
00:15:09,860 --> 00:15:13,780
reflection happens. Um I

497
00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:15,200
remember one of my siblings.

498
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:16,740
They didn't know anything about

499
00:15:16,740 --> 00:15:19,140
the label. They didn't know

500
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:20,740
anything about the label. Um

501
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,840
and I told him, you know, I

502
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,600
gave it back to me to one of my

503
00:15:21,900 --> 00:15:24,140
brothers because every time I

504
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:25,680
gave him money, he never gave

505
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:26,780
it back. Um and so, he started

506
00:15:25,740 --> 00:15:28,180
calling me stingy and he said,

507
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:29,740
you know, you're very stingy

508
00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:31,080
with your money. Um and when

509
00:15:29,820 --> 00:15:32,680
you hear that a couple times,

510
00:15:31,140 --> 00:15:35,220
even if it's from one person,

511
00:15:32,740 --> 00:15:36,760
it starts to like hurt. Um and

512
00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:38,660
so, I sat there. I I recognize

513
00:15:36,820 --> 00:15:39,960
the label. The next thing I

514
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:41,460
started to do when I was

515
00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:42,960
removing it was I didn't just

516
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:44,660
say, oh, you know what? I'm

517
00:15:43,020 --> 00:15:46,360
generous. No, I sat down and I

518
00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:49,340
said, I'm generous, right?

519
00:15:48,100 --> 00:15:51,400
Here's what I've been doing.

520
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:54,380
Here's what I've done and I was

521
00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:56,280
able to effectively remove uh

522
00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:58,240
the label that was there. Um

523
00:15:56,340 --> 00:15:59,720
the example I love to use is if

524
00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:00,480
you've been in a relationship

525
00:15:59,780 --> 00:16:01,480
and you've moved in with

526
00:16:00,540 --> 00:16:02,920
someone before you've gotten

527
00:16:01,540 --> 00:16:05,480
married or you've gotten

528
00:16:02,980 --> 00:16:06,980
married, right? Um let's say

529
00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:07,960
you had an amicable like

530
00:16:07,060 --> 00:16:09,020
falling out. You've decided,

531
00:16:08,020 --> 00:16:09,860
you know what? This

532
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:11,600
relationship isn't it. We're

533
00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:13,300
not going to do it anymore. Um

534
00:16:11,660 --> 00:16:14,800
the next step that you have to

535
00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:16,300
go through is the removal

536
00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:19,000
process. You'll be able to jump

537
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:20,000
into a new relationship and

538
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:21,280
start bringing this new

539
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:23,740
significant other into your

540
00:16:21,340 --> 00:16:26,720
place where your ex partner is.

541
00:16:23,820 --> 00:16:28,320
Yeah. You can try. You can try.

542
00:16:26,780 --> 00:16:31,220
You can try. I beg you don't. I

543
00:16:28,380 --> 00:16:32,520
beg you don't do it. So, you

544
00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:33,520
you have to go through the

545
00:16:32,580 --> 00:16:35,080
process of removing and I'll

546
00:16:33,580 --> 00:16:36,160
I'll give maybe our our

547
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,920
listeners here can't relate to

548
00:16:36,220 --> 00:16:39,520
that one but a new TV, right?

549
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:41,500
You decide, okay, the TV I have

550
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:43,160
in my home isn't working

551
00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:44,640
anymore. It doesn't suit my

552
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:46,240
needs. You go out and you buy a

553
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:49,340
new TV and you put the TV on

554
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,680
top of the old one, right? You

555
00:16:49,420 --> 00:16:52,320
have to go through the process

556
00:16:50,740 --> 00:16:54,180
of actually removing it and

557
00:16:52,380 --> 00:16:55,780
then when you're done removing,

558
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:57,680
then you replace. So, that's

559
00:16:55,840 --> 00:17:00,260
the last step in the framework.

560
00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:01,420
Um so, you recognize, you

561
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,120
remove, and then you replace,

562
00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:05,600
and what you replace it with is

563
00:17:03,180 --> 00:17:07,300
either the the aspirational

564
00:17:05,660 --> 00:17:08,820
version or where you're at

565
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:10,160
today and I I love um one of

566
00:17:08,900 --> 00:17:11,360
the some of the research I ran

567
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:14,240
across on this which says we

568
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:16,000
all need to be authentic and

569
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:19,840
we need to be authentic to

570
00:17:17,740 --> 00:17:21,440
keep your past self, your

571
00:17:19,900 --> 00:17:23,940
present self, or your future

572
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:26,040
self. All three are still

573
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:27,480
yourself um but which

574
00:17:26,100 --> 00:17:28,940
authenticity are you aiming

575
00:17:27,540 --> 00:17:30,720
for and and I always tell folks

576
00:17:29,020 --> 00:17:32,020
like hopefully your present

577
00:17:30,780 --> 00:17:33,420
self is better than your past

578
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,920
self and your future self is

579
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:36,480
going to be better than your

580
00:17:34,980 --> 00:17:37,920
present self and so when you're

581
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:39,220
choosing who you're going to be

582
00:17:37,980 --> 00:17:40,720
authentic to and what you're

583
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:42,300
replacing it with, um you're

584
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:43,800
replacing it either with who

585
00:17:42,360 --> 00:17:45,300
you actually are today or who

586
00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:48,200
you actually are tomorrow and

587
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:49,740
tomorrow, I want to be more

588
00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:51,680
philanthropic. So, I I took

589
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:53,240
this one limiting label. I

590
00:17:51,740 --> 00:17:54,580
recognized it because I heard

591
00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:55,740
it enough times. I took the

592
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:57,520
time to actually remove it and

593
00:17:55,820 --> 00:17:58,720
then I replaced it um and it

594
00:17:57,580 --> 00:18:01,520
goes back to that that hermit

595
00:17:58,780 --> 00:18:03,180
crab, right? Um you're around

596
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:05,260
the shell starts to get really

597
00:18:03,260 --> 00:18:06,560
tight uh as a hermit crab, you

598
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:07,860
can't just put another shell on

599
00:18:06,620 --> 00:18:09,220
top of the existing one. They

600
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,720
also don't have the skeletal

601
00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:12,160
structure for it, right? So,

602
00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:13,560
what do they do? They drop the

603
00:18:12,220 --> 00:18:14,560
shell when they find another

604
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:16,940
hermit crab um and then they

605
00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:18,540
put the new one on and they

606
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,440
again go about their merry

607
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,040
lives and I I use the hermit

608
00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:22,440
crab analogy to say you're

609
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,540
going to go through multiple

610
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:24,980
shells um and you're going to

611
00:18:23,620 --> 00:18:26,440
do this exercise and go through

612
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:28,680
multiple labels throughout your

613
00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:30,120
leadership journey. Oh man,

614
00:18:28,740 --> 00:18:31,560
that is beautiful. Especially,

615
00:18:30,180 --> 00:18:32,660
I was just at Port Aransas,

616
00:18:31,620 --> 00:18:34,560
Texas, right? We're in the,

617
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:36,560
we're on the coast uh gathering

618
00:18:34,620 --> 00:18:37,700
hermit crabs speaking of, you

619
00:18:36,620 --> 00:18:39,200
know, and like playing with all

620
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:40,700
the shells and things. So, it's

621
00:18:39,260 --> 00:18:42,300
right at home for me but this

622
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:44,100
is right at home for me on the

623
00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:47,940
other side of the world. Um

624
00:18:45,940 --> 00:18:50,940
again, back to that book. One

625
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:52,540
of the labels um right that that

626
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:54,140
she explores. She she does an

627
00:18:52,620 --> 00:18:57,120
amazing job of breaking down

628
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:59,080
all of the emotions that exist

629
00:18:57,180 --> 00:19:01,420
known to the English language

630
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:03,060
and pairing them with their

631
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:05,520
counterpart, their opposites.

632
00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:07,000
So, one that really stood out

633
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:08,620
to me and one that really hurt

634
00:19:07,060 --> 00:19:10,560
to evaluate and I was in my

635
00:19:08,700 --> 00:19:11,660
thirties when I did this. Um

636
00:19:10,620 --> 00:19:12,900
you know, it was like, I don't

637
00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:15,400
know if you know, I'm not

638
00:19:14,100 --> 00:19:19,300
tracking time for the most part

639
00:19:15,460 --> 00:19:20,760
but it was happiness and the

640
00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:22,340
opposite of happiness, most of

641
00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:27,380
us know and realize is sadness.

642
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:29,180
Um and I have a sister who has

643
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:30,780
said for the majority of my

644
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:33,380
life, I always feel bad for how

645
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:35,280
sad you you've you were as a

646
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:37,320
child. Um you know, and and you

647
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:38,680
know, she knew my my

648
00:19:37,380 --> 00:19:41,260
relationship with my father. Um

649
00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:46,460
you know, I'm not sure. Anyway,

650
00:19:43,780 --> 00:19:48,620
sad story. Um but I never felt

651
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:50,260
sad. You know, like and she'd

652
00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:52,700
say it and I was like, I'm just

653
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:54,760
me, you know, like but looking

654
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:57,200
back on it in my thirties was

655
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:58,740
like, man, I really get

656
00:19:57,260 --> 00:20:01,080
uncomfortable with happiness.

657
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:02,700
As a teenager, I hated the word

658
00:20:01,140 --> 00:20:04,980
joy like just awkward like

659
00:20:02,780 --> 00:20:07,180
weird. Like it feels like, you

660
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:08,980
know, froufrou and all the

661
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:10,620
woo woo and you know, I kind of

662
00:20:10,620 --> 00:20:14,600
started to realize that nowadays

663
00:20:12,220 --> 00:20:16,100
after reading this book, right?

664
00:20:14,660 --> 00:20:19,440
And really starting to figure

665
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:21,040
out, man, okay, sadness is kind

666
00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:23,640
of robbing me of happiness. How

667
00:20:21,100 --> 00:20:25,240
do I, how do I work on this? I

668
00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:27,340
didn't have your framework but

669
00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:28,640
I had the idea and the concept

670
00:20:27,420 --> 00:20:30,420
and the realization that you

671
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:32,620
know what? It's kind of dumb to

672
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:34,320
be scared of happiness. It's

673
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:35,660
kind of limiting like what if

674
00:20:34,380 --> 00:20:37,060
I'm missing out on a lot of

675
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:38,560
really cool things and important

676
00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:40,060
aspects of life by not having

677
00:20:40,060 --> 00:20:43,900
to worry about this now and

678
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:45,500
reflect back on the last four

679
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,900
to five year journey of

680
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:49,840
associating with it and seeing

681
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:51,340
how I've left my shells behind

682
00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:53,080
and looked at things and there's

683
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:54,580
peers too that help with this.

684
00:20:53,140 --> 00:20:55,580
That would be my next piece of

685
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,940
advice for all of you is that

686
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:57,940
like Gary Vaynerchuk's advice,

687
00:20:57,020 --> 00:20:59,920
he's probably the one who

688
00:20:58,020 --> 00:21:01,520
champions it the most of being

689
00:20:59,980 --> 00:21:03,480
aware of who your circle of

690
00:21:01,580 --> 00:21:05,620
five and ten people are. Those

691
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:07,260
who you're striving to be like

692
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:08,660
and spending time with, one of

693
00:21:08,660 --> 00:21:11,660
the first people to come to

694
00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:15,540
him was JP Sears, the comedian

695
00:21:11,740 --> 00:21:17,540
and he also struggled to become

696
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:19,580
his authentic self so to speak

697
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:21,780
in the present and his Ted

698
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:23,880
talks about it. His process is

699
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:26,580
all about like well learning to

700
00:21:23,940 --> 00:21:28,080
own who you are and be willing

701
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:30,680
to bring that into existence.

702
00:21:28,140 --> 00:21:32,680
He became a figure for me to

703
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:34,660
say, I want to be more like JP

704
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:37,160
Sears. I want to be able to be

705
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:38,220
more me and as I started to

706
00:21:38,220 --> 00:21:40,660
grow, I became in my own

707
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:42,200
version of myself and saying,

708
00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:43,700
you know what? I just want to

709
00:21:42,260 --> 00:21:45,060
be more me. He kind of gave me

710
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:46,240
that that liberation. So, now,

711
00:21:45,140 --> 00:21:47,940
you've given me a framework to

712
00:21:46,300 --> 00:21:49,140
continue to double and triple

713
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,440
down on this in different ways.

714
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,500
So, I'm I'm just super grateful

715
00:21:50,500 --> 00:21:53,400
that we talked about this

716
00:21:51,580 --> 00:21:54,440
today. Oh, of course. Yeah. And

717
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,540
so, when you're talking about

718
00:21:54,500 --> 00:21:56,980
what's out there, I said, okay,

719
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:58,940
how do we distill this? How do

720
00:21:57,040 --> 00:22:00,220
we make it relatable? Um and

721
00:21:59,020 --> 00:22:03,220
then, as we start to unpack it,

722
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:04,480
where are the troughs, right?

723
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:06,060
Where are people going to

724
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:07,220
experience roadblocks or

725
00:22:07,220 --> 00:22:09,720
things like that? And then,

726
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:11,120
we're going to share at least

727
00:22:09,780 --> 00:22:12,120
some of the ones that I think

728
00:22:11,180 --> 00:22:13,600
are are going to be the first

729
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:15,120
ones that you're going to hit.

730
00:22:13,660 --> 00:22:17,260
Uh yeah, let's hear it. So, I

731
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:18,900
think with recognition, that

732
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:20,240
very first step, um one of the

733
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:21,740
things we need to be mindful of

734
00:22:20,300 --> 00:22:23,740
and embracing of is the fact

735
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:26,200
that we all have blind spots.

736
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:28,740
Um so, that is the first spot

737
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:30,240
that uh we need to sort of

738
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:31,540
accept. Um oftentimes, people

739
00:22:30,300 --> 00:22:32,780
tell us things about ourselves

740
00:22:31,620 --> 00:22:34,420
and our first reaction is, no,

741
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:36,020
that's not true. Well, it's a

742
00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:36,880
blind spot, right? So, that's

743
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,520
the first step. That's the

744
00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:41,320
blind spot. So, how do you

745
00:22:39,580 --> 00:22:42,520
accept that you have blind

746
00:22:41,380 --> 00:22:43,760
spots, right? How do you teach

747
00:22:42,580 --> 00:22:45,320
somebody to accept that they

748
00:22:43,820 --> 00:22:47,320
have blind spots? I mean, the

749
00:22:45,380 --> 00:22:48,560
the best someone did for me

750
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:50,220
before was say, you know, like

751
00:22:48,620 --> 00:22:51,200
in your car, when you're

752
00:22:50,300 --> 00:22:52,360
driving, there's just some

753
00:22:51,260 --> 00:22:53,860
spots you can't see and in your

754
00:22:52,420 --> 00:22:55,840
life, it's the very same way

755
00:22:53,940 --> 00:22:57,260
and your reaction to it is

756
00:22:55,900 --> 00:22:58,300
going to be that that's not

757
00:22:57,340 --> 00:22:59,840
true or that's not possible and

758
00:22:58,360 --> 00:23:01,340
it's because you don't see it

759
00:22:59,900 --> 00:23:02,340
but we know just because we

760
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:05,340
can't see it doesn't mean that

761
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:06,840
it's not real. So, we need to

762
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:08,820
have blind spots. So, we need

763
00:23:08,420 --> 00:23:10,420
to start with that level of

764
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:12,320
acceptance and then knowing

765
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:14,460
that, right? We need to be able

766
00:23:12,380 --> 00:23:16,220
to ask ourselves better

767
00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:19,860
questions. So, instead of just

768
00:23:16,300 --> 00:23:22,260
saying like, oh, why am I sad,

769
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:24,860
right? Why was this label put

770
00:23:22,340 --> 00:23:26,160
onto me? Yeah. Of sadness,

771
00:23:24,940 --> 00:23:27,640
right? Why was it done at that

772
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:29,100
particular age? Why is it

773
00:23:27,700 --> 00:23:31,180
being done by this particular

774
00:23:29,180 --> 00:23:33,180
person? Um because when we

775
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:34,080
start to unpack with better

776
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:35,440
questions, we actually get

777
00:23:34,140 --> 00:23:36,780
better answers and oftentimes

778
00:23:36,780 --> 00:23:40,740
we do on on the right learning

779
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:43,180
journey and you know, I I have

780
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:44,680
my weekly newsletter to CEOs

781
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:45,840
and executives to improve their

782
00:23:44,740 --> 00:23:47,340
leadership and it's just one

783
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:48,780
question a week to continue to

784
00:23:47,420 --> 00:23:51,020
reflect on to improve your own

785
00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:52,960
journey. Um when we talk about

786
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:54,460
removal, think about uh the

787
00:23:53,020 --> 00:23:56,220
television, right? Or think

788
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:58,760
about that partner who you've

789
00:23:56,280 --> 00:24:00,200
kind of amicably parted with.

790
00:23:58,820 --> 00:24:01,860
Um one of the things we often

791
00:24:00,260 --> 00:24:03,200
think about is like, I I need

792
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:04,700
to do this on my own. I don't

793
00:24:03,260 --> 00:24:06,660
want to share it and so, I

794
00:24:06,660 --> 00:24:09,600
think that's really important

795
00:24:08,660 --> 00:24:12,440
there which is asking for help.

796
00:24:09,660 --> 00:24:13,800
So, creating the community,

797
00:24:12,500 --> 00:24:15,240
finding people that you can

798
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:16,340
actually ask for help. You

799
00:24:15,300 --> 00:24:17,380
don't want to look to television

800
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:18,440
by yourself. I know they're

801
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:19,680
making them lighter and lighter

802
00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:22,520
weight but still, there's

803
00:24:19,740 --> 00:24:23,640
damage there and you don't you

804
00:24:22,580 --> 00:24:25,220
don't want to unpack and go

805
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,680
through that emotional like

806
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:28,080
baggage or trauma on your own

807
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:29,680
either, right? There's always a

808
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:32,020
lot there. There's always like

809
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:33,520
space for processing. Um I

810
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:34,460
can't tell you how many times

811
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:35,560
like in any relationship

812
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:37,900
relationship, I'm like, am I

813
00:24:36,700 --> 00:24:38,800
seeing this thing? Am I going

814
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:40,000
crazy? That's like, no, this is

815
00:24:38,860 --> 00:24:41,500
normal and then when you hear

816
00:24:40,060 --> 00:24:43,640
that on the other side, it

817
00:24:41,580 --> 00:24:44,980
calms you down. Um so, asking

818
00:24:43,700 --> 00:24:46,480
for help, one of the big pieces

819
00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:48,580
there and then I'll I'll jump

820
00:24:46,540 --> 00:24:51,280
to one for the replace process

821
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:53,480
um but I would really say like

822
00:24:51,340 --> 00:24:54,880
I spoke about the selves but

823
00:24:53,540 --> 00:24:56,360
really taking the time to think

824
00:24:54,940 --> 00:24:57,880
about what is that future

825
00:24:56,420 --> 00:24:59,580
identity that we want to work

826
00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:01,060
towards um because I think when

827
00:24:59,660 --> 00:25:02,320
we think about not who we are

828
00:25:01,120 --> 00:25:04,000
today or who we were before but

829
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:05,500
where are we going? We have so

830
00:25:05,500 --> 00:25:07,840
many things to do. I think we

831
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:08,800
say it doesn't matter where you

832
00:25:07,900 --> 00:25:11,880
start, right? It's about where

833
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:14,080
you finish. Mm hmm. Absolutely.

834
00:25:11,940 --> 00:25:15,540
I'll play uh devil's advocate

835
00:25:14,140 --> 00:25:17,280
or angel's advocate a little

836
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:18,520
bit on the on the seeking the

837
00:25:17,340 --> 00:25:19,620
help. I do believe it's very

838
00:25:18,580 --> 00:25:20,940
important to have a community

839
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:24,020
and have people that surround

840
00:25:21,020 --> 00:25:25,980
us and I grew up with so many

841
00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:27,480
people to turn to and in so many

842
00:25:26,060 --> 00:25:29,420
different households, I became

843
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:31,060
an open book. Um far too open

844
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:32,320
for my own good. Um I didn't

845
00:25:31,120 --> 00:25:33,920
learn until reading some

846
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:35,400
therapy books about like

847
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:37,400
what's the best way for

848
00:25:36,860 --> 00:25:38,960
instance to keep the birds out?

849
00:25:37,460 --> 00:25:39,960
Um and that was really helpful

850
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:41,240
to learn about. I don't remember

851
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,840
the book name. I wish I'd have

852
00:25:41,300 --> 00:25:45,340
looked for it for years. Um

853
00:25:42,900 --> 00:25:48,400
that said, the next layer

854
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:49,940
though of it um I was I was

855
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:51,340
exhausting myself by turning to

856
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,740
friend and friend and family

857
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,940
member, family member, after

858
00:25:52,820 --> 00:25:55,880
family member, and therapist,

859
00:25:54,020 --> 00:25:57,320
etcetera. Uh trying to gather

860
00:25:55,940 --> 00:25:58,620
the world's best advice from

861
00:25:57,380 --> 00:26:02,160
people who are just as human as

862
00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:03,760
I am. And it wasn't until I

863
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:07,300
started to do what I call God,

864
00:26:05,360 --> 00:26:09,040
you know, you you can call it

865
00:26:07,360 --> 00:26:09,840
the universe, you guys can call

866
00:26:09,100 --> 00:26:11,200
it, I don't, I don't care what

867
00:26:09,900 --> 00:26:12,500
you call it, kind of banana.

868
00:26:11,260 --> 00:26:14,200
Um but for me, there's an extra

869
00:26:12,580 --> 00:26:17,180
connection there and it wasn't

870
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:20,640
until going through my darkest

871
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:23,120
hours and instead of searching

872
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:25,380
for help from my mom to solve

873
00:26:23,180 --> 00:26:27,160
the problem or my best friend

874
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:30,160
to solve the problem, it wasn't

875
00:26:27,220 --> 00:26:32,760
until really diving into fetal

876
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:36,740
health um from a source that I

877
00:26:35,360 --> 00:26:39,140
didn't really know if it was

878
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:42,040
there or not. That I really

879
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:46,040
begin to unlock my own sense of

880
00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:47,640
uh I am who I am and I belong

881
00:26:46,100 --> 00:26:50,380
right where I'm at and I'm good.

882
00:26:47,700 --> 00:26:51,720
Um so I would also encourage

883
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:53,180
anybody whether you're

884
00:26:51,780 --> 00:26:54,680
meditation power or prayer

885
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:57,280
power, whatever word you prefer

886
00:26:54,740 --> 00:26:58,780
is walking the block. Um you

887
00:26:57,360 --> 00:27:02,720
know, and taking in the outside

888
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:07,620
voices from the outside world.

889
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:09,560
I think I think it's so

890
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:13,460
important to combine the voices

891
00:27:09,620 --> 00:27:14,920
within and those those external

892
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:16,360
opportunities for help from

893
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,260
friends and family to to have

894
00:27:16,420 --> 00:27:18,300
some type of balance related to

895
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:19,100
that. What are your thoughts on

896
00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:20,760
that? Karim? You're welcome to

897
00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:22,560
challenge me. Yeah, I I think

898
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:24,260
asking for help is just so

899
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:26,700
important but who you ask for

900
00:27:24,340 --> 00:27:29,040
help in the situation matters.

901
00:27:26,780 --> 00:27:30,740
Um one of my like good CEO

902
00:27:30,740 --> 00:27:34,720
people in the neighborhood, it

903
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:36,720
goes uh they're folks in a

904
00:27:34,780 --> 00:27:38,720
village and this guy is

905
00:27:36,780 --> 00:27:40,160
climbing a tree. Um he gets to

906
00:27:38,780 --> 00:27:41,720
the top and then he falls off

907
00:27:40,220 --> 00:27:43,760
and he hits his head like lands

908
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:45,260
really really hard. Um the

909
00:27:43,820 --> 00:27:46,760
entire village like runs over

910
00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:50,060
to the guy to see if he's okay.

911
00:27:46,820 --> 00:27:51,540
Um he's conscious but um needs

912
00:27:50,140 --> 00:27:53,040
some support and they're like,

913
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:54,640
do you want a medic? Do you

914
00:27:53,100 --> 00:27:56,140
need the police? Do you want us

915
00:27:54,700 --> 00:27:57,940
to call your family? Like, what

916
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:59,640
can we do for you? And he says,

917
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,720
I want you to find me the guy

918
00:28:01,340 --> 00:28:04,920
who climbed the tree last and

919
00:28:02,780 --> 00:28:06,520
fell down like I did. Um

920
00:28:04,980 --> 00:28:07,980
because that person knows how

921
00:28:06,580 --> 00:28:10,560
to recover and move forward

922
00:28:08,060 --> 00:28:12,660
from here. Um so, I think yes

923
00:28:10,620 --> 00:28:14,600
to your point about like asking

924
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:16,860
people for help but are we

925
00:28:14,660 --> 00:28:18,300
asking the right source um for

926
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:19,460
the support when we need it? Are

927
00:28:18,360 --> 00:28:21,060
we going to the person who has

928
00:28:19,540 --> 00:28:22,600
the lived or shared experience

929
00:28:21,140 --> 00:28:24,200
who can share their perspective

930
00:28:22,660 --> 00:28:25,600
because I often say, don't ask

931
00:28:24,260 --> 00:28:28,080
people for advice, ask them for

932
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:32,140
advice, ask them for advice and

933
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:33,580
it's their own experience and

934
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:34,280
it's their own personal

935
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:35,840
experience and you take what

936
00:28:34,340 --> 00:28:37,520
you need from it and can move

937
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:39,040
forward. Otherwise, like you

938
00:28:37,580 --> 00:28:40,280
decide, hey, I'm not using this

939
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:41,680
not as personal. Right? So,

940
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:43,080
when we ask for advice, the

941
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:44,520
person is now invested in you

942
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:45,160
doing what they did but that

943
00:28:44,580 --> 00:28:46,820
work for them doesn't mean it's

944
00:28:45,220 --> 00:28:48,420
going to work for you. Correct.

945
00:28:46,900 --> 00:28:50,660
I love that. That's a fun

946
00:28:48,500 --> 00:28:53,000
parable too. Um I once heard

947
00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:55,940
somebody who is probably 85 um

948
00:28:53,060 --> 00:28:57,940
challenge younger generations

949
00:28:57,940 --> 00:29:01,780
to ask for advice regarding

950
00:28:59,940 --> 00:29:03,220
marriage specifically um from

951
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:04,940
people who are your age. They're

952
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:06,920
just as lost as you are. You

953
00:29:05,020 --> 00:29:09,720
know, ask generations that have

954
00:29:06,980 --> 00:29:12,360
decades of experience ahead of

955
00:29:09,780 --> 00:29:13,960
you. Um and it you know, I

956
00:29:12,420 --> 00:29:15,860
think there's, I like, again, I

957
00:29:14,020 --> 00:29:17,320
like how I can combine the

958
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:19,060
formula of what they were

959
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:20,500
teaching of. Okay, the the

960
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:21,960
elderly have wisdom that we

961
00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:25,500
just cannot possibly fathom and

962
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:27,100
understand and yet even my kids,

963
00:29:27,100 --> 00:29:30,180
they have wisdom and policy and

964
00:29:28,780 --> 00:29:32,140
understandings that I can't

965
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:33,580
understand without their

966
00:29:32,220 --> 00:29:35,020
insights. So, when you can look

967
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:36,920
at it and appreciate it from the

968
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:39,260
reality of perspective versus

969
00:29:36,980 --> 00:29:41,860
trying to have an iron fist

970
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:45,100
control on truths that we don't

971
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:46,920
fully understand. Um it's once

972
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:50,060
again, it's liberating from uh

973
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:52,000
the ability to both accept,

974
00:29:50,140 --> 00:29:55,160
well, recognize, remove,

975
00:29:52,060 --> 00:29:56,640
replace, and ultimately, move

976
00:29:56,640 --> 00:30:00,000
forward and have freedom, right?

977
00:29:58,100 --> 00:30:01,200
Just, just. Yeah, Jackson. I

978
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:03,680
just, I wanna dig in a little

979
00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:05,180
bit there just because um it's

980
00:30:03,740 --> 00:30:06,680
very common when you're an

981
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:07,680
entrepreneur or when you're

982
00:30:06,740 --> 00:30:08,380
getting ready to start a

983
00:30:07,740 --> 00:30:10,680
business to go around asking

984
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:13,620
people for advice and uh the

985
00:30:10,740 --> 00:30:15,280
one thing that we forget is um

986
00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:16,520
one of my executive coaches

987
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:18,160
like always reminds me like we

988
00:30:16,580 --> 00:30:19,520
have three brains, right? We

989
00:30:18,220 --> 00:30:20,620
have like our heart brain. We

990
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:23,460
have our brain brain and then

991
00:30:20,700 --> 00:30:25,200
we have our gut brain. Um and

992
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:28,440
we're very sophisticated at the

993
00:30:26,980 --> 00:30:29,640
level that it needs to be to be

994
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:31,820
able to express what's in our

995
00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:33,420
gut or in our heart brain,

996
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:34,480
right? Um and oftentimes when

997
00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:36,080
we're asking people for advice,

998
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:37,620
we usually don't have all of

999
00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:39,320
the time in the world to be

1000
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:40,760
able to give them every little

1001
00:30:39,380 --> 00:30:42,620
bit of detail and information

1002
00:30:40,820 --> 00:30:44,200
that we have and we're not able

1003
00:30:42,700 --> 00:30:46,200
to transfer how we're actually

1004
00:30:44,260 --> 00:30:48,060
feeling about something whether

1005
00:30:46,260 --> 00:30:49,660
in our gut or in our heart um

1006
00:30:48,140 --> 00:30:51,000
in that moment and so when

1007
00:30:49,740 --> 00:30:52,100
you're asking someone to give

1008
00:30:51,060 --> 00:30:53,140
you advice on something, you're

1009
00:30:53,140 --> 00:30:56,620
asking them to give you

1010
00:30:54,180 --> 00:30:58,060
information. Um and if there's

1011
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,560
one party involved and you're

1012
00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:01,160
not able to articulate what's

1013
00:30:59,620 --> 00:31:02,720
in your heart and in your gut.

1014
00:31:01,220 --> 00:31:03,760
So, if you do an amazing job

1015
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:04,820
articulating everything that's

1016
00:31:03,820 --> 00:31:06,660
in your brain, you've given

1017
00:31:04,900 --> 00:31:09,060
them 30% of the information and

1018
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:10,560
if you have two people involved

1019
00:31:09,140 --> 00:31:11,640
in that situation, you're not

1020
00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:12,740
even able to share the other

1021
00:31:11,700 --> 00:31:13,640
person's perspective. You're

1022
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:16,840
asking them to give you advice

1023
00:31:13,700 --> 00:31:18,680
with 15% of the context. Yes.

1024
00:31:16,900 --> 00:31:19,880
Do you want people really

1025
00:31:18,740 --> 00:31:21,080
making decisions for how you're

1026
00:31:19,940 --> 00:31:22,440
going to operate something in

1027
00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:26,080
your situation if you did an

1028
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:27,140
incredible job and I would say

1029
00:31:26,140 --> 00:31:28,420
when you think about it,

1030
00:31:27,220 --> 00:31:30,420
actually that way, the answer

1031
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:31,420
is always no. Correct. But that

1032
00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:32,560
doesn't mean you can't learn

1033
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:34,280
from a similar experience and

1034
00:31:32,620 --> 00:31:35,860
then distill it and say, okay,

1035
00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:37,560
this sounds right. This makes

1036
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:38,460
sense. This doesn't. So, I just

1037
00:31:37,620 --> 00:31:39,660
I wanted to dig in a little bit

1038
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:41,000
more there because I know

1039
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:43,000
there's a lot of entrepreneurs,

1040
00:31:41,060 --> 00:31:44,400
founders, and and CEOs

1041
00:31:43,060 --> 00:31:46,360
watching. I'm glad you did

1042
00:31:44,460 --> 00:31:47,560
because that's probably the

1043
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:49,440
greatest mistake that I see

1044
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:51,240
business owners doing. Um you

1045
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:55,080
know, I'm not saying this is my

1046
00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:56,680
mouse pad. The effective

1047
00:31:55,140 --> 00:31:58,220
executive by Peter Drucker and

1048
00:31:56,740 --> 00:31:59,680
it boils down. The principles

1049
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:01,680
boil down to three things that

1050
00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:04,260
I just do not see executives

1051
00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:05,720
doing and they wonder why

1052
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:07,260
they're not moving their brands

1053
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:08,760
forward and their success forward.

1054
00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:10,560
One, knowing my time. Like, know

1055
00:32:08,820 --> 00:32:12,200
how you're using your time and

1056
00:32:10,620 --> 00:32:13,800
having somebody else log it so

1057
00:32:12,260 --> 00:32:15,160
you become effective with the

1058
00:32:13,860 --> 00:32:16,840
time you're using to know how

1059
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:18,440
ineffective you are. Two, he

1060
00:32:16,900 --> 00:32:20,240
talks about how executives need

1061
00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:23,240
to know how to build in order

1062
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:25,180
to build what they need to

1063
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:26,620
build. Three, he says, stop

1064
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:28,120
judging them based on days and

1065
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:29,660
based on weeks and based on

1066
00:32:28,180 --> 00:32:32,180
months. Give them quarters.

1067
00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:35,120
That's how they're their metrics

1068
00:32:32,260 --> 00:32:37,600
should be evaluated. And if we

1069
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:39,020
don't do that, right? If we're

1070
00:32:37,660 --> 00:32:40,800
trying to cram everything into

1071
00:32:39,100 --> 00:32:42,460
that 30-minute meeting or we're

1072
00:32:40,860 --> 00:32:44,160
trying to get to know people

1073
00:32:42,540 --> 00:32:46,040
super fast without diving into

1074
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:48,800
depth or judging people based

1075
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:53,400
on results that in one case

1076
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:56,240
study, the SBA, I believe it is

1077
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:57,880
says 96% of businesses fell

1078
00:32:56,300 --> 00:33:00,580
within 10 years and another

1079
00:32:57,940 --> 00:33:03,120
government agency says 65% fell

1080
00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:04,820
within 10 years. Um I don't

1081
00:33:03,180 --> 00:33:06,320
really care which stat matters.

1082
00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:07,760
Like, I'm not too addicted to

1083
00:33:06,380 --> 00:33:09,360
that number. The reality is, I

1084
00:33:07,820 --> 00:33:12,720
would never send my kids to a

1085
00:33:09,420 --> 00:33:15,660
school or the success rate is

1086
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:17,260
less than 65% or even close. We

1087
00:33:17,260 --> 00:33:20,540
are a small business. We are

1088
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:21,140
a small business. We are

1089
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:22,180
entrepreneurship. We are

1090
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,180
struggling tremendously to make

1091
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:24,180
the impacts we want to make and

1092
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:25,580
we're struggling to get the

1093
00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:27,180
freedoms that we want. I think

1094
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:29,280
you nailed it on the head with

1095
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:30,480
the assessment that there's

1096
00:33:29,340 --> 00:33:32,120
context and I'll and I'll give

1097
00:33:30,540 --> 00:33:34,580
you one more example. Karim, if

1098
00:33:32,180 --> 00:33:36,260
I had an event that I want to

1099
00:33:34,660 --> 00:33:38,260
grow, what is your number one

1100
00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:39,720
piece of advice to be able to

1101
00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:41,020
make sure we maximize the

1102
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:42,560
amount of people there, Karim?

1103
00:33:41,100 --> 00:33:44,460
What what? Let's play with this.

1104
00:33:42,620 --> 00:33:45,960
Well, I can't give advice. You

1105
00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:48,940
know, I can't give advice. I

1106
00:33:47,540 --> 00:33:50,580
didn't have a lot of people

1107
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:52,000
there. There you go. What's

1108
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:54,440
your one perspective if we were

1109
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:56,540
to go on the fast version? Um I

1110
00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:59,240
would say download a list of

1111
00:33:56,620 --> 00:34:01,420
all of your contacts. So,

1112
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:03,380
phone book. There you go. Email

1113
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:05,020
LinkedIn and send messages to

1114
00:34:03,460 --> 00:34:07,020
them even knowing even if those

1115
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:09,660
folks couldn't attend. I like

1116
00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:11,220
the advice. I like it but what

1117
00:34:09,720 --> 00:34:12,620
what the challenge that you

1118
00:34:11,300 --> 00:34:14,800
talked about in this very real

1119
00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:18,800
situation is that if my event

1120
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:20,360
were tomorrow, right? And I

1121
00:34:18,860 --> 00:34:21,840
didn't tell Karim that. That

1122
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:24,840
might not be the most effective

1123
00:34:21,900 --> 00:34:25,840
or useful time or for like I

1124
00:34:24,900 --> 00:34:26,980
shouldn't be spending my time

1125
00:34:25,900 --> 00:34:28,740
on that perhaps. There's other

1126
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:31,540
things I might need to do but

1127
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:33,140
we often blame people like

1128
00:34:31,620 --> 00:34:34,620
Karim, right? We ask for the

1129
00:34:33,220 --> 00:34:36,320
advice and then we say, well,

1130
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:38,020
how, you know, what you told me

1131
00:34:36,380 --> 00:34:39,080
doesn't work. It's that's not,

1132
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:40,360
that's not what's going to

1133
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:41,920
drive the needle for me

1134
00:34:40,420 --> 00:34:44,120
tomorrow and we create these

1135
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:47,160
problems. We accept

1136
00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:48,100
responsibility for the

1137
00:34:47,240 --> 00:34:49,540
situation or we don't know what

1138
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:50,740
to do with the advice or

1139
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:51,940
perspective that's given. Go

1140
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:52,940
ahead. Bridge further gaps. No,

1141
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:54,600
I was gonna say in Jackson,

1142
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:56,100
even with all of the awareness

1143
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:57,540
and my feelings around the

1144
00:34:56,180 --> 00:34:59,040
topic, you saw how willing I

1145
00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:00,840
was and eager to jump in,

1146
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:02,220
right? And so, the recipient on

1147
00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:04,020
the other side just wants to be

1148
00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:06,020
helpful, right? Like, here's

1149
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:07,560
this opportunity to fill a cup,

1150
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:09,080
right? And someone is coming to

1151
00:35:07,620 --> 00:35:10,560
you with their problems and

1152
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:11,920
they often say, right, the best

1153
00:35:10,620 --> 00:35:13,020
way to get over your problems

1154
00:35:13,020 --> 00:35:15,440
is to just say, here's this

1155
00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:16,980
opportunity to do something

1156
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:18,220
good, to do something meaningful

1157
00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:19,920
in the world. They're not

1158
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:21,380
thinking, hey, let me ask some

1159
00:35:19,980 --> 00:35:22,860
deeper questions first and find

1160
00:35:21,460 --> 00:35:24,380
out. Well, when is this event?

1161
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:25,560
What what's happening? Did I do

1162
00:35:24,460 --> 00:35:28,420
I have all the context? What

1163
00:35:25,620 --> 00:35:29,060
kind of event is it? They're

1164
00:35:28,500 --> 00:35:30,560
just gonna give you what they

1165
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:31,860
have. Work with what you've

1166
00:35:30,620 --> 00:35:32,600
told them. Assume that what

1167
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:34,060
you've given them is

1168
00:35:32,660 --> 00:35:36,240
everything when it's not. Yes.

1169
00:35:34,140 --> 00:35:37,660
Okay. So, it leads me to

1170
00:35:36,300 --> 00:35:39,140
another funny story. This is a

1171
00:35:37,740 --> 00:35:40,940
former quit in Saman from high

1172
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:42,780
school and he was writing a

1173
00:35:42,780 --> 00:35:45,560
book about it. He was a

1174
00:35:44,620 --> 00:35:47,060
professional writer. He was

1175
00:35:45,620 --> 00:35:48,600
writing a book about it. So, he,

1176
00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:49,660
you know, he's not he's not the

1177
00:35:48,660 --> 00:35:51,320
type person to do this but he

1178
00:35:49,720 --> 00:35:52,960
drove into McDonald's. He got

1179
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:54,400
them breakfast, right? And he

1180
00:35:53,020 --> 00:35:56,840
comes and brings it back to

1181
00:35:54,460 --> 00:35:58,360
them. And you know, he's he's

1182
00:35:56,900 --> 00:35:59,860
excited to do this good deed.

1183
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:01,340
And then he says the guy starts,

1184
00:35:59,940 --> 00:36:04,600
you know, he says, did you give

1185
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:06,300
me the pancakes? And the

1186
00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:08,280
pancakes. And so, the guy

1187
00:36:06,380 --> 00:36:09,720
complained. So, this acquaintance

1188
00:36:08,340 --> 00:36:12,280
of mine from high school cusses

1189
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:16,120
me out. This is what Facebook

1190
00:36:14,820 --> 00:36:17,220
post is all about. Next time

1191
00:36:16,180 --> 00:36:18,480
you see, you know, next time

1192
00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:20,020
somebody tries to help you,

1193
00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:21,660
just receive the help and I was

1194
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:23,120
like, oh, this is one way to

1195
00:36:21,720 --> 00:36:24,460
look at it, you know, but

1196
00:36:23,180 --> 00:36:26,300
there's another perspective of

1197
00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:27,720
like, man, this guy probably

1198
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:29,260
wanted compassion more than he

1199
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:31,960
wanted, more than he wanted

1200
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:33,700
breakfast. Um so, it it's hard

1201
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:36,600
though as human beings, you

1202
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:38,540
know, we we tend to sometimes

1203
00:36:36,660 --> 00:36:40,140
gravitate towards

1204
00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:41,680
misunderstanding the label,

1205
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:44,160
right? So, we have to have

1206
00:36:43,260 --> 00:36:45,920
limiting beliefs. So, let's

1207
00:36:44,220 --> 00:36:47,660
spend some time on that. How how

1208
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,700
in that perspective? Like,

1209
00:36:47,720 --> 00:36:50,400
what's another perspective to

1210
00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:54,700
look at from that scenario that

1211
00:36:50,460 --> 00:36:56,640
would free my friend from the

1212
00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:58,140
limiting beliefs of, man, I I

1213
00:36:56,700 --> 00:36:59,640
bought this and this guy is

1214
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:00,640
completely ungrateful and

1215
00:36:59,700 --> 00:37:01,780
basically unworthy of help.

1216
00:37:00,700 --> 00:37:03,680
Like, what what's another way

1217
00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:05,080
to look at that? I would say

1218
00:37:03,740 --> 00:37:07,620
the limiting belief there is

1219
00:37:05,140 --> 00:37:11,480
that not everyone is grateful

1220
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:16,380
for help. The other thing I

1221
00:37:15,380 --> 00:37:18,380
need to recognize is that I've

1222
00:37:16,460 --> 00:37:19,880
just said that people aren't

1223
00:37:18,460 --> 00:37:21,420
always grateful for help or not

1224
00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:23,320
everyone is grateful for help

1225
00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:25,500
and now what I would need to do

1226
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:27,200
is start to remove that and

1227
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:28,700
think back to instances where I

1228
00:37:27,260 --> 00:37:30,200
have helped people and maybe

1229
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:31,340
given them something off the

1230
00:37:30,260 --> 00:37:33,500
shelf and they've actually

1231
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:36,340
appreciated it. Whether it was

1232
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:37,900
uh perspective or he went and

1233
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:39,280
actually gave breakfast to

1234
00:37:37,980 --> 00:37:40,280
someone else in a completely

1235
00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:44,120
different way or he disappeared

1236
00:37:41,380 --> 00:37:45,560
or he donated money and the

1237
00:37:44,180 --> 00:37:47,080
person on the other side of it

1238
00:37:45,620 --> 00:37:49,560
received it and was helpful and

1239
00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:51,960
now now that he's um started to

1240
00:37:49,620 --> 00:37:54,200
remove it, he can replace it

1241
00:37:52,020 --> 00:37:55,800
with uh in this one instance,

1242
00:37:54,260 --> 00:37:58,200
this person didn't appreciate

1243
00:37:55,860 --> 00:38:01,100
what I did off the shelf. Yeah.

1244
00:37:58,260 --> 00:38:03,100
Absolutely. There's a huge

1245
00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:04,600
opportunity on on our side,

1246
00:38:03,180 --> 00:38:07,100
right? As the individual who

1247
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:10,140
takes that bold leap of faith to

1248
00:38:10,140 --> 00:38:15,200
be gender judged in essence and

1249
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:17,580
you know, if we can, if we can

1250
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:19,140
take this step back, then we

1251
00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:22,140
don't have to ruin somebody

1252
00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:24,020
else's day. Um you know, while

1253
00:38:22,220 --> 00:38:25,580
also we may get to see things

1254
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:27,120
from a more holistic

1255
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:30,060
perspective. So, these things

1256
00:38:27,180 --> 00:38:32,160
come up to as leaders of

1257
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:33,360
companies. Um they these

1258
00:38:32,220 --> 00:38:34,860
perspectives come up when you're

1259
00:38:33,420 --> 00:38:36,120
dealing with prospects, people

1260
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:37,660
who may want to work with you,

1261
00:38:37,660 --> 00:38:42,560
right? So, what are what are

1262
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:44,500
some ways that you see this

1263
00:38:42,620 --> 00:38:46,660
coming up in leaders lives on a

1264
00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:48,400
daily, weekly, or monthly basis?

1265
00:38:46,720 --> 00:38:51,660
I would say assumptions, right?

1266
00:38:48,460 --> 00:38:53,600
So, the the first part of when

1267
00:38:51,740 --> 00:38:55,840
I talk about the removal stage,

1268
00:38:53,660 --> 00:38:58,680
it's uncovering our existing

1269
00:38:55,900 --> 00:39:00,880
narrative and I'll use two

1270
00:38:58,740 --> 00:39:03,580
instances from work in the last

1271
00:39:00,940 --> 00:39:05,640
like year. I had a colleague

1272
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:07,280
and I was talking to him about

1273
00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:11,280
what he was going to lead in

1274
00:39:08,940 --> 00:39:14,120
order to change a certain

1275
00:39:11,340 --> 00:39:15,820
process and the colleague went,

1276
00:39:14,180 --> 00:39:18,080
he met with this team twice on

1277
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:19,480
the calendar from what I saw

1278
00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:20,660
and during a team meeting, I

1279
00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:23,220
said, hey, how's the meeting

1280
00:39:20,720 --> 00:39:24,160
been going? Um I recognize

1281
00:39:23,300 --> 00:39:25,160
you've had a couple meetings

1282
00:39:24,220 --> 00:39:28,300
and he said, no, I haven't had

1283
00:39:25,220 --> 00:39:29,760
any meetings and I said, what

1284
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:31,260
do you mean? Like, physically

1285
00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:32,700
had a meeting and it wasn't

1286
00:39:31,340 --> 00:39:33,900
until I impacted with my coach

1287
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:35,300
and in that conversation

1288
00:39:35,300 --> 00:39:40,240
with him, we discussed the

1289
00:39:36,780 --> 00:39:41,420
process change and so what he's

1290
00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:43,080
saying about not having a

1291
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:45,360
meeting is not untrue and what

1292
00:39:43,140 --> 00:39:47,320
I'm expecting to be about that

1293
00:39:45,420 --> 00:39:48,320
is also not untrue. There was a

1294
00:39:47,380 --> 00:39:49,560
physical meeting but it wasn't

1295
00:39:48,380 --> 00:39:51,320
about the topic and so it didn't

1296
00:39:49,620 --> 00:39:52,900
count and so like we jump in

1297
00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:54,320
with our assumption right away.

1298
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:55,860
I didn't even take the time to

1299
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:57,300
do any discovery and see why is

1300
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:59,260
it that he was saying that that

1301
00:39:57,360 --> 00:40:00,840
wasn't a meeting until after it

1302
00:39:59,340 --> 00:40:02,340
got heated and then I unpacked

1303
00:40:00,900 --> 00:40:03,800
it and realized, hey, you know,

1304
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:06,840
I'm not going to be able to

1305
00:40:05,260 --> 00:40:08,500
label his like physical like

1306
00:40:06,900 --> 00:40:09,880
coming together as being the

1307
00:40:08,580 --> 00:40:11,740
meeting on the topic that we

1308
00:40:09,940 --> 00:40:13,580
wanted to discuss. Uh had the

1309
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:15,140
same thing with another

1310
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:17,720
colleague about an interview

1311
00:40:15,220 --> 00:40:19,240
process where she said, you

1312
00:40:17,780 --> 00:40:20,280
know, I I feel really taken it

1313
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:22,760
back that I wasn't involved in

1314
00:40:20,340 --> 00:40:24,760
this interview process and I

1315
00:40:22,820 --> 00:40:25,860
was like, you know, you were

1316
00:40:24,820 --> 00:40:26,760
involved in the interview

1317
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:27,720
process and really what she was

1318
00:40:26,820 --> 00:40:28,760
saying was she wasn't involved

1319
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:30,220
in the interview process in the

1320
00:40:28,820 --> 00:40:32,000
way that she wanted to be

1321
00:40:30,300 --> 00:40:33,760
involved in the interview

1322
00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:36,600
process and she was actually

1323
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:39,140
in it and so I think often

1324
00:40:36,660 --> 00:40:41,200
times with labels, we jump in

1325
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:43,700
and we assume quickly. Um when

1326
00:40:41,260 --> 00:40:45,140
you at the very beginning when

1327
00:40:43,780 --> 00:40:46,700
I say, recognize, I say like,

1328
00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:47,980
how do we ask better questions

1329
00:40:46,780 --> 00:40:51,680
and how do we create space to

1330
00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:54,880
reflect? Uh huge. I I'm a big

1331
00:40:51,740 --> 00:40:56,780
fan of the concept of of not

1332
00:40:54,940 --> 00:40:58,280
making assumptions and our

1333
00:40:56,860 --> 00:41:00,620
survival instinct, I think is a

1334
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:02,220
big part of why we do that. Um

1335
00:41:02,220 --> 00:41:07,440
we're trying to um to protect

1336
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:09,060
ourselves instinctively and

1337
00:41:07,500 --> 00:41:10,700
there's there's a good and bad

1338
00:41:09,140 --> 00:41:12,140
um you know, to doing just that.

1339
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:14,000
There's also our expectations

1340
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:16,140
um and that's the one that I I

1341
00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:17,780
tend to talk about more often

1342
00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:20,820
is I'm I'm a big believer that

1343
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:22,220
expectation is a vice um and

1344
00:41:20,880 --> 00:41:24,680
I'm a big fan of the quote from

1345
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:26,580
William Shakespeare. Expectation

1346
00:41:24,740 --> 00:41:28,020
is a root of all heartache.

1347
00:41:26,660 --> 00:41:28,760
Well, we live in a world where

1348
00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:30,360
businesses are built on

1349
00:41:28,820 --> 00:41:31,420
quarterly expectations um and

1350
00:41:31,420 --> 00:41:34,620
when I have expectations with

1351
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:36,320
me and I have a constant uphill

1352
00:41:34,700 --> 00:41:37,800
battle cream with people, I'm

1353
00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:39,200
like, I don't have expectations

1354
00:41:37,860 --> 00:41:40,900
with you. I don't allow myself

1355
00:41:39,260 --> 00:41:42,400
to and and there's this

1356
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:45,740
dialogue that has to take place

1357
00:41:42,460 --> 00:41:49,340
because I I refuse to do that

1358
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:50,380
to people. Um when oh, cuz that

1359
00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:51,500
leaves me too. So, you can

1360
00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:52,540
answer that with the question

1361
00:41:51,580 --> 00:41:53,740
about that. Like, what do you

1362
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:55,340
recommend for me to do in those

1363
00:41:53,820 --> 00:41:56,840
scenarios and two, here's but

1364
00:41:55,420 --> 00:41:59,420
here's my next one that I also

1365
00:41:56,920 --> 00:42:00,920
want your advice on. People say

1366
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:04,900
that's like what you know, oh,

1367
00:42:02,460 --> 00:42:05,600
you're a coach, right? Or

1368
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:06,800
whatever it is. You're a

1369
00:42:05,660 --> 00:42:08,360
podcaster and I'm like, you

1370
00:42:06,860 --> 00:42:10,700
know that box everybody says to

1371
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:13,640
think outside of? I never found

1372
00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:15,800
it and I I don't plan on or

1373
00:42:13,700 --> 00:42:16,940
intend to find it. Oh, so if

1374
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:18,280
you're going to try to put me

1375
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:20,240
in it, I'm I'm not going to go

1376
00:42:18,340 --> 00:42:21,740
into it. Um you can do your

1377
00:42:20,300 --> 00:42:23,240
labels all you want to but just

1378
00:42:21,820 --> 00:42:24,440
know that that's not a full

1379
00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:26,720
representation of who I am and

1380
00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:29,360
what I do, right? That's it's

1381
00:42:26,780 --> 00:42:30,860
kind of a a strange reality to

1382
00:42:30,860 --> 00:42:36,000
me. So, am I am I if my

1383
00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:38,600
fighting an uphill battle and

1384
00:42:36,060 --> 00:42:40,140
what what what would you do if

1385
00:42:38,660 --> 00:42:41,840
you're in my position? Well,

1386
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:43,340
the the first one, first thing

1387
00:42:41,900 --> 00:42:44,880
that I was reminded of was the

1388
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:45,900
late Charlie Munger says like

1389
00:42:44,940 --> 00:42:47,480
the secret to happiness and

1390
00:42:45,980 --> 00:42:48,840
life is to have low

1391
00:42:47,540 --> 00:42:49,820
expectations. So, it's not no

1392
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:52,780
expectations but actually low

1393
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:53,980
expectations. That that was

1394
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:55,480
prompted. The second thing that

1395
00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:57,260
came to mind for me is that not

1396
00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:58,780
only do we make assumptions

1397
00:42:57,320 --> 00:43:00,660
instinctually but we actually

1398
00:43:00,660 --> 00:43:04,660
assume some sort of instinctual

1399
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:05,720
wiring. Um I was listening to a

1400
00:43:04,720 --> 00:43:09,000
podcast a few weeks ago and it

1401
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:11,660
was like we are predisposed to

1402
00:43:09,060 --> 00:43:13,160
assume negative because we

1403
00:43:11,740 --> 00:43:15,140
assume for safety, right? So,

1404
00:43:13,240 --> 00:43:18,500
if we see this like giant long

1405
00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:20,180
thing on the floor, our our

1406
00:43:18,580 --> 00:43:23,580
initial assumption is snake,

1407
00:43:20,240 --> 00:43:25,140
right? Yeah. And so, we react

1408
00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:27,280
but and then it might just be

1409
00:43:25,220 --> 00:43:29,580
like a robe cord or whatever it

1410
00:43:29,580 --> 00:43:34,260
is. If it's actually a snake,

1411
00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:35,820
then like we're in danger. So,

1412
00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:37,720
we're we're always better off

1413
00:43:35,900 --> 00:43:39,500
like assuming the the negative.

1414
00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:41,060
So, we're safer than if we

1415
00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:42,860
assume the positive and then it

1416
00:43:41,140 --> 00:43:44,800
winds up being the opposite.

1417
00:43:42,940 --> 00:43:48,000
So, I just thought that was

1418
00:43:44,860 --> 00:43:49,580
really different. Um as far as

1419
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:50,840
the the box goes, I'm not going

1420
00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:52,540
to make the same mistake I made

1421
00:43:50,900 --> 00:43:54,780
twice. I would say, why is it

1422
00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:56,780
that you haven't found the box,

1423
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:58,280
the proverbial box to get out

1424
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:02,320
of the box? I don't want to. So,

1425
00:43:59,860 --> 00:44:03,820
I mean, that's the like, that's

1426
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:04,720
the thing is is, you know,

1427
00:44:03,900 --> 00:44:05,800
people say, think outside of

1428
00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:07,160
the box. I always play with

1429
00:44:05,860 --> 00:44:07,960
them like, I, why didn't we

1430
00:44:07,220 --> 00:44:08,760
found the box? So, I don't have

1431
00:44:08,040 --> 00:44:10,360
to think outside of it. I'm

1432
00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:14,200
already outside of it but yeah,

1433
00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:15,400
it's it's more of the like

1434
00:44:14,260 --> 00:44:16,700
resistance of like, no, like,

1435
00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:19,700
please don't put me in that

1436
00:44:16,780 --> 00:44:21,680
box. That's is it because you

1437
00:44:19,780 --> 00:44:24,540
feel like you're conforming

1438
00:44:21,740 --> 00:44:28,080
when you're jumping into this

1439
00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:32,640
box. What do you think? It's a

1440
00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:34,080
good question. Um so, maybe, I

1441
00:44:32,720 --> 00:44:35,620
think some of you serial

1442
00:44:34,140 --> 00:44:37,020
entrepreneurs out there may deal

1443
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:37,580
with this or you know, the

1444
00:44:37,080 --> 00:44:39,280
entrepreneurs that have

1445
00:44:37,660 --> 00:44:40,680
multiple ventures. Um you know,

1446
00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:42,320
it's like, when people say,

1447
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:44,820
what do you do? And I'm like,

1448
00:44:42,380 --> 00:44:45,920
well, I I help people. Um you

1449
00:44:44,900 --> 00:44:47,100
know, no matter what, it could

1450
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:48,100
be opportunity. I said that

1451
00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:49,520
I hope for Latinos and Spanish.

1452
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:50,460
You know, it could be first

1453
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:52,060
class business. It could be the

1454
00:44:50,540 --> 00:44:53,560
host of Vision Pros live. Uh

1455
00:44:52,140 --> 00:44:55,240
could be the founder of

1456
00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:56,940
PassionPro.org. Um you know,

1457
00:44:56,940 --> 00:45:00,720
there's a lot of things that

1458
00:44:58,680 --> 00:45:02,880
exist there. So, a lot of times

1459
00:45:00,780 --> 00:45:04,960
when people are asking me, for

1460
00:45:02,940 --> 00:45:06,280
instance, as a podcast host,

1461
00:45:05,020 --> 00:45:09,460
well, what do you guys get out

1462
00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:10,460
of this? You know, I get to

1463
00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:11,280
meet some of the coolest

1464
00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:13,020
leaders in the world like

1465
00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:15,620
Karim Mabonaga first off. So,

1466
00:45:13,100 --> 00:45:17,200
there's that too. Um you know,

1467
00:45:15,700 --> 00:45:18,700
like certain people recognize

1468
00:45:17,260 --> 00:45:20,200
the value of what we do. They

1469
00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:21,940
wanna, they want us to build

1470
00:45:20,260 --> 00:45:24,040
systems like this for them. Um

1471
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:25,540
but it's kind of that like

1472
00:45:25,540 --> 00:45:29,520
the idea of, you know, well,

1473
00:45:27,140 --> 00:45:30,820
wait, so are you a coach or or

1474
00:45:29,580 --> 00:45:32,520
you know, is this what this is

1475
00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:34,620
about? And it's not knowing how

1476
00:45:32,580 --> 00:45:36,160
to answer that and you have to

1477
00:45:34,680 --> 00:45:37,760
deal with that with helping

1478
00:45:36,220 --> 00:45:39,660
children and principals and

1479
00:45:37,820 --> 00:45:41,320
schools and all that. So, how

1480
00:45:39,720 --> 00:45:43,460
do you say that? I can give you

1481
00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:45,260
the the label you. The infamous

1482
00:45:43,520 --> 00:45:46,900
distancing question, right? So,

1483
00:45:45,320 --> 00:45:48,200
if you were your own best

1484
00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:50,440
friend, how would they tell you

1485
00:45:48,260 --> 00:45:52,400
to answer that question? If you

1486
00:45:50,500 --> 00:45:53,740
were your own best friend, how

1487
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:55,340
would they tell you to answer

1488
00:45:55,340 --> 00:46:00,780
that question? I guess I don't

1489
00:45:56,940 --> 00:46:02,780
know. I think my best friend

1490
00:46:00,860 --> 00:46:04,620
makes fun of me for that too.

1491
00:46:02,860 --> 00:46:06,860
You know, it's like, well, he's

1492
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:08,360
like, what do you do? Well, if

1493
00:46:06,920 --> 00:46:09,860
you were your own best, your,

1494
00:46:08,420 --> 00:46:11,120
your best friend may not know

1495
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:12,100
what you do but if you were

1496
00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:14,660
your own man, I just help

1497
00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:16,340
people. Like, that's, that's it.

1498
00:46:14,740 --> 00:46:18,200
What's wrong with telling

1499
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:19,240
people that? But they don't

1500
00:46:18,260 --> 00:46:20,640
like it. They don't feel

1501
00:46:19,300 --> 00:46:21,680
comfortable with that, you

1502
00:46:20,700 --> 00:46:23,240
know. Right. So, why do you

1503
00:46:23,240 --> 00:46:27,080
feel uncomfortable? I feel

1504
00:46:24,840 --> 00:46:28,640
comfortable. I feel like I

1505
00:46:27,140 --> 00:46:30,140
shouldn't. I feel because I

1506
00:46:28,720 --> 00:46:31,040
want to help them. I think

1507
00:46:30,220 --> 00:46:33,120
that's really what it is. I

1508
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:35,280
want to help them and so, I

1509
00:46:33,180 --> 00:46:38,280
can't really, I, but I know not

1510
00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:40,120
to help people who aren't

1511
00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:41,620
comfortable. Hmm. So, maybe

1512
00:46:40,180 --> 00:46:43,800
what you do is help people who

1513
00:46:41,700 --> 00:46:45,300
want to be helped. Correct. I

1514
00:46:43,860 --> 00:46:47,900
do that. That's exactly right.

1515
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:49,260
So, yeah, how do you get out?

1516
00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:50,440
How do you get out of the

1517
00:46:49,340 --> 00:46:51,240
situation where somebody's

1518
00:46:50,500 --> 00:46:52,840
already proven though they're

1519
00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:55,280
not comfortable, you know, you

1520
00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:56,820
can't take more room for that.

1521
00:46:55,340 --> 00:46:58,320
It's not your target audience.

1522
00:46:56,880 --> 00:47:00,780
It doesn't sound like it. No,

1523
00:46:58,380 --> 00:47:02,220
yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I like

1524
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:03,820
that. You know, I don't know

1525
00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:05,860
for sure now but it's a it's a

1526
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:07,360
path that I need to continue

1527
00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:08,860
to play with and explore and

1528
00:47:07,420 --> 00:47:10,700
you're on the you're on the

1529
00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:12,120
100% the the vein that I want

1530
00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:13,300
to be on whether it's the

1531
00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:15,800
right vein or not. That's the

1532
00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:18,160
vein I want to be on is just

1533
00:47:15,860 --> 00:47:21,040
rather than allowing somebody

1534
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:26,900
to be in my comfort zone. Owning

1535
00:47:24,040 --> 00:47:28,580
my comfort zone and and being

1536
00:47:26,980 --> 00:47:31,080
okay with the fact that some

1537
00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:32,640
people may disagree with what

1538
00:47:31,140 --> 00:47:34,240
that's supposed to look like

1539
00:47:32,720 --> 00:47:36,980
but I guess I'll go back to the

1540
00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:38,920
rocks. Statement on that. Some

1541
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:42,060
people don't like me and some

1542
00:47:38,980 --> 00:47:44,060
people don't have good taste.

1543
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:46,060
I mean, I I I said, I said this

1544
00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:48,160
internally in my company too

1545
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:49,700
but I didn't start what I was

1546
00:47:48,220 --> 00:47:50,900
doing in education to help

1547
00:47:50,900 --> 00:47:54,040
people. Like, that's just not

1548
00:47:52,100 --> 00:47:55,080
what I'm about. I'm out there.

1549
00:47:54,100 --> 00:47:56,280
I want to help the people who

1550
00:47:55,140 --> 00:47:58,080
want to be successful. I want

1551
00:47:56,340 --> 00:47:59,480
to make sure that that child

1552
00:47:58,140 --> 00:48:01,020
who grew up in a low income

1553
00:47:59,540 --> 00:48:02,320
household who wants a better

1554
00:48:01,080 --> 00:48:05,020
life for themselves and for

1555
00:48:02,380 --> 00:48:05,980
their families has every

1556
00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:07,360
opportunity that they need to

1557
00:48:06,060 --> 00:48:09,820
be able to realize their

1558
00:48:07,420 --> 00:48:10,620
potential. Like I that whole

1559
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:12,020
like you can bring a horse to

1560
00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:13,460
water but you can't force it to

1561
00:48:12,100 --> 00:48:14,420
drink. Like, I'm not interested

1562
00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:15,900
in bringing the horse to the

1563
00:48:14,500 --> 00:48:17,300
water that's not thirsty. I

1564
00:48:15,960 --> 00:48:18,100
want to make sure that the

1565
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:19,340
horses that are out the well

1566
00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:20,860
have enough water to be able to

1567
00:48:20,860 --> 00:48:25,800
drink. I mean, that I love that

1568
00:48:22,460 --> 00:48:26,460
same line. Yeah, you're the

1569
00:48:25,860 --> 00:48:29,200
world would be very different

1570
00:48:26,540 --> 00:48:30,900
if everyone wanted a certain

1571
00:48:29,260 --> 00:48:32,300
level of success and put in the

1572
00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:33,800
effort and the work to achieve

1573
00:48:32,380 --> 00:48:34,800
it but the the truth of the

1574
00:48:33,880 --> 00:48:35,800
matter is that there are so

1575
00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:36,880
many people out there who are

1576
00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:38,340
desiring for better but they

1577
00:48:36,940 --> 00:48:39,520
don't have the resources. They

1578
00:48:38,420 --> 00:48:40,540
don't have the knowledge. They

1579
00:48:39,580 --> 00:48:41,820
don't have the support. They

1580
00:48:40,620 --> 00:48:43,820
don't have the school system

1581
00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:45,180
and so just inevitably, they

1582
00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:47,780
wind up not realizing their

1583
00:48:45,260 --> 00:48:49,660
god-given potential. Yeah, man,

1584
00:48:49,660 --> 00:48:52,860
I'm not sure if I'm going to

1585
00:48:51,660 --> 00:48:54,460
say this but there was elements

1586
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:56,000
of this show everybody where I

1587
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:57,400
was uncomfortable like, oh,

1588
00:48:56,060 --> 00:48:58,600
man, I'm learning things that

1589
00:48:57,460 --> 00:48:59,560
are outside my comfort and this

1590
00:48:58,660 --> 00:49:01,100
is great. There's elements of

1591
00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:02,700
the show where, you know, it

1592
00:49:01,160 --> 00:49:05,400
just aligns so well with what I

1593
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:06,640
perceive as freedom and

1594
00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:08,500
success in this life. So, I

1595
00:49:06,700 --> 00:49:10,180
hope you guys get as much out

1596
00:49:08,580 --> 00:49:11,640
of this uh out of this

1597
00:49:10,240 --> 00:49:13,340
conversation as I have. We're

1598
00:49:11,700 --> 00:49:14,580
going to have action steps uh

1599
00:49:13,420 --> 00:49:15,580
below the episode again that

1600
00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:17,080
way you guys can connect with

1601
00:49:15,640 --> 00:49:18,580
Karim on what he's doing. You

1602
00:49:18,580 --> 00:49:21,700
know, he's been out for two

1603
00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:23,120
years out there. Uh that that's

1604
00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:24,220
about that's what vision's all

1605
00:49:23,200 --> 00:49:25,800
about. It's not necessarily

1606
00:49:24,300 --> 00:49:27,060
something that is here that

1607
00:49:25,860 --> 00:49:27,860
we're looking at in the present

1608
00:49:27,140 --> 00:49:28,760
or the past but it could be

1609
00:49:27,940 --> 00:49:29,700
since it's come out in the

1610
00:49:28,840 --> 00:49:30,700
future. He already has two

1611
00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:31,660
books. He's already got a

1612
00:49:30,760 --> 00:49:32,500
TED Talk. He's already got lots

1613
00:49:31,740 --> 00:49:34,180
of things that he's done to

1614
00:49:32,560 --> 00:49:36,280
help out. So, if you if you

1615
00:49:34,240 --> 00:49:38,180
felt the vibe, right? If you

1616
00:49:36,340 --> 00:49:39,580
felt connected to this, my hope

1617
00:49:38,240 --> 00:49:40,740
is that you dive deeper into

1618
00:49:39,640 --> 00:49:42,580
seeing what Karim's up to

1619
00:49:40,820 --> 00:49:44,520
because maybe that vibe is a

1620
00:49:42,640 --> 00:49:46,320
calling to connect in some way

1621
00:49:44,580 --> 00:49:47,780
um and serve with Karim and

1622
00:49:47,780 --> 00:49:50,280
Karim. So, we're going to be

1623
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:51,320
here today, man. We're going to

1624
00:49:50,360 --> 00:49:52,220
wrap this up. Any final

1625
00:49:51,380 --> 00:49:54,220
thoughts you want to share

1626
00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:56,720
before I cut it off? Oh, man.

1627
00:49:54,300 --> 00:49:58,220
Just a gratitude for having me

1628
00:49:56,800 --> 00:49:59,800
back on here and I just think

1629
00:49:58,300 --> 00:50:01,200
having an opportunity to help

1630
00:49:59,860 --> 00:50:02,660
people like learn. I think

1631
00:50:01,260 --> 00:50:04,540
that's at the core of it, right?

1632
00:50:02,740 --> 00:50:06,100
As as we're growing, everything

1633
00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:07,740
around us grows but if we're

1634
00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:09,400
not growing, nothing grows and

1635
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:10,740
so it it all really does start

1636
00:50:09,480 --> 00:50:13,240
with us as the individual and I

1637
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:14,580
think Gandhi, you know, is be

1638
00:50:13,300 --> 00:50:15,740
the change you wish to see in

1639
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:16,940
the world, right? That just is

1640
00:50:16,940 --> 00:50:20,000
the hope for that. This, you

1641
00:50:18,140 --> 00:50:21,900
created this space for that. I

1642
00:50:20,060 --> 00:50:22,940
love that. That can sound

1643
00:50:21,980 --> 00:50:24,940
overwhelming to some of you. My

1644
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:26,380
hope is that you turn that

1645
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:27,940
overwhelm into realizing it's

1646
00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:30,040
not something you have to do.

1647
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,940
It's an opportunity for you and

1648
00:50:30,120 --> 00:50:31,940
let's make the most of this

1649
00:50:31,020 --> 00:50:32,940
life. Everybody, we'll see on

1650
00:50:32,020 --> 00:50:34,020
the next episode. Thank you for

1651
00:50:33,020 --> 00:50:35,120
being here today. I'm really

1652
00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:36,780
happy that you tuned in to

1653
00:50:35,180 --> 00:50:38,380
Vision Pros Live. I'm looking

1654
00:50:36,860 --> 00:50:39,920
forward to seeing your

1655
00:50:38,460 --> 00:50:41,360
reactions as these episodes

1656
00:50:39,980 --> 00:50:42,860
continue to move forward. This

1657
00:50:41,420 --> 00:50:43,700
is going to get more and more

1658
00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:44,960
fun. We'll have more and more

1659
00:50:43,760 --> 00:50:46,060
engagement as well. We'll

1660
00:50:46,060 --> 00:50:48,300
have a fantastic discussion.