there's always new things going on for people like us, right? There's like
a lot of opportunities and things. So I think we met what two, three weeks ago
maybe. Maybe even a little bit longer. Maybe. It feels I've been thinking about
this a lot to be honest with you. So the bromance is strong there but what's new?
What's in the what's happening last three, four weeks and what's on the
horizon? Yeah honestly just just finished a big transition so moved down here to
Orlando, Florida from Canada and you know just made a lot of sense. My fiance
was coming down here so you know just just starting to build a life down here.
I've got a lot of clients down here in Florida and in the United States and so
I'm just excited to kind of delve in and see what the future kind of holds but on
a personal level I'm also just looking forward to kind of explore some new
opportunities maybe even on the speaking level. It's something that I did for a
long time. You and I talked about you know in a religious context but now
maybe potentially getting out there on a business level and helping you know
serve some people and inspire some people with that is uh it gets me pretty
excited. Yeah that's awesome. We're gonna dive into three resources on that note
so and it can be on the religious side, it can be on the vision side, it can be
business side. What are three resources that you recommend for visionaries and
leaders that are out there? Yeah so Simon Sinek's Start with Why is just such a
great book and listen I promise my three resources are not anything new or
anything special but they're just so foundational. I say they're special. You
can't tell me that this book isn't special when it's on my shelf twice.
Come on, twice? That's right dude. It's funny with all three of these resources I feel like I've given
away copies because they're just that important. So Start with Why was really
really important to me. It's been really really important on my journey trying to
help people understand. I mean I had to realize it firsthand that you know
starting with a why is going to always be better and more convicting than
starting with just a goal and so you know identifying and getting to the
heartbeat of what that looks like. That's a great one. Principles by Ray Dalio is
fantastic. Now it's interesting because you know principles is not it's a great
read but it's not necessarily an easy read and I was actually talking to a
good friend who also just happens to be a client and they the other day pulled
up I guess they were in an airport and they found a kids version of principles.
They've actually made like a with pictures it's simplified for kids and I
just thought that was really cool but principles is interesting because unlike
the first one which I think everyone should go down you know principles
you're gonna read it and you may not even agree with everything but it's
challenging and I love that it kind of brings you down this space right where
you know Ray Dalio basis says this is the way you know this is what I think this
is the way that I've learned to see the world and it's direct but you may not
feel that way but it challenges you to think and I think that as leaders as
visionaries you know people that are excited about vision we should be
thinking and we should be constantly going down the road of okay does this
make sense does this work right how can I make this better is this is this
fulfilling does this reach enough people is it to me set you know all the good
stuff great question all important yeah and I would say that the last one that
I've really been leaning into I had read years ago John Maxwell seven levels of
leadership and you know Jackson I don't know if you've had this experience but I
think my whole life I've grown around grown up around people in different
spheres of life who identify as leaders and leaders and leadership is such a
great but vague term and getting people to see and just understand right I'm not
here to pontificate leadership at all but to get people to live in the reality
of okay this is the kind of leader I am this is where I sit in the paradigm if I
want to do great or greater things I may need to be open in ascending down that
path what does it look like to move from transactional leadership to
relational leadership for example right and so anyways I would say those three
for me have been game changers on a personal level that really shaped
building business and is really helping me now with a lot of my clients
absolutely why I'm definitely I'll double down with you on leadership aspect we I
grew up in a very very great society I'm in our education system too and I was
put into a lot of leadership roles and I'm grateful for that what I say next
can sound like they failed me and they didn't but I was an awful leader I was
just really talented and gifted and it took me a long time and a lot of
reconditioning reconditioning reconditioning for me to finally realize
like man you really suck at this leadership thing you know like you really
don't care enough about the people that you serve you really don't show up the
way that you can you really don't you're so worried about being better than
others that you're not working on being you're just your best self and being
authentic about it so there was so many things that took me geez like 28 years I
think to finally figure out and learn and be like wow okay everything I've
been given and done yeah it put me in leadership positions but I wasn't really
stepping in that the right way and I do think that a lot of society a lot of
society never even gets that chance right so where are they going to learn
it if they don't just have that inherent leadership nature but there are a lot of
us that I think you know like I'm so grateful that people believed I could
learn it hmm because I I've seen the transformation of my relationships over
the last eight years so yeah I love that you know just quickly I'm actually
working in an organization and they're an incredible organization but it's
really interesting because you know as I was starting to ask questions at the
different levels of leadership you know a lot of people were like hey you know
the person who's our leader we don't know if they're a great CEO and you know
that they had some valid reasons whatever and I posed the question even
though they had tremendous respect for this person I said I said has anyone
ever taught this person to be the CEO or they just operating position by default
that's right are they the leader by default because you all look up to them
and it's so funny the conversation shifted from I see all these
deficiencies to oh I actually I can actually maybe empathize that nobody has
taught this person to occupy that seat and what that level of leadership looks
like they just walked into a title and they've got their own challenges so yeah
super interesting I am writing that down because it's it's one thing to recognize
it it's one to be upset or fresher that's another to have that question
empathic question like you said the has anybody ever taught you to be a CEO
before you know and when you are able to address that in a way that is so warm it
can get people to put the guns down and I'm gonna be like you know yeah no I
haven't so well well done that's awesome we're gonna be right back we'll be
talking about three keys to unlocking your potential beyond greatness Matthew
and I are both big believers that you do have that within you so even if you're
in the position right now where you don't feel so great maybe this
conversation will change your life we'll be right back all right welcome in to
vision pros live with Jackson Calame I'm your show host we'll be doing interviews
for visionary entrepreneurs and guest leaders who are building fantastic
visions out there hey what's up everybody welcome into another episode
of vision pros live I'm your show host Jackson Calame founder and CEO first
class business I am super stoked to have Matthew Sanjari on stage today there is
just something incredibly special about this man his authenticity the way he
shows up yes there's really cool things that he's done too but the his ability
to just dive intentionally into what's profound what's principle driven that's
the type of leader that I just I love to learn from their fountain of knowledge
and see like where's this gonna go where's this relationship gonna go thanks
five ten fifteen years and and how do I keep people like this close to me so be
ready for an awesome episode before we bring Matthew on stage we're gonna talk
a little bit about the resources that have helped us so much along the way or
that we want we know that can be very helpful for you too so that we found and
wish we had earlier one beginning with Melissa Gray in the Lost Spot she came
on to our show and I was so close to canceling the episode like literally the
day of I almost just canceled it because most lawyers are super pretentious I
just didn't want to go through that and so I said you know what I gotta show up
I'm the host I gotta make this happen I'm not gonna make an excuse make a sim
sick I'm just gonna show up so I showed up and I found the most nurturing lawyer
that I've ever met who also understands what it means to do the hard work to
need to show up and and be deliberate direct and of course know their stuff in
terms of law well why is that important I went through a $20,000 lawsuit for my
own brand name when I was with restaurant connect you know we were
literally protecting a brand we already owned we won but did we we spent $20,000
I probably should have done more due diligence on the front end of figuring
out who our legal counsel was and how to find somebody that really cared about
our success not somebody really cared about how well we could pay our
retainers my hope is that you do the same look into Melissa's company look
into other firms protect yourself before you need it and you might find yourself
working with somebody who actually cares about your long-term growth and
contributes to that as well especially if you work with somebody like the Lost
Spot then there's Andrew Sosin of Recovery Unplugged Recovery Unplugged
also came on to our show and I was just so impressed with his leadership as I
dove deeper and deeper realize wow he's got 400 employees my goodness some of
his executives have been through this recovery program from pretty serious
addictions his power to help and their power to help take people and transform
them not just from you know people who might be considered lesser than in
society but to empower them to move forward to have families and to have
stability and to be of executive capacity that's super rare so why am I
bringing this up you all know somebody who's dealing with addictions and you
probably know who that person is rather than hitting that head-on my my hope is
that you call the hotline take 15 minutes out of your day to get some
advice find out what you can do to help that person inspire that person to seek
help because a lot of those people don't know how to seek help on their own and
really that's the purpose of the show is to help you to help others spread the
words a lot of people to help speaking of the water project the water project I
will never forget to talk about I will always end up cause that's greater than
our own needs I've never been without water before but there's millions of
people on this earth who do not have access to it they actually have to go
and look for it these kids in Africa there are millions of them who don't have
access to clean drinking water they have to walk three to five miles just to find
a source imagine how thirsty you would get on a walk like that what you would
want and here they are bringing it back to their school or their parents are
having to skip work and provide for their families at full capacity you know
meanwhile I get to rock the mic for a podcast so what do I use that for to
help showcase these kids celebrate water like my kids celebrate Christmas Day and
we have the ability to choose which community we want to support when we do
that the water project does an excellent job of showcasing for us exactly what
happened with our investment and you get to see the generational impact that you
were making as those people have access to water near their home it is an amazing
opportunity to help out as there's 8 billion people in this world that really
need a lot of help we can do more so my hope is if you know of another project
that's more near and dear to your heart instead of feeling like it's a
competition be like well I like this instead say I like this instead can you
guys contribute you never know I might contribute directly to it some of our
guests might the ripple effect of doing goods amazing so please drop in the
comments what causes are important to you and we'll do our best to go about
doing our part with that without further ado Matthew Sanjari it's my honor to
have you on the show welcome to vision pros live let me click the right button
to Jackson thanks for having me man I said it me too man all right diving right
in what is the vision that you have for those that you serve oh man that's a
great question what is the vision I have for those I serve honestly if I were to
lay it out really clearly I would say you know it maybe sounds a little cliche
but I would say that the vision I have for the people that I serve is I want
people to live to their fullest potential and I don't mean that in a vague
sense of you know achieving goals or targets I want the people that I serve
to feel like I was the greatest support for them and I was able like a cloth you
can picture a cloth with like I was able to help that ring out every last drop
potential in their lives you know whether that's their desire to grow in
generosity whether that's just their desire to grow as a leader you know
whether that's their desire to optimize their lives and become more holistic
just in life I I've really developed this passion that you know I'm seeing
work out my business where I'm not the expert and I don't pretend to be you're
the expert that's why I partner with you as a coach or as a consultant and where
I come in is then how can I help serve you how can I help find your blind
spots how can I help you the biggest cheerleader for those areas where maybe
you feel stuck infused glazed over in the moment and so if I can help people
entrepreneurs business owners high-level leaders high performers unlock that
cheat code that they already have inside of them you know so many people think
oh I've got to go do something and I've got to take this course and maybe you do
or or maybe you actually have greatness inside of you and you actually just need
someone to walk alongside you and see it worked out that doesn't have that
proximity that can sometimes hinder that and so yeah I would say that that's the
vision I have for the people in my life and the people that I serve that's huge
I love the analogy the analogy of wringing out the cloth all right getting
every every drop out I have to go irreverent with that because it reminded
me of Shanghai noon old movie with Jackie Chan and Wilson why didn't you just say
that that movie is my opinion it's classic but yeah that ringing out
process getting everything that you can out of out of life in the best of ways
you know you've you've managed to take something that would typically be
isolated to the hustle and the grind culture and you've turned into
something beautiful I love that what's your vision for you yeah I think along
those lines but I can see that I know you're gonna ring out every potential
that you can as you do what does that look like for you yeah I think for me
that's been connected my vision for myself is I want to find the purpose in
the pain and to really quantify that you know I I'm the I'm the product of a
refugee and an immigrant so I'm a first generation I've you know experienced
that some some crazy things in life had a traumatic car accident that almost
ended my life and I've come to a place where I'm like man you know I've got
these gifts and talents I'm not gonna hide behind you know behind a rock and
pretend like I don't what I want to see is how can I serve people with those
experiences and how can I impact and influence and inspire people around
those and so for me you know I'm very open to what that looks like I'll give
you an example you know I've I've pastored for on and off for about 12
years random marketing business started a real estate developing company and now
I'm in my current iteration which is business coaching and I've come to
realize that all of that at the end of the day although great it was all just
window dressing I what I really was doing that was so fulfilling during all
these things is I was working closely and helping people become the best
versions of themselves without realizing until this iteration if I'm honest and
it took me you know to my mind or used to realize it that in helping others to
do that I actually was helping myself to do the same because it challenged me to
become the best version of me I don't want to lead people or take people
anywhere that I'm not willing to go or to any ask them to pay a price that I'm
not willing to pay and so my vision is to live the kind of life that's so
expansive and the kind of life that hopefully speaks volumes so that other
people don't just want to partner and potentially even follow along simply
because it's good words good content or a great podcast with Jackson it's because
people feel the magnetic pull of this person lives it they lead this way they
live it I've seen them overcome a car accident I've seen them overcome you
know being broke as a first generation you know for being honest you know and
navigate navigate some things albeit not so well all the time if I'm completely
transparent but but that's that's the kind of life I want I want to live the
kind of life until the kind of organizations and businesses charitable
non-charitable private public that are just so compelling for people to want to
join and to want to partner with and to want to have relationship with because
they're like yeah I don't know what's there I don't know what that secret sauce
is and maybe he can't even explain it but I want that hmm I love that I'm I'm
gonna double down on something real quick we're gonna derail a little bit
we're gonna go into a conversation about the 30s the 30s I'm gonna call it the
refiner's fire real quick so yeah you know exactly where I'm good track dude
well there's just there's so many things that happen to you at that point in life
where you know you're supposed to be in your prime right you have everything
figured out at that point you might have your you might be on your way with your
family you might have your careers hopefully taken off your body is at its
max capacity right there's there's and you know I think of that blink-182 song
what's my age again 23 you know he's getting his butt kicked by life all but
it's just started brother you don't even know oh wait wait anymore you're getting
your butt kicked at 23 the the real butt kick it's coming for most of us so
there's what else is it what else is it about that phase of life that just that
can feel so hard for for someone maybe I'm wrong but did you feel like I mean I
got my butt kicked in my early 30s oh listen I feel like I'm still getting my
butt kicked right feels like it feels better now it's like okay so I don't
know if I have an answer for this but from personal experience I think one of
the things that my 30s has done is my 30s have been the great reveal for me
yeah right this you know in my 20s and even in my teens you know it's not to
say that you know I'm not a glass half full optimistic full of life kind of guy
I still am but my 30s have taught me to live in reality and not so much in
fantasy land you know as I've partnered up I'm about to get married you know as
I've really settled into my circles yeah she's incredible honestly I believe
that thank you and yeah just just I find my 30s are just such a great revealer
and I don't know you know if I if all these of a lot of these things have been
revealed in my 20s I would have probably ran the other I wasn't ready to put in
the work didn't have the commitment level I used to hear this quote that I
loved and I really try and live by it was passion starts a thing but
commitment sees it through and I feel like my 20s for my passions and my 30s
in my commitment I love it I love that you used a different word than I did to
that really helped solidify that too I want to own the fact that you talked
about how like we're still in it right I don't mean to say I've arrived by any
but I think one of the the great reveal that is such a is that a coined term
because he I hope it gets coined by you now because the 30s are the great reveal
I think a lot of what happens our family our friends ourselves like we've set
ourselves up to be something and now people are like a little bit less
patient like okay you keep saying you're going to do that you keep saying you're
going to make this happen you know you keep saying that you know and then
you're also kind of you you stop posing a lot you know you start to realize like
man maybe I just need to accept where I'm at use the self-awareness really
turns up a whole a whole new level at least we have the opportunity to so any
of you 30 year olds are going through that right now just take a look at
Matthew where he's going what he's up to what he's accomplished where he's you
know and know that you have more value within you than you probably give
yourself credit for unless you're narcissistic you know the way you go
the opposite direction but we're gonna leave that right where it's at so with
that said let's dive into the the most difficult the darkest section of this
conversation maybe it goes hand-in-hand what's the worst leadership experience
that you've ever had oh man the worst leadership experience I've ever had is
self-induced for sure so so I was pastoring and I was leading our creative
teams right so I'm talking like so I'm partially creative I'm that balance of
creative and analytical but I was building you know a team and leading a
team of people who at their best are brilliant and at their worst or
unfocused you can't have changes of arrogance there's a lot of people in
management when it comes to that and you know one of the things that I one of the
viable lessons that I didn't latch on to very quickly was that expedience is not
your friend in leadership and you know we got to this this point you know where
the church was growing very quickly you know my team at this point you know I'm
leading I'm personally responsible for 60 to 70 people you know it's not a
small you know we're starting to have you know sort of break off into groups
because it's it's not manageable for me to lead 60 or 70 people on a one-on-one
level and I honestly I started to buckle under the pressure I started to buckle
under the pressure of the goals and kind of the overall vision and I started to
basically I led with this urgency that wasn't healthy where I basically put
everything on myself and said I need to make this happen and it was painful and
it was painful not just for me in hindsight but honestly it actually hurt
quite a few people it meant me putting met me promoting people ahead of where
they should have been it meant me forcing squares and around holes and it
really caused me to be to go down this road where I was so all consumed by the
goal that I actually missed the vision if that makes sense yeah I was so all
consumed by this target that I started to make some decisions that honestly you
know left people hurting left people frustrated and you know I had to go on a
bit of an apology to her when everything was said and done and rightfully so but
it was one of those things that I had to learn from it mean experience is not
your friend it very interesting the story on that I got to back you up on
this you talked about losing sight of the vision and route to the goal right
that is a very literal and real thing I hit it the other night embarrassingly I
fell halfway down my stairs and here's why I turned the light off in my room
I'm in a new apartment like a new duplex rather and I'm going towards the light
switch and it's pitch black and I can't see but I know where that light switches
you know like there's no way I'm gonna and I hit the staircase and I was like
and so here my heart was so focused on that goal you know of hitting the light
switch knowing that I was just fine even though I couldn't see and yet there I go
following us and we do that as visionaries often you know it's a
little bit less literal but the same lesson can apply if we're really look at
where where are we losing sight of the day to day and or the next steps that
are critical to be able to actually fulfill that goal and not not fall on
stairs yeah and for again it feels like in so many situations you know if we're
talking you know if a few tasks drop here and there it's probably not life
altering but I think for me it's a sobering reminder that because people
hung in the balance on this one from a leadership perspective it was really
sobering and I think rightfully so because as leaders you know when we make
these decisions oftentimes it's so much more than ourselves and I think that
that was a that was a much needed lesson in an unfortunate manner well it came
early right these variables they don't always play out as fast as yours did you
know that would be far worse imagine you're 60 and those variables had
continued to kind of just fall into place to where you get and then you've
got the capital ten times more of the pain of of that failure and it's one
thing I love about these conversations with you it's obvious that you don't
you don't get addicted to that destination you know and you have kind
of a resistance from allowing me to even pull you that way with some of the way
I've articulated this conversation so I love that the expedience is not your
friend as a leader that is oh my I'm gonna be using that more more often so
what's the best leadership experience that you've ever had okay so this is
one of my favorite stories so you know I mentioned earlier I ran a marketing
consulting firm for about ten years and my second ever client I should have
never landed this client I honestly had no idea what I was doing in the
beginning from up from a marketing perspective you you mean you actually
were a marketer and yeah I was like most marketing guys and girls never mind
keep going listen it was a hard road with some hard lessons but that second
client that ever landing ended up being my best client stuck with me to the
bitter end and the client actually opted out of when I exited my agency they're
like hey I don't want to be sold you know I had a great we had a great time
great relationship and I remember being so upset I was like dude I went to the
bathroom we had some hard parts we had some great we had a relational time
outside of and so we're being really frustrated and you know some time went
by a few months went by and I was kind of sitting around wondering what's my
next move you know as an entrepreneur I can't just be sitting on my hands I feel
like I need to be a contributing member of society right and he'd been trying
to get a hold of me I had been dodging his calls emails so if he's watching
that wasn't you just kidding but I finally you know some push from my now
fiance I called him back and he basically went on the spiel and he said
hey look I could have hired any marketer it wasn't your marketing is the reason
why I stuck with you I loved how you treated us I loved the analytical side
where you were so thorough where you always were honest with us it was never
enough so you you tell us hey I wouldn't spend that money if I were you I would
go down this road and so because of that trust I actually want you to do what you
did for our marketing in every area of our business I want you to go through
sales I want you to go through marketing when you go through the admin the
finance and I want you to help teach and coach and lead our teams and honestly to
this day it's why I started the business coaching and consulting he's the reason
why I I would if you know Jackson V coming to me and said hey you should do
this I've been like to be honest I'm probably not qualified I'm not gonna
live under any illusion that I am right for him to come back you know our our
relationship started in 2013 you know for him to come back that was ten years
later and say it was the way that you've treated me over the last decade I want
to do business with you in whatever and do endeavor you're doing next that to me
you know how I led in those moments even when it didn't line my pocketbook even
when it was really hard it just reminded me of you know it's really easy and I've
been there it's really easy to lead in these glorious moments where you know
it's like stakes and the lights are on and you know you're on a podcast or a
TV or you know on a TV screen it's not easy to stay consistent and lead in those
private moments when no one's looking absolutely you still when you treat the
administrative assistant with the same level of kindness you treated the
business on that and so to hear that if I'm being honest it actually brought me
to tears and it's been a catalyst as to why I started this new iteration of the
business and I haven't looked back since it's huge it's a it's a big well done on
the business owner side for recognizing that having the the wherewithal to also
find you again you know and to make sure that that was so many people would have
a fear associated with that a doubt well maybe he's not available maybe he
doesn't want to you know maybe he's avoiding me you know and that
persistence that existed there by that leader and then to give you the keys of
stewardship you know to say you know hey let's do this you him recognizing that
you're the type of person who wasn't going to come in and domineer it and
control and say I know everything you know him knowing how to tee that up too
like there's so many aspects of that takes two to tango reality of that
leadership experience that we can learn from as as visionary leaders in our own
lives those you were listening to I I've also learned recently and this is
actually fair like within the last couple of weeks somebody was talking
about how people don't buy people buy if it's going to improve that make their
life better right and and that reality is like man entrepreneurship is one of
those hard things in growth where it's like now sometimes you can't feel your
life getting better right sometimes you're going through the thick of it it
doesn't feel like an improvement but there's a difference between making
somebody's life feel better and actually making somebody's life better and
there's still an important balance on that too though because if you ignore the
feelings that can push somebody away but if you only focus on the feelings then
you might not build the tangible realities of what's necessary and you
guys both seem to get that as you you're moving into that relationship in ways
that I don't see businesses doing so how you know when you knew you didn't
necessarily have the capacity for all departments and he saw the value in and
having you do that what did the execution of that kind of look like how
did you guys get on the same page of like cool this this because this is
almost exactly what we do at first-class business as well but it's hard to
explain that to people and help people realize that no we're not gonna put
boxes on people and say stay in this box how did you guys figure that out yeah
and you know it's funny you said a word earlier that I think is the framework
that I try to operate from and it's this idea I've been entrusted you know what
whether it was in marketing whether it was as a real estate development company
now as business coach it's like when people come on as a client they're
actually entrusting me with their baby they're entrusting me with their people
they're entrusting with their product or service and so I think that's what you
know that client was giving language to you it's like I can trust you something
you've done well with it let's give you some more and so the framework for me
has always been and I know it's hard because oftentimes you know when we need
help we outsource or we hide right but I want to shed that illusion for myself
anyways that I'm not the expert right what I am is I'm a great accountability
and I'm gonna lead I'm gonna step in and fill the gap and bring other people with
me and so I think that framework was so helpful because because that's how he
introduced me he introduced me as Matt is going to be our greatest advocate he
is going to be here working alongside you in the trenches and and it's funny
because even though I had that relationship for ten years and I had I
was in his good graces you know he loved me and I love working with him I never
built currency with esteem for at least on the rest of the team right so while
that relationship had such longevity I was starting anew with the rest of the
team and I actually had to come to terms with okay we've got an existing
relationship and that's amazing but my framework also has to change because I've
got to be some relationship buildings I've got to go back to ground zero with a
lot of this team and do all the things build relationship you know ask about
people's day actually care about them and show them that I care about them and
here we are a year and a half later you know just there's this idea that I like
to operate with from a leadership paradigm it's you know it's the bank
account you know if you're gonna make withdrawals you better make sure that
you have more than enough deposits that's huge you've been in this
creating currency with the team and Taylor oh man I forgot his last name
somehow yeah Evans and Welch Taylor Welch there it is he talks about
relationship equity and building that with people and the value of doing so
and it's the same concept and it's so valuable and I think I worry that people
will miss what you said which was it's it oftentimes starts the best starting
point the easiest starting point is when the leader does that right when the
leader builds that relationship and says hey we're working with a new agent
see you know I'm not or team you know we're evaluating this new agency want to
bring them in you know let's do this together what pros and cons do you see
right have that relationship first then bring the agency in knowing that
everybody's on the same page but also bring them in and tee that up for extra
success by saying hey we're super excited to have you guys here this is
John this is Betty you know John and Betty already excited to support how
they can if you ever need anything from great and letting John and Betty know
like and he they're here to do this this and this and we're here to support and
make that happen right we just I don't see that happening in small businesses
and you know it's it's fun when it does happen because then everybody's ready to
go as a unified harmonic team feel free to challenge that or add to it no I know
I love it and I think that it's that positioning that's so helpful right like
and it's true because this isn't just true in business this is true in life
right like you know it's funny I these are things that I take for granted
because I'm an extrovert I love you got step siblings or stepkids you gotta do
the same thing yeah yeah I love people and you know so when I go out with a
group of friends that were melding friend groups to me it's natural for me
to go this is so-and-so they're the best person ever you guys need to get
together do tribal leadership a book nobody reads and if we all read it our
lives to be so much easier it talks about this it's called triad relationships
have you heard that term no I have you're living by it less than 2% of the
world lives by the standard of companies worldwide practice types of standards
that you're practicing they only get practice at what they call a fourth
level leadership but you it's the it's a secret to long-term success is building
these triad relationships where it's not based on two people it's based on three
people and doing exactly what you said as simple as it sounds it's not
practiced very often but it removes friction it removes a head-to-head
situation because you got three people who are involved in the relationship
with that point so it's it's brilliant that you've you found that on your own
it's very rare let's go into the most powerful lesson so if this was your last
chance to share word of wisdom powerful lesson with the world specifically
provisionaries and leaders what would the powerful lesson be oh man that's a
great question what would be if this feels like the what would your last meal
be that's exactly what it is that's exactly yeah you know what I want to
relate this back to what I said earlier that I felt like it's part of my vision
but I would encourage every visionary or every leader every owner every
high performer find purpose in your pain okay part of what I've experienced in my
20s and 30s is coming to this place where I've recognized whether in my life
or as an entrepreneur or as a leader there will be pain there will be
rejection that is a fact of life the sooner I get to understanding okay I'm
gonna feel this probably need to sit here a little bit they can take in that
experience but once that's over how can I use this to my advantage how can I
leverage this for the people in my life how can I leverage this for the vision
that I feel like I've been called to the sooner I can find purpose in my physical
pain emotional pain relationship pain the sooner I can learn from it and I
think that for me starting with living in that reality of okay there will be
pain there are gonna be moments where I'm gonna get rejected there are gonna
be moments that are not gonna go to my like there's been plenty of them and I
can either just sit there and just let those define me and just say oh yeah it
was a cool story great moment or I can go what was the lesson to extract from
this and can that help someone else you know I threw at this this this story
early on just like I mentioned a briefly you know I had this horrific car
accident 12 years hit two horses three inches from death almost took my life
and for five or six years I was a bitter depressed man I was no fun I would suck
the joy out of rooms and I it wasn't until I started to sit down with people
who would hear my story from other people and they would tell me hey I also
struggle with this hey I struggle with this secret illness I've never told
anyone I started realize oh there's power in my pain and instead of hiding
it and being afraid of the experiences and things and the rejections that we
don't want to see because social media doesn't glamorize those things right if
I lean into that and find the purpose in it that purpose will push me and propel
me and it's also probably gonna help a lot of people on the way and that's how
you know you build this relational currency it's how you you know really
start to grow in your leadership I think and it's been really helpful for me I
can't wait to get to these three keys but for those who are listening to us
right now the the reality is the three keys will be easy to come back to any
time there's new keys that keep popping up or I'm like man if we don't capture
this now we might miss it so you talked about being bitter and depressed and
dealing with that and you've obviously made a massive transformation because I
don't catch any of that in your demeanor and your attitude and the
conversations that we've had at this point I'm sure you have your your
difficult days what I'm getting at here though is there are people in your life
who are probably affected by where you ended up with the bitter and depression
and some of those people are probably in your life today I find it a challenge to
sometimes recover with those individuals to ever escape the reality of like man
that's kind of my my label with said people it can be very not so like Gary
Vaynerchuk says go find a new five you know go find people who you know will
support you and other people say you know careful with a circle of five but
sometimes we influence them in such a negative way with what we the whole we
dug for ourself have you found your ability to turn that around are there
any are there any principles or secrets to making that happen so the restoration
can be provided in a relationship that may not have been that bad it may have
just been our own state and our depression or our awareness what are your
thoughts on that yeah so I love this and I've actually learned this lesson from a
few people in my life my fiance and my father was so good at modeling this but I
think I've ever been in that position personally and I think one of the
reasons why and again osmosis I've learned this from people is repair starts
with me you know my father was a refugee he came to North America with the clothes
on his back and not much else and so much that story it's incredible but he
went through so much in his first four or five years overcoming language
barriers socioeconomic the whole bit I look back in his life and say man if
there was ever a guy who could throw a few complaints out and he could make
some excuses it'd be him and yet there was none of that what there was a lot of
personal personal responsibility taking ownership you know trying to learn and
so you know what watching my dad over the years who again it's not perfect and
you know has actually failed in business and different things one of the biggest
things I learned from him was you know repair starts if we take ownership you
can't control what happens on the other side you can't control the label that
they've ascribed to you rightfully or wrongfully you can't even control their
perception of you but you can control repair because you can start with it you
can go and you can say hey can we have a conversation I'd like to learn more
about your side I'd like to understand why there's some distance I want to know
why why something feels off or is that just me and see my dad lead and ask
questions and my fiance's been so good at this this concept of repair has
honestly done wonders for me because like in that worst leadership story I
told you I've hurt people I've definitely you know led people astray and I've gone
off the rails and while I can't change that I can control the repair and make
efforts into how to how to change that and it may never go back to what it was
or you may still have the scar on your arm from from the healing but that's
okay because you can still start to repair it's huge thank you for that
that's that's fantastic I get to use these sessions sometimes is like my own
therapy sessions and lessons in leadership and it's amazing so Matthew
let's dive in three keys time locking our potential beyond greatness well what
are these three keys about and you know what what else would you like to tell us
the show is yours for the next five minutes yeah I mean honestly if I were
to boil it down it's funny it's funny I have three keys and I feel like they're
always just constantly changing but because you know you just find something
else they're like oh man this really knocks this one down but I think the
three keys for me if I were to start be coachable that's that's the number one
and I don't just say that as a business coaches this is not a plug it's someone
asked me that I said you know who are your best clients are the people you
love to work with and I think it's an important club plug I'm gonna I'm gonna
hit it as a plug in and that dude like people one of my least favorite sayings
to hear out there is I already have a coach and I'm like you know me coaches
LeBron James has like you know me coaches amazing people out there have
like they got a ton of them right so if they can add you to like if you're an
addition not a subtraction to people's lives and why would they not reach out
to you and call you and talk to you sorry go ahead and derail I love it and
it's that idea it's like the other day there's people who are way way more
successful than any of us who still have coaches and I just really think that
comes from an attitude of I don't have it all figured out but I'd love to learn
if I can even just grow you know the other day I learned Phil Mickelson the
great golfer has a swing coach and when asked why he had a coach he basically
said you know if I can just improve by a quarter of a stroke every round and I
was like quarter stroke every round for people who don't you know watch golf
that's a stroke over four on that could be the difference between winning and
losing absolutely it seems so miniscule so be coachable right because that's
where so much of the learning comes in I'd say my second thing that I've
really learned on the business side and again this this sounds easier than it is
I'm sure is try and be unaffendable and what I really mean by that is look you're
you're gonna go through hardship you know we've already established that
you've probably gone through hardship but offense is actually something that
we choose to take on right you can be hurt that's how you feel and we need to
validate feelings and emotions but offense and anger and bitterness are the
things that lead to that compost that we have a choice in that and you know what
things I've learned in business is you know I've and in leadership you know I'll
have an interaction and someone who's wrong I don't there's any question if I
were to be objective about it someone has definitely dropped their end of the
bargain they've wronged me it's still my choice on how I respond to it and it's
still my choice as to whether I'm gonna pick up their baggage and go I'm gonna
carry this around and at the end of the day if I carry their baggage around in
leadership or business or my personal life it's actually less space in my
suitcase for what for what I should be carrying around right I love that the
things that I should be having and I would say my last thing so the
coaching sorry be coachable be unaffendable and the last thing I'd say
is always try and optimize okay and I don't mean you have to go down this
ridiculous road where you're like I'm gonna make everything super efficient
super effective but if you have a growth mindset which is probably the word that
most people would use why don't apply that to everything I don't just want to
be a growth mindset when it comes to business I want to be a growth mindset
in my relationships you know I just you know on a personal level my fiance and I
were actually in premarital counseling yeah people asked us they're like wait
why are you in counseling you aren't even married like you guys aren't
like I'm like I'd like to learn tools and skills before we get asked like one
of the best things we can do for relationships of any kind yeah right and
and you know whether it's finance or you know business all these things personal
relationships I just want to be someone who's a little bit obsessed because I am
with optimization right how can I get a little bit and I know that you're like
this right it's like and you know a growth mindset some people call it
whatever just be committed to how can I be a little bit better you're not gonna
always have the best days and always gonna have the best moments but how can I
just be a little bit better is really what I'm trying to say that's amazing
and I'm so impressed with you doing that on the fly and you weren't offended by
it and that's that's amazing so I'm gonna I'm gonna bring this up as a very
live true example of your leadership and I'm just gonna send my flowers your way
as I do this on purpose because I designed the title for this episode
without Matthew's permission based on the submission form that we had and he
did not articulate these had to be the three topics so we didn't even talk
about that to go into this we talked about the title but I didn't tell him
where I was going with it so he could be mad at me he could be offended you know
he could be like like you set me up for failure dude you know like why why did
you make that happen like there's so many reactions that could transpire that
maybe in the past with certain guests have you know maybe maybe not but you
didn't you know and so you came up with on the fly three extremely important
keys and the authenticity behind that shows that the depth of well that you
have in terms of being able to think on your feet find solutions to present
problems or reality of situations whatever whatever brand name we want to
apply to the opportunities in front of us and no you didn't you didn't talk
about automation delegation and elimination but you gave three
phenomenal keys and we all benefited from it and I think you chose three keys
that for I shouldn't say I think I know there's people who will hear this those
are the three keys they needed today right and we never know the variable it
doesn't mean it's the the fulcrum the keystone whatever aspect of what we're
building you know that there's a there's a Bible scripture on it you know like
the finger or the hand can't say to the eye you're not important and vice versa
every element is extremely valuable so thanks for breaking those down so well
on the fly put on the spot you like gave a TED talk that was cool thank you man
honestly it's it's felt like we're just talking in your living room and so it
just we need to in the future you're invited yeah we got to get you here in
New Braunfels would be awesome so those of you who are listening in we're gonna
put action steps in the landing page that way you can know exactly how it's
easiest to get in touch with Matthew what resources he has available for you
and we'll have a social media channels there so you can follow him if there's
any other requests you guys have that you want to comment on this with your
questions or your perspectives and what we've shared please do and if you know
somebody who would benefit from this show then of course subscribe share it
with people tell people about we're up to so we can help more and more people
and if you are a visionary leader yourself you got a vision it doesn't
have to be taking people to Mars with Elon Musk it can be something much more
simple than that if it's for helping people we want you on our show there's a
there's a button in the top right corner says be our guests click the button
apply to be in our show come share your vision with us and those that you're
serving tell us all about it so we can we can just continue to help people in
this world and in addition to that Matthew I love for you to just give us
one final thought well what do you want to end on today man you always got some
great wisdom so I'm gonna test that as far as I can
oh man I don't know that I have anything deep I just want to say though honestly
and this may not be going for but it's been honored to just be on the podcast
man thanks for having me it like it's just such a great conversation and I
feel like I've learned a lot just you and I feel so aligned but you find ways
to use different vernacular for the things I say and so if I just feel like
I can pull and learn from those things yeah it's just been a great experience
and so yeah everybody lean into this podcast a great podcast feelings mutual
my friend we look forward to seeing you guys in the next episode everybody have
a fantastic rest your day thank you for being here today I'm really happy that
you tuned in to vision pros live I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions
as these episodes continue to move forward is gonna get more and more fun
we'll have more and more engagement as well we'll invite people to participate in
the show and thank you for giving us your time and attention have an
excellent time building out your vision and become