1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,600 there's always new things going on for people like us, right? There's like 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:10,240 a lot of opportunities and things. So I think we met what two, three weeks ago 3 00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:16,320 maybe. Maybe even a little bit longer. Maybe. It feels I've been thinking about 4 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:19,960 this a lot to be honest with you. So the bromance is strong there but what's new? 5 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:24,120 What's in the what's happening last three, four weeks and what's on the 6 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:29,040 horizon? Yeah honestly just just finished a big transition so moved down here to 7 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:34,240 Orlando, Florida from Canada and you know just made a lot of sense. My fiance 8 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:38,440 was coming down here so you know just just starting to build a life down here. 9 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:42,200 I've got a lot of clients down here in Florida and in the United States and so 10 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:47,800 I'm just excited to kind of delve in and see what the future kind of holds but on 11 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:50,560 a personal level I'm also just looking forward to kind of explore some new 12 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:53,600 opportunities maybe even on the speaking level. It's something that I did for a 13 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:56,480 long time. You and I talked about you know in a religious context but now 14 00:00:56,480 --> 00:01:00,320 maybe potentially getting out there on a business level and helping you know 15 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:04,000 serve some people and inspire some people with that is uh it gets me pretty 16 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:10,560 excited. Yeah that's awesome. We're gonna dive into three resources on that note 17 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:14,480 so and it can be on the religious side, it can be on the vision side, it can be 18 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:18,520 business side. What are three resources that you recommend for visionaries and 19 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:25,480 leaders that are out there? Yeah so Simon Sinek's Start with Why is just such a 20 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:29,680 great book and listen I promise my three resources are not anything new or 21 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:33,600 anything special but they're just so foundational. I say they're special. You 22 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:37,080 can't tell me that this book isn't special when it's on my shelf twice. 23 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:44,920 Come on, twice? That's right dude. It's funny with all three of these resources I feel like I've given 24 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:50,280 away copies because they're just that important. So Start with Why was really 25 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:54,120 really important to me. It's been really really important on my journey trying to 26 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:58,480 help people understand. I mean I had to realize it firsthand that you know 27 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:04,280 starting with a why is going to always be better and more convicting than 28 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:07,840 starting with just a goal and so you know identifying and getting to the 29 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:13,720 heartbeat of what that looks like. That's a great one. Principles by Ray Dalio is 30 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:18,240 fantastic. Now it's interesting because you know principles is not it's a great 31 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:22,320 read but it's not necessarily an easy read and I was actually talking to a 32 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:27,280 good friend who also just happens to be a client and they the other day pulled 33 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:31,440 up I guess they were in an airport and they found a kids version of principles. 34 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:35,720 They've actually made like a with pictures it's simplified for kids and I 35 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:41,080 just thought that was really cool but principles is interesting because unlike 36 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:43,680 the first one which I think everyone should go down you know principles 37 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:47,840 you're gonna read it and you may not even agree with everything but it's 38 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:52,200 challenging and I love that it kind of brings you down this space right where 39 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:56,320 you know Ray Dalio basis says this is the way you know this is what I think this 40 00:02:56,320 --> 00:03:00,560 is the way that I've learned to see the world and it's direct but you may not 41 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:04,120 feel that way but it challenges you to think and I think that as leaders as 42 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:08,040 visionaries you know people that are excited about vision we should be 43 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:11,200 thinking and we should be constantly going down the road of okay does this 44 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:16,160 make sense does this work right how can I make this better is this is this 45 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:20,840 fulfilling does this reach enough people is it to me set you know all the good 46 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:27,280 stuff great question all important yeah and I would say that the last one that 47 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:31,760 I've really been leaning into I had read years ago John Maxwell seven levels of 48 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:36,400 leadership and you know Jackson I don't know if you've had this experience but I 49 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:40,360 think my whole life I've grown around grown up around people in different 50 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:46,000 spheres of life who identify as leaders and leaders and leadership is such a 51 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:52,560 great but vague term and getting people to see and just understand right I'm not 52 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:56,480 here to pontificate leadership at all but to get people to live in the reality 53 00:03:56,480 --> 00:04:02,840 of okay this is the kind of leader I am this is where I sit in the paradigm if I 54 00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:08,920 want to do great or greater things I may need to be open in ascending down that 55 00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:11,840 path what does it look like to move from transactional leadership to 56 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:17,720 relational leadership for example right and so anyways I would say those three 57 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:22,240 for me have been game changers on a personal level that really shaped 58 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:26,320 building business and is really helping me now with a lot of my clients 59 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:31,720 absolutely why I'm definitely I'll double down with you on leadership aspect we I 60 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:37,560 grew up in a very very great society I'm in our education system too and I was 61 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:41,360 put into a lot of leadership roles and I'm grateful for that what I say next 62 00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:45,840 can sound like they failed me and they didn't but I was an awful leader I was 63 00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:50,680 just really talented and gifted and it took me a long time and a lot of 64 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:53,920 reconditioning reconditioning reconditioning for me to finally realize 65 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:57,560 like man you really suck at this leadership thing you know like you really 66 00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:01,440 don't care enough about the people that you serve you really don't show up the 67 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:05,520 way that you can you really don't you're so worried about being better than 68 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:10,400 others that you're not working on being you're just your best self and being 69 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:16,160 authentic about it so there was so many things that took me geez like 28 years I 70 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:20,400 think to finally figure out and learn and be like wow okay everything I've 71 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:26,040 been given and done yeah it put me in leadership positions but I wasn't really 72 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:30,480 stepping in that the right way and I do think that a lot of society a lot of 73 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:34,200 society never even gets that chance right so where are they going to learn 74 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:38,440 it if they don't just have that inherent leadership nature but there are a lot of 75 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:42,240 us that I think you know like I'm so grateful that people believed I could 76 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:46,520 learn it hmm because I I've seen the transformation of my relationships over 77 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:52,760 the last eight years so yeah I love that you know just quickly I'm actually 78 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:56,520 working in an organization and they're an incredible organization but it's 79 00:05:56,520 --> 00:06:00,880 really interesting because you know as I was starting to ask questions at the 80 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:04,800 different levels of leadership you know a lot of people were like hey you know 81 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:09,960 the person who's our leader we don't know if they're a great CEO and you know 82 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:14,080 that they had some valid reasons whatever and I posed the question even 83 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:16,920 though they had tremendous respect for this person I said I said has anyone 84 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:21,240 ever taught this person to be the CEO or they just operating position by default 85 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:25,400 that's right are they the leader by default because you all look up to them 86 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:30,000 and it's so funny the conversation shifted from I see all these 87 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:36,240 deficiencies to oh I actually I can actually maybe empathize that nobody has 88 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:39,880 taught this person to occupy that seat and what that level of leadership looks 89 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:44,540 like they just walked into a title and they've got their own challenges so yeah 90 00:06:44,540 --> 00:06:51,120 super interesting I am writing that down because it's it's one thing to recognize 91 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:56,040 it it's one to be upset or fresher that's another to have that question 92 00:06:56,040 --> 00:07:01,920 empathic question like you said the has anybody ever taught you to be a CEO 93 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:09,240 before you know and when you are able to address that in a way that is so warm it 94 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:14,520 can get people to put the guns down and I'm gonna be like you know yeah no I 95 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:18,440 haven't so well well done that's awesome we're gonna be right back we'll be 96 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:23,880 talking about three keys to unlocking your potential beyond greatness Matthew 97 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:27,360 and I are both big believers that you do have that within you so even if you're 98 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:30,560 in the position right now where you don't feel so great maybe this 99 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:35,080 conversation will change your life we'll be right back all right welcome in to 100 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:39,880 vision pros live with Jackson Calame I'm your show host we'll be doing interviews 101 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:44,120 for visionary entrepreneurs and guest leaders who are building fantastic 102 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:55,960 visions out there hey what's up everybody welcome into another episode 103 00:07:55,960 --> 00:08:00,320 of vision pros live I'm your show host Jackson Calame founder and CEO first 104 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:05,080 class business I am super stoked to have Matthew Sanjari on stage today there is 105 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:09,480 just something incredibly special about this man his authenticity the way he 106 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:13,960 shows up yes there's really cool things that he's done too but the his ability 107 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:19,480 to just dive intentionally into what's profound what's principle driven that's 108 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:23,080 the type of leader that I just I love to learn from their fountain of knowledge 109 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:26,200 and see like where's this gonna go where's this relationship gonna go thanks 110 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:29,760 five ten fifteen years and and how do I keep people like this close to me so be 111 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:33,360 ready for an awesome episode before we bring Matthew on stage we're gonna talk 112 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:36,280 a little bit about the resources that have helped us so much along the way or 113 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:39,760 that we want we know that can be very helpful for you too so that we found and 114 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:44,040 wish we had earlier one beginning with Melissa Gray in the Lost Spot she came 115 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:48,760 on to our show and I was so close to canceling the episode like literally the 116 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:53,160 day of I almost just canceled it because most lawyers are super pretentious I 117 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:56,920 just didn't want to go through that and so I said you know what I gotta show up 118 00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:59,680 I'm the host I gotta make this happen I'm not gonna make an excuse make a sim 119 00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:04,000 sick I'm just gonna show up so I showed up and I found the most nurturing lawyer 120 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:10,280 that I've ever met who also understands what it means to do the hard work to 121 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:16,160 need to show up and and be deliberate direct and of course know their stuff in 122 00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:21,000 terms of law well why is that important I went through a $20,000 lawsuit for my 123 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:24,120 own brand name when I was with restaurant connect you know we were 124 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:29,200 literally protecting a brand we already owned we won but did we we spent $20,000 125 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:32,940 I probably should have done more due diligence on the front end of figuring 126 00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:37,040 out who our legal counsel was and how to find somebody that really cared about 127 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:40,120 our success not somebody really cared about how well we could pay our 128 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:44,040 retainers my hope is that you do the same look into Melissa's company look 129 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:47,880 into other firms protect yourself before you need it and you might find yourself 130 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:50,640 working with somebody who actually cares about your long-term growth and 131 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:53,560 contributes to that as well especially if you work with somebody like the Lost 132 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:58,840 Spot then there's Andrew Sosin of Recovery Unplugged Recovery Unplugged 133 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:02,920 also came on to our show and I was just so impressed with his leadership as I 134 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:06,280 dove deeper and deeper realize wow he's got 400 employees my goodness some of 135 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:10,240 his executives have been through this recovery program from pretty serious 136 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:16,000 addictions his power to help and their power to help take people and transform 137 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:21,080 them not just from you know people who might be considered lesser than in 138 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:25,580 society but to empower them to move forward to have families and to have 139 00:10:25,580 --> 00:10:31,240 stability and to be of executive capacity that's super rare so why am I 140 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:36,160 bringing this up you all know somebody who's dealing with addictions and you 141 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:41,200 probably know who that person is rather than hitting that head-on my my hope is 142 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:44,380 that you call the hotline take 15 minutes out of your day to get some 143 00:10:44,380 --> 00:10:48,240 advice find out what you can do to help that person inspire that person to seek 144 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:51,040 help because a lot of those people don't know how to seek help on their own and 145 00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:54,780 really that's the purpose of the show is to help you to help others spread the 146 00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:59,560 words a lot of people to help speaking of the water project the water project I 147 00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:03,560 will never forget to talk about I will always end up cause that's greater than 148 00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:07,520 our own needs I've never been without water before but there's millions of 149 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:10,800 people on this earth who do not have access to it they actually have to go 150 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:15,240 and look for it these kids in Africa there are millions of them who don't have 151 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:18,840 access to clean drinking water they have to walk three to five miles just to find 152 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:22,160 a source imagine how thirsty you would get on a walk like that what you would 153 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:25,560 want and here they are bringing it back to their school or their parents are 154 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:29,800 having to skip work and provide for their families at full capacity you know 155 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:34,200 meanwhile I get to rock the mic for a podcast so what do I use that for to 156 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:39,160 help showcase these kids celebrate water like my kids celebrate Christmas Day and 157 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:43,520 we have the ability to choose which community we want to support when we do 158 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:47,760 that the water project does an excellent job of showcasing for us exactly what 159 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:51,760 happened with our investment and you get to see the generational impact that you 160 00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:56,560 were making as those people have access to water near their home it is an amazing 161 00:11:56,560 --> 00:12:01,040 opportunity to help out as there's 8 billion people in this world that really 162 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:05,640 need a lot of help we can do more so my hope is if you know of another project 163 00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:08,320 that's more near and dear to your heart instead of feeling like it's a 164 00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:12,040 competition be like well I like this instead say I like this instead can you 165 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:15,640 guys contribute you never know I might contribute directly to it some of our 166 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:18,920 guests might the ripple effect of doing goods amazing so please drop in the 167 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:23,400 comments what causes are important to you and we'll do our best to go about 168 00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:29,040 doing our part with that without further ado Matthew Sanjari it's my honor to 169 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:32,840 have you on the show welcome to vision pros live let me click the right button 170 00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:38,720 to Jackson thanks for having me man I said it me too man all right diving right 171 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:44,040 in what is the vision that you have for those that you serve oh man that's a 172 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:50,320 great question what is the vision I have for those I serve honestly if I were to 173 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:54,520 lay it out really clearly I would say you know it maybe sounds a little cliche 174 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:58,320 but I would say that the vision I have for the people that I serve is I want 175 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:03,880 people to live to their fullest potential and I don't mean that in a vague 176 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:09,360 sense of you know achieving goals or targets I want the people that I serve 177 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:14,400 to feel like I was the greatest support for them and I was able like a cloth you 178 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:19,680 can picture a cloth with like I was able to help that ring out every last drop 179 00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:24,440 potential in their lives you know whether that's their desire to grow in 180 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:28,600 generosity whether that's just their desire to grow as a leader you know 181 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:33,120 whether that's their desire to optimize their lives and become more holistic 182 00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:38,480 just in life I I've really developed this passion that you know I'm seeing 183 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:44,000 work out my business where I'm not the expert and I don't pretend to be you're 184 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:48,160 the expert that's why I partner with you as a coach or as a consultant and where 185 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:52,240 I come in is then how can I help serve you how can I help find your blind 186 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:56,800 spots how can I help you the biggest cheerleader for those areas where maybe 187 00:13:56,800 --> 00:14:03,040 you feel stuck infused glazed over in the moment and so if I can help people 188 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:08,400 entrepreneurs business owners high-level leaders high performers unlock that 189 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:11,880 cheat code that they already have inside of them you know so many people think 190 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:15,600 oh I've got to go do something and I've got to take this course and maybe you do 191 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:19,920 or or maybe you actually have greatness inside of you and you actually just need 192 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:24,840 someone to walk alongside you and see it worked out that doesn't have that 193 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:28,920 proximity that can sometimes hinder that and so yeah I would say that that's the 194 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:33,000 vision I have for the people in my life and the people that I serve that's huge 195 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:37,800 I love the analogy the analogy of wringing out the cloth all right getting 196 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:41,160 every every drop out I have to go irreverent with that because it reminded 197 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:47,040 me of Shanghai noon old movie with Jackie Chan and Wilson why didn't you just say 198 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:55,520 that that movie is my opinion it's classic but yeah that ringing out 199 00:14:55,520 --> 00:15:00,160 process getting everything that you can out of out of life in the best of ways 200 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:04,440 you know you've you've managed to take something that would typically be 201 00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:09,320 isolated to the hustle and the grind culture and you've turned into 202 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:14,720 something beautiful I love that what's your vision for you yeah I think along 203 00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:20,800 those lines but I can see that I know you're gonna ring out every potential 204 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:25,040 that you can as you do what does that look like for you yeah I think for me 205 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:29,520 that's been connected my vision for myself is I want to find the purpose in 206 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:35,840 the pain and to really quantify that you know I I'm the I'm the product of a 207 00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:40,200 refugee and an immigrant so I'm a first generation I've you know experienced 208 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:43,200 that some some crazy things in life had a traumatic car accident that almost 209 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:47,360 ended my life and I've come to a place where I'm like man you know I've got 210 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:53,480 these gifts and talents I'm not gonna hide behind you know behind a rock and 211 00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:59,000 pretend like I don't what I want to see is how can I serve people with those 212 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:02,720 experiences and how can I impact and influence and inspire people around 213 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:08,160 those and so for me you know I'm very open to what that looks like I'll give 214 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:11,920 you an example you know I've I've pastored for on and off for about 12 215 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:16,360 years random marketing business started a real estate developing company and now 216 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:19,840 I'm in my current iteration which is business coaching and I've come to 217 00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:24,680 realize that all of that at the end of the day although great it was all just 218 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:30,240 window dressing I what I really was doing that was so fulfilling during all 219 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:34,480 these things is I was working closely and helping people become the best 220 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:39,600 versions of themselves without realizing until this iteration if I'm honest and 221 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:43,280 it took me you know to my mind or used to realize it that in helping others to 222 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:49,600 do that I actually was helping myself to do the same because it challenged me to 223 00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:53,120 become the best version of me I don't want to lead people or take people 224 00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:57,360 anywhere that I'm not willing to go or to any ask them to pay a price that I'm 225 00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:02,720 not willing to pay and so my vision is to live the kind of life that's so 226 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:08,640 expansive and the kind of life that hopefully speaks volumes so that other 227 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:13,800 people don't just want to partner and potentially even follow along simply 228 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:17,800 because it's good words good content or a great podcast with Jackson it's because 229 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:24,040 people feel the magnetic pull of this person lives it they lead this way they 230 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:28,080 live it I've seen them overcome a car accident I've seen them overcome you 231 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:32,440 know being broke as a first generation you know for being honest you know and 232 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:36,720 navigate navigate some things albeit not so well all the time if I'm completely 233 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:41,300 transparent but but that's that's the kind of life I want I want to live the 234 00:17:41,300 --> 00:17:45,920 kind of life until the kind of organizations and businesses charitable 235 00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:50,960 non-charitable private public that are just so compelling for people to want to 236 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:55,240 join and to want to partner with and to want to have relationship with because 237 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:58,720 they're like yeah I don't know what's there I don't know what that secret sauce 238 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:03,400 is and maybe he can't even explain it but I want that hmm I love that I'm I'm 239 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,960 gonna double down on something real quick we're gonna derail a little bit 240 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:12,240 we're gonna go into a conversation about the 30s the 30s I'm gonna call it the 241 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:19,200 refiner's fire real quick so yeah you know exactly where I'm good track dude 242 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:24,280 well there's just there's so many things that happen to you at that point in life 243 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:28,880 where you know you're supposed to be in your prime right you have everything 244 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:32,560 figured out at that point you might have your you might be on your way with your 245 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:37,860 family you might have your careers hopefully taken off your body is at its 246 00:18:37,860 --> 00:18:42,560 max capacity right there's there's and you know I think of that blink-182 song 247 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:49,160 what's my age again 23 you know he's getting his butt kicked by life all but 248 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:53,600 it's just started brother you don't even know oh wait wait anymore you're getting 249 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:58,720 your butt kicked at 23 the the real butt kick it's coming for most of us so 250 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:06,800 there's what else is it what else is it about that phase of life that just that 251 00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:11,720 can feel so hard for for someone maybe I'm wrong but did you feel like I mean I 252 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:16,200 got my butt kicked in my early 30s oh listen I feel like I'm still getting my 253 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:22,400 butt kicked right feels like it feels better now it's like okay so I don't 254 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:25,760 know if I have an answer for this but from personal experience I think one of 255 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:29,760 the things that my 30s has done is my 30s have been the great reveal for me 256 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:34,320 yeah right this you know in my 20s and even in my teens you know it's not to 257 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:38,760 say that you know I'm not a glass half full optimistic full of life kind of guy 258 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:44,560 I still am but my 30s have taught me to live in reality and not so much in 259 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:49,200 fantasy land you know as I've partnered up I'm about to get married you know as 260 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:55,320 I've really settled into my circles yeah she's incredible honestly I believe 261 00:19:55,320 --> 00:20:00,920 that thank you and yeah just just I find my 30s are just such a great revealer 262 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:05,640 and I don't know you know if I if all these of a lot of these things have been 263 00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:09,160 revealed in my 20s I would have probably ran the other I wasn't ready to put in 264 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:13,400 the work didn't have the commitment level I used to hear this quote that I 265 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:16,880 loved and I really try and live by it was passion starts a thing but 266 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:22,880 commitment sees it through and I feel like my 20s for my passions and my 30s 267 00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:27,440 in my commitment I love it I love that you used a different word than I did to 268 00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:30,720 that really helped solidify that too I want to own the fact that you talked 269 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:33,920 about how like we're still in it right I don't mean to say I've arrived by any 270 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:41,000 but I think one of the the great reveal that is such a is that a coined term 271 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:46,160 because he I hope it gets coined by you now because the 30s are the great reveal 272 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:51,040 I think a lot of what happens our family our friends ourselves like we've set 273 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:54,400 ourselves up to be something and now people are like a little bit less 274 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:58,400 patient like okay you keep saying you're going to do that you keep saying you're 275 00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:01,520 going to make this happen you know you keep saying that you know and then 276 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:06,080 you're also kind of you you stop posing a lot you know you start to realize like 277 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:11,920 man maybe I just need to accept where I'm at use the self-awareness really 278 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:16,960 turns up a whole a whole new level at least we have the opportunity to so any 279 00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:20,760 of you 30 year olds are going through that right now just take a look at 280 00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:24,240 Matthew where he's going what he's up to what he's accomplished where he's you 281 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:30,120 know and know that you have more value within you than you probably give 282 00:21:30,120 --> 00:21:33,640 yourself credit for unless you're narcissistic you know the way you go 283 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:38,720 the opposite direction but we're gonna leave that right where it's at so with 284 00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:43,000 that said let's dive into the the most difficult the darkest section of this 285 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:47,120 conversation maybe it goes hand-in-hand what's the worst leadership experience 286 00:21:47,120 --> 00:21:52,020 that you've ever had oh man the worst leadership experience I've ever had is 287 00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:59,000 self-induced for sure so so I was pastoring and I was leading our creative 288 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:04,240 teams right so I'm talking like so I'm partially creative I'm that balance of 289 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:08,560 creative and analytical but I was building you know a team and leading a 290 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:14,800 team of people who at their best are brilliant and at their worst or 291 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:20,160 unfocused you can't have changes of arrogance there's a lot of people in 292 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:25,120 management when it comes to that and you know one of the things that I one of the 293 00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:29,360 viable lessons that I didn't latch on to very quickly was that expedience is not 294 00:22:29,360 --> 00:22:34,040 your friend in leadership and you know we got to this this point you know where 295 00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:38,520 the church was growing very quickly you know my team at this point you know I'm 296 00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:42,720 leading I'm personally responsible for 60 to 70 people you know it's not a 297 00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:47,120 small you know we're starting to have you know sort of break off into groups 298 00:22:47,120 --> 00:22:51,080 because it's it's not manageable for me to lead 60 or 70 people on a one-on-one 299 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:57,640 level and I honestly I started to buckle under the pressure I started to buckle 300 00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:02,560 under the pressure of the goals and kind of the overall vision and I started to 301 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:07,600 basically I led with this urgency that wasn't healthy where I basically put 302 00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:12,000 everything on myself and said I need to make this happen and it was painful and 303 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:16,000 it was painful not just for me in hindsight but honestly it actually hurt 304 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:21,120 quite a few people it meant me putting met me promoting people ahead of where 305 00:23:21,120 --> 00:23:28,720 they should have been it meant me forcing squares and around holes and it 306 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:33,880 really caused me to be to go down this road where I was so all consumed by the 307 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:40,320 goal that I actually missed the vision if that makes sense yeah I was so all 308 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:46,600 consumed by this target that I started to make some decisions that honestly you 309 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:51,600 know left people hurting left people frustrated and you know I had to go on a 310 00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:55,520 bit of an apology to her when everything was said and done and rightfully so but 311 00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:59,200 it was one of those things that I had to learn from it mean experience is not 312 00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:02,680 your friend it very interesting the story on that I got to back you up on 313 00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:06,720 this you talked about losing sight of the vision and route to the goal right 314 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:11,120 that is a very literal and real thing I hit it the other night embarrassingly I 315 00:24:11,120 --> 00:24:17,640 fell halfway down my stairs and here's why I turned the light off in my room 316 00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:22,280 I'm in a new apartment like a new duplex rather and I'm going towards the light 317 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:25,480 switch and it's pitch black and I can't see but I know where that light switches 318 00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:31,400 you know like there's no way I'm gonna and I hit the staircase and I was like 319 00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:36,040 and so here my heart was so focused on that goal you know of hitting the light 320 00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:41,320 switch knowing that I was just fine even though I couldn't see and yet there I go 321 00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:45,240 following us and we do that as visionaries often you know it's a 322 00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:50,880 little bit less literal but the same lesson can apply if we're really look at 323 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:55,920 where where are we losing sight of the day to day and or the next steps that 324 00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:59,960 are critical to be able to actually fulfill that goal and not not fall on 325 00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:07,200 stairs yeah and for again it feels like in so many situations you know if we're 326 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:11,080 talking you know if a few tasks drop here and there it's probably not life 327 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:15,160 altering but I think for me it's a sobering reminder that because people 328 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:19,160 hung in the balance on this one from a leadership perspective it was really 329 00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:22,800 sobering and I think rightfully so because as leaders you know when we make 330 00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:27,080 these decisions oftentimes it's so much more than ourselves and I think that 331 00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:32,040 that was a that was a much needed lesson in an unfortunate manner well it came 332 00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:36,880 early right these variables they don't always play out as fast as yours did you 333 00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:40,840 know that would be far worse imagine you're 60 and those variables had 334 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,480 continued to kind of just fall into place to where you get and then you've 335 00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:49,420 got the capital ten times more of the pain of of that failure and it's one 336 00:25:49,420 --> 00:25:52,160 thing I love about these conversations with you it's obvious that you don't 337 00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:56,320 you don't get addicted to that destination you know and you have kind 338 00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:59,360 of a resistance from allowing me to even pull you that way with some of the way 339 00:25:59,360 --> 00:26:06,320 I've articulated this conversation so I love that the expedience is not your 340 00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:11,160 friend as a leader that is oh my I'm gonna be using that more more often so 341 00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:16,480 what's the best leadership experience that you've ever had okay so this is 342 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:19,680 one of my favorite stories so you know I mentioned earlier I ran a marketing 343 00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:25,520 consulting firm for about ten years and my second ever client I should have 344 00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:28,960 never landed this client I honestly had no idea what I was doing in the 345 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:32,880 beginning from up from a marketing perspective you you mean you actually 346 00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:38,720 were a marketer and yeah I was like most marketing guys and girls never mind 347 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:45,800 keep going listen it was a hard road with some hard lessons but that second 348 00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:50,720 client that ever landing ended up being my best client stuck with me to the 349 00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:56,080 bitter end and the client actually opted out of when I exited my agency they're 350 00:26:56,080 --> 00:27:00,440 like hey I don't want to be sold you know I had a great we had a great time 351 00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:04,260 great relationship and I remember being so upset I was like dude I went to the 352 00:27:04,260 --> 00:27:07,920 bathroom we had some hard parts we had some great we had a relational time 353 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:11,200 outside of and so we're being really frustrated and you know some time went 354 00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:14,240 by a few months went by and I was kind of sitting around wondering what's my 355 00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:17,960 next move you know as an entrepreneur I can't just be sitting on my hands I feel 356 00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:22,040 like I need to be a contributing member of society right and he'd been trying 357 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:25,880 to get a hold of me I had been dodging his calls emails so if he's watching 358 00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:32,080 that wasn't you just kidding but I finally you know some push from my now 359 00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:35,920 fiance I called him back and he basically went on the spiel and he said 360 00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:40,440 hey look I could have hired any marketer it wasn't your marketing is the reason 361 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:46,280 why I stuck with you I loved how you treated us I loved the analytical side 362 00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:49,920 where you were so thorough where you always were honest with us it was never 363 00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:53,640 enough so you you tell us hey I wouldn't spend that money if I were you I would 364 00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:57,960 go down this road and so because of that trust I actually want you to do what you 365 00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:01,360 did for our marketing in every area of our business I want you to go through 366 00:28:01,360 --> 00:28:04,560 sales I want you to go through marketing when you go through the admin the 367 00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:12,280 finance and I want you to help teach and coach and lead our teams and honestly to 368 00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:16,200 this day it's why I started the business coaching and consulting he's the reason 369 00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:20,000 why I I would if you know Jackson V coming to me and said hey you should do 370 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:23,280 this I've been like to be honest I'm probably not qualified I'm not gonna 371 00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:30,120 live under any illusion that I am right for him to come back you know our our 372 00:28:30,120 --> 00:28:33,560 relationship started in 2013 you know for him to come back that was ten years 373 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:38,920 later and say it was the way that you've treated me over the last decade I want 374 00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:43,160 to do business with you in whatever and do endeavor you're doing next that to me 375 00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:49,360 you know how I led in those moments even when it didn't line my pocketbook even 376 00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:56,440 when it was really hard it just reminded me of you know it's really easy and I've 377 00:28:56,440 --> 00:29:00,760 been there it's really easy to lead in these glorious moments where you know 378 00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:04,320 it's like stakes and the lights are on and you know you're on a podcast or a 379 00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:11,440 TV or you know on a TV screen it's not easy to stay consistent and lead in those 380 00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:15,360 private moments when no one's looking absolutely you still when you treat the 381 00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:18,000 administrative assistant with the same level of kindness you treated the 382 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:22,800 business on that and so to hear that if I'm being honest it actually brought me 383 00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:27,680 to tears and it's been a catalyst as to why I started this new iteration of the 384 00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:34,440 business and I haven't looked back since it's huge it's a it's a big well done on 385 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:39,840 the business owner side for recognizing that having the the wherewithal to also 386 00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:44,880 find you again you know and to make sure that that was so many people would have 387 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:48,400 a fear associated with that a doubt well maybe he's not available maybe he 388 00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:51,960 doesn't want to you know maybe he's avoiding me you know and that 389 00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:56,520 persistence that existed there by that leader and then to give you the keys of 390 00:29:56,520 --> 00:30:02,000 stewardship you know to say you know hey let's do this you him recognizing that 391 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,680 you're the type of person who wasn't going to come in and domineer it and 392 00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:09,560 control and say I know everything you know him knowing how to tee that up too 393 00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:16,640 like there's so many aspects of that takes two to tango reality of that 394 00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:23,520 leadership experience that we can learn from as as visionary leaders in our own 395 00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:29,280 lives those you were listening to I I've also learned recently and this is 396 00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:32,360 actually fair like within the last couple of weeks somebody was talking 397 00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:40,080 about how people don't buy people buy if it's going to improve that make their 398 00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:45,640 life better right and and that reality is like man entrepreneurship is one of 399 00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:49,400 those hard things in growth where it's like now sometimes you can't feel your 400 00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:52,120 life getting better right sometimes you're going through the thick of it it 401 00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:57,520 doesn't feel like an improvement but there's a difference between making 402 00:30:57,520 --> 00:31:01,560 somebody's life feel better and actually making somebody's life better and 403 00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:05,400 there's still an important balance on that too though because if you ignore the 404 00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:09,440 feelings that can push somebody away but if you only focus on the feelings then 405 00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:12,840 you might not build the tangible realities of what's necessary and you 406 00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:17,080 guys both seem to get that as you you're moving into that relationship in ways 407 00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:22,800 that I don't see businesses doing so how you know when you knew you didn't 408 00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:28,600 necessarily have the capacity for all departments and he saw the value in and 409 00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:33,960 having you do that what did the execution of that kind of look like how 410 00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:38,400 did you guys get on the same page of like cool this this because this is 411 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:43,000 almost exactly what we do at first-class business as well but it's hard to 412 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,960 explain that to people and help people realize that no we're not gonna put 413 00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:51,960 boxes on people and say stay in this box how did you guys figure that out yeah 414 00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:55,400 and you know it's funny you said a word earlier that I think is the framework 415 00:31:55,400 --> 00:32:00,120 that I try to operate from and it's this idea I've been entrusted you know what 416 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:04,480 whether it was in marketing whether it was as a real estate development company 417 00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:09,200 now as business coach it's like when people come on as a client they're 418 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:12,800 actually entrusting me with their baby they're entrusting me with their people 419 00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:17,520 they're entrusting with their product or service and so I think that's what you 420 00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:21,440 know that client was giving language to you it's like I can trust you something 421 00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:26,040 you've done well with it let's give you some more and so the framework for me 422 00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:30,120 has always been and I know it's hard because oftentimes you know when we need 423 00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:35,880 help we outsource or we hide right but I want to shed that illusion for myself 424 00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:41,360 anyways that I'm not the expert right what I am is I'm a great accountability 425 00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:46,200 and I'm gonna lead I'm gonna step in and fill the gap and bring other people with 426 00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:51,640 me and so I think that framework was so helpful because because that's how he 427 00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:57,120 introduced me he introduced me as Matt is going to be our greatest advocate he 428 00:32:57,120 --> 00:33:01,600 is going to be here working alongside you in the trenches and and it's funny 429 00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:05,080 because even though I had that relationship for ten years and I had I 430 00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:09,320 was in his good graces you know he loved me and I love working with him I never 431 00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:13,560 built currency with esteem for at least on the rest of the team right so while 432 00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:18,960 that relationship had such longevity I was starting anew with the rest of the 433 00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:25,520 team and I actually had to come to terms with okay we've got an existing 434 00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:29,200 relationship and that's amazing but my framework also has to change because I've 435 00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:32,040 got to be some relationship buildings I've got to go back to ground zero with a 436 00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:37,680 lot of this team and do all the things build relationship you know ask about 437 00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:42,360 people's day actually care about them and show them that I care about them and 438 00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:49,520 here we are a year and a half later you know just there's this idea that I like 439 00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:53,480 to operate with from a leadership paradigm it's you know it's the bank 440 00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:57,800 account you know if you're gonna make withdrawals you better make sure that 441 00:33:57,800 --> 00:34:01,280 you have more than enough deposits that's huge you've been in this 442 00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:08,520 creating currency with the team and Taylor oh man I forgot his last name 443 00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:15,440 somehow yeah Evans and Welch Taylor Welch there it is he talks about 444 00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:20,960 relationship equity and building that with people and the value of doing so 445 00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:25,880 and it's the same concept and it's so valuable and I think I worry that people 446 00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:30,440 will miss what you said which was it's it oftentimes starts the best starting 447 00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:34,600 point the easiest starting point is when the leader does that right when the 448 00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:38,320 leader builds that relationship and says hey we're working with a new agent 449 00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:42,600 see you know I'm not or team you know we're evaluating this new agency want to 450 00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:46,040 bring them in you know let's do this together what pros and cons do you see 451 00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:50,040 right have that relationship first then bring the agency in knowing that 452 00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:54,000 everybody's on the same page but also bring them in and tee that up for extra 453 00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:57,520 success by saying hey we're super excited to have you guys here this is 454 00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:01,080 John this is Betty you know John and Betty already excited to support how 455 00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:04,360 they can if you ever need anything from great and letting John and Betty know 456 00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:07,160 like and he they're here to do this this and this and we're here to support and 457 00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:11,200 make that happen right we just I don't see that happening in small businesses 458 00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:16,840 and you know it's it's fun when it does happen because then everybody's ready to 459 00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:23,120 go as a unified harmonic team feel free to challenge that or add to it no I know 460 00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:28,560 I love it and I think that it's that positioning that's so helpful right like 461 00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:32,360 and it's true because this isn't just true in business this is true in life 462 00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:37,520 right like you know it's funny I these are things that I take for granted 463 00:35:37,520 --> 00:35:41,240 because I'm an extrovert I love you got step siblings or stepkids you gotta do 464 00:35:41,240 --> 00:35:45,720 the same thing yeah yeah I love people and you know so when I go out with a 465 00:35:45,720 --> 00:35:49,080 group of friends that were melding friend groups to me it's natural for me 466 00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:53,560 to go this is so-and-so they're the best person ever you guys need to get 467 00:35:53,560 --> 00:36:00,360 together do tribal leadership a book nobody reads and if we all read it our 468 00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:03,480 lives to be so much easier it talks about this it's called triad relationships 469 00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:08,720 have you heard that term no I have you're living by it less than 2% of the 470 00:36:08,720 --> 00:36:13,240 world lives by the standard of companies worldwide practice types of standards 471 00:36:13,240 --> 00:36:16,560 that you're practicing they only get practice at what they call a fourth 472 00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:21,800 level leadership but you it's the it's a secret to long-term success is building 473 00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:25,780 these triad relationships where it's not based on two people it's based on three 474 00:36:25,780 --> 00:36:29,940 people and doing exactly what you said as simple as it sounds it's not 475 00:36:29,940 --> 00:36:34,040 practiced very often but it removes friction it removes a head-to-head 476 00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:38,280 situation because you got three people who are involved in the relationship 477 00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:41,960 with that point so it's it's brilliant that you've you found that on your own 478 00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:48,360 it's very rare let's go into the most powerful lesson so if this was your last 479 00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:52,520 chance to share word of wisdom powerful lesson with the world specifically 480 00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:57,120 provisionaries and leaders what would the powerful lesson be oh man that's a 481 00:36:57,120 --> 00:37:03,080 great question what would be if this feels like the what would your last meal 482 00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:08,400 be that's exactly what it is that's exactly yeah you know what I want to 483 00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:12,560 relate this back to what I said earlier that I felt like it's part of my vision 484 00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:16,640 but I would encourage every visionary or every leader every owner every 485 00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:23,760 high performer find purpose in your pain okay part of what I've experienced in my 486 00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:28,520 20s and 30s is coming to this place where I've recognized whether in my life 487 00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:33,000 or as an entrepreneur or as a leader there will be pain there will be 488 00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:40,440 rejection that is a fact of life the sooner I get to understanding okay I'm 489 00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:44,840 gonna feel this probably need to sit here a little bit they can take in that 490 00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:51,400 experience but once that's over how can I use this to my advantage how can I 491 00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:55,800 leverage this for the people in my life how can I leverage this for the vision 492 00:37:55,800 --> 00:38:00,080 that I feel like I've been called to the sooner I can find purpose in my physical 493 00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:05,960 pain emotional pain relationship pain the sooner I can learn from it and I 494 00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:10,300 think that for me starting with living in that reality of okay there will be 495 00:38:10,300 --> 00:38:13,480 pain there are gonna be moments where I'm gonna get rejected there are gonna 496 00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:18,400 be moments that are not gonna go to my like there's been plenty of them and I 497 00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:23,000 can either just sit there and just let those define me and just say oh yeah it 498 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:28,240 was a cool story great moment or I can go what was the lesson to extract from 499 00:38:28,240 --> 00:38:34,240 this and can that help someone else you know I threw at this this this story 500 00:38:34,240 --> 00:38:37,000 early on just like I mentioned a briefly you know I had this horrific car 501 00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:41,720 accident 12 years hit two horses three inches from death almost took my life 502 00:38:41,720 --> 00:38:49,480 and for five or six years I was a bitter depressed man I was no fun I would suck 503 00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:54,480 the joy out of rooms and I it wasn't until I started to sit down with people 504 00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:59,040 who would hear my story from other people and they would tell me hey I also 505 00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:02,560 struggle with this hey I struggle with this secret illness I've never told 506 00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:08,760 anyone I started realize oh there's power in my pain and instead of hiding 507 00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:13,600 it and being afraid of the experiences and things and the rejections that we 508 00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:17,720 don't want to see because social media doesn't glamorize those things right if 509 00:39:17,720 --> 00:39:23,340 I lean into that and find the purpose in it that purpose will push me and propel 510 00:39:23,340 --> 00:39:27,040 me and it's also probably gonna help a lot of people on the way and that's how 511 00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:30,440 you know you build this relational currency it's how you you know really 512 00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:33,840 start to grow in your leadership I think and it's been really helpful for me I 513 00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:37,960 can't wait to get to these three keys but for those who are listening to us 514 00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:41,040 right now the the reality is the three keys will be easy to come back to any 515 00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:45,160 time there's new keys that keep popping up or I'm like man if we don't capture 516 00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:50,160 this now we might miss it so you talked about being bitter and depressed and 517 00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:54,480 dealing with that and you've obviously made a massive transformation because I 518 00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:57,840 don't catch any of that in your demeanor and your attitude and the 519 00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:01,200 conversations that we've had at this point I'm sure you have your your 520 00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:05,480 difficult days what I'm getting at here though is there are people in your life 521 00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:11,240 who are probably affected by where you ended up with the bitter and depression 522 00:40:11,240 --> 00:40:17,660 and some of those people are probably in your life today I find it a challenge to 523 00:40:17,660 --> 00:40:24,020 sometimes recover with those individuals to ever escape the reality of like man 524 00:40:24,020 --> 00:40:29,120 that's kind of my my label with said people it can be very not so like Gary 525 00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:33,860 Vaynerchuk says go find a new five you know go find people who you know will 526 00:40:33,860 --> 00:40:37,720 support you and other people say you know careful with a circle of five but 527 00:40:37,720 --> 00:40:41,840 sometimes we influence them in such a negative way with what we the whole we 528 00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:48,560 dug for ourself have you found your ability to turn that around are there 529 00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:54,500 any are there any principles or secrets to making that happen so the restoration 530 00:40:54,500 --> 00:40:58,440 can be provided in a relationship that may not have been that bad it may have 531 00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:02,480 just been our own state and our depression or our awareness what are your 532 00:41:02,480 --> 00:41:07,200 thoughts on that yeah so I love this and I've actually learned this lesson from a 533 00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:11,560 few people in my life my fiance and my father was so good at modeling this but I 534 00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:16,720 think I've ever been in that position personally and I think one of the 535 00:41:16,720 --> 00:41:21,160 reasons why and again osmosis I've learned this from people is repair starts 536 00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:29,360 with me you know my father was a refugee he came to North America with the clothes 537 00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:34,280 on his back and not much else and so much that story it's incredible but he 538 00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:38,520 went through so much in his first four or five years overcoming language 539 00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:42,440 barriers socioeconomic the whole bit I look back in his life and say man if 540 00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:45,520 there was ever a guy who could throw a few complaints out and he could make 541 00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:50,560 some excuses it'd be him and yet there was none of that what there was a lot of 542 00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:56,360 personal personal responsibility taking ownership you know trying to learn and 543 00:41:56,360 --> 00:42:00,520 so you know what watching my dad over the years who again it's not perfect and 544 00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:04,440 you know has actually failed in business and different things one of the biggest 545 00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:08,520 things I learned from him was you know repair starts if we take ownership you 546 00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:11,400 can't control what happens on the other side you can't control the label that 547 00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:15,240 they've ascribed to you rightfully or wrongfully you can't even control their 548 00:42:15,240 --> 00:42:22,120 perception of you but you can control repair because you can start with it you 549 00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:26,240 can go and you can say hey can we have a conversation I'd like to learn more 550 00:42:26,240 --> 00:42:31,520 about your side I'd like to understand why there's some distance I want to know 551 00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:38,720 why why something feels off or is that just me and see my dad lead and ask 552 00:42:38,720 --> 00:42:42,520 questions and my fiance's been so good at this this concept of repair has 553 00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:46,680 honestly done wonders for me because like in that worst leadership story I 554 00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:51,320 told you I've hurt people I've definitely you know led people astray and I've gone 555 00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:57,520 off the rails and while I can't change that I can control the repair and make 556 00:42:57,520 --> 00:43:01,640 efforts into how to how to change that and it may never go back to what it was 557 00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:06,080 or you may still have the scar on your arm from from the healing but that's 558 00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:10,200 okay because you can still start to repair it's huge thank you for that 559 00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:14,560 that's that's fantastic I get to use these sessions sometimes is like my own 560 00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:20,120 therapy sessions and lessons in leadership and it's amazing so Matthew 561 00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:24,040 let's dive in three keys time locking our potential beyond greatness well what 562 00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:28,920 are these three keys about and you know what what else would you like to tell us 563 00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:33,160 the show is yours for the next five minutes yeah I mean honestly if I were 564 00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:36,360 to boil it down it's funny it's funny I have three keys and I feel like they're 565 00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:40,960 always just constantly changing but because you know you just find something 566 00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:45,040 else they're like oh man this really knocks this one down but I think the 567 00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:48,880 three keys for me if I were to start be coachable that's that's the number one 568 00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:53,640 and I don't just say that as a business coaches this is not a plug it's someone 569 00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:56,240 asked me that I said you know who are your best clients are the people you 570 00:43:56,240 --> 00:44:00,080 love to work with and I think it's an important club plug I'm gonna I'm gonna 571 00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:04,720 hit it as a plug in and that dude like people one of my least favorite sayings 572 00:44:04,720 --> 00:44:08,460 to hear out there is I already have a coach and I'm like you know me coaches 573 00:44:08,460 --> 00:44:12,000 LeBron James has like you know me coaches amazing people out there have 574 00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:16,440 like they got a ton of them right so if they can add you to like if you're an 575 00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:21,680 addition not a subtraction to people's lives and why would they not reach out 576 00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:25,440 to you and call you and talk to you sorry go ahead and derail I love it and 577 00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:29,600 it's that idea it's like the other day there's people who are way way more 578 00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:34,320 successful than any of us who still have coaches and I just really think that 579 00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:39,040 comes from an attitude of I don't have it all figured out but I'd love to learn 580 00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:42,880 if I can even just grow you know the other day I learned Phil Mickelson the 581 00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:47,560 great golfer has a swing coach and when asked why he had a coach he basically 582 00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:53,800 said you know if I can just improve by a quarter of a stroke every round and I 583 00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:58,000 was like quarter stroke every round for people who don't you know watch golf 584 00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:01,160 that's a stroke over four on that could be the difference between winning and 585 00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:07,520 losing absolutely it seems so miniscule so be coachable right because that's 586 00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:12,760 where so much of the learning comes in I'd say my second thing that I've 587 00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:17,520 really learned on the business side and again this this sounds easier than it is 588 00:45:17,520 --> 00:45:25,120 I'm sure is try and be unaffendable and what I really mean by that is look you're 589 00:45:25,120 --> 00:45:27,760 you're gonna go through hardship you know we've already established that 590 00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:31,840 you've probably gone through hardship but offense is actually something that 591 00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:36,800 we choose to take on right you can be hurt that's how you feel and we need to 592 00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:41,000 validate feelings and emotions but offense and anger and bitterness are the 593 00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:45,160 things that lead to that compost that we have a choice in that and you know what 594 00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:49,680 things I've learned in business is you know I've and in leadership you know I'll 595 00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:52,920 have an interaction and someone who's wrong I don't there's any question if I 596 00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:56,360 were to be objective about it someone has definitely dropped their end of the 597 00:45:56,360 --> 00:46:01,320 bargain they've wronged me it's still my choice on how I respond to it and it's 598 00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:05,320 still my choice as to whether I'm gonna pick up their baggage and go I'm gonna 599 00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:09,520 carry this around and at the end of the day if I carry their baggage around in 600 00:46:09,520 --> 00:46:13,400 leadership or business or my personal life it's actually less space in my 601 00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:18,400 suitcase for what for what I should be carrying around right I love that the 602 00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:22,800 things that I should be having and I would say my last thing so the 603 00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:27,720 coaching sorry be coachable be unaffendable and the last thing I'd say 604 00:46:27,720 --> 00:46:34,240 is always try and optimize okay and I don't mean you have to go down this 605 00:46:34,240 --> 00:46:37,480 ridiculous road where you're like I'm gonna make everything super efficient 606 00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:41,760 super effective but if you have a growth mindset which is probably the word that 607 00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:46,200 most people would use why don't apply that to everything I don't just want to 608 00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:50,080 be a growth mindset when it comes to business I want to be a growth mindset 609 00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:54,880 in my relationships you know I just you know on a personal level my fiance and I 610 00:46:54,880 --> 00:47:00,920 were actually in premarital counseling yeah people asked us they're like wait 611 00:47:00,920 --> 00:47:03,560 why are you in counseling you aren't even married like you guys aren't 612 00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:10,800 like I'm like I'd like to learn tools and skills before we get asked like one 613 00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:14,960 of the best things we can do for relationships of any kind yeah right and 614 00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:19,680 and you know whether it's finance or you know business all these things personal 615 00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:23,640 relationships I just want to be someone who's a little bit obsessed because I am 616 00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:28,120 with optimization right how can I get a little bit and I know that you're like 617 00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:32,120 this right it's like and you know a growth mindset some people call it 618 00:47:32,120 --> 00:47:38,120 whatever just be committed to how can I be a little bit better you're not gonna 619 00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:40,560 always have the best days and always gonna have the best moments but how can I 620 00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:43,640 just be a little bit better is really what I'm trying to say that's amazing 621 00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:49,080 and I'm so impressed with you doing that on the fly and you weren't offended by 622 00:47:49,080 --> 00:47:53,160 it and that's that's amazing so I'm gonna I'm gonna bring this up as a very 623 00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:57,640 live true example of your leadership and I'm just gonna send my flowers your way 624 00:47:57,640 --> 00:48:03,680 as I do this on purpose because I designed the title for this episode 625 00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:08,880 without Matthew's permission based on the submission form that we had and he 626 00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:12,000 did not articulate these had to be the three topics so we didn't even talk 627 00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:15,840 about that to go into this we talked about the title but I didn't tell him 628 00:48:15,840 --> 00:48:20,040 where I was going with it so he could be mad at me he could be offended you know 629 00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:25,480 he could be like like you set me up for failure dude you know like why why did 630 00:48:25,480 --> 00:48:29,240 you make that happen like there's so many reactions that could transpire that 631 00:48:29,240 --> 00:48:34,780 maybe in the past with certain guests have you know maybe maybe not but you 632 00:48:34,780 --> 00:48:40,080 didn't you know and so you came up with on the fly three extremely important 633 00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:45,640 keys and the authenticity behind that shows that the depth of well that you 634 00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:51,160 have in terms of being able to think on your feet find solutions to present 635 00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:55,520 problems or reality of situations whatever whatever brand name we want to 636 00:48:55,520 --> 00:49:01,560 apply to the opportunities in front of us and no you didn't you didn't talk 637 00:49:01,560 --> 00:49:05,640 about automation delegation and elimination but you gave three 638 00:49:05,640 --> 00:49:11,160 phenomenal keys and we all benefited from it and I think you chose three keys 639 00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:15,960 that for I shouldn't say I think I know there's people who will hear this those 640 00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:20,200 are the three keys they needed today right and we never know the variable it 641 00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:25,240 doesn't mean it's the the fulcrum the keystone whatever aspect of what we're 642 00:49:25,240 --> 00:49:29,520 building you know that there's a there's a Bible scripture on it you know like 643 00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:33,600 the finger or the hand can't say to the eye you're not important and vice versa 644 00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:38,960 every element is extremely valuable so thanks for breaking those down so well 645 00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:45,000 on the fly put on the spot you like gave a TED talk that was cool thank you man 646 00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:49,920 honestly it's it's felt like we're just talking in your living room and so it 647 00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:55,720 just we need to in the future you're invited yeah we got to get you here in 648 00:49:55,720 --> 00:49:59,080 New Braunfels would be awesome so those of you who are listening in we're gonna 649 00:49:59,080 --> 00:50:03,280 put action steps in the landing page that way you can know exactly how it's 650 00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:07,040 easiest to get in touch with Matthew what resources he has available for you 651 00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:11,240 and we'll have a social media channels there so you can follow him if there's 652 00:50:11,240 --> 00:50:15,000 any other requests you guys have that you want to comment on this with your 653 00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:18,640 questions or your perspectives and what we've shared please do and if you know 654 00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:22,320 somebody who would benefit from this show then of course subscribe share it 655 00:50:22,320 --> 00:50:25,560 with people tell people about we're up to so we can help more and more people 656 00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:29,680 and if you are a visionary leader yourself you got a vision it doesn't 657 00:50:29,680 --> 00:50:34,120 have to be taking people to Mars with Elon Musk it can be something much more 658 00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:39,000 simple than that if it's for helping people we want you on our show there's a 659 00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:42,320 there's a button in the top right corner says be our guests click the button 660 00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:45,800 apply to be in our show come share your vision with us and those that you're 661 00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:49,440 serving tell us all about it so we can we can just continue to help people in 662 00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:54,320 this world and in addition to that Matthew I love for you to just give us 663 00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:57,800 one final thought well what do you want to end on today man you always got some 664 00:50:57,800 --> 00:51:00,480 great wisdom so I'm gonna test that as far as I can 665 00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:05,600 oh man I don't know that I have anything deep I just want to say though honestly 666 00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:09,880 and this may not be going for but it's been honored to just be on the podcast 667 00:51:09,880 --> 00:51:13,800 man thanks for having me it like it's just such a great conversation and I 668 00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:18,760 feel like I've learned a lot just you and I feel so aligned but you find ways 669 00:51:18,760 --> 00:51:23,640 to use different vernacular for the things I say and so if I just feel like 670 00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:26,600 I can pull and learn from those things yeah it's just been a great experience 671 00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:33,000 and so yeah everybody lean into this podcast a great podcast feelings mutual 672 00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:36,200 my friend we look forward to seeing you guys in the next episode everybody have 673 00:51:36,200 --> 00:51:39,560 a fantastic rest your day thank you for being here today I'm really happy that 674 00:51:39,560 --> 00:51:43,880 you tuned in to vision pros live I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions 675 00:51:43,880 --> 00:51:47,800 as these episodes continue to move forward is gonna get more and more fun 676 00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:51,440 we'll have more and more engagement as well we'll invite people to participate in 677 00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:54,640 the show and thank you for giving us your time and attention have an 678 00:51:54,640 --> 00:52:13,440 excellent time building out your vision and become