you seem trustworthy and I'm thinking if he has something that I can learn from, I trust
him and I want to see what it's all about.
Awesome.
And do you currently, have you used the BioSheet or the VSL?
Irresistible cells are yet?
Not yet?
Not yet.
Yeah, I haven't even looked at it.
So, well, I think I glanced at one a little bit, but it was like, okay, I'll get to it
in a second.
Oh, there's so much to get to.
So you've got this conference coming up.
That sounds like an event.
I said conference.
Yeah, it's an event.
More like an event.
Yeah.
For women, business owners, I'm assuming.
Tell us about that.
Yeah.
So it is a friend of mine, she works with Overpublic Title and so she's always giving
educational classes for the real estate field and, but she's also a woman that loves to
support other women and she loves collaboration.
So with her and I, we just want to bring something a little different and unique for her, you
know, general audience and we want to empower, encourage, inspire women.
You know, like I said, just a little while ago, we are our biggest critics and we talk
to ourselves the most and so we have to remind ourselves, okay, how are we speaking to ourselves
as if we're speaking to our best friend or our loved one or even our child.
That's huge, you know, and we are our biggest critics and sometimes, I mean, I used to be
so negatively critical and toxic to myself growing up and now I've almost forgotten that
where I'm at because I would never treat myself the way I used to or anybody else and so it's
a wonderful place to get to.
There's a lot of people who don't live in that realm so that's really neat what you
do.
Is this a San Antonio only event?
Is this worldwide?
What's the?
This is just a San Antonio event so it's just a, you know, two and a half hour event, just
getting the ladies together.
It's also a time for networking, you know, collaboration.
I'm always like, I always make a new friend and so just, you know, less than three hours,
you pay something to go home to, you know, wake up the next day, go to work and you've
got a little bit more hope in your stuff, you know, so.
Yeah, definitely.
All right, so as we dive in, get ready to dive into your vision, what resources and
or books do you recommend?
If you recommend three to people out there who are on this path of making the most out
of their life or moving their own visions forward, what would they be?
So there is one that I would listen to the most, one of the most difficult times.
I would go on YouTube and there was this channel, Motiversity, and it has like the most motivational
speakers, thought leaders, and it talks everything from success and mindset, fulfillment and
relationships, and I would listen to that every morning when I woke up and I would have
it in my car.
And so I still listen to it pretty often, but it was for a good season every day and
it just, it helped me shift my thoughts.
So even though something difficult was happening at that moment, I was like, but this, you
know, and so I would definitely recommend their YouTube channel.
I love it.
That's a fantastic, it reminds me of my relationship with a channel called Charisma on Command,
fantastic emotional intelligence channel on how to relate and influence people.
So I will definitely be checking out Motiversity.
What's resource two and three?
Okay.
So two is, I would have to say I, I love action movies.
You will not see me with a romantic movie or a chick flick that often.
And I also love the underdog movies and the superheroes.
And so I watched, I actually watched their season, all their seasons twice.
It's Legends of Tomorrow, DC.
And what I loved about it is like the very first episode.
They, there's this timekeeper and he comes and he's like, I've chosen you guys.
There's this villain.
He's going to destroy the world.
And well, you don't really matter to the timeline.
You haven't really contributed anything.
And so they're like, wow, we didn't really do anything in our life.
And so it doesn't matter if we're going to be traveling through time to get this villain
to save the world.
But then it's like throughout the seasons, they realize everything that's in them.
And they're just like, we may be just a person, but we did that.
Okay.
So we can do this again and we're going to, we're going to get them.
And so they were able to see like the potential they had.
And so I just, I, every time I watch the show and then, and they'll say things, I'm like,
yeah, that's right.
And you know, it's really very similar to how we feel or, you know, if we have like
this fixed mindset, like, well, all I know is this, but it's somewhat of the gross mindset.
You're like, okay, I may know this, but I can learn this.
And so I just love that how they're able to see there's so much more in them.
It's huge.
And so with what lens do we watch or consume the content that we're consuming?
Right.
You can watch a movie that is, Adam Sandler is a great example of that.
Like he's got all these comedic, like Mike movies that are supposed to be just funny,
but there's almost always a moral of the story and a lesson in there.
And there's plenty of people who probably never even see that.
But like big daddy has all the feels and all the heart to it.
And so we get out of an experience and a story, what we want to get out of it oftentimes or
what oftentimes what we need.
So that's really neat.
What's your third resource?
It's a book by Mark Manson.
I believe it is.
It's, it's a big Hanson.
Yes.
And so I have to like beep out the last word, but it's the subtle art of not giving a beep.
And what, you know, the main point, I mean, there's so much in there, but the main point
is caring about what matters.
What are your priorities?
What are you wanting to achieve and everything else?
Just don't give a beep.
So it's really good.
Helps you to stay in your own lane and not comparing and not like, you know, jealousy
or I don't have that or whatever it may be.
Just like have your vision, go after what matters most for you, your family, your, you
know, wherever your lane is and just, you know, go in that lane.
So I really enjoyed it.
Well not that Mark Manson would care, but I guess I owe him a little bit of apology
because I stole his thunder with Mark Victor Hanson.
But as you said, he's going to have that subtle art capability of, of not worrying about that.
Both fantastic authors, I'm sure.
And with that, we'll be coming right back, we'll be diving into Rachel Marie Porter's
vision as a life coach and as a fellow visionary out there.
We'll see you on the other side, guys.
All right.
Welcome in to Vision Pros Live with Jackson Calame.
I'm your show host.
We'll be doing interviews for visionary entrepreneurs and guest leaders who are building fantastic
visions out there.
Hey what's up everybody?
Welcome into another episode of Vision Pros Live.
I'm your show host, Jackson Calame, founder and CEO of First Class Business.
I'm excited to have Rachel Marie Porter in the house.
She's from the 210, which is what we call San Antonio for those of you who are not local
to our area of the world.
And I got to meet her at a couple of different networking events.
Shout out to Chris, by the way, who runs the, oh man, San Antonio Business Professionals,
SBPA, I believe it's fully called.
Fantastic events every single month.
If you're in the area, definitely come and hang out with us and go support Chris and
the foundations that he always pulls together for those.
So shout out to him.
Not a sponsor today, but a resource.
And that's really what our sponsorships are all about too.
Resources that I've come across and just really appreciate it.
So number one is the Lost Spot with Melissa Gray.
Melissa Gray came on the show.
I almost canceled her episode because I just find most, I don't like to talk to attorneys.
They just drain you.
That was the opposite of the case with Melissa.
I'm really grateful I didn't cancel because she came in with this mindset.
The legal does not have to be complicated and this nurturing superpower that I don't
see very many lawyers have.
The Lost Spot's bridging the gap between the legal Zoom free resources that exist out there
that people tend to rush towards when we're starting things and that really, really expensive
retainer that you just don't know what you did and know what you're getting and you don't
really know why you're paying for the legal counsel.
She fits right in the middle of that in harmony.
And I highly recommend business owners out there take the chance to get to know her,
see what her program's all about and see what types of liabilities you may face.
Having been through a $20,000 trademark lawsuit myself that we won to protect the name that
we already had with Restaurant Connect, it didn't feel like winning when we lost $20,000
as a startup.
We could have done our due diligence.
So I hope that you do avoid situations like that for your own brands.
Then there's Andrew Sosin of Recovery Unplugged.
By the way, Melissa is a strategic partner and a client of ours.
So I always want people to know that there's some bias for sure from me on these different
entities we recommend.
Andrew Sosin was a guest as well.
He's not a client.
I just love his program.
There's a lot of people out there who struggle with different types of addictions.
Those could be obsessive and dramatic for your life, but they can also be very subtle.
My hope is that people who may wonder like, do I have an addiction or not?
Or does my son or daughter struggle with this?
Is my husband or wife?
Call the line.
Find out what type of advice these professionals would give you.
They used to only be located in four states.
They do have a team of over 400 people at the company.
With COVID, they were forced to close the locations for a time period and open an online
resource, which is actually one of the best blessings that could have happened for the
entire world.
So if you know somebody who's struggling with life, who tends to turn towards substances
for their source of strength rather than finding it from within, then our invitation is to
again give their hotline a call, give them a chance, see what they have.
They incorporate music into the experience of recovery in a way that I don't think is
appreciated as much as it should be.
That's just one musician speaking from my heart though.
So I hope this helps at least one of you out there.
Maybe it helps many of you and that's fantastic if so.
Lastly, before we bring Rachel on, of course, we're going to talk about the water project.
The reason why I choose the water project as my source of, hey, let's give back, let's
do more in the world.
I've never been without water.
I don't know what it's like to not know where I'm going to get my next drink of water, but
there's millions of people out there who don't have the privilege of knowing that.
Their kids are leaving school, literally sent by the school to go get water for the community
or the parents have to leave work in order to go get water.
The water that they get isn't necessarily safe.
Again, my kids don't have to go through that.
I don't have to go through that.
My hope is that you look into the water project and see what this program is doing.
I have no affiliation again, but the water project does transparently showcase where
you're contributing to.
You get to see how many people are affected.
You get to see what they do with the project.
Even when you donate, you get to see the outcome of what actually happened for those people.
When I see kids celebrating water, like my kids celebrate Christmas Day, it tells me
that I'm putting my funding and my resources to the right initiative.
There's 8 billion people in this world to help, by the way.
If you know another initiative that means more to you or that you just want to share
in the comments, for us, it's not a competition.
It's just an opportunity to spread the love and do what we can to help.
It might be something, if you drop your charity of choice or cause of choice in the comments,
it might be something that I give directly to.
It might be something that I also promote on this show and let other people know about.
It just depends on how much it inspires me.
Whatever aligns in my heart and mind, I typically do.
That's how I go about making my decisions.
So for whatever that's worth, enjoy it.
Rachel Marie Porter, thank you so much for joining me on Vision Pros Live.
I can't wait to dive in.
Yeah.
Thank you again for having me.
I mean, you mentioned we met at some events and you just have very personal and friendly
demeanors, so I'm glad to be here.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
So I'm going to, instead of blushing, I'm going to move right in.
What is your vision for the people that you serve, Rachel?
The hardest thing that I see in women is just knowing their worth and knowing their value.
I was speaking to a friend one time and she was going through some transitions and she
was like, kind of talk and then she kind of like stop and pull away.
And then I asked her a question, I said, how do you feel about that?
She said, I feel worthless.
And this is so common.
I'm not enough or I can't do it.
And if I could like, you know, like the soap boxes, I can stand up on there and like get
a microphone.
It would say you're born for a purpose.
There is a reason and there's value and there's this potential that hasn't even been discovered
yet.
If I could like share that, if I can help someone like believe that and own it, then
I just think how much more for themselves to be able to live this an abundant life,
because I believe in an abundant God.
I believe that he's created us to just do amazing things.
And if I could share that and encourage them that they could have that belief, that mindset,
then we would just live more fulfilling lives.
We'd be able to live life more abundantly.
And so that's what I would really, really love to just, you know, if I could bring that
home.
That's ready to stand innovation already for you.
I had a whole crowd here to be able to do that would be one of those talks where everybody
would constantly interrupt you with hand clapping.
So I love that.
And there are a lot of people who don't have access to that, you know, and don't don't
see the possibility of that.
You see it so clearly.
You talk about it as though it's here and now for everybody.
Before we dive deeper into that, what's your vision for you?
Vision for me, I want to I want to leave a legacy.
I have seven children and I have never guessed that you do not look like somebody who could
who was old enough to have seven children.
Good for you.
Thank you.
I'm so celebrating my 40th next month and I'm like, ah, I can't believe it.
But I'm I'm always covering those gray hairs.
And but yes, so and then I also have girls as well.
And I mean, just my girls and my boys, I want them to know that I left, you know, footprints
for them to even make larger footprints.
Like that's the vision.
So whatever, whatever capacity, whatever platform who, you know, one or two thousand or just
the small moments or the big moments, I want them to matter.
You know, I it's I used to do this sometimes.
I do it here and there.
I'll actually put like a time on it.
I have a good time on it.
It's not a spreadsheet, but I'll write down, OK, from the moment I wake up, from the moment
I went to bed every few days and like, where's my time going to?
Like it's got to bring something kind of like you mentioned watching the DC Legends of Tomorrow.
Like when I'm watching something, I got to be getting something from it.
Now once in a while, you know, a good comedy is just good.
But I I've written down, you know, life messages for characters in a movie or a TV show.
You know, there's got to be something meaningful behind everything we do.
So leaving a legacy.
Huge.
Well, we've got billions and billions of options of hours that we could do stuff with.
And so it to me, it only makes sense to do what is most purposeful, you know, even if
it's sleep in the moment and a really, really great night's sleep, especially as parents,
we get this.
So diving into a dark subject.
And again, for those of you who don't know, we're going to be diving in about removing
roadblocks and life's journey in order to find happiness, unlock fulfillment and beyond.
And part of this part of all these questions are helping to do that in and of themselves.
So as we talk about the worst leadership experience ever, those are one of those opportunities
to realize like, man, maybe those are those are experiences where we can set roadblocks
so we never go down those paths.
But Rachel, what is the worst leadership experience you've ever had?
Yeah, I was at an establishment and I had just changed positions and, you know, at my
workplace and I'm like a go getter, try to go beyond, like do it well.
And my new manager said that he was quite rude.
And he was like, why didn't you get this done?
And I'm like, whoa, wait a minute.
I was thinking, first of all, I didn't even know it was a job.
So it's not like I could just find it and then do it.
I was never taught.
I was never asked.
And I've been here just for a few days.
And it was just I think of leadership as servant leadership, you know, and I felt like I just
wanted to crawl under a rock, you know.
So I think that that was probably my worst leadership experience.
Those are often common.
You talked about service oriented leadership and it's a challenge for companies when they
have management come in that forgets to serve the team they're supposed to be managing.
And it sounds like he didn't quite have that or he or she didn't have that capacity to
do so.
Yeah, I tried as with much humility, but also confidence in myself, like I'm a good worker
here, you know.
I said, well, I can't do it if I've never been told.
So if you want me to do it, show me what I need to do.
And I'm more than welcome to do it and more than happy to do it.
So he actually I think he was already a manager that wasn't just like that with me, but with
others.
And for some reason, I think he, I don't know, respected me a little bit more because I wasn't
going to be bullied.
So he was a little bit more gentle after that.
So, you know, I just spoke truth, you know, but in a unique manner.
You did.
That's something that Chris Voss teaches and never split the difference to negotiation
book.
And it talks about doing exactly what you did to create clarity for managers who have
a hard time seeing the reality of what you're going through by just reflecting back to them.
Okay.
So then I can see you want me to make those 400 copies within the next five minutes.
Correct.
And the copy machines on floor three, you know, not sure if they'll be ready in time
for the meeting, right?
You don't even need to usually plant that seed.
They just have to pick it up as you regurgitate back to them.
Like how absurd the task assignment is.
So well done for bridging the gap for us a little bit and highlighting again.
Let's not come at people like that.
Oh, let's have a little bit more wisdom.
So what is the best leadership experience that you've ever had?
So it's interesting.
It's actually that same place before I had changed the positions because it was a different
manager because he headed another area and he, I came in and he, he spoke to me shortly
after as if I was a manager.
What are your thoughts on that?
And should we do this?
And always you did great there.
Thank you so much.
Even at one point I said, I could, I could see you in this leadership role.
He spoke to me as if I was already in that position.
So I acted as if I was in that position, seeing whatever I could do that would add value in
other ways.
And so that, that's the volumes to me.
Just being a leader, you know, kind of like I do with my children, you know, sometimes
they may think they're kind of lower in the area and I'm speaking on what I see them,
you know, where they're going to become.
Cause that's, they're going to think that they're going to believe that.
And so they're going to walk into that.
So he just definitely spoke that potential.
So yeah, that's huge.
For those of you who want to follow up on like how to incorporate that into your life,
I would recommend looking up YouTube videos on ownership mentality.
Cause it sounds like he had that.
He had that ownership mentality for the role, the bigger vision.
He was helping you grab that ownership mentality as well and take ownership of the processes.
It's also called vision painting.
So when we learn to vision paint forward, like what's, what's over the hill, it often
is what is necessary to inspire people, especially ones who are motivated by, by outcomes, by
recognition or by, by progress.
That can be very important and helpful to inspire people forward.
So fantastic example.
If this were the last chance that you had to share a powerful lesson with others, what
powerful lesson kind of their visionaries learned from your experience?
Embrace the difficulties in life.
Don't run from them.
Don't be afraid of them, but actually make friends with them head on.
I really love, I, I read years ago.
About the Eagles are like the only bird that will actually seek out a storm.
And then they allow the turbulence to bring them, raise them even higher.
And then they have like this better vision of everything beneath them.
And it's, it's kind of like that same way.
Those difficulties, those storms in life, those fires that, you know, summer can be
more intense than others.
We actually, we gained so much wisdom, so much strength, so much empathy.
It's part of the humanity experience and it actually works for us, not against us.
That's huge.
Embracing the difficulties and use the Eagle analogy, which I hadn't heard.
And that's amazing.
That's super helpful.
I had a friend, a mentor of mine, not too long ago, maybe within two months time, it
was evaluating my life.
And he said, Jackson, either bison or the, or the cow.
And apparently cows run from a storm.
And so they prolong the nature of being in the storm and the bison turns and heads straight
into it.
This is, screw it.
I'm just going to hit this and get to the other side as fast as I can.
And I was like, where's Jimmy?
He's like, you've been, you've been the cow lately.
And I was like, okay, that's fair.
Let's talk about that.
And it's helpful to recognize like, man, are we putting ourselves through the wringer?
And talking to you as a life coach, I'm curious, how do you go about removing roadblocks?
I guess what types of people do you find yourself working with most commonly?
And then how do we move them beyond the roadblock to the happiness and fulfillment or is it
all simultaneous?
How much let you go for five minutes or so?
Okay.
Yeah.
So one of the things I don't necessarily agree on is all the affirmations.
They're great, but if you have a like fragmented sense of self, they're kind of like those sticky
notes that you put on the table and they just fall off.
Now if you have a good sense of self, if you have this identity that is strong and that
you believe in yourself, then those positive affirmations are kind of like the cherry on
top.
And that's where I feel like the most I deal with is our identity.
And it was, I believe it was Dr. Saul, I think it's, oh, it begins with an L, but I remember
reading and he said that any major life crisis, any major milestones, so it could be a move,
it could be a graduation, it could be illness, it could be loss, any of those things we come
into in a way of, okay, who am I?
So it's not just a midlife crisis.
It can be at any point in our life and it's like this whole, okay, well, who am I?
What do I want?
And then we have to realize what are we going to do with that?
So a lot of it is belief in ourself and helping women kind of transition through that.
I love that.
I love that you didn't attack affirmations.
You pointed out that it can be a, it can have a reverse effect on us.
And that is so true of all good substances in life.
My stepdad just throw salt on everything, like, you know, to the offense of any chef, right?
He's all about the salt, right?
And we're always taught like, eat less salt, eat less salt, eat less salt.
Well, that's four and 30 years ago as the doctor get tested, he has a salt deficiency,
a sodium deficiency.
So we've been making fun of him his whole life, you know, like saying, don't put salt
in everything, you're going to hurt your, he needed it.
It was his body telling him, I have to have this.
And so with the affirmations too, yeah, we can also very much put ourselves in a position
to where we manipulate what happiness is.
And we start, you know, we're faking it until we make it.
But we're not actually in tune with the feeling, but we can't hear it.
We don't want to hear it.
We want to push everybody away who's trying to help us see it because we're just so dialed
into that one mechanism or framework.
So how do you, how do you as a coach help people let go of the shiny object?
They say a raccoon will hold on to an object, you know, and not let go.
They, you know, it'll die red firm grows.
Thank you for teaching me that, you know.
But how do you get people to consider a new way of looking at life?
We have to reframe, we have to reframe our experiences and a lot of what we think of
ourselves or who we are or what we even want to do is past experiences.
It's childhood, it's friends in school, it's sometimes our intimate relationships.
And so when we see it as one thing, we have to reframe the situation.
Okay, so how, how can I look at this a little differently?
So when we reframe those thoughts to same thing, right?
So we're not, we're not changing the situation.
We're not saying, oh, I'm good when actually, no, I don't feel good.
But how can I see it where it is for my good?
How can I see this differently?
So it's reframing those thoughts that changes the way we kind of see life differently.
I love that.
I'm going to write on here, reframing versus boundaries.
And we're going to talk about a difficult subject.
It's kind of easy, it's easier to know what to do, and the words are super common, like
the advice super common around if you got an abusive spouse, right?
You know, you got to set some healthy boundaries and all that.
But let's shift the gears here.
Let's say a single mom has a 12 year old child son who's rebellious, abusive in nature, you
know, to mom, you know, you don't divorce the child, I don't think, you know, but, but
when you're dealing with a scenario where you've got a relationship that matters tremendously
to you, again, let's keep that mother and son relationship as the pinnacle of this,
there's reframing to be had.
And there's also this sense of like, I can't just abandon, you know, my parenting responsibility.
I'm not here to ask you, what do you do?
Like you have the magic bullet or solution for it much more.
What are the person's options to think through?
Where, where, what, what types of actions, thoughts, strategies might they gravitate
towards to know what to do in a scenario that's that sticky, but that risky as well?
Yeah.
First is not take it personally.
Like I'm a bad mom.
What did I do?
What went wrong?
Is probably, I would say the biggest one, like when we see ourselves, when a lot of
times we find that the situations that come towards us, okay, what did I do to, to receive
this?
Did I do something wrong in my past life for some, or, you know, what it may be.
So I would say that's the first, don't take it personally.
And then thing you would have to, it would have to be, you know, depending on the age,
the child, there is a way to love with a distance.
And that's actually showing love as well, not enabling, it's actually loving your child
to teach them how to love for them.
You wouldn't want someone else to treat them that way.
And you're not going to allow it yourself.
So you're teaching him how to love oneself.
You're teaching how to love another one.
So yeah, there's not a, like you said, a ABC because there are different, different ages.
So the how to's, but I would definitely say don't take it personally.
And it's okay for those boundaries because you are loving your child.
You are loving yourself.
You are teaching love.
And that's exactly what we need.
I believe our bloodline, our existence is to love.
So yeah.
I agree with that.
And I, you know, to me, it also, there's this humility of asking for help that so many people
struggle to feel like they have to do it themselves.
You know, this is where a life coach comes in and this is where recovery and plugged
as an organization.
Like it doesn't have to be, it can be better help.
It can be a therapy.
There's a lot of different resources we can turn to that allow us to have other people
steer the ship with us.
You know, so we're not just trying to do everything by ourselves.
You know, I was thinking, why does this come up for me?
Well, I'm in the middle of a movie called 187 with Samuel L. Jackson.
And in the scene that I ended on before I went, I crashed and went to bed.
This mom's gangster son is completely taking advantage of his opportunity to stay at home.
And it's causing his sister, like his mom yells at him, like that money was for your
sister to eat, not for your alcohol.
And I was like, man, that's a scenario I've never had to be in in life.
What a difficult challenge for a mom to have to go through.
So we talked about reframing, you know, let's talk about boundaries a little bit.
So if you were counseling or coaching somebody through that, what types of boundaries do
you think they could set or where could they learn more about the boundaries they might
need for such a scenario?
So it's interesting.
So I've been in a situation where I've had to put boundaries.
And so I think I mentioned earlier, I'm a woman of faith.
So I believe in God.
And so I read his word and like, OK, you know, I want to gain wisdom.
You feel free to be open about that.
I'm not a woman of God.
I definitely have my relationship with God.
Yes, yes.
And so one of the things is, OK, well, Jesus, if we're to like following your footsteps,
what does that look like?
And there are times where he spoke up, like he was just like playing out this is not going
to happen.
And then there are times where he went and he prayed.
And then there were times where, I mean, he just left, you know, and he just left.
And I think having, you know, for some may not believe in a higher power, you're going
to have to go by your gut instinct.
And then for some of my faith that I'm going to pray, Holy Spirit, I don't know what to
do next.
But there are there are situations where you just cut it off.
There are some where you say, OK, I will allow this if you continue.
This this is not going to happen anymore.
But of course, it's a case by case situation.
But setting boundaries is it's it's difficult.
Yet at the same time, I have seen the peace and I've actually seen fruits that have come
from me setting boundaries and other people that I've known that have learned to set on
boundaries.
There's not I mean, there's this confidence in oneself.
There's there's life.
You are living when you set a boundary like every single one of us.
We live, we breathe.
Like I tell my kids, I don't doesn't matter what you make in school, which they actually
do really good.
But but how you treat and respect another person and how you treat and respect yourself
like that's the most successful thing you can do is like cherish life itself.
So setting boundaries is exactly what it does.
It's saying this is too valuable and I'm going to protect it, whatever it may be.
Absolutely.
And you know, I I got this little memo here.
In fact, I'm going to change it.
I'm just going to put parenthood because if it's OK, I'd like to spend some time on this.
It's one of those subjects that is not talked about enough and business world, leadership
world.
Most of us want to when we're networking, escape a little bit, have that battery and
it's time to let go of the parenting.
But we we don't have a whole lot of shared resources out there.
And maybe that's just migrants as a father diving into those conversations enough because
of our our bad habits as men.
But when it comes to boundaries and kids, you brought up that you're not trying to control
your child's outcome and they're doing well.
Right.
You know, it's like, oh, wait a second.
Maybe one plus one is to, you know, maybe if we let go a little bit, stop pressuring
them so much, allow them the space to create and to make mistakes and to learn as they
go, respect them in the process.
Maybe there are great outcomes that can come from that.
So boundaries come in the form of setting ours, right, where we say, hey, you know,
I don't want to engage with somebody who yells at me.
But also in terms of recognizing other people's boundaries, whether they whether they tell
you that's the boundary or not, and then making like being respectful of that reality.
So how can parents go about improving their relationships by understanding boundaries
with their kids?
Yeah, see them as you nailed the big secrets.
You talked about her.
So I got to throw that out there.
I do.
I asked for I do ask for a lot of wisdom, you know, situations and like, I just don't
know what to do or I'm really tired or as I asked for wisdom a lot.
I don't think I know everything and I asked, you know, I asked for help around with other
people and I read the sources.
But I'm like, OK, God, you say you're the one of truth.
Then if I ask, then I shall receive if it's something that is good.
So I do.
I pray a lot, ask for wisdom a lot.
I see my children as a person, not a child, and I think that changes a lot, meaning I
say for OK, a child makes a mistake and I'm like, OK, well, I can name all my mistakes.
Why?
Why do you think that happened?
What was going on?
So it's kind of like instead of like being so focused on like the external, let's get
more focused on the eternal.
Like were you sad?
Were you tired?
Did someone say something that hurts you?
Are you just here?
I hear a parent listening right now.
They're going they're going, but like like it's going to like, no, like they missed out.
But that's it.
They are.
They're people like us.
We make mistakes as soon as we get in the same boat as our children.
Now, yes, I believe it.
We have to teach them and train them in their times where they get consequences.
But if we see them as another person that will make mistakes, we're going to be the
one when they say, oh, I made that mistake.
I need help.
Right.
And we want to get into that.
It's all here.
It's always here because whatever we're thinking, whatever we're feeling, that's where it actually
do parents feel the need to fix it.
Well, what is it that drives them to be that one who just cannot listen to you?
You know, it's like, no, like we're going to have to fix this.
I do not want them to make the same mistakes that I did.
Never mind.
Go ahead.
What?
Sometimes I think it can be our own ego.
We don't want to be seen as a bad parent.
And if we would just have more of the humility, like we're not going to be the best parent.
But if we're a parent that loves their child, that's what that's what counts.
That's what matters.
Where does that come from?
If somebody doesn't want to be seen, you know, as a bad parent, our own insecurities are
our own pride, maybe our own parents are bad parents.
And so like, well, I'm going to be a better parent.
So I find that the more humble we become with any relationship, the better the relationship.
If it's a marriage or dating, a coworker, parent, child, the more humility we have,
the better relationship that is.
Mic drop.
Humble mic drop.
We'll set it down softly.
That was awesome.
Okay.
So what's a life coach to you, Rachel, a reporter, someone who just pulls it out and says, it's
in there.
Let me, let me get in there.
You may not know what's in there, but can I help you pull it out, help you discover
like what it is so that like these dreams or goals, like even small goals, sometimes
even the small goals I think we get afraid to do, right?
Like I'm not going to be able to make it happen.
You know, like our relationships, like, you know, why am I still dating this way?
Well, let's figure it out.
I want to pull out everything that I believe God gave to us, which is, I think, I don't
know.
I just think it's really abundant and it really wasn't until the last few years that I was
like, I mean, I like kind of knew maybe didn't know.
And then I knew it a lot more.
And I'm like, oh, I love this.
I love this feeling like knowing.
I mean, I can say it for others, but then like when you get a hold of something for
yourself, then you're like, wait a second.
I want to, it's kind of like Oprah.
Here's one for you here for one for you.
And so it's kind of like, I just want everybody to have it.
So life coach is definitely one that pulls it out of you so that you can live like the,
like you can live the best life difficulties in there.
Yes, but you can live it so abundantly through those roller coasters.
Absolutely.
There's a Ted talk, just watched it.
Can't believe in a Ted talk.
He says, like living life moment by moment, right?
Is really how you can unlock that, that happiness and you know, that you're going to have bad
moments and then you have the moment right after where you get to choose how you see
the bad moment.
And I was like, it's really, it was really profound, very interesting, old wise man that
shared that I'll have to try to get that in the show notes on that same token though.
Those who are maybe looking for a life coach or maybe aren't looking for a life coach.
There's so many layers and realms to that.
You talk about pulling it out of somebody.
There's the typical client, the person you run into on an everyday basis.
And then there's what I would call the ideal client, the person who's kind of like warmed
up ready, knows they, they need what you're after.
You know, maybe that's not the case.
You love the fight of diving in and like, like that principal who goes to the worst
schools, you know, and it's like, no, no, no, I need to be there.
All right.
I'm going after that.
What do you consider your ideal client?
Yeah.
You know, I mentioned earlier, like the underdogs, I, as a, as a child, I was, my mom told me,
she was like, they loved you on that bus.
You were like the, the bus monitor.
And I'm the one who wants to stand up for like the bullies.
I want to stand up for the ones who don't think they have enough.
I want to stand up for, I guess, humanity itself, but the ones that don't want to say
you want to stand up for the bullies or stand up against the bullies.
Okay.
No, I was like, cool.
I mean, maybe you have this Miyagi effect of transforming.
No, no.
So yeah, like the ones that probably, you know, it was interesting.
I was speaking to someone and we were talking about some coaching and she was like, you
know, I, she was going through a difficult time.
I had, I had met with her and I was like, well, I'd love to work with you.
And, and she, you know, she was saying, well, I read every book and I, what was it?
I read every book and I do all the self-help and she just kind of like said this.
And I actually found her, I think it was a networking event.
So I found her Facebook thing and, but then she was posting how difficult life was, how
hard it was.
And she was going through a hard time and I'm thinking sometimes we just, we don't want
to receive the help.
Right.
And so I want those that it really comes down to, I don't know.
I want, I want the ones that they just don't think they can do it.
And I want to be like, Hey, you can do it and you can do even better than what you think.
Right.
I don't want the ones who think they have it all together and if they may be looking
for a coach to get better because I mean, again, it just comes down to humility.
Humility actually breeds, we can get confidence from having humility.
It seems like it's upside down thing, but it really is the, I feel like the more I'm
like, Oh, Rachel, you know, I actually become like, Oh, Rachel, you know, there's something
with it.
I understood so much from what you said, just by that tone that you gave, it's, it's a powerful,
helpful resource.
That's good.
It's and, and that's, I mean, we live in a, in a society during a time when the definition
of humility has fallen apart, that the addiction definition, if you look it up on Google right
now, usually mentions a sense of low self-esteem.
That's not humility.
That's not humility, but that's exactly what we hear in people, right?
And you hear people say, if somebody says, you know, Oh, well, I'm just, you know, I'm
good, but I'm probably not as good as they are.
I'm like, that's a self-deprecation.
They're trying to be humble, right?
Or, you know, like, Oh, you know, I really shouldn't be the one on this stage.
You know, it's like, what, like, where's the appreciation for self?
And that's exactly what humility is from an older perspective.
You look back at Aramaic and Judaism, it's a full appreciation of oneself without aggrandizing
it.
How do you say that?
Aggrandize, making yourself bigger.
That's the word somewhere out there, right?
Than than others, recognizing that you can fully appreciate them too.
So that's neat that you, you can on that, that sentiment and it sounds like you like
to help people who are kind of maybe not ignorant to humility, but they're not able to tap into
it yet.
And, or, you know, or even the substance of confidence and power they should have.
What are your thoughts on that?
And feel free to also just dive into some of these, you know, we got Instagram pulled
up, you know, regarding our brand.
Yes, yes, yes.
Some other elements.
Oh yeah.
You know, it's, a lot of those women on my Instagram, I would say are women that have
humility and their confidence is definitely building.
It's really neat to see each step that they kind of get something, they're a little bit
more inspired, a little bit more hopeful and you see them take the next step.
So yeah, it's, it's incredible when not just, of course, I work with women only, but as
a community, when we start to kind of have that humility, but also that confidence with
one another, we, we kind of like build each other up and we like, we can do so much more
for not only just our, our small community, but outside of our, our city.
Super helpful.
Absolutely.
And, and you know, it's like they say a bundle of sticks is stronger than one, you know,
and so bringing people together definitely helps with the process.
And that's also the benefit of one-on-one coaching and one-to-many coaching, you know,
and group coaching, mastermind and retreats.
There's a lot of ways that we can go about with the, with the phrase of iron sharpens
iron, iron, you know, it's, there's a lot of ways to do that.
We, you know, I will go back to our, both of our secret power per, it's one of the best
ways to know what to do.
So those of you who are listening in, there's going to be action steps below this show.
The action steps will be the links for how to connect to Rachel Marie Porter, how to
find out about her coaching services as well.
And if you have any thoughts as well on removing roadblocks, life's journey and happiness and
fulfillment and how to go about achieving those or questions, don't hesitate to drop
those in the comments.
If you've appreciated today's show, then of course we'd love to see you subscribe, you
know, and comment and help spread the word for us.
Other people who could be affected by this.
My last invitation for you is if you have a vision of your own, there's a button in
the top right corner that says, be our guest.
We'd love to host you as a guest.
You do not have to be the, you know, who is it right now?
The, you don't have to be Ant Man, you know, crushing it in the playoffs.
You don't have to be Carl Anthony Towns, you know, his right hand man.
They're probably going to win the championship right now.
You could be John Doe with a very local desire to contribute.
And that vision is important to us because if that gets in the hands of all sorts of
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So don't hesitate to apply and be on our show.
And of course, if you're in the middle of the playoffs and you want to be on my show,
then of course we'd be happy to have any of you all star athletes as well.
Any final thoughts, Rachel Marie, before we finish?
I had a great time talking with you.
It's been really good.
I, it's, you always get kind of nervous, you know, just, you know, what am I going to say?
But then I get really excited.
And so I love, you know, you're here and just bringing people together and I love that I
can just share.
So, Lindsay, thank you for having me.
I appreciate it.
Absolutely.
Vision Pros, we also love serving you too.
We can't wait to see you in the next episode and everybody have a fantastic rest of your
day.
Thank you for being here today.
I'm really happy that you tuned in to Vision Pros Live.
I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions as these episodes continue to move forward.
This is going to get more and more fun.
We'll have more and more engagement as well.
We'll invite people to participate in the show and thank you for giving us your time
and attention.
Have an excellent time building our.