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around here. Okay, awesome. Well, let's dive right in. So what are what are three resources,

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three books you recommend for visionaries? Well, I can only tell you what I've read.

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My very first book I wrote, I really dove into was Think and Grow It by Napoleon Hill.

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Started that when I was 13. I loved how to win friends and influence people.

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And also, I think the one of the latest there you go right there. The man, the myth, the legend,

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the man who started it all. I was blessed by having that opportunity, it really set my

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head in the right direction. And the third book, I think that is really powerful right now for,

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you know, in what I do is Automatic Habits by James Clear.

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Automatic Habits.

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Atomic Habits, excuse me.

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Oh, I was gonna say Automatic Habits.

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Atomic Habits, excuse me. Oh, I was gonna say that I was like,

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that's a new one. Yeah, rendition number two.

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Yeah. And it should become Automatic Habits. That's really what your result and your end goal is to

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make them automatic. Right. Maybe I could write a book on that. That'd be funny.

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True. For sure. There's a lot of paper out there. I'm sure you could easily get started on that.

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Awesome. Before we dive into the break, I love to know from your side of things,

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as we talk about controlling your emotions and mastering your life, what's one of the first

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secrets that people can be paying attention to? You know, recently I started on this new program

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and it was really about writing this book. And this is the one I'm finishing this year,

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Control Your Emotions, Master Your Life. And it really comes down to three things. And the

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word that really hit me from an NLP perspective, Neurolinguistic Programming, was the ability to

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act, to take action. And I thought, oh, that's a great acronym for, A is for awareness,

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C is for control, understanding what it is and how you move through your environment,

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and T is for tasks, exercises, creating good habits, as we were just talking about. So

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to answer your question really is becoming about aware. Where are you?

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You know, one of the first questions I ask my clients is real simple. I say,

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if I was your travel agent, what would be the first question I'd ask you? Where do you want to go?

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I know where you want to go.

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Right. So with that in mind, we also need to know where you're starting from.

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With those two points and destination, then we can create a vehicle to get you there,

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whatever that is for people. Sometimes it's therapy, sometimes it's coaching,

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sometimes it's learning, as simple as learning to get out of your own way by reading a great book.

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Absolutely. Very good. Well, with that acronym, we'll cut to the break. We'll be right back and

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we'll dive in deep into Dr. John James Santangelo's vision.

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All right. Welcome in to Vision Pros Live. With Jackson Calame, I'm your show host.

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We'll be doing interviews for visionary entrepreneurs and guest leaders who are

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building fantastic visions out there. Hey, what's up, everybody? Welcome into another episode of

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Vision Pros Live. I'm your show host, Jackson Calame, founder and CEO of First Class Business.

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I'm excited to have Dr. John James Santangelo on today from the lovely city of Los Angeles or

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traffic-polluted, super busy. Just kidding. I love LA. I wish I could be over in California more

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often. We're talking about controlling your emotions, mastering your life, and his perspective

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from the Neuro-Linguistic Programming Angle, NLP, as it's often called. I like to toy with the idea

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of the mumbo jumbo, as Val Kilmer says in The Saint. I really really enjoy the idea of the

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mumbo jumbo, as Val Kilmer says in The Saint. I really really do love personal development and

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how to dive into different aspects of our brain, our heart, our mind, etc. So while I don't pretend

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to know what I don't know, I love to meet people who have studied this information out at length

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because it oftentimes gives me one, two, or three new nuggets that I can utilize to maximize how

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I can manage my life. If you want to get a better understanding of what I talk about,

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you can always go to the website, and take a look at the information that's already there.

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We'll get him back on in just a minute. Before we do though, I want to highlight some of our

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sponsors. We've got the Wellness Shop 365 with Sean LaChuga. When I met Sean, I really was looking

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at this website, and I knew that the website needed a lot of work. But Integrative Health and

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a health specialist who's not, who's diving into a territory such as joy, spirituality,

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creativity, home environment, relationships. The depth that I've seen from Sean made me

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say, man, I really want to support this vision. I want to see where he's going to take this.

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So without further ado, we'll move on to Melissa Gray. You guys can always check that out.

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We'll have a link for Sean and his program in the show notes. But Melissa Gray also came

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across our radar, ended up doing a show episode with us. And I was pretty nervous. I was like,

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man, I don't know if I want to put an attorney on my show. They can be kind of difficult

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sometimes. But here we found somebody who knows that law doesn't have to be complicated.

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She came on with a super nurturer feeling. She's got her strong foundation underneath

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her as well with her legal firm. And she's bridging the gap between the super accessible

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template version of attorneys through legal zoom, Crocodoc, legal shield programs like

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that. And what I would call the much higher riskier traditional retainers. As a business

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owner, it is super important that we protect our brands. That also means it's very important

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that we put ourselves in a position where we have somebody that can help us in the event

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that there's, you know, one of these real life circumstances comes up. If we look for

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that person last minute, supply and demand will not be in your favor. You'll need somebody

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quickly. You might spend way more than you were anticipating. Restaurant Connect, we

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spent $20,000 on a trademark lawsuit. And we won, you know, but did we? $20,000 is a

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lot of money to lose for a startup. So if you're in a position where you're not in

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need of legal, this would be the best time to reach out to somebody like Melissa, find

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out how she works, what she's up to, check out some of her webinars as well that can

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help educate you on some of the legal needs that you might be facing in the future. All

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without this fear of missing out that so many marketers are striving to leverage too often.

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Then there's the water project. I'm super grateful to have access to clean drinking

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water every single day. Right now I'm a little bit under the weather. When I say a little

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bit, a lot of it, I'm pulling myself out quite a lot to be here on the show today. But I

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think it's nothing like these poor kids and these families that there's millions of people

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in the world where if they had bronchitis like I do, or they had an illness, they'd

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have to walk three, four, five miles just to go find a source of water that may not

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even be safe to drink. And what they have to face with that, it's just something I'm

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super grateful that I don't. You can see that the way the water project set this up is kind

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of like crowdfunding, where you can see how many people in the village you're going to

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be able to help affect their lives, what project they're going to be working on, how they're

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going to sustain it. And you receive photo evidence and story evidence of exactly where

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your money went to, how they went about creating their project, and the generational impact

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that you can make on this is absolutely phenomenal. So if you're in a position to give back, fantastic.

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If you're not in a position to give back, my request would be to rock the mic just like

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I am, or rock the post. Just share the post. You never know who in your circle might be

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in a great position to help out. And there are 8 billion people in this world to help.

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So if there's another cause that you'd rather see us supporting right now, or that's near

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and dear to your heart, don't hesitate to drop that in the comments as well. I'll be

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happy to take a look at it and see what I can do to raise awareness and perhaps even

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contribute to what that is. So without further ado, Dr. John James Santangelo, welcome to

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Vision Pros Live. Let's dive right in.

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Hey buddy, good to be back. Absolutely. So as we dive in, we're going to hit the vision

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head on first, then we'll circle back to controlling your emotions, mastering your life, and some

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principles related to that. So first question's first, what is your vision for those that

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you serve? Oh, good question. So recently, it's interesting how life changes, takes you

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on a different path sometimes. I got married recently, 5 years ago, and my wife happens

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to work in the hospital. She's one of the head respiratory therapists in the COVID unit

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there, at least it was years ago when it shut down. Now we're clean. But one of the things

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she told me that was really interesting, what she does as a therapist, if your listeners

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don't really understand what an RT is, a respiratory therapist is, they're the ones that basically

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keep you alive. They put you on the vent, run you oxygen. That's the wonderful side

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of her job. And here's the challenging side of her job. She's the one that also has to

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pull the plug when the family says, okay, time's been enough. She'll stand around with

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the family, hold hands as she pulls the plug or pulls the vent out, shuts the machine off

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and watches this person slip away to heaven or be unknown, wherever you want to believe.

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And one of the things that was really interesting that she said to me, kind of rocked my world

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coming around to your question was, one of the things that people have on their deathbed,

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but one of the things that they truly aspire to have or have had or created, however you

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want to call it, are great memories of their life. I heard a wonderful quote recently,

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it said, what is life? What is success to you? And this wonderful quote really said,

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it's enjoying the passage of time. And I thought, wow, that encapsulates who we are and what

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we do here on this planet. That's it. You hope in your life that you enjoy the moments

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that you create and you create them. You create them. Traffic doesn't create them. Problems

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don't create them. Your parents don't create them. You're responsible for every single

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moment of time that passes. I love this quote by Wayne Dyer. He says, it's taking responsibility

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for your life. Taking responsibility says responding with ability. That's so powerful.

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That's cool.

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Responding with ability, as we were talking about before, is becoming aware. First is

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awareness. Do I want to change? Where am I at? I mean, if you know anything about AA

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or you're a drug addict, you've been in some kind of rehab, you understand that's the first

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priority of success in any program is discovering who you are and where you stand in the world

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right now, which is also your identity, right? And then moving from there. So my vision with

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that in mind is I want to work with committed, and I underline that word, committed individuals

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that want to step out of their comfort zone and really live that life of passion and joy,

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because we all have the possibility of doing that. But how many truly do? That's the challenge

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in life, really. You have the opportunity, but very few of us are willing to take it

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and to create those amazing memories, because that's all you have to think about today.

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One of my original NLP coaches said to me, hey, John, when you wake up in the morning

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and you first open your eyes and you know that you're alive and you're aware, how do

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you know to be you? I'm like, what? Well, that's just really, that's too deep. How do

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you know to be you? That's a profound question. And when I ask it in my NLP training, so maybe

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we have hundreds of people working, there are people who really understand the ramification

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of this question. How do you know to be you? And the answer is memories. That's it. That's

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it. That's it. Your past, which lies behind you, is only based upon the memories you have

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of who you are and what you're all about and what you've done. Think about the movie, Jason

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Borland.

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Or identity.

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Jason Borland.

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That's what I love that of.

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Right?

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Or identity.

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In the moment, you can remember your name, but you can't remember your past. How unfortunate

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is that? If we had to, this is one of the things my other coach says, imagine if you

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had to go and learn every single day about who you are and what you're doing. But here's

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the crazy part about this. Every single day, you can create a new identity. You can become

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more. You can have more. You can do more. And yet we're stuck in that what we call the

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98% of what we've done in the past. And they've done studies on this. 98% of your thinking

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are the same as yesterday and the same as 10 years ago and the same as pretty much probably

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when you were a teenager. 98% of your thinking is repeated daily. So how could you possibly

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step into that 2%? That unknown, if you're constantly relishing and some people actually

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dive into the quagmire of their past, not to say that all past is bad, but most people

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are always focusing on what doesn't work. How are you going to move forward if that's

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all your focus? Like driving your car. I say it's like driving your car in your rear view

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mirror, looking in your rear view mirror the whole time. Yeah. Some of it's nice, but most

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of it's gone. It's over with. And then when I get clients, like we do coaching clients

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with celebrities and athletes and millionaires, it's like, where are you starting from? What

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is it that you want to create? Most people have no idea. They know what they don't want.

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They know what they don't want. They don't know what they do want. And your brain is

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only designed for one thing. It only does one thing all day long. It moves you in the

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direction of your dominant thoughts. That's it. That's it. So what do you fill your mind

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with 51% of the time? If it's garbage, then that's where you're going to end up. If it's

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I can't do it, which are beliefs that come from our childhood, I can't do it. I don't

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have enough money. I'm not worthy. I'll never have a relationship, right? I can't do that

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business. That's too hard. I don't have the right skills. Then why wouldn't life, why

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wouldn't the universe, why wouldn't your unconscious mind, which runs 90% of us, give you anything

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other than that?

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Yeah. So these, you, you, you alluded to something that I want to hit transparently that you've

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alluded to professional athletes and celebrities that you help. Who? Where are these people?

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Well, I can't, I can't, that's, that's actually, I can't disclose information, but I'll tell

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you a really great story about that. That is really probably solidifies what I do and

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what I love to do. In the summer of 2001, I got a call from the U S army, just when

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I had started my business, my training company, and they said, look, we're working for, we're

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looking for an NLP trainer. I'm like, wow, okay, that's kind of cool. I says, can you

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put together a syllabus for us on a package? I go, yeah. So it took him about a week, gave

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them what they want. Didn't hear from him. This was like in may of that summer, nine

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11 that happened, September 11th, literally a month later after that, I got a call from

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the U S army counter intelligence team and said, we need you now more than ever. Can

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we fly you out? I said, absolutely. So the first week of December, I got to fly out to

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Fort Bragg, North Carolina and work with the top intelligence agents in the United States,

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teaching them NLP skills. You're going to love this for lie detection. They wanted to,

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because they had to do a lot of interrogation and they wanted to learn how people were lying.

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And I get that question all the time. As soon as they hear this story, well, how do I tell?

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There's eight signals and they're all different. We don't have enough time to go into it, but

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most of it is setting a baseline because most people understand when people are honest,

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they radiate this energy. But as soon as you ask them a question where they can't answer

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it or they don't know the answer or they're lying, especially their energy, their vibration

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changes, which then shows up in the body's physiology, right? And there's different ways,

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their eye patterns, their verbal stories, right? Their breathing rate, their, the skin

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color on their lips changed, their body changes. It's amazing what happens. One of the best

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testimonies I ever got from the chief that ran that section, he said, John, by far, one

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of the best trainings we've ever had here in the 40 years that I've been here. And so

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it's not just who you teach because it's irrelevant, whether it be a celebrity, a millionaire, army

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intelligence agents, are you open for it? And can you learn? Because there's never going

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to be one thing, not one thing. If you have a secret and go, Oh my God, I have the secret

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to life. There's many things. So are you open to learning? That's why podcasts like your

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Jackson are so wonderful. When you're interviewing different people, you get different perspectives.

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I said to you before, when I was learning NLP, I learned from five or six of the best

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instructors all over the world. Cause I didn't just want one perspective of someone. And

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I think that's, that's the key of doing anything, right? It's learning from different people.

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What NLP was based on was modeling, model success, do what somebody else is doing. I

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get this question all the time. I was in the fitness industry for 25 years. How do I lose

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weight? My God, losing weight is simple. It really is. Eat 10% less of what you eat now

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and you'll lose weight. Real simple. If you want to learn and you don't have a coach like

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me or Jackson teaching you or a podcast that you can listen to, go find somebody that's

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lost the weight. Go find somebody that's done the work. You want to make money? Don't go

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listen to your friend that keeps giving you advice on bad stock picks. Go find a millionaire

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or somebody that's living in the house or has the cars and the lifestyle that you want.

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You want a great relationship? Go find a couple that has a wonderful, loving, healthy relationship.

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Learn what they're doing. Success is not hard. It's one of the things Tony Robbins says,

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success leaves clues. Absolutely. I appreciate that your openness on the perspectives. I

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would love to have Malcolm Gladwell on this podcast as well. He wrote a phenomenal book.

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Just again, these perspectives. Malcolm Gladwell wrote a book called Talking With Strangers.

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In it, he says these eight tips that you talked about for detecting a liar are absolute bull

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crap. It doesn't actually lead us to understand who's lying and who's not. People have different

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physiological reactions to different scenarios based on a lot of what's in their path too.

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That's the point for all you listening and all you visionaries. I'm not here to say Malcolm's

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right. John's right. I'm here to say there's different perspectives that are out there.

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You as a visionary get to decide, do I want to navigate towards the oasis on the other

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side of the hill, the desert on the other side of the hill, the mountaintop on the other

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side of the hill. There's always options in life for where you go. Thank you for highlighting

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the perspective. Absolutely. Thank you. For you, John, what's your vision? Wow. Great

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question. What do you see for yourself 20 years from now, 20 days from now? Your call.

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From my perspective, like I said before, I just got married. It took me a long time to

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find an amazing person that worked for me. I've gone through many relationships probably

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like most people. They go through one after the other. Unfortunately, they take their

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old self with them to the new relationship until you become the kind of person that you

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want to have that that person loves and adores and wants to be in a healthy relationship.

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You're still going to find the same searching over and over again. That part of my life,

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I'd love to say that I've completed and we work on it every year, my wife and I. Every

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January 1st, we go to a wonderful hotel. We get all dressed up. We have brunch and we

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set our goals for the new year. To me, that's just everything. We're on the same page. We

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have the same vision for the future every single day. I put it up on the fridge when

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we're done with her goals and my goals. We talk about them every once in a while ago.

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How are you working on that? How are you working on this? My future for my business, which

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is what we're talking about for is really helping people. I want to condense everything

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down and I'm doing it into an app that they carry around with them because I think, and

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you already know this, one of the most powerful tools in the world is our cell phone. It really

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is. The app I'm creating is going to have different projects and all my books on there

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and different courses that people can attend, starting them from a simple email course that

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I'm going to pitch to you at the end, you guys that are listening. It's seven emails

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and you get one every other day and it gives you simple exercises that you can do to start

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progressing and moving forward. Again, if you're focusing on the past, nothing works.

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One of the things that I love, and we do a live training, as I was saying before, a live

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12 day NLP certification training. My vision is to drive traffic to people back to the

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core values of who they are and what they want, their identity, choosing, taking action,

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stepping out of their comfort zone. In fact, I was watching Tony Robbins the last couple

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days, he had a three day event and I think he had a couple million people on a Zoom call

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for three days with him. The power and the impact that he affects all over the world

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is absolutely mind boggling. But he started as an NLP trainer, just like me from the same

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people that I've worked with and he's a great marketer. He took that simple model of neuro

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linguistic programming and he put it into self development, which was probably the next

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level of success for a lot of people that you've even interviewed years ago. Most people

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just talk about it. Tony does it because he's got techniques and strategies and tasks and

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exercises. And for me, that's what I need. If you listeners, you need something to do

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rather than just talk about it. Like I can tell you how to get better. I can tell you

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how to change your life. There's plenty of podcasts and books and things out there. Have

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you ever been to one before and you go, oh my God, that's great information. Yes. And

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then the next day you're like, oh yeah, now what? Right? Because we understand one thing

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about the human brain. It's easy to comprehend what to do. It's hard to learn how to do it.

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To take action. And that's my vision for the people that want to come to me and want to

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learn. Right? I give them the process. I give them strategy. I call them mental recipes,

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simple mental recipes that you can do that can move you in the direction of whatever

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it is that you desire in life. Yeah. I would say the biggest difference I see in Tony is

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has nothing to do with NLP or his tactics or anything. He cares about people. Oh yeah.

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And most people miss the reality that he's done so much philanthropy. We talked about

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that before. I believe like what you're doing in your business now is what we're truly meant

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for. It's one of the things he talked about is community, right? You've got to share it.

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You just can't hoard all this information. You become a bigger person, a much enlightened

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person when you start sharing it with your community around you. Yeah, definitely. There's

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a lot of opportunity and I highlight that. I've seen a lot of people get on stage and

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promote the heck out of their service, their product without really connecting with an

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audience on the emotional level of like, again, who are we serving? Who is it that we're helping?

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It makes me cringe for the business owners because we have a 96% loss rate over 10 years

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as business owners. We have a 4% survival rate. And the only way we're going to adjust

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that is if we start really unpacking like, okay, what is it that people actually want

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from us? But that's an iterative process, right? Constantly discovering, constantly

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moving, constantly being willing to learn. Let's talk about your worst leadership experience

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ever. Let's say I'm going to do a dark top of this company. Let's give you yours. Yes,

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let's talk about my failures. That's right. Let's see it. Or it could be somebody else's

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that you've experienced with the goal and mindset, vision pros of we all have the opportunity

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to learn how does this apply to me? Yeah, absolutely. That's the, you know, I've heard

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that over and over again, is asking better questions of yourself, right? That gets you

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out of your stuck states and you've got to ask that question. One of the things that

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Richard Bandler, the developer of NLP said years ago, he goes, you can't, you cannot,

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it's impossible to move forward without failing. And there's a thousand quotes by different

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people because only, and here's the reason why, because a lot of people hear that and

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they go, oh, I don't want to fail. What does that mean? I don't get it. What am I? You

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can't take a step forward until you know where you've been. Cause you don't know if the direction

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you're moving forward is the right one because then every time will be the first step. And

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success is not a bunch of small incremental results you produce. Usually they're laden

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by massive failures in your past. And there's a, there's been plenty of studies about this

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too. In fact, I, who was I just listening to the other day? Brian Tracy, famous trainer.

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He always said, statistically speaking, most millionaires have failed 17 times in business

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in different businesses before they've succeeded. I got to ask, is there like a base beyond

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behind the stat? Like, is there an actual study? Because I don't know. I don't know.

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So people fail. Great question. And we can always just pick a number, right? I mean,

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you've failed three or four times and made it. That's great. Elon Musk says the same

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thing. You can't succeed without failing. He goes SpaceX didn't start from me just

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developing a plan and then hiring a bunch of engineers. We've blown up a lot of rockets.

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You know what I mean? Life is think about, and this is the analogy I use never, ever,

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ever, like you were just saying before, Jackson, never take somebody's perspective on anything,

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not even mine, because I only know my failures. I only know what works for me. But I'll give

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you an example. There's only three problems in life. Only three. Take a guess what they

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are. There's only three. I wouldn't dare. Money. Okay. Right. Now everything goes under

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that finances anything, right? Relationships, relationships, right? Especially the relationship

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you have with yourself. And which I think is probably the most important is your health.

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And Ali Allama made a great quote about this. He goes, most people work their entire life

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for making money and striving for success and then spend all that money trying to recover

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their health at the end of their life. I think that's so sad. Right. My grandfather, we said

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years ago, he goes, save 10% of your income and take care of your health. I didn't know

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what the hell he meant. I had no idea. You know, eight, 10 years old. What does that

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mean? Now I completely get it. Invest 10% of your income and take care of your body

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so you have the energy so you can live the kind of life that you want to live. But come

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back to your question. Those three problems, that's all there are in life. That's it. Money,

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relationships and health. Usually relationships in the beginning when you start forming relationships,

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usually at 12, 13 years old, you get in your first relationship. So coming to your question

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is how many of you have failed at a relationship before? Always. Yeah, sure. Right. I know

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there's actually a couple of people and my niece is one of them that found her first

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boyfriend and married and they have four kids and they're very happy. That's like ridiculously

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rare. Ridiculous. Then you find the first boyfriend or girlfriend and you get married

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and live happily ever after. That just doesn't happen. Well, 99.9% of us. I'm sure they do.

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I'm sure they have their challenges. There's people out there that, hey, most of us, we

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go through over and over and over again and we think, we think it's them. We point the

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finger and so it didn't work because of them. No, it didn't work because I believe you didn't

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choose the right person. And that comes back to awareness and accepting responsibility.

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In fact, I was married 10 years ago, my very first wife and it lasted 18 months and I knew

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it wasn't going to work. I knew literally the day we were getting married and I did

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it anyway. I don't know what, I could give you a thousand reasons, obligation, guilt,

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blame, shame, whatever that was. But I knew that when I made the decision to leave that

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relationship, it was the best thing in my life. Until this day, people still ask me

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what happened and I only say this. I go, it was my fault. It was my fault that relationship

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didn't work. I chose the wrong person. Simple as that. Congrats on learning and congrats

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on your five-year marriage too. That's exciting. I got to ask you again, what's your worst

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leadership experience ever, John?

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So coming back to that is because of those three things in life, most of it is not taking

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action. And for me, you can call it, we were talking about at the very beginning regret,

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looking back going, wow, I wish you would have done this. And the one thing, the one

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opportunity that I had, and I look back now and I kicked myself, was to do a live TV show.

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And I said, no. And the reason I said no, I could beat myself up now over it because

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I felt at that time, at that time, I wasn't ready. And a lot of people will say the same

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thing about opportunities that face them. I'm just not ready. But here's the real challenge.

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You're never ready. You're never ready ever. You just got to go for it. And you've got

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to learn, as we were just saying, you learn from the mistakes. And I look back now and

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go, wow, how much farther along would my business have been if I would have taken that opportunity,

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fallen on my butt and learn from it? Perfect example, you have interviewed people that

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probably are learning for the first time how to do podcasts. Right? Hopefully they learn

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going forward. Right? Every experience is something that you can put into your tool

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belt, as we call it. Yeah, absolutely. I've had some guests that get off the show and

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say, hey, man, I wasn't sure if I had the confidence to do this live. But I'm really

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grateful that I did. And I'm happy to hear that. You know, that people are able to put

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themselves out there, take this chance, knowing that I'm coming in, again, not as an endorsement,

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but as an interviewer that could make this process very difficult or hard with them at

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times. So it takes a lot of vulnerability. I appreciate you acknowledging that.

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No, dude, I know. I've done hundreds of these over years. And it's an art to be a great

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host. It really is. It's not just asking questions. It's also rebutting the question or rebutting

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the answer and really digging deeper into how your guest really replies and gives you

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the results that you want. Definitely. What's your best leadership experience? What does

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that look like? I touched on it a little bit. For me, there's nothing more powerful than

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watching someone right in front of me get that aha moment. As one of my instructors

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used to say, he goes, you get that steam that's coming out of your ears like, whoa, yes, I

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get it. Taking ownership of where they are. And the one thing that I love to do is I love

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to teach in person. That's why we do the live training still. I mean, COVID killed a lot

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of that, right? A lot of people went to Zoom. We still do live trainings. And I love it.

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Sitting in front of somebody and actually watching their body and their physiology and

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their language patterns change right in front of themselves as well as me. And one of the

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things I'll reiterate again, when I was teaching the US Army counterintelligence lie detection

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skills, one of the best compliments I got was this. One of the guys that I was working

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with said, we always pair up students together and say, practice this on someone right now

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in front of you so that when you go out into the real world, you already have that skill

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built in. And that's what you really want to do. Practice, practice, practice. And you

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can go back to Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods and so many athletes. Michael Jordan used

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to say, I practice in my head 45 minutes before every single game, how the game is going to

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go. Tiger Woods said the same thing. I just saw a football player just yesterday say that

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about one of the Super Bowl plays. He goes, we watch films and we pretend that this is

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how the game unravels. Practice, practice, practice. And I love seeing those faces right

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in front of me getting this information. So when one of the counterintelligence team members,

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he said, my God, John, when I was practicing on one of the other guys, I could tell he

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was lying because the hair was standing up on the back of his head. Now, I'm not going

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to get into, as you were just saying, there's ways that we can understand how people and

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how their body changes in that. And that's really what NLP is about, is understand the

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physiology and how the brain and body work together to produce results. And for me, to

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answer that question again is the best experience is to have it right in front of you. When

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somebody gets that aha moment. And you know this too, from doing what you do. It's like

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all the work that you've done, everything that you've practiced, everything that you've

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learned, all the failures, all the mistakes, all the successes come crashing into one another

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and go, this is what it was designed to do. This is why I'm here. This is why I've taken

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this path in life. And it gives you what we call an NLP evidence procedure. You have evidence

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that it's working and you're doing what you're meant to do.

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Absolutely. So if this was the last chance you had to share a powerful lesson with visionaries,

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what powerful lesson? You know, you were talking about business and business success before,

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and I don't know if any of your listeners have ever seen the show, The Prophet. It's

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with Marcus Lamonis and he goes in and he fixed small businesses. Every single one of

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them, every single business owner starts out with the problems that they have are always

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00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:57,520
outside of themselves. He talks about the three P's product, process, and people, product,

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00:35:57,520 --> 00:36:02,400
process and people. You need to fix all three of them to work for any business. But he says

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the biggest challenge is the people. And it's usually the CEO or the owner. And one thing

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I found working with a lot of companies like this too is, and I'm guilty of this as well

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00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:18,480
as a business owner. We want to control everything. We want to control every little aspect of

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our business. And it gets in our way rather than allowing somebody that's better. That's

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00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:27,800
one of the things thinking where Rich talks about in the book is delegating responsibility

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to other people and letting the best. In fact, that's whether you like them or not, it's

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one thing Donald Trump talks about. It's one of the Elon Musk talks about. Hire the best

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people, surround yourself with the best people. That's the key. You don't know everything

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and you can't know everything and you can't spend that much time knowing and learning

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and then executing everything. Right? So for me, the one thing that I, the one, literally

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the one thing, and that's why I'm writing this new book is learning about state management.

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Because here it is folks, life is only one thing. It's the decisions that you make. That's

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it. You make decisions that shapes your life. You make a decision, you move in this direction.

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You make a decision. Every decision then, its precursor is the emotional state you are

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in when you're making that decision. It's one of the things I ask class. I say, look,

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if you're in a negative, crappy, crumpy, icky state, are you going to make a positive decision?

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No, of course not. If you're in a positive, empowering state, are you going to make a

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more effective decision? Absolutely. Control your emotions, control and master your life.

420
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:53,840
It's that simple. State management. I can give you an exercise. Nice. Yeah, go ahead.

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Whenever you're in a negative state, and it doesn't matter what it is, you can label it

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however you choose. It could be just an icky state, I'm just in a pissed off state, I'm

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frustrated. Hey, I've worked with people that have wanted to commit suicide as well, taken

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to the extreme. You've got to change your emotional state. There's only one way that

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you can do that leading into this. You've got to take control of your body. Because

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your body from the amygdala is producing these negative and positive feelings. You've got

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to take control of the body. Because those are just meaningless emotions. Because what

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I'd say to you in one moment could trigger somebody else in another moment, the meaning

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that they place on it, the emotion they place on it. You've got to get that feeling out

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of your body. Here's how you do it. Whenever you're in a negative state, you've got to

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realize, again, awareness is, you've got to shake it off. That means stand up, move around,

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throw your shoulders back, take a huge deep breath. Maybe do it three times. Get that

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negative feeling out of your body and then immediately ask yourself this question, what

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do I want instead? What do I want instead? Because the unconscious mind runs 90% of you

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and it loves you so much, it wants to give you the answer. So if you ask a better question

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of yourself, what do I want instead? Maybe your unconscious mind will just answer, you

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00:39:18,240 --> 00:39:22,960
know what, maybe just calm and relaxation. Or you know what, maybe you need to take control

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00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:27,680
of the situation. Or hey, maybe you need to speak out, maybe you need to speak your heart,

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00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:32,760
speak your mind, communicate more effectively. When you're able to, in that emotional state,

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ask better questions, you can take responsibility and take action based on that specific result.

441
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:50,520
Okay. So one of the things that you mentioned earlier a couple of times, you said the word

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00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:57,160
we. So some of the things that we're still doing events in person. Who's we?

443
00:39:57,160 --> 00:40:03,280
Well, the people that I surround myself with, right? I've got a VA, my wife actually helps

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at some of the live events. I have a coach, actually I have probably three coaches that

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I work with that we're on the same page with. Because I believe that really, again, we talked

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about before about success. You can't do it on your own. Surround yourself with people

447
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:21,520
that are like-minded, have the same energy as you were just saying to one of your VAs

448
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:26,880
before, that have the same vision and are willing to be and stay committed to your project,

449
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to your vision. And one of the things I want to congratulate you on is your water project.

450
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Absolutely probably the most important thing in life, right? Is water and besides air.

451
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:40,320
Yeah. It's hard to argue against those. We're always going to have air. That's easy

452
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:47,480
for all. Water is not so easy. Yeah. No, absolutely. I appreciate that. And

453
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I'm grateful for what the water project's up to. I can't call it mine, but I know what

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you meant by that. I find myself doing that too. And I want to take ownership of the opportunity

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to give back. So it is a great one. You got a virtual assistant. You've got one to three

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coaches and then your wife, she's also involved in your operation in addition to working in

457
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the hospital. She's involved, but she helps when I ask, because she works at the hospital

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00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:20,800
15, 16 hour days, sometimes three, four days a week. She's very busy. But if I'm having

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a live event, she'll usually show up. She'll bring lunch for some of the students. She'll

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bring things I need. She'll sit in class. She'll answer questions if somebody has any

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questions. And that's supporting me. That's supporting me. I don't need her to be involved

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in doing the work. I need her supporting me emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually

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in that way.

464
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:49,000
Yeah, definitely. All right. So controlling emotions, mastering your life. What's something

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00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:54,260
else you want to share in relation to that process?

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One of the things that I get asked probably all the time, and even as a fitness trainer

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00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:06,320
30, 40 years ago, how do I start? Some people, even though they know how to lose weight,

468
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:11,560
eat right, exercise. It's not brain surgery. Although they need the push, they need the

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support, they need the little bit of information. And so one of the things I tell my clients

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and my coaching clients is this. The one thing that you have control over, the one thing

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that you have control over is your language. And it starts with the internal language,

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00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:34,160
how you talk to yourself. And in that seven email free lesson I'll be giving, I'll give

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you the URL in a moment. It starts off with obviously becoming aware is one of the things

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we were talking about. But here's the biggest challenge in life. If you're talking to yourself

475
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in a negative state most of the time, 95, maybe even 51% of the time, you're going to

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move in that direction. So here's three words, three simple words that you can change in

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00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:59,240
your everyday language, the word but, stop using the word but. It's called a negation.

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It negates everything that came before. I'll give you an example. Jackson, I'm so proud

479
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:11,440
and so honored to be here on your podcast, but you don't even care what comes after that.

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All your brain heard was the negation going, oh my God. It's this negative feeling. Yes.

481
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:24,680
We say use the word and it's called a causal linkage. It links the two thoughts. Jackson,

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I love this podcast. I'm so honored to be here and I hope that maybe we can work together

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00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:35,840
later on in the future. Causal linkage. Second word, try. I love this one. Try. Get rid of

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that word completely from your vocabulary. There is no such thing as try. You've heard

485
00:43:40,580 --> 00:43:46,480
in Star Wars, Yoda says there is no try, only do or don't. In NLP we say trying is excusing

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failure in advance. It'd be like you asking me, hey, you want to come on the podcast?

487
00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:57,880
I go, oh man, yeah, I definitely will try. You know I'm not going to. No commitment.

488
00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:02,000
You guys want to try to come to the, I got a party going on. You want to come Saturday

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night? I'll try to make it. You're not going to make it. You already know in advance. Transmute

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that word from out of your system to I will or won't. Yeah. And the third word, real powerful

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is the word problem. When we say problem to ourselves and other people, to the unconscious

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mind, which develops a feeling, it gets the feeling of it's almost insurmountable. It's

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a problem. Change it to the word challenge. That was really weird for me. My coach, my

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first NLP trainer said, you use the word problem a lot, John. I go, yeah, doesn't everyone?

495
00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:45,120
Right. Universal qualifier like everybody does. Start using the word challenge. He goes,

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00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:52,080
it's like a speed bump in your mind. It doesn't feel so big. Right. So, but try and problem.

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Start there. Start there if you're looking for answers in anything, whether it be your

498
00:44:57,280 --> 00:45:02,920
business, your relationship, your finances, start there. Change your inner dialogue. I

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00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:12,800
love it. When we work on the inner, it's amazing what can happen with our outer. The word problem

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00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:18,080
shifting towards challenge. I'm a huge fan of that opportunity. And that's the other

501
00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:25,640
word that I like to use is opportunity. We often see some of our opportunities as our

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00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:30,880
greatest problems. When in reality, they're our greatest learning adventures, greatest

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chances to improve our life. So this is awesome. Those of you who are listening in, if you

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00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:46,000
want to learn more about Dr. John James Santangelo, then make sure to check out the links that

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00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:50,640
are in the landing page. Of course, you're welcome to drop comments or questions, anything

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00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:54,000
that you'd like to contribute as well. Don't hesitate to do so in the comments. We'll make

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00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:58,000
sure that we get him tagged on that. Also, if you have your own vision that you'd like

508
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:01,320
to share, then don't hesitate to reach out. We've got a button on the page that says be

509
00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:05,360
our guest and we'd be happy to hear your vision and see what you're up to and how you're helping

510
00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:08,200
out people in this world. John, thanks for being here today.

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Buddy, you are awesome. Thank you for what you do. I really appreciate it. And again,

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I'm honored to be here.

513
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:16,560
Absolutely. Everybody have a fantastic week and we will see you on the next show.

514
00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:20,400
Thank you for being here today. I'm really happy that you tuned in to Vision Pros Live.

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I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions as these episodes continue to move forward.

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This is going to get more and more fun. We'll have more and more engagement as well. We'll

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invite people to participate in the show. And thank you for giving us your time and

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attention. Have an excellent week.