I tried to get in and do something else and do something different and, um, you know,
ultimately led me a couple different ways into this, this coaching journey.
Now that I'm on with coaching story work,
where did your diligence come from, dude?
I can hear that this is not a new thing.
You've had this, you know, being back to that college story of masters
programs, switching gears, making the most of it, personal strength and conditioning,
training.
Where does that drive come from?
I realized that, uh, pretty early on, which I'm very blessed to do, that you can
logically think your way into a lot of different scenarios.
You can heart feel your way into a lot of different scenarios, but if that doesn't
align with your gut and your intuition, then you're never going to be happy.
And so that was, uh, something that I've, I've again realized pretty early on, and
I have become more courageous as time goes on to listen to that gut feeling, uh,
sooner and act appropriately.
And so I do consider myself resilient.
I do consider myself very adaptable.
Those are two identities that I hold.
And when I find something that's the right thing or I find someone that's the
right person, I'm, that's it.
I'm in, I'm on.
That's what we're doing.
So, um, it's just become a lifelong journey of finding that right inner gut feeling.
Story time.
Um, I don't know if you ever heard that in Vine back in the day, but moving
into the story, I still want to know.
Where did you, where did you incubate that?
What, what life event, what, I don't know, mentors, parents, was it a teachers?
Was it somebody who was, you know, rude to you?
Do you mind?
Like, is there, is there like anything that, any tangible thing you went through
that created that resilience?
I've had my fair share of injuries.
Uh, I've had my fair share of mentors.
I realized, uh, you know, fitness was my gateway drug into personal development,
like pretty early on.
And if we want to talk stories right out the gate, my, uh, I was probably 13 years
old and I was never fat.
I was just, you know, we joke big bone, you know, but I had, I had some chubb,
you know, and I had some glasses and I had the curly hair and I didn't wear
cool clothes and I felt, uh, I was embarrassed to take my shirt off at the
pool when my other friends, I feel like we're more athletic and getting, you
know, conversations from girls started and I felt like I was getting, you know,
like the weird eyes and that led me down a path into, you know what, I'm going to
go and take myself seriously and take my fitness seriously and actually go to
the gym and actually go running and lo and behold, I realized, well, that
makes my, my sports better.
It makes me carry myself a little bit differently.
It makes me feel better internally and, uh, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not
that, um, you know, I carried that, that, uh, desire for personal development
and optimization forward as time went on in both in my academics and then in my
career and obviously in my interpersonal relationships as well.
That's amazing.
With that, I can't wait to showcase, uh, the, the story, the video that we, we
chose that you created for one of your brands and we'll be right back.
All right.
Welcome in to vision pros live.
The Jackson Calame on your show hosts.
We'll be doing interviews for visionary entrepreneurs and guest leaders who are
building fantastic visions out there.
Welcome in vision pros to another episode of vision pros live.
I'm your show host Jackson Calame founder and CEO of first class business.
We are so blessed to have Dave Robinson on the show today.
Uh, the depth, the wisdom, uh, the tenaciousness, the realization and optimization
or positive changes in our lives apply to both our personal opportunities as much
as they apply to our business and digital presences.
The guy has serious depth.
Um, we're going to be talking about the healing power of story work.
We're also going to be talking about the amazing power that telling your story,
owning your story, knowing where you came from, helping people connect with
the reality that people don't care what you know until they know that you care
about them.
It's super important to be able to connect with people in our stories is what
helps us.
Thank you, Liz Brown for facts, tell stories, sell.
And when we sell based on service, um, we're doing the right thing to help
people find the right solution for themselves.
The outcome is absolutely beautiful.
And we're going to be talking with Dave about those realities, uh, as we dive
into his own personal story a little bit further.
A little bit further before we do that, we're going to look at some of
these sponsors, uh, Sean and Julianne Lachuga from the wellness shop, 365, uh,
this, oh, I was hoping we would show the new page.
Um, that's okay.
Um, this is their transformation process.
They have just like anybody else, so many stories, so many different elements
that they want the world to understand.
And when I met them, I saw this right here, the 365 harmony of life will
assessment.
I was like, whoa, we're talking about health and wellness people who also
really care about your joy, your spirituality, your creativity, your
finances, your, your home cooking.
Uh, you will obviously that one if you're into health.
Uh, your home environment though, the relationships, your social, I was, uh,
my gosh, I was like, these people get it.
They understand what it means to show up and care about those that they serve.
And sure enough, I've seen that over the last four to six months.
I remember the exact date.
I just know they feel like family already to me.
Um, and they got the super sweet family.
They're good people.
Uh, it's fun to see a dynamic duo, uh, as a couple work together so well.
Now I can promise you, they're not perfect.
Um, I'm not going to go into any of, any of what could be there.
But what I have seen with the way that they communicate with me on a regular
basis, it's absolutely amazing.
Um, how, how strong their relationship is.
And, uh, it's a reflection to me of the type of infrastructure that they
understand is needed to support all of those, all those that they want to serve.
That's what I look for.
When I look at providers is how do they show up for those that they serve and
how do they serve those internally behind the scenes?
Um, and hopefully you as well as visionaries, when you hear me say that,
hopefully some of you will start, uh, if you're not doing that, we'll start
taking notes of, okay, what signs can I pick up?
What communication patterns can I pick up to assess those I might want to work with?
Then there's the lost spot with Melissa Gray, same exact reality.
Uh, she came on the show.
She, that's how we met was through her episode and she blew my mind.
I was a little bit worried to host her because attorneys, um, you know,
how attorneys can be just watch Liar Liar or suits.
Um, and you'll see that there's a lot of aggression behind what they do.
And I'm kind of a nurturer.
So, uh, the way that she was able to explain and articulate law with a
nurturing personality, but she's, and she has that superpower of listening
skills at proactive listening and she has the ability to represent businesses
and in terms of their legal counsel, uh, got me really thinking about the
reality that 95% of the companies I've.
Prospected with or worked with.
If I were to ask them, who do you have a, a, um, advisor for legal counsel on
retainer, 95% of them would have said no.
Um, they don't.
And that's scary.
Um, in a world that does have liabilities and vulnerabilities, but what's
scarier is when, you know, you're part of the 5% who do go get legal counsel.
And you realize what a nightmare it is to try to find a firm that understands
your vision, cares about you and doesn't just care about their own personal retainer.
What's also hard to realize is, okay, you might find somebody and finish that fast.
Um, but then you end up with a trademark lawsuit like we did at restaurant connect
and you're in the whole $20,000, um, on a process because, uh, you just, you didn't
find the right person to represent you who understood that as a startup, you
don't have $20,000 to put towards the trademark lawsuit.
Um, so we overcame that challenge, but it would have been wonderful to have
somebody who I had more trust in, um, that was able to explain processes to us
a little bit better and who could also propose alternative paths towards that
outcome without just being so happy to collect the paycheck.
Um, so with that said, let's move over to the water project.
Um, the story in the water project, uh, just, I hope that you guys go and see
what they're up to.
Um, we have, if you're listening to this podcast, you probably have access to
clean drinking water within 10 yards of where you're at.
Uh, there's millions of people in the world who don't, they have to go and find
sources of water.
And you and I both know the river is outside our house or the lake or the
pond down the street, like you, you wouldn't drink that.
Uh, yet these children are leaving school.
These parents are leaving work in order to find that basic necessity.
Makes me wonder where else they get food from, um, and other substances.
And so we have this, it's ultimately like a crowdfunding project.
You can see what's being done.
You would then, if you contribute a few dollars to this, you get to see the
outcome of where your contribution goes as well.
And if you're not in a financial position to be able to take action on this
and, and give them anything, my request is that you share this opportunity with
others or you take the time right now to share a cause that matters to you
because you never know who you'll reach.
And maybe you reach somebody who can provide the reach, the monetary value
and resources to this.
And you end up being the microphone that helps inspire them to do so.
Um, and that's my, my ultimate hope.
So right before bringing Dave on, I think one of the best things we can do
is look at the proof of his work and the brand story or message that he
created for one of his clients.
So without further ado, let's dive right into that story.
So there's a great quote by John Muir and it says, I'd rather be in the
mountains thinking about God than in church thinking about the mountains.
And for me, being outside is the closest I can get to, to God, our creator,
whomever that may be.
I went to college and got out a year or so afterward, got into the financial
planning industry and I had the office job.
We're not made to be inside all the time.
We're not created to push papers or, you know, get extra zeros in a bank
account, we're made to live.
And that's what I committed to doing.
So I left my career and started my own thing.
My motivation was always to travel, get outside, put my feet in the water,
get fresh air and sunlight on my skin and, and experience the joys of being
alive.
And I'm so excited.
It's been a goal of mine for a long time to be able to have that real sense of
connection, not only with myself, but with, with everyone around me, those
people who I love, as often as possible, get out, move, return to nature, get
back to the basics and to do so in as much of a free and joyous way as I
possibly do.
Dave Robinson, welcome to Vision Pros Live, my friend.
Jackson, thank you for having me, man.
This is really exciting and I appreciate the opportunity to chat with you today.
Absolutely.
What you, what we didn't tell the audience, but what they found evident was
you did not bring your razor when you went on that mountain top.
Got it at home.
Forgot it at home.
That, that story, the way you, you share about the brand is awesome.
And, you know, some people who aren't as familiar with the psychology of
advertising, you know, say things like, well, I didn't even catch the product.
I don't even know what this is.
That's the point.
That's the curiosity and intrigue factor, you know, of being willing to look it
up.
But more importantly, if you didn't connect with the message, you're not
really going to connect with the product anyway.
If you connect with the message, you're going to want to know where it came
from and the source.
And so that, that does an excellent job of showcasing a story that, that makes
a brand feel powerful enough to me to say, wow, there's a lot of shoe brands that
I've used.
I really shouldn't be considering this one, but all of a sudden I'm looking
at the prices, looking at the, the shoes and saying, maybe I'll get some of
these.
They're comfy, man.
They're stylish too.
So that's the, that's the power of telling a story.
Well, is you can, you can overcome the fears of stranger danger.
So if you're a brand that's not as good as you think you are, you can, you can
go fast, um, then, and we can't do that when we're just shoving products and
services down people's throats and trying to make it sound like that's our, our
unique, uh, or unfair advantage or unique selling proposition.
Anyway, I'm done preaching.
Um, what is your vision for those that you serve?
To be, find peace again, right?
Have peace in, in their hearts and in their guts and in their minds and in
their souls.
Um, so many people are struggling.
Like quite frankly, and even very quote unquote successful people struggle.
And, um, many of those people are unnecessarily creating conflict internally
and externally with what they are perceiving as their reality based on
the words that they're using and their patterns of speech and the things that
they've experienced in their past, some of which might be hurtful, haunting
or, or otherwise.
And so we all have an inner bully.
We all have an inner critic and we don't deserve that to be quite honest with
you.
You know, we deserve to be in a position of where we love ourselves and we're
okay saying that and where we love other people.
We love the life we live.
And that's my mission is to impact people in that capacity to help bring love
back into their life and to bring peace into their life and allow them to, you
know, turn their, their self doubt into self confidence again.
That's amazing.
Um, I was, I've always loved the idea of love done my best to connect with it,
but it wasn't until I was like 30, maybe even 32 before dawned on me that love
is a verb.
Um, and it's hard in English.
There's no conjugation.
So it was me playing with Spanish, the Spanish language and realizing Amir is
ever, whoa, wait a second.
Okay.
This is not just something you feel or you receive.
This is something that you do.
Um, and, uh, you mentioned peace.
You didn't mention it.
You set that as the foundation, the pinnacle.
Man, I, I aligned completely with that.
That's the only emotion that for, for my religious perspectives that I am guaranteed
to have on this earth with God.
Um, and it's also therefore means, and I, and I'm guaranteed it.
If I do the things that I'm supposed to do for my life and therefore I can rely on
peace, I can't rely on fun.
Firework shows are few and far between we can fake fun, but I can't rely on it
to stabilize me.
Um, so I love that you bring that to people.
What's your, let's, let's dive a little bit deeper into your vision for you.
I'm sure peace and love have a lot to do with that.
Um, but what's your vision look like?
Give us a, give us a tour helicopter tour.
I love expressing myself physically.
I love nature, you know, as we saw in that video.
Um, I'm on a third of an acre here in, in Richmond, Virginia, about 10, 15 minutes
outside of town, and I'd love to, to maybe get 30 acres, maybe 300 acres in the
mountains, couple of hours west of Richmond, Virginia, and, and be in a space to,
uh, be able to work stories and be able to help myself.
Stories and be able to help my friends and clients, but grow my own food.
Um, live in a sustainable manner and help impact people in a way that is
profound and enduring.
Um, my personal definition of impact is the ripples that we create and send
out into our world and we can do that negatively.
We can send out negative ripples.
We all, I imagine want to, or at least those listening to the show want to send
out those positive ripples into our world.
And you know, my, my favorite affirmation outside of I love myself is better,
me better, everyone.
And when we each can focus on our own, uh, inner journey that allows us to show
up better in our family units and then in our working environments and then in
our communities, and that's how we end up changing this thing.
It's not voting someone different into office or, you know, um, any myriad
of other number of more popular ways.
It's like, no, fix your world, fix your internal environment.
And ultimately in my profession, that's done through altering the words we use
and changing the stories we tell ourselves so that we find that piece that love,
that joy.
Absolutely.
Um, the, one thing I haven't shared with everybody, obviously, um, but I'm going
to now because I'm actually going to be moving fairly soon.
Um, is where I live and I also live outside the city.
Um, and I love it.
And I used to live in the heart for a little while.
Um, and it was way too much of the heart.
Um, you know, everything could be heard.
Um, you know, there was nowhere you could really go.
Um, and have solitude.
Um, so I'm going to share that real quick because, uh, like I said, nothing
to lose on this.
Um, but to, to your point, um, this is Parkett Briggs Ranch.
This is where I live.
Um, little apartment community outside of San Antonio.
You'll see that it's right on a golf course.
And it's also right outside of a nature preserve.
Um, and so I get to go on these walks around the department of night and you
can actually see the stars.
Um, you know, I get to go out and, you know, you don't know what type of animal
you're in.
I stepped on a snake one day, scared the heck out of me.
Um, I screamed like a girl.
Um, you know, that was not my favorite experience in the world.
I don't blame you.
Yeah.
They're like, it's just, you know, somebody later is like, cause it was
just a garden snake.
Like, no, every snake is a dead snake in my opinion.
Like, I can't, I can't do it.
Um, and the, the rent when you live outside of the city, by the way, um, is far
more affordable than when you're competing for, uh, housing in the city.
So there's, there's a lot of advantages as visionaries.
Um, we have, we have, if we're going to grow in a way that's supported by our
creator, then we have a responsibility to be white stewards.
Um, or what we do.
And so if you think the flashy cars, um, you know, and the cool sunglasses,
um, you know, and the, um, the showboating of what you maybe don't pretend to have,
but what you can't afford.
Um, you know, what, what you're posturing as your sense of authority is what's
driving people towards you.
One, you're probably driving the wrong types of people towards you or the wrong
types of the people who have the wrong types of ideas.
People aren't bad, but our processes sometimes are our process for decision
making sometimes is.
Uh, then the, there's an amazing shift that occurs.
Um, when you start learning how to be vulnerable as a leader, when you start
learning how to engage in healthy dialogue and, and look at perspectives from
new angles, um, there's a power of influence that I hope every visionary
here that's listening in, uh, gets the chance to explore, um, for themselves.
Um, because my way is not the right way.
Dave's way is not the right way.
It's just our way, um, but it is, it's amazing to feel centered, um, and, and
what you do.
And I haven't always had that myself.
Um, Dave, what moving into dark subjects along those lines, what is your
worst leadership experience ever?
Hmm.
What a good question.
Um, I probably could have left my financial planning career in a better way.
Um, I just, I knew I was done and I was done mentally, physically and emotionally.
And I, uh, had, I mean, I was a little backsplendor.
I was in the career for six and a half years and I never intended to leave.
Like I wanted this to be the thing.
Like I wanted to, I liked wearing the suit and tie in the beginning.
I liked meeting people.
I liked networking.
I liked feeling like I made an impact.
Um, as it turns out, I, I got bit by a spider.
And I don't know where I was when I got bit, but I got literally, literally no, no superpowers,
nothing out of that.
Right.
I bit on my, on my elbow and it put me in the hospital for, um, actually I went to the
hospital twice.
The first time they misdiagnosed me and they sent me home with some like, like 200
milligrams of Advil and was like, Hey, come back in 48 hours.
I'm like puking that night.
I got a fever.
Like it's my elbows the size of a softball.
And like, you know, so I ended up being persuaded by a very smart and caring friend of mine to
like, dude, you got, you got to go back.
It's like, all right, fine.
You know how we are.
All right.
I'll go back.
And I'm very happy.
I did because I was in the hospital for three days, two nights, pump, pull of IVs and, and
antibiotics and all kinds of stuff.
And they, uh, I had this moment when I went in Friday, early morning, uh, had this moment
like Saturday night turned to Sunday morning.
It's like one AM Sunday morning.
And I was supposed to get out Sunday afternoon.
I was going to be released.
And I had this thought.
I'm hooked up to all these like, you know, machines and like, I'm literally been in my
bed for like two straight days and I'm not, uh, able to do the things that I, you know,
want to do, love to do.
I'm not active.
I'm not, I'm not well.
I'm not healthy.
And I have this thought tomorrow, Sunday, that means the next day is Monday.
It means I got to work.
Maybe I'll just stay here another day.
And it was like lightning bolt to the head download of dude, like, what are you doing?
And, and I spent the entire rest of that night fast forwarding and having that vision cast
out and realize that if I continued, I would have a B minus life, B plus at best.
And that wasn't what I was aiming for with the one life that we know we have here and
not knowing how long we're guaranteed to live it.
So I made the decision to leave my career and I communicated that as best as I could.
But I also left it pretty late and I probably could have done a much better job of making
sure that everybody felt comfortable with me stepping away from, you know, being their
advisor and being their leader of their own finances than I actually did.
And that's something that I don't have many regrets, especially from a life standpoint,
but from a leadership standpoint, I could have communicated much better and clearer
and held a better boundary when it came to actually continuing to help those folks.
And that was back in November of 2017.
I've grown a lot personally and professionally since then, but
I would take a do over with how I stepped away from my last career.
Wow. The lesson that you're teaching right now, this is one of the greatest powers that
visionaries overlook and don't think about.
And I know this because I'm also guilty of not caring about my exit strategies in the past
and really taking a very long time to figure out what you figured out so quickly with that
experience. I think a lot of visionaries grow up being rejected in different fashions,
not all of them, but I think a lot of us share that in common where if you experienced high
amounts of rejection as a kid or based on the ideas that you had and I did, I had a ton of
pain of awful rejections, then you kind of learned the survival instinct of being like,
screw that, I'll find my own opportunity. I'm going to walk by the beat of my own drum.
We make these cool scenes that support us on our layer and willingness to move on.
I became a ladder jumper and realized that if I want to climb that, you got a long way to climb
the ladder. No, I'll climb this ladder and I'll get their ladder to recognize how awesome I am.
Right. And I'll get their ladder to recognize that. That was kind of my beginning plan as a 0.33 GPA,
you know, a dropout was I got to fight my way to the top. I didn't have to. It was a chosen path,
but visionaries, if we don't learn to move towards humility in that process and realize that there
are healthy relationships and we can lead by example on the healthy relationships and we can
properly prepare exit strategies, we're going to continue to have explosions in our life when they
are unnecessary. To honor your example on that and to honor somebody very important to me,
Jaime Jimenez helped me build this podcast. Jaime was working with me out of out of Columbia
and just an absolute amazing project manager. He has the potential to someday be COO or CEO.
He's just so talented and so gifted. He speaks English really well too, really helped the team and
he was with us for eight months full time, giving his heart and soul to this just like all of the
rest of my team. And he was recruited back to his old position where he worked for seven years
and they offered him a good sum of money more than what I was offering, but he was also going to
not have the stress that he had with trying to help us move our mountains forward. And Jaime could
have closed up shop left, done all the things I've done so many times in my past and so many,
so many things that it's like the same thing I see so many visionaries do, but we handled that
and he almost did. He almost, you know, moved forward a little bit too fast with that without
honoring the process and I explained to him, Hey man, I know you're kind of mentally checking out
right now and that's okay. I said, but there's an opportunity here if you can help bridge the gap
on the next process and, you know, keep your conviction and what we're up to,
then setting off into the sunset, there will never have any doubts on our end.
If you ever want to come back, we'll never have any challenges of, you know, of being a reference
for you. And he took that to heart. He completed it and in his eight months time, he wasn't supposed
to make 1% of the company an equity agreement with us unless he completed his year. Heck,
no man, I honored that. I said, you helped us create this foundation. You handled this process
the right way. Now I wanted to work with us part time. And I said, no, I said, your wife needs
you at home. You know, you need to stay focused on this new opportunity, get yourself established
there. We need to see if we're going to sink or swim without you. Do I want to see that as well?
And so he's, he's on call. I could call him up and say, Hey, tomorrow, let's get started again.
And I'm probably going to do that in the next week or two. But it's been a good six months.
And he is one of my best friends. Again, you shared the story on it. We as visionaries do not
plan our exit strategies hardly at all. It's almost always a bad situation when we're firing
an agency or letting go of somebody or somebody's moving on because they're disgruntled mad
and it's because we don't think through how do we, how do we put the relationship first
when we're green as mutual human beings to part ways? Any further thoughts on that before we
go into best leadership, Dave? One of my, uh, one of the big takeaways I got from the story you
shared and that I've used in the past is, you know, we've all heard the first impression is the best
impression. Well, the last impression is the lasting impression. And so it doesn't matter what the
first impression is, you know, it's like, if it ends on a sour note, like you could have been
great for seven months and 29 days, but that 30th day of the last month was, was bad. And so
that's going to be the lasting impression, right? And so that's something that I've really taken
to heart personally and that I've tried to impart with, you know, my clients who are going through
transitions or whatever is like the last impression is the last thing impression and like see it
through, you know, see it through. Is that your quote or do I need to reference somebody? That's
me, man. I made that up. I was so stoked. I have to ask because it's just so darn good.
Thank you. I was like, okay, yeah, that's, that's brilliant. I will absolutely be quoting you on
that often. All right. So moving into the next one, the best leadership experience. What's your
best leadership experience ever? This can be you. This can be a mentor. It can be any, any, it can
be a movie. Man. I'll tell you a recent example. And so I've spent the last three and a half or so
years since I found the modality of story work. I've, I've spent the last three and a half years
on defense largely with my business. You know, I was, I was taking things as they came. If I got
asked to be on a show, I'd get on a show. If I got a referral or a personal introduction, which was
fueling my business, then great. I wasn't intentional with my branding. I wasn't intentional with
anything other than my fulfillment. And I had in my mind that, you know, I wanted to create and then
step into the identity of being a world-class story work coach. And I wanted to do that first
before I focused on anything else. And I realized that over the two and a half, three years that I
had become that, and I had stepped into that and that the results spoke for themselves, my testimonials
and referrals spoke for themselves. And, but at the same time, I had this realization of like, well,
okay, like I'm fulfillment's way up here. And my ability as a coach is way up here in my business,
like the actual nuts and bolts of the business outside of like the money I was making, the money
was great. But as a business, I was a poor business owner, right, at best, at best. And so this past
year, 2023, we're recording this very early in 2024. But in 2023, I have made it a huge point to
step up and try to bring those things level without dropping my main goal of being the best coach
that I can possibly be and being the best to ever do this work. And so stepping my business up to meet
that identity of ultimately getting to being a world-class business owner as well. That's been
my best leadership experience, because I've learned so much and I've messed up so much, but I've also
had some really good successes there. And my most, my most best, Jesus, Louise, my, I'm calling my
favorite success in this is I hired my fiance, who is an incredible creative and she's an amazing
writer. She's an author. She is, is at her best when she's creating. And we were recently engaged
in November in Santorini. Thank you. Thank you. Very excited. And, you know, it was all going to
the same place anyway. So I figure, you know, why not let her step into her creative genius and help
me. And it's been a really fun experience and it's been a really cool experience not only as a man,
but as a leader of my business and now our, our family to learn to work together in that capacity
and to do so with grace and to do so with love and to do so with, again, good communication,
because that's the key to absolutely anything. So I'm very proud of how I've shown up there,
even though it sure as heck has not been perfect, but I'm proud over the past year and especially
over the past couple months of working with her. It's one of the hardest things in life is
having a relationship with anybody, spending more and more and more and more and more and more time
was that relationship. You had two different human beings with two different purposes, two
different minds, two different opinions. And so the more those get closer and closer together,
the more potential there is for, for clash, but the more, the more potential there is for a more
permanent bond as well. And so I know, I know people freak out about that or think like, oh my,
if you want good relationships, don't talk politics, don't talk religion, you know, and,
and don't talk about what was the other one, I forget, but sports or something. And I was like,
well, if you want a relationship to survive, you know, then yes, without any depth, then that is
true. But I want deep relationships. You know, and that's, that's what you guys are so honorable to
me. It's that standing outside the fire song, Garth Brooks style, life isn't lived unless you're
standing in the fire and taking that risk. So kudos to you guys. One of the things that
that you mentioned in there was this defense and this reacting the fulfillment aspect of making
that shift. It was the EMeth by Michael Gerber that opened my eyes to that shift and realizing,
holy crap, I've been doing this for a very long time for a lot of different companies. And I still
suck at it. And he knows why he's basically writing a journal about my story. You know,
you know, just so empowering. How did you, how did you come to realize yourself that, that you
weren't, you weren't looking at your business in the right way? Yeah, great question. I, you know,
and this is very cliche, but I didn't care about the money, like it was coming in and I was very
happy about it, but that's not like it was never on my equation, like I searched and sought out
flexibility, freedom and impact. And the flexibility of time is what I was really after.
You know, I, I change out the word time with life all the time. You know, I was like, Hey,
how are you spending your time? AKA, how are you spending your life? And a lot of the life or a
lot of the time I, you know, at least in my past wasn't happy with that exchange. And so
it wasn't until I realized that I wanted more than my third of an acre, 15 minutes outside of, of
Richmond, you know, and it wasn't, so I realized that, Hey, I do want to start a family someday.
And millions, if not billions of people have done it in a worse financial situation than me,
and it could be a lot better and easier and safer and more productive if I focused more on my
income and continued to lean into that time that I do have. I'm very time rich as well. And, and I
like that I'm very life rich. And so I knew that there were things that I could do differently and
better that would make me more efficient and systems that I could lean into. I've got ADHD and I
loathe structure and systems, but I also understand that if I make the call and if I, if the system
works for me and I can implement it the way that feels good for me, then, then that's a system that
I can lean into as long as it's not an outward kind of like if the pressure isn't outward,
you know, then it's okay. Like if the pressure comes from within, then, then yeah, I can handle
that. Right. Yeah. ADD and ADHD people absolutely love systems. You know, they don't know it. You
know, we don't, we don't like to admit it. You know, it's like, you know, we, there's lots of
things we don't like to admit. We don't, we know, we hate change. We love change. You know, it changes
from night to day every day when we get excited about one or the other. You know, we have a system
in our body that helps us breathe and that helps our digestive system stay on track and do things.
Like we, we very much understand systems more than we give ourselves credit for. But a lot of
times the world beats us up about our inability to follow systems that don't make any sense to us.
Yes. So you found some that make sense. They're passionate about strengths, you know, being
strength conditioning was a system. Now you're finding those aspects for your business as well,
and that's amazing. I went through the same phase, phase, my whole life leading up to
about three, four years ago, three years ago. I know it was four years ago, four years ago. I said,
you know, I don't care about the money again. You know, I was still saying that was my mantra.
And then don to me, if I don't care about the money, the money is not going to care about me.
And as a resource that God gives me, I'm also being irresponsible as a steward. I'm saying,
hey, I'm just going to bury these talents under the sand, make sure they're safe, but, but I'm
going to, I'm going to go focus on other things. The shifts that occurs in our opportunities when
we begin to welcome money in abundance, not love it, but welcome it and realize this resource
matters for moving my objectives forward. Therefore, how can I cultivate a healthy relationship with it?
That's, that's a fantastic move for entrepreneurs to make. So if this is the last chance you had
ever to share a powerful lesson with visionaries, what powerful lesson can other visionaries learn
from your experience? Breathe and write down the stories that you tell yourself that you feel
like are holding you back. So just like you said with the system, the system of our breath, like
our breath drives our physiology, and I could breathe like this. Right. Like I'm exercising or
having a panic attack, and I'm going to be in an upregulated sympathetic nervous system, fight,
flight or freeze response state. Conversely, I can breathe like this.
Where we always have time to take that breath, we always have the power to take that breath,
but to choose our response to the situation. And that's going to pull us down into that
parasympathetic rest and relax or feed and breathe nervous system state. And it's in that state that
we can process our emotions. It's in that state that our bodies store memories properly. It's in
that state that we heal ourselves, heal ourselves. Right. And we're able to, if we breathe and then
take the stories and the thoughts and the words and the things from our heads that are bothering us
or holding us back or keeping us down or creating conflict, and we put that onto a page, we put
that onto a computer screen. What we're doing is we're taking ourselves out of the story.
So we're going from being in the story to now we're observing the story and creating space and
distance. And that allows us to see things from an entirely different perspective. Oftentimes,
that combination of simply writing the event or the thoughts down, whether that happened when you
were seven, 17, 37, seven minutes ago, it doesn't matter. Right. Like putting that onto the page
or onto the paper, creating that distance and breathing that can create the space in order
to see it differently. And when we can see it differently, we can make different decisions,
we can respond in a different manner. And thus we have now become the architect of our reality,
as opposed to just, you know, flowing through it and having it happen to us.
I cannot convey enough the divine power of the timing of your show for me.
Tell me more. Tell me more.
Yeah. Yesterday, hosted Marina Stamos from the One Minute Talk and Earth Shatteringly Good
in terms of helping people understand how to frame. Now you come on with a very, very similar
understanding of the power of story, but completely different lessons about how to go about it and
talking in depth about these components that again, when we combine more of the correct
formulas, the virtuous formulas of life together, we continue to strengthen the powers. And this
is something that we are benefiting from tremendously right now and where we're at with the
optimization of first class business and vision pros live and I sit there, I hope you know,
some passion pro, like all this stuff comes together and it's sometimes hard to correlate
how everything is working together. And I was with a mentor a few days ago. It's been almost a
month now since Monty was here. And we talked for the whole day, two to 9pm. He's got to go,
he's got to run, you know, so we go outside and I'm in shorts and a t-shirt and it's
freezing to me. I'm texting through and through San Antonio. I love the heat. Don't put me in
the cold, please. I don't like cold weather at all. No cold showers, not my thing. I've tried it,
don't like it. I'll work on it. Breathe, right? So I'm out there with Monty and he's supposed to
be leaving, but I know we just gonna keep jamming. He keeps going. I'm loving it. But I don't want
him to know that I'm uncomfortable, but like, you know, I'm like shaking, you know, like I'm, but
I start remembering that Jeffrey Sarah on the show challenged my, my disdain for cold, cold
showers and I'm thinking about that. And then I'm thinking about, I'm listening to him about what
he's saying, but I'm also training myself to breathe through this. And I noticed even with
the first breath, when my breaths are long and slow, I can't feel the cold on the, on the inward
breath on the outward breath. I'm still feeling a little bit and I'm like, dang, I'm not listening
to him as well as I should be. You know, but I'm practicing a new skill. And we talked for like
20 minutes out there. And I was, my body wanted to scream, you're dying, you know, like, this is
awful, you know, but my, because I maintained the breath the way that I did and centered around
that one simple reality. I wasn't shaking. He couldn't notice that I was hating the experience
physically, but I was engaged in the super deep, important conversation about our philosophies on
life that was very profound and I wasn't going to miss and I wasn't going to erupt and I wasn't
going to give a sign that like, I need to go inside. It was very important to be in that moment.
So you reiterating that allows me to just again, double down on something that I did again yesterday
but related to playing the trumpet, which I don't play very often anymore, but there was an instance
where my band director caught the fact that I could not as the leader of the band, we got second
in state, I could not play this part for the life of me because of how fast your tongue has to move.
And so every like, I don't know, maybe once a month, the song comes, I really play that song,
I've been playing it for 20 plus years. And last night, as I was attempting that part,
not with the trumpet, but with, you know, with what you do with your mouth, your aperture,
I started breathing like that. And I did it for the first time ever. So silly. So I,
I, that's something I would normally talk about, but to solidify the reality that man,
I'm a firm believer in what you just said about using the breathing technique and also writing
down those stories that help that hold you back. Marina got me right in those yesterday too. I started
practicing last night and just how weird is that? You know, like back to back episodes,
how you can say weird, you can't call miraculous, you can use whatever word twist you want my,
my word for it, divine, miraculous. Thank you, Dave, for facilitating that.
You're welcome. Can I point out something about the word weird for you?
Yeah. It comes from old middle English, and it means to control one's fate or to control one's
destiny. That's the etymology of the word weird. And, and I think a good thing or a bad thing.
I think it's a great thing to control one's fate and to control one's destiny. I also,
you know, if you look around at the state of the world, I certainly don't think it's a good
thing to be normal. Quote unquote. I don't want to be normal. I like the weird aspect.
I also believe in letting go, right? But there's, there's the balance is the harmony, right? And
being able to set healthy boundaries and love people unconditionally, right? They go hand in hand,
even though we want to convince ourselves or polar opposites. But so I get it. I'm picking it up now.
Okay. So the controlling of one's fate, weird. I've always told, you know, like, I'm like,
I'm, I love me weird. I mean, I got, I want to embrace that. It's my uniqueness, right?
So I tell my kids, we're crazy. Like, you know, people say they were crazy, like, cool, thank you.
I mean, I like it's great. Thanks. I'm totally happy with that. So I don't really have semantics
issues unless the semantics are related to limiting beliefs, you know, or toxicity. And if those two
things happen, back to your, your theory of, oh, word, of word choice, you know, mattering, I believe
in that too. If you didn't catch it guys, you can go back to where I asked about the powerful lesson.
Dave dove right into the healing power of story work. As he talked exactly about that. I mean,
that's in essence, a large part of the healing power is following that step of breathing and
writing down the stories that are holding you back and processing. It was beautifully articulated.
Before we wrap up, Dave, is there, is there anything else that you are dying to share?
Would love to share with the audience that's on your mind?
Yeah, I'd just love to continue to reiterate that again, the stories we tell ourselves are
dictating our reality in a very real and a very visceral manner. You know, we've all talked
ourselves into bad moods. We've probably also talked ourselves at the good moods. And we sure
as heck use different words to do that. You know, and so we're going to tend to see in our reality
and see in our world what we're looking at. And I know that might sound like a duh thing, right?
But if we see the negative, it's because we're looking at the negative. If we see the positive,
it's because we're looking at the positive. And there's such great power and opportunity to
create that joy and that love in our own life. And for those that we love being around,
if we are looking at the good, and that goes especially for our own stories,
you know, everybody's had hurtful experience in the past. Everyone has felt stuck or,
you know, at certain points in their lives, everyone's vision for the future can sometimes
get cloudy or be a little bit opaque, right? And so what we do when we work a story is we
take that story, we put it down onto the screen or the page, we have written it out, we slow down
how we read that story, we read it out loud, we add that breath in, and each time we're
sinking a layer deeper into that parasympathetic state again. And again, when we're there, we can
make decisions, we can heal, we can process, we can move on from the hurtful and the haunting
experiences from the past, we can start to get our wheels turning again when it comes to the
stuckness of the present, and we can start to clean the windshield a little bit of our vision
for the future. And it's the through line between all personal development work that I've ever
experienced in my life. It's so powerful. Absolutely. The brands that I see really crushing
it have leaders. If you look at the top leaders, the ones who have a go-to-hearted feeling of
go-to-hearted feeling of influence, they're very particular with their work choices.
You know, they're not lackadaisical with what they say. They're very intentional
with how they communicate with people, and that's what helps their audience know that they belong
with where they're at. Two things I would add to what you've shared that my hope is inspires
the visionaries out there, and it's also an invitation to you, Dave, to consider. And that's
you shared two very, very powerful truths, and you also utilized the word for those who loved
polarized content, and you said, I know that sounds cliche on one occasion, and you said,
and that may sound like a moment, almost pulling away the power of what you shared.
And there's this concept that I learned thanks to a Harvard study called the curse of knowledge.
And the curse of knowledge is when we have learned something, we tend to take it for granted and
assume that it's universal knowledge, and we call it common sense. And at the same time,
if I give a caveman a water bottle, a modern water bottle, he might take a sharp object like a pen
and stab it to get it open, whereas you and I have been taught from a young age to twist the top
off. And so we sometimes, and this is why it's so important for visionaries too, though, if you
were the one who felt, oh, well, that's cliche or Doug already knew that, and you're a leader,
you're a visionary, who on your team doesn't know that yet. Who on your team hasn't heard that?
And if we come at people with that, I guess, entitlement of knowledge, you know, or that
correlation with like, oh, well, everybody's already heard this, then what it does to the
people in the room who haven't heard it is it can have an adverse effect on their ability to
to listen. And they may even shy away and leave, because they they worry that, oh, well, I'm not
good enough to be in this environment, because I didn't know that. So thank you for for hearing
me out. Thank you for giving the opportunity for all of us to learn that because it's vision. And
I do this every day to somebody. You know, we all do. And the more we sharpen our abilities to
articulate what we want to accomplish with others for the intent of doing good, the more the more
powerful success we'll have with with them on whatever it is that we're up to.
Yeah, thank you for sharing that. That's I'm going to take that to heart. I tend to be very
be very coachable, which is a good thing. And I think that's something that is is I love and the
clients that I work with the best clients are coachable, and they take a lesson, they go, oh,
ding, ding, ding, I'm going to use that. So that is is well received. And I appreciate you sharing
that. Awesome. And for those of you who are listening in, the landing page will have Dave's
resources for his work, his story work. And if you're in the position to where you haven't focused
on your brand story, or you don't have your brand serratically in a way that is driving people to
organically share what it is you do, I'm not talking about referrals and we'll pay $50 for you
to refer that's not organic. I'm talking about reaching what's called the third moment of truth
that experience where somebody takes a bite of the cereal and they love it so much, they go, honey,
come try this. Right. That's organic. That's what people that's where people are falling in love
with the experience. And Dave has a superpower to unlock that for brands. So definitely,
definitely reach out to him and find out how you can add that superpower to your arsenal, because
if we fail to clarify our vision for those that we are serving, we will, we will fail to inspire
them to take part in that vision. And that is really the centerpiece and foundation of why we've
created this podcast is to help visionaries clarify just that. Dave, thank you for being a shining
example of that. And vision pros, everybody have an excellent weekend. We'll see you on the next
episode. Thank you. Thank you for being here today. I'm really happy that you tuned in to
vision pros live. I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions as these episodes continue to move
forward. This is going to get more and more fun. We'll have more and more engagement as well. We'll
invite people to participate in the show. And thank you for giving us your time and attention.
Have an excellent time.