pronounce his last name Alex s big in the podcast world, but
okay, it can be difficult. Okay, so your podcast and your podcast
will let's drop the link to for it. What's the name of it?
Well, it's on YouTube. I know it was a video. It was actually a
video web series called Anderson Street. So it's Anderson Street
TV.
Okay, so was the one and that's the one that was your favorite
for sure. And that's my favorite. If you have a favorite
episode, do me a favor, drop it in the comments. That way,
everybody can can go check it out. And I'd love to as well. So
that'll be fun. And yes, they're listen, they're controversial
topics. That was the whole point. Allah Jeffersonian dinner.
That was the format. Wait, we like ready. Yeah, be ready.
Everybody ready for that. All right. Welcome in to vision
pros live with Jackson Calame. I'm your show host, we'll be
doing interviews for visionary entrepreneurs and guest leaders
who are building fantastic visions out there.
Hey, what's up vision pros and welcome into another episode of
vision pros live. I'm your host, Jackson Calame, founder and CEO
of first class business. Excited to have Victoria Cumberbatch,
Vicki, once you get to know her, of course, she's gonna be
awesome. We're gonna be talking about what it is to be a
facilitator, especially in terms of business and then how that
works. Why somebody should want to work with a strategist and do
I really need a coach? You know, and no, if you want your life to
suck, you don't. I'll be honest about that right now. But we'll
be covering that a little bit further later. I see Vicki laughing
in the background right now about that. So, whoo, we're gonna
have some fun talking about that. Alright, so without further
ado, let's talk about the sponsors a little bit. So I
can't make her live. And why do I do this? Some people hate the
whole idea of sponsors. I get it. I mean, like if you're just
paid to promote somebody, that's one thing. But my sponsors are
here because I love them. Like that's what I enjoy what they've
given to my life. And in some respects, sometimes my sponsors
are people who I actually, you know, I do get paid to work with
them. And I do get paid to promote their businesses. But I
wouldn't do that for somebody that I didn't care about and
something that I didn't enjoy and wasn't benefiting from
myself. So keep that in mind. There's also other sponsors that
I've brought on that do not pay me. I just love the value that
they provide. And it's a value for both my guests to know those
entities and keep them in their little black book, as well as
for every single person who's listening. So I can make her
live.com is hosted by Tom Mattson and Cheryl Plouffe. And
Danelle, I'm sorry, I forgot about Danelle. And I shouldn't
because she's amazing. And she's behind the scenes. She's a
Wizard of Oz for what they do, but actually like does great
things. Not the Wizard of Oz who's fake. She's the one that
runs the event and make sure that everybody has a great time
while they're there. She is phenomenal at running events. So
if you're into event management, and you need that if you are
looking to launch a podcast and make seven figures while doing
so, if you need mentorship for how to raise money for doing so,
or if you if you've ever said the word, I don't know if I have
the money for that, then you're in a position where you need to
raise money, by the way, Tom Mattson is one of the best
teachers I've ever learned from about how to raise money and how
to position yourself into a conversation to where people
actually want to promote the cause that you're doing. So I
can't speak highly enough about that or talk about the importance
of that enough because most of the people that listen to this
show are probably people who aspire to fulfill their vision.
And if you're not investing in it, guess what? You have a dream,
not a vision. Vision is something you actually sacrifice
and work towards building is something you invest in. So
without further ado, let's go to cap show. Cap show is how we
generate the notes for our shows. It's the number one AI
tool for creating show notes and creating content as ranked by
digitalmarketer.com digitalmarketer.com. There's a
reason they own that.com. Ryan Dice has built an amazing
company. The fact that they state that's cool. But what's
even more cool is you can go to cap show, you can get a free
trial. I always say get the free trial, go in there, upload a
couple of pieces of your audio or video content and then click
as fast as you can on all the little buttons. Put your
copywriter, your AI copywriter to work. And it's going to take
a few minutes or a few seconds for each one of those, but it's
going to create soundbites for you. It's going to create blog
posts for you. It's going to create Twitter, Facebook,
LinkedIn, YouTube titles, descriptions, just go on a, on a
click tirade and click everything that you can and then
go back and read the book that it put together, read the
content that it put together for your brand. And now instead of
creating content from scratch, you have the ability to edit it,
to make sure that it comes out exactly how you speak. But the
cool thing is the content has pulled from your tone already.
It's a powerful resource. I highly recommend it. It can
speed up your process. As worst case, you try the, you try the
trial thing out and you're like, well, I'm just not ready to
implement this or I don't want to use this yet. Cancel, you're
good. They have a phenomenal community as well. That's my
favorite thing about cap show is the leaders are really dedicated
to helping every single person win. They have these community
events. They do these special guests promotions as well. They
show you what you should be doing in the podcast world to
win. Again, I can't speak highly enough of those two entities.
That's why we do it. The water project as well. The water
project is near and dear to my heart. I would feel very
responsible life. If I went about my day getting done what I
want to do, you know, with my first world problems and forgot
about the millions of people in the world who don't even have
access to clean drinking water. The water projects are great
opportunity to give back. They show you exactly where your
money is going towards. They show you the progress of the
community project. You get to see, for instance, the bore
hole well that people build for themselves with the engineering
support they receive. You get to see the sand dams that they
create and the people doing the work to make that happen. And
next thing you know, you've got a community of 500 people who
did not have clean drinking water with access to clean
drinking water that keeps their kids in schools, keeps the
community from fighting with each other. You can imagine the
turmoil. How would you feel if you did not have access to water
today? You know, what type of position would that put you in
society? I probably wouldn't be the nicest, friendliest person
in the world if I had to deal with that. So if you can give a
dollar, $10, $10, $10,000, whatever you can to the water
project, please do. If you have a better project to support with
your own opinion, then by all means share the share comment
with a link to what you like to support. And while you're at it,
give back to that entity. Life's about giving. That's how we
receive the most amount of happiness in my humble opinion.
So without further ado, I'm going to introduce Victoria
Cumberbatch. She has an amazing background. I'm going to start
a little bit out of order here. 65 countries she's lived in and
been immersed or in 65 countries. Do you realize the
amount of wisdom that comes from somebody who's had access to
that many different culture types? Just mind blowing to me.
So Vic's experience up to now is often viewed as a cat with nine
lives. I'm going to read this too. There's just so much depth
to somebody who's lived in 65 countries. She's formally
educated in government and politics, managing communities,
spanning the fledgling Central American Hostel to a global
medical student group, practicing improv and doing the
van life during the pandemic as well. Coaching individuals
through transformation, facilitating holotropic breath
work sessions and designing and facilitating workshops as well.
She's a strong, compassionate, exuberant leader. I've seen that
myself who brings a decade of flavorful know-how and bringing
engaging, invigorating, and resonant experiences to life.
And she firmly believes in the transformative power of
connection, creativity and community with a mission to
create spaces where people can connect, grow, collaborate and
confidently take action toward their dreams. So without
further ado, Victoria, thank you so much for being on Vision
Press Live.
What a time to be alive. Thank you for that intro. It was read
beautifully.
Ooh, thank you. I love that. What a time to be alive indeed.
Absolutely. So those of you who are listening right now, let's
honor that time. Who should listen? Why should they listen
to you, Victoria? And what are they going to get out today's
show?
Who should listen are people that are interested in learning
something every day, people that are learners and always humble,
right? I never know it all. I'm always willing to glean some
grain of rice information to an immense ocean of information. Who
knows everything in between. Why they should listen. I'm full of
personality. I'm kidding. I'm not. But they should listen
because I have a lot of really cool experiences to share. I've
been through a lot of things. I've studied a lot of things and
I enjoy engaging in conversation. I mean, that is the
true way to learn, in my opinion. If schools were just like discussion
series events, I think that and plus mind mapping of some kind,
that would be the school of choice. And what are you going to
get out of today's show? Mystery and surprise. Let us see what we
shall create.
Absolutely. Right. And of course, those who are listening, you
know, our series of questions guides that we're gonna be
diving deep into vision, how that unfolds and how she impacts
that. And as I mentioned, we're gonna be talking about this
facilitated role, strategist and coach thing in just a minute as
well. But without further ado, what's your vision for those
that you serve in 30 seconds?
Okay, well, my vision for the world is to curate spaces that
create connection through community collaboration and
creativity. So for those that I serve, it would be those things
in order to get toward breakthroughs and empowering
people to recognize their own crown. You always have it on.
You're completely whole and fully capable and resourceful.
Let us help each other get there.
I love that. Okay. Very good. No, you nailed it. And so in terms
of how you can serve people with your greatest capacity, what is
that? What does that ideal audience look like? What is
somebody facing or community or organization facing where they'd
be like, Oh, my gosh, we need Vicki to come in. Yeah, it would
be so the two that come to mind is those that I coach through
transformation and those that I work with in facilitation. With
coaching, it would really primarily be women wanting to
soften, really, you know, to put it super simply, women that have
felt they energetically approach life from a masculine
perspective, striving drive ambition, you know, lean in
Sheryl Sandberg, I must I have to, I have to do it all. I'm a
CEO and a CEO in the house. Those women that are being
called toward harmonizing, balancing their lives by tapping
a bit more into the feminine aspect, which is softening
instead of striving, open timeline versus deadline.
Forecasting instead of stringent goals, collaboration over
competition, these things, really, it's more the youth
more the yin and yang, you know, what you have in the dark, you
must have in the light, as opposed to like, man and woman.
Okay, so it would be those women seeking some harmony. And how
do I get back to me and recognize the resources that I
already have? How can I shelve all of the masks and stories that
perpetuate imposter syndrome uncertainty? I don't want to
vocalize what I think or believe because I don't really know the
women that say I'm sorry before they start a sentence. Right?
Like, that's not what we want to perpetuate going forward in, in
our world. So we get to work together. So let me speculate a
little bit on that. And my speculation, feel free to destroy
it, challenge it, do whatever you want with it. Okay, let's go.
What's like burning in my heart is without losing their power.
Correct? Oh, 1000%. That's the okay, okay. Because I can see
that I was like, you know, I see these people, men and women,
right, who are so determined to showcase their power. It's like
a lion who's roaring constantly. And it's like, why you're
already powerful. You're not showing you're, you're showing
your fear by doing that.
God, yes. Yes, you're absolutely right. And that is why it is a
harmonious relationship as opposed to, I'm really
masculine. And now I need to be really feminine. And whoever you
are, however you approach the game, right, man, woman,
otherwise. So it's about how can I weave both in and find where
I sit my unique seat. So what comes to mind is, I also mess
around with tower. Can I curse or what?
You can lightly. Okay. Yeah.
I know you can. I mean, you can. I'm not one to give
permissions like this your show.
Okay, I just want to make sure. Um, so sweet. Tarot and Oracle
cards. And there's a tarot card called strength. It's a major
arcana card. And on the card is the visual. It's always this
visual based off right away, is a woman calm, cool collected with
her hand on top of a tamed lion. And that's, that would be the
visual of what breakthroughs and transformation and empowerment I
want to see women have. I have the strength of this lion, but I
got it. It's on me. I choose when, when they roar when he's
tame. So that's that. And thank you for bringing that visual up
because I hadn't actually thought of that before. And then
I inspired it with facilitation. You know, a facilitator is
someone that I mean, the main role of facilitator is someone
that brings a group together and helps them plan, guide, be
guided toward or manage an event to get toward their goals. So
they are otherwise unable to have done so, or they want a
third party to assist them in pushing forward. So you can have
facilitators for design sprints, you know, hackathons, any sort
of things like that for a company, you could have a
facilitator managing different workshops at a company offsite
or retreat. My flavor, of course, is along this like, how
can we transform without like, it being too woo woo in the
professional space, you know what I'm saying, because I'm
woo woo. Mine are really about authentic leadership. And that
what comes up in there is how to nix blurry language. Let's do
this, we should do this. Who's doing what, let's be clear in
our communication and how to do that. Authentic leadership is
also how to have hard conversations, how to take
accountability, how to give real feedback, which I believe I
mean, we can have a whole conversation about my thoughts
on accountability not being taken in this place. But
bringing that back to the floor. Cultural awareness, stemming
know, it's annoying is not what doing it all.
No, well, but when your team or when those around you don't feel
like they can hold you accountable. And trying to help
them realize, you know, like, that you want it that you need
it. And that that is one of the greatest challenges I think
most entrepreneurs face is learning how to facilitate the
ability to get constructive real feedback from those who work
with you directly.
Well, yes. And, well, yeah, and it's, it's a societal, systemic
generational, whoa, of miscommunication, and miss
labeled responsibility for saying what it is you need.
And so when you say, Whoa, when you use that word, I think
scripture biblical context, okay, well, well, meaning, holy
crap, despair, right? That what you mean by that? Yeah, I caught
that I want to make sure I find it despicable and deeply
saddening. Yeah, because it doesn't need to be. No, it
doesn't need to be the case. No, it doesn't. Yeah, well said. I
love that. We'll leave that up for for another book to be
unpacked. Okay. And let's dive into real quick. Let's switch
gears a little bit. What's your personal vision at this point in
your life? Vicki? What do you see for yourself? Five, 10, 15
years down the road? Oh, because she doesn't look that far. I'll
tell you that. Um, the vision that I have for my life, what do
you mean by that? Actually, it's I really don't like to be
in the timeline. I don't like to put myself in the timeline
holes. I really don't. I don't because it's that. Yeah, it adds
really undue stress. I do forecast and I do short sprints,
season, season, year max. But if we're being I will I can play
I can ball you know what I'm saying I can ball. I want to
live in authentic connection, harmony and joy. And with that
I am financially secure. I'm in a loving and committed and
conscious partnership. I am a parent. I am in community. And
by in community, I mean, I can actually go to my friend's
house at 7pm in tears and say I don't know but I need you right
now. That's what I mean. Not this like, yeah, I have
community but it's fake as hell. I'm not I'm from Jersey. I
don't have the time.
I'm gonna start saying that for myself even though not from
doing I love it. Right. Right. That's awesome. Okay. No,
that's just beautiful. And I understand that box in the
timeline of I think I've had one person, you know, give a
similar style answer. And I love it of, you know, I want to
keep enjoying the journey, right? An extension of the
here and now, you know, basically and making sure that we
live for the moment, not like you said, put ourselves in this
position where we're trying to accomplish things that are
there's so many variables that we can't control. And if we
become addicted to those outcomes, we can end up in a
miserable position. True or false? Jackson. Yes, this
changed during the pandemic when absolutely everything went,
you know, heads up wild round the block, who knows what's
happening. And I, I'm a Capricorn, I come from a set of
married parents that are together that, you know, worked
in civil service. My mom was a teacher for friggin 40 years.
My dad was a cop first black every rank in Hoboken. So like
career people, right? legacy people, and I give back. And
that's what I knew to be true. So and I'm a Capricorn. So I
tend toward action. If I'm not doing something's wrong. I who
I want to coach is me. So I have approached life in this
masculine drive time, I don't have it. Time is linear. I must
complete this in order to be someone I have to if I don't
reach this ideal that I set for myself, I have failed mindset.
And it's because of the pandemic where I had to slow
down and be like nothing that I thought was good. Everything
has been delayed, postponed, shelved, nixed. Right, like
thought I wanted to do van life for three years. I did it for
a year. But within 20 minutes, I was like, Oh, I don't think
this is gonna work. And I persevered because I thought I
should. Like, that's what I don't want anymore. And so that
is what has gotten me to answering questions about time
in that way. Because I don't know, I have a lot of things I
want to accomplish. And when they arrive will be when they
arrive. That's right. I like that. I, I always say I
changed, I used to like the quote, begin with the end in
mind. Like the quote, begin with the vision in mind, like
what I can actually see, you know, and striving towards
that a little safer, a little more practical as well. And
personal, super personal and intimate with you. Yeah,
exactly. Every time I think about that, I extract new
little realities about how that that just resonates in my
heart. So let's talk. Let's go. Let's go dark for a minute. Oh
yeah. Is your worst business experience ever? What's that
worst business experience ever for those listening? And who
didn't see on the screen? Oh, damn. Oh, no. My worst. Whoops,
sorry. My worst business experience as an entrepreneur
only. Sure. Now you can take us wherever you want. I mean, as
an entrepreneur, it was like, oh my god, not, not really
honing in on what it is I wanted to do in the world. And
so how to encapsulate that in a sentence. And it was on not a
podcast, but you know, kind of a conversation back and forth
where I was given questions that I should have definitely
known these answers to of like, what are you about? What's
your vision? Like these things and I stumble still skinned
through it and I felt, oh, it was all me. And I learned that I
had to sit down with myself and get and get some clarity. And I
was completely embarrassed, ashamed. I just kept
apologizing. I was totally in that. I suck. Wow. I suck at
this. I shouldn't do this anymore. I don't even know who
I'm here. You know, that hole. So not my favorite. It was like
a not an interview, but with a potential client at like the
start of when I was like, I'm gonna work for myself. LOL.
Don't know what I'm doing, but here we are. They said dive in.
I'm gonna dive and I dived and it was laughable. You hit the
concrete. Yeah, I hit the concrete with my face. So yeah,
definitely learned from that. What happened? How did you not
give up? You know, and what did you I mean, what did you feel
after the fact and how long did it take you to bounce back? I
thought surely people are gonna like find out because this was
when I was consulting as a community consultant and also a
mentor for like newbie community managers. So like I have this
experience in this one lane within community really. And I
can speak to community at large, but my experience is here. And
I acted like my experience was here. So I felt like a fraud. I
felt ashamed and embarrassed. I thought everyone's gonna find
out about everyone's gonna find out about me that she's a
fraud and Vicky loves to talk and she's on everything, but
she don't know nothing. I thought that was gonna be like
the prevailing commentary. I actually after I don't know,
maybe two weeks, I ended up hitting that person back up via
email. And I use beep so I can voice note in my emails because
anytime I can use my voice, I prefer. And I basically told
told them that I said I fucked up. And here's why. And
here's what I learned. And I'm not trying to get another job. I
just wanted to actually thank you for giving me that hard
lesson that I don't know. I don't know what other like
larger stage or something I would have been on stumbling
looking a fool. And I'm glad it was like between you and me. So
it ended up being all right, you know, but in those like two
week period, I was melancholic. I was blue.
Wow. That's and you're not alone. You know, I think you
know that at this point, but I'm gonna voice it. And I think
but still tell me we're going to hear this. Absolutely. No, I've
absolutely been there. You know, and I and not once. Many times
in life, we find ourselves in that scenario. And sometimes it
comes from a position of ignorance. You know, where we're
like, Oh, dang, I know a lot less than I thought. You know,
but sometimes it comes from a little bit of an apathy, where
we're like, I can figure this out, you know, or I'll be able
to make up for this. Yeah, and sometimes, you know, sometimes
we can't. But that that's human. And sometimes that leads to our
best opportunities. I took a job once. It was 21. It was a temp
job. And I could tell the one thing they wanted to make me
sure of is that I knew how to do PowerPoint. You know, oh,
yeah, I got that. Absolutely. And so I go home, and I go,
honey, quick, what's PowerPoint? Like I didn't even know. I had
never used it before. So yeah, I had no idea how to go to the
slideshow. And so I spent my night learning how to do it and
build it. And I came back with that thing done. And they were
like, you got the job. This is awesome. Why don't you do with
all of them? And I was like, Oh, I had the opposite effect. It
worked. You know, it made the difference at the time. But, you
know, the reason why I'm bringing up the positive on
that is, I don't think you're an evil person for what you
strived to do, trying to get that position and help you had a
good intent, you wanted to help. Right. And at the same time,
you owned the reality of, of you know, what felt was probably
kind of like a misconception or you you you miss represented
what it was you're able to do. And there's a there's a fine
line. And I think there's a lot of gray in life in terms of
what's absolute truth and what's not because that company would
not have had the PowerPoints of my quality. Had I not gone and
learned how to use that stupid tool tool didn't matter. The
person did in that case, right? Sometimes it does. And we do
have to know when Oh, we're putting people at risk. And I
can't say, Hey, I can figure that surgery out. You know,
like there's there's certain right. Because these do get
degrees. Yeah, yes. Yes, they do. So what's your best
experience in business?
I like how pensive you are. I appreciate it because the
abrupt questions I'm like, Oh, God. All right. Right. In the
spot with it. There's a lot of there's a lot of great things
that have happened in life, I'm sure. So picking ones there
are okay, the one I'm going to pick is actually so I created
and ran co ran a retreat in Dominican Republic in April,
which feels like a lifetime ago. And it was the first time I
did any of the above like retreat and went to DR and like
all these things. And it was excellent. Also for the
learning. I guess you can tell I'm a total learner. I'm like,
let's always just see what grain I could grab out of here.
But I felt like there was this zeitgeist about retreats, like
people in the like spiritual wellness world.
The world perspective. Yes. Thank you. What people believe
about it. Got it. Yes. And that retreats is the thing. And
like, so I thought, let me get into the thing and be trendy
with it for like a moment and see. Yeah. And it was my big
juicy goal from this transformational leadership
program I was doing. So I had to do it. I had people were
holding me accountable seriously. And is another example
of like day one, I thought, ooh, I don't think I want to
really do this going forward, but let's see what happens. And
I did this with my best friend, Katrina. And our relationship
strengthened. We realized how much work goes into this and
that it takes more than two people in an ideal world to
manage everything, including the linguistic challenges, okay,
the timing challenges, the things breaking when you're in
the third world challenges, right, like I could go down the
list, which like should have known but was helpful. Well,
but and yeah, yeah, I mean, the workshops that I presented,
which were the first time that I did them were slam dunks and
also severely intense, like very intense for people. So I
learned, you know, it's got to be a little bit of a drop,
drop, drop, dive versus.
So we're talking like, I'm a basketball guy, Blake Griffin,
slam dunking on Paul Gasol three times in a row, you know,
and yeah, I was hurt. And his ego's crushed instead of
feeling I'm not the point of a retreat, right, like not calm
and cool. And like we're learning something and back to
calm and cool. Yeah. So it was awesome. The setup was awesome.
The people were awesome. I did it. Yay. I did something new
and challenging. And more importantly, I'd love to be
hired at Retreats, but I don't want to run that shit. Okay.
I'd love to come in and leave.
Yes. Yes. Okay, good. That's awesome. Well, way to way to
tackle that. That is again, it's a very difficult beast to
tackle. It's up there with writing and publishing a book.
And I was one of those things that's, oh, I can just do this,
right? The gist factor comes into play. You're like, oh my
gosh, this is a title of opportunity, risk, problem,
risk outs, problem solving, impossible. Marketing. Let's
just say for what it is also marketing. Right. Just one word.
It's just one word, right? I can't stand that one. Yeah,
that's my, that's my MO. So when I hear marketing, galler
marketing guy, I cringe and I'm like, it's not a person. It's a
department. Please anybody who's claiming that red flag like
run and hide. No such thing. Anyway, I'll back off. Well,
now we know how you really feel. Yeah, for sure. So we're
going to talk about powerful lessons in just a minute. I'll
give you some time on that one. What powerful lesson other
visionaries can learn from your experience. I do want you to
think to that. I want to, there's a public incident that
occurred over this weekend and you could claim that anytime the
jets play football, a public incident has occurred. You know,
I'm sorry, you know, but I'm Zach Wilson. Want to be famous.
So that's, you know, it's hard. But Colin Kaepernick who's
disappeared off the map to an extent, off the map. There's a
lot of controversy there, right? Well, he wrote a letter to the
team. That is a reflection to me of what you talked about in
terms of worst business experience and recovering,
right? Making it right, bringing that forward. I'm not saying
Colin Kaepernick has anything to make right. I don't judge
people. What I am saying is he's leveraging the opportunity
in one of the most powerful sales letters I've ever seen. It
is so good. I'm going to share it live so people can see this.
And if you just go to, if you Google Colin Kaepernick, this
letter is going to pop up for you. And I'm really glad the
owner of the team convinced him to share this. This is just the
back copy of the letter. I don't have the front copy. Oh no,
this is spelled so nevermind. Twitter just has a funky display.
And if you were to utilize this to get yourself back on track
or to get yourself into a winning position as a framework,
it could help you articulate how to spring into the limelight of
championship level behaviors and championship level
opportunities. It doesn't matter where you're at as an
individual. I love the way he formatted this letter and he
facilitates respecting Zach. He facilitates helping them
understand the great caliber of company that they are, brand
name that they are. He talks about how much he knows about
the existing situation. And he did his research to make this
happen. And it's probably not the first time he's done. He
probably is a strategist who's helped him with and that's okay.
But everything about this is a, it's a very live public reality
that's happening right now that validates the wonderful story
that you shared with us. And I hope people take advantage of
it. Amazing. Thank you. I hadn't heard of it or read it. So
I got it up for myself. Oh, it's cool. It's sports junkie
right here, you know, going right into it. I couldn't tell.
Hmm. Okay. Right. Exactly. So let's go into your powerful
lesson. What powerful lesson would you like to share with
those visionaries who are listening that may change their
life, may change their moment, lift them up? For sure. So
something that I coached because I coached myself through it is
basically defining what success means for you. And how I went
about doing that is literally creating a barometer of success
like a linear scale from one to ten. And within, I really love
diagrams as I mentioned earlier, mind mapping. So I just had a
really overwhelmed manic set of months after I had completed
and graduated that transformational program. Really
kind of like a reckoning with myself. Like what am I, what
do I even like? What, how do I determine and measure my own
progress and what am I progressing toward? If I took
out the puzzle piece of society says. Because up to now
society has said a lot of things and I haven't done like
many of them as much as I'd love to be a rule abider in that
way. It turns out I'm not. And I created a mind map really of
really a Venn diagram activities. What I like to do
being how I like how I prefer to feel on a day to day basis.
And then my values. And then I just wrote it. I wrote
everything in there. Absolutely anything. And I stood back and
then I thought, huh, well, if I can feel a sense of contentment
in my day, where might that sit on my view of success for me?
That actually is like more of a seven. It's pretty high for me
because very rarely am I at contentment and very and never
am I at happiness. I'm not a pursuit of happiness person. I
find happiness and oh, are you excited to be super fleeting?
Which is why I tend toward exuberance because it's like a
consistent simmering upbeat level. So I got really clear on
the words that define me. I got clear on what success looks
like aside from just like how much money I make says, you
know, the Western world. Bopping from job to job says society
is this thing, but I decided to reframe my own story. You're
like, wow, I'm a cat with nine lives, right? Like I wrote
that with really great mentors of mine and like how can I
formulate who I am, what I do and how I see whatever is
written there as successful, regardless of what other people
think. And I believe because I get a lot of questions. How do
you stay motivated? How do you do so much? And I think I
honestly believe that a lack of motivation comes from measuring
yourself in the gap. If you've read the gap in the game, you'd
know this. When you measure yourself between where you are
now and where you hope to be, you'll always be losing and
thus you will consistently feel demotivated and deterred to do
more. So you may sit in a hole and become a cash potato. If
you measure yourself in your gain, look at how far I've
come. Everything gets celebrated. We are, we do not
live in a celebratory culture of the small wins equal big
wins of 1% of progress is progress though. We don't live
there. If we did, what might anything look like? What might
our industries look like? What might our systems look like?
What might our family structures look like, right? So
I do honestly believe that it comes from you sitting down
with yourself and defining what success means for just you.
Being, having, doing. Those are the things that get into it. I
love that. I love a lot of what you unpacked in it. Just, you
know, we're sharing these external resources, but I hope
what people are capturing is how golden the book is that's
within you. Bingo. It's there. Like within you, like
specifically Victoria, like you have so much to provide to this
world. And you're so clear and articulate about these
different dynamics that you've come to believe yet you're
humble enough to recognize that you have this constant
opportunity to keep learning. And that's usually, that's what
I see the most intelligent people in the world doing. You
know, as they're continuing to stay feasting, they continue to
feast on what they can learn. Yeah, thank you. I see it. And
those who are listening to, as you know, dive deep within
yourself to figure that out. Maybe you don't have to dive
deep, but grab a piece of paper maybe and start writing down
like what is success to you? You know, and I love that you use
the gap again. I haven't read the book, but I've heard it
referenced several times and I grasp the concept quite fast as
you talk about it. Yep. I definitely live by that. And
it's what drives peace for me. Yeah, I'm also grateful that
you acknowledge that, you know, not many people would admit
that what you said, and then we'll misinterpret what you said
about happiness. You know, but you brought up a very valid
truth. I think most of us relate to it. But I know a lot of
people who are scared to admit it. About the fleeting aspect.
Fleeting aspect. Yeah, we're not guaranteed happiness in this
life. No, there's no guarantee of it. I've lived a life.
Mostly, I don't want to say deprived of it, but without the
ability and understanding of how to access it and without the
blessing of it. You know, like it's so it's one of those
things that I'm grateful when it comes. Right. Grateful when it
comes, but aware of the reality that there and some people,
those who are getting ready to challenge that and plan on
revealing this and I want to keep it sacred and off the
table for the most part. But my stepmom passed away on Sunday.
And I found out yesterday my brother called me.
Step brother. We will be family for life. Always. You know,
because of the relationship and bond that we formed. And so
when you're going through something like that, you and
ironically, my sister, my half sister, she two days before he
told me, no, the day before she sent me a video of Andy
Grammer and Andy Grammer in this video says he's sharing
about running into your grief like head on, but in a positive
way. And he says, you know, he was he'll be in the grocery
store line. They'll say, you know, hey, you remind me of my
mom. My mom just passed away. Do you mind if I buy groceries?
I can't do that for her anymore. And the touching
experience that can occur with that. I mean, he did another
place. The same thing. The lady said, you remind me of my
son and my son just passed away. And next thing you know,
they're bawling and they're sharing this experience
together. And so I, you know, I received that right before
getting the news about my step mom and thinking about all the
things that I wanted to do, you know, to to facilitate our
relationship, we had started the process. Okay, there are
certain things that we didn't get to go over like, how much
she strived to help my dad with me, like we work so hard on
finding on facilitating his light. And so anyway, you've
inspired that share, because at the end of the day, while
while happiness is something that's hard to come across
when you're going through something like that. I have
peace. I have that nobody can take my peace from me only I
can. And so that's the that's the main sentiment that I that
I go for in life sentiment. And thank you so much for sharing
that. I'm so sorry for your loss and peace, ease, hope. Those
feel fulfillment, reverence, those virtues. Yeah, yeah, they
feel heavy enough that I can like, place on to me and feel
their power where Yeah, some of these flippant words we use,
they don't hold it. Right. And I would also challenge you. I'll
challenge you on this happiness has its place in the virtue
category. But I think sometimes we redefine our language. You
know, like we redefine them terms of mean like when we first
learn about love, right, and we fall in love, we know we were
trying to figure that out as kids like what that means, as
adults, we're still trying to figure it out. We just think we
have we like to justify it, right. But we tell somebody, I
love you, because we want something from them, right, you
know, there might be an element of truth to it. But at the same
time, right, as a little kid, you learn to say things that
that gets you things in return, you're not necessarily
leveraging the virtue in the right way. No, you know, you're
you're learning the process. So I think happiness is one of
those things too, where we I've had friends that think fun is
happiness. It's not there's a reason there's two different
words. I see. Yeah, I see. Yeah, yes. Point of reference.
Yes, point received. And not to be argued with. There are
several words actually that and small phrases in this year
alone that have turned a coin for me like have new meaning.
New definition for me. And if someone were to ask willing to
get in the conversation, but you know, how often are we doing
this on the street? Like, what's your definition of rigor? You
know, it's like never so but I know it for myself. And that
feels like good enough. I love that. Well, my my final, I'm
just gonna put a plug in for you. Because you've created a
safe space for me to jointly talk about you these talk about
these topics with you. You facilitated, you know, and
co facilitated this podcast with me quite well. And you also
have a depth of understanding when it comes to strategy and
how to make sure that that engagements like this are on
point. I can see how you could do that for an organization as
well. And when it comes to coaching, right, the ability to
both provide feedback and mold and just the situation, you
have all that. So if there are organizations out there that
are striving to create change or in a position where change
seems difficult or impossible to achieve, find the world would
they hesitate to bring you in and to help facilitate the
process of understanding how to go about that, rather than risk
blowing the entire thing up by doing it without a
facilitator. You know, I'd rather turn to somebody that
I've I've heard about recently gotten to see an action and
your your cultural background is so needed right now in a
world where companies aren't working with a local
department. We're working with multiple nations, multiple
people who travel around the world to earn an influence by
all sorts of cultures. You're way ahead of the curve. So
where can we get in touch with you if if we want to reach
out? You can email me V at adventures of community.com same
website adventures of community.com Instagram
adventures of community. I mean, let's call it branding or
what? Okay, so you can find me in the places LinkedIn,
Victoria, Cumberbatch. Okay, all those places. Awesome. All
those places. It has been wonderful to host you. If
anybody has any questions for Victoria, don't hesitate to
leave it in the comment on the on the show while we'll get to
those. We'll facilitate them as they come in and also like I
said, don't hesitate to reach out to her directly and on and
just strike up a conversation about what your potential needs
are. If you got an event, you got a company, department,
whatever, and we appreciate having you on the show is there
I'm gonna give you one more one more chance since we've got
we're a little bit over. But I'm enjoying your vibe. Okay,
final piece of of wisdom you'd like to share with the
audience.
Thank you. My final piece of wisdom is from my dad, Simeon
Cumberbatch, the man, the legend, and he always used to
say, know your resources and don't be afraid to ask. Lean
in to support, request what you need. We do not need to be
individualistic. We get to be in community and
collaboration. Lean in, be vulnerable to say, hey, I'm
having a hard spot. This is what I need. Can you help? People
won't know unless you let them know. I love it. Vision
Pros. I hope you follow that. I invite you to to do so and we
will see you on the next episode. Thanks, everybody.
Thank you. It's been a pleasure. Thank you for being
here today. I'm really happy that you tuned in to Vision
Pros Live. I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions as
these episodes continue to move forward. This is gonna get
more and more fun. We'll have more and more engagement as
well. We'll invite people to participate in the show and
thank you for giving us your time and attention. Have an
excellent time building out.