1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,680 If we reach 10 and it makes a difference, 2 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:03,920 then that's what it's all about. 3 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:05,720 So I'm glad you resonate with that. 4 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:06,560 I mean, it's a lot. 5 00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:07,520 I do resonate with that. 6 00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:10,200 And that's another reason I want people to, you know, 7 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,120 really go for what they want in life 8 00:00:12,120 --> 00:00:13,800 because when they're happier, 9 00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:16,440 the ripple effect of that is unending. 10 00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:17,280 We post my... 11 00:00:20,240 --> 00:00:24,080 All right, welcome in to Vision Pros Live. 12 00:00:24,080 --> 00:00:26,480 I'm Jackson Calame, I'm your show host. 13 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:29,520 We'll be doing interviews for visionary entrepreneurs 14 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:31,640 and guests, guest leaders 15 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:33,920 who are building fantastic visions out there. 16 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:37,160 Ultimately, I just want to go through some of the things 17 00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:39,000 that might help you with your vision. 18 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:41,040 So if you have a vision that you're pursuing, 19 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:43,320 drop a link in the comments and let us know what that is. 20 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:45,680 If that's a business or a brand, 21 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:49,360 if it's a nonprofit that you run, 22 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:51,880 be happy to promote it, be happy to talk to you about it. 23 00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:53,720 And if you'd like to apply to be on Vision Pros 24 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,240 and be interviewed about that vision, 25 00:00:55,240 --> 00:01:00,240 by all means, feel free to reach out. 26 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:17,080 Woo-hoo-hoo! 27 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:19,240 Welcome in to Vision Pros Live. 28 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:21,160 I'm your host, Jackson Calame, 29 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:23,520 founder and CEO of First Class Business. 30 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:24,560 I want to give a quick shout out 31 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:27,680 to our sponsors, Aepiphanni and Converge, 32 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:29,480 their sister company with Rick Meekins 33 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:32,560 fantastic business consultants for businesses 34 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:36,040 with 30 plus employees and ablehealth.us. 35 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:38,000 Dr. Seth Yates has done an awesome job 36 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,280 of building a program that allows people to access 37 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:41,840 the benefits of a natural path 38 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,680 without having to go into a physical office, 39 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:47,200 which is pretty awesome from, 40 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:49,000 in my humble opinion, if you will. 41 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:50,560 Now, without further ado, 42 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:53,300 I have an excellent guest who's super loving. 43 00:01:53,300 --> 00:01:57,800 If you're a nurturer, if you are in a midlife crisis 44 00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:01,220 or you're looking ahead at what midlife could look like, 45 00:02:01,220 --> 00:02:04,320 then it's going to be awesome to hear what Cindy has to say. 46 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:06,000 Cindy Whitmer is going to be on here 47 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,340 with me in just a minute. 48 00:02:07,340 --> 00:02:08,640 I want to give a quick shout out though 49 00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:10,340 to the Water Project as well. 50 00:02:10,340 --> 00:02:12,120 If you have a dollar to give away 51 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:14,000 or you have a thousand dollars to give away today 52 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,440 to people who need water, 53 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:17,000 I highly recommend the Water Project 54 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:20,920 because it's probably not fun. 55 00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:23,960 It's probably scary to go without clean filter 56 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:27,680 drinking water and to not know where you're going to get 57 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:29,560 the next water you need to take a bath, 58 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:33,600 to wash your hands, to provide for your family. 59 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:36,640 And they do a really good job of tracking and showing you, 60 00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:37,960 okay, here's where your money went 61 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,840 and here's how they're using that 62 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:40,680 and here's what they're doing 63 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:42,240 to empower those local communities 64 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:45,400 to create sustainable water for their needs. 65 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:48,780 And since we don't have to deal with that on a daily basis, 66 00:02:48,780 --> 00:02:50,520 I try to constantly remember 67 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:52,120 that there are many people in the world 68 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,960 who don't have access to the luxuries 69 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:57,000 and even the necessities that we do. 70 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,200 So please give back. 71 00:02:58,200 --> 00:02:59,800 Water Project's a great way to do it 72 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:01,800 or find your own way to give back. 73 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:03,440 Anyway, without further ado, 74 00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:05,040 I'm gonna bring Cindy Whitmer on board 75 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:06,680 and while I talk to her, 76 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:10,040 I'm also going to pull some aspects of her bio 77 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:12,400 and we'll be including that in the recap show notes as well. 78 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:15,520 So Cindy, it is so great to have you here today. 79 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:16,760 Thank you for joining me. 80 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:18,000 Oh, thank you. 81 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,920 It's great to see you, Jackson. 82 00:03:19,920 --> 00:03:21,120 Likewise. 83 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:24,800 So Cindy and I met about two months ago now 84 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,920 and in our conversation, it was just, 85 00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:30,800 to me it was so evident how deep her EQ was, 86 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:32,160 her emotional intelligence 87 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:35,560 and her ability to connect with a stranger, 88 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:38,360 help me feel those warm fuzzy feelings of like, 89 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:39,520 wow, I'm in a safe place 90 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,680 and I'm with somebody I really appreciate. 91 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:46,000 And her website also showcased a lot of her professionality 92 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,080 of her 30 years of professional experience 93 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:51,160 in counseling, coaching and personal development. 94 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:54,280 And what really struck me too, I'm not gonna lie, 95 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:56,200 the authority and credibility aspect came in 96 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,320 when I learned that she learned 97 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:00,440 and certified with Jack Canfield 98 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:03,920 and has been studying and working under him and his program 99 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:08,040 and with people related to him as a long part of her journey. 100 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,800 And he's done so much for this world. 101 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:10,880 If you don't know who that is, 102 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:12,920 that'll also be in the show notes. 103 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:15,520 But Cindy, let's just talk about that for a little bit. 104 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:16,840 Here he is actually. 105 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,360 Here's Jack Canfield. 106 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:19,880 Why is he so important? 107 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:22,120 And feel free to, good, bad, ugly, 108 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:24,720 is anything you wanna share there, feel free to do so. 109 00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:29,000 Well, I think what impresses me about Jack the most 110 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:33,440 is that he walks his, you know, he lives what he teaches. 111 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:37,280 I mean, he's a true transformational coach 112 00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:39,960 because he lives what he teaches 113 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,720 and he spent his entire life, you know, 114 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:44,800 his adult life helping people 115 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:48,200 really step into their highest selves 116 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:51,400 and create a life that's meaningful. 117 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:56,680 And he's, I mean, I could go on the rest of the day 118 00:04:56,680 --> 00:05:00,120 about this man, but he's really been a guiding light 119 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:02,320 for me personally and professionally. 120 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:07,320 And yeah, he's very wise. 121 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:12,240 He's very, he knows how to bring 122 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:16,160 really inspirational concepts to a practical level 123 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:18,360 and teach them well. 124 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:23,360 And he's actually a teddy bear, but don't tell him I said so. 125 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:26,000 I won't, I mean, we have to. 126 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:30,160 $1 million, you know, he sold 500 million books, 127 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:33,560 you know, suit and tie guy, but yet he's not. 128 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:37,400 He's like this nice, warm, you know, 129 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:40,720 strumming on his guitar with his, you know, 130 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:43,320 his comfortable shirt on and you know what I mean? 131 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:44,160 He's just, 132 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:45,680 Let's put those books in perspective. 133 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:47,280 That's only half a billion. 134 00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:48,120 Okay. 135 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:48,960 Yeah, it's just a half a billion. 136 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,600 I mean, it's no big deal really. 137 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,880 I mean, he's only in every language on the earth. 138 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:54,200 And well, every, 139 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,680 I mean, pull that testimonial up, please. 140 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:57,520 One more time. 141 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:58,840 Let's go right back to it. 142 00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:01,560 I want to see because you have a testimonial 143 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,960 from Jack Canfield. 144 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:07,800 And those aren't necessarily easy to come by. 145 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,720 They're also not necessarily hard to come by, 146 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:12,200 but I don't think he's willing to do that for just anybody. 147 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,040 So Jaime is going to pull that up. 148 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,360 We're going to take a quick read through that as well, 149 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:18,880 because I think it's very important for people to understand 150 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,600 that when you're endorsed by somebody like Jack Canfield, 151 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,240 you've worked to tell off to build amazing. 152 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:26,640 But let's see if I can expand this on my screen. 153 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:28,240 Ooh, the first time I've done that, cool. 154 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:29,480 This compelling book. 155 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:30,720 So he's talking about your book. 156 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,800 Which book is Jack talking about? 157 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:35,200 He's talking about this one, 158 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,520 the midlife makeover method. 159 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:39,040 Yeah, it came out last year. 160 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:41,840 It became a bestselling book on Amazon. 161 00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:43,640 And yeah, that's what he's talking about. 162 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:47,040 Awesome. So the midlife makeover method 163 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,880 takes us on a journey to the trials and tribulations 164 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:52,600 of midlife for the author and many other women 165 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:55,360 who all learned how to change the trajectory of their lives 166 00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:57,480 using the midlife makeover method. 167 00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:01,280 Miss Whitmer offers a way out of the struggles to midlife 168 00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:03,880 into one that is joy filled, meaningful, 169 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:05,840 and leaves the reader looking forward to the future 170 00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:09,240 instead of dreading it. 171 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:11,520 That is just awesome. 172 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:15,200 So happy that he wrote that and put context around this 173 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:18,000 for those who know, like, and trust Jack. 174 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:21,920 So with that said, you may not be going through midlife yet. 175 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:22,920 I'm not. 176 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:25,240 I don't think I am, at least. 177 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:28,280 And at the same time, I've learned some hard lessons 178 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:29,720 along the way that taught me maybe it's 179 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:31,840 wise to look over the hilltop. 180 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:34,600 Maybe it's wise to pay attention to what's 181 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:38,320 down my 10, 15, 20-year track path. 182 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:41,680 So without further ado, beyond the fact 183 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:44,400 that I'm saying, hey, younger folks, you should listen, 184 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:45,840 Cindy, who should listen? 185 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,520 Why should they be listening to you? 186 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:49,600 And what are they going to get out of today's show, 187 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:51,400 do you think? 188 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:54,560 Well, I mean, I hope anybody will listen 189 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:59,000 that's interested in living a fully happy, healthy, successful 190 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,000 life. 191 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:04,080 But I tend to draw in women in midlife 192 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:09,520 who are having kind of a crisis, what we call a midlife crisis, 193 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:14,920 and want something more and just don't know how to get there. 194 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:20,240 And lucky for me, I have, over all my professional training, 195 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:23,520 but also my own work on myself, I've 196 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:27,000 been able to turn my midlife despair into, 197 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:29,720 you know, I'm living my dream life, honestly, personally, 198 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:30,280 and professionally. 199 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:34,840 I'm just super happy, very fulfilled, so blessed, 200 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:36,240 so grateful. 201 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:38,120 And I know what it takes. 202 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:40,480 I know what it takes to get from A to B. 203 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:43,280 And so if somebody wants to, you know, 204 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:45,800 have a, if they have a different vision for their lives, 205 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:49,000 or they know they need something different in life, 206 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:52,800 please listen up, because we'll address some of the keys 207 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:56,400 to making that transformation. 208 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:56,960 Thank you. 209 00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:59,880 So that leads me to a deep question. 210 00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:03,680 Feel free to go as deep or as lightly as you want to on this. 211 00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:06,360 What does that midlife despair look like? 212 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:08,280 Do you mind sharing a little bit about yours, 213 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:10,360 and also what it looks like for others? 214 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:11,960 I don't mind. 215 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:15,680 For me, it looked like, I mean, in my, about, well, 216 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:19,480 my early 40s, I would say, I'm 56 now, 217 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:24,720 but in my early 40s, I'd been married for 20 some years 218 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:27,240 and was raising a couple of kids. 219 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:35,040 And what I realized was, is I was living my husband's life. 220 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:37,600 I was living my kids' lives. 221 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:41,680 I was living the counseling center's life that I was running. 222 00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:46,400 I was running a nonprofit counseling center at the time. 223 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:50,120 And I was living for the church, for the schools, 224 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:53,000 for the scouts, for the volleyball team. 225 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:57,080 I mean, I was saying yes to everything. 226 00:09:57,080 --> 00:10:00,400 I have this philosophy that if I could do something, 227 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,160 I should do it. 228 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:06,040 So I said yes to everything, literally everything. 229 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:09,360 And so I was draining myself dry, 230 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:13,160 thinking I was doing all this powerful serving, which 231 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:18,440 I'm not saying I wasn't, but I was also in this marriage 232 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:24,800 where I felt like I was living his life and not our life 233 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:27,600 or my life in the context of the marriage. 234 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:32,240 And I felt like I was starting to just disappear, just 235 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,760 disappear in my own life. 236 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:38,960 And so I was asking the questions, who am I? 237 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:39,800 What do I want? 238 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:41,040 Who am I? 239 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:42,760 What am I really here for? 240 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:44,120 What am I really supposed to do? 241 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:45,120 I'm a spiritual level. 242 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:49,280 I was asking these questions, as well as on a practical level. 243 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:54,120 And so I think for me and for many people 244 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:57,280 when they reach the 40s, the 50s, I mean, 245 00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:59,560 you can loosely define it at any age. 246 00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:02,400 But there comes a time when we've 247 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,880 been through a couple decades of adulthood, 248 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:09,120 and a lot of us have lived kind of the same routine, 249 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:11,960 whether it's the same relationship or the same job 250 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,800 or we've been raising kids or whatever. 251 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:20,520 And we go, wow, like now either the marriage is 252 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:26,200 kaput or the job feels like a dead end 253 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:29,360 or the children have left, the nest is empty. 254 00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:32,080 And people go, now what? 255 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:33,600 Like now what? 256 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:34,640 Is this it? 257 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:36,640 Is this all there is? 258 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:41,640 Is all I have to look forward to, like aging, unless, and death. 259 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:44,680 I have people say that to me all the time. 260 00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:47,040 And think their purpose is over, too. 261 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,080 Like if they don't like their job anymore, 262 00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:50,480 and if the kids are gone. 263 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:56,160 And so it's a time of, I think, that midlife despair 264 00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:59,080 is a time of feeling very disconnected 265 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:03,640 from your own individuality and feeling lost as to how 266 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:07,080 to get back in touch with that and really create a future 267 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:10,560 that you look forward to instead of dread. 268 00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:11,160 Wow. 269 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:12,000 OK. 270 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:12,640 I love that. 271 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:16,680 And it reminds me of one of my absolute favorite movies. 272 00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:19,440 You've seen it, but it's called Crazy Stupid Love. 273 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:25,560 Oh, yeah, Steve Carragher and Julia Moore and Brian Jocely. 274 00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:26,560 Yeah. 275 00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:28,320 Yes. 276 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:31,120 Yeah, that's a great example. 277 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:33,240 Well, it's so funny because you just 278 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:35,360 opened my mind to the reality that wait a second, 279 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:39,440 in the movie they juxtaposition the two men 280 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:42,480 with the exact opposite scenarios 281 00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:46,760 and how both of them are actually reaching a point of despair 282 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:48,080 in their life. 283 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:52,160 So here's one who's married and his marriage falls apart. 284 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:54,480 And what most people would describe 285 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:56,160 is the worst of ways. 286 00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:57,600 And now he's trying to figure out, 287 00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:01,720 how do I get back into the world and be, who am I? 288 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:02,760 Where am I? 289 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:07,640 This bull cut and have forgotten about myself. 290 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:10,840 And then there's Ryan Jocely on the other side, 291 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,840 who's been Mr. Solo show, Bachelor pad, 292 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:19,720 live in the high life for years, but he feels completely lost 293 00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:24,480 and stuck and has almost no sense of security. 294 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:27,680 I would say he doesn't have a base where he belongs. 295 00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:30,400 And so both of them are discovering the opposite 296 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:32,160 worlds, but they do it in a comedic way 297 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:36,240 where you almost don't even see all the reality that 298 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:37,680 exists there. 299 00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:40,320 Yes, I think that underlying theme, 300 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:41,760 one of the underlying themes there 301 00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:46,200 is they're both lonely men who are disconnected 302 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,840 from what really matters to them or how 303 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:51,640 to get connected to what really matters to them. 304 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:54,120 And they both find their way. 305 00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:56,760 And it looks, it's really interesting. 306 00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:58,800 It's a good awareness that you, I 307 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:02,760 love that you brought that up as an example. 308 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:03,920 Yeah, it's a fun one. 309 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:06,720 Everybody should definitely put that on their playlist. 310 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:07,680 It's a fun one to watch. 311 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:08,840 That's for sure. 312 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:09,280 Awesome. 313 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:11,240 So let's get in the hot seat for a second. 314 00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:12,640 15 seconds. 315 00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:14,200 What's your vision? 316 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,040 15 seconds. 317 00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:22,040 My vision is a world where everyone really 318 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:25,440 creates their own definition of success and happiness that 319 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:29,680 also uplifts everyone else. 320 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:30,560 I love that. 321 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:32,160 They live that out. 322 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:36,400 So we shouldn't be living by somebody else's definition 323 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,160 of success. 324 00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:44,200 Grant Cardone says, or what Oprah says is success. 325 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:48,440 That's limited for her, correct? 326 00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:50,760 And for him, we should figure out 327 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:52,160 our own definition of success. 328 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,480 How do you do that? 329 00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:58,880 Well, I think you really tap into what you're really drawn to, 330 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:03,440 what really brings you joy, what experiences you have. 331 00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:05,240 You know when you have those experiences, 332 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:08,680 that you leave those experiences going, wow, 333 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:10,520 that felt so good. 334 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:16,120 Or you're around people where you go, gosh, I want more of that. 335 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:18,840 And then the opposite teaches us too, you know, 336 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:19,960 what our vision is. 337 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:23,240 Like if you get involved in an organization 338 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:26,200 or you work at a certain place or whatever, 339 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,680 you're hanging out with people and you think, gosh, 340 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:32,240 I feel like I'm like this alien in this bunch. 341 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:37,400 Or I'm not really aligned with what's going on here. 342 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:40,640 This is helping you clarify your vision, right? 343 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:43,480 Because we want to follow our emotional guidance system 344 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:47,560 that inner self we all have that tells us, 345 00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:50,000 does this feel good or doesn't it? 346 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,760 Am I right now or am I not? 347 00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:52,840 Am I aligned? 348 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:55,320 Do I feel like I am on my path right now? 349 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:58,960 Or do I feel like I am like a fish out of water right now? 350 00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:03,520 These are all indications leading us toward what's really 351 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:08,960 going to be our definition of joy, meaning, success, whatever 352 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,440 words you want to put on that. 353 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,920 I've been struck and blessed just now 354 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:14,920 with a powerful question that I don't think 355 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:16,560 most people ever ask you. 356 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:20,000 And I think it's one of the secrets to unlocking a lot of truth. 357 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:25,040 So you mentioned moving towards more of that, right? 358 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:26,360 More of that substance. 359 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:29,000 And you also mentioned people right after that. 360 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,000 I think that's imperative close together 361 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:34,560 because we often want to move more towards something. 362 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,200 And then we've got people in our lives 363 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:40,000 who often block us from getting access to more of that, 364 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,040 whether it's because they need our time more, 365 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:44,440 whether it's because they need our attention more, 366 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:46,520 or because they don't want us to go down that path. 367 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:47,760 Sometimes that happens. 368 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:50,360 Now, here you were, let me take this up a notch 369 00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:53,840 before I ask the question, which is here you were 370 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:56,160 surrounding yourself with a multitude of people. 371 00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:57,480 You weren't a hermit. 372 00:16:57,480 --> 00:17:00,640 You weren't a stay-at-home mom that never talked to anybody 373 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:02,760 and felt really isolated and boxed in. 374 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,120 You had lots of people. 375 00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:05,200 You mentioned a church. 376 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:06,360 You mentioned a count-stain center. 377 00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:07,640 You mentioned your kids. 378 00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:11,960 You probably had mom's groups and areas to go to just connect, 379 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:13,040 connect, connect. 380 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:18,440 Yet you found yourself making a shift towards more 381 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:21,640 of who you are because you were depleting what I heard was, 382 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:25,640 you were depleting yourself by giving so much to others. 383 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:28,240 But you were forgetting to give to yourself. 384 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:31,520 So my question for you is, how did you recognize 385 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:34,640 that you were losing yourself? 386 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:39,040 And how did you make a transition towards people 387 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:42,840 who empower you to find you? 388 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:44,600 Oh, those are great questions. 389 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,680 OK, I forgot the first one. 390 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:47,960 OK, let's go to the second one. 391 00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:49,200 How did I? 392 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:49,760 How did I? 393 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:51,000 How did you? 394 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,280 Let's just go to the second one. 395 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:53,720 That's really what I want to get to, 396 00:17:53,720 --> 00:18:00,800 was how did you get to those people who empowered you to be you? 397 00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:01,880 Yeah. 398 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:05,000 Well, I went on a search. 399 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:09,720 I went on a search for who, what are, 400 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:12,320 I love to read these kinds of books. 401 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,640 I find these kind of speakers motivating. 402 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:18,040 I find these kind of classes interesting. 403 00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:20,440 And I thought, well, who else is reading this stuff? 404 00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:22,080 Who else is attending this stuff? 405 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:25,000 Who else believes this stuff? 406 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:31,040 So I started attending personal development workshops, 407 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:34,320 author platforms. 408 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:37,800 I started going where other people were searching 409 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:43,360 for the same thing I was and who were learning the same things 410 00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:47,040 or may be aligned in the same way with what we were learning. 411 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,880 And so I started to be surrounded 412 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:53,600 by people who really believed in uplifting people, 413 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,800 encouraging people, helping people tap into the best 414 00:18:56,800 --> 00:19:00,920 of themselves, who offered grace to themselves 415 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:05,000 and other people when we're being human and falling down 416 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,840 a bit and needing to pick ourselves back up. 417 00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:13,840 And that gave me strength to be more honest about who I really 418 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:17,920 wanted to be and how I needed to really show up for myself 419 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:21,600 like I was showing up for everybody else. 420 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:24,560 How did you recognize that turning point? 421 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:27,360 Was there a moment, and you may have the journal of this, 422 00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:29,760 but if you happen to have it top of mind, 423 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:32,160 how did you recognize that moment where you're like, 424 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:35,320 oh my gosh, maybe. 425 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:37,920 I found that when I go through those experiences, 426 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:41,840 I usually have not a doubt but an inkling more so of like, 427 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:44,320 you know what, have I been living for others and not 428 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:45,080 for myself? 429 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:47,440 It's not necessarily this bold like, oh, duh, 430 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:51,040 I should just turn and help myself. 431 00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:52,760 Is there a moment like that that occurred, 432 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:56,040 or was there a big experience that helped you shift? 433 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:57,320 What did the shift? 434 00:19:57,320 --> 00:20:00,840 There were a couple of little moments that were huge for me, 435 00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:04,760 and they may sound so silly, but that's when I really knew. 436 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:08,520 I really knew, oh, I have got to turn the corner here. 437 00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:14,320 So imagine my outside life, my public life, 438 00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:16,960 running the counseling center, coaching the volleyball team, 439 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:20,040 being the Girl Scout leader, being the home school mom 440 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:24,800 for both kids, a wide circle of family, friends, 441 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:29,800 big lay ministry in the church, very confident on top 442 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:31,400 of my game. 443 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:32,440 I know what I'm doing. 444 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:33,240 I'm a leader. 445 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:33,920 I've got it. 446 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:34,640 I've got this. 447 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,960 I've got all this. 448 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:43,320 Then I go home, and my husband at the time, 449 00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,440 I'm no longer married to this man, 450 00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:49,120 and he's not a bad guy, but he was very controlling. 451 00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:52,640 It was his, that was one of his things. 452 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:56,440 And I remember one morning, I got dressed for work, 453 00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:58,240 and he'd done this several times. 454 00:20:58,240 --> 00:20:59,760 He'd said, your hair doesn't look right. 455 00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:01,040 You need to fix it. 456 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:03,600 Oh, why are you wearing that dress? 457 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:05,920 You know, whatever. 458 00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:08,200 Criticizing something about my physical appearance 459 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,640 before I would leave to go to work. 460 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:14,840 And one morning, I didn't push back, 461 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:18,640 and I went into the closet, and I changed my clothes. 462 00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:22,960 And then he left for work, and the kids got the kids to school, 463 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:27,640 and I thought, I have so lost myself 464 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:32,760 that I even didn't just keep the clothes on that I 465 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:35,400 chose for the day. 466 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:38,800 What is wrong with me that I thought 467 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:42,080 I had to change my clothes just because my husband thought 468 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:43,760 I needed to change my clothes? 469 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:46,200 So that was one moment I knew, oh my gosh, 470 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,600 you are in serious trouble, Cindy. 471 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,040 If you can't even decide for yourself 472 00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:53,880 and stick to your decision about what you're 473 00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:58,000 going to wear to work today, I mean, it wasn't inappropriate. 474 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:01,680 There was nothing wrong with what I was wearing. 475 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:05,200 OK, and then the other time, I realized 476 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:07,960 I was disappearing in my own life. 477 00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:10,800 The kids got in the car, my car for the hundreds of time, 478 00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,680 you know, in there or whatever. 479 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:17,280 And I had the radio on a station I like to listen to. 480 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,040 And my daughter immediately changed the channel to music 481 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:22,480 they like to listen to. 482 00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:26,480 And I let them do that all their lives. 483 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:29,000 And I hadn't even pulled out of the driveway yet 484 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,360 when she did it again. 485 00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:35,440 And I was like, I thought, in my head, I thought, 486 00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:37,240 but I wanted to listen to my music. 487 00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:42,960 And then I thought, Cindy, you are in charge of your life. 488 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:46,080 So I told my kids, I said, change the channel back. 489 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:47,360 I am a person. 490 00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:49,080 I remember yelling at them. 491 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:50,840 I am a person. 492 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:52,320 I have preferences. 493 00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:55,120 And I wanted to hear my radio station. 494 00:22:55,120 --> 00:22:56,360 It's my car. 495 00:22:56,360 --> 00:22:57,640 Change the channel back. 496 00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:00,960 So I mean, I overreacted. 497 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:01,640 Sure. 498 00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:04,120 But it was a statement to myself of, 499 00:23:04,120 --> 00:23:08,640 you have got to get your life back, woman. 500 00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:10,200 And you're honest about it. 501 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:11,240 Thank you. 502 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:14,760 My goodness, the amount of people who will not admit 503 00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:16,360 that they've yelled at their children 504 00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:18,480 or that they've messed up as a parent, you know, 505 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:21,600 but that also have not taken control. 506 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:25,360 There's so many elements of what you said where I'm like, 507 00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:26,680 thank you. 508 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:29,240 Like human being to human being, you know, 509 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:32,880 like a leader who doesn't have to act like they're perfect. 510 00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:34,200 That's perfect. 511 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:35,080 That's awesome. 512 00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:38,040 I'm the girl next door who knows a lot, Jackson. 513 00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:39,240 Oh my goodness. 514 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:42,480 And so you said that these ideas, 515 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:45,240 to some they may sound silly, but I think to millions, 516 00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:46,520 this resonates. 517 00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:50,720 I mean, I think we've all been on one side of that equation, 518 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:53,840 if not on both sides in our relationships, 519 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:57,040 especially in both those scenarios, right? 520 00:23:57,040 --> 00:24:02,440 I'll own my awful side on the husband's side 521 00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,440 of the clothing situation. 522 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:07,000 Man, I did not like the color yellow. 523 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:12,400 Like the dark color, to me it looked like puke. 524 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:14,360 You know, I'm not a big fan. 525 00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:15,200 I don't think I- 526 00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:16,960 How do you want a puke, are you Jackson? 527 00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,080 Oh, no way, man, no way. 528 00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:20,360 This yellow is fine. 529 00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:21,800 I'm okay with this one. 530 00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:24,080 It was that like goldish yellow, you know? 531 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:25,400 I love it. 532 00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:26,560 Okay. 533 00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:29,640 So I don't, and from my perspective, right, 534 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:33,320 the man side, I wasn't trying to control the scenario. 535 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:35,440 I wasn't saying, hey, your clothes, 536 00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:37,960 like you have to go change, 537 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:40,800 but I bet what I said came across that way. 538 00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:41,640 No, maybe. 539 00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:42,480 I bet it did. 540 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:48,440 And we don't, I think most people have great intentions, 541 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:51,840 but we also as adults have to learn to communicate 542 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:53,240 in a way that's respectful, 543 00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:56,000 in a way that creates space and liberates people 544 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:57,560 and allows people to make their own decisions. 545 00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:00,720 And I did a really piss poor job of that 546 00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:03,040 in my first marriage. 547 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:05,680 I certainly had my struggles in my second marriage 548 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:08,920 with that too, the language barrier didn't help. 549 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:13,240 But it is still, it's so important that we ourselves, 550 00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:17,280 like find our abilities to overcome those scenarios. 551 00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:18,680 I've been in that too. 552 00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:20,400 As a kid, I went through that. 553 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:21,640 You know, with parents making fun of it 554 00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:23,720 or friends making fun of what you wear or whatever else. 555 00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:25,920 Like there's so many people that go through that 556 00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:27,400 and so many levels. 557 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:31,120 And, you know, some people call it releasing the inner child, 558 00:25:31,120 --> 00:25:31,960 right? 559 00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:34,120 Going back to your innocent state of finding yourself. 560 00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:37,960 And again, the midlife crisis is often the one 561 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:42,280 that leads us to be a little bit more open to that, I think. 562 00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:43,560 Again, I'm not there yet, 563 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:46,760 but that's kind of what I see from the outside perspective 564 00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:49,000 is like you're tired of the pain 565 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:50,960 that continues to stack in life. 566 00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:52,960 And it's almost like intolerable. 567 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,560 And so you start to have to make a shift. 568 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:58,960 But I didn't directly ask you, 569 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,360 what powerful lesson can other visionaries 570 00:26:01,360 --> 00:26:02,360 learn from your experience? 571 00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:05,400 I kind of like some lumped these in together. 572 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:08,160 Is there another powerful lesson you want to dive into? 573 00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:11,280 Yes, thank you for this moment. 574 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:15,400 Because one of the biggest parts of my turning point 575 00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:19,080 was talking to Jack Canfield actually. 576 00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:21,400 I was at one of his trainings 577 00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:23,760 and I got the great fortune of being 578 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:25,640 in a small group experience with him. 579 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:28,000 And he was sitting right next to me. 580 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,640 And we were to go around the room and talk about, 581 00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:33,000 kind of what our vision for our lives was what we wanted 582 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:34,720 and what was blocking us, 583 00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:36,200 what we felt was getting in our way. 584 00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:38,600 And when it was my turn, I said, 585 00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:40,560 I blamed my husband for everything. 586 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:44,000 Well, he doesn't want me to be an entrepreneur 587 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,640 and he doesn't let me da, da, da, da. 588 00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:50,000 And he's so short-sighted that he can't do that. 589 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:53,520 I mean, I was in the blame-complain space. 590 00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:56,400 Total blame-complain space. 591 00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:59,600 And Jack turned to me and looked at me and he said, 592 00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:04,600 Cindy, it is your job to live your life. 593 00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:11,160 And that was like the cloud split open moment for me. 594 00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:14,080 Because what I understood was, 595 00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:16,520 and where I go now in my own life 596 00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:19,360 and where I encourage all of you to go 597 00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:23,240 is to ask yourself, if you're unhappy especially, 598 00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:25,840 like what would your life be like 599 00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:30,280 if you stepped into 100% responsibility for it? 600 00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:33,120 You took full responsibility for your life 601 00:27:33,120 --> 00:27:36,560 because anytime we're pointing our finger at other people 602 00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:39,400 like I was, whether it's your spouse, 603 00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:42,000 whether it's the boss you can't stand, 604 00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:45,840 whether it's the political, whatever's going on, 605 00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:48,480 politically with the president or the country 606 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:52,200 or whether it's the economy or the weather, 607 00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,160 whatever you're trying to blame 608 00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:58,120 because your life isn't great, it's a waste of your time. 609 00:27:58,120 --> 00:27:59,240 It's a waste of your energy 610 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:00,440 because you can't control the weather, 611 00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:01,680 you can't control the president, 612 00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,160 you can't control the, you know, 613 00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:05,400 whatever, whatever, whatever, the husband. 614 00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:06,760 Anything outside of yourself. 615 00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:07,600 Nothing. 616 00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:09,960 This is where we have the power right here 617 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:12,840 in our own thoughts, our behaviors, 618 00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:14,400 our feelings, our actions. 619 00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:16,560 That's where we can make a difference. 620 00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:19,600 So start there, step fully into it. 621 00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:23,040 And I think the first step is something you were referring to 622 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:24,840 in your own life, Jackson, was just, 623 00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:26,840 I call it waking up. 624 00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:28,720 I call it just waking up and going, 625 00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:30,840 oh, I am doing this. 626 00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:33,960 I am involved in this pattern of my behavior 627 00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,000 and it's not working. 628 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:40,520 Even my good intentions are causing damage. 629 00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:43,400 Even if my intentions are great, they're causing damage. 630 00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:47,600 Or where am I off path from who I really am, 631 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:49,320 which is fully love, right? 632 00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:52,200 We're all fully love, really. 633 00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,400 So anytime we're judging, right? 634 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:59,000 Or, you know, just speaking out of turn 635 00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:01,880 or telling somebody else how to live their lives 636 00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:06,080 or whatever we might be doing, we are off path. 637 00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:10,680 And so, yeah, if people don't hear another word from me, 638 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:13,240 I want them to hear what I heard Jack say, 639 00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:16,400 which was Cindy, step into full responsibility for yourself. 640 00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:19,880 And you will, your life will turn around. 641 00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:20,720 And it did. 642 00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:21,560 He was right. 643 00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:22,400 It works. 644 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:24,080 It's promise, it works. 645 00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:24,920 Awesome. 646 00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:29,920 And it is a universal principle that he was a vessel for 647 00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:32,680 and the wisdom has existed, but it's so cool 648 00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:34,920 that you got to hear that from him, 649 00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:36,960 where you knew that the resource, 650 00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:40,040 you knew that the source of knowledge on this occasion 651 00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:43,640 was living, you know, what he teaches. 652 00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:44,480 So it's so cool. 653 00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:46,000 And I want to come back to this quote now 654 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:47,400 because of that. 655 00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:51,120 You said show up for yourself like you show up for others. 656 00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:51,960 Right? 657 00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:54,960 And go ahead, go ahead, hit it. 658 00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:57,160 How do we do that? 659 00:29:57,160 --> 00:30:01,080 I'm all excited, but yes, you know, I... 660 00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:01,920 Oh yeah. 661 00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:04,360 Now the flow state right now is awesome with this interview. 662 00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:06,960 I'm loving, I've got three sets of chills already 663 00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:09,000 in the last 30 minutes. 664 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,480 Well, often, you know, especially with women, 665 00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:13,520 I find in the life is they have, 666 00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:16,760 they know how to love and nurture well, right? 667 00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:18,520 They know how to love other people. 668 00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:19,360 They know how to... 669 00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:20,440 They're here. 670 00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:22,120 That's just not even men's words. 671 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:23,200 They're here. 672 00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:24,720 We're trying to figure it out. 673 00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:27,800 It's not a man versus woman. 674 00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:29,760 I'm not trying to say men don't know, 675 00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:34,400 but I really do feel there is a nurturing, caring, 676 00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:36,480 loving presence in many women. 677 00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:37,960 It comes naturally to them. 678 00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:40,000 Oh, how can I help out my family? 679 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,640 How can I help out that friend that's got cancer? 680 00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:45,360 How can I help that homeless person 681 00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:48,000 or that person experiencing homeless on the street? 682 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:51,400 You know, and we know how to do that instinctively. 683 00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:53,040 There's something there. 684 00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:53,880 I agree. 685 00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:57,480 And yet we also are, I think, the gender 686 00:30:57,480 --> 00:31:02,040 that struggles the most with turning it toward ourselves. 687 00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:02,880 Yes. 688 00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:03,720 Like it's so interesting. 689 00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:07,600 Like I rarely hear men feel guilty, for example, 690 00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:09,960 for taking time out for themselves. 691 00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:11,800 And I don't think they ought to feel guilty 692 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:12,640 for taking time out. 693 00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:13,480 I agree with you. 694 00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:15,960 There are the men who grew up with five older sisters 695 00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:20,960 and a mom who learned these paradigms a little differently. 696 00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:22,600 But you're right. 697 00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:26,280 I feel far less guilty than my mom and my five sisters 698 00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:27,760 and the other women do. 699 00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:32,760 And the guys, my guy friends growing up like abilities, 700 00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:35,200 completely over their head. 701 00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:40,200 Well, I mean, I think if a guy wants to watch the game 702 00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:44,640 on Saturday, he's gonna make sure he can. 703 00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:46,360 And there's nothing wrong with that. 704 00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:49,360 But if a woman wants to watch a show on Friday night, 705 00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:51,760 she's thinking, well, what does everybody else wanna watch? 706 00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:53,840 Or am I supposed to be getting something ready 707 00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:55,360 for the kids for tomorrow? 708 00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:56,920 Multi-tasking while doing it. 709 00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,480 You know, you gotta go through the laundry list 710 00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:01,920 and ask everybody if it's okay with everyone first. 711 00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:03,480 You know, if you dominate the remote. 712 00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:07,880 I mean, it's just amazing how often I see that. 713 00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:11,840 And so, yeah, one of the things I find myself teaching women, 714 00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:16,520 especially, is how to love themselves unapologetically. 715 00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:18,040 Like truly love themselves. 716 00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,040 And this isn't against anyone. 717 00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:21,880 It's for her. 718 00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:25,720 Because as the cup fills up and overflows, 719 00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:29,400 there's more to give and flow out to others, actually. 720 00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:31,560 So we show up better for others 721 00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:32,880 when we show up for ourselves. 722 00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:34,280 Truly, truly we do. 723 00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:35,280 I love that. 724 00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:38,920 And so, with that said, 30 seconds, 725 00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:41,120 what's your vision for those that you serve? 726 00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:44,720 Well, I really want people to learn 727 00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:47,600 how to love themselves unapologetically, as I just said. 728 00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:50,880 And then also build unwavering confidence 729 00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:55,880 because, you know, you cannot create a life you really want 730 00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:59,440 if you do not have confidence. 731 00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:02,480 So we gotta build those confidence muscles up 732 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:05,120 so people are willing to try new things, 733 00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:08,480 you know, try something new. 734 00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:13,440 You know, and I wanna help people get crystal clear 735 00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:14,600 about what they really want 736 00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:19,600 because you cannot get what you do not know you want either. 737 00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:23,200 So helping them get crystal clear about what they want, 738 00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:25,360 again, what their definition is 739 00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:28,120 for success, happiness, joy, meaning, 740 00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:30,120 and then build up that confidence 741 00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:33,560 so they can take the steps to get there. 742 00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:34,760 So. 743 00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:36,080 Beyond the business model, 744 00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:38,640 which I know wouldn't be your answer. 745 00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:40,440 But for those who are listening, 746 00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,560 why is that important to you? 747 00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:44,680 You know, that you help people find this 748 00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:46,560 unapologetic love for themselves 749 00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:48,320 and build unwavering confidence. 750 00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:52,440 Well, I mean, I could get really, you know, 751 00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:55,520 10 layer philosophical about this, 752 00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:58,760 but I really do want world peace, Jackson. 753 00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:00,920 And so we gotta, if I don't love myself, 754 00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:02,400 we're not gonna get there, right? 755 00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:03,240 I mean. 756 00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:04,080 Do the wave. 757 00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:04,920 Do the wave. 758 00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:05,760 Yeah. 759 00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:10,760 It's important to me because, you know, 760 00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:14,280 I think we're all called to do different things. 761 00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:18,000 And I can see in the trajectory of my life 762 00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,440 where I have been given experiences 763 00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:25,120 that have taught me some of these lessons. 764 00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:28,840 And I think when we are given information, 765 00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:32,720 when we are allowed experience and wisdom to come 766 00:34:32,720 --> 00:34:36,560 in whatever form, and we know it serves well, 767 00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:39,840 that it's our imperative to share it. 768 00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:41,840 And so it's important to me to share it 769 00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:45,160 because I feel like I've been blessed to be given 770 00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:49,600 some of these teachings and knowings about life. 771 00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:54,160 And it's important because I feel like we are here 772 00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:57,800 to create freedom, growth and joy for ourselves 773 00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:59,440 and each other. 774 00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:04,440 And this is my way of doing that, contributing to society, 775 00:35:05,720 --> 00:35:10,720 I guess you would say, to get us to a point where 776 00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:16,120 we really can love each other and accept one another 777 00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:18,560 and create a great world, honestly. 778 00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:20,800 As cheesy as I might sound. 779 00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:22,120 I don't think that's cheesy. 780 00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:25,040 I think it's a lot to me to do that. 781 00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:25,880 I'm with you on it. 782 00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:29,480 And so a spin on that question, why do you care? 783 00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:32,200 I know it seems obvious. 784 00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:35,200 The obvious and the whole piece makes everybody happy. 785 00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:37,000 I get that and there's that aspect 786 00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:41,280 that people can depreciate, but why do you care? 787 00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:42,600 Why do I care? 788 00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:45,880 I don't know how not to care. 789 00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:49,280 I mean, I just love people so much. 790 00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:53,200 And I love and appreciate life so much. 791 00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:57,880 And it breaks my heart that so many people 792 00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:00,520 are missing out on their own lives 793 00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:04,160 and that they're just suffering, suffering, suffering. 794 00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:07,200 I know there are a lot of schools of thought 795 00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:10,760 and religious teachings and all kinds of beliefs out there 796 00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:13,920 that say, oh, we just suffer through the human experience. 797 00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:17,760 And then there's this great glorious other thing, 798 00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:19,560 you know, later or whatever, 799 00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:23,600 and the earthly life is just one challenge after another 800 00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:25,640 and it's, you know, just get through that 801 00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:28,360 and then when you get to the other side, you'll be okay. 802 00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:31,480 I mean, I understand there's a lot of that out there. 803 00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:32,320 Right. 804 00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:35,960 And, you know, I'm not trying to make anybody wrong, 805 00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:38,600 but it is my belief in knowing 806 00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:42,120 that we can enjoy life here. 807 00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:45,040 And that doesn't mean we're bad people. 808 00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:47,440 We have a good time while we're here. 809 00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:48,280 Right. 810 00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:50,600 And so I just, you know, 811 00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:55,200 I really would love to see people not take life so seriously 812 00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:59,720 and, you know, give themselves forgiveness 813 00:36:59,720 --> 00:37:03,800 when they fall short of what they're, you know, 814 00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:06,000 capable of, because we all do that. 815 00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:09,800 And to just let themselves enjoy themselves, 816 00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:11,840 just do what they want to do. 817 00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:14,600 Most things that people want to do 818 00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:17,440 are not destructive to other people. 819 00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:20,080 You know, I mean, if someone came to me and said, 820 00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:21,600 oh, what I want to do, you know, 821 00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:24,160 is obliterate this whole group of people. 822 00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:25,920 I wouldn't say, oh, you should go do that 823 00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:27,560 if you think that's going to bring you joy. 824 00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:32,560 But nothing we, true joy doesn't come from that. 825 00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:34,160 I think that's the key though. 826 00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:36,080 I think, you know, I would look at that 827 00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:38,560 from a slightly different angle of, 828 00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:40,440 I think like, what you said is true. 829 00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:41,720 What most people want and want, 830 00:37:41,720 --> 00:37:45,000 look what you want to do, yes, when you look 831 00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,080 at what you truly want. 832 00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:47,920 Yeah. 833 00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:49,920 But I think a lot of people have a hard time 834 00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:52,920 getting distracted by basic wants, you know. 835 00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:54,880 I'm hungry, so I want a Snickers bar. 836 00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:56,680 No, your body wants nutrients. 837 00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:02,560 And sometimes we're so habitually connected to, 838 00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:07,120 you know, Netflix, alcohol, drugs, pornography, 839 00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:09,160 whatever else it is, you know, 840 00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:11,800 that becomes that instant want 841 00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:14,480 that we end up accidentally sacrificing 842 00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:17,640 things that we truly need, which is what 843 00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:18,560 you're talking about. 844 00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:21,560 Though those wants that aren't the oppressive needs 845 00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:24,240 from outside forces, but the internal needs. 846 00:38:24,240 --> 00:38:27,560 And I think a lot of people are kind of distracted 847 00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:30,720 by that, but that's also why I think the midlife 848 00:38:30,720 --> 00:38:34,760 makeover methods exist, you know, and what you teach 849 00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:37,880 and how you help people start to come into tune 850 00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:40,280 with like, what is it that I'm truly looking for here? 851 00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:44,120 And that's why they need that type of guidance. 852 00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:49,120 So if you haven't already gone to Cindy's website 853 00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:53,000 and you should, if you're in this position 854 00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:56,040 where you're looking for somebody to perhaps help, 855 00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:58,320 you know, you go through a midlife makeover, 856 00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:01,040 or if you're at a earlier stage of that, 857 00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:03,360 but you recognize that she may be able to help you 858 00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:06,000 find greater happiness and greater confidence 859 00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:10,200 in what you do, then CindyWitmer.com is a great place to go. 860 00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:13,280 There's a link to download a free ebook on there 861 00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:16,520 to get started and understand more about what she's putting 862 00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:18,680 out into the world and how she's helping people. 863 00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:23,320 This, the other thing I wanted to ask you about was, 864 00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:28,320 do you have in-person events, one-on-one consultations, 865 00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:32,760 group sessions, where would you guide people to next? 866 00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:37,760 Yeah, you can go to CindyWitmer.com and see what I offer. 867 00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:41,200 Right now I have, you know, private coaching going on, 868 00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:44,280 one-on-one coaching that is on the phone or on Zoom, 869 00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:46,080 so you can be anywhere. 870 00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:48,680 And we can do that kind of work together. 871 00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:51,920 From time to time, I start group coaching experiences 872 00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:56,480 and go through, you know, a 90 day group coaching experience. 873 00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:58,800 So I will probably do one of those this fall. 874 00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:00,880 So if you're interested, you know, you can email me, 875 00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:05,880 let me know, and I'll get you on a waiting list for that. 876 00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:11,440 I also am a speaker, so if you're a business or organization 877 00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:14,280 or association or whatever needs a speaker 878 00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:18,960 or some kind of training on these ideas or leadership 879 00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:21,040 or things like that, then please, you know, 880 00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:22,040 let me know about that. 881 00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:24,800 And if I can serve you in that way, I'm happy to do that. 882 00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:28,840 So everything's there at CindyDWitmer.com. 883 00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:33,000 And yeah, I'd be happy to hear from anyone 884 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:35,200 that feels they're ready for another step. 885 00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:38,240 If you want a deep dive, really deep dive, 886 00:40:38,240 --> 00:40:39,240 and you know you're ready, 887 00:40:39,240 --> 00:40:42,640 then we should have a conversation for sure. 888 00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:43,480 That's awesome. 889 00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:45,080 I think that's wise, you know, 890 00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:48,560 get in touch with leaders like Cindy. 891 00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:51,800 You know, explore the process so that you're not, you know, 892 00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:54,720 wandering down the side streets and alleys, you know, 893 00:40:54,720 --> 00:40:56,440 when you could have somebody, you know, 894 00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:58,320 take you right through the jungle 895 00:40:58,320 --> 00:41:01,480 or through the busy, crazy city of life 896 00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:06,120 to those destinations of hope and joy. 897 00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:09,160 And I would agree with you 100% on the fact 898 00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:11,320 that we do, many of us are blessed 899 00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:14,480 with the opportunity to pursue joy in this life 900 00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:16,240 and to pursue happiness. 901 00:41:16,240 --> 00:41:19,120 You know, while it's not, in my opinion, 902 00:41:19,120 --> 00:41:20,720 it's not something we're entitled to, 903 00:41:20,720 --> 00:41:23,000 it's not something that we're guaranteed. 904 00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:24,600 There are formulas, you know, 905 00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:26,480 that if we can learn the formulas and the framework 906 00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:28,240 and we happen to have those right connections. 907 00:41:28,240 --> 00:41:31,640 And our life, or we foster those right connections, 908 00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:34,040 you know, by reaching out and, you know, 909 00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:38,960 we can find ourselves accessing those types of experiences. 910 00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:41,560 And it's not something that's forbidden. 911 00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:43,520 You know, it's something that is encouraged. 912 00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:45,320 Your soul typically wants that. 913 00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:48,360 So I'm gonna circle back a little bit. 914 00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:53,040 So these, there's people out there who, you know, 915 00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:55,960 may feel a bit hopeless, you know, 916 00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:58,920 they may feel a bit stuck with where they're at. 917 00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:02,480 And so naturally, if you feel stuck, 918 00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:04,200 hope is not something, you know, 919 00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:06,640 that you're very, very fond of. 920 00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:08,720 You tend to be like, go away. 921 00:42:08,720 --> 00:42:13,720 You know, like, do you tend to work with more people? 922 00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:19,240 Do you have a resource you'd refer people to 923 00:42:19,240 --> 00:42:21,800 beyond the hotline that are closer 924 00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:25,240 to that darker stage of hopelessness, 925 00:42:25,240 --> 00:42:26,840 like a book or something? 926 00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:31,320 And, you know, do you tend to gravitate 927 00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:33,960 towards helping people who are more ready 928 00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:37,800 towards maximizing happiness in their life 929 00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:38,920 and truly unlocking it? 930 00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:40,920 Does that make sense, that question? 931 00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:43,720 Yeah, yeah, I feel like you're talking about, you know, 932 00:42:43,720 --> 00:42:47,040 kind of an extreme where some people are so stuck, 933 00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:48,600 they feel hopeless, they feel helpless. 934 00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:51,040 They don't know which way is up or down 935 00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:53,600 and are really stuck and don't know where to turn. 936 00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:56,360 And then there's people who seek out coaching 937 00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:59,680 for just, you know, they're going along in life. 938 00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:01,840 They're doing okay, but they just wanna, 939 00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:03,800 they just wanna up their game. 940 00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:06,720 So coaching is appropriate for both of those. 941 00:43:06,720 --> 00:43:09,720 My work is appropriate for both of those scenarios. 942 00:43:09,720 --> 00:43:11,400 But if someone's just out there right now 943 00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:14,240 and listening to us and they're sitting there just hopeless, 944 00:43:14,240 --> 00:43:16,240 feeling helpless, stuck, 945 00:43:16,240 --> 00:43:18,440 then I just, I wanna say to them, you know, 946 00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:19,680 you're not alone. 947 00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:22,520 Most people have felt, been there 948 00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:26,360 or are some are there with you, you just don't know it. 949 00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:31,360 And if you cannot see any hope right now 950 00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:36,000 as you look at today or next week, 951 00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:39,120 then one of the first things I would ask you to do 952 00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:42,960 is think back to a time you felt really happy 953 00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:44,800 or you felt really good. 954 00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:46,840 Something really felt meaningful to you 955 00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:48,920 or felt like a success. 956 00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:52,960 You know, just something that felt good to you. 957 00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:54,480 Maybe you were a really good student 958 00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:56,120 when you were in high school. 959 00:43:56,120 --> 00:43:58,800 Maybe, you know, you're a great friend. 960 00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:03,920 Maybe you took this amazing trip in, you know, 2010 961 00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:05,720 and you just had such a great time 962 00:44:05,720 --> 00:44:07,760 and went to several countries or, you know, whatever, 963 00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:11,440 but tap into some very positive memories 964 00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:15,560 and or other seasons in your life 965 00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:19,600 that were very difficult that you have survived 966 00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:22,440 because no matter how hopeless you feel today, 967 00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:27,440 whether you're 25 or 55 or 75, you have survived stuff 968 00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:29,280 somehow. 969 00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:32,400 So you had strength, you had knowings, 970 00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:34,840 you had support, you had something 971 00:44:34,840 --> 00:44:38,040 that got you through some dark times before. 972 00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:41,200 So either call on those positive memories from the past 973 00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:43,880 and recognize your strengths and qualities 974 00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:46,320 and things that mattered to you then 975 00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:49,600 and, you know, what parts of yourself 976 00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:51,680 you really loved about yourself at that time 977 00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:53,240 that's still in there. 978 00:44:53,240 --> 00:44:56,080 You're just feeling a little disconnected right now. 979 00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:59,040 Or look back at what you've been through before 980 00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:03,120 and survived and let that empower you to go, 981 00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:06,280 I've gotten through dark times before. 982 00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:08,560 Here's what I can access within myself 983 00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:10,680 to help pull myself out of this. 984 00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:14,080 These I know, who do you know for sure loves you 985 00:45:14,080 --> 00:45:17,760 or cares for you, be willing to be vulnerable. 986 00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:20,720 You know, really what we all want according to Renee Brown 987 00:45:20,720 --> 00:45:22,800 who's another great resource, I gotta tell you. 988 00:45:22,800 --> 00:45:24,320 If you don't know what Renee Brown is 989 00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:27,040 and you really wanna move the needle in your life, 990 00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:29,480 check all of her work out. 991 00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:31,960 But she talks about vulnerability 992 00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:33,240 and the important stuff of it. 993 00:45:33,240 --> 00:45:35,720 She has the most popular TED talk, I think, 994 00:45:35,720 --> 00:45:37,240 in the world or one of the top three 995 00:45:37,240 --> 00:45:39,600 or something about vulnerability. 996 00:45:39,600 --> 00:45:44,560 And our deep desire, all of us, to have connection 997 00:45:44,560 --> 00:45:45,880 and belonging. 998 00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:47,160 And if you're feeling hopeless, 999 00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:48,320 that's what you're needing. 1000 00:45:48,320 --> 00:45:52,320 You're hungry to really connect to someone, 1001 00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:55,160 another human being about real life 1002 00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:57,080 and you're wanting to belong. 1003 00:45:57,080 --> 00:46:01,240 And so start that, where did you feel you belonged before? 1004 00:46:01,240 --> 00:46:04,800 Where, you know, when have you felt connected to people? 1005 00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:07,560 What really, if there's anything at all 1006 00:46:07,560 --> 00:46:11,880 that you feel attracted to or excited about, that's a clue. 1007 00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:16,800 Go start moving into that direction and see what unfolds. 1008 00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:19,000 I love it and I love your passion 1009 00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:21,880 for teaching and opening that light to people up. 1010 00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:23,080 Thank you so much, Cindy. 1011 00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:24,960 I'm gonna recap a little bit of that right now. 1012 00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:28,120 So visionary entrepreneurs who are listening, 1013 00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:31,160 Cindy's talking about improving your mindset, 1014 00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:33,360 which you've often probably heard 1015 00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:35,360 is one of the most important things that you can do. 1016 00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:37,320 It's really one of the greatest secrets 1017 00:46:37,320 --> 00:46:38,760 to sustainable revenue growth 1018 00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:39,840 and building what you wanna build. 1019 00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:43,960 Some people also call it removing the head trash, right? 1020 00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:45,480 And you've got both aspects. 1021 00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:47,400 It's removing the negative, 1022 00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:51,200 it's replacing it though too with the positive, you know, 1023 00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:53,880 and creating improvements that then offset 1024 00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:56,600 and make it impossible for the negative 1025 00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:58,200 to come back on that bookshelf. 1026 00:46:58,200 --> 00:47:01,400 While our minds are expansive and ever growing 1027 00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:05,160 at the same time, it is very hard to make place 1028 00:47:05,160 --> 00:47:08,760 for the negativity when you've expanded the positivity 1029 00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:10,680 on the shelves within your brain. 1030 00:47:10,680 --> 00:47:13,480 So Cindy, thank you for all the incredible value 1031 00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:14,680 that you threw down today. 1032 00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:17,160 Vision Pros have a fantastic week 1033 00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:18,720 and we look forward to seeing you on the other side. 1034 00:47:18,720 --> 00:47:20,920 Don't hesitate to connect with Cindy via email 1035 00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:22,680 or the other social links available 1036 00:47:22,680 --> 00:47:25,200 and we would love to see you subscribe, 1037 00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:27,440 write reviews and share Vision Pros. 1038 00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:28,520 We appreciate you so much. 1039 00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:29,960 Everybody have a great day. 1040 00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:31,040 Thank you. 1041 00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:34,040 Thank you for being here today. 1042 00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:36,800 I'm really happy that you tuned in to Vision Pros Live. 1043 00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:40,640 I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions 1044 00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:43,080 as these episodes continue to move forward. 1045 00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:44,760 We optimize them as the months go by. 1046 00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:47,080 This is gonna get more and more fun. 1047 00:47:47,080 --> 00:47:48,880 We'll have more and more engagement as well. 1048 00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:51,320 We wanna invite people to participate in the show 1049 00:47:51,320 --> 00:48:05,320 and thank you for giving us your time and attention.