If we reach 10 and it makes a difference,
then that's what it's all about.
So I'm glad you resonate with that.
I mean, it's a lot.
I do resonate with that.
And that's another reason I want people to, you know,
really go for what they want in life
because when they're happier,
the ripple effect of that is unending.
We post my...
All right, welcome in to Vision Pros Live.
I'm Jackson Calame, I'm your show host.
We'll be doing interviews for visionary entrepreneurs
and guests, guest leaders
who are building fantastic visions out there.
Ultimately, I just want to go through some of the things
that might help you with your vision.
So if you have a vision that you're pursuing,
drop a link in the comments and let us know what that is.
If that's a business or a brand,
if it's a nonprofit that you run,
be happy to promote it, be happy to talk to you about it.
And if you'd like to apply to be on Vision Pros
and be interviewed about that vision,
by all means, feel free to reach out.
Woo-hoo-hoo!
Welcome in to Vision Pros Live.
I'm your host, Jackson Calame,
founder and CEO of First Class Business.
I want to give a quick shout out
to our sponsors, Aepiphanni and Converge,
their sister company with Rick Meekins
fantastic business consultants for businesses
with 30 plus employees and ablehealth.us.
Dr. Seth Yates has done an awesome job
of building a program that allows people to access
the benefits of a natural path
without having to go into a physical office,
which is pretty awesome from,
in my humble opinion, if you will.
Now, without further ado,
I have an excellent guest who's super loving.
If you're a nurturer, if you are in a midlife crisis
or you're looking ahead at what midlife could look like,
then it's going to be awesome to hear what Cindy has to say.
Cindy Whitmer is going to be on here
with me in just a minute.
I want to give a quick shout out though
to the Water Project as well.
If you have a dollar to give away
or you have a thousand dollars to give away today
to people who need water,
I highly recommend the Water Project
because it's probably not fun.
It's probably scary to go without clean filter
drinking water and to not know where you're going to get
the next water you need to take a bath,
to wash your hands, to provide for your family.
And they do a really good job of tracking and showing you,
okay, here's where your money went
and here's how they're using that
and here's what they're doing
to empower those local communities
to create sustainable water for their needs.
And since we don't have to deal with that on a daily basis,
I try to constantly remember
that there are many people in the world
who don't have access to the luxuries
and even the necessities that we do.
So please give back.
Water Project's a great way to do it
or find your own way to give back.
Anyway, without further ado,
I'm gonna bring Cindy Whitmer on board
and while I talk to her,
I'm also going to pull some aspects of her bio
and we'll be including that in the recap show notes as well.
So Cindy, it is so great to have you here today.
Thank you for joining me.
Oh, thank you.
It's great to see you, Jackson.
Likewise.
So Cindy and I met about two months ago now
and in our conversation, it was just,
to me it was so evident how deep her EQ was,
her emotional intelligence
and her ability to connect with a stranger,
help me feel those warm fuzzy feelings of like,
wow, I'm in a safe place
and I'm with somebody I really appreciate.
And her website also showcased a lot of her professionality
of her 30 years of professional experience
in counseling, coaching and personal development.
And what really struck me too, I'm not gonna lie,
the authority and credibility aspect came in
when I learned that she learned
and certified with Jack Canfield
and has been studying and working under him and his program
and with people related to him as a long part of her journey.
And he's done so much for this world.
If you don't know who that is,
that'll also be in the show notes.
But Cindy, let's just talk about that for a little bit.
Here he is actually.
Here's Jack Canfield.
Why is he so important?
And feel free to, good, bad, ugly,
is anything you wanna share there, feel free to do so.
Well, I think what impresses me about Jack the most
is that he walks his, you know, he lives what he teaches.
I mean, he's a true transformational coach
because he lives what he teaches
and he spent his entire life, you know,
his adult life helping people
really step into their highest selves
and create a life that's meaningful.
And he's, I mean, I could go on the rest of the day
about this man, but he's really been a guiding light
for me personally and professionally.
And yeah, he's very wise.
He's very, he knows how to bring
really inspirational concepts to a practical level
and teach them well.
And he's actually a teddy bear, but don't tell him I said so.
I won't, I mean, we have to.
$1 million, you know, he sold 500 million books,
you know, suit and tie guy, but yet he's not.
He's like this nice, warm, you know,
strumming on his guitar with his, you know,
his comfortable shirt on and you know what I mean?
He's just,
Let's put those books in perspective.
That's only half a billion.
Okay.
Yeah, it's just a half a billion.
I mean, it's no big deal really.
I mean, he's only in every language on the earth.
And well, every,
I mean, pull that testimonial up, please.
One more time.
Let's go right back to it.
I want to see because you have a testimonial
from Jack Canfield.
And those aren't necessarily easy to come by.
They're also not necessarily hard to come by,
but I don't think he's willing to do that for just anybody.
So Jaime is going to pull that up.
We're going to take a quick read through that as well,
because I think it's very important for people to understand
that when you're endorsed by somebody like Jack Canfield,
you've worked to tell off to build amazing.
But let's see if I can expand this on my screen.
Ooh, the first time I've done that, cool.
This compelling book.
So he's talking about your book.
Which book is Jack talking about?
He's talking about this one,
the midlife makeover method.
Yeah, it came out last year.
It became a bestselling book on Amazon.
And yeah, that's what he's talking about.
Awesome. So the midlife makeover method
takes us on a journey to the trials and tribulations
of midlife for the author and many other women
who all learned how to change the trajectory of their lives
using the midlife makeover method.
Miss Whitmer offers a way out of the struggles to midlife
into one that is joy filled, meaningful,
and leaves the reader looking forward to the future
instead of dreading it.
That is just awesome.
So happy that he wrote that and put context around this
for those who know, like, and trust Jack.
So with that said, you may not be going through midlife yet.
I'm not.
I don't think I am, at least.
And at the same time, I've learned some hard lessons
along the way that taught me maybe it's
wise to look over the hilltop.
Maybe it's wise to pay attention to what's
down my 10, 15, 20-year track path.
So without further ado, beyond the fact
that I'm saying, hey, younger folks, you should listen,
Cindy, who should listen?
Why should they be listening to you?
And what are they going to get out of today's show,
do you think?
Well, I mean, I hope anybody will listen
that's interested in living a fully happy, healthy, successful
life.
But I tend to draw in women in midlife
who are having kind of a crisis, what we call a midlife crisis,
and want something more and just don't know how to get there.
And lucky for me, I have, over all my professional training,
but also my own work on myself, I've
been able to turn my midlife despair into,
you know, I'm living my dream life, honestly, personally,
and professionally.
I'm just super happy, very fulfilled, so blessed,
so grateful.
And I know what it takes.
I know what it takes to get from A to B.
And so if somebody wants to, you know,
have a, if they have a different vision for their lives,
or they know they need something different in life,
please listen up, because we'll address some of the keys
to making that transformation.
Thank you.
So that leads me to a deep question.
Feel free to go as deep or as lightly as you want to on this.
What does that midlife despair look like?
Do you mind sharing a little bit about yours,
and also what it looks like for others?
I don't mind.
For me, it looked like, I mean, in my, about, well,
my early 40s, I would say, I'm 56 now,
but in my early 40s, I'd been married for 20 some years
and was raising a couple of kids.
And what I realized was, is I was living my husband's life.
I was living my kids' lives.
I was living the counseling center's life that I was running.
I was running a nonprofit counseling center at the time.
And I was living for the church, for the schools,
for the scouts, for the volleyball team.
I mean, I was saying yes to everything.
I have this philosophy that if I could do something,
I should do it.
So I said yes to everything, literally everything.
And so I was draining myself dry,
thinking I was doing all this powerful serving, which
I'm not saying I wasn't, but I was also in this marriage
where I felt like I was living his life and not our life
or my life in the context of the marriage.
And I felt like I was starting to just disappear, just
disappear in my own life.
And so I was asking the questions, who am I?
What do I want?
Who am I?
What am I really here for?
What am I really supposed to do?
I'm a spiritual level.
I was asking these questions, as well as on a practical level.
And so I think for me and for many people
when they reach the 40s, the 50s, I mean,
you can loosely define it at any age.
But there comes a time when we've
been through a couple decades of adulthood,
and a lot of us have lived kind of the same routine,
whether it's the same relationship or the same job
or we've been raising kids or whatever.
And we go, wow, like now either the marriage is
kaput or the job feels like a dead end
or the children have left, the nest is empty.
And people go, now what?
Like now what?
Is this it?
Is this all there is?
Is all I have to look forward to, like aging, unless, and death.
I have people say that to me all the time.
And think their purpose is over, too.
Like if they don't like their job anymore,
and if the kids are gone.
And so it's a time of, I think, that midlife despair
is a time of feeling very disconnected
from your own individuality and feeling lost as to how
to get back in touch with that and really create a future
that you look forward to instead of dread.
Wow.
OK.
I love that.
And it reminds me of one of my absolute favorite movies.
You've seen it, but it's called Crazy Stupid Love.
Oh, yeah, Steve Carragher and Julia Moore and Brian Jocely.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah, that's a great example.
Well, it's so funny because you just
opened my mind to the reality that wait a second,
in the movie they juxtaposition the two men
with the exact opposite scenarios
and how both of them are actually reaching a point of despair
in their life.
So here's one who's married and his marriage falls apart.
And what most people would describe
is the worst of ways.
And now he's trying to figure out,
how do I get back into the world and be, who am I?
Where am I?
This bull cut and have forgotten about myself.
And then there's Ryan Jocely on the other side,
who's been Mr. Solo show, Bachelor pad,
live in the high life for years, but he feels completely lost
and stuck and has almost no sense of security.
I would say he doesn't have a base where he belongs.
And so both of them are discovering the opposite
worlds, but they do it in a comedic way
where you almost don't even see all the reality that
exists there.
Yes, I think that underlying theme,
one of the underlying themes there
is they're both lonely men who are disconnected
from what really matters to them or how
to get connected to what really matters to them.
And they both find their way.
And it looks, it's really interesting.
It's a good awareness that you, I
love that you brought that up as an example.
Yeah, it's a fun one.
Everybody should definitely put that on their playlist.
It's a fun one to watch.
That's for sure.
Awesome.
So let's get in the hot seat for a second.
15 seconds.
What's your vision?
15 seconds.
My vision is a world where everyone really
creates their own definition of success and happiness that
also uplifts everyone else.
I love that.
They live that out.
So we shouldn't be living by somebody else's definition
of success.
Grant Cardone says, or what Oprah says is success.
That's limited for her, correct?
And for him, we should figure out
our own definition of success.
How do you do that?
Well, I think you really tap into what you're really drawn to,
what really brings you joy, what experiences you have.
You know when you have those experiences,
that you leave those experiences going, wow,
that felt so good.
Or you're around people where you go, gosh, I want more of that.
And then the opposite teaches us too, you know,
what our vision is.
Like if you get involved in an organization
or you work at a certain place or whatever,
you're hanging out with people and you think, gosh,
I feel like I'm like this alien in this bunch.
Or I'm not really aligned with what's going on here.
This is helping you clarify your vision, right?
Because we want to follow our emotional guidance system
that inner self we all have that tells us,
does this feel good or doesn't it?
Am I right now or am I not?
Am I aligned?
Do I feel like I am on my path right now?
Or do I feel like I am like a fish out of water right now?
These are all indications leading us toward what's really
going to be our definition of joy, meaning, success, whatever
words you want to put on that.
I've been struck and blessed just now
with a powerful question that I don't think
most people ever ask you.
And I think it's one of the secrets to unlocking a lot of truth.
So you mentioned moving towards more of that, right?
More of that substance.
And you also mentioned people right after that.
I think that's imperative close together
because we often want to move more towards something.
And then we've got people in our lives
who often block us from getting access to more of that,
whether it's because they need our time more,
whether it's because they need our attention more,
or because they don't want us to go down that path.
Sometimes that happens.
Now, here you were, let me take this up a notch
before I ask the question, which is here you were
surrounding yourself with a multitude of people.
You weren't a hermit.
You weren't a stay-at-home mom that never talked to anybody
and felt really isolated and boxed in.
You had lots of people.
You mentioned a church.
You mentioned a count-stain center.
You mentioned your kids.
You probably had mom's groups and areas to go to just connect,
connect, connect.
Yet you found yourself making a shift towards more
of who you are because you were depleting what I heard was,
you were depleting yourself by giving so much to others.
But you were forgetting to give to yourself.
So my question for you is, how did you recognize
that you were losing yourself?
And how did you make a transition towards people
who empower you to find you?
Oh, those are great questions.
OK, I forgot the first one.
OK, let's go to the second one.
How did I?
How did you?
Let's just go to the second one.
That's really what I want to get to,
was how did you get to those people who empowered you to be you?
Yeah.
Well, I went on a search.
I went on a search for who, what are,
I love to read these kinds of books.
I find these kind of speakers motivating.
I find these kind of classes interesting.
And I thought, well, who else is reading this stuff?
Who else is attending this stuff?
Who else believes this stuff?
So I started attending personal development workshops,
author platforms.
I started going where other people were searching
for the same thing I was and who were learning the same things
or may be aligned in the same way with what we were learning.
And so I started to be surrounded
by people who really believed in uplifting people,
encouraging people, helping people tap into the best
of themselves, who offered grace to themselves
and other people when we're being human and falling down
a bit and needing to pick ourselves back up.
And that gave me strength to be more honest about who I really
wanted to be and how I needed to really show up for myself
like I was showing up for everybody else.
How did you recognize that turning point?
Was there a moment, and you may have the journal of this,
but if you happen to have it top of mind,
how did you recognize that moment where you're like,
oh my gosh, maybe.
I found that when I go through those experiences,
I usually have not a doubt but an inkling more so of like,
you know what, have I been living for others and not
for myself?
It's not necessarily this bold like, oh, duh,
I should just turn and help myself.
Is there a moment like that that occurred,
or was there a big experience that helped you shift?
What did the shift?
There were a couple of little moments that were huge for me,
and they may sound so silly, but that's when I really knew.
I really knew, oh, I have got to turn the corner here.
So imagine my outside life, my public life,
running the counseling center, coaching the volleyball team,
being the Girl Scout leader, being the home school mom
for both kids, a wide circle of family, friends,
big lay ministry in the church, very confident on top
of my game.
I know what I'm doing.
I'm a leader.
I've got it.
I've got this.
I've got all this.
Then I go home, and my husband at the time,
I'm no longer married to this man,
and he's not a bad guy, but he was very controlling.
It was his, that was one of his things.
And I remember one morning, I got dressed for work,
and he'd done this several times.
He'd said, your hair doesn't look right.
You need to fix it.
Oh, why are you wearing that dress?
You know, whatever.
Criticizing something about my physical appearance
before I would leave to go to work.
And one morning, I didn't push back,
and I went into the closet, and I changed my clothes.
And then he left for work, and the kids got the kids to school,
and I thought, I have so lost myself
that I even didn't just keep the clothes on that I
chose for the day.
What is wrong with me that I thought
I had to change my clothes just because my husband thought
I needed to change my clothes?
So that was one moment I knew, oh my gosh,
you are in serious trouble, Cindy.
If you can't even decide for yourself
and stick to your decision about what you're
going to wear to work today, I mean, it wasn't inappropriate.
There was nothing wrong with what I was wearing.
OK, and then the other time, I realized
I was disappearing in my own life.
The kids got in the car, my car for the hundreds of time,
you know, in there or whatever.
And I had the radio on a station I like to listen to.
And my daughter immediately changed the channel to music
they like to listen to.
And I let them do that all their lives.
And I hadn't even pulled out of the driveway yet
when she did it again.
And I was like, I thought, in my head, I thought,
but I wanted to listen to my music.
And then I thought, Cindy, you are in charge of your life.
So I told my kids, I said, change the channel back.
I am a person.
I remember yelling at them.
I am a person.
I have preferences.
And I wanted to hear my radio station.
It's my car.
Change the channel back.
So I mean, I overreacted.
Sure.
But it was a statement to myself of,
you have got to get your life back, woman.
And you're honest about it.
Thank you.
My goodness, the amount of people who will not admit
that they've yelled at their children
or that they've messed up as a parent, you know,
but that also have not taken control.
There's so many elements of what you said where I'm like,
thank you.
Like human being to human being, you know,
like a leader who doesn't have to act like they're perfect.
That's perfect.
That's awesome.
I'm the girl next door who knows a lot, Jackson.
Oh my goodness.
And so you said that these ideas,
to some they may sound silly, but I think to millions,
this resonates.
I mean, I think we've all been on one side of that equation,
if not on both sides in our relationships,
especially in both those scenarios, right?
I'll own my awful side on the husband's side
of the clothing situation.
Man, I did not like the color yellow.
Like the dark color, to me it looked like puke.
You know, I'm not a big fan.
I don't think I-
How do you want a puke, are you Jackson?
Oh, no way, man, no way.
This yellow is fine.
I'm okay with this one.
It was that like goldish yellow, you know?
I love it.
Okay.
So I don't, and from my perspective, right,
the man side, I wasn't trying to control the scenario.
I wasn't saying, hey, your clothes,
like you have to go change,
but I bet what I said came across that way.
No, maybe.
I bet it did.
And we don't, I think most people have great intentions,
but we also as adults have to learn to communicate
in a way that's respectful,
in a way that creates space and liberates people
and allows people to make their own decisions.
And I did a really piss poor job of that
in my first marriage.
I certainly had my struggles in my second marriage
with that too, the language barrier didn't help.
But it is still, it's so important that we ourselves,
like find our abilities to overcome those scenarios.
I've been in that too.
As a kid, I went through that.
You know, with parents making fun of it
or friends making fun of what you wear or whatever else.
Like there's so many people that go through that
and so many levels.
And, you know, some people call it releasing the inner child,
right?
Going back to your innocent state of finding yourself.
And again, the midlife crisis is often the one
that leads us to be a little bit more open to that, I think.
Again, I'm not there yet,
but that's kind of what I see from the outside perspective
is like you're tired of the pain
that continues to stack in life.
And it's almost like intolerable.
And so you start to have to make a shift.
But I didn't directly ask you,
what powerful lesson can other visionaries
learn from your experience?
I kind of like some lumped these in together.
Is there another powerful lesson you want to dive into?
Yes, thank you for this moment.
Because one of the biggest parts of my turning point
was talking to Jack Canfield actually.
I was at one of his trainings
and I got the great fortune of being
in a small group experience with him.
And he was sitting right next to me.
And we were to go around the room and talk about,
kind of what our vision for our lives was what we wanted
and what was blocking us,
what we felt was getting in our way.
And when it was my turn, I said,
I blamed my husband for everything.
Well, he doesn't want me to be an entrepreneur
and he doesn't let me da, da, da, da.
And he's so short-sighted that he can't do that.
I mean, I was in the blame-complain space.
Total blame-complain space.
And Jack turned to me and looked at me and he said,
Cindy, it is your job to live your life.
And that was like the cloud split open moment for me.
Because what I understood was,
and where I go now in my own life
and where I encourage all of you to go
is to ask yourself, if you're unhappy especially,
like what would your life be like
if you stepped into 100% responsibility for it?
You took full responsibility for your life
because anytime we're pointing our finger at other people
like I was, whether it's your spouse,
whether it's the boss you can't stand,
whether it's the political, whatever's going on,
politically with the president or the country
or whether it's the economy or the weather,
whatever you're trying to blame
because your life isn't great, it's a waste of your time.
It's a waste of your energy
because you can't control the weather,
you can't control the president,
you can't control the, you know,
whatever, whatever, whatever, the husband.
Anything outside of yourself.
Nothing.
This is where we have the power right here
in our own thoughts, our behaviors,
our feelings, our actions.
That's where we can make a difference.
So start there, step fully into it.
And I think the first step is something you were referring to
in your own life, Jackson, was just,
I call it waking up.
I call it just waking up and going,
oh, I am doing this.
I am involved in this pattern of my behavior
and it's not working.
Even my good intentions are causing damage.
Even if my intentions are great, they're causing damage.
Or where am I off path from who I really am,
which is fully love, right?
We're all fully love, really.
So anytime we're judging, right?
Or, you know, just speaking out of turn
or telling somebody else how to live their lives
or whatever we might be doing, we are off path.
And so, yeah, if people don't hear another word from me,
I want them to hear what I heard Jack say,
which was Cindy, step into full responsibility for yourself.
And you will, your life will turn around.
And it did.
He was right.
It works.
It's promise, it works.
Awesome.
And it is a universal principle that he was a vessel for
and the wisdom has existed, but it's so cool
that you got to hear that from him,
where you knew that the resource,
you knew that the source of knowledge on this occasion
was living, you know, what he teaches.
So it's so cool.
And I want to come back to this quote now
because of that.
You said show up for yourself like you show up for others.
Right?
And go ahead, go ahead, hit it.
How do we do that?
I'm all excited, but yes, you know, I...
Oh yeah.
Now the flow state right now is awesome with this interview.
I'm loving, I've got three sets of chills already
in the last 30 minutes.
Well, often, you know, especially with women,
I find in the life is they have,
they know how to love and nurture well, right?
They know how to love other people.
They know how to...
They're here.
That's just not even men's words.
They're here.
We're trying to figure it out.
It's not a man versus woman.
I'm not trying to say men don't know,
but I really do feel there is a nurturing, caring,
loving presence in many women.
It comes naturally to them.
Oh, how can I help out my family?
How can I help out that friend that's got cancer?
How can I help that homeless person
or that person experiencing homeless on the street?
You know, and we know how to do that instinctively.
There's something there.
I agree.
And yet we also are, I think, the gender
that struggles the most with turning it toward ourselves.
Yes.
Like it's so interesting.
Like I rarely hear men feel guilty, for example,
for taking time out for themselves.
And I don't think they ought to feel guilty
for taking time out.
I agree with you.
There are the men who grew up with five older sisters
and a mom who learned these paradigms a little differently.
But you're right.
I feel far less guilty than my mom and my five sisters
and the other women do.
And the guys, my guy friends growing up like abilities,
completely over their head.
Well, I mean, I think if a guy wants to watch the game
on Saturday, he's gonna make sure he can.
And there's nothing wrong with that.
But if a woman wants to watch a show on Friday night,
she's thinking, well, what does everybody else wanna watch?
Or am I supposed to be getting something ready
for the kids for tomorrow?
Multi-tasking while doing it.
You know, you gotta go through the laundry list
and ask everybody if it's okay with everyone first.
You know, if you dominate the remote.
I mean, it's just amazing how often I see that.
And so, yeah, one of the things I find myself teaching women,
especially, is how to love themselves unapologetically.
Like truly love themselves.
And this isn't against anyone.
It's for her.
Because as the cup fills up and overflows,
there's more to give and flow out to others, actually.
So we show up better for others
when we show up for ourselves.
Truly, truly we do.
I love that.
And so, with that said, 30 seconds,
what's your vision for those that you serve?
Well, I really want people to learn
how to love themselves unapologetically, as I just said.
And then also build unwavering confidence
because, you know, you cannot create a life you really want
if you do not have confidence.
So we gotta build those confidence muscles up
so people are willing to try new things,
you know, try something new.
You know, and I wanna help people get crystal clear
about what they really want
because you cannot get what you do not know you want either.
So helping them get crystal clear about what they want,
again, what their definition is
for success, happiness, joy, meaning,
and then build up that confidence
so they can take the steps to get there.
So.
Beyond the business model,
which I know wouldn't be your answer.
But for those who are listening,
why is that important to you?
You know, that you help people find this
unapologetic love for themselves
and build unwavering confidence.
Well, I mean, I could get really, you know,
10 layer philosophical about this,
but I really do want world peace, Jackson.
And so we gotta, if I don't love myself,
we're not gonna get there, right?
I mean.
Do the wave.
Yeah.
It's important to me because, you know,
I think we're all called to do different things.
And I can see in the trajectory of my life
where I have been given experiences
that have taught me some of these lessons.
And I think when we are given information,
when we are allowed experience and wisdom to come
in whatever form, and we know it serves well,
that it's our imperative to share it.
And so it's important to me to share it
because I feel like I've been blessed to be given
some of these teachings and knowings about life.
And it's important because I feel like we are here
to create freedom, growth and joy for ourselves
and each other.
And this is my way of doing that, contributing to society,
I guess you would say, to get us to a point where
we really can love each other and accept one another
and create a great world, honestly.
As cheesy as I might sound.
I don't think that's cheesy.
I think it's a lot to me to do that.
I'm with you on it.
And so a spin on that question, why do you care?
I know it seems obvious.
The obvious and the whole piece makes everybody happy.
I get that and there's that aspect
that people can depreciate, but why do you care?
Why do I care?
I don't know how not to care.
I mean, I just love people so much.
And I love and appreciate life so much.
And it breaks my heart that so many people
are missing out on their own lives
and that they're just suffering, suffering, suffering.
I know there are a lot of schools of thought
and religious teachings and all kinds of beliefs out there
that say, oh, we just suffer through the human experience.
And then there's this great glorious other thing,
you know, later or whatever,
and the earthly life is just one challenge after another
and it's, you know, just get through that
and then when you get to the other side, you'll be okay.
I mean, I understand there's a lot of that out there.
Right.
And, you know, I'm not trying to make anybody wrong,
but it is my belief in knowing
that we can enjoy life here.
And that doesn't mean we're bad people.
We have a good time while we're here.
Right.
And so I just, you know,
I really would love to see people not take life so seriously
and, you know, give themselves forgiveness
when they fall short of what they're, you know,
capable of, because we all do that.
And to just let themselves enjoy themselves,
just do what they want to do.
Most things that people want to do
are not destructive to other people.
You know, I mean, if someone came to me and said,
oh, what I want to do, you know,
is obliterate this whole group of people.
I wouldn't say, oh, you should go do that
if you think that's going to bring you joy.
But nothing we, true joy doesn't come from that.
I think that's the key though.
I think, you know, I would look at that
from a slightly different angle of,
I think like, what you said is true.
What most people want and want,
look what you want to do, yes, when you look
at what you truly want.
Yeah.
But I think a lot of people have a hard time
getting distracted by basic wants, you know.
I'm hungry, so I want a Snickers bar.
No, your body wants nutrients.
And sometimes we're so habitually connected to,
you know, Netflix, alcohol, drugs, pornography,
whatever else it is, you know,
that becomes that instant want
that we end up accidentally sacrificing
things that we truly need, which is what
you're talking about.
Though those wants that aren't the oppressive needs
from outside forces, but the internal needs.
And I think a lot of people are kind of distracted
by that, but that's also why I think the midlife
makeover methods exist, you know, and what you teach
and how you help people start to come into tune
with like, what is it that I'm truly looking for here?
And that's why they need that type of guidance.
So if you haven't already gone to Cindy's website
and you should, if you're in this position
where you're looking for somebody to perhaps help,
you know, you go through a midlife makeover,
or if you're at a earlier stage of that,
but you recognize that she may be able to help you
find greater happiness and greater confidence
in what you do, then CindyWitmer.com is a great place to go.
There's a link to download a free ebook on there
to get started and understand more about what she's putting
out into the world and how she's helping people.
This, the other thing I wanted to ask you about was,
do you have in-person events, one-on-one consultations,
group sessions, where would you guide people to next?
Yeah, you can go to CindyWitmer.com and see what I offer.
Right now I have, you know, private coaching going on,
one-on-one coaching that is on the phone or on Zoom,
so you can be anywhere.
And we can do that kind of work together.
From time to time, I start group coaching experiences
and go through, you know, a 90 day group coaching experience.
So I will probably do one of those this fall.
So if you're interested, you know, you can email me,
let me know, and I'll get you on a waiting list for that.
I also am a speaker, so if you're a business or organization
or association or whatever needs a speaker
or some kind of training on these ideas or leadership
or things like that, then please, you know,
let me know about that.
And if I can serve you in that way, I'm happy to do that.
So everything's there at CindyDWitmer.com.
And yeah, I'd be happy to hear from anyone
that feels they're ready for another step.
If you want a deep dive, really deep dive,
and you know you're ready,
then we should have a conversation for sure.
That's awesome.
I think that's wise, you know,
get in touch with leaders like Cindy.
You know, explore the process so that you're not, you know,
wandering down the side streets and alleys, you know,
when you could have somebody, you know,
take you right through the jungle
or through the busy, crazy city of life
to those destinations of hope and joy.
And I would agree with you 100% on the fact
that we do, many of us are blessed
with the opportunity to pursue joy in this life
and to pursue happiness.
You know, while it's not, in my opinion,
it's not something we're entitled to,
it's not something that we're guaranteed.
There are formulas, you know,
that if we can learn the formulas and the framework
and we happen to have those right connections.
And our life, or we foster those right connections,
you know, by reaching out and, you know,
we can find ourselves accessing those types of experiences.
And it's not something that's forbidden.
You know, it's something that is encouraged.
Your soul typically wants that.
So I'm gonna circle back a little bit.
So these, there's people out there who, you know,
may feel a bit hopeless, you know,
they may feel a bit stuck with where they're at.
And so naturally, if you feel stuck,
hope is not something, you know,
that you're very, very fond of.
You tend to be like, go away.
You know, like, do you tend to work with more people?
Do you have a resource you'd refer people to
beyond the hotline that are closer
to that darker stage of hopelessness,
like a book or something?
And, you know, do you tend to gravitate
towards helping people who are more ready
towards maximizing happiness in their life
and truly unlocking it?
Does that make sense, that question?
Yeah, yeah, I feel like you're talking about, you know,
kind of an extreme where some people are so stuck,
they feel hopeless, they feel helpless.
They don't know which way is up or down
and are really stuck and don't know where to turn.
And then there's people who seek out coaching
for just, you know, they're going along in life.
They're doing okay, but they just wanna,
they just wanna up their game.
So coaching is appropriate for both of those.
My work is appropriate for both of those scenarios.
But if someone's just out there right now
and listening to us and they're sitting there just hopeless,
feeling helpless, stuck,
then I just, I wanna say to them, you know,
you're not alone.
Most people have felt, been there
or are some are there with you, you just don't know it.
And if you cannot see any hope right now
as you look at today or next week,
then one of the first things I would ask you to do
is think back to a time you felt really happy
or you felt really good.
Something really felt meaningful to you
or felt like a success.
You know, just something that felt good to you.
Maybe you were a really good student
when you were in high school.
Maybe, you know, you're a great friend.
Maybe you took this amazing trip in, you know, 2010
and you just had such a great time
and went to several countries or, you know, whatever,
but tap into some very positive memories
and or other seasons in your life
that were very difficult that you have survived
because no matter how hopeless you feel today,
whether you're 25 or 55 or 75, you have survived stuff
somehow.
So you had strength, you had knowings,
you had support, you had something
that got you through some dark times before.
So either call on those positive memories from the past
and recognize your strengths and qualities
and things that mattered to you then
and, you know, what parts of yourself
you really loved about yourself at that time
that's still in there.
You're just feeling a little disconnected right now.
Or look back at what you've been through before
and survived and let that empower you to go,
I've gotten through dark times before.
Here's what I can access within myself
to help pull myself out of this.
These I know, who do you know for sure loves you
or cares for you, be willing to be vulnerable.
You know, really what we all want according to Renee Brown
who's another great resource, I gotta tell you.
If you don't know what Renee Brown is
and you really wanna move the needle in your life,
check all of her work out.
But she talks about vulnerability
and the important stuff of it.
She has the most popular TED talk, I think,
in the world or one of the top three
or something about vulnerability.
And our deep desire, all of us, to have connection
and belonging.
And if you're feeling hopeless,
that's what you're needing.
You're hungry to really connect to someone,
another human being about real life
and you're wanting to belong.
And so start that, where did you feel you belonged before?
Where, you know, when have you felt connected to people?
What really, if there's anything at all
that you feel attracted to or excited about, that's a clue.
Go start moving into that direction and see what unfolds.
I love it and I love your passion
for teaching and opening that light to people up.
Thank you so much, Cindy.
I'm gonna recap a little bit of that right now.
So visionary entrepreneurs who are listening,
Cindy's talking about improving your mindset,
which you've often probably heard
is one of the most important things that you can do.
It's really one of the greatest secrets
to sustainable revenue growth
and building what you wanna build.
Some people also call it removing the head trash, right?
And you've got both aspects.
It's removing the negative,
it's replacing it though too with the positive, you know,
and creating improvements that then offset
and make it impossible for the negative
to come back on that bookshelf.
While our minds are expansive and ever growing
at the same time, it is very hard to make place
for the negativity when you've expanded the positivity
on the shelves within your brain.
So Cindy, thank you for all the incredible value
that you threw down today.
Vision Pros have a fantastic week
and we look forward to seeing you on the other side.
Don't hesitate to connect with Cindy via email
or the other social links available
and we would love to see you subscribe,
write reviews and share Vision Pros.
We appreciate you so much.
Everybody have a great day.
Thank you.
Thank you for being here today.
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