Christiane [00:00:00]:
Well, hello there, and welcome back to the Happy, Healthy Hustle podcast. My name is Christiane, and I'm your host. And let's introduce our guest, Wendelin. Welcome.

Wendelin [00:00:10]:
Thank you. I'm very excited to be here. My name is Wendelin Vandranan. I'm an international award winning novelist who has had a couple of her books turned into movies. I feel really blessed to have landed here in my life, seeing how I didn't start from a really good place.

Christiane [00:00:31]:
So why don't we get started and talk a little bit about your superpower, Vandalin?

Wendelin [00:00:35]:
I would say it's probably persistence, tenacity, something along those lines where I just, despite the odds against me, I don't give up. I live in California and my parents are from the Netherlands. So they came to the United States with an american dream, and they also brought along their work ethic. So we were brought up with this pretty strong work ethic, and I think that has helped me in life and in pursuit of things that weren't easy to accomplish.

Christiane [00:01:11]:
Love it. And actually, there is a thing that I created, and you will totally appreciate it. It's called petite practices, where I'm teaching that tiny habits lead to big results if you keep doing them consistently and they create actually good work habits because frequently we are so intimidated by big projects. But if you really break it down, it becomes very achievable. And it's also, of course, a very european thing to do, like small little things and keep going at them.

Wendelin [00:01:42]:
I love a list. A list is how I get through my everyday and also how I get through my bigger projects. So when I decided that I wanted to be a writer, I had a full time job and I had two little kids, and I would get up at 05:00 in the morning when my husband went to work. And I would, before my job started, I would carve out like half an hour in the morning before one of my kids would wake up and I would work on my novel. And so a half an hour a day over the course of a year added up to a novel. So that's, that's kind of how I pieced together my writing. Life is just what you were saying. Exactly.

Wendelin [00:02:25]:
It's just you take, if you take a little bit every day and work on something that you're passionate about, by the end of, you know, six months even, you're going to see some considerable and substantial improvement.

Christiane [00:02:37]:
This is petite practices in practice, my own little creation of the european infused way of getting things done. Love it. And I love this amazing example. So perseverance we have, the grit that led to novels. Why don't we kind of, like, peel back a little bit and look at the challenges? Because to me, right now, this sounds like it was smooth sailing. I want to hear a little bit more about the hills in your life. Right.

Wendelin [00:03:10]:
Well, they're more like mountains. So my parents being my parents, we were encouraged to go into the fields of science, something that you could be employed with, not the creative aspects of, like, novel writing. And so I wasn't interested in writing novels. It wasn't something that I was particularly good at, probably because it wasn't my parents first language. You know, English wasn't my parents first language, and so it was. And we were expected to get good grades in school. So language arts was not my favorite because it just seemed like it was subjective. Like, the teacher could say they didn't like something as opposed to math, where if you had the right answer, you had the right answer.

Wendelin [00:03:52]:
So it wasn't something that I wasn't. I was going to go off and do so. And I went to college, and I got degrees that were science based. But along the way, bad things happened to my parents, and they had their own business, and it was destroyed by an arsonist. And. And I just didn't know how to deal with the anger and the fury that I felt over that somebody could do this bad stuff to good people who were just hardworking people. And so I would wake up in the middle of the night, and you just realize that your life is that nightmare you were having. And so this is why I started writing.

Wendelin [00:04:33]:
I started writing because I just started writing about the things that had happened. But it didn't change anything. It just. Life was still very, very hard. Six months after the building was destroyed, my dad died. And so that left our family completely devastated. And so I would say my hardest hurdle was getting through those very, very dark years. And it was writing that helped me do that.

Wendelin [00:05:02]:
And it wasn't just writing about what had happened. It was me then segueing into fiction and writing about catching the bad guy and what I would do if I caught the bad guy, and I would put them in jail. And then I. But then I realized, you know, as I'm writing this fantasy about catching the bad guy, I'm like, wait, no, I could torture him first. And then why? Why not just kill him off? So it became my therapy for what had occurred. And I didn't know anything about writing or about. Or about subplotting or characterization or I didn't know what theme was because I hadn't cared in school and how all of a sudden, I had been bitten by the writing bug. And for me, it was kind of justice on the page.

Wendelin [00:05:51]:
And so my first foray into writing was just complete therapy. And from that, eventually we got through those dark years. I became a schoolteacher, and I just saw that the teens in my classroom were going through some really difficult times and things that I also recalled as a teen. And so I started writing books that were suitable for them, and then off I went. So it took me ten years to break into publishing. And that's another thing about the small steps. You have to continue to take the small steps forward, because you will run into so many obstacles in your life and people telling you no, or that you can't do something or that you're not a right fit or all those things that people will tell you. And so if you continue to take the small steps, it may take you time.

Wendelin [00:06:44]:
But I now, after ten years of rejections from publishers, I now have over 30 books in print, and I have this amazing life that I wouldn't have had if I hadn't taken those daily small steps to stay on the path toward my goal.

Christiane [00:07:01]:
This is beautiful. The hill and how you. Well, mountain. Sorry, the european mountain, the snow on the top. And how you actually used the challenge to turn the challenge into your story and how your story then became a book. So I guess I have two questions now. Were you ever thinking of writing about the fact that somebody set the building on fire and what happened?

Wendelin [00:07:31]:
Not anymore. I just want to move past that in my life. I feel like it was such a dark time. And the challenge, I think, in life is to take our dark times and grow from them and then be able to leave them behind. It's hard to carry all the baggage of hurt along with us, and it's beneficial if we can find ways to say, okay, this. Equip me with these skills that I have used for these positive things in life, and then leave the baggage behind.

Christiane [00:08:07]:
Yeah, that makes good sense. In fact, I always compare our experiences to elements in a suitcase where we all carry suitcases, and from the outside, it's like, okay, so they have some issues, but then you really open it up, and you're like, oh, my gosh, what is really in your suitcase? I didn't even know. So that's really when you meet people and you become really great friends because you're learning about their baggage and what they're carrying along with and makes them super special creates a superpower, but at the same time are also some challenges and some dark spots in their life that they have gone through. And frequently we get our superpower because of those challenges.

Wendelin [00:08:52]:
Exactly. It's the fire that forges us into a useful tool.

Christiane [00:08:56]:
So the way that you're using your grit now is maybe driven by the fact that you saw that experience in the past and you kept going through it and past it. And it sounds absolutely traumatic, what you're.

Wendelin [00:09:14]:
Saying about the suitcase. So the latest novel that I've written is called the Peach Rebellion. And there's a girl in there who's very poor, and she has a bicycle that she's had to repatch. It's set in 1947. So it's a historical novel or a period piece. And she has this bicycle, and she has to. It's been patched. The tube of her tire has been patched a lot.

Wendelin [00:09:42]:
And she talks about how people will see the tire, and they don't understand how many times she's had to patch it on the inside. So it's a similar thing.

Christiane [00:09:52]:
Exactly. Yeah, they basically see, oh, this looks like a great bike right there. But then you really peel it back and it's like, no, actually it works because I've patched it.

Wendelin [00:10:02]:
Right, right.

Christiane [00:10:03]:
And there are maybe even stories related to having an accident or something that led to a leak in the tube of that particular tire or anything, but I went ahead and patched it anyway. And actually, I resonate with that very well, because sometimes in life, it's not really that we just want to replace the bike, but the bike then itself carries so many stories that we feel I owe it to the bike now to keep it, because it's really serving me well. And so I'm going to keep patching it because there's all these memories of challenges that I overcame, and all the patches now remind me of my resilience, how I moved past it. And I'm laughing because I have a robe that I wore when I had both children. And, of course, if you think back now, you know, like, I wore that robe sometimes, like, you know, 24/7.

Wendelin [00:11:05]:
Out.

Christiane [00:11:06]:
Of my pajama the other day, I looked at it and I said, man, that robe is, you know, it's like 16 years old now, but I can't replace it because it has all these stories of raising children, sleepless nights, and whatever issues I struggled with in my life when I had to wear that rope. So now the rope is like the tire tube of that bicycle where I patched up so much, I'm like, I gotta go hold on to that rope. So it's memories right there.

Wendelin [00:11:38]:
The other thing that brings to mind what your suitcase analogy or metaphor brings to mind is that I talk about it like your toolbox. And that's how I've kind of started taking negative experiences in life, or even negative people, you know? And you just. You have to look at them as they are equipping you. Like, these experiences equip you with a. With a certain skill or knowledge that then you can pull out of your toolbox when you need them and use them. And so if we think of it as being even negative experiences, it's helping provide you with it, with the tools that you need to get through your next experience, because now you have. Now you have knowledge about it. So I look at it as like, life is like a toolbox, and you just.

Wendelin [00:12:24]:
You want to put all the tools you possibly can into it, because you never know when you're going to have to pull one out and use it.

Christiane [00:12:31]:
Oh, this is like in the forest Gump movie, right? Life is like a box of chocolate. Well, what or who helped you to overcome that challenge back there?

Wendelin [00:12:40]:
Oh, well, the writing helped me a whole lot, but I also, I picked out a really good guy. He's a writer, too, but he's somebody who listens. He listens, and he helps me through my rough patches. I think your life partner is such an important choice. And it's interesting, probably my most well known book, because it's the one that was turned into a feature film by Warner brothers, is called flipped. And the reason that I wrote that book was because I saw that the students in my classroom were doing the same thing that I had done when I was younger, and that is, we crush on somebody, but we don't really know that much about them. And I think that people wind up in marriages sometimes where they didn't really know what they were getting into. They just were all flush with, you know, love and.

Wendelin [00:13:44]:
But maybe the choice wasn't the best one for them. And so the book flipped is a story telled, told, told from two perspectives. A boy gets a chapter, and a girl gets a chapter, and they go back and forth, and he's totally annoyed with her, and she's totally in love with him. And so they go back and forth and back and forth, and in about midway, the girl starts to see that this boy she's had a crush on since she was really little is nothing but a liar and a sneak. So she starts to see him for who he is. And about the same time, the boy starts to see that this girl he's been avoiding all these years is actually cool in a very unusual way, but she's sort of cool. And I wrote that book because I had these students in my classroom, and I knew that talking to them as an adult about finding the right life partner or making sure you're looking beneath the surface of the person that you have a crush on so you really know them was something that they weren't going to accept from an adult in their life, but they would accept from a fictional character who they could identify with. So.

Wendelin [00:14:52]:
And it turns out it's this very popular book, and I think it's because it speaks to a lot of people and their experiences.

Christiane [00:15:02]:
So. And actually, it brings up a really good point because I sometimes think with regard to getting to know people, it's really the number of high quality relationships in your life that far outweighs the number of connections. Right. So it's really the quality versus the quantity that I keep emphasizing. And that kind of goes back to the petite practices. So for you to be a really good friend, to be consistently reaching out to your good connections is really what builds and fosters these deep relationships. Getting to know people and getting to know their baggage versus just keeping on adding connections just to say, oh, I know a thousand people. I don't think you do know a thousand people.

Christiane [00:15:51]:
I think those are just random people that wouldn't be there if you really struggle with an issue right there.

Wendelin [00:15:58]:
Right.

Christiane [00:15:58]:
So the encouragement of getting to know somebody and really figuring out, is that a life partner? Do I know? The baggage is that somebody that I feel, in German, we have this saying that's like, through thick and thin. Right, right.

Wendelin [00:16:16]:
Because that's the goal, really, is to have someone who understands you and walks through life with you.

Christiane [00:16:22]:
Yes.

Wendelin [00:16:24]:
So I was really fortunate to have someone that I, you know, he's. He's been my. My main support and the person that I turn to. And I understand that that's kind of a rare thing, and it shouldn't be. It should be. Everybody should have a life partner like that.

Christiane [00:16:45]:
Any encouragement or tips or advice of how to find that amazing life partner?

Wendelin [00:16:51]:
Don't be in a rush. Take your time and then do things together. Like do things beyond the coffee date, beyond going to dinner, do the things which tax you, that show the person's character when things aren't perfect and then listen. I mean, does the person listen to you? Do they have. Do they have deep care for getting you to a better place. If you're struggling with something or do you find yourself turning to other people to talk about that? The person you should talk to is your life partner. And if you don't have that sort of relationship before you tie the knot, look at that closely, because ideally, that's what's going to get you through the many years that you hope to have together.

Christiane [00:17:42]:
A little bit of soul searching should be involved. And sometimes that also helps to talk to your best friends and say, also, what do you see right here? What is really going on? And have honest friends that actually give you feedback about this.

Wendelin [00:17:57]:
So, but saying that, that brings something else to my, which is so important. And that is, before you look for a partner, you need to know yourself and not just fall into the path that you see laid out for you. Like, you have to have this by X and this by Y and this by Z. Instead of, you have to figure out yourself who you want to be. Like, what kind of person do you want to be, and what are the traits that you hold dear to yourself that you think are important? And again, it's like one of these things you can't talk to teens about because their mind's in a different place. So these ideas, that kind of hard won wisdom, as I call them, I try to impart them to my readers in a way that doesn't preach to them, but that gives them stuff to think about for their own lives.

Christiane [00:18:56]:
This is so good. Thank you so much. And for everybody that tuned in today for this episode, of course, where can we get in touch with you?

Wendelin [00:19:06]:
I'm on social media and I have a website and it's under my name. So Gwendolyn van Drannen or Gwendolyn Van D. Thank you.

Christiane [00:19:13]:
And of course, to everybody that listened in here today, check out the books, look at the website. If you are in the mood after reading one of those books, check out the movie as well. And we certainly are excited to see what's up in the future, what's coming up next. To everybody else that tuned in today, I really recommend that you listen to this episode with Julia, Casa de confidence, and you tune in and get her wisdom about listening first and then becoming a speaker because I think that fits really well. If you enjoyed this episode, you will enjoy hers as well. Otherwise, enjoy the rest of your day. Stay happy, healthy, and keep hustling along. Thank you.