Christiane [00:00:09]: Welcome back to the Happy Healthy Hustle podcast where we explore the intersection of health, happiness, and productivity. I'm your host, Christiane, and I welcome you to come back and join us with a wonderful and amazing guest. And before I welcome this guest, I'm going to read out the podcast fan of the week. So this week's podcast fan is c e p c p t y or c p t y. However you pronounce it. If you read it all in one word, And the title of the review is podcast is a gem. So the review reads, I'm so happy to found this podcast And Christiana, what a gem. Absolutely love it. Christiane [00:00:57]: This is so kind and so appreciative of this amazing review. Thank you so much, c e p c p t y, because I totally appreciate the feedback and your very kind words. If you have not left the review, go to Apple Podcasts, look at the happy healthy hustle. And leave me a review. I will do a little shout out to you on the show. I always adore when I get your feedback With that, I'm sure you can't wait to hear who is the guest today on this show. Well, it's Carmen Benton. And Carmen is a retired corporate executive, mom of 3, a renowned freedom coach, and master energy healer. Christiane [00:01:39]: With her extensive experience and expertise, Common empowers driven souls to thrive and reach the next level in their lives, relationships, careers, and businesses. As a public speaker and podcast host of Living Intentionally with Carmen Benton, She shares her profound insights on activating one's capacity for quantum leaps by healing unresolved childhood traumas without the need to reexperience the pain. She's originally from Panama and now resides in Alaska. Carmen is also a published author with that. Welcome, Carmen. Such a multitalented individual. I am so glad you're here on the BLP Buzz Hustle podcast. Carmen [00:02:22]: Thank you, Christiana, for having me. It's so nice to be here with you, after we connected in my podcast, Because you are a gem, so I totally agree with that review. Christiane [00:02:32]: Oh, you're so sweet. Thank you. And, of course, what we want to think about is Carmen, is now living in Alaska. So big shout out, California to Alaska right there. And I know we are sometimes so intrigued, About living there, maybe just in one word, how would you describe your life in Alaska? Oh, it's different In a different is good. I like that. We kind of, like, want to embrace always, learning a little bit about, living in a different state that Many of you of us may not have visited. I've been to Anchorage, Alaska, which is where Common lives. Christiane [00:03:11]: And the next time I go, we'll for sure let you know so that we can get together. But right now, we've heard about Carmen. We've kind of, like, got a little peek into We would love to know what is your superpower, Carmen. Carmen [00:03:26]: Oh my god. If I have to pick 1, I would say my superpower is being able to help my clients Achieve balance in life. I feel like for my most of my adult life, I was always seeking That je ne sais quoi that would make me happy. And, you know, I wasn't overachiever at my work before I decided to Go full into my sole purpose, which is coaching and helping people thrive. But I was always looking for that thing. And surprised, I couldn't find it because that thing wasn't outside of me. That thing was inside of me, And it came when I was able to find balance between my mind, my body, and my soul. Christiane [00:04:22]: That's amazing. So it's something that many of us probably struggle with. I guess keeping on searching for who's Who am I? What's the best version of myself? And then making that version shine because that's truly actually a superpower in itself Carmen [00:04:44]: Mhmm. Christiane [00:04:45]: That You are able to discover other people's superpower. So I Carmen [00:04:49]: love that. And then Christiane [00:04:50]: maybe even polish it and make it shine so that people are truly thriving in whatever they do in their lives. Right. And it sounds like from your description, that's really what you are doing now. And we always, like, sometimes, like, you know, looking at this and especially for the audience that for the audience that listens to this now, they're like, well, it looks like she got her life all good together. She's balanced. She's amazing. This is super inspiring. I would love to hear a little bit from you, Carmen. Christiane [00:05:18]: What has been your biggest challenge, though? Because it sounds like before you tapped into the superpower, There were definitely some imbalances. Share with us maybe what the biggest one was and how you overcame it. Carmen [00:05:31]: And I was gonna say, where do I start? Christiane [00:05:34]: Next time. Carmen [00:05:35]: But, I have been actually recapping on my story, for different projects that I have been doing lately, so I think I'm pretty Polish, and I can I can sincerely say what the story is? But, you know, like many of us, I Grew up with childhood traumas that I didn't know were there. I'm gonna be victimize Myself or or shame anybody, but it's just the way we process information. And those events in my life, mold me in a way that what resulted of the adult carmen was this Always looking for praise, recognition, reward, and ways to feel validated from the exterior world and, at the same time, caused me to shut down my feelings because I made up my mind very early, subconsciously, because none of this happens. You're saying, okay. Now I'm gonna shut down my heart. Right? But very early, I decided that love wasn't safe. And so that caused me to become this person who excel at everything I did professionally. But quite frankly, even though it look in paper that I had Everything. Carmen [00:07:00]: Like you said earlier, I had my life, you know, together. My personal life was a disaster. Relationships, I had been divorced couple of times, and it really got to me when I realized that The one connection that really mattered to me was the connection with my children. That one was also Suffering because, inadvertently, I became the exact same mother I vouch never to become Because it's all that I knew. And this is the cycle that I see so many people. Right? Like, with me was my relationship with my mom, but I See it. You know? I have male clients too. It it's there's always a relationship in your life that force who you become. Carmen [00:07:50]: And until you heal The wounds of those relationships, of those events, you have no choice but to Keep living that and reproducing in your life subconsciously. So, Christiane [00:08:05]: you know Carmen [00:08:06]: yes. So 4 years later, I realized that all this was happening, and I started my healing journey, which led me to let to delve into energy and, somatic Work on top of all the mindset tools that I already had. Christiane [00:08:29]: So you said 4 years later, When was the time that Carmen [00:08:33]: you were born? 40. 40. I mean, 40 years later. So I started my healing journey around 40 years old. I'm 48 now. Christiane [00:08:40]: It's amazing. It's amazing that you know exactly, that particular what may what triggered that? Why at 40? Was there I mean, like, some people say, oh my gosh. I trade 40, and all of a sudden was that how it happened? Carmen [00:08:55]: Or No. No. I got to the pinnacle of my professional career at that point. I have reached the corner office. I had all the accolades that I, You know, wanted I have 2 engineering degrees. I have an MBA from Harvard. I was the vice president of a company, the only woman in the boardroom most of the time, The 1st Latina vice president in the company of, you know, all these accolades and accomplishments, and I have never felt more unhappy in my life. And that was you know, that's when I realized it's like, there's no Another gold medal that is gonna make me be happy. Carmen [00:09:39]: There has to be something else. And I remember googling, like, how to be happy. That's how sad it was in my life. Like, how to be happy. Like and and I remember, like, Coming across people who were happy spirits like I feel like I am now, and it would just make me mad Because I couldn't stand that other people were happy and I wasn't. And then I was ashamed that that was happening. Right? And then I was feeling guilty that I wasn't grateful of all the things that I had. But this is the beauty. Carmen [00:10:13]: And why I speak so freely about it is that after I have gone through my healing journey and by the way, healing journey is a journey. It continues. But I'm in a place now where I can help others to, you know, start in progressing the journey because I'm so ahead in it. But after going through that and speaking so freely about it, there's so many people, So many people that feel the same way. And I cannot tell you how many times I had people in my podcast or I have had conversations or my clients, And it's like they are telling me my story in their own words because a lot of people go through this quietly because they are ashamed. They are ashamed to say, hey. I should feel happy, but I'm not. Christiane [00:11:02]: I love that you're emphasizing the external validation and how little satisfaction you personally got from achieving that, because that is what the the public sees. Mhmm. And they see, oh, she's this accomplished individual. Has all these accolades. She's at the top of her career. How lucky she must be and how happy she must be where truly External validation doesn't equal internal happiness. So that was beautiful how you just described to us. So what happened then? So you just decided to leave your job, or what happened? Carmen [00:11:44]: Yeah. No. It took me it took me a while, actually, to be able to make that decision, I I was, accustomed. I have built a life, you know, with that salary, and And I had all these rules and beliefs I had to work through, that, you know, would not it it it would've been impossible for me to do that and be, you know, sane with myself. Right? So, actually, one of the books that, I have published, it's a it's a coauthor book, And my chapter is about finding the courage to jump and going beyond what you know is certain is certain in your life. So, it took me couple of years to really go deep inside myself and start shifting my mindset about life. Mhmm. And really dig into, You know, what I believe, why I believe it, are those believed minds? Do they come from somebody else? How do they make me feel? Are they truth? And really start paying attention the way I I would talk to myself. Carmen [00:12:48]: There was a lot of, You know, as I said, shame and guilt talk in the way I would refer to the things I did or the things I feel. I sorry. I felt. And so that journey led me to really digging into self compassion and forgiveness and realizing the alchemy power of those emotions. And when you start really standing In this world, looking at your life and then other people's with compassion, with love, with acceptance, You it's almost like you change your glasses. Like, you have these pair of lenses, and you take them off with all the trauma and the pain, The limiting beliefs, the conditioning of society, you take them off and you print your new glasses, and it's like, oh, I'm not color blind anymore. Right. Like that, I can only believe that or imagine that someone who is colorblind and gets special glasses will have that effect. Carmen [00:13:50]: It's like, oh my god. Everything has so much Color, so much light, so much love. And through that, then I was able to really tap into what What is that make me happy? Right? What is that I'm here to do? And I have been coaching for a long time Because I had the privilege to have teams under me. So I always had people that needed my support, that needed my encouragement, then needed empowerment. And, I mean, I was getting paid in a way, right, because I was an executive. So I always was coaching people through my career. And I that was the best part of my job was to help other people bust through their limiting beliefs, to the glass ceiling to know they were limitless to do what they wanted to do in life and have that sense of contribution to someone else's life. And so that's what I decided to do. Christiane [00:14:48]: What I'm really hearing is the journey Still ongoing Mhmm. Made you realize that one aspect of your job was really the one that was most fulfilling, And that was also the one where you're feeling you can pass on your knowledge to others and help them. And I think in a certain way, it's Helping others to help yourself really plays true here to where you're through the coaching, realize that, That's really your dedication, and that's your purpose in life. How beautiful. And, I mean, I I also love the name of your podcast, Living Intentionally. Having that intention there in knowing what you're what you're really doing is absolutely amazing. A freedom coach. I love that to have the the freedom to where you're not feeling you need to do these things to earn those prizes, but rather you need to do these things because it connects with your soul. Christiane [00:15:45]: Right. Absolutely amazing. Yeah. Carmen [00:15:47]: Thank you. Thank you. Christiane [00:15:49]: So, of course, We get a little glimpse into your superpower. We learned some of the challenges, and you also described to us that there was a slow trickling of awareness that settled When when you are not happy in your job, is there any other influence that led you to change your career path? Was there a person, You mentioned the book. Right? But is there anything else that you say was your biggest influence in Your transformation to the person, the Carmen, that's sitting here today. Carmen [00:16:26]: Well, it it was it was really my children. Right? Like, I when they woke up and was really like that. When they woke up, and I realized That I have screwed up. I have not become the mom I always wanted to become. And, you know, I I had Every sign of burnout possible manifesting in my body. Daily migraines. I had hives everywhere in my body. I had peptic ulcers. Carmen [00:16:57]: I couldn't sleep. I was gaining weight. I was moody and grumpy all the time. But I have totally normalized that, you know, and make it it's part of being successful. That's what being a successful woman Looks like. And so I had just, like, ignored those signs for the longest time, but it was when you know, as my children got older And my oldest, became a teenager and gaining more independence and even a girlfriend Where then, you know, there was no reason to hang up with mom, I realized, oh, wait. What? Like, I'm losing him already. He's not even, like, college age. Carmen [00:17:39]: And, you know, here I am telling myself a lie that I had until he turned 18 to make it up. But, no, it happened quicker than I thought. And so, you know, that was a lot of grief because I felt like, you know, I totally failed there. But At the same time, I look at oh, I have 2 other kids. I still have time to make it up to the other ones. And so I was still Trying to make it out with my older one, but I'm, like, really trying at that moment, right, like, to turn the chip, you know, all the way to the left and and Change the future because there is nothing we can do about the past. It's already done, and you can see there and it's been another 10 years, You know, being a martyr, a victim of your decisions, or you can make any day going forward better. And that's what I chose to do. Christiane [00:18:31]: Yeah. Really beautiful and especially with children. I know it's whether you have or you have not, capsule in audience. Sometimes, people tell you, oh, you blink an eye and they are going to college. And And then you're like, yeah. Right. Yeah. I am treating diapers. Christiane [00:18:50]: But it's actually really true. And, time goes by so fast. Especially when you have children, it seems that you really notice these quick transformations Because they usually don't happen. There is no, like, you know, a little warning label that it's, you know, oh, here we are, teenagers right now, and, oh, we're looking at girlfriends. Friends, it's just happening. And they are transforming, and they, of course, wanna become their own independent human beings. And that Part of it is also that they maybe, control their own lives a little bit and maybe want to hang out mess with you, which It's not necessarily a bad sign. It's just kind of growing up. Christiane [00:19:31]: But at the same time, if you are planning On still hanging out with them for 3 more years, that is an immense shock. Oh, you know, I can only run into this. I have, teenage girls as well, and I'm noticing how quickly that goes. And that, you know, sometimes You need to really make every moment count, and it does not so, you know, speaking of of the external prices, it does not have the most expensive thing, fanciest thing could just be simple moments. And it doesn't even have to be a long stretch of time, like 3, 4 hours. It could just be like half an hour going for a walk around the block That we do. And, that's something that I really cherish and treasure, and I try to make sure that they understand that, For me, it's important to do that. And, well, I don't expect that they say, mom, this was the best part of my life. Christiane [00:20:22]: At least they know that I'm making myself present, and I'm there for them. If they have a problem, then I'm listening. Carmen [00:20:29]: Oh, one day, they will say that was the best part Christiane [00:20:31]: of their life. How can we get ahold of you, Carmen? So I Carmen [00:20:34]: would say the best place to, find out more about What I teach is, YouTube, and that is at the carmenvention. That's the handle. Also works in pretty much every other platform. So Christiane [00:20:48]: Amazing. And, of course, you have this podcast. Remind us again about the name, your website, and the book. Carmen [00:20:56]: The podcast is Living Intentionally with Carmen Benton, and you can find it in YouTube, and you can also find it in Spotify or Apple, podcast. My website is carmenbenton.com, so that's super easy. And, oh, the books there's several books that I have, so you can see those in my website too. Yes. Stop it. Christiane [00:21:17]: So with that, we are at the end of today's episode. Remember that health, happiness, and productivity are interconnected. I'm so grateful you were here on today's episode of the Happy Healthy Thank you so much, Carmen, for joining in here today. Carmen [00:21:34]: Thank you, Christiana, for having me.