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You are such a prim, proper, one of the nicest people.

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And you know what, I tell you what's in the back of my head.

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I was asking myself this a couple of days ago, all the way to today, to tonight,

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before we start shooting, right? Then look, Chris, are you going to be potty-mouthed?

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You know it's going to be quite hard because for a fact, if people like Glenn and FD

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watch this show, which I don't think they will, but anyway, watch this show and see me

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having a chat with you and my mouth's all potty, they're going to go, Chris, why have you

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disrespected Dr. Geraldine? That's how I think, I can just hear it happening.

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Really? Yeah.

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But it's your personality and it's no disrespect to anyone, right? So how is that disrespecting

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if you're being... Well, see, that's you saying it, but for us, we feel like she doesn't deserve

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to be given the potty-mouth treatment. But you know, but when I do that with any guests,

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when I do that with any guests, I don't do it on a whim. I don't do it directed at the person.

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It's always in passing or it's just really expressive, you know, but it's just like,

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I've got my school teacher seated with me and I cannot be potty.

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Unless you give me permission.

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That's the strangest thing you see. Yeah, because I don't think I've ever asked

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whether you would be offended, whether you think you're being disrespected if

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I were to be potty-mouthed. I think the last time we did and you were like,

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hey, don't mind. I was like, yeah, then be whatever, right? So it's very strange.

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So yes, I did notice this pattern. I'm not sure why. So if you can figure out why,

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so that's something I'm trying to figure out. I think I've explained it.

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It's sometimes when you have people that you know are genuine and sincere and nice,

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and you are all that really. And certainly it's written all over you.

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It's written all over you. You're a kind person. People can open up to you.

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And that's the reason why you do what you do too. And that's absolutely,

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it's a match made in heaven, frankly speaking. What you do and the person that you are.

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And people know that, you know, and when you have a Rep Scalin like myself, you know,

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and we feel that, okay, you know what, I think we should tap on the brakes and then take a step back,

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you know, and there's this hold for a bit and just, Chris, just suck it up and don't be potty.

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So maybe this is another side of you that, you know, we don't see often enough.

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Not true. Not true. I mean, I've done shows on stage and believe you me,

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on stage we have, we cannot be potty mouth at all. So there is a certain, there is some,

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definitely a certain part where discipline plays quite a large role, isn't it? Yeah.

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I can be just that, the flavor of the Chris Hansen conversation. Welcome everybody.

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We've been rolling, I know.

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And you've been hearing us just go on and on and on. And I'm not being rude because you know why

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tonight I have with me, did I say tonight? I always say that, right? Now everyone knows I'm

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shooting at night. Not true. Sometimes I shoot in the day. Don't let me fool you.

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I have with me from the therapy room, you hear her or sometimes to those of you who

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got, you probably retirees, you got nothing better to do but to go on live Facebook and watch,

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you know, you know, and all your illegally watching something, watching live Facebook while you're

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driving. You catch her all the time on Tuesday mornings on, I shall not say which station,

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because you're not paying me. Well, why should I say the station right now? Okay. She's on radio

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and I will go as far as saying a station on SPH radio. And she gives great advice and she's such

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a lovely person. You've been hearing us ramble on and on about how wonderful she is and that is a

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fact. She's an absolutely lovely person. She is none other than Dr. Geraldine Tan. And you are

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amazing yourself. Wow. You see what I mean? How can I be potty mouth with you?

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This is not very encouraging. If you say I'm authentic or I'm, you know, genuine,

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then you cannot be genuine with me. No, no, it's not that. I'm being respectful.

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I'm being respectful. I just think that you're really so nice and sometimes, you know,

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I mean, maybe I'm old fashioned in a sense. Can you believe it? I'm freaking old fashioned.

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That's not a bad word. I am freaking old fashioned. You know what I feel like now? I feel like a princess now.

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I'm glad I made you happy though. And on that note, on that note, you know, you know,

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good friends of mine nowadays, they don't just have a radio show. They have podcasts too.

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Like they don't want to miss out on the action. You know, they're foremost fear of missing out.

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You know who you are. And then they had this thing, this thing that this show of theirs,

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then and now they put that other name next to it and it's called Uncensored. Okay. I'm wondering

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about that because my show, my show, which I have yet to release, already planned months ago

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with all the sleeves all done, designs all good, all done. And it says,

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bra, no, totally is, it's in Taiwan.

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For certain, I don't censor things. Okay. Bra, unadulterated, uncensored.

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Ah, yeah. And then they were talking about this. They were talking about the fact that Singapore

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was rated as correct me if I'm wrong. I hope I'm not wrong. I think I'm right. 25th happiest nation

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in the world in Asia with the happiest. Okay. Right. I think, yeah, yeah, with the happiest.

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So they were talking about that and it piqued my interest. And I don't want to do a copycat thing,

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but I want to ask you, you're Singaporean. Yeah. Are you happy?

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I am contented. I've thrown the word happy away a long, long time ago. Okay. So in the practice

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where a lot of people come and say, I'm not happy. I want to be happy. So what is happiness? For

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centuries, right? The philosophers, the scientists cannot figure out what happiness is. I'm just

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little end. I cannot figure out their happiness for anyone. So I don't look for happiness, but I

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look for contentment, fulfillment, purpose. So if you ask me if I am contented, so I don't know what

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happy is, I'm going to throw that out. Contented. I am very contented. Do I have a purpose? I have

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a purpose. Am I fulfilled? I think there's more to do. So, you know, I'm still going to strive for more.

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This is what happens when you talk to a head doctor, you know, because right now my mind's

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spinning. Okay. Okay. Let me just get this right. Interesting in the things you said,

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that definition of happiness, correct me if I'm wrong, if I'm reading all this wrong,

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the definition of happiness is not clearly defined. No. Do you know what happy is? If you know,

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let me know. Because I'm happy. I mean, look, when you say contentment, I am contented. I feel

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fulfilled. My cup is full. And when you think about all these, right, adjectives, descriptions,

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it all boils down to one word, happy. No. It's our definition is how, so happiness is a concept.

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It's not quantifiable for the person. Okay. So contentment is quantifiable. Contentment,

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so it depends on what you define it as, right? So I'm contented with the work that I do.

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I'm contented with the amount of work that I do. I'm contented with the team that I'm working with,

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you know, so there are things that I can specifically pull out and it's not so very,

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very, it's not so like out there. Right. So, okay. So this happened to survey, they did.

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Should be thrown out the window. I mean, we can, thanks very much for watching. This is the end

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of the show. What else is there to talk about? The survey was, hey, open the damn window, throw the

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damn thing out, man, because it doesn't make any damn sense. Well, everybody is in the pursuit of

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happiness. Let's put it this way. So it's just a Jerry's perspective, Jerry's, you know, thought

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about what happiness is. It's not a one size fits all, right? It's a personal understanding.

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But yes, everybody is in this pursuit of this happiness, you know, gross national happiness

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and everybody. Gross national happiness? DNH. Okay. Gross domestic happiness? GDH. Maybe. Okay. So,

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so happiness in your mind could be anything that you can quantify that is positive. That is, yeah.

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So this way is difficult, you know, it's like, so, so how do you define happiness? So on what,

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how do they do the survey? How do they even draw the parameters? What's the matrix? Okay. Let's say

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we, let's say, I like what you said about contentment though. Let's say we use that word.

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Now let's take a look at the Danes. People from Denmark. Yep. Happiest people in the world.

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We can throw that one out the window too. But, but Jerry, they are very content. Yes, they are.

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Are very content. Yes, they are. So is that survey, is that survey proper? So is happiness, you know,

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is it equated to contentment? Are we actually measuring the level of contentment in our lives?

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Okay. Now you see, you see people, people come to you to see, to seek, to seek help. Is that the

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right word for me to say seek help? Yes. Okay. They do. Yeah. Okay. Primarily Singaporeans. So I have

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a portfolio that is rather divided. So I have half Singaporeans and half foreigners. Okay. Let's talk

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about the Singaporeans. Would you define that these people are, see lah, now I cannot use that word

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anymore. Are they happy? Yes. If they are happy, most of them come to me because they're not happy.

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Let's put it right out there. You know, it's still seeking for answers, seeking for something to,

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that they need something to be fixed. And that's why they come for work. Do you see a pattern? Do

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you see a pattern? I mean, if you look across all of your local clients, they're unhappy.

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Generally they come to you because they're unhappy. Is there a pattern that is most,

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that you can see that is, that is perhaps endemic to being Singaporean in Singapore?

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Perhaps what we can look at is the current trend now. So the current trend now would be that many

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of them don't know the direction. So another word that I had used was purpose, right? They don't

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know the direction that they are going forward. You know, they, they know they have to work. They

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want a lot of money. Okay. So, so, so then we're getting somewhere. Okay. So basically they're

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unhappy because they want direction, because there is a specific goal in mind. Yes. And the goal in

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mind is- No, no, no. No goal. Yeah. Okay. They have a goal. They have a goal. They know what they want,

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but they don't know which direction to take. And that frustrates the heck out of them.

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They only know that they want a lot of money. They want like work-life balance. They're frustrated

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because they're not getting any of it or they're not getting their, whatever that they expect.

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And then you ask them, what do you really want to achieve in life? You know, what is that end goal

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that you, you have visualized for yourself? Right. And most of them say money. Most of them say,

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I don't know. Okay. So they don't know. They really don't know. Now there you go. So they do

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know what they want. But they are not happy with whatever that they're doing. So does it mean that

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you can, is it safe to say that one of the preoccupations of in general, speaking in general,

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of people living and working here, it's about the pursuit of money and having loads of it?

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Not really, because ultimately they say, actually I want a simple life. And you go like, huh?

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I want a lot of money, but I want a simple life. I just need to ensure stability. So they say in

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different ways, different forms in, you know, that they just want something comfortable.

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That's why I come back to this word, something comfortable. I say, yeah, I want a lot of money.

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I say, you want a lot of money for what? You want a lot of money. Oh, I want a lot of money

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so that my life is stable. I said, are you living very badly now? No. Are you, you know, not able

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to afford whatever that you want? No. And I can afford more. I don't need to worry about luxury

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because the clientele that comes to me in private centers, right? And then I go like, oh, okay. Then

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you, so what is the more that you're looking at? Then suddenly they get thrown off balance and say,

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I don't know. I said, what, but what actually do you have in mind? Like, you know, for your future?

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I don't know. Okay. Could we boil this down to also perhaps a contributing factor?

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Could be that we are all products of a system where, well, at least people like me, maybe you,

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the older lot, not so much the real young ones today, like our kids in school, you know,

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because things are changing in the education system. But we've always been products of,

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you know, you've got to go out there, it's all about the academics, it's all about getting the

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grades. And if you don't get the grades, you're not going to end up having a good job and you

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will not be able to have the five C's in life, you know. And then, you know, I think that's

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as the generations progressed, you've got another set of people who hear the same thing, know that,

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oh, you know, academics are important. I got to study real hard, get my degree. Otherwise,

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I would not be able to get my five C's. But then again, I don't really care about the five C's,

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but I know I have to get those five C's because that's what has been drummed into me. But deep

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down inside, that's not so important, but I know I have to get it. And then they get muddled.

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True. So there is that group that, you know, have lost their way.

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Would it be, am I right to say, or could it be, could it be that it's a generational thing?

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Because you have people like, for my generation, are you an X-Gener? I'm an X-Gener.

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I don't know what X, why exactly it is.

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I don't believe this. Oh boy. The X-Gener's are the coolest generation ever. Okay, no.

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The X-Gener's are the guys that wear t-shirts like this, man. Okay.

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And we're the ones, we're the ones with the 80s children, born in the 70s, rocked the 80s,

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and partied the 90s. But all while we're doing all that, working our butts off, you know,

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towards, I know what you're going to say, I know what you're going to say, towards success.

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Then again, Chris, what is the definition of success? Yeah, so this is going to be driving

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me up the wall now. Success as in, generally accepted, credit card, car, condo, cash, and

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go over to the other one. Yeah. Basically, reaching a certain level in life where you're

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considered financially successful, where you have arrived in life, where you are known someone,

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you've become part of the elite, you know. So the X-Generations, in my mind, are made up of people

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like that, you know. But one thing about that generation, besides being good looking and

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talented, we were done hard working. We had ambition. We were resilient. And we were in the

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fatigable lot, in the fatigable, determined, don't die one, in case you're blue, okay. So a whole,

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determined lot of people. Then after that, you've got the strawberries.

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I don't know why you're sounding laugh like that.

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Because a lot of people are going to throw eggs at me. Strawberries. The strawberry generation,

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the snowflakes, the millennials. Okay. And then I realized this. Why? Because

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I've had, of course, I had people who had to work with me, right? And they get younger and younger

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and younger and younger. And then you have this, I had this period in life where there are a bunch

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of people, these people, the younger ones, they came up to me. And so many of them said,

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like, Chris, you know, I'd rather work for an NGO. Okay. You tree hugger? Are you a tree hugger?

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You know? And they want to do, I want to do good. I want to do things for the community.

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And I said, you're admirable, then go ahead and do it. But then again, I want to make money.

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I mean, it's like, you know, opportunity costs. You can't have your cake and eat it all, you know.

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But they insistent about that. Right? And then you're right. I mean, I don't know whether you're

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right, but I can kind of relate to what you just said, because to me, there is a whole bunch of

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people who've been confused. Yeah. And in my mind, it is that generation of people. You know? Then

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you've got the current bunch of guys. I must say the Gen Zs are pretty impressive. You got them

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saying that they know what they want, but they're not as hot. That's not a bad thing. Not as hot as,

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say, their folks, who are people like me, my generation. Okay. Okay. Right? And they will say

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that I want something future-proof. I'm not going to go into something that's not future-proof. I

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mean, my boy is turning 14. Yeah. And of course I ask him, you know, I mean, have you toyed around

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with what you want to do when you grow up? Not really, but I do know what I shouldn't be doing.

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I would not mention anything. I'm not going to slide in these industries or anything like that.

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And I asked him, I'm kind of surprised. Some of the industries he mentioned,

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it's kind of, really? Why not? They're not future-proof, daddy. I said, why not? AI.

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Really? Yeah. And you guys actually discuss this amongst yourselves? Yes. And yeah, it's pretty

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amazing. I mean, it's kind of astute, you know? So there's something about these guys. So you know

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what I call that? The seed of the X generation. Okay. We may have taught them well. I think it's

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also because we work very hard and they have the ability to now look for or seek for what

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fulfills them. So that's the other thing, you know, self-fulfillment, right? A Manslow

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hierarchy of needs. And to chase that, we need to have a stable foundation. When you say stable

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foundation, what do you mean definition of foundation? So the foundation of all the basic needs.

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So we've given them all the basic needs. We've not only given them the basic needs,

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but we've also now focused on emotional needs, social needs. And they've got, you know, if we

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taught them already, you know, that these are important. So their foundation is quite solid.

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Most of us who push ourselves, you've described it beautifully. And so now they have attained all

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these. They're now right at the top. So they can see, oh, mommy, daddy, what do I really want? I'm

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thinking about it. And because we're not fighting for survival anymore, we as parents are able to

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say, okay, what would you like to do? Go do it. You know, mom and dad will support you, you know,

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and how you've spoken to your son. I resonate with that because this is what I've got two teens,

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and both of them are also thinking and contemplating, you know, what they want to do.

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And they're comfortable enough to say, mom and dad will support anything. And I don't need to worry

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about this foundation is, I've got it. Now I will go and do what makes me feel most comfortable.

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Not having to chase after, you know, all the little things.

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Right. Okay. I mean, I can't agree with you there, but-

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Did I throw you off balance again?

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A little bit. I mean, well, basically, whatever you said, I do agree simply because, you know,

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the Gen Z is they're pretty awesome. And I think they really know what's needed to get by and get on.

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But I guess that the strawberry generation that you were talking about, the confused bunch,

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is the bunch that I do see that lack that purpose, that lack. So they are very confused because

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I need to seem to find that foundation. I'm not sure. I need to build up that nest,

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that financial nest. And then they go. So when we ask them, do you have that actually quite okay?

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So why are you chasing don't know? So that's why the don't know comes in, you see.

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But you see, there's also the other side of the coin. These people are now in their thirties.

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I think some of them, I mean, it's fair to say also in early forties. Those are the people that's

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the tail end of the X generation. Yeah. And these lots are in higher executive positions.

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They're in the positions of leadership. And that leadership has taken a sort of a different turn

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from what I've heard from quite a number of people, people who are about my generation of people,

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that is, and answering to those younger than them. Okay. Okay. It's reached a stage where it doesn't

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matter, you know, in, well, I'm not, I'm generalizing this, but I shouldn't. But I think

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that there is some amount of truth that the cohesiveness in an organization

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that's been in the field seem to be more important than revenue generation.

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Then someone who can't play with others well, not because he is nasty, but because he is more

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dynamic. Let's take that as an example. Okay. Okay. Older, more dynamic, more experienced,

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probably left the workforce for a bit, came back. Let's take that as a scenario.

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And then the rest of the people there have known each other for, since they can't gone on board,

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they're all the same generation, including their leader in management. Okay. This guy comes in and

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then, or this person comes in, but it's productive. Yeah. Brings in the moolah for the business. Yeah.

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And then the rest aren't happy about it. And then of course, usual interrelational politics come to

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play. Then after which they start to whinge in wine and start to stir the pot a little bit with the

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boss, to the boss. And then this person gets into a little bit of trouble. So it just seemed that

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sometimes, and this is not the first I've heard, this cohesion, this need for cohesiveness,

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clicky. Okay. Yeah. It seems to be more of a priority than revenue generating, revenue generation,

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or someone who's capable of really bringing home what's more important in a business.

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So, you know, that's just an example. What I'm saying here is that everyone's now got to tow

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their line. Okay. You know what I mean? Okay. In terms of, okay, I think you touched on something

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very different. I think you touched on, you know, this, when we are in that community,

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how we operate as a community. Right. And when something comes in, in that we think is a little

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bit alien, right? Then our behavior is, the first behavior is reject. Okay. So the person that is

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being rejected, so this community, I don't like you, already, you know, not feeling very happy.

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The other person wants to assimilate, cannot assimilate, and then they are also unhappy.

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No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This person can't assimilate. This person is very,

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very pliable. Okay. EQ wise. But they don't want to accept you, see? They don't want to accept,

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but he is, this person maybe has done nothing wrong. Understand. Yeah. Understand. Just that

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he's different. Most of the time it's like this. And this person puts in more effort, for example.

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You know, puts in more effort, is more experienced, has got the ability to get things really done

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better than most. Yeah. Yeah. But because of this group, they do not want to accept, right? So they

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reject. Okay. So you're saying to me that this cannot be a generational thing. It's not. It's just

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a, okay, but, but what, but more often than not today, that group of people, which you're now

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boiling it down to a, to group psychology, right? Yeah. Okay. Group dynamics. Group dynamics. The

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psychology behind that. Yeah. However, if you, if you're boiling it down to that, it just so happens

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then that all of them are from the same generation and therefore it may seem that these guys,

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it may seem that it's a generational issue or difference. It can be. So it can be that they

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are the same generation. So how you described it is same generation. So what happens in a group is

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we look for similarity. We look for things that can help us to gel together. Yeah. So, so that when

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we stay together, we've got a lot of things that we can share and we can support each other. So

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we don't want the, any other aliens to invade. But Jerry, but that's an ideal world, you know?

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Yeah. If you all see how that we can come, come together and come, you know, meet halfway.

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Let's find out whether there's any similarities, you know, so that we can find some relatability,

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some spread of relatability. That's an ideal world. It's group dynamics. So when the other

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person comes in, unless we put in, the group puts in effort to try and find a similarity with the

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other person. This person will always stay on the peripheral. So we see that in the, the, the, the

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self-initiated expatriates also, where they come and then they come into an office and you have

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mostly, you know, maybe Singaporeans, mostly Asians, and then you have somebody else coming in.

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It's like, oh, invasion. So until this group makes the effort to find some similarities,

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to be curious, to, to learn about that person, this person will not, no matter how nice the person

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is, will still be an outsider and will feel like an outsider. They can be very cordial to each

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other, but you still can see that there is some difference there.

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Okay. Okay. Now that we're on that topic, now that we're on that topic, you're basically saying

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that, okay, in this example you gave, so this is how xenophobia comes about.

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In a way, and that suddenly just pops into mind. I think I was reading one of your posts and one of

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your posts was about, you know, people trying to erase your technical, right? And still having that,

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that mindset that, you know, why I usually wear long sleeves, but for you today, I didn't wear

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long sleeves, you know. I was like, okay, I'll match you.

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All right. Thank you for that.

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Yeah. I don't have tattoos, but...

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You should man, come on, let's go get one.

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No, well, I'll explain a little bit more, but you know that, that whole fear, so sometimes people

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fear different, you know, and, and your tattoos are like, oh my God, it's different. And therefore,

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you know, they, they, they start to like put you on a sideline, like, okay, you're different,

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you're, you're, you know, we cannot come too close to you. I can talk to you cordially, but you're not

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coming into my space. Thank you very much. So, yeah. So, so fear, right? And fear breeds distrust.

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So in a relationship, you need trust, but if you are fearful of the person, how can you trust

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the person? Right? It doesn't matter what you say, Jerry, at the end of the day, they're still

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stereotyping. Come on, come on. I mean, look, they don't have, the point is don't judge. You're so

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too easily, right? It just can't be about, oh, you know, so that's the case, Chris. Don't let people

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fear you. Let me tell you why I'm so fed up. Okay. Go for it. Yeah. I'm going to go for it. I think,

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I think this is free therapy. Not bad. Um, um, let me tell you why I'm so, so I'm going to say,

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I'm pissed about all this. Um, everything that I am is stereotyped. Everything. Everything. Okay.

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I'm telling you. Okay. Go for it. I'm 53 years old. Nothing to hide. It's not, I'm not a spring

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chicken. Yeah. So it's not as if, but Chris, you've only lived like 20 plus years. If you like,

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we can't really come to judgements like that. You know, I can, because I'm not a spring chicken.

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Yeah. Uh, so it's safe for me to say this on, on a few counts, one, I'm Eurasian. Okay. And,

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and I'm proud to be one. You all don't judge me now. Okay. I'm proud to be one. And I still am.

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Yeah. And, and as I mentioned earlier, right, remember before we, I don't know whether we were

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rolling there or not, but, um, I mentioned to you about, um, about my other guests I had,

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Yes. And, uh, we were talking about, about, uh, our, our shared ethnicity. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh,

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the stereotypes from there alone is pretty remarkable. You can work your ass off,

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but people could still think that you are, ah, yeah, you know, you're Asians, you know,

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they really can't amount to much when they do business and stuff. Or, or, or, or, these guys

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are better at what? No, Ben Boy, I can sing, I can, you know, they are good for these kind of

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things. They know the party, like, yeah, he's not a party. That's one stereotype. The other one is

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look at my size. I tell you a joke. Yeah. A couple of years ago, I was, I was done a gym and I came

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down and I was in downstairs to where the ATM was located and I was in a queue. Okay. And there was

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this poor lady, I tell you, but I was an angry, don't get me wrong. I was not upset. I was laughing

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my head off. I was standing behind her in the queue and this little old lady was in front and

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she was using the machine. So I was just standing in lines, waiting for it to be done. There's no

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one else besides, besides me. Yep. And when she got the money out, she turned around,

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she was putting her money back into her purse and she looked up, she saw me, she went, ah,

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and I went, ah, what did I do? What did I do? What did I do? And I went, Auntie, what, Auntie, why?

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What did I do? I really thought, what did I do? No la, you very big ah. I said, I'm not going to

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rob you. Don't worry. You very big ah. You very big. Oh my goodness. Oh dear. I said, I'm so sorry,

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I didn't mean to scare you. I told you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm

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so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I told her, I'm so sorry about laughing. She was laughing too

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after that. But that was a nice thing actually. It wasn't so bad, you know, but people always have

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this thing when they see a big guy. It's either you're fat and stupid or, fair stupid lazy, or

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you are, you are bully. And, and when the little pipsqueaks, you know, always annoy you, right,

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that's bullying as far as I'm concerned. And they continually egg you on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then

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you retaliate, you're the one in trouble. Because you're, you know why? Because you're the bigger

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one. Oh. Okay. And then, and then, and then, oh, let's go there. Smoking. I'm a smoker. Okay. I'm not

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encouraging it. Don't get me in trouble. I'm just saying this who I am. I'm a smoker. Okay. And my

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goodness, I know lah, yellow box lah, this that lah. But you know, I can't stand, people seem to think

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it is within their values to walk in front of you, stop glare. Even when they have the mask on, they

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say, my God, you really don't want to breathe lah. You know, and, and, and they do that in full view

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you. Or the glare they give you, I mean, looks could kill, you know. I mean, dude, I'm not doing

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it illegally. Yeah. I'm way far, I'm far from you. Yeah. And you go and you walk past and you do this

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and I said, do you have leprosy? Is your nose going to drop off? You know, I mean, I mean,

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it makes people entitled to insult you, disrespect you, you know, and that's the third stereotype.

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The next stereotype. Oh, there's quite a lot. Yeah. To be fair, there'll be those who admire me,

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people like me, I sing and I must say I sing pretty well. And, and put that again, I get this,

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yeah, these people sing only one. Oh wow. And then when you, when you go out there, you're actually

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doing shows on stage or you're hosting or answering and, and I tell you this happens, it's prevalent,

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yeah, in the entertainment world. Pay you peanuts because that's all you do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

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of course I don't stand for that. And I think you can't pay me, you can't afford me, I won't do it.

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Because I know I'm good at what I do. That's all. Then you, and then you hear entertainers

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getting stereotypes, saying this back to you, we'll talk, if I don't take it, Chris, they will never

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call me back. And then I get no jobs at all. I'm feeling really sad. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And then

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and then after that, oh, worse, it gets worse. We need Pan-Asians. Okay. You got talent, but you're not Pan-Asian.

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Hang on, got some more. Ink.

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Ink. It is disgusting for anyone to do this to anyone without your permission to take your picture

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and erase off the ink of your picture. It is disgusting to take someone's picture and blow

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up my face to kingdom come so that my arm cannot be seen in a periodical article.

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But these people came to me to ask me to platform speak, to feature me because I've got value.

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Because there are things that I can give value to people and to their respective audiences.

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But you do this to me. So, and this is not just about me. People with ink get ostracized ever so often.

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I'm going to say this. I love these guys. Warpix, the Harley boys, I tell you they're brilliant people.

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They do charity work. Most of them are ink and they're on big Harley's, but they are some of the

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kindest people on the planet. Yeah. There are many of them. Yeah. So that's why you see, I have to stop you there, Jerry.

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Just now because no matter what you tell me, man, people can be intimidated and all that.

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You know what? Very simple. Don't judge. But people will judge and I'll tell you. I know that.

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And I'll tell my story. You told your story about the ink, right? Yep. So I knew you had this pose.

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So that's why today I didn't wear my sleeves. And I was like, you know, I do want to share this because

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growing up, so my skin color is a bit olive and it's a little bit tan. And growing up,

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the girls that were most popular were the fair, porcelain skin. Pana dolls.

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Look at my panna doll. You know, porcelain skin. So that's why I wanted, I hate the sun.

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I don't go out into the sun. This way I don't put ink because I want that porcelain look.

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Okay. You know? Yeah. So you have your prejudice. I also felt very ostracized in a way because,

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yeah, so you have the big size. Now let me show. So I talked about the porcelain skin.

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Besides, I'm shocked. And that becomes a problem everywhere. You know, I wanted to be like a SQ

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girl at, you know, Singapore girl. I cannot. There was no way I would pass any test because

364
00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:47,680
of my height. So people look at this, you know, short girl. And when I started my career,

365
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:56,640
you know, who knew about psychologists? You know, even my parents didn't know what psychology was

366
00:42:56,640 --> 00:43:03,520
like 20 over years ago. And I insisted, I wanted to do psychology, you know, and I wanted to do it

367
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:09,360
since I was in secondary school. So I already knew what I wanted to do, but nobody else knew what it

368
00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:17,520
was at that time. So people only started to know about Freud and all the psychoanalytics,

369
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:23,920
psychoanalysts, and they were all old men with beard. So when I first went out,

370
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:30,160
when people came in looking for a psychologist, they stared at me and went,

371
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:37,760
you can be a psychologist, you can be a psychologist. I said, how does a psychologist look like?

372
00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:47,600
Do I have to have white hair and be a man so that I can be a psychologist? So there's just

373
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:55,920
prejudice, like you say, right? And it was frustrating because then I learned, you know,

374
00:43:55,920 --> 00:44:02,960
early on, please don't wear short skirts and, you know, clothes that you bend can see everything.

375
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:09,440
Cover up. Yeah. Yeah. So we wear muted colors, we, you know, dress decently.

376
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:16,560
Otherwise, the guys, and we do couple counseling, you go like the guys are staring at your legs

377
00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:28,640
instead of, excuse me, you know, what's wrong with you? Concentrate on our conversation. If not,

378
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:38,720
I'm going to refer you to another person. You know, it is, you know, frustrating when people judge,

379
00:44:38,720 --> 00:44:45,920
but I'm going to say this and I often say this, sadness is a choice. So you and I can continue to

380
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:54,000
be frustrated and upset about people judging, but we know people are going to judge. So sadness becomes

381
00:44:54,000 --> 00:45:05,200
a choice. Happiness actually requires a lot of effort and people don't realize that. So with all

382
00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:10,880
that contentment, fulfillment, you know, purpose, let's come back to happiness because people are

383
00:45:10,880 --> 00:45:17,600
more comfortable with the word happiness. So I'm going to put it out there that happiness is effort

384
00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:29,360
and sadness is a choice. Wow. Wow. Wow. Sadness is a choice. Happiness is effort.

385
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:37,920
How does that sit with you? I just, I mean, it makes a lot of sense. It makes a lot of sense. It

386
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:43,520
does. It does. It does. Sadness is a choice. You choose whether you want to be sad, but it's,

387
00:45:43,520 --> 00:45:46,000
but you cannot choose to be happy because there's no such thing.

388
00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:52,800
So, you know, this is where I'm going to Chris, you're screwed.

389
00:45:54,240 --> 00:45:59,280
Because Dr. Jerry says there's no such thing called happiness, but sadness is a choice though.

390
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:03,520
So what's the definition of sadness? Sadness is things that break you down.

391
00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:10,960
Well, that was fast. You came out like that. Happiness is so hard, so hard to define happiness,

392
00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:18,320
but sadness is over. Wow. No hesitation, man. Wow. Because I see it all the time, Chris. I see it in

393
00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:23,680
my center. You don't see happiness in your center? Okay. Okay. I know, I know, I know what you're

394
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:28,320
going to say. Chris, if they're happy, what the hell do they come to see me? I see hope. Okay. Wait,

395
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:40,080
do happy people come to see you? They, they, wow. Wow. Now I've, now I've undone you. Not really,

396
00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:49,120
but it is interesting. I wish that more, more contented people come and do check-ins with me.

397
00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:54,080
More contented people. Here we go. She's not using the word happy. She is not using the word

398
00:46:54,080 --> 00:47:01,040
happy. More contented people come and see. And why would, you said you wish that, right? Why would

399
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:08,480
contented people come see you? So I'm going to put it this way. If you're contented with your

400
00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:15,440
bodies, would you stop going to the gym? No. Yeah. Because, because it's a choice. You'll be sad.

401
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:22,320
Yeah. See, look at me, look at my body now. I'm sad. A couple of months ago, no, a year ago,

402
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:28,880
I was happy, but now I'm sad. I'm sad because I made a choice. I stopped going to gym for a year.

403
00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:34,800
I'm back in the gym though. Okay. Am I happy now? No. Why? Look at my body. I'm so sad.

404
00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:43,440
Happiness needs a lot of effort. But I've not become contented yet. Okay. Okay. That really

405
00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:49,200
makes sense now. But again, content, contented people, people are content with their lives.

406
00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:52,880
And you're saying to me, it's like going to the gym. You've got, you've got,

407
00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:58,000
you've got looking great and all that. It doesn't mean you stop going. Yep. Because you got to keep

408
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:06,560
going in order for you to continue being contented. So along the same vein, you're saying that people,

409
00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:12,400
if they're already contented, should come to see someone like you to continue being contented.

410
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:21,760
So if we liken, you know, mental health to physical health, physical health, we work so hard for.

411
00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:28,880
Yeah. Right. We work out, we eat well. Same thing with mental health. We need to continue to work

412
00:48:28,880 --> 00:48:39,600
on it. It is work in progress, work in process. And you know, so when I talk about the contented

413
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:45,440
people coming to do the check-ins, I just, interesting because I just had someone, a young

414
00:48:46,320 --> 00:48:53,360
lad who comes in every six months to check in with me. And even today when I asked him, right,

415
00:48:53,360 --> 00:49:00,480
Hey, you know, would you like to terminate sessions or would you like to continue, you know,

416
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:05,200
because you're doing really, really well. He thought about it and he went, no, I think,

417
00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:10,880
you know, let's continue every six months. I think, and he parked it and he positioned

418
00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:15,840
when he wanted it. And I was like, okay, yeah. So it's like going back to MRI every year to make

419
00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:21,360
sure your nose is still okay. It's going for your dental check-up every six months, you know,

420
00:49:21,360 --> 00:49:28,080
and making sure that there's no cavity. But Jerry, this is different. I mean, this is where I'm going

421
00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:36,240
to ask, this is where I'm going to prove I'm old fashioned again. Mental health. I know that there's

422
00:49:36,240 --> 00:49:43,280
been a lot going on. Good thing, good things, good things. And I'm glad for it. You know,

423
00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:53,920
that's more, there's more attention towards the need for mental health. And trying to eradicate

424
00:49:53,920 --> 00:50:04,240
this supposed taboo people have, stereotyping it, you know. And you see, this is where I struggle

425
00:50:04,240 --> 00:50:14,080
with that. Okay. I will speak as, I would just say, put it plainly. I will put it, oh boy,

426
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:20,000
I put it plainly. I'm being psychoanalyzed. I really am. I'll put it plainly. What would

427
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:26,080
a perception be of people thinking that, you know, I don't know whether or not I need any help,

428
00:50:26,080 --> 00:50:30,960
you know, for my, for me mentally. Yeah. I don't know whether I need any help. I don't know whether

429
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:38,000
I need any help for me emotionally as well, for example. Okay. And what comes to mind? Well, yeah,

430
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:43,120
stigma is one. It will never go away. It will always be there because, you know, if it's been

431
00:50:43,120 --> 00:50:48,480
a hundred years of stigma, it's going to take 200 years for that stigma to go away. Yeah. I think

432
00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:54,480
it was quite fair for me to say that. On top of that, it would also be, how am I going to afford

433
00:50:54,480 --> 00:51:02,240
this? Because people don't know what the fee would be like. They don't, people don't. People can more

434
00:51:02,240 --> 00:51:07,360
or less gauge a neighborhood GP. Yep. Because they're used to that. Yep. Right. Yep. They can

435
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:13,200
gauge what a specialist in certain fields would charge, but they cannot, because they don't do

436
00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:18,560
this often and people don't talk about it. They don't know how much they have to set aside for

437
00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:23,200
sessions with someone like you, for example. I mean, hell, I really don't know. I don't. Yeah.

438
00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:30,800
And then there's also the thing about, you know, it's like walking past some place and then you,

439
00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:34,480
I want to go in there, but I don't know what I should. And I walk past again. I want to go in

440
00:51:34,480 --> 00:51:38,960
there, but I don't know what I should. And I walk past again because you don't want people to see

441
00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:45,120
you walking into a place that has, you know, that will treat that, oh, that means this guy,

442
00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:50,240
he needs a head shrink, he has an issue. You know? And then, and then you're worried about what people

443
00:51:50,240 --> 00:51:55,360
might think of you, right? I mean, stick back. Sure. You know? But even to that extent, right?

444
00:51:57,200 --> 00:52:00,400
Me, for example, if I were to come to your clinic,

445
00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:07,520
I would feel okay because I would come in to say, hi, how are you? You know? But

446
00:52:09,840 --> 00:52:19,440
I can't imagine me going in to say, hey, I need help. I can't, I can't imagine doing that.

447
00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:23,760
You know what I mean? There's going to be this breaks that you just step on. I think I'm not,

448
00:52:23,760 --> 00:52:28,960
I mean, I think people are like that. I'm like that. And I don't know whether I need help or not

449
00:52:28,960 --> 00:52:34,080
anyway. I'm not saying I'm, I'm, I'm, you see? You see? I'm not saying I have issues.

450
00:52:36,080 --> 00:52:41,680
So it is really, I think everyone's like this. So that's one thing that I want to advocate,

451
00:52:41,680 --> 00:52:47,840
right? That people don't need to have issues to come forward to chat with us. And that's where

452
00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:53,120
I want to bring the nation or I want to bring the world. It's a very big, you know, sort of a

453
00:52:53,120 --> 00:53:05,600
a dream that I have. But it's again, I love to dream big. Yeah. But, you know, and I want to bring

454
00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:11,680
the mental health, the idea of mental health to more people. That's why since the beginning

455
00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:18,160
of my career, I'm actually very afraid. So nowadays the lights are not so bright, but in the past,

456
00:53:18,160 --> 00:53:25,520
the lights are super bright. And I, many people don't realize that, but I actually have a fear

457
00:53:25,520 --> 00:53:34,320
of speaking. What? Yeah. Oh, come on. I have a fear of speaking on stage, speaking with people.

458
00:53:34,880 --> 00:53:41,280
In therapy session is fine. I'm in my space, I'm in my say zone. When I'm on stage, when you're

459
00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:47,600
doing presentation, when I'm even like things like this, you know, my hands are sweaty. I'm not

460
00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:55,520
afraid to say, you know, there is a lot of fear, but it's because of the love for the passion,

461
00:53:55,520 --> 00:54:01,840
the feel and the work, right? That I say more people needs to come forward. Therefore, you know,

462
00:54:01,840 --> 00:54:10,320
I step forward and do so many different sort of things and so much of that media work. Yeah. So,

463
00:54:10,320 --> 00:54:17,200
you know, bringing it to everyone to let them know that the psychology is not scary. We are

464
00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:27,040
actually very nice people. The, the, the, the psych field of psychology is not as alien as we

465
00:54:27,040 --> 00:54:33,200
think it is. Okay. And people don't need to fear it so they can come forward. Right. Now

466
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:43,200
having them come forward to, to, for not just issues. Yeah. So there are other colleagues

467
00:54:43,200 --> 00:54:50,560
out there that call it differently coaching, you know, wellness and yeah, so they try to call it

468
00:54:50,560 --> 00:54:55,920
differently, but coaches and, and, and, uh, as a wellness coach and career coach, their training

469
00:54:55,920 --> 00:55:02,080
is slightly different also. Sure. Sure. But, um, sometimes in order to bridge that, you know,

470
00:55:02,080 --> 00:55:08,400
the fear, they call it differently. And I've seen some colleagues do that. Yeah. But let's call it

471
00:55:08,400 --> 00:55:13,840
speed and speed. Psychology is psychology. And really it's not scary at all. Yeah. You're right.

472
00:55:13,840 --> 00:55:17,760
We're calling it wellness these days, including the aesthetic specialist and all that wellness

473
00:55:17,760 --> 00:55:27,040
clinic. I tell you what, I tell you what we do. We do a, we do a one-for-one barter. Okay. I don't

474
00:55:27,040 --> 00:55:31,760
believe I'm going to say this on camera, but okay. Let's give it a shot, man. I don't mind. Let's go

475
00:55:31,760 --> 00:55:39,120
and figure this out. I can't see you. Oh, sorry. Ethics. I cannot see you. Yeah. Why? Because we

476
00:55:39,120 --> 00:55:45,200
don't see our friends. We don't see our relatives. Okay. That's it. Open the window again, man. Throw

477
00:55:45,200 --> 00:55:55,200
that one out too. See la. So, so, so usually what we do is when, when relatives of friends come,

478
00:55:55,200 --> 00:56:02,000
they see my team. Right. I don't see me. Okay. But what happens if the person's not comfortable with anyone

479
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:09,920
else? It's not about just comfort with one person. Right. They do need to be comfortable with the

480
00:56:09,920 --> 00:56:17,200
therapist. Right. But the therapist is also human. So there's a lot of emotional investment and a lot of-

481
00:56:17,200 --> 00:56:22,320
Yes. It's just like a doctor can't treat his own family members, right? Yeah. I understand that. But

482
00:56:22,320 --> 00:56:26,240
it's just, but as far as this is concerned, I mean, I wouldn't want to speak to someone I don't know

483
00:56:26,240 --> 00:56:30,240
you, you know, though some people would prefer that. Some people are crazy, you know, some people in

484
00:56:30,240 --> 00:56:36,480
the sales field, for example, I don't want to sell people I know. So why? I don't want, I'd rather

485
00:56:36,480 --> 00:56:44,080
say sell people I don't know. I'm sorry, but I just cannot understand that concept. I'm unable to

486
00:56:44,080 --> 00:56:50,480
understand the concept, you know, that there's no strings attached, but you have, okay. Even if you

487
00:56:50,480 --> 00:56:56,960
sell someone something and that person is cold, yeah, wouldn't you want to have the, you know,

488
00:56:56,960 --> 00:57:02,960
the opportunity to build, the opportunity to build a friendship or a nice relationship with that person?

489
00:57:03,520 --> 00:57:10,640
But many of these people go, no, I don't want, it's just selling, that's it. You know, and I can never

490
00:57:10,640 --> 00:57:17,440
understand that. So I'm that kind of guy, you know, I'd rather see someone I know than see someone I

491
00:57:17,440 --> 00:57:22,480
don't. Okay, so this is another issue, this is another block, but anyway, that's not the point. I

492
00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:29,200
do a one-for-one barter with you, okay. So that moving forward, you no longer have fear on stage.

493
00:57:31,440 --> 00:57:39,280
Fear behind the camera, because I'm also a coach, you see. Yes, we know that. So we can do a one-for-one barter.

494
00:57:39,280 --> 00:57:47,040
One-for-one barter. How you know? You haven't come to my classes. Oh, your reputation. Oh really?

495
00:57:49,600 --> 00:57:54,720
Well, anyway, anyway, I'm always open, doors are always open. Don't worry, don't walk past,

496
00:57:54,720 --> 00:57:59,600
go behind and walk past, and don't come in, you know, must come in. Don't do it me.

497
00:58:01,200 --> 00:58:06,160
But anyway, that's great. I mean, I, I, I maybe, maybe I should just give it a shot and see one of

498
00:58:06,160 --> 00:58:10,880
you, what's one of your, one of your guys in your team, you know, and have a chat. Why not? I think

499
00:58:10,880 --> 00:58:15,280
I need help. Don't you think so? I look like a bit loco, right? Yeah, I mean, okay. That's not fair.

500
00:58:15,280 --> 00:58:20,720
That's not fair. That's not fair. That's not fair. Don't take me seriously. Okay, so right now,

501
00:58:21,280 --> 00:58:29,440
coming back to the happiness. Happiness is effort. Oh gosh. Do you think, in general, I mean,

502
00:58:29,440 --> 00:58:36,320
just take happiness as what it is generally. Okay. Do you think Singaporeans are happy?

503
00:58:38,480 --> 00:58:47,840
They're not contented. They're not contented with many things. They can be richer, the people can

504
00:58:47,840 --> 00:58:57,040
be nicer, the ERP can be cheaper or not happy. See, you can be past a hundred grand and much more now.

505
00:58:57,040 --> 00:59:04,400
Yeah, basically if you hear what they're saying or you listen to conversations, right, they're

506
00:59:04,400 --> 00:59:12,400
complaining all the time. So they're very, you know, they're very discontented bunch. Okay. How

507
00:59:12,400 --> 00:59:17,120
about, how about if I change it this way? So it's interesting, you know, this word is just going to

508
00:59:17,120 --> 00:59:24,960
drive me nuts the whole night. Contentment, discontentment is also the discontentment people

509
00:59:24,960 --> 00:59:36,800
have that we may see it as entitlement, the entitled society. And you know, I did have a chat

510
00:59:36,800 --> 00:59:43,920
with you briefly and then I saw your last answer to me and I kept quiet about it. I was complaining

511
00:59:43,920 --> 00:59:50,800
to you about the incidences that, Kai, you better get ready to roll that up on screen. The incidences

512
00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:57,360
that occurred and the Geylang Sarai Bazaar, right, now that's going to come on screen so you guys can

513
00:59:57,360 --> 01:00:05,840
take a look see. That incident, the man gets flack for saying Geylang Bazaar tables should be

514
01:00:06,640 --> 01:00:13,920
reserved for Muslims who are doing the ifta, breaking their fast. And he got flack, right.

515
01:00:13,920 --> 01:00:20,160
And there were a bunch of people who commented in that particular article on that post for the

516
01:00:20,160 --> 01:00:24,880
article for mothership and who really told him that, you know, if you want to become earlier,

517
01:00:25,840 --> 01:00:34,160
this is open to everybody, okay. I swear. And to me, it's like, hey guys, first of all, it's Ramadan.

518
01:00:34,160 --> 01:00:49,360
Okay, can we empathize that they are fasting for a month from seven to seven, right. No water and

519
01:00:49,360 --> 01:01:00,560
they're working and you know, the Geylang Sarai Bazaar was created, organized for them. We have

520
01:01:00,560 --> 01:01:07,440
to count ourselves fortunate that we are able to celebrate that with them. So just give way.

521
01:01:08,720 --> 01:01:14,560
Don't just, don't be so discontented and then turn it around a virtue signal

522
01:01:15,680 --> 01:01:21,600
and say that, oh you come earlier. Why must you make it mandatory just for you Muslims?

523
01:01:22,720 --> 01:01:27,440
And I had put my comment in, I actually was being fair. I said exactly what I just said just now.

524
01:01:27,440 --> 01:01:32,000
It's this is built for them. Just give way. And this person came in and said,

525
01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:38,160
Christians are open up to everybody. We're not going to say, oh, it's mandatory. This is only

526
01:01:38,160 --> 01:01:43,120
made for Christians. I said, dude, this is not an apple for apple comparison anymore.

527
01:01:43,120 --> 01:01:50,640
And he kept going on. And it was, you know, honestly, I'm not Muslim. I'm Catholic. You're

528
01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:59,040
Catholic. And you know, to me, I felt for them and this guy, this poor guy who wrote in wrote

529
01:01:59,040 --> 01:02:04,320
and he actually ended the article by saying that, sorry, my English not so good. I'm only got

530
01:02:04,320 --> 01:02:10,800
secondary education and people mocked him for that. Oh no. People mocked him for that, mocked him.

531
01:02:11,840 --> 01:02:16,800
And you know, when I read this, how can we be happy? Because you know why? Because I'm unhappy.

532
01:02:16,800 --> 01:02:24,160
I see this happening in community. I can't stand it. Right. And then there's some more incidences.

533
01:02:25,200 --> 01:02:33,200
That poor girl, Muslim girl, 20 years old, on board an MRT train. Come on, it's time to

534
01:02:33,200 --> 01:02:39,600
for to break fast. It is obligatory for them to at least bite something, you know, have a drink of

535
01:02:39,600 --> 01:02:45,120
water, have something to just chew and swallow before they can have a proper meal. Right. And

536
01:02:45,120 --> 01:02:54,480
and she tried to observe and persevere her own faith. So she took a bite off of, I think a bar.

537
01:02:55,600 --> 01:03:01,920
And then she put it back in a bag and then she got admonished by this other lady.

538
01:03:03,280 --> 01:03:08,880
And of course she used the letter of the law against her. You're not supposed to eat and

539
01:03:08,880 --> 01:03:13,360
drink on the train. You are being very, what's the word for it? Please be considerate.

540
01:03:13,360 --> 01:03:20,320
You know, I mean, I mean, and then when she got off the train station, she went to the station master

541
01:03:21,200 --> 01:03:26,960
and that guy, he gave me more faith in humanity after that because she asked him, I mean, I can't

542
01:03:26,960 --> 01:03:34,720
do that. And he said, it's okay. And he smiled. She wrote that down. He smiled. Just don't,

543
01:03:34,720 --> 01:03:42,000
don't leave the rapper anywhere, you know. It's about empathy. At least when he said that, I felt,

544
01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:50,080
I felt, oh my God, you know, but like, but it was disappointing. The sheer ignorance,

545
01:03:50,080 --> 01:03:54,640
this is not entitlement anymore. This is virtue signaling. Right. And then the other guy,

546
01:03:55,760 --> 01:04:00,720
the other dude with a stroller, with a baby inside, can't get into the lift because all

547
01:04:00,720 --> 01:04:06,960
the able-bodied people are going in. It's the same thing as, as it happens, as things happen

548
01:04:06,960 --> 01:04:11,920
with me, with my mom's in the wheelchair. So when we go for mass, right in church, same thing,

549
01:04:13,040 --> 01:04:17,200
people, able-bodied rush for the lift and the people, the wheelchairs have to wait.

550
01:04:18,720 --> 01:04:23,760
And they, and they, and they stand there and they look at you and sometimes look past you as if

551
01:04:23,760 --> 01:04:31,680
you're invisible. And then the lift doors close. You know, and I go, why? I'm not entitled. But

552
01:04:31,680 --> 01:04:35,520
you know what these people would say? Just because of this, you think you're entitled. That's warped.

553
01:04:35,520 --> 01:04:41,200
But how can we say then that we are content?

554
01:04:44,640 --> 01:04:54,800
They're very, I will use the word empty. So many people so empty. You should read,

555
01:04:54,800 --> 01:05:01,600
Jerry, read the comments, read them, comments that are different people who just like to

556
01:05:01,600 --> 01:05:07,520
read such comments. But you have a pulse of how things are like. That's true. Yeah, that is true.

557
01:05:07,520 --> 01:05:14,720
But it pains us when we read such comments because there's this lack of tolerance.

558
01:05:15,760 --> 01:05:25,440
Yes, that is the word. Everybody don't understand the word tolerance. Two words, tolerance and

559
01:05:25,440 --> 01:05:33,920
compassion. You know, if you're tolerant, you will hold back a little bit and look at the situation

560
01:05:33,920 --> 01:05:40,880
before jumping in and commenting. Yeah. But when people don't do that, they shut their mouths off.

561
01:05:41,440 --> 01:05:46,560
And normally when they shut their mouths off, they are not compassionate because they have no

562
01:05:46,560 --> 01:05:52,880
empathy. They cannot, we call it theory of mind to look from the other person's point of view.

563
01:05:52,880 --> 01:05:59,680
Simple. Jerry is called heartless. I wanted to use like such a... Don't need. Go around.

564
01:06:00,400 --> 01:06:05,360
Don't come and go. Don't tell me, hey, heartless. What's the meaning of heartless? Like happiness.

565
01:06:05,360 --> 01:06:11,120
Don't. Please. Heartless is heartless. Don't have. Don't have. Empty. You're right. Empty. Empty.

566
01:06:12,480 --> 01:06:19,120
Devoid the feeling. Devoid of the ability to be sensitive. You know, I'm telling you, this episode,

567
01:06:19,120 --> 01:06:25,040
I'm going to get flamed. I'm going to get flamed. Yeah, I'll be flamed. There will be people saying,

568
01:06:25,040 --> 01:06:29,600
Chris, they're talking out of your... You know, I'm... See, usually I don't care. I won't hold my words

569
01:06:29,600 --> 01:06:35,920
back. I look at you and I cannot say a potty word. Yeah. No excuses, Chris. No excuses, please. Okay.

570
01:06:38,080 --> 01:06:43,520
So, you know, and frankly, I really don't care. They can say whatever the hell they want to say,

571
01:06:43,520 --> 01:06:50,560
but this is what makes me unhappy, frankly, you know? And if you talk about this, to me, right,

572
01:06:50,560 --> 01:06:57,600
I think it's societal. I think it's become endemic in society. Why? Because even on the roads you

573
01:06:57,600 --> 01:07:02,320
drive and you know, when you put on a light indicator, you want to filter left, you want to

574
01:07:02,320 --> 01:07:09,040
filter right, that guy at either side, it doesn't matter who, you don't notice two complete strangers

575
01:07:09,040 --> 01:07:13,600
who are absolute assholes and they're just going to speed up and they're not going to let you go.

576
01:07:14,800 --> 01:07:20,880
And it happens every day, every... Well, eight out of ten in the times in a day, right? So,

577
01:07:20,880 --> 01:07:27,040
does it tell you, are we happy? No, no, no. Are we content or is everyone just empty?

578
01:07:28,640 --> 01:07:36,960
Very unfulfilled people and they need to fill their bank with a lot of behaviors like that,

579
01:07:36,960 --> 01:07:44,080
because if not, their life has no color words. You know? So, if you're fulfilled, your life is

580
01:07:44,080 --> 01:07:49,280
full of color. Your life is not just black and white, you know? But when you're empty, then your

581
01:07:49,280 --> 01:07:53,360
life is either black or white. So, what kind of advice would you give people like this? I call them

582
01:07:53,360 --> 01:07:59,040
assholes. What kind of advice would you give people like that, you know, who cannot find fulfillment,

583
01:07:59,040 --> 01:08:04,480
who just think about themselves? To me, I call them self-entitled, they're heartless, they're

584
01:08:04,480 --> 01:08:09,200
dis-compassionate and they ought to be slapped right in the center all the time. So that somebody

585
01:08:09,200 --> 01:08:13,360
has to do that and wake them up, you know? So, okay, that's me. That's just me talking. I'm not

586
01:08:13,360 --> 01:08:18,160
speaking on behalf of Jerry. She is a pro here. So, I'm going to ask a professional. What would you

587
01:08:18,160 --> 01:08:27,600
say to these sort of people? How can they wake up? I would wear the psychologist hat. These people

588
01:08:27,600 --> 01:08:34,720
have no insight. You get angry with them, you're going to make yourself upset. What's the point?

589
01:08:34,720 --> 01:08:41,200
Oh, come on. Don't tell me for one second it doesn't upset you when you're on the road, for example.

590
01:08:41,200 --> 01:08:47,920
Yeah, it does. But remember, sadness is a choice. Oh gosh, are we doing that? Are we really doing this?

591
01:08:47,920 --> 01:08:57,680
Are we really doing this? Oh boy. Okay people, I know some of you would agree with me for sure,

592
01:08:57,680 --> 01:09:04,880
right? Yeah, but the driving bit, especially driving bit. Sadness, being angry is a choice.

593
01:09:04,880 --> 01:09:12,640
Don't get angry, okay? I'm not saying don't feel sadness. Of course you feel. Of course you have

594
01:09:12,640 --> 01:09:22,320
your emotions. But by doing this, it's called repressing it, isn't it? But by getting as angry

595
01:09:22,320 --> 01:09:30,640
as them, by doing what they are doing, aren't you just stooping to that? No, no, no. I won't do

596
01:09:30,640 --> 01:09:34,720
that. What they're doing, I won't and I don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't do that. I don't like people

597
01:09:35,360 --> 01:09:40,800
indicate me if you want to go and I give them away. I don't do that. They'll make me a hypocrite.

598
01:09:40,800 --> 01:09:46,560
I get angry. Yes. I get really angry. I do. Do I get out there and hit someone? Of course not.

599
01:09:46,560 --> 01:09:49,360
I would be in prison right now. You wouldn't even be here. I wouldn't be here. There won't be no

600
01:09:49,360 --> 01:09:56,000
studio. Yeah, there'll be no show. Yeah, but I'm angry. Sure. And I know that if I hold it back

601
01:09:56,720 --> 01:10:02,960
and I don't curse and swear and I don't get angry, but I don't talk about it, I don't get pissed

602
01:10:02,960 --> 01:10:07,120
about it, I'm just repressing. Yes. And that's going to hurt me. I'm going to get high blood

603
01:10:07,120 --> 01:10:12,320
pressure. I'm going to get a stroke and die. Yeah. So that's also another thing, isn't it? So what

604
01:10:12,320 --> 01:10:16,880
does what? Okay. Don't talk about that. That's not important. These people who have no fulfillment,

605
01:10:17,600 --> 01:10:24,720
right? No empathy. We can't do anything about that until they have insight, but we can treat them

606
01:10:24,720 --> 01:10:30,800
with the respect that you've shown throughout the session with me. Obsession.

607
01:10:30,800 --> 01:10:38,240
You're having a session with me. In the end, I turned out to really be psychoanalyzed the whole time.

608
01:10:38,240 --> 01:10:42,160
Oh my goodness. Clever. This one free. I charge one.

609
01:10:45,600 --> 01:10:51,600
But really, they need our love. They need our respect. Of course we can get angry with them.

610
01:10:51,600 --> 01:10:59,600
We feel the anger, you know, but I'm not asking you to be a saint. I'm no saint myself. I get angry.

611
01:10:59,600 --> 01:11:05,920
I also can scold people. I just want to have the fleas of a thousand camels infest their hairs and

612
01:11:05,920 --> 01:11:11,680
their armpits. You know what size of it. I mean, you itch and scratch and itch and scratch and itch

613
01:11:11,680 --> 01:11:17,760
and scratch, you know, and keep scratching your underarms forever. Yeah. I mean, you know,

614
01:11:17,760 --> 01:11:24,560
honestly, man, I mean, I marvel at you, you know, for saying that. It's like a priest saying,

615
01:11:24,560 --> 01:11:28,800
you know, you know, step you one side, give him the other side, you know, and then give him the

616
01:11:28,800 --> 01:11:34,160
other side again and then give him the other side, you know. But it takes a lot of effort. And I do

617
01:11:34,160 --> 01:11:40,720
agree that we are very, you know, we can get angry and I do get very, very angry, right? It's,

618
01:11:41,440 --> 01:11:49,760
there's no point getting angry with them. And then you are left with that bitter taste in your mouth,

619
01:11:49,760 --> 01:11:54,800
whether or not I don't think it is worth it. You know, I can go and complain to my friend,

620
01:11:54,800 --> 01:12:03,200
you know what happened and I can download. And then I go like, okay, you know, you're not in my life.

621
01:12:03,840 --> 01:12:07,600
What do you want to do with your life? You do with you. What do you want to do with your life?

622
01:12:07,600 --> 01:12:10,960
Actually, honestly speaking, yeah, okay, if we don't want to

623
01:12:10,960 --> 01:12:19,600
therapize them and if I want to therapize me, I tell you how I do it. Okay. Classic. Besides going,

624
01:12:19,600 --> 01:12:24,320
thinking, you know, having a little fantasy in your head and this guy makes you really mad because

625
01:12:24,320 --> 01:12:29,760
that guy's completely off, right? And I go, besides the fleas and thousand camels on the armpits,

626
01:12:29,760 --> 01:12:38,240
yeah, you know, may you, may you have flatulence that lasts for two hours and you're just letting

627
01:12:38,240 --> 01:12:46,320
go gas or every minute, every second, every minute for two hours, okay, until you realize that

628
01:12:46,880 --> 01:12:53,680
you have no more anus. You have permission to rent. Correct. Yeah. And then I draw these little,

629
01:12:53,680 --> 01:13:00,480
you know, images and funny scenarios in my head and I, hmm, then I start laughing. Yeah. Yeah.

630
01:13:00,480 --> 01:13:05,600
So it doesn't affect your life. This person doesn't come into your life and he's, you're not

631
01:13:05,600 --> 01:13:12,320
responsible for your own sins. Sure, sure, sure. But when I was drawing, the reason why I raised all this is to come to a point. Yeah.

632
01:13:13,120 --> 01:13:18,560
That in my mind, there's so many people behaving like this. Yeah. And I'm gonna bloody sin, I don't

633
01:13:18,560 --> 01:13:25,760
care anymore about this word, contentment. There's so many people, I'm not even going to say unfulfilled,

634
01:13:25,760 --> 01:13:31,440
damn it. They're just bloody not happy. You know what I mean? Yeah. They're not happy. Yeah, they're not happy.

635
01:13:31,440 --> 01:13:39,040
So, you know, not happy, come and go to a psychologist, go to a counselor so that you can

636
01:13:39,040 --> 01:13:45,760
seek some happiness. For a moment, for a moment there, I thought you're gonna say, if you're not happy and you know it,

637
01:13:45,760 --> 01:13:52,400
don't clap your hands. Yeah. If you're happy and you know it, if you're not happy and you know it,

638
01:13:52,400 --> 01:13:58,720
don't clap your hands. Yeah. But yeah, no, on that, on, and on that note, I've done you a favor though.

639
01:13:58,720 --> 01:14:06,720
Everyone, take a look at Jerry's camera because this is gonna pop up right now. There you go.

640
01:14:06,720 --> 01:14:13,120
I know I may have broken some cop com rules because I didn't ask you about it but, but then again, what the heck, right?

641
01:14:13,120 --> 01:14:19,120
I mean, it looks pretty nice there, isn't it? The clinic is called the therapy room, okay?

642
01:14:20,080 --> 01:14:26,720
The context all there is very simple, okay? You guys really want to do this, you just pause at this time.

643
01:14:26,720 --> 01:14:34,000
Press button, pause. I'm not pausing now, I'm just looking at myself, I'm paused, okay?

644
01:14:34,640 --> 01:14:40,720
Okay, so just press pause and then the numbers are there, the email's there, the address is there.

645
01:14:40,720 --> 01:14:47,200
There is no way you cannot contact Dr. Geraldine Tan at the therapy room. And my team. And her team.

646
01:14:47,760 --> 01:14:51,840
She's so worried because she's so overwhelmed now. It's like, it's like the bits are full.

647
01:14:51,840 --> 01:14:57,120
Oh, my couches are taking up all the air. We don't have beds, we have couch.

648
01:14:57,120 --> 01:15:00,240
Comfortable on the couch? Not really. But why couch?

649
01:15:01,440 --> 01:15:05,760
I've always watched, before we end the show, I just want to know this. Why couch? Why?

650
01:15:05,760 --> 01:15:10,960
Who came up with the idea, Freud? Was it Freud? Supposed to be comfortable, you're supposed to

651
01:15:10,960 --> 01:15:15,920
lounge there and tell your story, you see. But why a couch? It could be a chair.

652
01:15:16,640 --> 01:15:19,760
Chair uncomfortable. It could be a table having coffee like you and me.

653
01:15:19,760 --> 01:15:24,320
Ah, so table, oh, there's a story for another time. But very quick one thing.

654
01:15:24,320 --> 01:15:25,440
Oh, really, there's a story for that.

655
01:15:26,240 --> 01:15:33,520
So when we have a couch, you and I have no obstacle in between. The table poses as an obstacle.

656
01:15:34,160 --> 01:15:36,880
So yeah, so it's a different story for a different time.

657
01:15:36,880 --> 01:15:40,000
Is that, that is, it's like me teaching you the psychology of the sail.

658
01:15:40,800 --> 01:15:46,480
You know, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's true, it's true, I teach that. Never do business when you sit down

659
01:15:46,480 --> 01:15:54,640
with a guy on a square table. Round table, it's non-intermediating. And there is a semblance of

660
01:15:54,640 --> 01:15:58,080
not really having a barrier. See, your framework and mine, not very different.

661
01:15:58,080 --> 01:16:03,280
Quite true. And then, you know, sit the guy on your left and you sit on his right. Because when

662
01:16:03,280 --> 01:16:08,880
you speak to his right ear, you are speaking more to his conjuring side than his logic.

663
01:16:12,240 --> 01:16:12,740
NLP.

664
01:16:12,740 --> 01:16:24,020
Yeah, well, not bad. Okay. So yeah, so couch is for that. One day I need to lie down on that couch.

665
01:16:24,900 --> 01:16:26,980
And what happens if your patient falls asleep?

666
01:16:28,500 --> 01:16:31,060
Then maybe they do really need that sleep.

667
01:16:31,060 --> 01:16:32,260
And then you leave them be?

668
01:16:32,260 --> 01:16:33,060
I leave them be.

669
01:16:33,620 --> 01:16:36,580
Wow. I really need that couch.

670
01:16:37,940 --> 01:16:40,580
No, you don't come into therapy to sleep, okay?

671
01:16:40,580 --> 01:16:43,540
Okay. Why do you just put an awesome chair there, man?

672
01:16:45,300 --> 01:16:46,740
I tell you, you get more out of the guy.

673
01:16:48,980 --> 01:16:53,300
Anyway, Jerry, thank you so very much for spending this hour plus with us.

674
01:16:54,100 --> 01:16:55,540
And it's really been nice, really, really.

675
01:16:55,540 --> 01:16:59,940
It's so funny that my cheek is so painful.

676
01:16:59,940 --> 01:17:03,780
I've succeeded. I've only said, and it wasn't even an expeditive.

677
01:17:03,780 --> 01:17:06,980
By the way, asshole, it's not an expeditive.

678
01:17:06,980 --> 01:17:07,540
Yeah.

679
01:17:07,540 --> 01:17:08,100
It's not what?

680
01:17:08,740 --> 01:17:09,940
I don't think it is.

681
01:17:09,940 --> 01:17:11,140
It's not. Yeah, it's not.

682
01:17:11,140 --> 01:17:15,140
You had a little baby a long time ago in that movie, the talking baby.

683
01:17:15,140 --> 01:17:18,740
Look who's talking. And he went, hey, ho.

684
01:17:18,740 --> 01:17:19,540
See? Not bad word.

685
01:17:20,420 --> 01:17:21,460
Yeah, hey, it's not a bad word.

686
01:17:21,460 --> 01:17:23,460
Yeah. For those of you old enough to remember that movie,

687
01:17:23,460 --> 01:17:24,580
for those of you too young, forget it.

688
01:17:26,020 --> 01:17:28,100
So no, see, no potty mouth today.

689
01:17:28,100 --> 01:17:29,780
Completely clean.

690
01:17:29,780 --> 01:17:30,900
Amazing.

691
01:17:30,900 --> 01:17:34,020
Absolutely. I'm about to spoil it.

692
01:17:34,740 --> 01:17:36,100
I'm going to fuck out right now.

693
01:17:36,100 --> 01:17:43,140
Okay. Thank you, everyone, for spending time with us.

694
01:17:43,140 --> 01:17:44,420
I hope you enjoyed yourself.

695
01:17:44,420 --> 01:17:46,100
It's been a lot of rambling today.

696
01:17:46,740 --> 01:17:51,860
And this only happens when Dr. Geraldine Tan is with me.

697
01:17:51,860 --> 01:17:53,780
Otherwise, I will not ramble.

698
01:17:53,780 --> 01:17:55,220
Actually, I do bullshit.

699
01:17:55,220 --> 01:17:56,580
I'll see you guys again next time.

700
01:17:57,140 --> 01:17:59,380
Till then, stay safe, everybody.

701
01:17:59,380 --> 01:18:00,180
Bye-bye.

702
01:18:00,180 --> 01:18:10,180
Bye.