Hey beautiful, welcome to my podcast, Queerly Having Issues.
I believe we all have our issues because we all have a story.
My name is Jafeth and it's time to tell you about mine.
Hello and welcome to another episode.
Today I want to talk about Buddhism.
Like many others, I've turned to meditation as a way to find peace of mind.
I especially want to look at the way that it's often viewed as being queer-friendly.
I mean, when I would think about Buddhism, I would think about meditation, about mindfulness
and just about treating each other kindly and having peace with one another and respecting
each other, inclusion, you know, these sorts of things.
I was just curious to look into this subject to see if that is really the case.
But before we get into it, I have a quick favor to ask.
If you enjoy listening to my episodes, then please take a moment to rate this podcast
five stars in your app.
It is a small action on your part, but it makes a huge difference as by doing so, you
will help me reach more people who might benefit from it.
I apologize for the delay of this episode.
I know it's been a while and I've been writing my master's thesis while working my job.
Next to that, I've also released another single called PS I Love You.
I will leave the link in the description.
It's a queer pop ballad about feelings of love and transformation.
So yeah, I've been juggling quite a lot of things, which is also why it took me a while.
However, I do appreciate you tuning in again.
So thank you for joining me again.
Before diving into the main topic, I would like to share a bit about my background and
how meditation has become part of my daily routine.
So growing up in a Christian environment, I remember how meditation was often viewed
with suspicion, even seen as something occult, as with any practice that would stem from
another religion basically.
But as I was dealing with life's hardships and, you know, letting go of my old beliefs
and my religious background, I began searching for ways to calm my mind and sort of give
my mind space to breathe and to heal.
And this search led me to meditation, which has since become a daily practice for me.
While you might think meditation to be a relaxing thing, in the beginning, I actually struggled
giving in because of the bias regarding meditation for my upbringing.
I still remember the stress in my neck while participating in the 21 day meditation challenge
by Oprah and Deepak Chopra.
I don't know if you've heard about it.
Maybe you've never done any of them, but during these meditations, they introduce a
Sanskrit mantra, which has a special meaning and it's basically a sacred message or text.
Some people might even call it a charm or a spell.
In my environment, they would often say things like, be careful of your soul, you know, like
don't lose your soul.
Like I once told my mother I was doing yoga.
She told me to be careful with my soul.
These kinds of ideas are ingrained into your mind from a young age.
And so the Sanskrit mantra is basically a spell.
So I wasn't even allowed to watch Harry Potter, you know, talking about spells.
Besides that, it's actually quite funny that I've gotten a Sanskrit tattoo on my throat
two years ago, which I'm really happy with.
I could have never imagined that I would ever do that.
Anyway, back to these mantras.
There was something about them that triggered stress, just the thought, I guess, that I
was doing something wrong as I was thought that these things would not be good for me.
And it's crazy how these perceived ideas impacted my body, even though I was already deconstructing,
aka leaving my old beliefs.
This is an interesting bodily aspect that I'm currently writing my thesis on, just the
bodily experience that we as queer people have while we turn away from our religious
environments and the impact that this choice has on our minds and bodies.
While I was experimenting with meditation, I've come to understand that I prefer a more
grounded approach to spirituality, just something that keeps me focused on the present moment
rather than delving into abstract concepts like spiritual entities or, you know, sometimes
there's meditations and they start talking about the third eye.
These are just things that immediately make me snap out of it and be like, what the fuck?
But if it works for you, then by all means keep doing what you're doing.
And I mean, we all have our preferences and what works for me doesn't necessarily work
for you and the other way around.
Eventually, I found that more basic forms of meditation, such as focusing on my breath
or doing body scans, they worked for me or maybe even a loving kindness meditation, for
example, in which you send yourself an othersome love.
And I think as a Libra, I can definitely appreciate that.
Next to that, I've also read books on how there's substantial research supporting the
benefits of meditation for mental well-being.
So for me, that was a reason to continue doing it and seeing in which ways it will benefit
me.
I also remember during the process of leaving my Christian faith, I remembered that there
is a scripture in the Bible actually that says, be still and know that I am God, which
I've always interpreted as a form of meditation.
I mean, it's about being quiet, surrendering and being present in the moment basically.
And interestingly, I've noticed that more Christians are beginning to embrace meditation
as well, which is showing a shift in perspective and you know, so a shift in a trend, I guess.
So I was actually reading an old journal of mine that I found this week and there I mentioned
how I was listening to a podcast of Oprah Winfrey.
That is something I would do a lot in the past.
For some reason, I've stopped doing that.
I guess I'm less searching for answers and I've just sort of come to this point in my
life where I embrace life just the way it is.
But she mentioned, if you don't know what to do, get still.
I had all these questions in my mind, all these questions without answers, and I was
dealing with a lot of stuff in my mind.
And then I was like, okay, if you don't know what to do, get still, just shut the fuck
up and be quiet, basically.
That's what I'm trying to do, I guess, you know, and it's also like meditation because
it always gives me sort of a good insight into my brain, like to see what thoughts are
present, if they are positive or negative, and just to be aware of them and know what's
going on.
I think that coming from a very conservative Christian background, there was a lot of noise
in my mind, and especially now that I was choosing a completely different path in life.
So I was always looking for answers and trying to find my own truth.
And I think partly because I was taught that we had the truth with a capital T, it didn't
come easy for my mind to just rest and let things be.
Because what if I would miss out on the real truth and be lost forever, you know, like
I grew up with the idea of going to hell.
So meditation has become a way for me to grab my brain some rest and connect with the still
ness inside myself.
And it took me a while, but I am really appreciating this practice now.
I started meditating when I began experiencing symptoms of complex speech as the so I spoke
about this on my first episode called religious trauma in a nutshell.
And I'll leave the link in the description.
I explained in that episode that the symptoms come from the constant messaging that being
gay meant I was condemned to hell and would never be accepted.
And hearing this repeatedly and internalizing it over many years have led to feelings of
anxiety and restlessness.
So when you're dealing with these kinds of symptoms, you're naturally searching for ways
to calm your nervous system and find peace.
At least that's what I did.
And that's how I stumbled upon meditation.
And while it took me some time to discover what worked for me, I eventually found that
a more grounded, mindful approach to meditation was incredibly valuable in my healing process.
And you know, sometimes the practice works better than others, because I do remember
that once I meditated and then I went to work and I was walking out of the train station
and a woman rang her bike bell while riding behind me on the sidewalk and I was like,
somehow I was triggered and I we got into an argument and I think it was even yelling.
So it was like, so much for meditation.
Or maybe it would have gotten worse if I hadn't meditated.
I don't know.
But anyway, it's not a quick fix to anything.
It's just, I think more about being aware of what's going on and to just calm down
the nervous system.
So this exploration of meditation and spirituality led me to question the Western view of Buddhism
as being naturally queer friendly.
And I wanted to explore the reality behind this perception, especially considering how
Buddhism is often portrayed as a philosophy focused on peace, mindfulness and personal
well-being.
In my master's program, I was following a course in engaged Buddhism by Jens Reinke
and I had to write a paper and most of the times I try to include topics that are personally
valuable to myself that I can learn something from.
So I was like, oh, okay, is Buddhism inherently queer friendly because that is sort of the
idea that we are getting here.
So I was like, yeah, let's explore this topic.
And I just want to make clear that I'm not a specialist on Buddhism and queer issues
within this religious context.
And what I share here comes from my own experiences, observations and research.
So I'm still learning and growing in my understanding.
So please take my thoughts as part of an ongoing journey rather than definite answers.
And if you have insights or corrections, like I'm always open to learning more.
So please let me know.
So for this episode, I want to talk about Buddhism and how it's often presented as
queer friendly, particularly in the West.
So I was like, let's Google Buddhism and see what pops up.
I saw many articles on how people view Buddhism more as a philosophy than as a religion.
And it's quite common to see people referring to Buddhism as just a way of life or a philosophical
system, even though it's fundamentally a religion.
And then when I'm talking about the so-called West, I'm talking about regions such as the
European Union, the United States, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand.
People in these countries often seem to think of Buddhism as being mostly about meditation,
mindfulness, and finding personal peace.
And I think that this has contributed to a more modern, individual focused perspective
that has become quite trendy in these places.
I think that Buddhism has been molded to fit into our individualistic societies.
To me that makes sense, especially when you consider influential figures like Oprah Winfrey,
who in an interview she did with Thich Nhat Hanh, I hope I'm pronouncing it correctly.
She was a famous Buddhist monk.
Within this interview, Oprah, she portrayed Buddhism as being primarily focused on meditation,
chanting, and seeking inner peace.
And I have to admit that when I first began exploring Buddhism, I sort of had the same
idea.
And the reason why I call it the so-called West is because I recently discovered that
if you look at the world from the perspective of an Asian map, where Asia is at the center,
what we call the West isn't viewed the same way.
So on their maps, the West usually refers to Europe while the Americas are shown far
to the east across the Pacific.
So I thought that was very interesting and actually makes a lot of sense as well.
When I'm talking about the Western perspective, I'm talking about the approach that emphasizes
practices like meditation and mindfulness, and which often portrays Buddhism as supportive
of diverse identities.
As a newcomer to Buddhism, I also assumed that it was inherently queer-friendly, largely
because of its associations with meditation and mindfulness.
So yeah, I have never really stopped and considered the actual opinion that Buddhists have on
queer people.
And I think as a queer person, it's sort of important to have a little bit of knowledge
about that, even though Buddhism, of course, is a very broad religion, just as any other
of the main religions.
So there was this idea in my mind that Buddhism was all about peace, mindfulness, and just
minding your own business.
There is also research that shows Buddhism to be one of the most accepting religions
when it comes to the queer community.
For example, there was a study that was published in the Journal of Homosexuality, and it compared
79 countries and found Buddhism to be the most gay-friendly religion.
However, this conclusion is based on comparisons between countries, so it's not a study on
how individuals treat queer people in these countries.
So far no research has looked closely at how religious teachings affect people's attitudes
in different parts of the world, so more research is needed to understand this better.
Curious to see how Buddhism is viewed in relation to queer people, I did some research while
basically I started with a simple Google search like, does Buddhism support queer people,
or is Buddhism queer-friendly, just questions like that.
And many responses were straightforward, saying yes, your sexual orientation doesn't
matter in Buddhism, or yes, you can practice Buddhism freely regardless of your identity.
There's also a comment that said that most Buddhists see nothing wrong with being queer,
although some might reject any form of sensual desire if it hinders enlightenment.
And then there was another one that said Buddhists don't care about your private life as long
as you are not harming others.
Just being human is enough.
So yeah, these sort of corresponded with the idea that I have had.
While I was looking into this topic, I also came across articles about Thailand, which
is often thought of as a queer-friendly destination, or it is even called a queer paradise.
And the articles that I've read exposed a more complex reality for queer people who
actually live and work in Thailand.
So these tourism agencies are advertising Thailand as a great place for queer travelers,
but then at the same time, there are local activists who say that this image hides the
real problems.
And according to the Bangkok Post, Thailand appears to be tolerant, while queer people
face many challenges.
There was another article in a Dutch newspaper called De Volkskant, and this article questioned
whether the friendliness towards queer travelers is actually genuine.
Basically, these tourism campaigns aim to attract visitors who care about diversity,
but it is unclear if local queer people have the same positive experiences as tourists
have.
So then I found a Thailand country report, and it pointed out that talking about sexuality
is still a taboo in Thai society, and schools don't provide enough sex education.
According to this report, Thailand is modernizing, but that is happening within traditional systems
that are hard to change, and because of this, it's difficult for younger people to adjust,
and especially when older generations hold on to old beliefs.
So these articles show that queer people seem to often face negative views from society,
and they are seen as strange or abnormal because of their sexual preference, gender identity,
or appearance, when this doesn't fit traditional gender and sexual norms.
And there was another article discussing harmful phrases in the media, and this article highlights
how the media misrepresents queer people, which leads to unfair treatment and discrimination.
This discrimination, whether it's open or hidden, it causes human rights violations.
So there seem to be barriers that create an environment where the rights of queer people
are not fully protected.
The same article also mentions how queer people in Thailand often face worse health conditions.
It mentions there are higher rates of HIV, depression, suicide, and economic insecurity
compared to straight and cisgender people.
There was another article that was about queer rights in Thailand, and it mentioned how many
studies agree that these health problems are mainly caused by discrimination, social exclusion,
and stigma faced by the queer community.
And the last report that I read was a report by the United Nations Development Program,
and it showed that queer people face many challenges in protecting their human rights.
The UNDP stated that while there is some appearance of acceptance for queer people in Thai society,
many still face a lot of discrimination, whether that be in their family, in their education,
in the media, there's discrimination in economic and religious structures.
So there is a lot of discrimination going on.
So there seems to be a great contrast between how Thailand is portrayed globally as a haven
for queer tourism and the actual acceptance of queer people within Thailand itself and
their lived realities.
So now let's look at the main religion in Thailand.
This is a country where Theravada Buddhism is deeply ingrained in tradition, with about
95% of the population practicing it.
So that is a large number.
And Theravada Buddhism is one of the main branches of Buddhism.
It's also one of the oldest and most traditional forms of Buddhism, and often it is referred
to as the teaching of the elders.
The bedrock of Theravada Buddhism in Thailand, similar to many religious traditions globally,
rests on foundational texts guiding its followers.
So although these scriptures may not directly touch upon modern queer identities, they do
shape views on sexuality and gender through interpretations of core principles such as
karma and rebirth.
Some interpretations, for example, suggest that one's gender and sexual orientation
in this life might be a result of past karmic actions.
Such interpretations can influence societal perspectives on these individuals.
So sometimes people look upon these queer people sort of with pity, you know, like,
oh, sucks to be them.
They cannot really do anything about it because in their previous life they have done something
wrong.
While traditional interpretations within Theravada Buddhism may predominantly lean towards heteronormative
perspectives, contemporary perspectives within Thailand are experiencing transformation as
well, so there are some contemporary Buddhist scholars and practitioners who advocate for
interpretations that emphasize compassion, acceptance, and recognition of the intrinsic
worth of every individual, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity.
Historically, however, Buddhism has been primarily focused on encouraging people to become celibate
and give up what texts refer to as the village practice of sexual intercourse.
So there wasn't any interest in concerns that are now known as queer issues.
However, diverse gender and sexual expressions have always existed in Thailand, so there's
a term that they use, Kathoey, I'm not sure if I'm pronouncing it correctly, but they
use this term for the third gender that has been a part of their history, which has been
available to both males and females alongside traditional masculine and feminine identities.
I will use the term queer, even though it's also good to explain that it will be difficult
to translate Kathoey with a single word.
This is because this term overlaps with many different English terms without corresponding
exactly to any of them, as this term is specific to Thailand, particularly when mentioning
individuals who identify as a third gender or have a gender identity that does not conform
to the binary male-female system.
Even Buddhist texts like the Jataka Tales and the Vinaya Rules address behaviors that
deviate from traditional norms.
The Vinaya, which sets rules for monks, mentions the term Pandaka, which some scholars believe
might refer to a queer person, but these texts mainly emphasize celibacy for monks rather
than directly addressing queer issues.
So the term I've mentioned before, Kathoey, which is mostly associated with transgender
women, so when you Google this term, that becomes very obvious because it's only images
of trans women.
However, I did read that its meaning can be broader and more complex within Thai society,
so in the big cities it's often used to refer to transsexual women, but then in other areas
it might be used as a disrespectful term for gay people, much like how the word queer has
been reclaimed in our society.
Some people in the queer community in Thailand have also started to reclaim Kathoey as their
own.
So it's obvious that Theravada Buddhism is influential in shaping societal views in Thailand
with so many practitioners, and so it impacts how people think about love and identity.
According to the United Nations report, many people in Thailand view non-normative sexual
orientations or gender identities as a result of bad karma from past lives and as an inner
ability to control one's desires.
So I think most of us are familiar with the term karma, and also in Theravada Buddhism,
karma reverts to the moral law of cause and effect, where one's actions in past lives
influence their present and future experiences.
This belief can extend to the way people perceive non-normative sexual orientations and gender
identities.
Some traditional interpretations suggest that being born as a queer person could be the
result of bad karma from previous lives.
So the idea is that actions from past existences, particularly those seen as ethically questionable
or sinful like cheating on someone, may lead to rebirth in a less favorable condition,
which in this context is being queer.
This misinterpretation though contributes to a narrative that pains queer people as
irresponsible while leading to stigma and discrimination in various areas of life, including
employment, healthcare, and community acceptance.
Then there's also the five precepts that are fundamental ethical guidelines in Buddhism
that encourages individuals to live morally and mindfully.
One of these five is the precept to refrain from sexual misconduct.
This is one that is often used to argue that queer relationships are immoral and promiscuous.
Critics may claim that these relationships threaten social norms and the institution
of marriage, by doing so they are reinforcing harmful stereotypes about queer individuals.
We can hopefully all understand how such views not only cause shame, but also create barriers
for queer individuals who are seeking validation and support for their identities.
And this misunderstanding leads to less acceptance in society and encourages intolerance, as
I'm sure we all know too well within the context of our own lives.
So in Thailand today, some people accept the queer community because of their Buddhist
beliefs while others do not.
For example, some famous Buddhist figures have spoken against the queer community and
often there are debates taking place on social media, especially when it comes to gay monks.
I also read an article about how some people see transgender individuals in Thailand as
a threat to society.
It mentioned how some politicians blame the country's lower birth rate on the rise of
transgender people and they argue that this harms the country's culture and identity
and could make it harder for Thailand to continue as a society.
I actually thought that was a little bit funny.
I was like, seriously, even though of course it's sad, especially because transgender
people in Thailand are very visible.
So they're both very visible, but also marginalized at the same time.
Like in the media, they're often shown in stereotypical ways, which sort of creates
a paradox where they are both celebrated and stigmatized.
So even though they are visible, they still face serious challenges such as discrimination
and difficulty accessing healthcare and lack of acceptance from their families and communities.
I realized that this topic is quite complex and hard to comprehend and even for me, like
I wrote a paper on this topic and I had some time to dive into it, but of course my time
was limited.
You know, there's so many more articles to read and things to hear.
I do think that this information is clearly showing how there is a big difference between
how the world sees Thailand as a progressive queer-friendly place and the more complex,
often unjust reality that queer people face there.
While at the same time, it is also giving us some insight into the role of Buddhism,
Theravada Buddhism in this case, in shaping attitudes towards queer identities.
So yeah, there's a lot of traditional views that have often supported conservative beliefs
and pushed queer people to the side, but then at the same time, there's also a growing movement
that aims for more inclusive and compassionate perspectives, which seems to be more fitting
to how I would view Buddhism before diving into this topic.
I don't know if you've seen it, probably you have, but there have been efforts to legalize
same-sex unions in Thailand and they have faced a lot of opposition, clearly showing
the clash between old traditions and new ideas.
But the good news is that the law allowing same-sex marriage started this January 2025,
so that makes Thailand the third country in Asia to allow same-sex marriage.
So it's progress and it's just a shame that sometimes it has to take so fucking long.
So again, Thailand's reputation as a progressive place for queer people is not entirely unfounded,
but it is important to understand the underlying complexities and challenges that still exist.
So with this episode, I am hoping to create some awareness on the widespread influence
of Buddhism and the lived experience of queer individuals who actually live in a Buddhist
country.
And I know this was just Thailand and Theravada Buddhism, and there's so many different countries
and different forms of Buddhism that exist.
So I'm aware that there is need for further exploration.
Also what I've noticed while reading literature on this topic is that there are certain segments
of the queer community, such as lesbian women or people who identify as bisexual or transgender
men, they were missing in the existing literature.
I do hope though that I have been able to eliminate the oversimplified perception of
Buddhism as merely a trendy philosophy.
I think sometimes it's very easy to take something from another culture and make it your own
without being aware of the actual lived experiences of the people we took it from.
And I think, especially as queer people, it's sort of good to know the history and the actual
lived experiences of our fellow queer human beings.
I do want to end this episode though by mentioning that turning to spirituality can be very beneficial
for us queer people, as many of us have faced hardships and there is actually research that
shows that this could offer a sense of release, balance and some peace of mind.
I know for me, meditation has definitely helped me feel more calm and more focused and more
grounded, even though I don't really consider myself to be spiritual or religious.
While many practices are rooted in a specific tradition, I think we can still find personal
healing and peace through them without necessarily identifying with a particular belief system
as long as we are respectful in doing so.
So I would say, keep doing what works for you.
Thank you for joining me on this short exploration and I hope you enjoyed this episode.
You can also leave a comment here on Spotify if you want, as I would love to hear your
thoughts on today's topic.
You can also reach me on Instagram at QueerlyHavingIssues.
Until next time, take care.