1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:14,040 Hi. Hi. Nova, guess what? What? This is the last episode of the season. What? Yes. Already? 2 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:18,680 Yeah. Mindful Poly Season 1. I can't believe this. Can you believe we recorded a whole 3 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:25,440 season of a thing? No. Uh huh. It was pretty cool though. It's true. And it's very cool. 4 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:31,160 So what should we do to commemorate the end of season 1? Well, one of the things I hoped 5 00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:35,720 we'd do is talk about what our experiences were like making this thing together. I love 6 00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:43,400 it. Let's do it. So how did you feel when I first asked you, like, could we, like all 7 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:49,760 these great conversations we have, can we like record it? I want to share our private 8 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:59,000 conversations with everyone on the internet. You know, I was strangely open to it. Because 9 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:04,240 we clicked together very well as a couple and it's sort of like every new area that 10 00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:08,760 we've explored, we're like, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah. And then to find that happening 11 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:19,680 with this project was just like, what? Come on. I mean, why not? At this point? Sure. 12 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:27,440 I shouldn't have been surprised. I was. And so that kind of made it easy too. Because 13 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:31,040 basically anything one of us was like, I don't really like doing that. The other one was 14 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:37,400 like, I love doing that. Or I can't do that. And your other person's like, that's my living. 15 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:43,520 That's what I do. Yeah. Like I can't code. Sure. You made a website. Oh, I love to code. 16 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:50,520 I mean, I do do that all day. I was more excited. I will say like getting a chance to edit has 17 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:57,240 been my favorite thing about this experience because I also can't do that at all or would 18 00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:04,200 want to. Getting to go back and pull back out my editing chops has been really fun. 19 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:08,400 And I've learned more about who I am as an editor and you've learned more about who I 20 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:15,280 am as an editor. Maybe you can make the pause a little shorter. Oh, of course I can. I can 21 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:22,440 do whatever I want. That is why it's fun to be an editor. You have such power. I do. Right. 22 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:27,560 So you bring the editing and the coding and websites. Yes. I bring the art. Yes. All of 23 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:37,160 our logos, all of our episode title cards. The visual side of this has been largely a 24 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:42,280 Fox production, even though you took my art and then built a website around it. Sure. 25 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:46,480 Another reason why I was really excited to start a podcast with you is it's actually 26 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:52,200 been a long time dream of mine to have a podcast. Ever since I was first listening to podcasts 27 00:02:52,200 --> 00:03:02,520 around 2006, 2007, I've wanted one and made attempts, mostly 100% unsuccessful attempts 28 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:09,120 to start one with various because I've always been around other creative people. Yeah. I 29 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:15,480 have to give props to every other person who attempted to start a podcast with me because 30 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:21,280 they all gave it a really good shot. I know their hearts were in it with me and I just 31 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:25,400 have to thank them for saying yes. And because all of those little attempts, like where we 32 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:30,480 did one or two episodes of a thing, all of those led up to this moment because then I 33 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:36,200 had the long time desire and the little bits of experience that I was like, I can really 34 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:44,160 do it this time. And then we're both podcasting fans. We listen to podcasts a lot. Yes. And 35 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:49,560 we have different tastes in them, which is kind of nice to blend. Yes. I like that too. 36 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:53,920 I listen to a lot more of the conversational ones that are a little bit more comedy focused 37 00:03:53,920 --> 00:04:00,460 or off the cuff. And I prefer the ones that are edited and thought out and organized and 38 00:04:00,460 --> 00:04:07,240 like, yeah, that's my, and I'm bringing that heavy handedness to my editing, which is how 39 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:12,440 we get these hour long conversations that come out to 20 minute episodes. And I love 40 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:19,720 that we both bring those tastes and those, like those sensibilities to this and hopefully 41 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:25,760 it creates something that's a really nice mix of the two. And I think the way you've 42 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:30,920 described it before is just like that you enjoy our conversation so much and feel like 43 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:37,860 they might be helpful to others. And it turns out maybe they have been. I guess. Oh wow. 44 00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:48,400 What a fantastic segue. One that was, that has come to mind is the Aero Ace episode. 45 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:54,640 Yeah. So I, we heard from multiple people that that episode was very, it helped them 46 00:04:54,640 --> 00:05:02,800 feel seen and was, they got out a lot out of hearing a similar experience to their own 47 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:11,280 shared. Yeah. Which is really big for me because I, I realized I have a really easy time talking 48 00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:17,040 to you about big things, heavy things. I'm, I'm generally a really open person and I like 49 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:26,320 sharing my world. And then as we got closer to releasing that episode in particular, I 50 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:31,680 started to get a little anxious and I was checking in and kind of noticing that feeling 51 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:36,880 and trying to understand where it came from. And I, and I realized it's just coming from 52 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:43,920 the fact that I'm being vulnerable in those episodes with like anyone that wants to download 53 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:48,560 them. And that's just a new experience for me, but I think it's an important experience 54 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:57,000 and I, it's incredibly validating to hear that it's helpful to others. Cause that, that's 55 00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:02,840 more than I could have ever hoped. So. I just want to actually read the comment was, I really 56 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:08,480 appreciated this episode as a great ace identifying person, but oh boy, now I think I might be 57 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:17,640 arrow to time to study up. That's so great. That, that, um, that was something more that 58 00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:23,440 they learned about themselves possibly. Okay. I, I have to read this one part that someone 59 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:29,160 wrote to us. Your episode about insecurities and the one about asexuality really hit home. 60 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:33,640 It was really nice to have those broader topics through the lens of polyamory as I feel like 61 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:39,000 poly is taking such a central part in my life and my reflections. Not only did I feel seen 62 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:44,880 and valid, but finished listening to the episodes with a good laugh. It took me this and, and 63 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:49,760 it took me this lighthearted mood for the rest of the day. So thank you for making us 64 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:55,200 reflect on topics that can so easily become a source of anxiety without any headache. 65 00:06:55,200 --> 00:07:03,560 Oh, so I, I melted when I, when I read the heart, I know, right? That's so awesome. 66 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:10,640 Yeah, totally. I love it. So Fox, do you have like a favorite episode from the season? I 67 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:18,040 have like all of them, but valid, valid. Uh, but one of my favorites has been insecurity. 68 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:24,600 Oh, like, okay. It was our first episode. Yeah. And there's kind of a story behind the recording 69 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:31,120 of the first step. Oh, right. Yes. So, uh, that, that was a kind of a learning episode 70 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:36,800 for us because we, um, we're getting used to our equipment and how to get the best sound 71 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:43,160 we were looking for. And we made a huge mistake the first time around. We did that whole episode 72 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:47,440 twice. And the primer too. To me, it still feels like one of our best episodes. And that's 73 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:53,760 what that was take two. Yeah. Yeah. I see that. You know, I mean, so for, for those 74 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:58,560 reasons that kind of has a special place in my heart. I also, I mean, I love relationship 75 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:05,200 escalator, even though I like smush up some of my words in that one, like it has some 76 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:09,280 things I wish I could still edit. I love it the way it is because even with its flaws 77 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:15,560 on repeat listens, I still, I love that episode so much. It's fun. Yeah. Another reason why 78 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:23,060 that relationship escalator episode was, uh, has a special place for me is recently I've 79 00:08:23,060 --> 00:08:32,160 been on dating apps. I got on Tinder and, uh, one of the things that has made that an 80 00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:39,000 enjoyable experience for me is your story that you shared in the escalator episode, 81 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:45,000 you chatted with each other and that relationship did not escalate, but it was such a positive 82 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:50,200 experience for you and continues to be. It is. I had that story that you shared in the 83 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:54,760 back of my mind the whole time. And it kind of took away a lot of the pressure that I 84 00:08:54,760 --> 00:09:00,040 felt of like, when someone matches with you and then you like send a message and are they 85 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:05,880 going to write back or, or you start messaging a couple of times and then maybe they're silenced 86 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:12,840 for a few days. Yeah. And like, I felt so less stressed about those moments because 87 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:19,600 I was like, it really helped me align my expectations in a much more healthy way. I think. Which 88 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:24,760 is kind of strangely always been my relationship with dating apps, but I'm happy that some 89 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:29,500 of it rubbed off and I hope maybe it rubbed off on listeners as well. Cause that is always 90 00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:34,000 how I approached any kind of dating app is just from a place of like, let's see what 91 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:39,200 happens. I just got headbutted in the face by Jara. I know. Oh, she's such a lover. Speaking 92 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:47,640 of shout out to our cohost. I think Jara is the most vocal and, um, participatory cohost. 93 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:54,800 What was that word? Participatory. She's most involved in our podcasting. Yes, she is. Um, 94 00:09:54,800 --> 00:10:02,800 but there are other cohosts in the home, including Jolie and a new feature named Edmong. All 95 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:06,460 of which have been on the podcast. Yeah. At various times you've probably heard them making 96 00:10:06,460 --> 00:10:14,080 sounds or interrupting us because they're all pets by the way. Without special nicknames. 97 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:18,640 No, they're the one time they kind of already have special nicknames cause pets just, that's 98 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:23,320 what we do with pets. Right. But they're the ones that we broke the rule for. We did. Um, 99 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:27,720 and then my third favorite episode, which is we're doing it. We're doing a top three, 100 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:35,800 which I love as equally as the other two is one that you listeners maybe have just heard. 101 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:42,160 It is the audience participation of the crowdsource, the crowdsource episode that is so high on 102 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:48,680 the list. That is such a good one. Oh my gosh. And that episode to me felt really like, just 103 00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:54,000 like it had the stillness and peace to it. Yeah. With one person talking and then another 104 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:59,820 person sharing their same or different opinion on the same question. Speaking of the crowdsource 105 00:10:59,820 --> 00:11:06,200 question episode, I want to read what one person said about it. I don't see or hear 106 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:11,240 uninterrupted answers to questions very often, especially from so many people in succession. 107 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:19,160 Yeah. Wow. Some of these people sound like emotional scientists or scholarly wizards. 108 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:23,480 Those were both about that, that episode, the crowdsource question episode. It is hard 109 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:28,480 to pick a favorite, isn't it? Yes. So what is your favorite? Oh, you're teasing me with 110 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:36,880 the crowdsource one cause that was so good. But, um, my, I think the top ones for me are, 111 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:43,680 it's hard to pick between two. One is dialectic thinking just because I'm such a philosophy, 112 00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:50,000 psychology, sociology nut. And I adore those ideas because they just, they have this way 113 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:54,520 of transforming the way that people interact with the world. Like you get a new idea, you 114 00:11:54,520 --> 00:12:00,420 get a new term and it just like, it's, it blossoms. Like you're just like, this thing 115 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:05,440 I didn't understand now makes sense in a new way. And I'm just like, what, what, what, 116 00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:12,120 what? And I love that. But then that's also true with the arrow ace episode. So I think 117 00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:17,320 that one's also really high on my list. I know what it's been like for me to hear other people's 118 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:24,120 stories and how much that's helped me. Um, not just like tip toe around a label, but 119 00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:32,680 to be like, I am this label. Yes. So those two are really, I just have a hard time picking 120 00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:38,880 because they're just powerful in different ways for me. I love that you brought up dialectic 121 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:43,600 thinking because you, I mean, it was an aha moment for you. You shared it with me. It 122 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:48,560 was an aha moment for me. Yeah. We put it into a podcast episode and it was a aha moment 123 00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:54,080 for listeners. Yes. Yes. I've heard others share that like dialectic thinking kind of 124 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:59,000 blew their minds or it like helped them connect with different parts of themselves or, you 125 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:05,200 know, uh, going back to that idea of like, am I allowed to be both things? Like, oh, 126 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:09,640 you just kind of gave me permission to be them both with that episode. And I was like, 127 00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:15,200 oh my God, yes. Great. That's wonderful. I mean, that's kind of like the, the golden 128 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:25,040 prize. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Totally. We just are so happy that maybe like invite us over 129 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:30,000 and we'll like have that conversation too. Oh, I want to join. Yeah. Can I, can I, I 130 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:34,240 want to talk about these things. I want to talk too. So one thing that I'd like to share 131 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:39,240 as we wrap up this season, it's not necessarily related to the season. It is related to our 132 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:47,520 name is that I recently did a presentation, another presentation at Southwest Love Fest. 133 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:55,520 Yeah. In Tucson, it was amazing. You're wearing the shirt that I got you. Um, but I did do 134 00:13:55,520 --> 00:14:01,600 a presentation, my mindful poly presentation, which we are absolutely 100% going to make 135 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:07,600 part of our season two, um, episode series so that I can finally share that. Cause we 136 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:12,000 keep teasing it and I don't want to just keep teasing it. I want to offer it. I can't wait. 137 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:17,240 I'm really looking forward to it. Yeah. And what a great way to honor that you lent that 138 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:23,960 name to this podcast. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So what season wrap up would be complete without 139 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:28,680 following up on some of the developments that have happened since we recorded those episodes. 140 00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:36,840 Yeah. One of those was episode two coming out at work, right? In which you described 141 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:42,400 your plans and thought process behind deciding to invite me and your partner, Elliot to a 142 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:47,520 work party. Yeah. And then it kind of left you all hanging, didn't I? Yeah. At the time 143 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:51,280 of recording you, we hadn't gone yet. Yeah. So what happened? I was just hopeful about 144 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:59,720 it. Uh, yeah, I would say overwhelmingly it was a success. I think, um, we're still in 145 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:07,240 a culture where people have a hard time knowing what to say or how to interact with a group 146 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:12,520 of three that's out. What I felt really good about was I didn't shy away from making it 147 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:17,080 pretty clear that I was there with both of you. Like having my arms around both of you 148 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:23,200 or being with both of you. I, you know, I didn't try to pretend that one of you was 149 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:30,480 the partner and the other was a friend or anything like that. Um, and so we were often 150 00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:38,240 referred to as entourage. Like you were my entourage. So they didn't want to, that seemed 151 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:44,040 to imply to me that they weren't quite comfortable saying like your partners or even your friends, 152 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:49,740 they were my entourage that seemed to be there with me. But they always did it in a really 153 00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:54,760 positive way. I'm like happy, happy that you brought your entourage with you. Yeah. Kind 154 00:15:54,760 --> 00:16:00,920 of like, I'll take that. I'll take that. All right. Well, and on that note, there was a, 155 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:06,280 um, one of the service staff there took our photo offered to take a photo and we were 156 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:11,840 like, yes, thank you. That would be so great. And she did. And she's like a lucky girl or 157 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:15,640 something like that. And then she kind of took a moment and she's like lucky guys. And 158 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:25,120 I'm like, uh-huh. Thank you. Um, that was also really, um, a highlight. Um, and then also just like, 159 00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:31,280 I forget how they put our name tags, but we chose to sit with me in the middle and that 160 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:39,240 felt good too. Cause it was yet another signal that we all are connected and that, you know, 161 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:45,240 in essentially like I'm in the middle. That is the most basic visual signal you can send. 162 00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:50,240 Yeah. Uh, Elliot wasn't a barrier between me and you. Right. And, and, and when asked 163 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:55,120 about various things, we talked pretty openly about doing things together and, um, kind 164 00:16:55,120 --> 00:17:01,600 of like making references to co-parenting Sunny and that all felt really good. No one, 165 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:07,240 I don't think anyone was comfortable enough to ask specifically what was going on, which 166 00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:13,880 is fine. And I understand overall, I think it went really well. It was, uh, one of those 167 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:20,280 rare moments I think that's just gonna, that I'm going to carry in my back pocket forever. 168 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:26,360 I, I was thrilled. The whole evening was really great from my perspective as well. Yeah. I 169 00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:34,760 got to be your arm candy. You're such delicious arm candy. Yum, yum, yum. So, uh, we've got 170 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:39,120 a little time before we start on season two. I've already teased that I'm going to talk 171 00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:43,600 about mindful poly is one of the episodes. We do have plans for the other ones as well, 172 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:48,560 but right now this is something we do for fun and it makes us happy. And we don't, you 173 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:54,800 know, sometimes passion projects can dip into that space where they feel like obligations 174 00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:59,840 and we want to keep this in a place where it feels like a fun thing. Right. Um, I want 175 00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:06,480 to chase that good mojo. Yeah. And, um, and so in the interim before we release season 176 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:11,400 two, we do want to kind of like help spread the word a little more about season one. And 177 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:14,920 one of the ways we want to do that is we have like some really fun ideas to make a tick 178 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:21,600 tock account together. So yeah. So look forward to some mindful poly tick tocks. When we set 179 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:25,720 up the account, we'll definitely put the word out on our Instagram so you can follow us 180 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:30,880 there. So a special thank you to everyone that helped us, um, kind of review some of 181 00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:37,440 the episodes before they were ready for release. Yes. Thank you. River Teigen, Stevie and Elliot 182 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:45,360 for feedback and review. Yeah. And lastly, and no least important, thank you to wine 183 00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:52,440 and coffee. Yes. At different times. Uh, yeah, depending on when we record, they're very 184 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:59,600 important to the making of this podcast. And so now this is goodbye. Yeah. Well, just for 185 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:06,600 season one, goodbye forever. No, it's not goodbye forever. We're so excited to get season two 186 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:12,680 up and running after a good break. Yeah. And on that note, as our ending music is fading 187 00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:19,320 in, I'm just a spirit having a human experience. I'm glad I had this one with you. Yeah, me 188 00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:31,960 too. Thanks for having it, Fox. Bye Nova. Bye. Oh, a shout out to my basement for having 189 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:38,480 such good acoustics. Woo. That's why this podcast sounds so good. So good. So good. 190 00:19:38,480 --> 00:20:02,960 I got you. Stinger.