Hi. Hi. Nova, guess what? What? This is the last episode of the season. What? Yes. Already?
Yeah. Mindful Poly Season 1. I can't believe this. Can you believe we recorded a whole
season of a thing? No. Uh huh. It was pretty cool though. It's true. And it's very cool.
So what should we do to commemorate the end of season 1? Well, one of the things I hoped
we'd do is talk about what our experiences were like making this thing together. I love
it. Let's do it. So how did you feel when I first asked you, like, could we, like all
these great conversations we have, can we like record it? I want to share our private
conversations with everyone on the internet. You know, I was strangely open to it. Because
we clicked together very well as a couple and it's sort of like every new area that
we've explored, we're like, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah. And then to find that happening
with this project was just like, what? Come on. I mean, why not? At this point? Sure.
I shouldn't have been surprised. I was. And so that kind of made it easy too. Because
basically anything one of us was like, I don't really like doing that. The other one was
like, I love doing that. Or I can't do that. And your other person's like, that's my living.
That's what I do. Yeah. Like I can't code. Sure. You made a website. Oh, I love to code.
I mean, I do do that all day. I was more excited. I will say like getting a chance to edit has
been my favorite thing about this experience because I also can't do that at all or would
want to. Getting to go back and pull back out my editing chops has been really fun.
And I've learned more about who I am as an editor and you've learned more about who I
am as an editor. Maybe you can make the pause a little shorter. Oh, of course I can. I can
do whatever I want. That is why it's fun to be an editor. You have such power. I do. Right.
So you bring the editing and the coding and websites. Yes. I bring the art. Yes. All of
our logos, all of our episode title cards. The visual side of this has been largely a
Fox production, even though you took my art and then built a website around it. Sure.
Another reason why I was really excited to start a podcast with you is it's actually
been a long time dream of mine to have a podcast. Ever since I was first listening to podcasts
around 2006, 2007, I've wanted one and made attempts, mostly 100% unsuccessful attempts
to start one with various because I've always been around other creative people. Yeah. I
have to give props to every other person who attempted to start a podcast with me because
they all gave it a really good shot. I know their hearts were in it with me and I just
have to thank them for saying yes. And because all of those little attempts, like where we
did one or two episodes of a thing, all of those led up to this moment because then I
had the long time desire and the little bits of experience that I was like, I can really
do it this time. And then we're both podcasting fans. We listen to podcasts a lot. Yes. And
we have different tastes in them, which is kind of nice to blend. Yes. I like that too.
I listen to a lot more of the conversational ones that are a little bit more comedy focused
or off the cuff. And I prefer the ones that are edited and thought out and organized and
like, yeah, that's my, and I'm bringing that heavy handedness to my editing, which is how
we get these hour long conversations that come out to 20 minute episodes. And I love
that we both bring those tastes and those, like those sensibilities to this and hopefully
it creates something that's a really nice mix of the two. And I think the way you've
described it before is just like that you enjoy our conversation so much and feel like
they might be helpful to others. And it turns out maybe they have been. I guess. Oh wow.
What a fantastic segue. One that was, that has come to mind is the Aero Ace episode.
Yeah. So I, we heard from multiple people that that episode was very, it helped them
feel seen and was, they got out a lot out of hearing a similar experience to their own
shared. Yeah. Which is really big for me because I, I realized I have a really easy time talking
to you about big things, heavy things. I'm, I'm generally a really open person and I like
sharing my world. And then as we got closer to releasing that episode in particular, I
started to get a little anxious and I was checking in and kind of noticing that feeling
and trying to understand where it came from. And I, and I realized it's just coming from
the fact that I'm being vulnerable in those episodes with like anyone that wants to download
them. And that's just a new experience for me, but I think it's an important experience
and I, it's incredibly validating to hear that it's helpful to others. Cause that, that's
more than I could have ever hoped. So. I just want to actually read the comment was, I really
appreciated this episode as a great ace identifying person, but oh boy, now I think I might be
arrow to time to study up. That's so great. That, that, um, that was something more that
they learned about themselves possibly. Okay. I, I have to read this one part that someone
wrote to us. Your episode about insecurities and the one about asexuality really hit home.
It was really nice to have those broader topics through the lens of polyamory as I feel like
poly is taking such a central part in my life and my reflections. Not only did I feel seen
and valid, but finished listening to the episodes with a good laugh. It took me this and, and
it took me this lighthearted mood for the rest of the day. So thank you for making us
reflect on topics that can so easily become a source of anxiety without any headache.
Oh, so I, I melted when I, when I read the heart, I know, right? That's so awesome.
Yeah, totally. I love it. So Fox, do you have like a favorite episode from the season? I
have like all of them, but valid, valid. Uh, but one of my favorites has been insecurity.
Oh, like, okay. It was our first episode. Yeah. And there's kind of a story behind the recording
of the first step. Oh, right. Yes. So, uh, that, that was a kind of a learning episode
for us because we, um, we're getting used to our equipment and how to get the best sound
we were looking for. And we made a huge mistake the first time around. We did that whole episode
twice. And the primer too. To me, it still feels like one of our best episodes. And that's
what that was take two. Yeah. Yeah. I see that. You know, I mean, so for, for those
reasons that kind of has a special place in my heart. I also, I mean, I love relationship
escalator, even though I like smush up some of my words in that one, like it has some
things I wish I could still edit. I love it the way it is because even with its flaws
on repeat listens, I still, I love that episode so much. It's fun. Yeah. Another reason why
that relationship escalator episode was, uh, has a special place for me is recently I've
been on dating apps. I got on Tinder and, uh, one of the things that has made that an
enjoyable experience for me is your story that you shared in the escalator episode,
you chatted with each other and that relationship did not escalate, but it was such a positive
experience for you and continues to be. It is. I had that story that you shared in the
back of my mind the whole time. And it kind of took away a lot of the pressure that I
felt of like, when someone matches with you and then you like send a message and are they
going to write back or, or you start messaging a couple of times and then maybe they're silenced
for a few days. Yeah. And like, I felt so less stressed about those moments because
I was like, it really helped me align my expectations in a much more healthy way. I think. Which
is kind of strangely always been my relationship with dating apps, but I'm happy that some
of it rubbed off and I hope maybe it rubbed off on listeners as well. Cause that is always
how I approached any kind of dating app is just from a place of like, let's see what
happens. I just got headbutted in the face by Jara. I know. Oh, she's such a lover. Speaking
of shout out to our cohost. I think Jara is the most vocal and, um, participatory cohost.
What was that word? Participatory. She's most involved in our podcasting. Yes, she is. Um,
but there are other cohosts in the home, including Jolie and a new feature named Edmong. All
of which have been on the podcast. Yeah. At various times you've probably heard them making
sounds or interrupting us because they're all pets by the way. Without special nicknames.
No, they're the one time they kind of already have special nicknames cause pets just, that's
what we do with pets. Right. But they're the ones that we broke the rule for. We did. Um,
and then my third favorite episode, which is we're doing it. We're doing a top three,
which I love as equally as the other two is one that you listeners maybe have just heard.
It is the audience participation of the crowdsource, the crowdsource episode that is so high on
the list. That is such a good one. Oh my gosh. And that episode to me felt really like, just
like it had the stillness and peace to it. Yeah. With one person talking and then another
person sharing their same or different opinion on the same question. Speaking of the crowdsource
question episode, I want to read what one person said about it. I don't see or hear
uninterrupted answers to questions very often, especially from so many people in succession.
Yeah. Wow. Some of these people sound like emotional scientists or scholarly wizards.
Those were both about that, that episode, the crowdsource question episode. It is hard
to pick a favorite, isn't it? Yes. So what is your favorite? Oh, you're teasing me with
the crowdsource one cause that was so good. But, um, my, I think the top ones for me are,
it's hard to pick between two. One is dialectic thinking just because I'm such a philosophy,
psychology, sociology nut. And I adore those ideas because they just, they have this way
of transforming the way that people interact with the world. Like you get a new idea, you
get a new term and it just like, it's, it blossoms. Like you're just like, this thing
I didn't understand now makes sense in a new way. And I'm just like, what, what, what,
what? And I love that. But then that's also true with the arrow ace episode. So I think
that one's also really high on my list. I know what it's been like for me to hear other people's
stories and how much that's helped me. Um, not just like tip toe around a label, but
to be like, I am this label. Yes. So those two are really, I just have a hard time picking
because they're just powerful in different ways for me. I love that you brought up dialectic
thinking because you, I mean, it was an aha moment for you. You shared it with me. It
was an aha moment for me. Yeah. We put it into a podcast episode and it was a aha moment
for listeners. Yes. Yes. I've heard others share that like dialectic thinking kind of
blew their minds or it like helped them connect with different parts of themselves or, you
know, uh, going back to that idea of like, am I allowed to be both things? Like, oh,
you just kind of gave me permission to be them both with that episode. And I was like,
oh my God, yes. Great. That's wonderful. I mean, that's kind of like the, the golden
prize. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Totally. We just are so happy that maybe like invite us over
and we'll like have that conversation too. Oh, I want to join. Yeah. Can I, can I, I
want to talk about these things. I want to talk too. So one thing that I'd like to share
as we wrap up this season, it's not necessarily related to the season. It is related to our
name is that I recently did a presentation, another presentation at Southwest Love Fest.
Yeah. In Tucson, it was amazing. You're wearing the shirt that I got you. Um, but I did do
a presentation, my mindful poly presentation, which we are absolutely 100% going to make
part of our season two, um, episode series so that I can finally share that. Cause we
keep teasing it and I don't want to just keep teasing it. I want to offer it. I can't wait.
I'm really looking forward to it. Yeah. And what a great way to honor that you lent that
name to this podcast. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So what season wrap up would be complete without
following up on some of the developments that have happened since we recorded those episodes.
Yeah. One of those was episode two coming out at work, right? In which you described
your plans and thought process behind deciding to invite me and your partner, Elliot to a
work party. Yeah. And then it kind of left you all hanging, didn't I? Yeah. At the time
of recording you, we hadn't gone yet. Yeah. So what happened? I was just hopeful about
it. Uh, yeah, I would say overwhelmingly it was a success. I think, um, we're still in
a culture where people have a hard time knowing what to say or how to interact with a group
of three that's out. What I felt really good about was I didn't shy away from making it
pretty clear that I was there with both of you. Like having my arms around both of you
or being with both of you. I, you know, I didn't try to pretend that one of you was
the partner and the other was a friend or anything like that. Um, and so we were often
referred to as entourage. Like you were my entourage. So they didn't want to, that seemed
to imply to me that they weren't quite comfortable saying like your partners or even your friends,
they were my entourage that seemed to be there with me. But they always did it in a really
positive way. I'm like happy, happy that you brought your entourage with you. Yeah. Kind
of like, I'll take that. I'll take that. All right. Well, and on that note, there was a,
um, one of the service staff there took our photo offered to take a photo and we were
like, yes, thank you. That would be so great. And she did. And she's like a lucky girl or
something like that. And then she kind of took a moment and she's like lucky guys. And
I'm like, uh-huh. Thank you. Um, that was also really, um, a highlight. Um, and then also just like,
I forget how they put our name tags, but we chose to sit with me in the middle and that
felt good too. Cause it was yet another signal that we all are connected and that, you know,
in essentially like I'm in the middle. That is the most basic visual signal you can send.
Yeah. Uh, Elliot wasn't a barrier between me and you. Right. And, and, and when asked
about various things, we talked pretty openly about doing things together and, um, kind
of like making references to co-parenting Sunny and that all felt really good. No one,
I don't think anyone was comfortable enough to ask specifically what was going on, which
is fine. And I understand overall, I think it went really well. It was, uh, one of those
rare moments I think that's just gonna, that I'm going to carry in my back pocket forever.
I, I was thrilled. The whole evening was really great from my perspective as well. Yeah. I
got to be your arm candy. You're such delicious arm candy. Yum, yum, yum. So, uh, we've got
a little time before we start on season two. I've already teased that I'm going to talk
about mindful poly is one of the episodes. We do have plans for the other ones as well,
but right now this is something we do for fun and it makes us happy. And we don't, you
know, sometimes passion projects can dip into that space where they feel like obligations
and we want to keep this in a place where it feels like a fun thing. Right. Um, I want
to chase that good mojo. Yeah. And, um, and so in the interim before we release season
two, we do want to kind of like help spread the word a little more about season one. And
one of the ways we want to do that is we have like some really fun ideas to make a tick
tock account together. So yeah. So look forward to some mindful poly tick tocks. When we set
up the account, we'll definitely put the word out on our Instagram so you can follow us
there. So a special thank you to everyone that helped us, um, kind of review some of
the episodes before they were ready for release. Yes. Thank you. River Teigen, Stevie and Elliot
for feedback and review. Yeah. And lastly, and no least important, thank you to wine
and coffee. Yes. At different times. Uh, yeah, depending on when we record, they're very
important to the making of this podcast. And so now this is goodbye. Yeah. Well, just for
season one, goodbye forever. No, it's not goodbye forever. We're so excited to get season two
up and running after a good break. Yeah. And on that note, as our ending music is fading
in, I'm just a spirit having a human experience. I'm glad I had this one with you. Yeah, me
too. Thanks for having it, Fox. Bye Nova. Bye. Oh, a shout out to my basement for having
such good acoustics. Woo. That's why this podcast sounds so good. So good. So good.
I got you. Stinger.