Hello everybody and welcome back to the real talking podcast with your hosts Ash and JD
So we've had a
lovely little trip away
More me than you
It was a nice little weekend
Nice fucking lakeside lodge
Yeah it was a good fucking little weekend
It was a nice marquee
Yeah it was obviously you didn't get there till late on Friday
Whatever accidents on the motorway
So yeah
Didn't do much on the Friday night
Watched Pluck Crouch's new special on Netflix
Razzle Dazzle
Yeah and Saturday I was walking out with the dogs
Yeah I think Saturday
It's going to take a while to beat that
Interesting evening
So I set the scene
I was given some vouchers for the hog roast at this marquee
And they had the event on for the charity Air Ambulance
So we've walked the dogs
Made sure they were allowed to go in there
We're winning £2 a drink for each can
You can't win it
All the profits were for the charity anyway
Yeah the hog roast, a bit disappointed
It was just the cop
I thought it would be a bit more
It was a nice cop
But then he didn't like it
Because by the time we'd had it
There was no applesauce left
So it was just the stuffing
I had to give the rest to the dog
He was sitting there looking staring at me
So I had got three bots and gave him the rest
And then the wife decided she wanted to go back to the lodge
So we walked her back
Come back
That was the start of the raffle
By the time I got back
So I'd got £20 worth of tickets
100 numbers
I remember as I walked back in
I'd come to the bar and I'm pouring over
He's having a drink
He's going
White, 409
That's the girl
He's like, are these tickets white?
Yeah they're white
I was like, you sure? Because they look great to me
He's like, no no they're white
I'm like, I want a strong bow
And a glass of lemonade please
I walked over
Waving me ticket in the air
You was like the first
I was the first one
The first one
So you had the selection of the prizes
You could have had the best prize
Yeah, because obviously I didn't know what the sketch was
Whether there was a tier to the tickets or anything
He didn't even ask for the ticket
He just said
Just grab another one out of the book
So I grabbed one out
It was pink something
The other chap was like
Yeah so grab your prizes off the table
I was like, anything
He was like, yeah anything you want
I'm looking at this fucking table
And there's not a great selection of prizes anyway
So I've already got my eye on something
I was like, Ross
Turn around to the girl, he says definitely anything
There's no tier system
Whatever you want
I'm like, bottom of the jimersons
I'm like, top of my head
Oh god, I was getting the evil
I was straddling
So that was it
Walking back over
I think I'd only sat down for like 30 seconds
By the time, because I'd grabbed the drinks
Come over
You won the first one
It was the third or fourth one, wasn't it
Because it was literally, I'd grabbed the drinks from the bar
Got the change
Walked over
And I just about sat down
And called another number out
And I was like, hey
Walked back over again
Bottle of wine
And it was right now where you could feel everyone
Starting to hang
Already fucking turning around
Four tickets here, two prizes
So, grab this bottle of wine
I don't drink wine, fuck you, I'm not kidding
So I don't know if it's a good bottle or not
But I thought it's another bottle of alcohol
If I didn't use it drinking wise
Which was most of the time
I was sticking in a lasagne while I'm cooking or whatever
So, yeah
Going back over, sit back there
And it was at this point where
I was like
What's up there, Jack
Is that office up there
Because I was
Looking at the table
So I had the Jameson straight away
Because that was the first one I've got
Whiskey, sand, that's wine
The bottle of wine
I'm not really into wine so I didn't pay too much
Attention to it anyway
But then there was a little four extinguisher
There was some camping gear
Some cones
And this and that
There literally wasn't a good selection
I would definitely add the best
Pro is after the holidays
The Jameson's was probably the most expensive thing there
Well, yeah, because I looked at it afterwards
It was a £27 bottle from Aztec
And it was £20 worth of tickets I got
Straight away
So then
Again, I was only sitting down for a couple of minutes
At this point
And a third number's called out
Because all the numbers were sort of all
In the same range but it was the different colours
Wasn't it, the amount of times it talked
395
Pink, I'm like, oh god
No, I've got it in white, not in pink
So, yeah, the third one's called out
I remember walking over
And I was like, everyone, again, again
Oh, not him again
I think it was the Cubs I'd got at that point
No, it was the Frisbees
The Frisbees, yeah
So, yeah, again, holding it in the air
Shove in everyone
And I walked back
Sat down
And then, again, because there was the other chap as well
He was on about two or three prizes
Yeah, he was
A prize or was he behind you?
Yeah, I think he was on two at that point
Because it seemed like we had a
Bit of a role for him going
Even though I didn't even know what he looked like
He was just some old boy
And so, I remember us laughing
Because with the Bert Kroosche special
The Razzle Dazzle
He's done a similar situation
I won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't watched it
And does want to watch it, definitely worth a watch
Anyway, though
But, yeah, I remember
Saying
He was on about doing bingo calls
And all sorts
Which on the fourth fucking week
I did a shout-out
To anyone who doesn't know
It's a winning call
For a bingo fucking win
Which you have to be politically
Correct with that these days, don't you?
Fucking hell
So I walked up, I'm fucking getting there
So, yeah, that would have been the camping cups
Four sets
Orange mugs
Yeah, I remember just sitting there
And we were waiting for
The fifth one to get called out
I was going to fucking take my top off and everything
We were talking, what could you do
If you win a fifth one
We had to feel the hate
It would have had to have been a fucking
I don't know, get up and start body popping
Or fucking break dancing
It would have had to have been a scene
I suggested you use
Shout bingo
I definitely would have done my best anyway
But I think I would have had to fucking
I don't know, just drop down and do the worm
In the middle of the fucking dance floor beat
So, yeah
It ended as the four prizes anyway
Fucking quarter
So I worked it out
Roughly about £50 worth of prizes
Not bad
Remember as we was leaving then
We basically just finished those tins and went out
And I was like
No, no, I'll hold all my prizes
I stared down the fucking
The jumpers open
I got my bottle and one prize under one arm
The other bottle and the other prize under the other
And everyone's fucking just staring at me
What a fucking
Note
Even the bonplugs
Good weekend for you then wasn't he
Like birthday weekend as well
I'm going to enjoy these jamsons
Yeah, fucking
It was a good note
Definitely done well
Yeah, and then obviously
You tied it back on a Sunday
So my birthday didn't do much
To be fair in the end I just sat around
Took the dog out for a walk
Just watched a bit of TV, didn't do much
And that was the sort of scheme
For the rest of the week really then
We went to that woodland area
A couple of times after that
And I walked around
In the fields next to the solace and everything
Then
This is where it starts to go on to
My jay-d's rant of the week
Yeah, strap yourself in for this one
On Wednesday I found
The
Little shopping centre
It was hammering down around
So I didn't see much, I just knew there was a co-op there
Loads of co-ops around that area
All drove past
Like another three
I saw this one on Saturday
Fucking loads
So I found this one
Because I was going to a spa that was closer
Than the other co-op
And then I saw this shopping centre
I was like, I'll put in there
So on Thursday
I said to the missus
Well, I found this little centre
Do you want to have a move to see what's about
She was like, yeah, alright
On the way
I want to get some bulbs
I know he was driving to the salt
The front row was salt
The main beam bulb had died
I was like, nah, not Halfords
I'll find a car place
So I'm looking on my phone
I'd already looked for the bulb that she needed as well
Halfords were one of them
Six pound, nine pence
You won't know with these car dealerships
Not fifty pence for a bulb
Because it's fucking the markup on Halfords
It's fucking ridiculous
But instead of just turning around and saying
Yeah, sound jan
We'll go to this car place
No, it's a holy shit
No, we're going to Halfords
It's up the road from the shop
No, we're going to Halfords
Said about the price
Six pound for the one
Said we'd be like fifty pay for the bulb in the car shop
It's not about the price
I'm not asking you to pay for it
I'm not paying for it anyway
It's your car
You can pay for it
We'll just go to the car shop
There's no fucking issue
No
A whole fucking scene about it
So we've missed the turn to turn up to the shop
And so she starts moaning at me about that
So I'll turn up
Carry on straight
It'll take us to the car shop
No, she gets in this road and lane
Turns right
Shoots up the road
Goes all the way around the roundabout
Come back on ourselves
And then the lady who's the operator
Has a moan at the fucking car
That assumes she's just turning right anyway
Because she's got no big big head or anything
A freeway roundabout
A little wall shaped one
Then she puts her foot down
Coming off the roundabout
Don't drive like a dickhead now
Just because you're not happy
That I'm trying to save you money
So we fucking go to the shop
I'm pissed off now
I'm not in a good mood
I'm not seeing pissed off now thinking about it
There's no need to make a scene
Just say alright yeah
Go to the car shop
You go in, you go to the desk
I'll need this ball mate
Sound fucking 50p
Pound whatever
So we go to the shop
There's not much of this shopping centre to be fair
There was a charity shop, a chipier pizza place
Something else
So it probably wasn't worth
Her coming out anyway
I'm going to go to the shop on my own
Which in hindsight I wish I fucking did
So we've gone to the Halfords afterwards
This fucking
Submediates taking the time
Trying to reverse into a spot
So because she's in a mood as well
She's given her attitude
And I'm thinking these two young lads
Are probably knifed up or something
So if she fucking
They're already staring at me
If she fucking carries on I'm going to have to get out
And fucking get stabbed
Or slap two fucking little dickheads up
Either way I don't want to be in a fight
Fucking
Then we go into Halfords
She ended up spending about 30p
12p or something for two balls
But I think in her head she's made a point of
Getting other stuff, she's got some tea cuts
And some sponges
We've got sponges for the car wash at home
Fucking, but no she's made a point of
Buying more stuff
So we've got back to the lodge
I was like alright
Do you want to do the balls now
We'll leave you for a bit because it was starting to rain as well
I didn't want to stand in the rain
Yeah in rain is best to do in the rain
No I'll do it
So she's stayed out in the rain
Fucking took her a bite
And now that
To change two balls
You've done it yourself
Happy days
So then
For all we do as we fucking wrapping up
When we was going there
In the first place
The cars full, the boots full
Behind the seats are full
Fucking, now I already know we've got more stuff to take back
Of us, also because you're amazing presence
And the winnings
Yeah the winnings
And
The last little bit of food that we haven't finished off
So
I've just said to her
Before we go away
Next stop, I'll have a look at getting
A roof rack and one of those
Storage boxes for the top of the car
Well I haven't
Decided where I want to go for my birthday
So straight away she's being
Nasty
I'm not saying it's for your birthday
We could go away in six weeks again or something
Whenever we go away again
It'll just make it easier, roof rack
Storage box on top
And then we've got half the boot free
And half the box free, we're fucking anything
No, well I don't want to drive one of those
On the top of the car
It's not going to be on the top of the car the whole time
It's just while we're away, it goes on
Then we take it off
When you're just driving it to work and whatever
It doesn't stay on top of the car
And it's a whole scene again
Well I don't want one, we've got enough room in the car
It will all fit
I know it wouldn't, fucking
Not comfortably anyway, fucking
So again
A whole scene of just
Fucking about the storage
And then when it comes to
The last bits going in the car
Now I already knew that the boot was full
Because I put the last thing in there
And I knew that behind the seats were full
Because I put stuff in there already
So she's pulling things back out to try and
Texture her seat, fucking make it fit in
A little bit better
It ain't going to work
So I knew it was going to be fucking
Stuffed in between my legs and on my lap
The whole drive back, which weren't two bags
An hour and twenty minutes
Oh that's a fucking sight
It would be pretty handy having a fucking roof rack
With a storage box on top now, wouldn't it?
And I know she heard me
Fucking, but she's like, what you say? I'm coming in yeah?
And then when she's come back into the lodge
Four minutes later
It's like she's thought, I'll see if he's fucking
Brave enough to say it again
And I did, I fucking repeated myself
Would have been handy having a roof rack with a fucking
Storage box, wouldn't it? No fucking
Stressing, drawing her from squeeze stuff in then
Or, or, no comment
Just the fucking hoof and a puff
So again it's just that
The fact that, boy can't just turn around
And say, I appreciate that
That's a good idea
We'll think about it, even if she
Doesn't want to fucking do it
Don't make an argument out of it
Just fucking, just like, not even
That, fucking, because that's
That's enticing for a boy's
Reaction, we've said no I don't
Want to, just like
She was like, I don't want it on my car, I don't
Want it, no, because that's doing it
For a fucking reason
To fucking, either start an argument
Or just completely dismissing it
Yet if it was a friend of hers
Or someone else
So if it was you or your missus
That would have said
Why didn't you get one of those roof racks
And a fucking storage box? Would you think a response
Would have been different then? It definitely would have been
Because it would have just been
Yeah yeah, I'll look into that
Yeah that's a good idea that is
She hasn't thought of it herself
That's what's an issue, and she has to cause
The same with me
Just like, alright yeah, so I'm going to have a look
I'm the one offering to call you
As well, fucking, so we'll say
She fucking loves it next time when we're fucking
On into the back of the van, get all the fucking
Shelfing and everything out of there
Get the dog fucking in the back of the van
And I'll get a storage box and stick it on my fucking
Roof rack, and we go get in the car
Because it's comfy, yeah, and she prefers to drive
And in general, if I've had a lot
Of drink, and it might not be safe to drive
The next day, it's better that way
But now we're out of principle, I'm going to fucking go in the van
Next time and say I should auction off
Fucking, there's just no need for it
And I swear, it's to fucking just
Warm me up, you know, she never even got me a birthday present
She has to carry on fucking warming me up
I didn't want to bring this up
Obviously on the podcast
I'm already fucking ranting
Fuck it! So is this still
Not a birthday present? No
Like, in the works? No
All it is, is just
Well, when you tell me what you want, I'll get you something
Have you got something in mind that you're purposely not telling her?
Well, I don't know what her budget is
She hasn't said, I've got a hundred and fifty pound that I'll spend on her
Well, how much do you spend on her? Because normally it kind of works
Yeah, I don't really have a budget
See, so I can just get it? Yeah
No, okay, so I think
You would think she would spend at least a hundred?
Well, I get it beforehand
She wasn't earning as much money as me
So I don't expect her to spend as much as what I do
Because I don't know, I don't know if it was for a birthday last year
I spent probably maybe three hundred pounds
And that's just pajamas, fleeces, blankets and whatever
It's just stuff in general
But, you know, I'm happy
Just spend fifteen hundred quid, whatever
Yeah, it just wants you to knock something
Yeah
I think obviously you and your missy smashed it
Because even though the Beyblades are nowhere near what the standards used to be
And it was that bad, it made me want to buy the original ones
Because they're just different
Yeah, but we spent probably fucking an hour or so having a go
And even though we didn't have the battles that we expected to
We had a lot of people
It's fucking not really quiet
But it doesn't have to be a great present
It's just something
And the one thing I don't know if we did mention it on the last episode of the podcast
We also got matching Tamagotchis as well
I don't think we mentioned it, but no
Even though that was given before
It was just like an nostalgia feel, wasn't it?
Yeah, you know, because it's actually
The socks are quite the same
We're still kids at art
So just get a fucking toy of some sort
A remote control car or fucking something
And I can just sit there
And just fucking take me back to my childhood
Just get put to the side again for fucking another 12 months
But it's something
You've had something
But no, fucking nothing
Oh my god
I think I'm an athlete and that right there now before I get divorced
Why don't you just look for something tonight
And just say, can you get me this?
So she's still got the list from Christmas
Of look, a range of tools
That I need slash want
That I will get myself over time
So she could have easily have gone back to that
And gone, oh that's under a pound, I'll get him that
Because you were saying, why don't you go up and down and get some tools
Suggesting to go with your missus
And do a few fix around the corner
No, not doing it
Just dismiss the fucking straightaway
Because I thought it would have been nice in general
If the pair of them went into town
And Harold's just out shopping and that
Because I'm sure Kay wouldn't have wanted doing that
And going back to the birthday presents thing
Because you would have used the tools
Yeah
He wouldn't have been left on the side for 12 months
The best present she got me for Christmas on my list was a hammer
It sounds fucking strange and fucking a hammer
Not special about that
It's a nice design, it's a great weight
And then the simple thing about it, it's got a little magnet
So when it comes to nails, it sits on the magnet
You give it the first initial fucking tapping
And then your fingers are safe
You're not holding a knife or potentially hurting yourself
You give it a good fucking whack, it goes in a bit
And then you send it the rest of the way
So yeah, that was one
Well, that probably was the best present she got me for Christmas
And it was on the list of stuff that I wanted
So there's still loads on there that she could have reverted back to
Now, are you purposely now like what's the saying
You know I was about to spot you face
But you're not just going to give me this
Or is it a pride thing now?
No, I think it's probably a bit of a bone flock
I've told her don't fucking bother getting me anything now then
So that's the, you know, I was about to spot your face
But yeah, I'm just passing the shit
What's the point?
She's the one that's argued about it
When all of Seth really is just get anything
It's the fucking effort and the thought that fucking counts
And the fact that she's been lazy about it
That's the annoying thing
She made the comment, well, not everything that you get, I want
I actually thought about it afterwards
The only thing that she hasn't enjoyed
Was a gunnery game for the Nintendo Switch
I think it was a Dragon Quest game
I don't know what one it was now, there's that many of them
Did she play the one before?
Well, she plays the Dragon Quest Builders
Because there's two of them
But that in your foot that she didn't enjoy the game
That's the game
She loved the other ones that I got her
And in this one she's played it for an hour or so
Not a couple to say, yep, same, not the end of the world
I think it's a game that I'll enjoy so I'll end up playing it anyway
Or I'll do the same, when I get round to it I'll play it for an hour
But I'll keep saying, if not, oh well, fucking
So that's the only thing that I could think of that she hasn't loved
Because even when she bought that comment
She was wearing one of those oodle things that I'd got her for either a birthday or Christmas
I can't go wrong with getting pyjamas and stuff like that
Because it's getting warm and comfortable
And she's always cold
Even the heating on, as low as it could be in that lodge
She was still too hot for me
She's still there with the pyjamas and everything kind
Just all snuck up
Me and the dog were literally panting together
He was horrendous the one night
So, yeah, I think it's just fucking a bit of an experience
I think you should go back tonight and just say, I want this
But if I have that conversation
I need to know how much she can afford
Or was willing to spend on me anyway
Because there's no point me saying, I want this tool
This costs 250 pounds and she's like
I was only going to spend 50 pounds on you
So I need to know what price range she's looking at
Before I can do any of that
I won't fucking
If I do fucking bring up the conversation
Whether I want to have an argument or not
I think I'll get back and start drinking and then say how I feel
I mean, it's got to happen
It's got to be today
Because I'm not fucking ruining my football day tomorrow
And I think, look
If you leave it any longer than the week
It's not, you've gone past your birthday period
I won't pass it anyway
I really don't care if she gets me anything or not
I'll say how I feel
I'll have a drink and a beating from her
You'll be telling her everything you want then
Well, there's always one thing that she's never going to fucking give me
Oh fucking gobble
A birthday blowjob
What the blowjob ever
Fuck me
Wow, that would be nonsense, I don't know what the fuck man
Right, hopefully she doesn't listen to this fucking episode
I'll be definitely in the dark, guys
Is that the rant over there?
Yeah, yeah, I wanted to finish you four minutes ago
But you get me fucking going again
Fucking blood pressure is right on her at the roof at the moment
Good job I ain't got me watch on
Well, let's move on
Let's move on to Mason Greenwood
Now, you're sport man, yeah?
Yeah
Do you think you should come back?
And if so, why or if not, why?
Yeah, so it's an old segway of women being annoying
And to be fair, it's a point
I didn't know where he was going with that
It's something that's so annoying
Where the fuck is he going with that?
He's only had two cups of coffee
Yeah, it is something that I will bring up in this little topic now
Because I know we've had a little conversation here and there about it
Over the last few months with it all going on
But it's come out in the last few days again
That he's still been paid his 70 grand a week
To pay him off after the end of the season
It would still be like 8 million that would have to pay him
And at the end of the day, it's all going to come down to money
I think Ten Hard would have him back in the team
Because
Well, just because you said it's all about money
But everything I've seen on it, it's his attitude as well
Apparently he's got to, as far as you would if he was giving the kids 70 grand the fucking way
Yeah, so that's all going to come out in everything that I'm going to say
So yeah, he's burst on the scene 17
Like Mickey Richards
Yeah, good old maker
Fucking, he definitely was generational talent
Now you think of Messi and Ronaldo back at that age
They were raw talents, but straight away you could see they were going to be fucking up the top
And all felt the same with Greenwood
I know you probably didn't think it was Mosh
I thought he had it, but he didn't want it
Like a young Ronaldo wanted it
For me, he knew he was good, he was happy at that level
But I didn't think he improved
I thought he came in, and I don't think he got better playing
That was the whole team underneath
I'll let it, the whole team fucking sure would
Because he just selected the team
He wasn't a part of training or anything
But being a player like Messi or Ronaldo
Don't elevate, and I think he deflated
He definitely didn't have the same attitude as Ronaldo and Messi
More so Ronaldo to be fair, because Messi has always just been the natural talent
Ronaldo, you heard the stories how he'd spend 2-3 hours after training each day
Still just kicking the ball at the fucking goals and the wall or whatever
So he always worked on it
Whereas most of these young ones don't these days
I know that was something Ronaldo picked up on when he came back to United for his second stint
That he pulled a few of them aside and had a conversation with them
And that did change a lot of their attitudes
But the coaching definitely didn't help the situation
Bruno Fernandes was a fucking revelation when he came in the January transfer window
I know we're talking about Mason Green
We'll get back onto him again
Bruno Fernandes, he's got to be one of the most overrated players ever
I sit up, I watch him
And one game I think, yeah he's alright
Next game, we try a four yard diag
That's just not even worth doing
And he fucking spanners into the crowd
And then when he loses the ball
Arms in the air, just for me
I watch him and I think
I've done right yeah
Him and Neymar, when people say Neymar's a tough one
Is he?
Again, it's the Brazilian in him isn't it
He's got all the skills for the flicks and this and that
But he just wants the camera shots and the glory that way
He's not one that will actually go and put a shift in defensively
And win the team back and this and that
Where Bruno, as much as he is frustrating
And he misplaces and does something stupid
He always gives it fucking everything
He's running back and forth
He's played every minute of every game
Apart from the other day where he did get subbed off a lot 15 minutes ago
But he still wanted to play on that
And that goes to show that it's not always about his talent
The manager knows I need him in the team
Because he's given his fucking heart
For the hard work
We don't want him to be a fucking footballer
Go back onto Mason
So the potential was there I believe
And so the clips come out
There's the pictures of the bruises and whatever
Now I just want to fucking say
I don't condone it
If he did actually abuse or abuse from whatever
Obviously fucking it's a shit house
I was in that situation before a fucking long time ago
Where I was a part of domestic violence
And it's not a fucking clever thing
It's not nice or anything
So I'm not condoning his actions
We don't know what actually happened
This is the thing because now
The woman that was accusing him of all this
Is now pregnant with his child
They're getting married every day so it's far as I know
He just seems like a classic Jeremy Kyle
Break up, make up, break up
Like a toxic, you know just like your traditional toxic
And they're both young as well
The money's there at the feet
So they're going to have these fucking ups and downs
I don't know if she was trying to be an Instagram model
Or influencer or something
So it's her trying to keep up appearances
Well make a name off herself from him
Yeah and straight away when it all come out
It was her dad that was turning around and saying
Oh the phone's got hacked
And it shouldn't have been leaked
Because there's another player
Allegedly that plays for Arsenal
That's going for a similar thing at the moment
But he's a first team as far as we know
We don't know who it is
It's all been kept out of the public
What do you think it is?
I don't know to be fair
Because I've not heard too much about it
Because it's actually fucking going through the procedures properly
It's all being kept on the wraps
Obviously if he does get found that he's guilty
Arsenal are going to have a big fucking case against him
Why did you still let this player go ahead and that?
Yeah so without knowing the full story
You can't fucking give any fucking
Damn him
Oh no he's a cunt and fucking this and that
I think we need him to give a statement
Yeah apologising whatever
Because he's going to have to
He needs to give a bit of an interview
And say what actually happened
The pair of them do
Yeah like a hated interview
Just get it all out there
Yeah not the way that fucking Harry and fucking Megan did
It doesn't have to be on Oprah
Or you know props with fucking Piers Morgan
But you don't like Piers Morgan?
I know some of the things he comes out with
But I wouldn't want to go for a beer with him
I wouldn't
I don't want to
Yeah you don't drink Tito so
We won't go for that
Yeah I think
All these United fans
They are actually moaning
I'm going to never watch United again
If he puts his shirt back on blah blah
They won't be saying any of that
When he's bagged in fucking 24 goals
If it starts coming good
Yeah and he scores a fucking
An FA Cup final winning goal or something like that
It will soon be forgotten
Okay yeah
And what about the women's team
Because I've heard that they're not too keen on him rejoining
Again because we don't know exactly what's happened
We can't let them dictate whether he comes back or not
In life you need some silver room and guilty
And he hasn't dropped
And obviously
CPS obviously have looked at him and thought
There's not enough to hold this now
Especially with her being pregnant again
By pregnant sorry not again
Again because there's that many kinks and this and that these days
We don't know if that was a part of some sort of game
But as always you always do hear the negative side of it
Yeah
She might have been attacking him from time to time
We don't know
Then obviously the video fucking clip that came out and the pictures
To be fair I think the pictures of her bruising
Is a bit bullshit anyway
Because I myself I'll fucking
I'll get a bruise
The wife bruises fucking really easy
There's no way to prove that that came from that scenario
Yeah so
I think that's one of the reasons why it was washed away anyway
Then the recording
It seemed to be staged
For me everyone obviously
Use my thing different
No mate
Yeah because when you see it as well
It's like a 12 minute recording
It starts from not the 9th minute
We don't know what's going on before
You know I don't know
Fucking it might have been fucking
You know genuine but
I just feel there's a lot that hasn't been put out there
And so it just needs to fucking
Just add the interview or fucking
You know release something so people can see what's going on there
And just get over it
And that's why I say all comes down to money really
If ever all not you'll actually play for United again
It will save them lower money playing
Because you would assume if he was to join the team
He would go straight up front now
Yeah he
And he'll save them 70, 80 million
I mean there's still
Still a lot of fucking pain
100 million for a third
He will be 30 years old at that point
Harry Kane
It will think he's fucking overrated
Now don't get me wrong obviously he is a world class striker
But 100 million with one year left on his contract
Touching 30
As he's still got another 4 or 5 years left in him
I don't know
I don't see him as good as 11th Oscar
You don't think he'll adapt?
No
And in his Tottenham role
He plays more as a number 10 anyway
He drops too deep in this and that
Well don't you think that will help Rashford and Sancho
Or Everest playing on the wing then drop in
More forward positions
I don't know
I mean he's been injury free for the last 2 or 3 seasons
Which has definitely helped
Because he was like every fucking couple of them
His ankles
Yeah so
I think that would be
It would be good enough
But
Not for the generation
And for 100 million
If it was all 50, 60 million
Yes signed
But 100 million no
I don't think no player's worth 100 million
Of course not
But as you just said
With a year left
Touching 30
You're never going to regain
Yeah unless you're winning all the trophies
You're not going to make that money back
Because you're not going to get a sound thing
And you don't think he's going to sell the shirts
I don't think he would really
He's not a worldwide name
There's only a few players that can do that
Yeah
And then there's this Osherman
I think they're putting a £150 million price tag on him
And that's only after one good season as well
Yeah
And then there was that Ramatsu
Plays for Portugal as well
He's had a good enough season
I think for Benfica
But again the same like 120 million
I just think anytime an English team comes in
In flight
Well definitely when it comes to Man United
I mean who else would have paid 80 million for Harry Maguire
All fucking 50 period
There's someone that wins so many headers
I can't believe he's got a handful of goals
Or even
Not that I fucking love watching England fucking these days
But I saw him have a free header the other day
And he just fucking spammed it
Mate he was unmarked
Fucking won the header
And he didn't even get it on target man
Do you think he's dies?
He will
Because he's not going to fucking go anywhere else
Take a bite reduction
And fucking
Be the number one starter
I think he's just fucking happy enough to earn
200 odd grand a week
To be the third choice fucking defender
In football when do you earn enough
It starts becoming a bad career
So you think about it
It must have been on a decent wire gelester
You would say probably touching 70 to 100k
I don't think he was on that at Leicester
Well then I know when he's at Man United
100 odd
I think he's on about 200 a week
He's had that for three years now
Yeah three seasons so far
I don't know
But he could go to any other team in Europe
And play 100k
It's still beyond top
I mean he could go to fucking the locks of Everton
Be the fucking star center back there
And then still get probably 120 grand a week from them
I don't know anyone that's moved to Everton
And become better
But he's not fucking
Yeah he is
But obviously you still gotta have a future plan
I think he's just gonna Phil Jones
He's just gonna sit there
Earn his money
And then just play around again
Robbery
I think I'm gonna Phil Jones
You probably are
But can you blame him though
He's got half of the fucking
Is he 120k?
I think he gets 70 to 80 grand a week
Just to try
He can't even try no
Most of the time he can
Just he keeps that medical staff in fucking there
He's got that same mentality as the dickheads that drop later in the straight
Well he gives a fucking never pick a good job doesn't he
But yeah I think he's just gonna be happy to fucking sit there
I know that we've gotta try and keep the
The squad and that
Because there'll be a few other players that go
Well wouldn't you just rather give it to an up and coming player
I would
Yeah
I'd have to
Unless the wage
Yeah well it's just been a shambles fucking
But the whole time the guys have been in charge
You know fucking Suarez from Arsenal
Just to fucking
No Sanchez wasn't in charge
Oh yeah yeah yeah
That just didn't work did it
Well it didn't work and they threw all the fucking money at him
Just so man C wouldn't get
That was like nearly 400 grand a week
And again played with injuries
Fucking handful of games
And he just didn't want to be there
Fucking ridiculous
Yeah
They've just not done a good job
That's why I can't wait
For the fucking sale to just be done
I think the fucking Qataris are gonna be the best choice
Because they're gonna clear all the debts and fucking
Either build or
Yeah restructure our traffic in the training
Well yeah they've already said about the training
The grounds, the women's team
They're gonna throw everything
Basically what Man City have done with their one
Because that is really
Well
You don't
108
Charges against them
You're telling me not one of them is gonna be fucking
You know
108
You know it's like
You know sometimes we're gonna bend these rules
Right I'll get it
Fucking I can't wait
Because
Not trolling or saying fucking greedy
But I think that's why the Qataris are the best
Because they've got
They can just throw it all out
I don't know if the financial pair have got to do it the right way but
They'll fucking take Qatari Airways from Man City sponsorship
And put it on the fucking United fucking top, won't they?
A billion pound contract
Fucking sponsorship deal for four years
Isn't it? Good boy
I thought it was Qatari Airways
I'm sure it's Abu Dhabi
I've never heard of it
It's different
It's different countries
Right
Mason Greenwood, you're getting your tea
He would
And do you reckon he will
End up in the team next season?
Yeah
Let it all blow over
The league blow over
That's what it won't be this season
Yeah so
Because there was a few championship and lower league teams that wanted to take him on loan
There was definitely a few Turkish teams
Of Fenerbahce and that that wanted him for the rest of the season
But I think they've said no to try and keep him out of the long run
It will be to let it blow over
Pre-season style again
Yeah pre-season, comes back into training
Gets into the squad
It's going to save him at least 100 million
Because we need two strikers
We didn't replace Kovano
We didn't replace fucking Ronaldo
Waves as much as a log in is not good enough
And he's technically only been a Marshal fucking replacement
Because he's fucking had a lot of 90 minutes the whole season
So we need at least two strikers
So if Mason does come back playing that saves one
So we wouldn't have to spend 200 million on two strikers
And there's a couple of other lads out there that
Have been quoted of 50-60 million and that
They're young lads
They're all fucking early 20s
But they've still got the room to grow
And the way Ten Haggs turned the team around
I think he can do
To start the season they were all about selling one for Zaka
Not good enough this and that
And the low is fucking flapping it these days
Because he had his injury unfortunately
And one of Zaka's fucking played him off the park
I've always worried one of Zaka
I have
When he goes in that attacking position
So where he's on the edge of the opponent's box
For me he just don't know what to do
And always passes back
So it doesn't help because it's
He gets so far forward and then panics
And one drive there
The few times when he actually has pinged the ball
There have been great crosses
Now it doesn't help because
More so before this season anyway
It's not been as bad this season
You'd see the other players not wanting to pass him the ball
So he didn't really have the chance
Enough times to look
I've got the ball on my feet, head up, ping the crossing
And that's, I think that's what didn't help
Because he's panicking when he does get it
He's like shit I've got a chance now then
And he wouldn't do nothing
But defensively fucking
I'd say he was arguably the best
Before last season
Arguably the best ride back defensively
In the league
You know attacking wise he's definitely improved
And that's 10-1 again
It all stems back to fucking
I don't see why these players these days
Just do the two hour training session each day
If we was getting paid fucking
Essentially anything more than what we're already on
Before we were getting paid 200k a week
You're doing more than just an hour a day training
One fucking hour a day
Or even just the technical side
I'd fucking stand there with a bag of 50 balls next to me
And I'd be pinging them in
Fucking crosses, penalties, free kicks
You'd be doing a lot
And that's the thing I never understood with footballers
Because you go there
You have your breakfast
Perfect breakfast
You train, you eat after
You have your smoothies
At the right time giving to you
Proling shakes to build the muscle or cutting
It's the proper side
Nutritionists there
There's everything there for you to be the best version of yourself
And all you're asking
Is that a behind
If you're a free kick taker
And not even asking that
The players should be fucking doing it at their own back
You've got families and stuff
But during the day
While your kids are at school
And your wife should be working even though she's probably just spending your money
You don't need to be at home the rest of the day
And plus like
Even if you are there 10 hours, 12 hours
It's your job
You're getting paid so much
To just
Right
And you would go as a new team
Yeah, I think he would
He's got the potential to be
He's always going to
Troll now to be
As big of a name as
Anywhere, Lord Ronaldo and that
But I think he's got the potential to have the talent to be
Almost as good
But yeah, he walks right back in
As I say, when it comes to
A final
FA Cup or whatever
And he's banging 24
Fucking goals in in the season
He'll score a goal and everyone
Will soon fucking forget about it
They'll be like, yes he's fucking done it
And that's it, it'll fucking come to me
Well moving on from one alleged right piece
To another
Andrew Tai
Yeah
Been released
In with his brother Tristan
Now
When I do their first live
I think they're on house arrest
First live stream
It's going to go off
Yeah, I don't think I'll be able to watch it
I'll have to be fair because it'll just fucking keep cracking
Literally, I think it will break the internet
I think this will have
The most streams that anything
Has ever had
And I saw the video I'll just show you before the podcast
He's looking big
He's definitely beat up
Looking big
You know
I
Looked back at Andrew Tai
Thinking
A year ago
He was just popping up on
Your TikTok
And you watch him and you think
You don't want to say too much
Because you know
Well we've not done anything
I don't think to get cancelled yet
There's still time
Not everything that he said is right
It's all
I think he went up
He had
An old fashioned
View on things
And that's something that I didn't pop up with
The Greenwood thing
We'll pause that one for a sec
One point that I did want to make
Is that tones are different these days
How many footballers that we don't know about
Used to always beat the wards back at home
And knew them at affairs
I mean Mr. Still Your Girl
John Terry
He'd fucking give a few of them a slap
I'm not saying that
I haven't got fucking evidence
You know
You know for a fact
Fucking
Vinnie Jones must have slapped his fucking
Mrs. O'Byrne a few times
I think sometimes you're disconnecting
The player from the man
Nah he's fucking
He's a gay as a fuck
He fucking
Again Roy King
He's an old Irish man
He's fucking giving his wife a shot
One or two times
Fucking definitely
I think so
I am fucking going on a tangent
I grew up in a fucking
In that old fashioned way
Where my mum got a slap and I got a slap
For no reason my sister did
So I think because tones are different
It is frowned upon as well
Not fucking saying it's the wrong thing to do
Even though my mrs could fucking definitely
Do with a slap sometimes
It's just
It's an old fashioned way
You never used to hear about any of that
And it would have happened
But we don't know about it
And obviously tones are changing
No it's not all good
You know
He used to
Say stuff
And I used to agree with it
And then I used to read the comments
And I'd be like
He's misogynist
Word meant
Empowering men
And I'm like
Why is that a bad thing
Why is that such a bad thing
For man
To want to be
Yeah I think it's so
Fucking contradicting
You see all these women on these other
Podcasts and that
That are like yeah I've got more sugar daddy
Or don't work in a place where everything is
So
All these women that expect everything to be
Fucking done for them
Or I want this I've got it
Yet he expressed his
Views and a lot of it was
Fucking piss taking because he went on someone else
His podcast and look
Or fucking it's a persona
People are fucking taking it serious
When they don't need to
But people are taking it serious
For a reason because the power
Of the man has been
Stripped down you know women always
Wanted to equal rights and fucking
They've got it and they don't like it
The one thing he said
And I was like
Right
Maybe
He's onto something
Is when Russia
Incredited Ukraine
And all the women
Was allowed to leave and the kids
And he was he said
Where was the feminist then saying
No
Let the men leave
And let the girls die
Or sunk along those lines
Where oh you want to be
A feminist but when there's a war on
You're not
Now I'm not talking about all this stuff
Because it just leads
Down to a silent
Path
But I'm happy he's released
I'm happy to see what he's got to say
But this is going to blow up
Like this is just the beginning now
He's got the top
Beard on the go
He definitely needs a haircut
He looks strange
He looks like a little bit of a hair on
But he looks jihadi tight
He looks
Jacked
He looked like he's put on
I can only imagine
What he was doing in there though in the cell
Press ups
He's definitely eaten well
And that's all he's done
He says I've been locked up
In one room this whole time
So that's it and he's been there
Doing as much training
That he can in that room
There's got to be something for them to be released
Because if they've got so much
You don't get released
You stay in
You get your sentence and you're locked up
I don't know why it's
Trapped on as long as it has really
It's three months isn't it
Straight away the girls that were being
Alleged as
Human trafficking and being raped
We live a great life
With him
It's all a fun social thing
We have a drink and whatever
Straight away that should have been locked up
Let's let him out then
Because one of the things that his brood does
He manages only fans
Yeah
In terms of sex trafficking
That's where that's coming into it
In terms of
But
Again
We live in a world where
Girls can make, well women can make
Fantastic money
And then
I've even thought about
Making a fake
Count and selling socks on that
Myself because the money that you see
Some people will buy my own socks
There's one guy that I can't remember his name
Makes thousands a week selling his
New socks
Yeah
I'm not getting to me
I'd fucking happily wear some fucking fongs
And that and fucking say
20 quid for that
I've seen that on podcasts the money that they get off
Just to send a smelly sock
In a fucking
Ponging fucking farm
It's crazy
As I said before with the only fans
I've seen only fan girls
On podcasts because they've only got as I said
The two questions, what's your best month, what's your honor
And it's like
It's not like
I deserve it, you know I've worked hard
You haven't, you've went to the gym
You've went to the gym, you've turned up
A lot of them don't even do that though
You don't have to
Everyone's got their own cup of tea
Of course
One made me laugh
The one's that she's about 50 year old
On TikTok doing TikTok's lives
And like
I'm thinking if this woman can do it
And she's earning money
Fuck me, I should give her the girls, right?
I know
I know we would be able to fucking do it
To be fair
I don't know if you have to
I saw one
I think it was on
The Tom Segura's podcast
Your Mums House that he does with his wife
They have all sorts of weird videos in there
Anyway
It was a fucking geezer
A man not too dissimilar
Of a look to myself
A bit of fucking white on
Hair, big beards
And he's in the shower with his little fucking
Speedo on
I'm sure it was like a
It must have been American
Because you know they have like a gallon bottle of milk
Where it's a big container
And he's opening it up and he's drinking it
And then he's pouring it over his head
And he's massaging it through his hairy chest
And rubbing it on his belly and that
And then fucking, you start rubbing it
And then he's going to dick with it
In his speedo still
Obviously this man is fucking
Going to be making money
They didn't say how much he's earning or whatever
It's just a random click that they've found
Because it's got leaked or something
So yeah there's a market out there
For all sorts of people
I think it would be something we do for the Patreon
When we create that one
I think it's just something that once you go down that route
You have to commit to it and it would be hard to go back
To a regular job, especially if you're a female
You have to make that work then
I don't know I think it's easier for the females still isn't it
To leave it
Yeah because that's Mia Cleaver didn't she
But she was a porn star before
Yeah and now she's not
She's not a porn star?
No she's done like 6 months of it
Yeah but what I'm saying like your average girl
So like the girl
Your average girl next door
Doing it and then thinking
I've done it for you
So you're saying I've got a house now
You know I don't want to keep doing it
Then it would be hard then
To go back to a regular job
I think it just depends on how popular they are really
Because a lot of them
It's always there
Whether you're getting paid for it or not
There's pictures and videos of pretty much everyone out there
Now isn't there
I don't think there's any of me
So don't try and fucking google it people
Yeah I think
We'll have to leave it at that now
That's been fucking
Anything about
I was going to say anything about
Smoosh before we go you know
Fuck them I don't care
The fish are dead
So
As always don't forget to
Like, subscribe and all that jazz
The Real Talking Podcast at gmail.com
Any emails anything you want to talk about
We'll still wait for the first one
To actually send us something
I think we'll have to make a big thing where
Someone does actually email
Even if it's just like
Hi get them on the phone
Yeah yeah we'll try and do that
If it's within the means of
Cheap enough fucking
Hostage of a special present or something
We'll fire in the fucking jar or something for ya
Where you got that bottle of Jamesons
No no no that way
Fucking drank that
You got the frisbee
Or the bottle of wine
Or the fucking
But if you email and fucking say anyway
We'll have a look
So yeah I think it's been a pleasure
Yeah call that a pod
Bye