Ash and JD, they're the hosts, talking real, they're not like most
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What's happening everyone and welcome to another episode of the real talking podcast
We're your hosts, Ash and JD
Now I know some of you might be thinking, but yeah, they've been consistent the last month
What's happening?
Well, we did say before we are trying, we do try
And yeah, we're back again
And we will, for a change, get back onto, well straight onto rather
The correspondence, cause we've been threatening to do it, we have
Do you remember the times when we had no correspondence?
Yeah, early days
How many episodes in was it before we had, was it Danny J?
Danny J, yeah
I don't know, probably like 12 or something
It was a world, yeah, it was a world
I remember when you told me that we've actually got a message for the first song
Yeah, he was the original James Werner
Yeah, just another lad chatting shit
I wonder what ever happened to him
He must still be listening
Maybe, have you seen their views on YouTube?
Not for a little while
One of them's got like 22 views, I know it's not good, but obviously
But again, cause we haven't done a video record for a long time as well, have we?
So yeah, if people are still listening on YouTube, it's not
Obviously yeah, if you didn't know, you can listen to us on the YouTubes
I mean I'll do it sometimes myself with podcasts, just back them on the YouTube
And just plod along listening to them
To be fair, I know I've said about it before, cause my signal's terrible by the morning
And it literally is, from half eight to about half five, half six, something like that
During the day, I'm sure I'm positive and convinced
That they're fucking pressing a switch
And it's the same spots around
Cause it's not even like where the overhead electric lines are
I don't understand if I was underneath that or within like 20 metre radius
That the electric's gonna be fucking messing with your phone signal
But it's not, it's the same spots, as soon as I get into the park
On and off there, and then fucking one end, this end, fucking up body asda and that
And it just fucking does, Mary
One you are
It really fucking does
So I've got several podcasts already downloaded on the YouTubes, on my phone
Ready to listen through to
And then I've already got a backup of music downloaded on YouTube Music
Just in case
It's just so annoying
I just wanna be dissociated with the outside world
I can't raw dog it, just fucking walking around, listening to nature
Plus, I even did it earlier
When I left you brothers before coming to where I did quickly nip into the woods
And there was the EE geyser trying to fucking plug the broadband
And he's looked at me, I've got my headphones on
And I'm just fucking, I'm looking at them escalators, I'm just fucking shadow
And as I've got up there, there was some other one, the British Legion
And he's fucking wave right in my face, I was like, mate, I already fucking don't eye every moment
Oh, I know this one
And I carried on walking, and as I'm coming back
The same geyser with EE, he's fucking, he's literally waving, he's still right in front of me
You alright, mate?
I was like, not today bud, I'm not interested
But I do need better internet, because Virgin, I still have dramas, again, I'm over the stuff
We will get on to the correspondence, I've just fucking got myself into a ranting mode or not
Yeah, it's just ridiculous, but I can't have a shit be connected to fucking Walford, four metres away from the hub
It's just stupid
No, it's not mine
No, fucking Virgin, shit
The internet company, we're not getting back onto the topic of last week's
To be fair, correspondent-related, there was a couple of the WhatsApps and that
They were quite interested in our views on today's societies
Should we jump into them ones first then?
Well, it was just literally just a couple of people, that was a good listen, looking
Yeah, loved the topic and that
There was some, I don't even know what we spoke about before, but there was messages about that one
We probably should put a bit more prep into some things, I don't know, different topics maybe
Maybe, I mean, I know last week's one was a bit different, wasn't it, in terms of what we spoke about and how we spoke about it, I suppose
Yeah, and I think we did do well, me in particular, to be relatively PC about it all as well
Yeah, and obviously you've got to have the jokes with you, but then you've got to have that seriousness, you've got to have that balance, mate
Well, yeah, I mean, because I won't get it too into depth about it, but even after the pods, when I was back home
I sent you something and then I'll give my natural reaction to it
I just think it's going to be funny, as my little lad does grow up, I will be a bit old school, but boy, don't be like that
Just give him a slap, stop being that
Yeah, it's good to know that people are appreciating the content
It can't have validated, doesn't it, sometimes, and it is always nice to get validation
But if there's anything that you lovely people see, I don't know, any surveys or anything that you see and you think
I want to hear your opinions on it or just topics in general, doesn't have to be a survey
Then yeah, dude, let us know, links are always in the description
Realtalknpod at gmail.com
The hotline, it has been a long time since it was ready, I don't know, so 07470
Also, while Jadie's doing that, shout out to anyone who tried to call the hotline
Hopefully, it wasn't just a cold call and he was an avid listener, wanting to hear more from Jadie
Hopefully it was, if the hotline had credit on it, then I would give you a call back
But otherwise, if you want to call back again, I will have the phone switched on this time, or maybe
Yeah, I was close, well, I got the first bit wrong, so 07470, 488096, hotline number, ex twitter, at Ash and JD
You know, it's all there, again, I haven't even been on the Twitter for ages, we could have a load of fucking messages on there
Apologies if you have gone onto the Twitter and dropped us a fucking message or two
I mean, surely I should have an email saying I got a message?
No, I think you have to turn that on and notification off
You know what, I should probably have a look at that, it probably won't even load up really
I can't, there's all the prep on this podcast
It would be interesting if we do have messages now, but at this point, if we don't now
I don't know, yeah, it's not going to log in, because I haven't been on it in that long
I think I'm going to have to do it properly when I've got more time
But yeah, we shall get into the correspondence
There was a question from Dean, and he's asked, there's a hundred cocks on the wall
How many are you joking on?
None
So you're not going to choke on any of the cocks because you've got that much of a...
Gag ween makes for tolerance
Just straight down
That's a proper question
So I think the only answer is we won't be sucking any of them
None of them would be going in our mouths to have the chance of either choking or enjoying it
But yeah, that was appreciated, that was Dean
Yeah, thanks, Dean
We should try to gag
So getting onto it, Lauren wanted the gossip last week, didn't she?
So it was going back to the wife's friend's secret relationship
Oh yes, yes, yes
And there was potential drama in the making because his ex constantly fucking wanting favours
And then they don't want it public in the workspace and whatever
And she wanted the gossip, I didn't care to ask originally
I did ask in the end since she wanted to know
Basically nothing's happened
They've had a little bit of a chat, they're still together and they're not going public with it
So yeah, unfortunately there is not enough to report, but hopefully it was worth the wait for Lauren
Well you did build the suspense, though
Yeah, potential happy ever after
But I don't know, it can be
Because even my missus didn't know about it until a couple of weeks ago really
So if you're not going to tell people, what's the point? Why have a secret?
Because it doesn't seem fair if it's just all in secret
I thought she was a lesbian as well, to be fair
I've only met her once
Why was she giving you those feels, mate?
Because I knew she didn't have a fella and I just assumed
Well, I was under the impression she didn't have a fella
And yeah, I just assumed then that she was gay
Not that there's anything wrong with it, but yeah, just felt that way
So yeah, fair play as well
I mean she might have swung both ways, I don't know, I haven't asked that question
Lauren, I might ask that question
It just depends
There's a lot of stuff going on when I get back home in a bit
So, whether I have enough time
I've got to sink ten cans of lager or something as well
So there's a lot to try and squeeze into, not
I am dying for a beer, to be fair
Been a long week, you know
I've only been doing stuff at your brothers as well
Weird
So yeah, that was the goss there
We got asked this the other week as well
So V said they got a bad tattoo the other day
And it's only now that it started healing that it can see the poor quality
So they were asking our boys, do we think they should complain or go straight to having it removed?
I mean if you complain, I don't know what the outcome would be because they can't make it any better
So I would just, if you're not happy with it, I would just go and remove it
Because it just, and you're supposed to let it sit and fade a little bit before, like a few years before you can have it removed
Otherwise it takes longer, I'm sure it takes more sitting and stuff like that
Yeah, I don't know to be honest because I've never looked into it
It's hard for me because I haven't got tassos
I've always wanted them, but for that reason I've never had one just that fear of it not being to the quality that I expect
Well you've got a few tattoos, haven't you?
Yeah, I'd lean more onto the complaint and then if it's not, if they can't fix it
Because obviously it depends on what it is, if it's just that lines aren't straight enough
Or out of the region lines and they can be straightened up and more shadowed and stuff
So if they can't fix it, then probably have a look at a cover up of sorts because again it depends on how big it is as well
But then wouldn't have the same tattoo artist, might be go to the same shop
Yeah, you'd have to go to the same shop
But yeah, wouldn't have the same gaze at or purse
Tattoo artist
What I'm going to say is though, when you go into there, don't they sketch it on beforehand anyway?
Yeah, so you do have the sketch and then it's transferred onto a blue line or one of that
But still, it just depends on the artist because it's whether they've done the sketch
Because I've done it myself where I've taken in a picture and then it's been copied and pasted essentially
Even with my brother's first tattoo
Because when I was in college, a lot of the time I'd be fucking, because I knew what I was doing, I'd just be sketching
And yeah, that was fucking his first tattoo
I'd give it to the shop and they'd just fucking literally copy it over it and then fucking whack it onto his arm
So yeah, if it's something that they've taken
Because you can print it off onto the trace paper essentially, roll the ink on it and whack it on
So yeah, the stencil could have been perfect, but if they're not, it depends on the body types and stuff as well
And I suppose where it is on the body as well
Yeah, because if you're not stretching the skin enough or if you're stretching it too much as it compresses back or stretches back
It can look a bit funny
I think just outside of that situation, complain and then see if you can get it rectified or covered up or something
But the future ones, again, depending on what style and stuff, you have to do a lot of research into a tattoo
Yeah, I was gonna say, I think you have to get that right person that does that
Because there's loads of different artists that do different, there's ones that do more specialities when it comes to the face
Like the more the anime side, so yeah, depends on what you've got and where it is on your body
But I suppose yeah, maybe complain, see with the side and then see if you can get it covered up
Hopefully it's not too in your face in terms of where it is so you see it can't look
Yeah, but there is a lot of people out there that love having a shit tattoo
So they'll have like fucking banana and fucking the OG smiley face and a little shitty Sonic or something
So depending on what ease you had, whether you could go down that route and just start ruining the rest of your body that way
I remember when Davy Backham got his sleeve tattooed and I remember going to the tattoo shop
And he kind of like drew it on my arm, not a pen and such, but like he put it on my arm of what we were speaking about
And I was like yeah, I was like, we've got to, because this was when I was in Wales, we've got to go back
But I'll come up, I took his number and I'm glad I didn't have it done because now everyone's got a sleeve tattoo
Well it's a lot the hand tattoo, the line or the roses
The face and stuff, the amount of those, the stopwatch, the rose
Yeah, it's all the same now
It's hard to be original with a lot of these tattoos now
I mean, again, I'd love to get more done to be fair, but it's just getting round to it really
What would you want done?
Well, for a long time I've wanted to have a lot of the power ranges and stuff
Again, getting some of the Pokemon ones because I've seen some good artists that can do the Pokemon tattoos
I do like, I don't know what the store is called in terms, you know when you have loads of little tattoos
It's not a sleeve, but you have loads of
Yeah, so it's like a compilation of different ones
Because that was one that I wanted on one of my legs was essentially hexagons
So like a beehive, you know, if you cut into that and you see the hexagon shape fucking going around
So I wanted that and then, so say like a Pokemon in one, Goku or something
And another one and you can fucking bang them around
Because with that you can always add another one on
You can keep going as far as you want and just keep the pattern going
Because I haven't seen anyone with that and I thought that was unique in a sense
But again, I just never got around to getting on to that to be fair
But in terms of, should we, we think you should go and complain?
Yeah, complain initially
Obviously don't go in all guns blazing because you want to get it reckoned with
Yeah, you don't want to annoy, but yeah
Again, because a lot of them are sound and then it's their reputation as well
Because if you're not happy with it and you was to, you know, on the social media sort of things complain about it and say
This is what I've had from this artist and it's ruining their future customers and stuff
So, you know, just be a bit savvy with it
And then, I mean, obviously that has been a couple of weeks since that message was sent
So hopefully it is looking a little bit better now
Yeah, if you have done anything badly, who's ever done that actually?
Yeah, it should be fully healed by now
Because I've found that with mine, I don't know if it's my skin type or something
But you can feel like the skin raised on the actual tattoo itself
Okay
And then the one on my leg, my left fucking calf log
Always got a lot of ingrown hairs in it, I don't know what
Amici loves it man, fucking, obviously because it's just a hairy leg anyway
She'll fucking go get the tweezers and fucking pull the hair out
Yeah
Always fucking hurts, like if you do it yourself, fine, you get the little steam
It's a dig in, don't it?
Yeah, fucking just gets rotting, I'm like, you just gotta pull the hair
And then the little bit of pus just fucking just push it out, nah, fucking, oh, could have got it
So it bleeds?
Yeah, I'm like, leave the root, it's fine, it's a hair follicle
But, you know, for some reason it's just fucking gone in
I don't want plastic surgery, I just wanna
Fucking leave it, fucking these bitches, man
So, yeah
Do I wanna, yeah, I'll get out of the way with that
Mate, he bites you every week, don't fall for it, honestly, he bites you every week
I know who you, James, stop doing it to him, you're upsetting my mind
Nah, to be fair, look, you know, it's, it is a bit more of a banter one this one
So, this is at least the season's over now that we've secured the prem
To be fair, they have, Arsenal have fucking really, really, really, really
Because you've got no faith in anyone else
But we'll say this though, he did say at the beginning of the season that they're winning
We were like, nah, nah, we were like, they're, they're, and they have won it in March, so to speak
Yeah
I don't know, technically, but they're as good as, yeah
They have, because I think it's 13 points, or maybe even more of a gap
I think it is 13 points because Arsenal drew it in though
Yeah, because I think it was 11 before the midweek games
So, yeah, they'd have to lose five games and Arsenal still win every game
And it ain't gonna happen, is it? So, yeah, congrats on that, mate
Be interesting next season, I know we've said it a couple of times already, but
You know, is Salah gonna stay, Van Dijk, is he gonna fucking extend as well?
Trent, is he gonna go to Madrid?
And then if those players go, what replacement's gonna come in?
So, next season will be interesting
But yeah, he says that I just need to worry about the packed lunches at Old Trafford
He's not, yeah, he's not lying
No, I'm not gonna worry about it, it is a frustrating topic to be fair
With all the bullshit that's going on
It's just a nuisance because it's the little people that are losing out
You know, these people that have been made redundant
Another 200 this week
And then, you know, all the leagues coming out where it's soup and sandwiches in the canteen
It's only the first team, not even all of the coaching staff is allowed to have a proper meal
Which is fucking stupid
It's sad, the state of the club at the moment, it's just ridiculous
And the fact that it's still the Glazers that are doing it
Even though it's in the us that are fucking fronting it and showing face for it
They can't do all the decisions without the Glazers saying, yeah, go ahead with that
So it's just frustrating, you know, we needed a full sale, I said it at the time
It didn't have to be Qatar, but yeah, it's just, it's so fucking bad
And I'm a little bit gutted really, we could have done with getting relegated
I know it's still mathematically is possible
But, you know, if we got relegated, that's more money that the club's gonna lose
So it would force Ineos and the Glazers to sell essentially
So someone could buy with money and then basically
Yeah, do all the right things
Because it's just debt, money down the drain
And then letting people off that are on minimum wage, 40 grand maximum a year
They're saving like 8 million
Whereas fucking, you know, Mason Mount's been paid like 18 million to play 11 games being halted
Fucking Luke Shaw, you know, God knows how much he's been paid to fucking be injured over his whole time and fucking being halted
You know, it's just fucking money wasted
Yeah
I know Marcus Rashford has said that he wants to pledge his future to Aston Villa, which I think that's laughable
Yeah, is that, well, we'll see what happens
Yeah, I think he's only coming out with that at the moment just to try and keep the Villa fans onside for him
I find it strange how they're all, I don't know if he's all the Villa fans
But the majority that I'm hearing from and seeing online and that, they love him and they want him to stay
Just hold on the rest of the season
Just see what comes out of it because he didn't do much the other day
Didn't start on the bench, come on, didn't fucking change anything
Yeah, we've got the two assists again before, but we're all wanting to perform now
Because it means we can get, you know, 30, 40 million for him
All the Chelsea fans, I mean, that was your pick at the start of the season
Yeah
And they're not doing well now, but I know they had a good win the other day
Yeah, overall, yeah, the past few weeks they fell off the mat
Yeah, they were in a title race and then they just dropped off of it
They were on top of the league for fucking one week, weren't they?
Yeah, early doors as there was, wasn't there?
Yeah, and then it just went downhill
But they're all fucking gutted now, they thought Sancho was the saviour
And then it's just gone back to it again
Because we've, Marcus Rashford's fucking tweeted the other week
And then, I don't even know what he tweeted, but then Sancho put freedom
And then there was all the Chelsea fans like, fucking, why are you bothered about your mate?
Or fucking, you ain't even doing anything here, you're dickhead and whatever
It's just so fucking funny
It just goes to show and it like, you can over-hypes, don't get me wrong, they're both talented players
But you can, the players can get over-hyped and you give them such a like, rediculous contract
That it would go, I'm not saying it would go to my head, but certain people act different
If you give someone a friend away, you know what I mean?
Yeah, I think that's why it should, again I don't know if we have said this before
But it should go to, in the contracts, that it's like, you get this money if you perform, if you hit your targets
So if they were getting paid per year instead of per week, or even per month
So if they run 200 grand a week, you'll earn that 200 grand
So 800 or a million a month, you'll learn that if you hit these targets
If you've played X amount of minutes, you fucking, you know
You just hit silent cry series
So if you've hit those stats, then you're gonna get that million a month
Or we'd have running stats put in, so you've gotta run so far and sprint so much
You know, like the match where it's got your average running time
Because that's what you wanna see, really
It's like, the crossing one, they're just fucking crossing into the cycle
It's like you're crossing from your own box
Well yeah, so that's what you have to be, you have to be stat-based where you've created, not necessarily assisted
But you've created a chance
So literally performance-based contracts
Because again, there's still the talks of fucking people wanting Pogba back at United
But it's not worked any of the other times, it didn't work at fucking Juventus when he went back there as well
And then he still can't come back until after the international break
Then he hasn't paid for fucking nearly two years, so he'd have to train
And the Premier League's too fast for him
He was injured most of the time, he was at United with his second stint
Injured back in the fucking Italian League again
And look, what's the point?
And he would want good money to come back
It's not like he'd accept 30 grand pay-per-play corner contract
He'd want big money
So he'd have to go to the Lord of the Saudi team and that
But again, that's not gonna be this season
Because they've already got their road to fucking foreign players
And then is a club gonna give the
Well, put a punt on him and expect him to fucking help perform and stay fit?
I don't think anyone would want to touch him these days, no
It's mad
The amount of people that I see giving praise and like, on his day this and that
How many days did he have though?
It's just loads of players
Jared Bowen on his day looks like a fucking world-class player
But you're never gonna class him as that
He's a fantastic player, but they're not gonna order
So why would he have done it with fucking Paul Pogba?
He overhauled for France as well, I thought
If it weren't for fucking Canarte and some of the players around him
He wouldn't be fucking holding a fucking world cup, that order
It's just ridiculous
But you know, a fair play to him
He was another player that built his name, built a brand and all that
Yeah, he'd done well out of it
Not well enough to not get a ban and fucking stay fit and that
But you know, that's what happens, that's what we say
Don't do drugs, you've got to keep it real
Fucking don't do those fucking
I don't know how they can fucking have that mistake in them
To have whatever substance
Surely your team around you know what illegal substances are
And then the tests are done all the time, randomly and that as well
If there's something in it, a supplement of sorts that's gonna stay in your system
For longer than fucking a couple of hours
Don't even fucking risk taking it
It's just fucking
But you know, surely you should have learned his lesson by now
But we'll see
Yeah James, thanks for that mate
Just roll on next season
Champions League, do you think they'll have it? Liverpool?
Ooh, I'm not sure
I think now's the best opportunity to
Because Prem's in the bag
Yeah, they can go full back for it
Yeah, so
I don't know, but people turn up there now
Like, round with you, fine uni
They turn up there now at these final stages
Yeah, I feel like they've got an easier side of the drawer as well
Because is it PSV they've got in the next round?
I can't remember who they've got now in terms of Champions League
I feel like they've got an easy game on the next round anyway
And then with the potential future games, they've got an easier run
Yeah, I think it's Arsenal
They've got a hard run
I don't know if it's hard to get a Champions League
But as you said, it's their best chance to do it
They've got a good opportunity
So yeah, we need the
I'll say we
The Premier League needs the English clubs to carry on progressing through the round
Oh, because they'll sing about a fifth team then come into them
Yeah, because it was the same last year as well
So depending on how your country's teams perform
Whether you are allowed an extra position
So yeah, if the English teams carry on progressing through the rounds
Because it's not just with the Champions League
It's the Europa and the Conference as well
So potentially there could be six English teams in the Champions League next year
So if it keeps going right, it would automatically be fifth place as a Champions League spot
And then if United or Tottenham were still in the Europa League as well
That would be straight into it
So potentially six
And then I think that leads down to eighth or ninth position
That will have
No, sorry, ninth or tenth position that would have European football then as well
So yeah, obviously if it goes that way
Then it just goes to show how strong the Premier League is
I mean potentially having fucking Forest and Bournemouth in the Champions League
It's unforeseen really, Ernie
You don't expect it
But it's nice because a lot of teams would struggle against them as well
You know, just hard old school football
Fucking getting stuck in and that
These foreign players, foreign leagues and stuff
They just can't handle it
So that's what, you know, I know they didn't do as good this year anyway
But you know, when Newcastle are in the Champions League
A lot of teams struggle against them like that
The fans just bounce in them, no?
Yeah
So yeah
We're not a footballing podcast but
Yeah, just love it
FA Cup weekend as well this weekend as well
I think, no, sorry
They've got a quiet month now, ain't they really?
No Cup tournaments, they're going to get knocked out of the Champions League
Most people believe anyway
So yeah, they're going to have a quiet month I think
I think so
Which is a shame
Yeah
They're getting half now already
Flying Bob?
Flying
We've still got a couple more correspondents to get through
Let's get into that
New World Order
Have you got any for yourself this week?
No, but I kind of gathered that we'd have a few so I didn't
You haven't done your own prep book is what you're saying then
Yeah, sure
That's fine actually, that's fine
We've
Where's the first one there?
So
Jesse's New World Order
Right
All vets are free to use
Log the NHS
Okay
So
The first one that is outside of the UK and unsure of how the NHS works
Is essentially it's free
So if you have an accident or anything you go straight to the NHS, A&E, hospital and you get in your procedures free
You are paying all with free National Insurance
Yeah, so we've found National Insurance
I'd have to pay more to have it covered for a National Pet Insurance as well
Right
Because it is expensive
Yes, you've got to make sure you have insurance especially if you have a pet
Yeah, I still need to follow up on my old fucking dog insurance
Because I've still only had the one fucking lot of money, keep forgetting to ring them
But then if it's free it just gets abused
You know what I mean, so would that system just get abused like the NHS?
Yes, there still needs to be some sort of regulations into it
So you know little things, say vaccines and that you pay for
But if your dog gets run over
Yeah
And the legs need fucking repairing or whatever then yeah
Yeah and you can take to any vet not just the one it's registered to
You know what I mean, that would be good yeah
So no, no, no, if it's good I'm going to go yeah let's do it
So for major things, yeah for little bits and bobs, vaccines, flea treatments
Whatever little things you do take into
Then you just pay the little fees for that
Because they are extortion, fucking
I remember with my old dog when she needed the oil drops
I can't remember what it's called now but the trial charge and all 30 quid or something for these oil drops
I got three fucking little tube things for 10 pound
Well it wasn't even 10 pound but the sediment at the chemist
Yeah, I know you pay for it though, that's all yeah
And then I still need to go to the vets and probably fucking have a chat with them
And just say make sure anything you ever give them in the future
You can't do this one again because it was the boosters and the flea treatments that they give you
That was poisoning him basically
I've just got him some new spray stuff as well because it's not as bad from when I was taking him to the vets
He's calmed down a lot but he still just has little bits that he's nibbling at
So I've got this little spray and it stinks man
Fuck yes
Because obviously he's got a thick coat
I have to make sure I'm pulling all the fur apart, spraying it and then rubbing it around that little area
So yeah, washing my hands afterwards, it stinks man
But yeah, in general he's a lot better than what he was
So yeah, we agree with that one
Jess if you become the new world leader then we'd vote you for that one
Have you seen any of the KS-TARMA with Trump at the moment?
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Jesus, look, I kept touching him
And you could see Trump as if to say, what the fuck are you doing?
Keep your hand off it
Oh god
Isn't he mad that he's calling him a fascist like two years ago
Now he's touched him, best pals
That's where you can't un-chat shit and then be like that
To be fair, he done alright
I've seen him how he had some questions from the US reporters
He did alright to be fair
He did represent really well
So credit's where credit's due on that
But he's still a nut
Oh, he's still a total twat
Yeah, oh, yeah
But yeah
Again, I feel like Trump was just saying it for the sake of it
Because he was there as if like, yeah, yeah, you know, we're friends
Because he's been involved for another state visit
Yeah, yeah, yeah
And you could just see, he wasn't even reading it
Or he was reading it just thinking, what's this fucking bonnet, I don't fucking care
And then he's like, oh, I've got the signatures on the backlog
And then he passed it to Kea, he's like, do you want to tell him what it says?
So he's obviously not give a fuck about what it is
And then saying the king's a nuts bloke and he's a good friend and whatever
Well, they are actually pals, they are
Yeah, well, he loves everyone, don't he?
I listened to another podcast I listened to, Mad That
And they've had some interesting characters on
And the last one the other day was the Tiger King
Oh, is he still in prison?
Yeah, so still in prison
And then, yeah, Trump is a friend of him
Of his
And he's on the list to be pardoned
And then, because he's saying that obviously he supports Trump 100%
And he wants to be on his cabinet as well
Because he thinks that he can be a future president of the United States of America
Now, I think that one might be a bit far-matched
But then again, we wouldn't be surprised
No
No, but yeah, he
It was funny because he's using his minutes, his phone call minutes
Accumulated half an hour, he went over on his time
But he had to keep saying, I'll call you back in a minute
Because there'd be fucking fights going on in the background and stuff
And because he's a part of a gang, he has to sort it out, whatever
Fucking mad, got scabies at the moment as well
Because he's in a federal prison
They just don't give a fuck
They're just leaving to rot and be in and stuff
And then he was outing them basically
Most places you come in with a little bag with your own sandwiches and stuff
These federal prison guards and that
They come in with a full 100 kilo bag
And it's full of contraband and fucking obviously drugs, drink, whatever
And then they're also stealing stuff from the prisoners
And taking it back out with them as well
There's nothing we can do about it
So yeah, there was a couple of interesting things that went on on that
So if there's anything that
Well, if it sounds interesting
That any of you local listeners want to get on to as well
Then he's called Mad Dat
It's under the Have a Words umbrella
With two other people at work on that podcast
Yeah, they've got some interesting guests on there
One of them, it was the two officers that was on the fucking Narcos case
Fucking what's his name?
The fucking drug geezer
He's dead now
Oh fuck
Narcos, the program
He's written around them, what they did and all that
There's people now just signing like
I've listened to the podcast as well, I can't fucking think of his name
But Pedro Pascal, he's one of the officers in the program as well
I've not even watched it
But since listening to that, I want to get on to it
Pablo Escobar
Thank you, because that was on my mind all fucking night
So they actually was on the case
And they wasn't the officers that killed him
It was the local Colombian police that shot him in the end
But yeah, it's portrayed in the program as if they actually did it
But it's a good listen
They've had a couple of good guests on there to be fair
So it's worth a listen
Where is it?
Joe's New World Order
The police can be called for dog poo not being picked up
And an actual investigation will be had to hand out boys
See, when we go for a walk I do pick his shit up
And I have to admit if we're out in a big park and he goes in some bushes
And you know when the shit on leaves
And sometimes you can't see
I'm just like, I ain't even going to look for that
Because if I am I even step into it all over dog shit
Yeah, I know what you're saying
If you're out in nature, because mine will do it
He'll squeeze himself into a bush
Yeah, yeah
I'm like, why are you being a div?
It's the ones in the pavement that really wind me up
It's not even on the grass, like in the pavement
They're the ones that wind me up
Yeah, because I hate walking on the grass when it's dark
So it's still first thing in the morning at the moment
Because it's just like a fucking minefield
And so if I'm not by one of the street lamps
I'll get my phone out and get the telephone
To make sure I'm not standing in anything
I feel like it's worse now
Because when we were kids and on the field playing football and that
There wasn't much like that
Do you remember when stray dogs were on the road?
There's no such thing as that no more
No, I think because they're just
Well, not in the UK anyway
I think people just fucking will call up
And they'll get fucking impounded and that
But again, it used to be a thing
I do know one person that still does it
But you just let the dogs out and go for a walk on their own
And there's nowhere to go and looking how to be safe and that
And come back
I know I wouldn't be able to do that with my dog
He's a real doughnut
It's just not as safe as he was anymore to do anything like that
I don't know where
I feel like it was in America
A video that I saw the other day
There's a couple in a pet shop
And they're talking about getting a dog or whatever
And they had an acquaintance, a accomplice
There was a third person pretending to faint
And they're being all concerned and the woman's gone over
Well, what's going on?
And then the staff were going over looking to try and help
And the guys are snuck around the back
And he's grabbed two puppies at the fucking
It's not they're in a big fish tank or something
So he's grabbed two puppies
And then the one staff member is like, oh, you don't do that
He's trying to run out
She's half tackled him
He's dropped both the puppies
So they go flying in the fucking air
And then he manages to get up, grabs both of them again
And then runs off
It's just mad
Because even with COVID and that as well
There was high rates of dog theft going on
They were just going into people's back gardens and that
And just stealing the dogs
Absolutely mental
Mine wouldn't even need fucking breaking in
So he'd just fucking be like, oh, yeah, I'll go with you
I don't know if I told you
A couple of months ago now
Just again out walking him
And his case was like
He was about to get back into his car
And he was like, oh, wanting to chat to me
And as I've said enough times
I've got my headphones
I don't want to speak to everyone
But yeah, I was like, yeah, you're all right, mate
He's like, oh, I know it's weird, but can I ask a favour?
Well, that was his mom's house, whatever
I've just told him that I've bought a dog
And I'm just going to the motel
Because I haven't really
But can I just take him up to the window and that
Pretend that I've just got him
I was like, yeah, all right
And he handed me his car key and everything
And I was like, yeah, sound
Fucking, so yeah, just fucking
But obviously he's handed me the car key
I wouldn't have wanted to do that fucking before
But my dog's just literally
He's got the lead
And he's like, oh, yeah, sound
Someone else's taking me for a walk now
And he's gone up to the house
And he's jumped up at the window
Because the daughter was in the fucking house
Like, what's going on?
Fucking his towels wagging
He's like, yeah, new friends for me
Fucking, yes
Loving it
Yeah, he's proper
He's an attention whore
So even so yesterday walking him
No
Yeah, yesterday morning walking him
There was this young lady
Because with the pack in the park
It's not wide enough to be free, deep essentially
So when it's like that
Because he's weird
He doesn't want to be on the grass most of the time
So I'll let him walk in front of me
Because he won't walk beyond
And then this young lady
He's got a thing for bags as well
So if you're walking past with a bag
He's going to try and sniff it
Like what's in there, Thoma?
So because he's nudged his nose towards that
She fucking jumps
Oh, no
Like she was literally in the edge
Fucking shitting herself
It was like, you're all bad
He's falling
Fucking don't get what people would think
If I'm letting him lead
And he's not got a muzzle on on that
Why would I let him lead if he's going to bite you?
I wouldn't
What would anyone do that?
If he's an aggressive dog
He's got to put a fucking muzzle on him
Some people would though, wouldn't they?
That's why
Yeah, so it was that
I had another woman
Literally again in the park
She saw me
But she's come from my left hand side down the path
She saw me
Start
Done a full U-turn
And in my head I just thought
Ah, she's forgot something at home
Because of the way she just like
Full of 180
Walk back
But she's ended up walking up
Going along the other bits of houses
Along another path
To come back down
Just to fully avoid me
Well, the dog
Hopefully the dog
Fucking was
Well, again I've had this conversation with the Mrs. the other day
I don't know why everyone wants to talk to me
Have I really got one of them faces
That people think he's a good conversationist
I don't out myself because I will talk back
I'm not rude, I'm not ignorant and that
But it's just fucking annoying
I don't want to speak to everyone
Maybe it's long hair, mate
When it's tied up and stuff as well
And the headphones are on
And it's the big headphones most of the time
It's not the little earbud ones
The fucking ones that you can see
Because that's why I try and wear them more as well
To make it obvious
One of the geezers
Housed down the road from me
He's standing at the balcony
And I could see he's trying to talk to me
And I could half air
And I'm like, no, I don't want to make another friend
And the disappointment on his face
I could see at the corner of my eye
Because I'm not conversing
And then another woman yesterday
I told my missus
Because I wanted to ring up 101
Because there was fucking
I'm guessing there was
Like Arabian or something
Because he literally walked out of this fucking
Flat thing
And he's like
And there was honestly 14 of them
And they've all piled into this fucking paper carrier
So it's a seven seater
And there were
When it's the full door that swings upwards as the boot
They were literally climbing into the back of that
And I wanted to try and get the fucking
The license plate
Because it wasn't safe
And God knows what they were doing and where they were going
But it wasn't safe
So I wanted to get the license plate to ring 101
And then I'm having the conversation in my head
Of how I would sound to the operator on the phone
Like are these Arabians or fucking Albanians or something
And how do you know that they're foreign
Because he come out of the house going
And his hand was in the air
And he was full on top of the lungs
I'm thinking what the fuck's going on
So yeah I was trying not to sound racist to the wife
As I was saying that
And then yeah just the amount of people
Talk to me I don't need it
I just want to walk the dog
And just you know the headphones are on for a reason
I just want to ignore the world
It's bad enough that I'm fucking trying to avoid all the dog shit everywhere
So yeah if it's in the bush
Where you can't physically walk in yourself
Sound let it be
That's one with nature
But if it's out on the pavement
There's no need for it
Fucking again I've done it for a moment about it
On the fucking pod before fucking
I've seen around about half five in the mornings
Golden Lab
The most aggressive Golden Lab
There's no
Well I've never seen a
No sorry Golden Retriever
Never seen one fucking aggressive
But it always is
And he's off lead
And he's the Chinese geezer
He's always on his phone
Cigarette in his hands
So he doesn't see
He doesn't pay attention that I'm fucking around
So I have to say
Put your dog on the lead
It's just so annoying
But I know for a fact he doesn't pick up the dog shit either
Yeah
And
But he doesn't look does he?
Well no
Because again he'll walk up around the side of the football cage
And the dog will be there
So I know that's what he's doing
Letting him fucking go up there
And I have had the one geezer before
He's fucking
Because that was in the path
And I'm walking on the grass with mine
And I was like do you need a bag mate?
Because he's gone to walk straight off
He's like what?
He says do you need a bag to pick that fucking shit up?
I said I'll give you one if you need some mate
Fucking
Oh no I got one
He says well pick it up then
And I've stood there waiting for it man
Fucking
People just
Fucking
I hate a lot of people
I'm fucking
But this is why I'm such a wound up
I said about the neighbour a couple doors down
They've started parking across the drive again
Not my drive but next to the drive
They've started doing that again
And I'm going to have to fucking
Even though it's not my house
I'm going to have to do something
Because it's just
People taking liberties
Just cheeky bastards
No need for it man
So yeah just
I know I am a nice guy
But just
Too many people are dickheads
So apologies if any of you people are dickheads
James
So
You know just don't be offended by what we say
And what we do
It's all fun
It's all banter at the end of the day
I don't know how they'd be able to investigate though
Unless
Unless when the dogs get chipped
They have like a DNA sample
You know you can't get a paw print
But they'd have to be like
Yeah DNA like a blood test or something
So then when that's
Yeah
Like if you've stepped in the dog shit
You take that to the police station
Or you take the sample of it
And then they can go on
Look what they would do with fingerprints
Go onto the system
Like cross DNA tests and whatever
It seems like a lot of
Find out the culprit
But to be fair
Like if they could get a system of how to love
Do we
I would agree with that to be fair
Yeah
It is annoying
It is really annoying
You know because
I hate the fact that I have to
Walk with my head down most of the time
Making sure I'm not standing in shit
But even though I want to ignore the outside world
I'd still like to look up at the clouds
You know I saw one the other week
Looked like a turtle
Fucking in the sky
A fucking turtle swimming through the sky
Sick
Um
Yeah dog food man
I mean cat shit all over the place as well
They're not bastards to do it on purpose though
They'll fucking come into your garden
Do it in your garden
I know you live next door
What are you coming in mind
Fucking shit
Cats
A lot of people have cats
Shit
Um
So
We have still got plenty of correspondents
We have rattle on
And we're at the deadline
Okay
And it's Friday
We've got stuff to do
Um
We promised everyone that we
And in majority
We have done the correspondence this week
Yeah
But we'll try to get the remaining
Back up so we're up square
It's mainly the hey what's wrong we use
Maybe we should just have like a marathon of this and go hey
And whack them off
Yeah
This
This first of that
I think we'll do that next week
We've got confessions as well
We said I haven't read the one out from you
We've got too much content mate that's the problem
I think
Too much content
Not enough time
Too much words
I know I think
We're probably gonna have to you know start up
In it to a two hour podcast or something at this rate
Um
But then again you know if we was
Uh making money out of this
We'd have a Patreon and we'd do an extra
Section on that and
That'd be all the extra content as well wouldn't it
Yeah
But
You know unfortunately we don't
Yes
We don't earn money
Yes
Anyway
So we always appreciate
Yeah
Keep sending them in we'll get on to them
Yeah apologies if we if you have
Uh emailed or messaged and we haven't
Obviously got rants we'll just bear with us
Yeah we'll uh
Yeah we'll try and get straight on to them again
Next week
Try and get straight on to them again next week
Uh
You know I mean we haven't even touched on to the uh
The Epstein uh
File was about to be released
You know two people two celebrities
Puffy the vampire slayer's sister
Scottie doesn't know actress
Um
Don't tell Scottie
He's got it now hasn't he
Uh
Well yeah
Uh
She's past Gene Hackman
Uh and his wife
I'm wondering if there's a third one
Because he comes in threes
Um
You know is it was there on the list
Uh is that
It
You seen a picture of Gene Hackman
Recently as well
I I didn't know it I didn't think he was real when I
When obviously
It come off
Because he looked totally different looked really frail and old
Yeah he was unrecognizable
Um
But he was yeah O.G. Lex Loper he was
Well uh
It's uh
The Christopher Reeves
I was going to say Batman then
It was fucking super like Batman
Uh
Batman fucking
We will finish in a minute
Have you watched any of the
Uh
Batman animated series on
Amazon
No
Uh
So I've not properly watched any of it
I've just
It was when
I don't know whatever was playing up the other week I put it on
Uh
To go to sleep so
But the wife was watching it while I was trying to go to sleep
Uh
Penguin's a woman isn't it
I know
It's just fucking
Uh
Commission of Gordon's Act as well
Well I did eye roll then for the people that did hear
Like
Hit eye roll
Fucking
I'm not surprised just the way it is I need to go to tick
But you just gotta tick some other stuff and then you gotta tick this now
I need to properly watch it to see all the differences
We need a female
Transgender
Person on this show because this is a bit too wifey
Uh
Female I'd agree with
We don't need any fucking
We don't need any more hormones than that
It's too much
I can feel your whiteness mate
No I'm fussing your black dog as we speak at the moment
Fucking
Alpha
Alpha yeah
Little black alpha
Uh
Yeah
I mean he's partially white
Yeah
White hairs
His chest
Yeah
Grey
Best of both
So uh
Yeah as always appreciate it
We'll love yous and leave yous
And um
Yeah we'll be back on it next week
Uh
Yeah we definitely will
We've got enough time at the moment to do it
I think the only potential
Uh
Gap
That we might have is
The week of my birthday while I'm away
Um
We should be able to do the record on the Friday
But because I'm going away Saturday to Saturday
Yeah yeah
So the following one
So if we have enough time we'll do a back to back one then
To split it out from the two
If not I'll try and get something on my own while I'm walking a dog or something
That we'll walk with JD episode maybe
Walking with JD
Yeah
Walking with JD and Shira
Got my earphones on now
Like that
Some dog shit
Don't say anything in that one
Do you want a bag?
Just
I love you
I love being a fucking wild up to people man
But some of them need it
You know they need to be put in the place
You know
So uh
Yeah well um
Yeah on that note
Yeah
We'll see you next week
Peace
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