1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,800 Ash and JD, they're the hosts, talking real, they're not like most 2 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:09,000 The podcasting fun with a side of wit, get ready 3 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:12,000 Cause you won't wanna quit 4 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:15,000 They bring the laughs, they bring the noise 5 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:19,000 Sharing stories of their crazy joys 6 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:22,000 From deep discussions to silly tales 7 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:26,000 The real talking podcast never fails 8 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:30,000 Step your headphones, step ready to groove 9 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:33,000 Ash and JD will make your mood improve 10 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:36,000 The banter that's witty and no so sly 11 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:39,000 Their chemistry's electric, you can't deny 12 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,000 Yeah, quite quite 13 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:54,000 What's happening everyone? Welcome to this week's episode of the real talking podcast 14 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:57,000 I'm with your host, Ash and JD 15 00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:01,000 And I know what you're thinking, what, two weeks in a row? How's this happening? 16 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,000 Yeah 17 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:05,000 We do try, we really do 18 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:09,000 And it is the babysitting club this week as well 19 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:14,000 Just in case you hear any kids music or 20 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:17,000 Well, looking child in the background 21 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:20,000 Yeah, any quack quacks, any war in 22 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:23,000 Little T-Rexes or Baby Shark or whatever 23 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:26,000 Also with the little main man Alfie too 24 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:31,000 So, you know, he won't bark cause he's after the scraps of food 25 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,000 He's a silly boy 26 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:40,000 Well, we did say we'd jump straight on to the correspondence last week 27 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:44,000 So we will do, we'll do a couple rants on about usual things and then 28 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:47,000 Wrap it up, any, but 29 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:52,000 I'm gonna start off with, I don't know if I'm saying this right, Ramy or Rami 30 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:57,000 What did you want to say about Shaggy? Has he done something? 31 00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:00,000 Cause I don't know what we was talking about 32 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:04,000 We said about Shaggy and then I'll never come back around to it 33 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:09,000 So as far as a no, no, he hasn't done anything wrong 34 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:13,000 All it was, was 35 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:18,000 I don't know if I, yeah, it was just on the radio or something 36 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:25,000 No, that was it, I just did a random one playing the song and then the playlist just started whacking songs through and through 37 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:28,000 And so Shaggy, it wasn't me, it came on 38 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:33,000 And so I'm listening to the lyrics, obviously I knew them anyway cause he was an old school banger 39 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:37,000 But I'm like, this is the original Gaslowsing isn't it? 40 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:41,000 Just full on, just, it wasn't me, but she saw me 41 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,000 Yeah, it wasn't me, looking, everything 42 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:48,000 And I was just sitting there laughing, I can't believe 43 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:52,000 This was full on accepted and it was a great song, everyone loved it and that 44 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,000 And it was just Gaslowing 45 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:58,000 Could have made that no more mate, misogyny and that 46 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:01,000 It was just a great song by Ramy 47 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:05,000 Yeah, I was just literally laughing, you want to change your specs 48 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:08,000 Just full on, yeah you're blind, it wasn't me 49 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,000 But who was it then? 50 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,000 It wasn't him? 51 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:15,000 You just can't say that it was a friend or fucking his brother or something 52 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:18,000 Cause she'd seen him, she caught him red handed 53 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,000 But while we're on the music as well 54 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:31,000 So a couple of weeks ago 55 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:37,000 I don't know what, we were talking about the Kanye West albums and stuff 56 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:41,000 And Miles, he sent this message a couple of weeks ago to be fair 57 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:44,000 So apologies for how late it's been as a reply 58 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:48,000 But he just said, absolutely loving the albums you spoke about 59 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:51,000 Really opens me up to new slash old stuff 60 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,000 Do you have any more recommendations? 61 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:59,000 Right, so do you remember which ones we recommended? 62 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:04,000 Well essentially it was all of Kanye West's back catalogue really wasn't it? 63 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,000 Yeah 64 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:12,000 And then I think we said about the Kanye and Jay-Z Watch the Throne album as well 65 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:15,000 Did we mention that icon album, Freedom? 66 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,000 We mentioned that 67 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,000 I feel like we touched on that as well 68 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:23,000 Because I think we were talking about when you go back to solo 69 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:29,000 I tell you what, the game's first album I've been starting to listen to again 70 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,000 I had a dream 71 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:34,000 Yeah, I really haven't listened to that to years 72 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:37,000 No, honestly mate, because I wasn't too keen on it 73 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:41,000 But then like, so I'd recommend the game 74 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:44,000 I can't remember what the album's called now, that first album 75 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:47,000 But I've been absolutely passionate 76 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:50,000 Well while you were finding Alex 77 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:55,000 The other week, it was after I'd read Miles' question 78 00:04:55,000 --> 00:05:01,000 I thought I might try and go back to an old school album once a week 79 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,000 And recommend it to the lovely listeners 80 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:07,000 So the first one that I went to was McFly 81 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,000 No, sorry, Busted 82 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:14,000 And so it was their debut album, What We Go To School For 83 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:17,000 Or it might have just been called Busted 84 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:21,000 But literally, yeah, the tunes on there, what I go to school for 85 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,000 Even that, like listening to the lyrics 86 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:27,000 I know we touched on it not too long ago 87 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:34,000 Where for men it seems less frowned upon, or should be less frowned upon 88 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,000 Depending on what sort of cake you want to eat 89 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:41,000 That it's okay for the woman teacher to get it on with the male students 90 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,000 You can't do it the other way around, that's wrong 91 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:48,000 But yeah, he fancies the teacher, she fancies him 92 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:51,000 Dropping a pencil on the floor so we can see more and all that 93 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:54,000 And on the video, he's outside a house in a tree, if I remember correctly 94 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,000 Yeah, yeah, they say that on the song as well 95 00:05:56,000 --> 00:06:01,000 And then at the end of it, she's left the fella, falls up outside the school 96 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:06,000 He jumps in the car and then they just drive off into the sunset 97 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:11,000 Yeah, there was a song about Britney Spears as well 98 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:14,000 The scroller for the internet trying to find nude pictures and that 99 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:17,000 And the internet back then was dead, it was slow 100 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:23,000 So even if you could find that picture, it would take 10 days just to download onto the computer 101 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,000 The porn struggle was real back then 102 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:29,000 So well, we couldn't even go on it, we just still had to use our imagination 103 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,000 The good old days 104 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:36,000 So the game album is called The Documentary, I should have known 105 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,000 I'd say that's what I was thinking about 106 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:41,000 Because I heard a few songs and it was like 107 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:50,000 When, obviously you know movies have soundtracks or a song purposefully made for a movie 108 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:55,000 Can you name a time when the song is more popular than the movie? 109 00:06:55,000 --> 00:07:01,000 Because I was thinking, there's a few times now when I think of the song 110 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:04,000 And then go, oh this is for a movie, it's like Teenage Dirtbag 111 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,000 That was for 112 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,000 American 113 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:11,000 I can't remember the name, that's what I mean, I can't even remember 114 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,000 Was it American Sweet? No 115 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:17,000 Because I can see the cover of the film, because again I don't know the name 116 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,000 But she was in American Poly 117 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:22,000 And you got the lad from American Poly as well, didn't you? 118 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:27,000 Yeah, she's on a bed covered in red rose petals and stuff 119 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:34,000 So that's what I was thinking, when did the song become more popular than the movie? 120 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:39,000 Because initially I was like fucking Chewnesses, then I was like, oh fuck it's for a movie 121 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:46,000 Well I think the first one that came to mind was Everything Is Awesome from the Lego movie 122 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:52,000 But I think that they were on par, because you only knew the song if you watched the movie 123 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:58,000 And then the song was all over the radio, but you knew straight away it was associated with the movie 124 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:01,000 Yeah, that's kind of like 50-50 125 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:04,000 Yeah, I feel like that is the level, because you loved the song if you loved the movie 126 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:07,000 And if you didn't love the movie, you hated the song 127 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,000 I mean, it was awesome 128 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,000 It was 129 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,000 Especially for part of the team 130 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,000 Yeah 131 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:20,000 Another one that's come into mind, I've got to make sure I've got the right song now though 132 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:25,000 Patrick Swayze's song, She's Like the Wind 133 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,000 Oh, you mean for Ghost, was it? 134 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:30,000 No, that wasn't Ghost, was it Dirty Dancing? 135 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:34,000 Possibly, I mean then again, yeah 136 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:37,000 So that's a massive song 137 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,000 Probably bigger than the movie 138 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:42,000 Yeah, because I'm struggling, I'm sure it's Dirty Dancing 139 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:48,000 I don't know if I ever brought this up, but you know the song 140 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:54,000 My girl wants to party all the time, party all the time, party all the time 141 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,000 Do you know who sings that? 142 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,000 No 143 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,000 Eddie Murphy 144 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,000 What? 145 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:02,000 Yeah, so he had a bet with someone in the industry 146 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:06,000 Because obviously in a lot of films and stuff he sings a lot 147 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:12,000 So he had a bet that he could write a song and produce it just for the sake of it 148 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,000 And that's what he did, that's what he came out with 149 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,000 Nice 150 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,000 Yeah, Banger from Eddie Murphy 151 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:20,000 I don't know if he ever released it in a film as well 152 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:22,000 Oh, Axeleth 153 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:28,000 So it was for the Eddie Murphy films 154 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,000 Fucking 155 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:33,000 There was a new one just come out, Beverly Hills 156 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,000 Oh, right, right 157 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:38,000 Yeah, because Axeleth even did the Crazy Frog version and all that 158 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,000 Yeah 159 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:44,000 So, did she drop the What's It or something? 160 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,000 No, I don't know what she's doing 161 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:49,000 The young ones kicking off or something 162 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:54,000 I mean it's not the sausage roll because the rest of that was under your art 163 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,000 Do you want your back back? 164 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,000 Yeah, go on then 165 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,000 It's the back back 166 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,000 See, baby sitting club 167 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,000 That's it 168 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,000 Oh no, oh no 169 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,000 Oh no, come on, come on 170 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:17,000 So, yeah, I don't know how many there would be really down in that sense 171 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:24,000 If there's any other suggestions that you lovely listeners can think of 172 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:29,000 Then do email or drop the text message, WhatsApp in 173 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:36,000 Links are all in the description for everything, the number and the email address and that as always 174 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,000 There's got to be loads 175 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:42,000 There's probably like when you think about Ali 176 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:45,000 Because I thought of one more but I can remember that at the time 177 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,000 Armageddon 178 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,000 I don't know 179 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,000 Aerosmith, yeah 180 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,000 Yeah, it's it 181 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:55,000 And then again, there was a Robin Hood one as well 182 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,000 Literally that's the one I was going to say 183 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,000 I can't fucking think of the song there though 184 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,000 With, yeah 185 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:04,000 I know the song because I did that as one of the 186 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,000 With Bright, what's his name now? 187 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:09,000 I did that, this is when I was in the bar there 188 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:13,000 Yeah, with Performing Arts in School, that was one of my performances 189 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:17,000 I had to learn it on the keyboard and fucking play and sing and all that 190 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,000 But yeah, there's a few 191 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:23,000 I mean, it's just because when that teenage dirtbag 192 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:26,000 Come on now, it's just like this is so much bigger than the movie 193 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:29,000 Well, they're doing a tour at the moment, aren't they? 194 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,000 I can't even think of the band's name now 195 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,000 Wheatus 196 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,000 Wheatus, yeah 197 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,000 So yeah, they were in 198 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:38,000 I think they're in Scotland this weekend 199 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,000 Okay 200 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,000 Yeah 201 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,000 I don't know what other songs they've done 202 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:47,000 I don't know, but you could say that about loads of fucking artists and stuff over here 203 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,000 Yeah 204 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:53,000 Yeah, it must have been a meme or a TikTok recently 205 00:11:53,000 --> 00:12:00,000 How the younger generations will never know the feeling of listening to Eamonn 206 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,000 Oh, yeah 207 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:05,000 Like fuck you, you hoe, whatever it was called now 208 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:09,000 But I remember when that came out in school, just again another band guy 209 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,000 And then was it Frankie that did the 210 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,000 Yeah, fuck you right back 211 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,000 Yeah 212 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:18,000 So yeah, the album recommendations are there, Miles 213 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:25,000 I'll think, because even just playing random songs the other day 214 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:28,000 Because I can't even think what song that started off with 215 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,000 Oh, it was 216 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,000 Was it Jamie T 217 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,000 No 218 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:36,000 Again, yeah, it was a TikTok that got the song into my head 219 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,000 Crawl Me A River, Justin Timberlake 220 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,000 Oh, right 221 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:42,000 And so that was it, I went on from that 222 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:45,000 Got into the band to head off to work 223 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:49,000 Whacked that out and that was the random playlist that just started going through 224 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,000 M&M songs and all sorts of stuff 225 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:54,000 That is a good album, the Justin Timberlake one, that Future Love Sex 226 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,000 Yeah 227 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:59,000 What's that album, is it Future Love Sex Sound, is that the name of that album? 228 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:02,000 It's Future Love Something, isn't it? 229 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,000 I might be wrong in that actually 230 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:08,000 We know which one I'm on about, the one where he's like 231 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,000 No, it's Chills 232 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,000 Yeah 233 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:14,000 I mean, I've already got a fourth album for next week 234 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,000 I'm not going to say it, I'm going to listen to it first 235 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,000 Oh, OK 236 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,000 Just get it into my head again 237 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:22,000 But just be ready for all sorts of different genres 238 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:28,000 It's not just going to be rap and hip hop that we've already mainly recommended 239 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:31,000 It'll be all sorts 240 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:36,000 So yeah, moving on from that, we had a good few WhatsApp messages 241 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:45,000 Just giving congratulations to the baby announcements for my wife, not for me 242 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,000 Both for both of you 243 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,000 Yeah, yeah 244 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:53,000 You both took part, some enjoyed it more than others, some didn't enjoy it 245 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:58,000 Don't get me started on this again, we finished the last one off with the rants 246 00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:02,000 I nearly bought it up the other night as well, it was fucking... 247 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:06,000 What do you mean? Look, we spoke about you on the podcast or what you said on the podcast 248 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:12,000 What I said on the podcast, just kicking off, about fucking not having the fun of going through the baby-making process 249 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:19,000 So because we were sitting there, as I say, she's milking it 250 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:22,000 And she's put her feet on my lap 251 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:25,000 I'm a bit of a fuck-room, please 252 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:29,000 So done that, and then so she's like 253 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:36,000 If I'm feeling all right, then I have a bit of fucking tickling, whatever 254 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:40,000 And I knew straight away it wasn't going to happen 255 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,000 Because I'm going to get to bed, she's going to be too tired and all that 256 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:47,000 Because I'm used to that, I don't even fucking hold my hopes up anymore 257 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:51,000 And I had to bite my tongue because I was going to say, fuck you 258 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:56,000 The rant that I had, we didn't even fucking go for it in the first place 259 00:14:56,000 --> 00:15:01,000 But I did and I was good, because it was too late and I couldn't be arse-arguing 260 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:04,000 So I won't do it tomorrow 261 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:15,000 Again, well this is moaning about something else now 262 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:21,000 Because as I showed you off the pod and spoke about, just redoing my kitchen, giving it a little bit of facelift 263 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:26,000 And so when she was on about painting earlier, as I was painting one bit 264 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:30,000 I said, oh, make sure the window's open and this door's shut because of the fumes 265 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:34,000 Years ago, they've taken certain chemicals out of paints 266 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:37,000 That's why your glasses and stuff don't smell as much 267 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:41,000 And your glass will turn yellow quickly, within 12 months essentially 268 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:48,000 So mainly, paints don't smell, they're not as harmful with the chemicals in them 269 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:51,000 So I'd say that to her 270 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:56,000 And then she's come out with, well, you know, we've got to make sure, we should get 271 00:15:56,000 --> 00:16:02,000 But tomorrow, when I do get on to painting the doors, because I've got some new doors 272 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:06,000 That are already pre-panned and I'm going to paint them 273 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:12,000 I already knew that as soon as I start, she's going to want to jump on the paint with me 274 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:15,000 And this is a whole fucking saga with my missus 275 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:20,000 Because she'll want to get involved, she'll be doing my hair, and look 276 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:23,000 So I'm going to try and give it the simple stuff to do 277 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:26,000 But without messing anything up 278 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:29,000 Because I'll already have to do it again anyway 279 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:35,000 So as long as I can keep it simple, then it'll be not as much mess for me to sort out 280 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:38,000 So when she's coming out with, look, you know, well, if I was painting 281 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:41,000 I'd be wearing a mask right now, I just wouldn't be painting 282 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,000 So I pulled her up on it, I says, oh, so when I'm painting the doors tomorrow 283 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:47,000 You're not going to want to help me 284 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:50,000 And her face, demeanour and everything changed straight away 285 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,000 Because I'd caught her out, because she will 286 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,000 And she was like, yeah, I will do actually 287 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,000 I was like, I fucking know you will 288 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:59,000 Not that I want to, and I'll make my point clear tomorrow 289 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,000 So that'll probably start an argument 290 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,000 I'll say probably it will do 291 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:06,000 Because let's say she won't listen 292 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:10,000 I'll show her what to do, and then she'll do it her own way 293 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:14,000 And because it's hand painting the doors, you've got to do it a specific way 294 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:17,000 Otherwise you're going to be left with brush marks or roller marks 295 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:21,000 You've got to go one direction, not the band 296 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:24,000 With the way that you're using your roller or your brush 297 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:28,000 Because if you just go in at different angles, you'll see when it's drawn 298 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:32,000 You've got to make sure you go vertically, horizontally, one on the two 299 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:35,000 And then it's all even 300 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,000 But yeah, that's a me problem 301 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:40,000 I'm going to have to fucking deal with that 302 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:45,000 The fact that she keeps thinking it's got to be done in a day as well 303 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:49,000 No, but the door's going to need at least two coats of paint 304 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:52,000 And, oh, have you got enough paint? 305 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,000 I was like, yeah 306 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,000 Well, it doesn't look like you've got enough 307 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:58,000 I haven't even started painting the doors yet, so you don't know 308 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:01,000 But if not, I'll get another tool and it will come the next day 309 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,000 But it'll be fine 310 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:06,000 And then I only need to paint the front of the door 311 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,000 I don't need to paint the insides 312 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:10,000 When the door's shut, you're not going to see that it's wadded, don't matter 313 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:13,000 But if I've got enough to do the insides, I'll do that afterwards 314 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:16,000 The main thing is get the fronts done first, get them swapped over 315 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:20,000 I've got to do small iterations to some of the cabinets and stuff as well 316 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:23,000 So it is going to be a lot of messing around 317 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,000 And it's not going to be done in a day 318 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:30,000 I've already spent a day and a half, essentially, so far doing these bits and bobs 319 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,000 So yeah 320 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:36,000 Well, if she's lucky, it'll be a good day tomorrow 321 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:41,000 But if the paint doesn't dry quick enough, then it will get finished off next weekend 322 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,000 So I'm not rushing it 323 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:46,000 And then even that, where are you going to paint the doors? 324 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,000 In that area over there 325 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:52,000 Oh, you're going to spray them or hand paint them? 326 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,000 Hand paint them 327 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,000 Why don't you spray them? 328 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,000 Now, I haven't got the space 329 00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:00,000 All the equipment to set up a spray booth 330 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,000 I said, fuck you, spray them 331 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,000 She said, well, you don't need a booth, do you? 332 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,000 Just do it outside 333 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:10,000 So all the paint, the excess paint goes all over the van and the car 334 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,000 Do it in the garden 335 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:16,000 So it goes over the decking and on the brickwork and on the windows and that 336 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,000 Just better after, yeah 337 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:22,000 But she knows that that's pushing my buttons and whining me off that 338 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,000 And I can see that little grin, that little squint 339 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,000 Do you think she's doing it on purpose, my dwarf, mate? 340 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,000 Definitely 341 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:32,000 Because it is, it's just thought, I'll ask this stupid question 342 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:35,000 And then I'll give this stupid response 343 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:38,000 Because she does, she definitely knows 344 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:44,000 But if it was work related, she wouldn't be doing anything fucking all that 345 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,000 Even with last night 346 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:51,000 So, but when it comes to her work friends 347 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:55,000 When it's just colleagues, but fucking they're all best friends, I know 348 00:19:55,000 --> 00:20:02,000 There's this one, they've been to fucking Germany and wear a bra or something like that 349 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:07,000 So she had, I do class this one as an actual friend 350 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:10,000 But I've sorted out dinner 351 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,000 And then her phone's going off 352 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,000 Because she's getting the text messages and stuff 353 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:18,000 So I said, look, you're eating 354 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,000 Because it always, it goes my head in 355 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:23,000 If you're eating, phone down, just eat your food 356 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:27,000 Oh, it's just so and so telling me about this 357 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:33,000 And straight away, I'm not interested 358 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,000 Again, because of this certain friend that she's on about 359 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,000 I thought she was a lesbian for starters 360 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,000 Turns out she's not 361 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,000 She's had this fella for a couple of years 362 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,000 I thought she was single 363 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,000 This is what I thought, she was a lesbian as well 364 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:50,000 And doesn't mean just because she's lesbian, she has to be single 365 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:53,000 I just assumed she was 366 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:59,000 So my missus only just found out about this other fella as well 367 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:03,000 So this is when it starts to get a little bit juicy 368 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:07,000 So they work together, but they don't work together 369 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:15,000 Because, so it's another department that poisons out from the company basically 370 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,000 But they still use the office 371 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:22,000 Then it turns out that he's older than the friend as well 372 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:27,000 I think she's like 27 373 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,000 And I was like, what is he like 60 or something 374 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:32,000 So he's around 50 375 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:36,000 So there's a bit of a twice the age gap 376 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:42,000 Then there's the dramas with his ex-misses 377 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,000 Always Wanting Favors and this and that 378 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:48,000 That she still wants to be with him 379 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:52,000 But they can't tell anyone because of work situation 380 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,000 This and that 381 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,000 And I was like, this is just too much messing around 382 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:58,000 Just tell her to nipple in the bud 383 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,000 Just chin him off 384 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,000 Because if they're not going to be exclusive 385 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,000 Just chin him off 386 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,000 Because I said about kids 387 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:06,000 Is she going to want kids? 388 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,000 No, she definitely won't want kids 389 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,000 I was like, alright then 390 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:13,000 Because they've already been together for two years or whatever 391 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:16,000 So you're either going to commit 392 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:19,000 And just get it out in the open 393 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,000 And then deal with the consequences afterwards 394 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,000 Or just chin it off 395 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:26,000 I bet there's some shit that goes down in offices in there 396 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:27,000 There must be 397 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:31,000 I guarantee some of our listeners will probably work in offices 398 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:35,000 Everyone's just shagging each other behind each other's back 399 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,000 Literally that's just all it is, isn't it? 400 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,000 Yeah, you'd imagine so 401 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,000 Some juicy stories there 402 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:44,000 Yeah, we've never been in those situations 403 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,000 But then again, it's happened off on the doors 404 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:50,000 The propositions that I've had and done over the years 405 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:54,000 Not since I've been with the missus 406 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:58,000 But yeah, these things do go on 407 00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:01,000 But yeah, it was just too much messing around 408 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:04,000 For about half an hour at least for me 409 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:07,000 Because it was late by the time I'd done dinner 410 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:10,000 For two minutes I was interested 411 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:13,000 And then once I'd said more of it 412 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,000 I was like, all right, I'm done now 413 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:17,000 But no, I'd opened the fucking can of worms 414 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:19,000 So all this information was getting thrown up 415 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:22,000 I was just trying to eat my shitty lasagna 416 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,000 And cheesy guard bread 417 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,000 Because the kitchen was out of commission last night 418 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:29,000 So I just got pre-made one from ASDA 419 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,000 Banged it in the oven, yeah, it was dead 420 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:34,000 But once you start making your own stuff from scratch 421 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:37,000 You realize how bad some of these ready meals are 422 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:40,000 I remember it was edible 423 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:45,000 You just miss the flavor that goes into it when you do it yourself 424 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:49,000 Yeah, it was a little bit gutsy before 425 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:52,000 At least the cheesy guard bread was all right 426 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:55,000 They're putting less cheese on these things now as well 427 00:23:55,000 --> 00:24:00,000 Don't get it, I'm paying one pound nine cents for nine pieces 428 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:03,000 Of the fucking, they get the cheese on 429 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:06,000 And it's already thinly grated cheese as it eats 430 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,000 There's less cheese there 431 00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:09,000 And it cost more, wouldn't it? 432 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,000 Yeah, it's just ridiculous 433 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:15,000 So I wasn't too impressed with that 434 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:22,000 So yeah, I don't even know how we got fucking onto that 435 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,000 I can't remember, though 436 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,000 Yeah, just thanks for all the congratulations 437 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,000 Yeah, and that's the worst 438 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,000 I know all that's... 439 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:40,000 Yeah, I know I was asked about names and stuff 440 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:43,000 Yeah, I've got a name 441 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,000 He's going to be called Jasper 442 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:49,000 Nickname being still at the moment anyway 443 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:58,000 I know it's a lot different for the man anyway 444 00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:02,000 I still just keep getting that, oh, he's kicking, he's kicking 445 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:05,000 So I'm sitting there and I have to walk 446 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:08,000 I put my left hand out onto the belly 447 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,000 So I can feel him wriggling around 448 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:13,000 But I can't feel it as intense as what she can 449 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:16,000 Because obviously it's all inside 450 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,000 Can't you feel that? 451 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,000 I didn't feel a kick 452 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,000 I'm feeling wriggling, moving around that 453 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:26,000 But I can't feel the actual kick in that that you're feeling 454 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:29,000 And it's just constant fucking 455 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,000 I don't know if you all miss this, Diddy 456 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:34,000 But every night she'll put this oil on her belly 457 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:37,000 To help stop stretch marks and stuff 458 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:39,000 And she'll get into bed then 459 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,000 And expect me to put my hands around her belly 460 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,000 I don't want to grease her hand 461 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:46,000 I know it's just a moisturiser or whatever 462 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:49,000 But I don't want it 463 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:52,000 I don't even love a kiss after she's put lip gloss on 464 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:53,000 Or lip balm on 465 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,000 Because I don't need that greasiness 466 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:58,000 So just fucking just let me be 467 00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:04,000 And it's always because she'll say I'll spend an hour before bed 468 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:07,000 Death scrolling on fucking TikTok 469 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,000 And when I'll get into bed 470 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,000 I'll have about four minutes of just a quick scroll for it 471 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:15,000 While I just get comfy, warm up in bed and whatever 472 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,000 As soon as she's in I have to put my phone down 473 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,000 To put my fucking hand on her belly 474 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:25,000 I'm trying to be supportive and showing that I want to be involved 475 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:28,000 Just give me five minutes just to decompress 476 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:32,000 So yeah I think tomorrow's going to be a kick off day 477 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:36,000 And then you'll have one of these running about 478 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:40,000 I don't know if any of us can hear in the background 479 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,000 But she's been shawty 480 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:45,000 Running around, eating, crying 481 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:50,000 Why you go? Just chewing on her food 482 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:53,000 You're going to say hello? Going to go quack quack 483 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:58,000 That's, you know what? The lad next door said the perfect thing 484 00:26:58,000 --> 00:26:59,000 And it's true 485 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,000 Having a kid makes you seem like a liar 486 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:03,000 Because you say she does all this stuff 487 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:06,000 Then you go do it and no one do it then 488 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:08,000 You're going to go quack quack? 489 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:09,000 No 490 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,000 Don't bite, no 491 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,000 Alright you can have the ball 492 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:16,000 Yeah, there you go 493 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:19,000 But even, before we started the pod 494 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:22,000 I mentioned it 495 00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:25,000 Because quite early doors 496 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,000 It was like she was all friendly with me and all that 497 00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:32,000 But the last probably two months it was like that shy period to kick in 498 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:35,000 Yeah it varies 499 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:38,000 At the moment she's all about my dad 500 00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:40,000 When my dad comes in 501 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,000 She doesn't want no one else 502 00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:43,000 Just him 503 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,000 But there was time 504 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,000 Up until about two weeks ago 505 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:48,000 Didn't want nothing to do with him 506 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,000 So it's just always in her terms 507 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:51,000 It's her world 508 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:52,000 Talking about you mate 509 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,000 It's her world and we're just living in it at the moment 510 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:55,000 Yeah 511 00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,000 But on the other end 512 00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:00,000 Little Alfie Boyd, he's always after a puss 513 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:03,000 Not that it's often that I'm sitting on your sofa to be fair 514 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:08,000 Because we're usually just in the studio 515 00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:09,000 On the sofa 516 00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:12,000 Come on for a cuddle now as well sitting on my lap 517 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:13,000 Yeah 518 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,000 So yeah 519 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:16,000 But the dog 520 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,000 I mean 521 00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:21,000 Apart from this one job that we've done recently 522 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:24,000 I've not met a dog that hasn't walked now 523 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:26,000 But I mean you see what I'm talking about 524 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:29,000 Anyway coming in always giving them the affection show 525 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:30,000 Not exalting them 526 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,000 Giving them a fuss and all that 527 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,000 But I think with this other one on this job 528 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:37,000 Because the customer was over protective 529 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,000 And not letting him go anywhere 530 00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:41,000 Or not always in the cage 531 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:42,000 So 532 00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,000 Yeah 533 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:46,000 He couldn't come over and have that little bit of a fuss and attention 534 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:47,000 So 535 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:48,000 Yeah 536 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,000 Yeah just 537 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,000 I think he was a lockdown dog as well 538 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,000 We got him during the Covid lockdown 539 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,000 And 540 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,000 Since the property back at work 541 00:28:58,000 --> 00:28:59,000 He's just locked in the car 542 00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:01,000 Yeah neglected and that 543 00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:03,000 So it's a shame 544 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,000 Well I mean 545 00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,000 You can't say more than that 546 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:10,000 All the rescues and good boys 547 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:11,000 Chunky boys 548 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,000 He's 11 now I'll say 549 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:14,000 Old boy 550 00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:16,000 No then he 551 00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:17,000 Young boy 552 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:18,000 Benchman bullet 553 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,000 Oh yeah 554 00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:23,000 Oh I know there was one 555 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:27,000 Comment on the WhatsApp as well about my dog 556 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:30,000 I think he's alright 557 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:31,000 He's just fucking 558 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:32,000 I think 559 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:35,000 Since doing that 560 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:38,000 More pet sensitivity test 561 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,000 Affiliate marketing 562 00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,000 That was what the word was 563 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:43,000 Oh right yeah 564 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:44,000 Last week 565 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:46,000 So yeah since doing that 566 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,000 And knowing what's causing 567 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:50,000 I think the main cause was the flea treatments 568 00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,000 Because obviously they have to have that 569 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:53,000 Well every 570 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:56,000 Depending on what one I think every 6 to 3 571 00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,000 6 weeks to 3 months roughly 572 00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,000 Depending on what treatment you're giving him 573 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:01,000 So 574 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,000 Yeah 575 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,000 Because I did notice when I first 576 00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,000 Gave him this one drop 577 00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:09,000 On the back of his neck 578 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,000 He gave like a little ball patch 579 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:14,000 Almost like 580 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:16,000 Made the fur go a little bit bristly 581 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,000 And that bit as well 582 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,000 So 583 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:22,000 I think yeah because it was from that 584 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,000 And then the other ones that they were giving me 585 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:28,000 It just spread around 586 00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:31,000 Just on top of his diet stuff 587 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,000 So table salt 588 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:34,000 Because that's 589 00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:35,000 Like sodium 590 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,000 That's the main thing 591 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:40,000 So if I cook I've got to use 592 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:41,000 Like proper salt and that 593 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:43,000 Which I've got proper salts anyway but 594 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:46,000 When you just season you just throw them table salt in there 595 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:47,000 So 596 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:48,000 Yeah it's a 597 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:51,000 An eye opener for how much I've got to 598 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,000 Adapt things and that really 599 00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:55,000 I'm just hoping 600 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,000 I mean I've said it enough times before but 601 00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,000 So far as well 602 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:02,000 Yeah Koby's got no allergies or issues 603 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:03,000 No no 604 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:06,000 Whereas it seems like most kids these days have 605 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:08,000 I mean all of my 606 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,000 Not all of them sorry but 607 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,000 Two of my nieces have got issues 608 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:16,000 Celiac and gluten intolerance and all this and that 609 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,000 So 610 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,000 It makes you think 611 00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,000 Hopefully when 612 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:23,000 Little Jasper's there 613 00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:26,000 Hopefully he doesn't have anything like that as well 614 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:29,000 Because I don't want to have to change my diet just to 615 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,000 Keep him fit you know what I mean 616 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:32,000 So 617 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,000 Again I don't know if we spoke about it but 618 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:37,000 If you become diabetic and you have to change 619 00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:39,000 Things you're eating and that I'd struggle man 620 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:40,000 I'd have a struggle 621 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:41,000 So 622 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,000 Yeah hopefully he's alright as well 623 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,000 But we'll see 624 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,000 We'll see in a couple of months time 625 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:48,000 Erm 626 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,000 Well you know 627 00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:52,000 He might be 628 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:55,000 Like her and want to kick everything already 629 00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:57,000 Or whatever 630 00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:59,000 Well according to my nieces he's already kicking a lot 631 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:00,000 You know 632 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,000 Well I don't know 633 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,000 Because he was funny with the 634 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,000 The scans 635 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:08,000 You're old then 636 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:10,000 I don't want the dog to choke you know 637 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:11,000 Erm 638 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:14,000 So with the scans he's in there and he's like 639 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:17,000 All I could think of at the time was 640 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:20,000 The unstep brothers when they moved the furniture in the bedroom 641 00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:21,000 And they're like 642 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:24,000 Ah look at all this room for activities and the karate chopping and stuff 643 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,000 So it was like he was doing that 644 00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,000 So they couldn't get the 645 00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:32,000 The scan properly and the missus had to end up doing star jumps and that 646 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,000 She's had to do that both times 647 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:35,000 So er 648 00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,000 Yeah he is constantly on the move 649 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,000 Erm 650 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:41,000 I'm waiting for it now because 651 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:43,000 I keep seeing the 652 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,000 Tic tocs and whatever 653 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:46,000 That 654 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:47,000 Er 655 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:48,000 Basically from 656 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,000 Pretty much now 657 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,000 Just before the third trimester 658 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:55,000 Essentially the father's going to start speaking to the belly 659 00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:56,000 Oh yeah 660 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,000 So he'd add security and help with 661 00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:00,000 Not brain functions and stuff 662 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:05,000 So yeah from getting annoyed with the awkward hand positions at the moment 663 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:09,000 It's going to get fucking worse when I've got to pop my head on the belly and fucking 664 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:10,000 Start talking to him and that 665 00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:13,000 Because it's weird and I don't know if you felt the same or 666 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:14,000 Erm 667 00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:15,000 Because he 668 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,000 The hand on the stomach 669 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:21,000 As you said I couldn't really feel as much as 670 00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:22,000 Obviously 671 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,000 Carla was experiencing 672 00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,000 So he went into a kind of 673 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:29,000 Used to put stuff on her belly and you could see 674 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:30,000 Bubble up 675 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:33,000 But then like that was like 676 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:34,000 More 677 00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,000 I used to see that more than feeling it 678 00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:38,000 I couldn't really feel it but 679 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:39,000 I think we'll make 680 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:40,000 Because it's like 681 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,000 Because I've got the owl shape so far 682 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,000 And we've had to swap sides as well 683 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:45,000 Because 684 00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:47,000 She would normally be on the 685 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:49,000 The corner of the owl 686 00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,000 And essentially lie across 687 00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:52,000 The owl 688 00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:53,000 Whereas now 689 00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:54,000 I'm on that beat 690 00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:58,000 So because I'm already not sitting in a comfortable position 691 00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,000 Because it's not more 692 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,000 Not more normal spot 693 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:04,000 I'm having to stick my left hand to the side 694 00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,000 But instead of her coming close to me 695 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,000 She's still 696 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:11,000 Like I said we've still got the one seat gap between us 697 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:12,000 So 698 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:15,000 The left hand's out, the arm's fully extended 699 00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:17,000 And then after a couple of minutes 700 00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:19,000 My hand starts going numb, ain't it? 701 00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:20,000 Because I've got 702 00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:22,000 Like I'm having to hold my arm up 703 00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,000 Not put too much pressure on to the belly 704 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,000 Because I don't want to suffocate him 705 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:27,000 You know 706 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,000 Make him feel claustrophobic or anything 707 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,000 So it just gets awkward 708 00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:33,000 And then once my hand starts going numb 709 00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:35,000 I'm not feeling anything anywhere 710 00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:37,000 The one thing I remember from Kat of being pretty in the mask 711 00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:38,000 Is when she was 712 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:39,000 Got really big 713 00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:42,000 I used to lift the stomach up and I'd take the wire up 714 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:45,000 I remember just her used to be like 715 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,000 Mad, ain't it? 716 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:48,000 So 717 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,000 Yeah 718 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,000 I don't know, I'm ready for the chaos anyway 719 00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:53,000 Yeah 720 00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,000 Ready for a few years to be fair 721 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,000 And yes 722 00:34:57,000 --> 00:35:00,000 This leads on to some of the chaos as well to be fair 723 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:03,000 I'm ready for the nappy challenges 724 00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:06,000 I've done it before 725 00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:10,000 And with the mess that I make sometimes 726 00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:13,000 You know I'm already mentally prepared as well 727 00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:16,000 It's not so bad when they're a baby 728 00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:18,000 It's more now when you try to put them down 729 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:21,000 And they want to move or cry 730 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:23,000 Because I have to 731 00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:25,000 Put my leg over and out 732 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:26,000 Lie down 733 00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:29,000 Crippler cross face, Chris Benoit 734 00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:34,000 It's literally like I'm getting some submission move to do it 735 00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:38,000 Because she just wants to wiggle and everything 736 00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,000 But it comes 737 00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:41,000 Yeah 738 00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:45,000 Well, yeah it reminds me of 739 00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:47,000 Something that I should have said last week 740 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:50,000 But it didn't even pop into my head to be fair 741 00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,000 So as I said 742 00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:55,000 I was working in London 743 00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:59,000 And so the first 744 00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:01,000 The build of the stand 745 00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:03,000 We was there for four days 746 00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:07,000 So on the third note 747 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:09,000 We'd already 748 00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:12,000 It was a long day anyway 749 00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,000 Had a couple of beers 750 00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:17,000 And then ended up having a Chinese 751 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:20,000 Because you know why you're not having normal food 752 00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:23,000 So yeah we had a Chinese 753 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,000 I had a beef chow mein 754 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:28,000 And some salt and pepper chips 755 00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:30,000 And then yeah 756 00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:33,000 Because I'd eaten that in my room 757 00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:35,000 Chilling watching the TV 758 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:38,000 And yeah you shouldn't always trust the fart 759 00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,000 Oh no 760 00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,000 I'd shit myself in the bed 761 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,000 Luckily 762 00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:46,000 You know what 763 00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,000 The past 12 months 764 00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,000 It was coming out with you 765 00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,000 I was near for being honest 766 00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:54,000 No but the thing was I'd been farting all day 767 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,000 And it just happened to be 768 00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:58,000 I'm in bed, I've just had my Chinese 769 00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:00,000 Was it like a lug that came out or was it like 770 00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:02,000 Oh it was just a fucking liquid death 771 00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:03,000 Just a mess yeah 772 00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:05,000 Luckily I had my boxes on as well 773 00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:07,000 I mean they just went straight into the bath 774 00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:10,000 Or was fucking just washing them out with the shower 775 00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:12,000 Do you remember when we used to go to the pub 776 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:13,000 And they used to be like 777 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:15,000 Obviously just shitty boxes 778 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:16,000 Is that sort of thing 779 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:17,000 Remember when you used to see shitty boxes on the floor 780 00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:19,000 Because someone shit theirself 781 00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:21,000 Yeah I think a lot of that was the older men 782 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:24,000 Yeah like they should just shit theirself 783 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:25,000 You know what 784 00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:27,000 I remember so many times we'd be standing there 785 00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:30,000 And you'd just smell like death as if literally 786 00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:33,000 Someone's died in the fucking cellar and that 787 00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:34,000 And it was 788 00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:36,000 It was just the old boys just there 789 00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:37,000 Just all the time 790 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:40,000 And it was just because they hadn't eaten or whatever 791 00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:42,000 It was just pure alcohol shit 792 00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,000 So you 793 00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:45,000 Yeah 794 00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:46,000 Shipped myself in London 795 00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:49,000 Maybe you should need to get used to nappies as well 796 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:50,000 I was out at once 797 00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:52,000 I had to jump straight in the shower man 798 00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:53,000 Fuck you 799 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:55,000 It was terrible 800 00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:58,000 No there wasn't loads in that lot 801 00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:00,000 It was just the fact that I'd done it 802 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,000 And I'm like oh god 803 00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:04,000 I'd been following all day 804 00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,000 There was no sign of you 805 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,000 It was just fucking 806 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:10,000 Again because I'd been in my room for about 807 00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:12,000 An hour at this point 808 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:13,000 I had my food 809 00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:14,000 Chilling there watching TV 810 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,000 And so yeah 811 00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:18,000 Another fart 812 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:19,000 Bad 813 00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:20,000 I was like 814 00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:22,000 You know when you have that panic 815 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:24,000 Did I just shit myself? 816 00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:25,000 I had to stand up 817 00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:27,000 I wasn't going to put my fucking hand there 818 00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:28,000 Fucking 819 00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:29,000 Yeah just fucking 820 00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:30,000 As soon as I stood up 821 00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:31,000 I was like 822 00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:32,000 I actually have 823 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:33,000 You did shit yourself 824 00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:34,000 So that was the boxes off 825 00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:35,000 In the fucking bath 826 00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:36,000 Jumped in the shower 827 00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,000 And I was like 828 00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:40,000 I can't believe this just happened man 829 00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:42,000 34th road man 830 00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:43,000 Yeah 831 00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:44,000 Fucking 832 00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:45,000 So yeah I'm definitely ready 833 00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,000 For a shitty nappy 834 00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:51,000 No it does sound like you are mate 835 00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:53,000 I mean have you ever 836 00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:54,000 Not yourself but 837 00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,000 Have you ever just 838 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:57,000 Opened up a nappy 839 00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:58,000 And it's that bag you've just 840 00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,000 Took us straight in the shower 841 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:01,000 No 842 00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:03,000 We had one that was that bad 843 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,000 And I called Kyla 844 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,000 It literally went 845 00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:08,000 All up her back 846 00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:09,000 All up her back 847 00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:11,000 Into the back of her hair 848 00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,000 I don't even know how 849 00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:15,000 But how is that physically 850 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:16,000 It was like 851 00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,000 And I just went okay 852 00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:21,000 And then Kyla died with it 853 00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:22,000 Apart from that one 854 00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:23,000 She's been alright 855 00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:24,000 There's been a few times 856 00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:25,000 But 857 00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:28,000 Yeah 858 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,000 Yeah 859 00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,000 But I think 860 00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:33,000 Because I'm getting all the 861 00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:34,000 Nonsense already 862 00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:36,000 Hopefully by the time we get there 863 00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:39,000 Should have a proper system sorted 864 00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:42,000 Not even the discussion last night 865 00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,000 We need to swap sides of the beds 866 00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:46,000 I don't know if you're 867 00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:50,000 Used to sleeping on one side of the bed 868 00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:51,000 Predominantly anyway 869 00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:54,000 But mine's always the right hand side 870 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:57,000 It is always closest to the door as well 871 00:39:57,000 --> 00:40:01,000 But even when I'm away 872 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:04,000 As you're looking at it 873 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,000 I'm on the right hand side of the bed 874 00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,000 So if you're on the right hand side 875 00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:10,000 So if you're standing at the bottom of the bed 876 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:11,000 I'm on the left 877 00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:14,000 Mine's always the right then 878 00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:17,000 So with your room you're against the window 879 00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:18,000 Yes 880 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:19,000 So I'm on the other side 881 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:21,000 Because I'm close to the door 882 00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:23,000 But why do you need to turn sides though? 883 00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,000 Because she's on about 884 00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:27,000 When he's in his little fucking 885 00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:28,000 Side sleeper 886 00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:29,000 Yeah 887 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:31,000 If it's on her side 888 00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:33,000 He'd be next to the window 889 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:35,000 Right, right, right 890 00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,000 In the summertime it should be fine anyway 891 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,000 Because we want the window open to fucking 892 00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:40,000 Around the room and stuff 893 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:43,000 And then in a few months you should be in a travel car or 894 00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:44,000 He's on the bed 895 00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,000 Well we'll just have my mum's side 896 00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,000 No because 897 00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,000 What about when he wakes up for a feed? 898 00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,000 As long as you've pumped enough 899 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,000 Then I'll feed him for the night 900 00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:56,000 No, but I don't want you doing all this 901 00:40:56,000 --> 00:41:00,000 And look she's moaning at me because I'm offering to do all the night feeds 902 00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,000 I'm like, what's your issue? 903 00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:05,000 You know, you've got to try and get sleep as well 904 00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:06,000 I'll be awake though 905 00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:08,000 Because I'm that much of a low sleeper 906 00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:10,000 As soon as he stirs I'll be awake 907 00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:13,000 Trust me mate, as soon as his baby's out 908 00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:15,000 You're like, you want to do it tonight? 909 00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:18,000 Look, I know that it would be different when he's here and that 910 00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:21,000 But the fact that she'd moan at me for offering 911 00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:25,000 And I'm like, when he's here we'll fucking deal with that 912 00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:28,000 And then she's like, well we'll have to swap the way the bed is in the room 913 00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:30,000 I'm like, we can't, there's literally 914 00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:32,000 Because we've got the sliding wardrobes built in 915 00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:34,000 There's only one way that the room can be laid out 916 00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:36,000 I'm like, what if we do this? 917 00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:38,000 And you put the TV on the wall there 918 00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:42,000 I'm like, oh so you're going to hit your head every time you go to get your clothes out of the wardrobe? 919 00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,000 No, I'll just push it back 920 00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:48,000 Oh and then I'm going to pull the TV out off the bracket again every time we want to watch TV in bed 921 00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:51,000 Well yeah, no, not doing it 922 00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:54,000 No, I mean obviously he's always sleeping for a few months 923 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:56,000 Obviously to the summertime 924 00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,000 When he's born in the summer 925 00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:01,000 Yeah, so you know what I mean, so like the first few months to the summer isn't it? 926 00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:05,000 And then come the winter, travel car, bottom of the bed or whatever you're on 927 00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:07,000 I even said this, bottom of the bed 928 00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:09,000 She was like, what about when I wake up to go for a wee? 929 00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:11,000 Will you just move it out of the way? 930 00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:14,000 There's not a great deal of room in the bottom of our beds 931 00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:17,000 So it would just be, take a whole lot of stuff 932 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:19,000 You just push it out of the way 933 00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:21,000 What, into the bathroom and wake him up? 934 00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,000 No 935 00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,000 But you know, if you have to move it all the way 936 00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:29,000 Honestly it was just a fucking stupid conversation 937 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:31,000 It'll be fine 938 00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:37,000 But again, I can't even imagine him not being in the bed most of the time to be fair 939 00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:40,000 Especially because the dog's always up on the bed 940 00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,000 So it's just 941 00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:43,000 Yeah 942 00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:45,000 It's just probably just going to be easier 943 00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:47,000 Yeah, it's just always though, like 944 00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:49,000 It's that worried that you could roll onto 945 00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,000 It's a baby anyhow 946 00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:53,000 I mean, I think everyone just in the end 947 00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:57,000 I would go to the bed, but you just don't really sleep that well 948 00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:59,000 Knowing that 949 00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:01,000 For sex I'm like that already anyway 950 00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,000 Because I can only sleep on one of my sides 951 00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:05,000 I can't sleep on my back 952 00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:09,000 So every time I'm like, say if I'm already on my rods 953 00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:11,000 When I need to move, I'll physically wake up 954 00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:14,000 And I have to completely roll over 955 00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:19,000 And then if I'm on my left, I have to put my left arm out 956 00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:21,000 Not doing a Nazi salute on purpose 957 00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:25,000 But I put my arm underneath her pillow essentially 958 00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:26,000 And then I can have 959 00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:28,000 You can put the arm down now mate 960 00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:32,000 It's alright, the brawners are sure to notice 961 00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:36,000 The thing is because your mic's up as well 962 00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,000 The mic's to hit the tosh 963 00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:43,000 No! 964 00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:47,000 Yeah, with my arm up anyway 965 00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:49,000 And then the pillow goes onto my shoulder 966 00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:51,000 And then my head's on the pillow 967 00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:53,000 So that's how I would do it on the left 968 00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:55,000 But on the rods, I can't do that 969 00:43:55,000 --> 00:44:01,000 One, because I've got the table next to the bed 970 00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:03,000 With the clock and everything on 971 00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:05,000 And normally I'd knock a glass of water 972 00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:07,000 So if I do that, I'll end up knocking the stuff off 973 00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:10,000 Even when I've had enough room 974 00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:12,000 I just can't get comfortable like that 975 00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:15,000 So when I'm on my rods, it's literally feet up position 976 00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:19,000 So my arms tucked up, hand underneath the pillow 977 00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:22,000 With the head on top of that 978 00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:25,000 So I can literally only be in two positions 979 00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:27,000 So I have to physically wake up 980 00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:30,000 I'd like to think if he was in the middle of us 981 00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:34,000 As soon as I want to roll over, I'm waking up anyway 982 00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:36,000 And as I say, with the dog up and down 983 00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:39,000 Man, I could have fucking kicked him last night 984 00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:41,000 He was up that many times 985 00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:43,000 But as he's getting up 986 00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:46,000 Because we're leaving the window open all the time 987 00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:49,000 Because she wants it open, which I'm fine with 988 00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:51,000 But with it being cold at night 989 00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:53,000 I'm actually wanting the quilt over me 990 00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:56,000 So every time he jumped up 991 00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,000 The way he's lying 992 00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:00,000 Because he'll lie right on me 993 00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,000 And bring the quilt down 994 00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:04,000 And so fucking, oh god 995 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:06,000 And I caught it at one point 996 00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:09,000 Because I've heard him coming into the room about to jump up 997 00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:11,000 And I've whipped the blanket that much 998 00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:13,000 I've half pulled it off the missus 999 00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:15,000 So then I'm having to shuffle him around 1000 00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:17,000 So I can push the blanket back on top of that 1001 00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:19,000 And I'm like, for fuck's sake, man 1002 00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,000 So even when I got up this morning 1003 00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:23,000 I was like, mate, you're not coming on again 1004 00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:25,000 Because he's looking at me 1005 00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:27,000 Because he either 1006 00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:29,000 Most of the time he'll want to go straight out 1007 00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:31,000 But sometimes he'll want to come up for a final putt 1008 00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:33,000 Or before we get up properly 1009 00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:35,000 And he's looking at me for that cut 1010 00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:37,000 I'm like, no, mate, you're not coming up, man 1011 00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:39,000 You've done my head in and all that 1012 00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:41,000 And the missus is like, what's the matter with you? 1013 00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:43,000 Don't worry about it, it doesn't matter 1014 00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:45,000 I'm just fucking tired and I've got to sleep 1015 00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:47,000 Leave me alone 1016 00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:51,000 So we're going to fucking 1017 00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:53,000 Start rolling through some of these, aren't we? 1018 00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:55,000 Right, let's go 1019 00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:58,000 So let's get James out of the way 1020 00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:02,000 Back with the shit 1021 00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:04,000 But not as short as you know it again 1022 00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:06,000 Or I'll 1023 00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:10,000 Yeah, saying James 1024 00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:12,000 Again, yeah, there's not much to say about 1025 00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:14,000 But Wadden's there 1026 00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,000 I don't think he's our number one fan 1027 00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:18,000 I think he's your number one fan 1028 00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:20,000 Mattie Loftman, I'll make his way called 1029 00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:22,000 Probably not as much as a Liverpooler 1030 00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:24,000 But yeah, we can't always 1031 00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:26,000 All have a fucking 1032 00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,000 Gerrard poster on our wall, though, can we? 1033 00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:30,000 Fucking 1034 00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:32,000 Yeah 1035 00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:34,000 FA Cup weekends 1036 00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:36,000 United Leicester tonight 1037 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,000 Liverpool, I believe 1038 00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:40,000 We've got Leighton, Oriental 1039 00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:42,000 I'm not sure, I'm not on 1040 00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:44,000 I know Birmingham's got Newcastle 1041 00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:46,000 Tomorrow 1042 00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:48,000 Well, that's what I was about to say, in general 1043 00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:50,000 For the Premier League teams 1044 00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:52,000 It's easy games 1045 00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:54,000 I thought Liverpool was playing Everton 1046 00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:56,000 Am I wrong in saying that? 1047 00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:58,000 I thought they were playing their miss game 1048 00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:00,000 That made me get confused 1049 00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:02,000 I'm sure, I mean, I'll get it up now 1050 00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:06,000 So, yeah 1051 00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:08,000 Cos we're eight o'clock tonight 1052 00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:10,000 Oh no, Leighton, Oriental against Man City 1053 00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:12,000 Everton with Bournemouth 1054 00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:14,000 OK 1055 00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:16,000 So it must be Sunday 1056 00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:18,000 That Liverpool are on 1057 00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:20,000 So Liverpool have got Plymouth then 1058 00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:22,000 So I've got the two mixed up 1059 00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,000 But, well, Villa and Tottenham 1060 00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:26,000 And Sunday as well 1061 00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:28,000 So that's 1062 00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:30,000 I mean 1063 00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:32,000 Again, it's 1064 00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:34,000 That's an easy game 1065 00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:36,000 Then 1066 00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:38,000 You know, I'll say it really 1067 00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:40,000 Cos United are only a couple of places above Leicester 1068 00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:42,000 With the way they've played so far this season 1069 00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:44,000 I feel that 1070 00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:46,000 They're still doing well enough, Tottenham are lower than 1071 00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,000 You know, in the league as well 1072 00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:50,000 I've just seen that tonight at eight o'clock 1073 00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:52,000 There's a game on at eight o'clock tomorrow 1074 00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:54,000 What, with the FA Cup? 1075 00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:56,000 That's unusual, Brighton Chelsea are at eight o'clock 1076 00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:58,000 Er 1077 00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:00,000 It's a bit of like one on four Saturday 1078 00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:02,000 But they did that the other week as well 1079 00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:04,000 Was it the Fulham game wasn't it? 1080 00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:06,000 Yeah, fucking, I hate the late 1081 00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:08,000 Kick-offs, well it's bad enough in the week 1082 00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:10,000 But you don't need it during the week 1083 00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:12,000 On the weekend, cos 1084 00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:14,000 You think 1085 00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:16,000 Er, the Chelsea fans 1086 00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:18,000 I mean, they're not going to be able to sing 1087 00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:20,000 The one and only chant are though 1088 00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:22,000 Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea 1089 00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:24,000 They're all going to be lagging from fucking 1090 00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:26,000 To a block anyway 1091 00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:28,000 Brighton fans 1092 00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:30,000 The ones that are actually travelling 1093 00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:32,000 Direct 1094 00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:34,000 Well, they're not on a shared coach or anything 1095 00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:36,000 They're not going to be able to fucking 1096 00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:38,000 Have a drink at all then 1097 00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:40,000 Even the Villa games tomorrow 1098 00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:42,000 It's 5.34 1099 00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:44,000 A bit of an unusual 1100 00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:46,000 Time as well 1101 00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:48,000 Er 1102 00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:50,000 Well, do you mean the Blues guy? 1103 00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:52,000 Blues, Newcastle, 4-6 1104 00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:54,000 I mean Sunday, sorry 1105 00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:56,000 Sunday, the Villa game, 5.35 1106 00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:58,000 35 or 45? 1107 00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:00,000 It says 34 or more 1108 00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:02,000 5.35 1109 00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:04,000 Cos Blues, Newcastle is 5.45 1110 00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:06,000 Yeah, so yeah that's 1111 00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:08,000 For Saturday then on Sunday 1112 00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:10,000 Oh yeah, 35 1113 00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:12,000 It's a weird time isn't it? 1114 00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:14,000 There must be some like 1115 00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:16,000 Remembrance thing going on there 1116 00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:18,000 For it not to be half 1117 00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:20,000 Past 1118 00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:22,000 There must be something like a 1119 00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,000 A minute silence of some sort 1120 00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:26,000 Or a little pride or something 1121 00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:28,000 I'll have to do my research on that 1122 00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:30,000 So yeah 1123 00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:32,000 Easy game for Liverpool this weekend 1124 00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:34,000 I mean to be fair 1125 00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:36,000 You know, it'd need to go all out on the FA Cup again 1126 00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:38,000 With how bad it is in the 1127 00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:40,000 Prep, they've only got two chances of 1128 00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:42,000 Getting into European football and 1129 00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:44,000 That's how we did it last season while winning the FA Cup 1130 00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:46,000 So yeah 1131 00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:48,000 Well 1132 00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:50,000 The leagues are all top of the show 1133 00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:52,000 Anyway, so 1134 00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:54,000 It cracks me up 1135 00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:56,000 Cos I don't know if you've seen any of 1136 00:49:56,000 --> 00:49:58,000 The press conferences 1137 00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:00,000 But Amrin has always been asked 1138 00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:02,000 Like three, four times 1139 00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:04,000 Like each press 1140 00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:06,000 Conference about Rashford 1141 00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:08,000 Why you're not playing in 1142 00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:10,000 Why you're not in the squad and whatever 1143 00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:12,000 Then even the other day, so obviously he's gone to 1144 00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,000 Villa on loan, straight away first question 1145 00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:16,000 About Rashford 1146 00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:18,000 And he was, look 1147 00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:20,000 He's in Birmingham now 1148 00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:22,000 Take your questions to Oon on because 1149 00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:24,000 I'm concentrating on the players that I've got there 1150 00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:26,000 So it's just fucking ridiculous 1151 00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:28,000 But the British press 1152 00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,000 Are so poor 1153 00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:32,000 With lot asking questions 1154 00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:34,000 And that 1155 00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:36,000 I remember a couple of seasons ago it was constantly asking questions 1156 00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:38,000 About fucking Harry Maguire 1157 00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:40,000 There's no need, there's more than 1158 00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:42,000 One player in the team 1159 00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:44,000 So 1160 00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:46,000 Yeah, well as I said we're not a football podcast 1161 00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:50,000 Yeah, it's just fucking 1162 00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:54,000 It's just annoying being a man you know 1163 00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:56,000 That's the only problem 1164 00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:02,000 Now I did ask you last week 1165 00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:04,000 Cos we've got 1166 00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:06,000 On a new section 1167 00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:08,000 New world order 1168 00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:12,000 Oh, choo choo choo 1169 00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,000 So 1170 00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:16,000 You're gonna have to remember that every week now when you 1171 00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:18,000 Do that 1172 00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:20,000 I'll have to record it 1173 00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:22,000 So 1174 00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:24,000 The three's gonna be 1175 00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:26,000 One of our own every week anyway 1176 00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:28,000 But the one that I just 1177 00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:30,000 Want to get it started off with 1178 00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:32,000 So 1179 00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:34,000 New world order for anyone that 1180 00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:36,000 Doesn't remember or if you are new 1181 00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:38,000 Inspired from 1182 00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:40,000 The man, the myth, the legend 1183 00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:42,000 Donald Trump 1184 00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:44,000 The way he's just coming in and he's just smashing everything out of the park 1185 00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:46,000 So yes, this is gonna happen 1186 00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:48,000 No, that's gonna change 1187 00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:50,000 But even this week 1188 00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:52,000 I think it was yesterday 1189 00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:54,000 Banning transgender people 1190 00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:56,000 In the women's sports 1191 00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:58,000 And I caught a little bit 1192 00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:00,000 I think it's Jeremy Vine 1193 00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:02,000 On channel four or five 1194 00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:04,000 Whatever it is earlier 1195 00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:06,000 And he's just moaning about it 1196 00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:08,000 While you're moaning about it 1197 00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:10,000 He's done the right thing 1198 00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:12,000 And now you're moaning 1199 00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:14,000 And she was like, well, you know, he's only American 1200 00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:16,000 And now he's done that 1201 00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:18,000 So that means the whole world of transgenders 1202 00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:20,000 Can't compete 1203 00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:22,000 Give him the wrong category 1204 00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:24,000 Like the Special Olympics 1205 00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:26,000 That's the way it needs to be 1206 00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:28,000 Yeah 1207 00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:30,000 Which I know 1208 00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:32,000 They'll kick off about that 1209 00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:34,000 Because it's grading them 1210 00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:36,000 Or something because they're in their own 1211 00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:37,000 Fucking 1212 00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:39,000 But essentially you can't cheat then 1213 00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:41,000 You're all back to a level playing field 1214 00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:43,000 Because he was whipping out the stats 1215 00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:45,000 Of fucking 1216 00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,000 Cycling 1217 00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:49,000 Whatever cycling competition 1218 00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:51,000 I didn't even know Americans did cycling to be fair 1219 00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:53,000 Outside of France 1220 00:52:53,000 --> 00:52:55,000 So yeah, the one that they did 1221 00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:57,000 With the women's trans person 1222 00:52:57,000 --> 00:52:59,000 Smashed the world record 1223 00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:01,000 For five and a half hours 1224 00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:03,000 Yeah, yeah, yeah 1225 00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:05,000 I didn't even know 1226 00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:07,000 I think it was something like an 800 mile 1227 00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:09,000 Fucking thing as well 1228 00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:11,000 Smashed it by five and a half hours 1229 00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:13,000 How slow were women on bikes 1230 00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:15,000 It just goes to prove the difference 1231 00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:17,000 It shows the difference 1232 00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:19,000 Fucking 1233 00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:21,000 Women on bikes 1234 00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:23,000 So people were shocked about that 1235 00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:25,000 When he read that 1236 00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:27,000 With the women's weightlifting 1237 00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:29,000 They smashed it by 400 pounds or something 1238 00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:31,000 And it's just ridiculous 1239 00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:33,000 No, it's unfair on women 1240 00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:35,000 Yeah, that's all it is 1241 00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:37,000 It's like, either way someone's going to be upset 1242 00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:39,000 Do you want to upset the women 1243 00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:41,000 Or the trans community 1244 00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:43,000 Whatever 1245 00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:45,000 You've got to make a choice 1246 00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:47,000 Either way, because women are not happy that 1247 00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:49,000 These people are competing in the change room 1248 00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:51,000 So something had to be done 1249 00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:53,000 I think you've done the right thing as you said 1250 00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:55,000 If they want it, just give them their own 1251 00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:57,000 Transgender 1252 00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,000 Whatever thing 1253 00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:01,000 It will end up creating more money 1254 00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:03,000 Opportunities 1255 00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:05,000 I don't think many people watch 1256 00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:07,000 Or go, and then you'll see 1257 00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:09,000 That's literally 1258 00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:11,000 So I was going to lead on to that 1259 00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:13,000 So say for the first 1260 00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:15,000 Next Olympics 1261 00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:17,000 They'll do their own one 1262 00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:19,000 So how the Special Olympics is 1263 00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:21,000 A continuation from 1264 00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:23,000 The normal Olympics 1265 00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:25,000 They'll do that 1266 00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:27,000 There'll be a hype about it 1267 00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:29,000 The media agenda will be there 1268 00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:31,000 This is amazing 1269 00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:33,000 This is what we need and whatever 1270 00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:35,000 And then you'll see 1271 00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:37,000 How women's football was 1272 00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:39,000 It's a lot better now 1273 00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:41,000 Next to no one in the crowds 1274 00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:43,000 All dead quiet 1275 00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:45,000 And just poor standards 1276 00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:47,000 And 1277 00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:49,000 They'll probably try once or twice 1278 00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:51,000 And then be like, alright 1279 00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:53,000 We need to just chin this off 1280 00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:55,000 So yeah 1281 00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:57,000 Essentially from that 1282 00:54:57,000 --> 00:54:59,000 The question goes out to your 1283 00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:01,000 Well not question 1284 00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:03,000 But the statement 1285 00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:05,000 So you can all send in yours 1286 00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:07,000 If you can create rules 1287 00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:09,000 Change anything you want 1288 00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:11,000 It doesn't have to be political 1289 00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:13,000 It can be something just funny 1290 00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:15,000 Or just random 1291 00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:17,000 So yeah, send them in 1292 00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:19,000 A couple of years have 1293 00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:21,000 I'm going to start off with more one 1294 00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:23,000 My new world order 1295 00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:25,000 Would be regular checks 1296 00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:27,000 On the people doing the road works 1297 00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:29,000 So essentially 1298 00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:31,000 A proper time scale 1299 00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:33,000 A schedule of works is sorted 1300 00:55:33,000 --> 00:55:35,000 And then just 1301 00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:37,000 If you're driving along 1302 00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:39,000 Like you're an inspector 1303 00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:41,000 You're driving along, you see that 1304 00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:43,000 There's not enough people 1305 00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:45,000 Doing the job or anything 1306 00:55:45,000 --> 00:55:47,000 Or when you see there's five people standing around the hole 1307 00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:49,000 With one person in there 1308 00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:51,000 So you pull up 1309 00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:53,000 And you're like, hang on lads 1310 00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:55,000 Let's see your schedule of work 1311 00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:57,000 Why aren't you doing something 1312 00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:59,000 Why are you standing around this person in the hole 1313 00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:01,000 Is that Lily Phillips in there or whatever 1314 00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:03,000 Funny blue 1315 00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:05,000 So 1316 00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:07,000 And then 1317 00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:09,000 When they're not doing it 1318 00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:11,000 Even if we're in the 1319 00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:13,000 Time scale at the moment 1320 00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:15,000 If you can physically see that not enough work's 1321 00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:17,000 Being done to make it be 1322 00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:19,000 Completely quicker 1323 00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:21,000 Still hand out a fine 1324 00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:23,000 So if they're given a month 1325 00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:25,000 Of a time scale 1326 00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:27,000 And they're only taking that month 1327 00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:29,000 Then yeah, sound 1328 00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:31,000 But they get it done in 1329 00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:33,000 Three weeks then 1330 00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:35,000 Give them a little bonus there 1331 00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:37,000 So an incentive slash 1332 00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:39,000 A penalty 1333 00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:41,000 For not getting it done quick enough as well 1334 00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:43,000 Because it is just ridiculous 1335 00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:45,000 We're coming through 1336 00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:47,000 For the HS2 bit 1337 00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:49,000 Of the road 1338 00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:51,000 To come here 1339 00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:53,000 It was trying to snow when I left mine 1340 00:56:53,000 --> 00:56:55,000 Mad 1341 00:56:55,000 --> 00:56:57,000 But yeah, looking HS2 bit 1342 00:56:57,000 --> 00:56:59,000 So it's already 1343 00:56:59,000 --> 00:57:01,000 Technically road works because of the stuff that they do 1344 00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:03,000 Then one bit, it's down to one lane 1345 00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:05,000 Temporary traffic 1346 00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:07,000 You've got all this space 1347 00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:09,000 Why have you got to come onto the road that's not long been finished 1348 00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:11,000 And adjusted 1349 00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:13,000 Why have you got to come back onto it to dig another hole 1350 00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:15,000 What was that hole and whatever work you're doing 1351 00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:17,000 Not already done before that road was built 1352 00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:19,000 Just fucking stupid 1353 00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:21,000 So I can see a couple of things 1354 00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:23,000 Added onto it now, there's some blue and red 1355 00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:25,000 Structures, don't know what they're for 1356 00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:27,000 You know, they're new in the last couple of weeks 1357 00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:29,000 That is anyway 1358 00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:31,000 Some progression, but it ain't going to be done by 1359 00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:33,000 The end of March 1360 00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:35,000 Fucking no chance, because that's what the songs are saying 1361 00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:37,000 But no, not going to happen 1362 00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:41,000 So we've got one from Alan 1363 00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:45,000 His new world order would be 1364 00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:47,000 Everyone gets a free car wash 1365 00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:49,000 After the salt gritters have been out 1366 00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:51,000 Yeah, that's a good one 1367 00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:53,000 It is a good shout 1368 00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:55,000 I've got a white van 1369 00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:57,000 Proper van 1370 00:57:57,000 --> 00:57:59,000 You see it the next day, it's all grimy 1371 00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:01,000 It looks like I've drove through mud 1372 00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:03,000 But I haven't 1373 00:58:03,000 --> 00:58:05,000 That's a good one, that is Alan 1374 00:58:05,000 --> 00:58:07,000 Yeah, so 1375 00:58:07,000 --> 00:58:09,000 We love that, that's the kind of one that we want 1376 00:58:11,000 --> 00:58:13,000 Another one car related as well 1377 00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:15,000 I didn't mean it 1378 00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:17,000 To all three of them 1379 00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:19,000 Be car related 1380 00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:21,000 Lawrence says 1381 00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:23,000 As long as you can justify 1382 00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:25,000 And give good reasons to why 1383 00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:27,000 You can crash 1384 00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:29,000 Slash bump into another vehicle 1385 00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:31,000 Once every three to five years 1386 00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:33,000 And still be able to claim 1387 00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:35,000 On your insurance 1388 00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:39,000 Because sometimes, some people need 1389 00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:41,000 A bit of a fucking nudge 1390 00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:43,000 I do get it 1391 00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:45,000 The amount of times I've been driving 1392 00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:47,000 I thought this wasn't my vehicle 1393 00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:49,000 If it needed to work, whatever 1394 00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:51,000 I just fucking wrote that on my car 1395 00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:53,000 So I do get that 1396 00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:55,000 I'm guessing she 1397 00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:57,000 Experienced a little bit of road rage 1398 00:58:57,000 --> 00:58:59,000 Prior to racing that out 1399 00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:01,000 But yeah 1400 00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:03,000 I do like that 1401 00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:07,000 Because some of them do 1402 00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:09,000 Especially 1403 00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:11,000 You drive you 1404 00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:13,000 We all need to follow the speed limits 1405 00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:15,000 You can't do 35 in a 30 1406 00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:17,000 You've got to stick to 30 1407 00:59:17,000 --> 00:59:19,000 But when people are doing 20 in a 30 1408 00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:21,000 They're the kind of ones 1409 00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:23,000 Where you should just be able to 1410 00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:25,000 As if you're in the bumper cars 1411 00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:27,000 Just give a little bit of a nudge 1412 00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:29,000 Go on, move forward 1413 00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:33,000 I think there would be a lot of logistics 1414 00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:35,000 To it really 1415 00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:37,000 Because if it is a situation where you're already going over 30 1416 00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:41,000 Then accidents 1417 00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:43,000 Or proper accidents could happen 1418 00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:45,000 There could be injuries and deaths 1419 00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:47,000 So maybe if you 1420 00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:49,000 Set traffic lights 1421 00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:51,000 And you just slowly turn into someone 1422 00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:53,000 Instead of just giving the road rage 1423 00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:55,000 Or a little thumbs down or go 1424 00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:57,000 All of that to do 1425 00:59:57,000 --> 00:59:59,000 Just a little turning 1426 00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:01,000 Little nudge 1427 01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:03,000 It'd be good, you know 1428 01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:05,000 Every car used to have one 1429 01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:07,000 One of them was called RV things 1430 01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:09,000 You know when you talk to them 1431 01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:11,000 Like a megaphone 1432 01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:13,000 Literally you could put the rage in the car 1433 01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:15,000 That you want to speak to 1434 01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:17,000 You prick 1435 01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:19,000 What, what? 1436 01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:21,000 Just imagine they're driving the line 1437 01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:23,000 Over the fuck up 1438 01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:25,000 But again I suppose you could do that 1439 01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:27,000 Just bluetooth any 1440 01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:29,000 It'd be able to just take over their radio 1441 01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:31,000 Just give them a load of shit 1442 01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:33,000 And then just fuck you 1443 01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:35,000 You know what, I'm surprised that isn't a bing 1444 01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:37,000 I don't know if it's like a rage thing 1445 01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:39,000 Or maybe like when you're in distance 1446 01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:41,000 You can just, the reds just come up so you just press it 1447 01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:43,000 And go, oi, you 1448 01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:45,000 Hurry the fuck up 1449 01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:47,000 But then there'd be some hands free laws about that 1450 01:00:47,000 --> 01:00:49,000 That you're not allowed to fuck you 1451 01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:51,000 See that always cracks me up 1452 01:00:51,000 --> 01:00:53,000 Because you can't touch your mobile 1453 01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:55,000 Which you shouldn't though, I'm not condoning it 1454 01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:57,000 You can't send a text message in that 1455 01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:59,000 But you can adjust the radio 1456 01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:01,000 And then with the tesla's and whatever 1457 01:01:01,000 --> 01:01:03,000 Because you're not touching your phone 1458 01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:05,000 You're not breaking the law 1459 01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:07,000 It's mad, any 1460 01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:09,000 But yeah, if there was just a quick connect 1461 01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:11,000 Like a tesla share 1462 01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:13,000 So if you're in a tesla as well 1463 01:01:13,000 --> 01:01:15,000 Just like fucking blue tesla next to me 1464 01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:17,000 Oi, you're fucking driving like a cunt 1465 01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:19,000 Stop being a dickhead 1466 01:01:19,000 --> 01:01:21,000 Maybe get on to some scientists 1467 01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:23,000 And invent that 1468 01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:25,000 Well we'll have to, we just come up with the idea 1469 01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:27,000 We need to stop sharing 1470 01:01:27,000 --> 01:01:29,000 Patterns, it's trademarked already 1471 01:01:29,000 --> 01:01:31,000 Which sort of goes 1472 01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:33,000 We had so many ideas 1473 01:01:33,000 --> 01:01:35,000 Back in the day, we're not going to give them all away again 1474 01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:37,000 You don't know, you need to go back and listen 1475 01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:39,000 To the old episodes 1476 01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:43,000 We've got enough time 1477 01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:45,000 Just about, so we will 1478 01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:47,000 Get on to the old confessions 1479 01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:49,000 Right 1480 01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:51,000 Ash, Barbara Ash needs to 1481 01:01:51,000 --> 01:01:53,000 Get his messages up 1482 01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:55,000 I need to 1483 01:01:55,000 --> 01:01:57,000 Get off the country hits 1484 01:01:57,000 --> 01:01:59,000 The playlist that I've got 1485 01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:01,000 Where's it gone 1486 01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:03,000 It's got to have the jingle mate 1487 01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:05,000 It should 1488 01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:07,000 There it is 1489 01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:09,000 Or at least you want to do it like you did your new world order 1490 01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:11,000 Right 1491 01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:13,000 Confession one 1492 01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:15,000 I'm 17 1493 01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:17,000 And haven't showered in about a month 1494 01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:19,000 Is this bad 1495 01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:23,000 No I'm not coughing because of the stench 1496 01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:25,000 It is bad 1497 01:02:25,000 --> 01:02:27,000 Just a month is boy 1498 01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:29,000 And you will see 1499 01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:31,000 That you're not going to get a shower 1500 01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:33,000 And you're not going to get a shower 1501 01:02:33,000 --> 01:02:35,000 And you're not going to get a shower 1502 01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:37,000 And you're not going to get a shower 1503 01:02:37,000 --> 01:02:39,000 And you will smell 1504 01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:41,000 And other people will smell you 1505 01:02:41,000 --> 01:02:43,000 It is bad 1506 01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:45,000 I don't think I ever really 1507 01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:47,000 Had that phase when I was younger 1508 01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:49,000 I mean he's 17 1509 01:02:49,000 --> 01:02:51,000 He's not like 7 1510 01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:53,000 17 mate 1511 01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:55,000 Kid or 1512 01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:57,000 Teenage or not I don't think I ever had that 1513 01:02:57,000 --> 01:02:59,000 Phase 1514 01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:01,000 Always the opposite 1515 01:03:01,000 --> 01:03:03,000 We're still on the same 1516 01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:05,000 Every day 1517 01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:07,000 I mean I've had it when 1518 01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:09,000 I've gone a couple of days without doing it 1519 01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:11,000 You know Salve I've not been working 1520 01:03:11,000 --> 01:03:13,000 I've just been in the house 1521 01:03:13,000 --> 01:03:15,000 For a couple of days not doing anything 1522 01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:17,000 Then I've not had a shower 1523 01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:19,000 But on the other hand if I've been in the house 1524 01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:21,000 Not doing anything 1525 01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:23,000 I'll know if I smell 1526 01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:25,000 And then I've had a shower 1527 01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:27,000 So look before we don't shower today 1528 01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:29,000 Tomorrow I'll wake up in a month 1529 01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:31,000 I've got to have a shower I need to have a shower 1530 01:03:31,000 --> 01:03:33,000 I'm feeling 1531 01:03:33,000 --> 01:03:35,000 A lot of finished lights 1532 01:03:35,000 --> 01:03:37,000 I've basically gone straight to bed 1533 01:03:37,000 --> 01:03:39,000 Then I'll shower first in the morning 1534 01:03:39,000 --> 01:03:41,000 But I always prefer to shower on the night 1535 01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:43,000 Because I don't like getting into the bed dirty 1536 01:03:43,000 --> 01:03:45,000 Because I feel like I need to clean my sheets quicker then as well 1537 01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:47,000 Right but 1538 01:03:47,000 --> 01:03:49,000 Is that bad though? 1539 01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:51,000 There's no point beating around the bush 1540 01:03:51,000 --> 01:03:53,000 Have a bath you smelly bastard 1541 01:03:53,000 --> 01:03:55,000 Yeah 1542 01:03:55,000 --> 01:03:57,000 It's terrible 1543 01:03:57,000 --> 01:03:59,000 Confession 2 in this one is a long one 1544 01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:01,000 And bear with me in case 1545 01:04:01,000 --> 01:04:03,000 I do laugh 1546 01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:05,000 Because he is a little bit dyslexic as well 1547 01:04:05,000 --> 01:04:07,000 It's not just that though mate 1548 01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:09,000 Sometimes I laugh and then I can't get the composure 1549 01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:11,000 You lose your track 1550 01:04:11,000 --> 01:04:13,000 Do you need to put your glasses on? 1551 01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:15,000 Nah 1552 01:04:15,000 --> 01:04:17,000 So confession 2 1553 01:04:17,000 --> 01:04:19,000 My son had 1554 01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:21,000 See look it's the wording as well 1555 01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:23,000 My son had overheard me being 1556 01:04:23,000 --> 01:04:25,000 Fucked 1557 01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:27,000 Shouldn't that be hot? 1558 01:04:27,000 --> 01:04:29,000 No no that is crap 1559 01:04:29,000 --> 01:04:31,000 Is that the right way to say that? 1560 01:04:31,000 --> 01:04:33,000 I don't think it needed to have 1561 01:04:33,000 --> 01:04:35,000 My son 1562 01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:37,000 My son overheard 1563 01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:39,000 Not had overheard 1564 01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:41,000 Right so anyway my son had 1565 01:04:41,000 --> 01:04:43,000 Overheard me being fucked 1566 01:04:43,000 --> 01:04:45,000 I'm a divorced mom 1567 01:04:45,000 --> 01:04:47,000 And I have an 18 year old son 1568 01:04:47,000 --> 01:04:49,000 Who is currently attending college 1569 01:04:49,000 --> 01:04:51,000 I've been 1570 01:04:51,000 --> 01:04:53,000 Very sexually starved 1571 01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:55,000 After my divorce 1572 01:04:55,000 --> 01:04:57,000 I try my best to have my sexual needs 1573 01:04:57,000 --> 01:04:59,000 Met privately and discreetly 1574 01:04:59,000 --> 01:05:01,000 So whenever I'm masturbating 1575 01:05:01,000 --> 01:05:03,000 Inside my bedroom 1576 01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:05,000 Having sex with strangers 1577 01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:07,000 I try to make sure my son is not around 1578 01:05:07,000 --> 01:05:09,000 But this time 1579 01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:11,000 Something totally unexpected happened 1580 01:05:11,000 --> 01:05:13,000 I really thought he was at his 1581 01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:15,000 Dad's place 1582 01:05:15,000 --> 01:05:17,000 I had a guy come over and we had wine 1583 01:05:17,000 --> 01:05:19,000 And then we fucked like rabbits 1584 01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:21,000 I had so much 1585 01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:23,000 Fun I was extremely loud 1586 01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:25,000 I enjoy being 1587 01:05:25,000 --> 01:05:27,000 Smissive 1588 01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:29,000 And I had the guy spank me really hard 1589 01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:31,000 And I was calling 1590 01:05:31,000 --> 01:05:33,000 Him daddy in the heat 1591 01:05:33,000 --> 01:05:35,000 Of sex 1592 01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:37,000 After the fun was over I walked out 1593 01:05:37,000 --> 01:05:39,000 Of the bedroom completely naked 1594 01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:41,000 And sent him off 1595 01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:43,000 As soon as the guy left my son came 1596 01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:45,000 Out of his bedroom 1597 01:05:45,000 --> 01:05:47,000 My whole body froze out of sheer embarrassment 1598 01:05:47,000 --> 01:05:49,000 He said he texted me 1599 01:05:49,000 --> 01:05:51,000 That he was not going to his 1600 01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:53,000 Dad's place today but I didn't see the 1601 01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:55,000 Text 1602 01:05:55,000 --> 01:05:57,000 I ran back 1603 01:05:57,000 --> 01:05:59,000 Into my bedroom 1604 01:05:59,000 --> 01:06:01,000 To grab a towel to wrap around my body 1605 01:06:01,000 --> 01:06:03,000 And then I came out 1606 01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:05,000 And apologised to him and he said he 1607 01:06:05,000 --> 01:06:07,000 Didn't mind at all 1608 01:06:07,000 --> 01:06:09,000 So obviously 1609 01:06:09,000 --> 01:06:11,000 Sometimes I have to read 1610 01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:13,000 Ahead with my eyes 1611 01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:15,000 I'm not laughing 1612 01:06:15,000 --> 01:06:17,000 I'm trying to look ahead 1613 01:06:17,000 --> 01:06:19,000 Of what's being said 1614 01:06:19,000 --> 01:06:21,000 So I'm done first I'm laughing 1615 01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:23,000 So 1616 01:06:23,000 --> 01:06:25,000 My whole body froze out of sheer embarrassment 1617 01:06:25,000 --> 01:06:27,000 He said he texted me 1618 01:06:27,000 --> 01:06:29,000 That he was not going to his Dad's place 1619 01:06:29,000 --> 01:06:31,000 But I didn't see the text 1620 01:06:31,000 --> 01:06:33,000 But the fact that she's already walked out 1621 01:06:33,000 --> 01:06:35,000 Stand there 1622 01:06:35,000 --> 01:06:37,000 He's explained that he sent a text 1623 01:06:37,000 --> 01:06:39,000 Then she's ran off to get the fucking towel 1624 01:06:39,000 --> 01:06:41,000 Wrapped around her 1625 01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:43,000 So after the fun was over 1626 01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:45,000 I walked out of the bedroom completely naked 1627 01:06:45,000 --> 01:06:47,000 And sent him off 1628 01:06:47,000 --> 01:06:49,000 As soon as the guy left my son came 1629 01:06:49,000 --> 01:06:51,000 Out of his bedroom 1630 01:06:51,000 --> 01:06:53,000 My body froze out of sheer embarrassment 1631 01:06:53,000 --> 01:06:55,000 So the thing is 1632 01:06:55,000 --> 01:06:57,000 I ran back into the bedroom 1633 01:06:57,000 --> 01:06:59,000 To grab a towel to wrap around my body 1634 01:06:59,000 --> 01:07:01,000 And then I came out and apologised to him 1635 01:07:01,000 --> 01:07:03,000 And he said he didn't mind 1636 01:07:03,000 --> 01:07:05,000 It at all 1637 01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:07,000 I'm super embarrassed of course 1638 01:07:07,000 --> 01:07:09,000 But this is just weird from the lad to be honest 1639 01:07:09,000 --> 01:07:11,000 Yeah if he didn't mind it 1640 01:07:11,000 --> 01:07:13,000 To me that makes it sound like he's there 1641 01:07:13,000 --> 01:07:15,000 In the bedroom 1642 01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:17,000 Choking the chicken 1643 01:07:17,000 --> 01:07:19,000 So yeah so going back 1644 01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:21,000 I walked out of the bedroom completely naked 1645 01:07:21,000 --> 01:07:23,000 And sent him off 1646 01:07:23,000 --> 01:07:25,000 As soon as the guy left my son came out of his bedroom 1647 01:07:25,000 --> 01:07:27,000 My whole body froze out of sheer embarrassment 1648 01:07:27,000 --> 01:07:29,000 He said he texted me 1649 01:07:29,000 --> 01:07:31,000 That he was not going to his Dad's place today 1650 01:07:31,000 --> 01:07:33,000 But I didn't see the text 1651 01:07:33,000 --> 01:07:35,000 I ran into my bedroom to grab a towel 1652 01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:37,000 To wrap around my body 1653 01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:39,000 So... 1654 01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:41,000 Firstly, fair do's 1655 01:07:41,000 --> 01:07:43,000 You're getting out there, you're getting some 1656 01:07:43,000 --> 01:07:45,000 But that's just 1657 01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:47,000 I don't know, just be more aware 1658 01:07:47,000 --> 01:07:49,000 Er... 1659 01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:51,000 And have a word with your son 1660 01:07:51,000 --> 01:07:53,000 That he just seems wrong 1661 01:07:53,000 --> 01:07:55,000 Like I don't mind 1662 01:07:55,000 --> 01:07:57,000 But he should mind 1663 01:07:57,000 --> 01:07:59,000 It's just 1664 01:07:59,000 --> 01:08:01,000 Unless, because it's already 1665 01:08:01,000 --> 01:08:03,000 A long enough story as it is 1666 01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:05,000 They've not added too much data 1667 01:08:05,000 --> 01:08:07,000 You would assume he would have heard 1668 01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:09,000 And done the most 1669 01:08:09,000 --> 01:08:11,000 Like the thing and just left 1670 01:08:11,000 --> 01:08:13,000 Yeah, well 1671 01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:15,000 If we was the son 1672 01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:17,000 And that was going on 1673 01:08:17,000 --> 01:08:19,000 Then you 1674 01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:21,000 Firstly, you'd start making noise 1675 01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:23,000 Like you'd slam your bedroom door or something 1676 01:08:23,000 --> 01:08:25,000 On back, yeah 1677 01:08:25,000 --> 01:08:27,000 As soon as it starts happening 1678 01:08:27,000 --> 01:08:29,000 Like you wouldn't fucking 1679 01:08:29,000 --> 01:08:31,000 Be in your bedroom 1680 01:08:31,000 --> 01:08:33,000 Like just trying to watch TV or 1681 01:08:33,000 --> 01:08:35,000 Like pillow over your head or anything while you're here 1682 01:08:35,000 --> 01:08:37,000 Spam my daddy 1683 01:08:37,000 --> 01:08:39,000 Yeah 1684 01:08:39,000 --> 01:08:41,000 You'd have to 1685 01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:43,000 Like make it known that you're there 1686 01:08:43,000 --> 01:08:45,000 Yeah 1687 01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:47,000 And none of these like just sending a text 1688 01:08:47,000 --> 01:08:49,000 And was the text sent before 1689 01:08:49,000 --> 01:08:51,000 It all happened 1690 01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:53,000 Or during 1691 01:08:53,000 --> 01:08:55,000 Like I'm at home 1692 01:08:55,000 --> 01:08:57,000 Because if it was during and he sent the text like I haven't gone to dad's 1693 01:08:57,000 --> 01:08:59,000 Then he should have put more effort 1694 01:08:59,000 --> 01:09:01,000 Into making it known that he was at home 1695 01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:03,000 The whole story is a little bit incest-sesty 1696 01:09:03,000 --> 01:09:05,000 Isn't it? 1697 01:09:05,000 --> 01:09:07,000 The fact that she walked out naked 1698 01:09:07,000 --> 01:09:09,000 And then he was like 1699 01:09:09,000 --> 01:09:11,000 And I would have been like 1700 01:09:11,000 --> 01:09:13,000 Right away 1701 01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:15,000 Right? 1702 01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:17,000 What do you think of that father, Jeremy? 1703 01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:19,000 It's certainly natural 1704 01:09:19,000 --> 01:09:21,000 We've all got urges and that 1705 01:09:21,000 --> 01:09:23,000 But I don't know, your son needs to give his head a wobble 1706 01:09:23,000 --> 01:09:25,000 Or something, man, because that's wrong 1707 01:09:25,000 --> 01:09:27,000 Right 1708 01:09:27,000 --> 01:09:29,000 Confession 3 1709 01:09:29,000 --> 01:09:31,000 Met an older lady at an 80s night 1710 01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:33,000 See 1711 01:09:33,000 --> 01:09:35,000 You already know this is going to be a good one 1712 01:09:35,000 --> 01:09:37,000 Old lady, 80s night, let's get into it 1713 01:09:37,000 --> 01:09:39,000 Back to hers 1714 01:09:39,000 --> 01:09:41,000 Back to hers 1715 01:09:41,000 --> 01:09:43,000 We ended up naked in the hot tub 1716 01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:45,000 In a Casiba 1717 01:09:45,000 --> 01:09:47,000 She left to get drinks and I wristafar 1718 01:09:47,000 --> 01:09:49,000 Started in the hot tub 1719 01:09:49,000 --> 01:09:51,000 Quickly 1720 01:09:51,000 --> 01:09:53,000 Washed my arse with a wet towel 1721 01:09:53,000 --> 01:09:55,000 And put my clothes on, she was walking 1722 01:09:55,000 --> 01:09:57,000 Down her path as I ran out of the 1723 01:09:57,000 --> 01:09:59,000 Back guy 1724 01:09:59,000 --> 01:10:01,000 So I think 1725 01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:03,000 He's missed a bit out 1726 01:10:03,000 --> 01:10:05,000 Because he hasn't clarified 1727 01:10:05,000 --> 01:10:07,000 So he wristafar and he sharted in the hot tub 1728 01:10:07,000 --> 01:10:09,000 It said 1729 01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:11,000 Started in the hot tub 1730 01:10:11,000 --> 01:10:13,000 So he's misspelled it 1731 01:10:13,000 --> 01:10:15,000 That should have been sharted 1732 01:10:15,000 --> 01:10:17,000 Because he's 1733 01:10:17,000 --> 01:10:19,000 Like what I did in London 1734 01:10:19,000 --> 01:10:21,000 Sharted, is that a word? 1735 01:10:21,000 --> 01:10:23,000 I would have put shitted 1736 01:10:23,000 --> 01:10:25,000 Maybe 1737 01:10:25,000 --> 01:10:27,000 He's gone for a far 1738 01:10:27,000 --> 01:10:29,000 He's shitted himself so he's sharted 1739 01:10:29,000 --> 01:10:31,000 Right 1740 01:10:31,000 --> 01:10:33,000 So let me do that again 1741 01:10:33,000 --> 01:10:35,000 She left to get drinks and I wristafar 1742 01:10:35,000 --> 01:10:37,000 Sharted 1743 01:10:37,000 --> 01:10:39,000 Shitted 1744 01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:41,000 In the hot tub 1745 01:10:41,000 --> 01:10:43,000 Quickly washed my arse with a wet towel 1746 01:10:43,000 --> 01:10:45,000 And put my clothes on, she was walking down her path 1747 01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:47,000 As I ran out of the back guy 1748 01:10:47,000 --> 01:10:49,000 Now 1749 01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:51,000 You've been there mate 1750 01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:53,000 Not in the hot tub 1751 01:10:53,000 --> 01:10:55,000 No, you've been in that circumstance where you wristafar 1752 01:10:55,000 --> 01:10:57,000 The thing is, he wristafar 1753 01:10:57,000 --> 01:10:59,000 In the hot tub 1754 01:10:59,000 --> 01:11:01,000 Obviously because it's going, it's like yeah, it's just no blending 1755 01:11:01,000 --> 01:11:03,000 But yeah, because it's already bubbly 1756 01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:05,000 Yeah 1757 01:11:05,000 --> 01:11:07,000 I mean we've all farted in the hot tub 1758 01:11:07,000 --> 01:11:09,000 I'm not sharted though 1759 01:11:09,000 --> 01:11:11,000 Sharted, what a word mate 1760 01:11:11,000 --> 01:11:13,000 I can't believe you don't know 1761 01:11:13,000 --> 01:11:15,000 Sharted, no 1762 01:11:15,000 --> 01:11:17,000 Quickly washed my arse with a wet towel 1763 01:11:17,000 --> 01:11:19,000 Put my clothes on 1764 01:11:19,000 --> 01:11:21,000 As she was walking down the path as I ran out of the back guy 1765 01:11:23,000 --> 01:11:25,000 Look, you know, desperate times 1766 01:11:25,000 --> 01:11:27,000 You can't, unless you just 1767 01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:29,000 Chuck the towel to hold 1768 01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:31,000 Well, no, because all the mess is in the 1769 01:11:31,000 --> 01:11:33,000 Hot tub, literally 1770 01:11:33,000 --> 01:11:35,000 So, yeah 1771 01:11:35,000 --> 01:11:37,000 I mean 1772 01:11:37,000 --> 01:11:39,000 Maybe he probably could have tried to stall it out 1773 01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:41,000 And 1774 01:11:41,000 --> 01:11:43,000 Gone back up to her and says no, let's just 1775 01:11:43,000 --> 01:11:45,000 Take this back inside 1776 01:11:45,000 --> 01:11:47,000 And then run out in the morning 1777 01:11:47,000 --> 01:11:49,000 After he's done the deed 1778 01:11:51,000 --> 01:11:53,000 But yeah, there's 1779 01:11:53,000 --> 01:11:55,000 That's the only other option 1780 01:11:55,000 --> 01:11:57,000 Either do what he did 1781 01:11:57,000 --> 01:11:59,000 Just fucking run off 1782 01:11:59,000 --> 01:12:01,000 Or, yeah, you 1783 01:12:01,000 --> 01:12:03,000 Churned Albertu back into the house 1784 01:12:03,000 --> 01:12:05,000 Get your end away and then run off 1785 01:12:05,000 --> 01:12:07,000 These things happen 1786 01:12:07,000 --> 01:12:09,000 Well 1787 01:12:09,000 --> 01:12:11,000 You know, he was 1788 01:12:11,000 --> 01:12:13,000 He was on for a good night 1789 01:12:13,000 --> 01:12:15,000 80s, night 1790 01:12:15,000 --> 01:12:17,000 Older lady, hot tub 1791 01:12:17,000 --> 01:12:19,000 It was an avid good night 1792 01:12:19,000 --> 01:12:21,000 He had a shit night 1793 01:12:21,000 --> 01:12:23,000 Bear in mind 1794 01:12:23,000 --> 01:12:25,000 Actually get the puns 1795 01:12:25,000 --> 01:12:27,000 He was setting himself up strong 1796 01:12:27,000 --> 01:12:29,000 In that risky fire 1797 01:12:29,000 --> 01:12:31,000 You know, sometimes it's best to just hold him in, lads 1798 01:12:31,000 --> 01:12:33,000 I think there's anything 1799 01:12:33,000 --> 01:12:35,000 We've learned from the podcast 1800 01:12:35,000 --> 01:12:37,000 And stories 1801 01:12:37,000 --> 01:12:39,000 Is don't risk stuff when you're 1802 01:12:39,000 --> 01:12:41,000 About to do sexual stuff 1803 01:12:41,000 --> 01:12:43,000 It's just not worth it 1804 01:12:43,000 --> 01:12:45,000 Risk the fire 1805 01:12:45,000 --> 01:12:47,000 And now he's run out the back gate, mate 1806 01:12:47,000 --> 01:12:49,000 Yeah, but you know yourself 1807 01:12:49,000 --> 01:12:51,000 It's not good to leave it in 1808 01:12:51,000 --> 01:12:53,000 Because, you know, you've been there 1809 01:12:53,000 --> 01:12:55,000 Full of gas, and then you felt better 1810 01:12:55,000 --> 01:12:57,000 When you bled it all out 1811 01:12:57,000 --> 01:12:59,000 You know it's better out than in 1812 01:12:59,000 --> 01:13:01,000 No, older lady 1813 01:13:01,000 --> 01:13:03,000 80s, night 1814 01:13:03,000 --> 01:13:05,000 You've got to weigh up your options there, mate 1815 01:13:05,000 --> 01:13:07,000 Bear in mind, she could be our age 1816 01:13:07,000 --> 01:13:09,000 Because we were born in the 80s 1817 01:13:09,000 --> 01:13:11,000 Yeah, but 1818 01:13:11,000 --> 01:13:13,000 I'm saying he might just be like 18 1819 01:13:13,000 --> 01:13:15,000 And everything 1820 01:13:15,000 --> 01:13:17,000 He was on for a good night 1821 01:13:17,000 --> 01:13:19,000 A very good night 1822 01:13:19,000 --> 01:13:21,000 Man, I promise 1823 01:13:21,000 --> 01:13:23,000 He's had the downer path 1824 01:13:23,000 --> 01:13:25,000 Through the back gate, mate 1825 01:13:25,000 --> 01:13:27,000 Yeah 1826 01:13:27,000 --> 01:13:29,000 It's a shame 1827 01:13:29,000 --> 01:13:31,000 Never mind, mate, chill 1828 01:13:31,000 --> 01:13:33,000 There'll be others 1829 01:13:33,000 --> 01:13:35,000 Yeah, there'll be other ages, not 1830 01:13:35,000 --> 01:13:37,000 Probably avoid the 80s, not to be fair 1831 01:13:37,000 --> 01:13:39,000 Because you might bump into her again 1832 01:13:39,000 --> 01:13:41,000 And then she'll be like, you shitted my heart off 1833 01:13:41,000 --> 01:13:43,000 Imagine that, I'd work at Spraddy's 1834 01:13:43,000 --> 01:13:45,000 You might 1835 01:13:45,000 --> 01:13:47,000 I mean, at least 1836 01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:49,000 It's an easier thing to 1837 01:13:49,000 --> 01:13:51,000 Clean, because he told me 1838 01:13:51,000 --> 01:13:53,000 Who's going to clean it? 1839 01:13:53,000 --> 01:13:55,000 Someone else's shit? 1840 01:13:55,000 --> 01:13:57,000 Yeah, you'd have to clean it, wouldn't you? 1841 01:13:57,000 --> 01:13:59,000 No, because someone's shit in your house 1842 01:13:59,000 --> 01:14:01,000 And they've done one 1843 01:14:01,000 --> 01:14:03,000 You've got to clean it, haven't you? 1844 01:14:03,000 --> 01:14:05,000 It's either that or you pay someone to clean it 1845 01:14:07,000 --> 01:14:09,000 I don't know if I could do it 1846 01:14:11,000 --> 01:14:13,000 Because you're a bitch 1847 01:14:13,000 --> 01:14:15,000 Well, yeah 1848 01:14:15,000 --> 01:14:17,000 On that note, anyway 1849 01:14:17,000 --> 01:14:19,000 I've got shit there 1850 01:14:19,000 --> 01:14:21,000 And we'll bring some more shit 1851 01:14:21,000 --> 01:14:23,000 Next week 1852 01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:25,000 Hopefully I haven't shit-worn it to self again 1853 01:14:25,000 --> 01:14:27,000 But yeah, I've got to go 1854 01:14:27,000 --> 01:14:29,000 I've got to do some more painting 1855 01:14:29,000 --> 01:14:31,000 You've got to go, you've got to 1856 01:14:31,000 --> 01:14:33,000 Drop the babby off and have another McDonald's 1857 01:14:33,000 --> 01:14:35,000 And toy at the house tonight 1858 01:14:37,000 --> 01:14:39,000 So yeah, keep the stories coming in 1859 01:14:39,000 --> 01:14:41,000 New world orders 1860 01:14:41,000 --> 01:14:43,000 Any messages and all that 1861 01:14:43,000 --> 01:14:45,000 Links are in the description, as always 1862 01:14:45,000 --> 01:14:47,000 And yeah, we'll see you next week then 1863 01:14:47,000 --> 01:15:15,000 Peace! 1864 01:15:17,000 --> 01:15:19,000 You're so so sly 1865 01:15:19,000 --> 01:15:21,000 Their chemistry's electric 1866 01:15:21,000 --> 01:15:23,000 You can't deny 1867 01:15:23,000 --> 01:15:25,000 You can't deny 1868 01:15:25,000 --> 01:15:37,000 You can't deny