Ash and JD, they're the hosts, talking real, they're not like most
The podcasting fun with a side of wit, get ready
Cause you won't wanna quit
They bring the laughs, they bring the noise
Sharing stories of their crazy joys
From deep discussions to silly tales
The real talking podcast never fails
Step your headphones, step ready to groove
Ash and JD will make your mood improve
The banter that's witty and no so sly
Their chemistry's electric, you can't deny
Just tell me, is that going up and down?
One two, one two, one two, one two
That is going up and down
Big lines, big lines
Your lines are bigger than my lines
Uniqued, uniqued, mate
We can't see the lines, the lines are gone
Mate, mate, mate
How are we everyone? Welcome to the real talking podcast
Your hosts, Ash and JD
Apologies, it has been ridiculous
I know it seems like a fucking common occurrence lately
Where we miss a part, miss a week or whatever
And then it's apologies again
We do try, this time it was
I say it was my fault, it was just
It was no one's fault
Yeah, work, I had to go to London
And then I didn't have enough time on the second trip to London
To meet up before, to get a recording
Because plans got changed
So yeah, apologies for
You know, leaving you in the dust for
You know, a little bit of a gap, nothing major
But you know, nothing
Nothing major's gone on in the world really, has it?
There hasn't been anything to talk about
In the last two weeks that we've missed
We haven't missed anything
Crump is smashing it, aren't they?
Imagine how it feels having an elected leader
Do everything they said
That was going, not having an elected leader
Do everything they said they was going to do, not like us
No counter tax rises, none of this bollocks
It's what I said is happening
How good must that feel?
It must be great
Especially that Trump supports us
To be American at this time in the moment
You know what, I'm not American, but I love the fact
It doesn't even affect me when he says about the DEI
You know, just banning all that
Mom and the golem, they're getting paid, like whatever
Just don't bother coming in, you're getting jobs based on merit now again
I never understand
I understand with the lower, no one has asked it
But if I'm on a plane
Do you want someone that's tick box or the best pilot?
If you're having surgery
Do you want the best surgeon or do you want a tick box surgeon?
I know which one I want
You want the experience, you want the best
No matter what they look like, where they're from
I want the best person
But how great must that feel?
Just having someone that said
What he was going to do
And he's done it with a fucking lock fourth
He's been fucking about it
I know we spoke about it last time
But he was just signing those
I was going to say checks, but he was just bossing me
What's this one?
I love this
Donald Trump, next one
The one where I was like
America, yeah
Was the one where I was like, we're only going to identify as two genders
I was like, thank fuck for that
Why cater for that 1%
And I love the fact that if you got discharged from the military
They get rid of all the transgender soldiers
Because they can't sit them anywhere, they can't be deployed anywhere
There is a little bit more to it than that
It's not just like you can't be transgender in the army
He's not allowing basically the army to fund their operations
Yeah, yeah, yeah
So they can be whatever they want still
But they have to do it on their own dollar
Not a quid bab
I had one last week
We'll talk about that in a minute
So they have to fund it themselves
Which is right, you know
We have it over here when these women fucking claim they're depressed
And not just get a fucking boob job or a nose job or something
Not that I know of people
I can imagine that fucking hair transplants and fucking turk
It's either going to get put onto the NHS at this rate
I mean hair transplants, that's definitely something that should be
Because men are actually depressed
From losing their hair
Women would be as well, but it's not as common
So I understand that
Fucking nose job, boob job and that, fucking stupid
And so obviously all the other things, that's the fucking bottom of the fucking chain
With all the other operations that are going on
At the NHS
It's pushed to the limits as it is
The other week while I was driving to London
For work, the radio too
Not more station at choice
But they were actually on about how there's jobs being
Interviewed for now
In the hospital
For the fucking
The hallway nurses basically
The hallway staff
Because there's not enough rooms, there's not enough beds
You're essentially sitting on a chair in the corridor
Getting seen to, getting treatment
Getting your blood tested
Heart pressure fucking whatever
There's not enough staff rooms, everything
So they're making jobs to be a corridor fucking staff member
Well yeah, no
Again, apologies to anyone
That is part of the LGBTQ community
And stuff like that
It can come across like we are misogynistic
And whatever, in general
We just don't care, we don't need it forced
Sometimes comments since you've got a profile
Even if it hurts, either way someone's feeling is going to get hurt
So when we're saying stuff like that
Like Ash just said, it's the 1%
So I'm not blaming the lack of hostel beds and that
Is because someone wants to have their dick chopped off so they can go in a women's bathroom
A lot of it is, again
Something that Trump's sorting out is the legal immigration system
Because they're coming in
And then they're like, oh yeah
Again, I know it's the way that our country is
But I remember seeing a TikTok from a Polish woman
In Poland
They could just go to any
Essentially a corner shop of chemists or whatever
And get antibiotics, get steroids and fucking whatever
For whatever their issue is
Whereas over here you have to get seen by a doctor
Get a prescription and then go pick it up
And so she was kicking off, she was like, I've gone there
They wouldn't let me have it, even though I could see on the shelf behind them
Isn't it mad where, obviously
This doesn't include America anymore, where the world's run
By a world health organisation in terms of
This is bad, this is good
You get what I'm saying here
Different countries have different
So our prescriptions here are £9
£9 something like that
If you went to the doctors now you get prescriptions £9 no matter what it is
I don't know currently
I've seen about it, I'm talking about 15 years ago
And that was about £6 something back then
It's £9, so if you went to the doctors
Or hospital needs prescription it's £9 no matter what it is
Which is good, which is really good
In Scotland it's free
In America it costs shit loads
So unless you have health insurance
It is like $100 per tablet
So yeah, it's good on that
Sense when medication does cost different prices for whatever it is
That's all I'm saying, from country to country
It's really funny how it varies from
Just going to a pharmacy or corner shop to get steroids and antibiotics
Over the counter, here you need a prescription
In America, I don't know how that works
I always find that funny how
You know, you need a doctor's note don't you
What I was trying to get is, why do you regulate on the one
Not one, but like, I always find
That how, you know, here we pay £9, Scotland is free
Do you get what I'm saying?
I can imagine that there's some sort of
Conspiracy theory, illuminati situation going on
So depending on what branch of illuminati is running in each
Individual country, they want to control population or something
So that's why you have to pay and if you can't pay
You can't afford to leave, then this one, they want more population
So it's a standard set fee, whatever
You know, there's got to be a conspiracy in there somewhere
I do find though, with the NHS
It has been running at capacity for over a few years
And what don't happen that is obviously a lot of people
From the NHS are moving abroad for a better way of life
To do the same job, more money
I saw something on there, NHS, DEI
Head of DEI in the hospital was like 80 grand
Why do you need, just hire the best person
Put me in that role
80 grand a year, can you do this
We need someone that can do these kind of surgeries, can you do it
Yeah, I've been doing it for 10 years
You had any fucking discrepancies or anything
Nah, I'm falling, fuck it, I'm on it
You're my person, not guy, because you might be a female
You're my person, you know what I mean, I've done the scrim there
We're open, we're here for all fashions
It doesn't matter if he's from fucking
Lithuania, China, like Pakistan
Jamaica, anywhere mate, honestly
You're my guy
Yeah man
So beautiful
First of all, I've got going on in my head
Remind me about Shaggy in a bit if you do remember
Shaggy? Yeah, the Zingapad rapper
The artist
Well there's probably a Shaggy story that'll pop up
But yeah
Essentially it's great to be American
Shit to be British
That's what we've just established
Yeah, but
So you've got all the
Illegal immigrants of the Colombian
Of the Colombian nationals
Yeah, I was going to say rice
But it's not a rice, and then I was going to say ethnicity
But yeah, Colombian illegals
On two planes, and then they go like
Nah, you're not banned enough, they're not coming in
I'll cut off your fucking aid, 24% deduction now
If you don't say yes within 24 hours, it'll go down to 50%
You've got a week, it'll get up completely
So within hours they've gone
Alright, whatever, we'll take them back
We'll even send our presidential clients come and pick them up
Fucking, that's balls, and it shows that it fucking works
They back down within hours
The one thing as well that I like to hear
That we should do as a country is stop sending money abroad
And really think about what's going out the door
Now, we stop money for pensioners getting heating
But then send 3 billion to Ukraine
The other week send a billion pounds to Syria
Yeah
And that's what you've got to look at
What's going out the door, what causes going to
That's what I think we should do
And what needs to be done, that's what America's done
Which is a, so yeah, but it's a good time to be American I suppose
It definitely is, you know
Where would you want to go in America?
If someone went to me and asked if you could go to this state
For 2 weeks
Where would you go?
I mean, Texas, New York
If you went to Texas, would you have a cowboy hat?
I already got the fucking tunes down
So, you know, I'd fit right in
You're waiting for me to say something racist
You can give me the eyes to say, yeah you'd be fucking
Yeehaw, you fucking honky
I was, no I wasn't
No
But yeah, Texas, that would be a fucking standard one
Just a Mosjani, nice and easeler
New York, it's the tourist one
In general, everyone wants to go to New York
I always wanted to go to New York, but as it got older I'm glad I never did
It just seems like somewhere
Where I wouldn't want to be
I still find it fucking strange how
Most of Americans, when they think of the UK
They only think of London, but that's down to the old school
Not being taught about other towns
And cities in England and UK
But when they want to come over
They only want to see London
For the universe, yeah
Only for the universe
London's a shit hole
There's just too much going on
It is the most diverse
And multicultural city in the UK
But there's no proper
Section where you can just go
This is just going out having a drink
This is where you go and have a good time
Just fucking madness, chaos everywhere
It's expensive, it's just too much
Whereas you can go to Liverpool
Liverpool, it's a nightlife city
You can be out until 4 o'clock on the pub if you want
Get your car robbed for the means one as well
Sat-Navs gone, fucking
That's what we don't have no more, because we'll all get robbed
Go and watch Liverpool, guys
Not necessarily Everton
But yeah, it's always fucking
Jam-packed and then you've got fucking
I'm not going to recommend Birmingham to everyone
Or Coventry to be fair
But there's other little towns that you can go
All the history that's around
The old buildings don't hang in that
There's loads of fucking things to do
But just think about London, because that's the place to go
It's just too expensive
I liked London when I went there
But it was overly expensive
I've just worked there
The exhibition centre, London's Exile
The prices are ridiculous
Subways are subways
It always cracks me up
You can go from one place to another and the price is different
It should just be the same price everywhere
You're in the same country, just the same price
I'll get it if you're ordering on the app or whatever
Fucking ridiculous
You still haven't had one?
Well, this was our first experience as well
I've talked the big game for it for years
So I've ordered it on Uber Eats
Because we're sitting in the Premier Imports
Fucking ordered it
And you can see on the bike
I can't think of the woman's name now
I know it went on the app, I've been able to find it
It was like that, Chimena, Big One, whatever her name was
Shana Baiger
She was back in here soon
Well, I thought she was my fucking Uber driver
Because the name was quite the same
The picture, she looked similar as well
You can see the little emblem of the bike
It's on the way
So it got the standard
And it's a big fucking meal
£16 each
You're getting a fat fucking kebab
With either beef done out, chicken done out, or mixy
The spring rolls are massive
They're massive
Please a lot of women out there
And then you get your portion of fries
The 5 inch
For the size of the box
And what comes in it
For £15, £16, it's a good deal
And it's all about presentation
You order it, you can take off the lettuce and the cabbage
You can add stuff on if you want
Double up the meat, I can pack it out
There was new little donut bites as well
I was like, no, I'll try them
£2.50 for four of them
I can have a Lenny
So the bike pulls up, because I'm looking on the map
We're outside, gone outside
Geyser on the bike for starters
And then he's handed me three boxes
I'm like, got another bag in there mate
Waiting for my donuts
He's like, no, that's all there is
I'm not blaming you mate, you've just been given this
It's not your fault
It won't be, because it's three separate meals
And it's not a part of the meal
It should just be a little bag
He's looked again, that's all it is
I'm like, don't worry about it mate, I'll just get on to the app
So we finished our pint, into the room
I've gone for the
I've got meat, so I've got chicken, I've got beef
I've got one each of the spring rolls as well
I've got the curried flavoured fries as well
Can of sprouts, because I ain't having an orange juice
You're having a fucking takeaway, you've got to fucking carry on it
So I can see it on the label, that's mine yet
That's John's, that's Jason's, welcome sound
Up to the rooms, because we're not eating down at the pool now
Plus the bar was closed
We ended up staying in the Aloft, which is a high end hotel
Because it was cheaper than the Premier Inn that night as well
So TV aren't weird
The room was not obviously that
It was just a weird layout with TV, there was two profiles to choose from
I'm like, what's going on, two different people
You should just turn it on and flick British animals
No, I've had to fuck around, they've got some
PowerPoint display of all the hotels around the room and that
The world rather, just want to put Family Guy on or something
Just fucking get off
And obviously you're pressing the button and it's not
Because they've got their own programme on it
So fucked around, got it on, Family Guy on
Open the box, oh there
Un-Uber Eats as well, while I'm trying to sort out the TV
Ain't got the doughnuts, fucking straight away
£2.60 back, so I've made money on the doughnuts
Taking off or adding on delivery fee or something
Or charge or something
I don't know, but I've made money on these £2.49 doughnuts anyway
So I'm like, right, Family Guy sound
Well, let's fucking eat now then
Open the box, the doughnuts are in there aren't they
Fucking, like, how did they know to put it in my box for starters
Like, how was I that lucky
Because I've got a different from the other two as well
So I was lucky and there
There weren't nothing special, but for free they were amazing
Did John like his then? The pair of them fucking loved it
And it was both their first time? Yeah
Right, so talking about first time
It's not my first time in Tim Hortons, hello Canada
But today and yesterday
Life changing coffee
Right, now I've had a Tim Hortons coffee before
You said about the other week, you said it was amazing
The caramel smores latte, don't do no more here
But I had a French vanilla, but nothing
Now French vanilla is paranoid
It's its own thing, it's not a latte, it's its own thing
So it's not like a cappuccino
So they do a thing called a French vanilla
But I had a banana, but nothing, French vanilla
I stood there, I drank it
I said to the lad at work, Troy coffee
He drank it, we stood there like five feet apart
Drinking these coffees, going, it's fucking nice
That nice, six o'clock this morning
Ordered another one to get to work, seven o'clock
Canada, thank you
I think I might have to make a special trip tomorrow and go get one then
Well I don't know where
I've got one none east and so it's about 15 minutes ride
So just go for the French vanilla, don't have the latte
French vanilla, or banana
I don't know if it's French vanilla first
It is amazing mate, honestly
I'm going to have to fucking log to the boy from the sale
I'm going to look at a job or something
Because I can't get her a coffee
So I'm going to have to go nip out for half an hour
And then go get myself a coffee and sit there in the car park and drink it
And then come back
And then hope she doesn't want to kiss and smile with fucking breath
What was that, that's what was amazing
When I went to coffee there was Tim Hollands everywhere
I bought a new coffee
So when you went to Canada, you just said when you went to coffee
Oh sorry yeah
So it's a good job on band to take care of listeners
That was a trick question there
Yeah honestly mate, Tim Hollands, get in your non-eater
It's so sweet
I'm going to have to, you've sold it on
Because I don't want vanilla latte anyway
Because even at home I'll get the vanilla syrup
And pour it into my latte sachets and that
Just to give it a bit of zhuzh
So yeah, I'm going to have to fucking try it
Honestly let me know how it goes
I didn't give you a lot of fucking experience
I might even have to fucking do a driving with JD
For real
First expressions or something because you've sold it to me mate
Honestly it was
This weekend there, coffee sales, going to go for the roof
If there was one closer I would definitely go and get one
Is it in town then?
No, so you can't even get it fucking hurt
But yeah, I know where it is at Mali, by Mali
I mean there might be one in town for me
But I know when I've been on Just Eat or whatever
It's, Nun Eaten is the closest one
10 to 15 minute drive depending on traffic
Yeah well then you can't feel good
Because what's the food like there?
The doughnuts, weights I've had
So they're kind of like the McDonald's thing, you know the breakfast in the morning
They've got the doughnuts and that, that's their thing
They are not after me
I might have to, I mean I haven't had a haircut in a while
So I could do that
Treat yourself, go and have a haircut
Haircut and a coffee?
For any of the OG listeners I've got long wavy hair
And I've had it cut once in the last two years
And it is coming up to two years again
Well it's so nice, coming up to two years on this podcast
As well as New March
Fucking hell that's going quicker now
I think this is episode 89 or 90
So we're gonna have to start planning for episode 100
It's down too bad though, if you think about it
For 52 episodes a year
But to be fair, before Covid was around we had more time to double up on episodes
And if we were gonna miss a week we could fucking do that
So yeah the moral of the story is don't have kids
With another one on the way
What knows what's gonna happen after June
You might have to finish the part
Also not me, I don't know, have you told the listeners?
Because obviously someone's staring at you with coffee
Another one on the way, it's not me
So apologies I haven't got the back phone on me
The real talking hotline
I was properly prepared this morning for leaving out for work
But there was at least two whatsapps on there
Because of something I said the other week
Yeah you mentioned Sunk as well the other week about
I can't remember what I said
But yeah, the vlog, what's going on
One was Abbie, apologies
But yeah, vlog
You got a baby on the way also
Yeah, I can't remember what I said
I remember the moment when we were doing it because I remember thinking
Was it magical?
Always mate, if you listen to the podcast it was magical
Yeah so
Bean's on the way
Again because calling Bean at the moment
Still because when the missus first told me
He was the size of a bean so that nickname stuck
And yeah, little boy on the way
She's around 23 weeks now I think
So yeah, June the 4th is expected due date
So family of three is going to be the family of four
Because at the moment it's three with the dog
Because dogs are a part of the family
They're not just the pets
They're not just for Christmas
No, they're for life
And to be fair that's a nice little segue
On to what he wanted to chat about
Not Shaggy, I will get on to Shaggy in a minute
But the dog, Shaggy, wasn't me
So
Again I don't know if I said it the other week
But the dog's had some issues, I think I've spoken to you
But I don't think I've spoken on the podcast buddy
The dog's had some issues with allergies
He's getting home and he's chewed a fresh spot on himself
And it's going straight to the skin
It's red raw, it's not good
So this all started off with November the 4th
At the phone call
To book him in to get his boosters, his vaccinations
So
December the 4th went in
And while I was in there
He was only just the one or two little spots at that point
Do you know what this is
He's fucking just been biting himself
So I don't know if it's a rash or something
And because it was red and inflamed
The vet woman
Says right, we'll forget the vaccinations this week
Because it is looking bad
I'll give him a steroid injection, week of antibiotics
And then come back in a couple of weeks
Have his boosters log
So did that
Went back two weeks later
The antibiotics and steroid calmed it down for a week
And then it fucking went straight back on it
So I says yeah
Obviously that's not a permanent solution
Every couple of weeks having that
What else are you suggesting
So she give me some flea stuff
Because there was bits of
Scabby skin in his fur
She's like I can't guarantee that's not flea poo
And that basically
Although what is next to the fucking one of them is jude
So it's obviously a scab
So give me some flea stuff
And then there's this new vaccination thing
Which because it's new as well it's a two parter
So
The first part of that
Then like a week after
At the same time I says can we do a blood test as well
Because I want to know what's going on
Bloods withdrawn, £148 for blood tests
This was on the 19th of December
And while I was there
For that
I took some of the insurance forms
Got the girl behind the counter to help me fill them out
And then give them to them
Because I have to fill it out
And then they process it and it cost me £27 even though I filled the form out
All they've got to do is just send it off
And that's what I was under the impression of anyway
That I fill it out, they send it off and I'll get charged £27
So roll on to
In January now anyway
I don't know the exact date, I feel like it was the 11th
It was the 11th
So I got a phone call from the vet
Saying that
The insurance form I need to sign
So straight away I'm like
I didn't say anything, I was like that's fine
I'll come straight down when I finish work
I'll get it signed
But I'm thinking, it's been 3 weeks you've had this form
Why are you only ringing me now to say I haven't signed the form
So I went there
I'm driving, I'm warning myself, I'm like this is fucking stupid
I get there
Just wondering if there's any word about the
Blood results as well because
That's been 3 weeks since it's gone
And I understand with the Christmas period and that they might have had some tar marks
So you can take a look
So she hands me the fucking blood form
Which was received to them on the 31st of December
So they had it for fucking over 10 days
No phone call or nothing
So I wound up about that as well
And then she turns around and says, yeah you've got £56
Whatever, £36 something
I've signed them on your account
I've paid, every time I pay straight away
Here you have for the painkillers
So it doesn't need no painkillers, you've had steroids, antibiotics
This and that, whatever
He doesn't need painkillers
And everything was looking alright
I put a bandage on his leg, he was wearing his fur
Trimmed for the blood test, he started licking that
And it was going red raw, so I put a bandage around it
And no one's rang me for me to have this conversation
I said, so unless you spoke to my wife
And she's told you that I've taken the bandage off now and it looks alright
And I even went onto my phone history
I got 2 calls, one when you rang up on November
And one today when you rang to say I need to sign this form
Oh, hang on a sec
So she goes out the back, comes back
Turns out some poor dog has had the tail amputated
And then the medication
The painkillers were put onto my account
So it's got no tail and no painkillers
And they're trying to charge me, so I'm fuming
I'm not kicking off though, I'm being fucking respectable
I'm not saying anything, I'm not saying anything
So I'm looking at the fucking blood test
Grass and whatever, negative
Something else, negative
So there's only 3 things that are tested for
£148, 3 things that are tested on a blood test
So the third one, mould to mould
And it basically said maybe, no breakdown
Of what it could be or anything, whether it is moulds or mould
Maybe
So I've all got to pay for them to break that down
Yeah, because they'll have the blood in the system
In their lab for 30 days
So yeah, I can get in touch and pay whatever fee is
But I'll have to ring up and find out
I went, no no
So I paid for something else then as well
I was like, let me just see if this does anything
I'm fucking, I'm raging to myself
I'm walking back with the dog and that dog
Because at that point I went with the dog
I'm walking back and pissed off
So I've ended up finding it on TikTok
Not that I've been searching for it, but there's this one bloke
He's always advertised for stuff, but there's a thing called
My Pet Sensitivity
He's advertised it
For me, the TikTok shop
Not really a paid partnership
The listeners will know what I'm on about
But look
If you click on my link, you buy it
And then I'll get like 14%
So he's doing that anyway
So I've looked at it
Ended up fucking ordering it
So for 32 pounds
All I've had to do is just snip a little bit of his fur
Send it off in an envelope
With the reference number and all that
And they've tested 460 things
Off of, all they asked for was 10 strands of fur
Cut as close to the skin as possible
A good tut, so they had enough
So then the other day
I've had fucking
The insurance ended up
The form was sent off
When I was there about something else at the best
The manager was sitting there and she was like, oh definitely
I reckon I was having issues doing the insurance form with that yesterday
So I'm then thinking
Why have I filled out the form on paper
For you to fill it in on the computer
Why don't you just
Because it's all on your computer anyway
Just copy paste it to the insurance and then send it off
Because I'm filling out the form for you to put it in a different form
Just email it
Cut out the fucking middle
Because there's no point in me wasting ink
Printing ink and pen ink, there's no point
So I had a little bit of a pop about that
Not major, I just made a point
That's stupid, that's a waste of time
So yeah, then no
So then
This week had
A couple days after that I had an email from the insurance company
Saying, right, it's received
Have you got the history before I got my dog
So I emailed them back because I haven't got the history
I can't get it
But I know there was nothing wrong with you
When I registered him with the vets, we had to start the
Boosters and whatever from scratch, that was all
So yeah, but there was nothing wrong with you
It's just now there's this potential allergy
And I've spent a lot of money so I just want to try and claim some back
Didn't hear nothing
So the other day I rang them up, the insurance company
Just got this claim going for
Just want to see where we're at because sent an email back
And they heard nothing
So sorry, see that it's going through with that
You should have had a reply because obviously you've replied
So we should reply back to you
But I don't avoid whatever department hasn't done it
So I've just made a note on the system, so I'm sending that to them
Basically telling them to do the job
And then reply to anyone else that needs them
But yeah, tomorrow you'll get the remittance email and you'll get
Your money back
That's brilliant, that's what I want to hear
So the next day I get the remittance email in the morning
The invoice that I received was for £187
And after fees I've got £32 back
And I'm like hang on
I've spent £500
And I've received £197 as an invoice
And I literally went through my bank statements
I was like £400, 45p I paid
So I rang up the vets and I was like alright bab
Blah blah, it doesn't sound right
So I just want to make sure
Because I know the manager was struggling because when she was fitting it in on the computer
The computer kept crashing or whatever
So I'm thinking is she just half arsed it and fucking sent it off
And I'm not sure it's all fucking done right
Because it doesn't look right
And then she's asked about do I want to continue with the blood test
And pay more, I said no no
She says I've gone independently now and I'm waiting for results
From this other company and it's cost me £32
So I'm not going to pay any more on top of the £148 I've already paid
When I'm going to find out
Off of this company
I was like is the manager there anyway
Because I can just ask her the question
Oh no she's working home today
I was like alright then
I said but just let her know if she does try and ring me
I haven't got any good signal so make sure she leaves a voicemail
She said yeah yeah she will do
I said fair enough, what day is she in the office this week
I don't know, she says alright but if I don't hear back today
She's in, just try and catch her
Because I'm not having you fucking fuck me off
I had a bit of events on the phone at that point as well
Because his skin is still not rose
He's still itching and whatever
I'm paying all this money
The form has been sent off
All I'm getting back is £32, I'm not happy
And he's still fucking not rose
You're on the phone, so it is what it is
So I carried on working at that
Then I've got the fucking email
From my pet sensitivity, I've scrolled through
There's a lot of things on there
Overall there's probably like 10 things that he's definitely allergic to
And then 20 that he's like that can cause issues
But I'm looking, I'm like that's a lot of fucking things
And that's all come through
And I'm still thinking about these fucking
148 pound blood tests, three fucking things
And one's a mayday
So I carried on working and as I'm driving back
I'm warning myself up even more again there
And I'm like fuck this, I'm going in
Because I wanted to know, off of what he's reactive to
Off of the stuff they've given, like any of these treatments and that
Is there anything crossing over
Since as well, so I'm like surely one of these things
These chemicals or fucking something
It's got to be in one of these treatments
So I just wanted to ask her to pull up the information
Because I ain't got the packaging no more, I'll give him the tablet
She fucking was oblivious
She didn't fucking know
When I first walked in, she's already on the phone
And I can hear this woman kicking up
Basically the gist of it, she's got a guide dog
The vets haven't filled out their paperwork properly
So they haven't registered the dog on their end as a guide dog
So as it's been sent up to the insurance
Because they haven't done their job right, the insurance won't pay out
So she's kicking off, she's like I want to speak to you manager
At the end of the day, user fucked up, user got to sort it out
Because I'm out of a lot of money
I'm standing there with a grin, I've got a dog with me as well
Right, I'll transfer you
And she's pressed the button on the phone
So when you're doing that on the phone, that means they're in the office
Not at home
So straight away I've caught her out on a fucking lie
And I haven't even spoken to her yet
So she's like, oh yeah, how can I help?
It's bloody hard love, sounds like your manager's not having a good day
Oh yeah, there's been a lot going on today
She's like, have you got an appointment?
She says no, no, I don't know if it was herself that I spoke to this morning
Is it to do with Shira?
He's right next to me anyway
So your manager's here then
Oh, there was some emergency and that's why she's had to come in
Here's the manager, she's not a fucking vet
She doesn't fucking treat the pets, she just fucking does the paperwork
So what emergency? Paperwork, can't be done at home
So I've caught them out on that lie straight away
So I've asked her about the ingredients on some of this stuff
Like a rabbit in the head lodge, she didn't have a clue
I've given her the phone, she's like, just have a look
She didn't know what she was looking at, so right
Print off what you've given and I'll do my homework
I'll find out
So she printed that and I was like, right, now I want to ask about insurance
And at this point, one of the other
The assistant manager or head nurse or something
She's come out and she's trying to argue with me
I'm keeping calm as well
I'm being stern but I'm not raising my voice
I'm just saying, I've lost count how many times
I said the math ain't mapping
I've got the email up saying £187, three pence
I've done my math, £500, 45 pence
And they've printed off this and that
And they've had up their figures together, they were still £20 short
And then she's like, well, flee treatment, they won't cover that
It says they're covering it on that email
On that remittance they've already sent me, it says flee treatment
Oh, well they shouldn't do it
It doesn't matter what they should and shouldn't
If you just send everything and then they say what they won't cover
So essentially, they should have received an invoice for £400
And then tell me what they are going to pay back
But no
And then at this point the managers got off the phone from the fucking barlarking
And the name literally is Karen
So she's come out with a short fucking lesbian haircut
And she was ready to kick off with me
She knows that I'm having this discussion at the moment
She's recognised me from the discussion the other week
Straight away, demeanours changed
Trying to be polite, friendly, smiling and everything
So I'm going to ask them, so while we can speak to any assurance
Ask if they've actually received that
And then ask what I'm getting
Because at the end of the day, £32 back from £400 is ridiculous
It's not brought
So I've got the printout of the invoice that they've actually sent now
Which was £363
So I was like, OK
And you reckon everything you've put on there is a climbable order
Yeah, it's a climbable, that's what I sent you
OK, same
So I ran the insurance when I got back
Turns out, so they did get that £363
But on the 19th of December
When the second lot of treatment started
Yeah
That was more insurance renewal dates
So it's been split into two fucking claims
So it means I'm paying the excess twice
So I'm gutted about that
But yeah, from what they've said
They have received
So I was fucking
I'll give them the benefit of that on that one
But I've done my homework on these allergies and that now
It's all in the treatments that they've been giving him
So the flea treatment, it's got sodium such and such in
Fucking metaphobe
He's on my phone and I've made notes and that
So I need to find time now to get back to the vets and tell them
I'm not going to fucking take it further
Trying to do a claim or anything
But at the end of the day, this new fucking vaccine
And the flea treatments that they give him
Has been poisoning him and making his fucking skinny chin
So I just need to make sure that they have all this information on the system
And stop poisoning my dog
I know I've got to change things with his diet
But I don't want to pay someone else to poison him
I think you should maybe change vets as well, aren't we?
Before any of this, they've been fine
You're only as good as your management, you're only as good as your worst person
I've not seen this manager before any of this has had to happen
So I think it's because it's a new manager that's why it's gone down
But yeah, fucking just dramas
I'm not a healthy dog, any
I think I might have started it off
Because chicken broth he's reactive to
So obviously he has a Sunday dinner
So he's had a chicken roast
And that's what started him
But yeah, they've made it worse
So yeah, dramas
The benefit of silver lining is you know what he's allergic to
So going forward you know how to
You know, adjust so yeah
Yeah, it will get sorted out now
It's just been a long process
I hate them ones though when you just quick and easy stuff
People might have heart and you're chasing
Not there saying that, this person's saying that
I just need you to print it out and just tell me yes or no
Because that was the conversation with the insurance company
Because some things aren't going to get paid
As long as you say this and that
Then it's fine, as long as it's written down I understand it
I had him increase his dog
Because I can guarantee he's not had a fucking call of mine
Because obviously I've rang up
And Sam lad, Sam I'm sure he's known was
And it was like
Yeah, so we have received that, he explained about
The policy date, so because the policy renewed
It's had to have been split into two, it was all fair do's
He says can you do anything about the excess though
Because obviously it's split into two
He's like mate if I could I would, I can't
It's policy and that, fair enough sound
I know where I stand with that then
I told him about the bits and bobs
And I turn around and says
Because it's a fucking
Whole practice for the women, they're all fucking
Sticking up for each other and he's had to move
The phone away and he's laughing
Because obviously the calls are fucking recorded
And I could just hear him giggling in the background
I was like look I don't mean to say it old fashioned or sexist or anything
But they're all sticking up for each other, they're all friends
And I'm there just trying to get answers
I'm trying to defend and I was like I caught them out in the law
Because the manager was there and she wasn't meant to be there
And he's like sounds like you haven't had the best of the day then
I'm like nah mate I'm going to crack open a beer in a minute
Which I did while I did my homework
Because I needed it, fucking just too much stress
But yeah the insurance company, no dramas, so fucking at least it's sorted
But yeah I had him fucking laughing
So yeah just fucking
We'll get there though, we'll get there and that's the main book
That is the main thing
So since all that rant is on with now anyway
We will have to move on
Time wise
It was around 49 minutes now, when does the time fly
I love it was taken up in the rant then mate
But it weren't a rant, I get what you're saying
It was events, it's an annoyance more than anything mate
I know but I mean
Compared to the early days of the part
When it was like a weak-hitting fucking ranty-wernie
Yeah and now it was prompt run to go back in the sun
And so it had to get deleted
Nah nah it's still on
I mean to be fair because
If you do go back, if you are new
It is from episode 4 because the first three
I didn't really move because it was just short
There was one, it was episode 4 or 3 where I was just like
Hey I listened to that back, you were pretty hard there
I don't know how she felt with what you said
Well yeah because I was fucking
Well I wasn't slagging off, I was fucking complaining
About the misses
But to be fair it's never anything that I wouldn't say to her
Yeah and I feel like yeah, now you've said that
Just from the listener's point of view
I know I've said it enough times but anything that I say to anyone
I wouldn't say to her
Because I told her from day one, I am who I am
I'm a cunt and she's got to fucking accept it
And she fucking did, she married me
Now she's pregnant? Yeah let me pump it in
I tell you what, that's fucking, I'm on one now
So because the pregnancy was out of the blue
Wasn't planned, we wasn't fucking trying or anything
I was editing one of the episodes of this
When she fucking told me
But because there was no facial expressions or anything
I'm pregnant, fucking all happy or whatever
I didn't know how to react
So I'm sitting there, laptop on my lap, that's what it's there for
And then because I didn't do anything
I was like alright
So are you wanting to keep it? Because I've told her for years
When you're ready, we'll have kids
Because I'm a couple of years older than her
So it's more on the woman side
Yeah she was already there, she was wanting for her to get where you are
Yeah because it doesn't matter for a man
Women are the ones with the biological clock
And then we have spoken about it
It's a big discussion
Whether to or to not have kids these days
With all the shit that's going on
Prior to Trump being the world leader
She was expecting me to jump for joy
But because there was no expression from her
She's just waiting to stick her face
So she got upset, I finished editing
And she's sitting there upset
I didn't know, so I had a hug and all that
So it was going to stay secret until Christmas
But then she wanted to tell her mum and all that
And I was like right, tell your mum and sister
But tell me my mum and sister
So I did that
Then when she told a friend who was a maid of honour at the wedding
This is where I got annoyed then
So because of a friend, Laura, lovely girl and all
But she's already had the news from a couple of other friends
That they're pregnant as well
So Valisha telling her, that was it
I'm having a fucking baby now as well
She's on the phone, she's fucking FaceTiming her
I've seen Laura turn around and go
Josh, we're having a fucking baby
So now I know that she's fucking
Getting on to Josh and he's fucking having to have sex
All the time to pump a fucking baby
It was just once in a blue moon
Legs up in the air, fucking slap my balls against her ass cheeks
And that and fucking it's done
So not planned
Not fucking having the fun of the sex
Every day and night
So I'm fucking, I'm jealous of the cunt
Look because
We haven't had this conversation personally
Alone on the podcast
You'd planned to have a baby before
In any way, didn't you?
Come on, I'm ovulating, fucking get your dick in my night
No, no, so
It's a good job she's not in the other room
Sorry, Kay's nan as well if you are listening
I'm not fucking doing it
No, no, it wasn't like that
We weren't really trying
But it was just one of them like we just said like
If it happens in this time frame it happens if it don't
It necessarily doesn't
But yeah, but yeah
No, and then obviously we was looking up to have Kobe and she's
A cheeky bug
So I ain't got to be jealous of you then as well
Yeah, it's just annoying
Fucking try for it
And get loads of sex and yours was just after
Fucking one night
Yeah
But to be fair because I did say to you after fucking
Kobe was fucking
Conceived I was like mate I'm going to fucking start pumping away
And fucking try on that self night because
That would have been all a deal for me that would have been born
At the same time
It's going to be about 18 months
Difference between their age
So, you know, they still got time
I mean, how are you feeling about future son-in-law
I mean we'll wait
18 years or whatever
I've already told Kobe she's never having a boyfriend or girlfriend
Until I say
I mean, you're not going to be a boy then anyway
So if you're all
Before I allow it
I asked if Kobe would be a Valentine's card
Okay
So I don't know if it's controversial or whatever
I didn't know whether to
But yeah I've got a Valentine's card
I mean did you sign it from yourself
It just depends on how you fully
See it though really
Whether it is romantic or not
Yeah as long as it's
Not in a sexual way
Then it's all right
Because some people would say you can't give your kids a bug
And Valentine's card
Yeah I want you to be more Valentine
Spending time with me
Yeah so I didn't word it like that but I didn't
I can't remember what I worded it was more like
Thanks for bringing laughter and joy and stuff like that
So she can't read it but
No but you can read it to her
Maybe it keeps sake
Yeah that's true you just got on the topic obviously because you said
You want your son
No they listened to me two minutes ago
Yeah
But you know literally
I said we're going to fucking move on to something else we did
Not onto what we were going on it's been eight minutes now
We will save
All the correspondence for next week because
Touching on Abbas Mark James we always appreciate it mate
We wasn't missing episodes of the podcast because I didn't want to talk about
Shitty United or anything
Is that what he said?
Amongst other things yeah
You'll get your airtime next week mate you know just keep the messages coming in
Obviously Liverpool finished top of the Champions League group
United unbeaten in the Europa League as well
Only team to be so you know basically the same
Yeah great actually man
Yeah as JD just said yeah
We'll get on all the correspondence next week we'll smash them all
Next week we are sorry that we haven't done any this week and we have
Missed two but as JD said life gets in the way
Sometimes it would be great
If this was our full time job because then we can guarantee
Yeah if we had
You know money coming in from it or if we had enough money that we could
Have a whole Friday off to be able to just dedicate
Yes we're doing this because we as I say
We haven't done the correspondence we could still rattle on
We've had the correspondence for another hour or so
And then correspondence would then do correspondence we could do like a three hour
But no one would want that
I fucking love it mate
We would have to divvy it up into fucking three separate episodes
But no we do always appreciate
Keep sending in the emails the whatsapps
Fucking everything
Links are always in the description
The hey whats wrong with you any questions you got
I do want to start
A new feature as well we did want to get on to it today but
We've fucking waffled on
I want to call the section new world orders
And essentially following in
The great Donald Trump's footsteps
America I want you to imagine if
You became the new president Trump
Or the new president of the world
And you could just fucking start signing up new laws
Legislation rules that people have to do
You know it could be as silly as fucking everyone
Has to wear pink t-shirts on a Monday
Between 9 o'clock and 12 o'clock
Or something serious
You know that any snow day
Has to have a day off work as well as a school day as well
Send them in
It kind of ties in with hey whats wrong with you
Anyway put the other way around
Instead of just moaning about someone you can moan about
The whole world or where you are
And yeah just fucking say if you was in charge
What would you make
Make everyone avoid to
Yeah and we'll get on to that next week
As long as
As well as every other correspondence
We've got emails we've got some confessions
Sending you confessions to us as well we've got a couple of those ready to read
No rants in
We'll try not to rant next week I mean we do it all the time
We say we'll start off with the correspondence and then we
Have something else to rattle on about
The fucking the love us chatting show
It's the short period at all
I'd like to believe that mate
What's wrong with you
Or anything else
But in that sense then they're coming for themselves
And selfish
To be fair we all lock a bit of self-loathing sometimes
It's the most fucking that I ever get really anyway
I think I've got to look after myself still
The joys
She's proper milking it man
Jesus Lord
And for weeks
Are you sure
We've got a couple minutes
Do you want to put that out
Yeah fuck it man I've told her anyway
She had the little pot belly straight out of her eye essentially
When it comes to looking 14 weeks you can see
And she kept saying
You can't tell
Part of the reason why she ended up telling work
Was because in her eyes she'd finally parked
But she was showing
I was telling her
I was letting her live in her own little bubble
And I was standing there looking in the mirror
And I'm like you've got to relax
But when you relax that's how you are most of the time
So you can see when you're relaxed
Yeah but I'm standing like this
You can't really tell
And then fucking every week then
Since she's popped at 16 weeks
And he's so big now he's massive now
And honestly I can see she's getting bigger
But she still thinks she's smaller than what she is
And I'm like fucking hell
And then the other day
I ain't got no jumpers that fit me now
Every time I do this so reaching her hands in the air
It winds up over the fucking belly
It's still covering her
Stop reaching up because you don't need to
So I ended up having to go
And get a long jumper so she could put that on
Fucking they're just stupid stuff
I can't be honest cooking
Yeah I'll cook again then shout out
If you're in the kitchen have a tea please
Decaf tea obviously
She's always had weird tastes
Pickled onions out of a jar
And then put it on a burger
Yeah she's always had weird tastes
He loves fucking chocolate
So not actually fucking it
He loves it when she's eating chocolate
That'll come back to haunt me in 15 years
Son, what is this hole in the Nutella?
Don't worry about it dad
You know what
It's always been one of the worst things about having a lad
Knowing that every time we leave the house
Some is getting fucked
Like something yeah
What happened to the marigolds under the sink?
What happened to all my fucking
Moisturising cream?
You know I've got dry knees just come to fuck you know
What's up?
Come to about 13 you're gonna have a fucking
Well we both work different
It'll be exhausting mate
Yeah that's the way we have to look at it really
I mean I am on the ball sweet
I mean now I'll save that for next week if he brings up
But yeah
I'll say she's milking it anyway
And hence why we aren't gonna go on for another fucking
Half an hour because I do need to get home to her
Walk the dog and then
Yeah I won't have a takeaway tonight I'm not fucking
I'm gonna cook tomorrow I'm not gonna cook tonight
Take away tonight what have you done with that?
I'll send you a picture
So yeah send all your messages in still we are gonna get onto them next week
Again it might be a little bit of a long episode next week
If we have enough time
But yeah I know you enjoyed it
There's no point saying hope you enjoyed it you fucking loved it didn't you James?
We'll see yous next week
Enjoy it Peace Bye
Oh so sly their chemistry's electric
You can't deny