Ash and JD, they're the hosts talking real, they're not like most
The podcasting fun with a side of wit, get ready
Cause you won't wanna quit, they bring the laughs, they bring the noise
Sharing stories of their crazy joys from deep discussions to silly tales
The real talking podcast never fails
Step your headphones, step ready to groove
Ash and JD will make your mood improve
The banter that's witty and no-souls sly
Their chemistry's electric, you can't deny
The absolute nightmare of a week
Started off, van broke down, waited two hours for AA to turn up
Made me end up being ill for a couple of days
And then trying to catch up on work
Couldn't get over to Ashley's on Friday
Should have been able to get there today, but even today started off as a drama as well
The banter I borrowed off my dad's, issues with that
Then getting to the job, issues there
Should have been a lot easier and simpler
And then by the time I did finish, Ashley's got plans
He's fortunate enough that he doesn't have to work weekends
And he can spend the time with his loving family
He's a Mrs and Beautiful Baby girl
So you've got me on my own again
Just like 12 months ago
Unfortunately we haven't got any Aunt Bessie's beers this time though
You know the Victoria sponge pudding one
I think it was a crisp chicken dinner one maybe
I remember them not tasting too bad
But no, I've just got a standard
I say a standard beer, I've got my own
It's a French lager, cheap and cheap from Asda
Four of them for £3.10 or do believe it is
Champing Wells it looks like, I don't know
Most likely have butchered the pronunciation
It's quite a nice continental lager
And yeah I do quite enjoy it for how cheap it is
You really can't go wrong to be fair
Well as I say it's been a drama of a week
But because we did promise to still get you an episode out this week
I am just doing a quick joyful, or try and be joyful
I've probably put some of yous in a bad mood already since it's just me
But if you can bear to put up with me just for this little bit of time
Then I promise you we will get through this together
And then next week we're definitely on it
I've got some beautiful, beautiful confessions and questions and everything from yous all
I will save them for when it is the dynamic duo back together again next week
Because we need the answers from both of us
Yeah I just thought I'd give a quick update
It's been a long week, really really has
Still not 100% over the illness as well
I don't know if I had a chest infection
But as I say, two hours waiting for the AA to turn up on the side of the motorway
It was freezing, I was literally behind the barrier
Pacing up and down in this small little 5 metre gap
Because it was overgrown everywhere
Trying to just keep a little bit warm
And by the time the AA turned up I couldn't get the van fixed
So got towed back home basically
Dropped the van off at the garage ready for the next day
But Jesus, for anyone that hasn't been towed before
I mean it's not the best of experiences anyway
But when it's pitch black, I mean it wasn't even that late
But I think it was probably around about 7 o'clock
When the AA started getting towed
So yeah, it's dark, you're on the motorway, getting towed
You've got no control, you have to just go
Because you've goaded by the vehicle that is towing you
And you've just got to stay out
Just keep your hands north and tight on the steering wheel
But obviously because your engine's not switched on
You have to just hold it north and tight
You've got no power steering
When they turn you've got to real push your hands into it
Get those elbows into it
A bit of shoulders if you need to as well for the extra strength
And the towing, being towed itself isn't the worst part of it though
It's when you're at junctions and roundabouts and stuff
It's the other people that are driving that just blows your mind
How unaware of what's going on, some people are
I must have had probably a dozen, 12 people that don't know what that means
Other vehicles nearly go into the side of me
Well, just because they're not paying attention
Because they just assume that I'm right up the arse of the AA van that's towing me
But it's obvious because he's got his bright, and I mean proper bright
I had to put the bloody sun visor down because of how bright these orange flashing lights are
So obviously that means there's a hazard basically
So they're flashing all around his van
And then I've got my hazards on as well
And yet people still just trying to cut around the roundabout and need it going into me
And then when he's moving lanes, they're not given enough space for me to merge into the lane as well
Absolute drama, there's so many more
And I mean I've had it on the way back home today as well
This HS2, nonsense, it's just
I can't understand why it has dragged on for so long
And then because I was on the phone with Ashley while I was driving back
This one patch on the M42, honestly I've not seen any improvements
Anything done, anything different for a good 12 months
And that's not an over exaggeration
There's literally since the bridge what the train is going to run across has been put over near junction 9 on the M42
I've not seen anything else done there
And it's not put the bridge in, but there's nothing else connecting to it
So I really don't understand
So there's more night closures or something going on around that area this weekend currently as well
And then as I'm driving along
The signs say that it's closing down to one lane in 500 yards, 400 yards, the big countdown
And the fact that so many people don't understand how to read the road
And the signs say use both lanes and merge together
Yet everyone's moving into the left and I'll stick with the flow of traffic
I'll stay in the right hand side, keeping it clear
But then as I'm getting closer to where the cones divert into one lane
And well obviously I can't continue because it has to be one lane
But there was a lady in a mini two mile left
And there was loads of gap in front of her
And as I say because I'm keeping with the speed, the flow, the traffic of the left lane
Because I don't want to seem like I'm a cunt just bombing up the empty side just to sneak into the front
I'm ready to merge into the gap as the two becomes one, the boys girls
And as we get into that point she decides to speed up, to close the gap, to stop me from merging in
And she obviously saw me shaking my head in the mirror
I just don't understand why people think that I'm doing something wrong
I've not been speeding trying to dodge everyone
I've literally crawled along the same speed as the rest of them
But no, people just don't understand
The signs are there clear
For any of the drivers out there that are thinking that all was in the wrong
Just read the road, just understand
I'm not being a cunt about it or anything, just pay attention to the road
Just be safe out there because stuff like that
If I wasn't paying attention to where she was
I could have easily gone into the side of her or her into the side of me
Depending on what position if I was in front or not
And if I had noticed that she didn't leave me a gap
I'd end up having to stop in the middle of the road
And then that's going to cause more traffic
Because I've got to then try and avoid hitting the cones and get into the left hand lane then
There's just no need for it, there's too many ignorant people out there
I don't know, I feel like
I know there's already a point system but
There should be more fines handed out for just stupid driving
There's fines for being in a bus lane and speeding and that obviously
But if you could report stuff like that
If you've got dash cam evidence or something
There's a little service to post it after and just say
This driver, that's the reg, they're a gob shot
Sort them out, just bang out a fine to them
I feel like this, I'm sure I've said it before
With motorway drivers when hugging the middle lane or lane 3
There should be given fines for that as well
If it's proven that they're not overtaken
And they're just sitting idle in the middle or third lane or fourth lane
On some of the motorways, there should be given fines
Only like say £30 but they'd soon stop doing it
And start moving over to the left as you're supposed to
You'd stay in the left, overtake, move back to the left
You know, cross the road, they're there to be followed, not broken
So if they were banging out these little £30 fines
People would be more aware and stop driving like a fucking cunt
So that's added on to all the stress of today
So I'm glad I'm doing this little bit of a record to be fair
It's getting like a little bit of a therapy session
It'd be better if I was sitting with me mokka, my old pal
But unfortunately, let's say we couldn't do it
I mean, he's up by the woods today as well
Literally up by the woods
Off to a Christmas lot display, old coom abby
And then, yeah, he'd be there now anyway
If I had more patience and a better day
I would have met him up there myself with the dog
But, you know, I just had a shower
Gonna sip in on my beer, one second
Oh yeah, French lager
But yeah, I'll just need to chill, get these sorted
Get it out as quick as I can for you
Because obviously he's late
We do try and get it out early on a Saturday morning
But we have had a brief discussion
If need be, we are gonna change the scheduling
Because Fridays, definitely at the moment anyway, have been a struggle
So we might end up changing the record date, well, day
And then get him out, I don't know, maybe a midweek post or something
But if slash when we do anything like that, we'll keep his all posted
What it was, yeah, just keep the messages coming in
We, well, I say neither of us
Neither of us want to work next Friday and are trying not to
But either way, if we do have to, it's only for the morning
And we'll definitely have enough time to get ourselves out
We're all going out for a drink, you know, lads on tour
Christmas do with the boys on the beers
Lads, lads, lads
So, yeah, we've definitely got time
We're not gonna let you stay next week
So we need all the emails, messages, questions, confessions
Hey, what's wrong with you?
I should have just played that myself as I had my little rant about the road rage
Yeah, get them all in
We want all of them, we want it a jam-packed one
We're gonna try and make it as long as possible
We want it that long that we have to split it into two
So you usually get a bonus episode
But if not, then just the standard hour-length-ish
You know how we do, we'll go off the tangent and all that as usual
But yeah, if we can get as many as possible
Obviously the links are always in the description
But email is realtalkinpod at gmail.com
Hotline 07 470 488 096
Drop them Whatsapps
We're still not getting any pictures
We'll gladly keep it that way
We don't want anything rude
We just want the authenticity, the messages, the questions
Even just a bit of love
While it is in my head again now
A couple of people had messaged after the last episode had dropped
Spotify was playing off for some reason
People couldn't download at first
But that seems to have been resolved
Because I had a look at that myself
There's another podcast or music platform called Deezer
For some reason, we can't be downloaded on there anymore
But you can still listen to it, is what the messages said
So all I'd say is
If you can, just swap to Spotify or one of the other platforms
Run YouTube and that as well
I don't know why
I don't personally upload to individual platforms
I just do it through the one source
And that divides it
Well, not divides it, but it automatically uploads to
I don't even know how many different platforms there are, to be honest
But it waxes on all of them automatically for us
Just to save us a bit of time really
It's not a quick process
So if you can, we're not monetized yet still
So Spotify doesn't have adverts as far as I know
Played during our podcast
There might be some before and after
But that's as standard for everything when you listen to music
And that anyway
As I said it was, get it on the YouTube
And if you are new to the YouTube
Don't forget to follow and like the videos
As always, share it
We do appreciate when you share the videos
Well, the podcast rather
Out to new people
We love you
It's been a little while since I've checked the areas
But it's just so inspiring and crazy
When I see the stats that there's people listening in
Belgium, Japan
Over in the States and that as well
Obviously getting the odd message from people all around the world as well
It really is
As I say, inspiring, touching
And just mind-blowing really
The fact that there's people out there
Happy listening to just
Well, only one person at a table
Two people just chatting for an hour
And I mean I assume you enjoy it anyway
Since you keep listening and sending messages
But we do, we always do appreciate
It makes our week
When we get onto this
And we don't have a social life either
You know, if I
But I didn't have enough time to get over to Ashley's
Then nothing happens in my life these days to be fair
I was talking to the plumber on the job yesterday
And he was asking what the plans were over Christmas
Which unfortunately I'm working most of it
By the looks of it anyway
There's just so much to get done
And then he asked if I was doing anything New Year's Eve
And I stood back and thought for a moment
And it's been about ten years
Since I've been out on New Year's Eve
Because the last time
Was literally when I got the wife's number
Because she used to work at the pub
That we used to drink at, me and the boys
And she was, I'd say newly single
And then as soon as she split up with me
I was badgering her, hounding her
And then yet that New Year's Eve party
That they had at the pub
I just wore her down, she finally said yeah
Give me her number and that was it
It's all downhill from there then
So yeah it was quite, I say quite sad
It was quite eye opening
When I realised it had been that long
Since I'd done it
But I say that, thinking about it now actually
When we was, I say we
When she was running in the pub and all of us
Just the pretty face there
I did used to do the DJing there
And we did the one New Year's Eve
So I suppose that's probably the last time I've had a New Year's Eve
Even though it weren't a night out
I was technically in the pub because we were living there
And then that was eight years ago maybe
Fucking hell, time flies so fast
But that's what happens as we get older
You know, it's just a part of life
Time flies, many of us initially
You know, we're a week and a half away from Christmas
And then New Year's right after that then
2025 is literally knocking at the door
And yeah, it's a madness
And speaking of madness
James, always appreciate your messages mate
Currently, the time as I've recorded this
I've got Sky Sports News on in the background
And it's not looking good bruv
Full of them, of being in Liverpool at Anfield
It's such a mad Premier League season this year
Well, not year so far
But this season so far, it's absolutely mental
You know, no one, I say no one
Not many people would have expected Genoity to have had such a poor season
The downfall of Manchester City
Ten games, one win, eight losses I think in one draw
Something like that
You know, it's a big game tomorrow
So Sunday the 15th for anyone that's not listening
As this comes out shortly
You know, big Manchester Derby
You know it's not looking great but neither is City
So it's on the cards to be either a good game
Or an absolute shit one where nothing happens
But Liverpool, they had every opportunity to
Just take this title by the scruff of the neck
And yeah, they had a slip up last week
And it looks like they're having an absolute fucking mare this week now
Were 1-0 down, then they pulled one back
Down to ten men as well
But Fulham, they pulled it back, the 2-1 up
If Chelsea win tomorrow
I think they're only one point beyond Liverpool then
I mean I hate to admit it but Ashley might be wrong
Chelsea being the dark horse this season then as well
It's a madness
But that's why we love the Premier League
And football in general
Because you just can't predict it
Unless it's the usual Man City anyway
Not this season's Man City anyway
I've seen a little bit of a conspiracy theory going around as well
That because of the case that has just finished
Even though they've not come out with a verdict yet
But the case against Man City with the 115 charges
And the theory saying that Pep and the City players
Are losing and playing poorly on purpose
To try and sway the decision of the jury on the case
To say basically that even with all the extra funds and hidden figures
And cheating that they've done basically
That it's not made them a dominant force
And that they are still only human and just a standard team
And they can go through bad patches
And it's an absolute load of shod
Look, whoever's going to come out with the actual verdicts of these charges against Man City
If they look at the current form and think
Oh yeah, but they didn't play well this season so it can't be really in their favour
Everything that's going on
They're an absolute mug and they need their bank balances checking
To see if they've been having a little back-ender
Checking to see if they've got any Swiss accounts or anything
Because they're going to be getting paid off
If they're going to be saying that Man City aren't guilty
And they don't reserve what is rightly going to come towards them to be fair
Well, same for another footballing podcast
James, let me know what you're saying mate
Is this the downfall of slots?
Our Liverpool in crisis?
We need to know your feelings mate
Because you are the big Liverpool fan
And yeah, we want to know how sad you are
Big fixtures over the Christmas period as well
I mean not massive games
There's individual ones but there's a lot of games coming in
This is what we love the Christmas period for
It keeps us entertained
And save, no I'm going to be working most of the Christmas it looks like
But I am going to leave it there
I'm struggling a bit now because I'm not sucking on the beer enough
Let me just have one more sip before I go
Mmm, oh yeah French Lager, beautiful
Do if any of yous do see it in the shops
I'll get it from Asda
It's a creamy little can
Just a 330ml can lock
Same as your standard Coca Cola and Pepsi size cans
It's got a little red crown on it
Comes in a small four pack as well
Beer special, Ren Des Beers
Looks like Champignols is the main name of it
But it is real nice cheap lager
For how cheap it is, 4.5% as well
That's stronger than most of your average beers
So yeah, without sounding like an alcoholic
I'm going to sign off there
Get me a Stanley Nick
Go grab another one out of the fridge
I'm going to sit here
Wait until I get hungry
Order a takeaway
Don't know what I'm going to have yet
I'm going to treat myself
I'm on my own for a couple more hours
The wife is out
So I'm going to make the most of it
Watch the last of the full and beating Liverpool
And yeah, I don't know, find some shots to watch on the TV to prepare
Or do I want to watch the video game?
I'll be solid that in a little bit
My thing is, get this down my neck
Get another one
And fucking carry on de-stressing
And yeah, early night for me
Work again tomorrow
Oh, is this a goal?
Liverpool had just scored
James, you've looked out there
Don't think you might
But there's still another five minutes or so left
To be fair though
Let's say we're not a footballing podcast
But this is relevant to what's going on at the moment
I've just been not slagging them off
But giving you a bit of banter
Even if it's another draw
It's still a slip up
It's not good enough for where Liverpool were
Nine points clear at one point
It's not good enough, is it, mate?
So yeah, let me know how you're feeling now, mate
Does that change you up a little bit more?
Are you there, buddy?
Jadaaa!
Even though it's not him
Poor Salah
Arnie Slott's loving it
He's back on top
He's not showing his head
I don't even...
So yeah
Let us know how you feel about that, mate
So yeah, signing off
Have a good one
Whenever you listen to this
Enjoy the rest of your evening, weekend
Have a good day
All that jazz
And if I don't see you for the week
See you for it to winter
Peace!
You can't deny