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Yes, it is us, Ash and JD, back on the real talking
Back coming in your ears
After a few
It makes the heart grow stronger mate
Unfortunately it has been a couple of weeks
It's been a hard couple of weeks all round
Little babies, one now
Yeah, little cubbies, how quick has that gone?
It's flown, Bob
And JD was just signing off the part
Obviously we've had a few messages of asking, have we given it up? Have we lacked?
Unfortunately for you guys, we are still here
Yeah, unfortunately
For some James
I'll get onto your messaging in a minute mate, don't you worry there kid
It's just been a long couple of weeks
I had my holiday as well, we did work and all that
Yeah, we just couldn't get along properly
Well it's busy
But here we are
Yeah, we're back, we're back with a bang
I mean, you know, not the good con anyway
Or it could be a good con, depending on how much you've enjoyed this episode
I mean what have we missed in the last three weeks really then?
There's been a lot more UAP
I was literally going to say the same thing
Every time I go on TikTok now there seems to be another UAP
But it's coming, they're slowly releasing stuff
Because I had a congress thing in America, and now I'm about another one
There was that Manchester one, you see that one
And we've one of the USA, well I think it was USA meeting
Or it might have been a national meeting or something
Where confirmation that aliens live in the ocean
Right, well it would make sense being to
You're looking at me like you haven't seen that one
No, no, I've seen a few things about that
You looked a bit distant as if to say where's this one coming from
No, it's just like you read in my mind
Oh right
Because it UAPs
I'm going to say a wave out there, walking out
But yeah, it's an apparent confirmation that they're living in the ocean
But were they here before us?
This is what we need to know now
How much information are they holding back from us?
I know we've said it before but I'd love to get proper confirmation
Like proper footage, just something to say
The fact, you know just the proof that aliens exist
And the ghosts
And the ghosts, yeah
But I feel like, I mean we have been saying it long enough now
I feel like it's on the verge of it coming out
The flat earthers are so salty about it though
I've laughed more socks off the last couple of weeks
If you think about how flat, you know there's a...
Well it makes me laugh so much
Because I see every experiment that's done
They can't prove that water sticks on a cylinder, on a ball basically
But it's not, if you're trying to do an experiment with a ball that has no gravity
How's the water going to stick to it?
If you pour water on the top of a ball it's going to roll off obviously
Because you can't create gravity in this ball
And then...
Silence
Again we have a gyroscope
So that's something that naturally finds its perfect level
They're saying it doesn't matter where you put that on earth
It's always going to be on its own points
Well yeah because gravity is coming from the centre of the earth
So it's always going to be consistent all the way around
No you remind me of Brian Cox there mate
Smart things and that
Big brass
Got big brains you know
My man got the big brain
Well yeah I keep seeing all these stupid videos
And it is because none of them still have the answer of why
Why would they lie about the earth being flat
As opposed to a sphere or egg shaped that it is apparently
Allegedly according to NASA
And again with all the, oh but every picture that we've got of the earth is photoshopped
Yeah because we haven't got a big enough camera to take a full picture
And if it's far enough back it's not going to be a good clear picture
So obviously the satellites are going round taking individual pictures
And it gets put together like a big jigsaw puzzle
Yeah no I don't know where this flat thing came from
Because someone's got to go seeing that it was round
And was like woah woah woah or flat if you want
And then be like what say it's round
I'll kind of get some of the other conspiracy theories where
They've deleted a section of history, you know the Tartarians and stuff
Which we will deep dive into at some point
Is that obviously, have you seen the thing on Netflix where he does that last civilisation
Exactly, Brian Cox, not Brian Cox sorry
Is that over here, is that English?
Graham
Yes yes yeah, what's his name
Oh god, well I know you on that note, Graham Hancock
Yeah because he goes about that last civilisation
Like an advanced one, if you look at the hydrographics
All the way like the Mayans
Yeah you've got the Mayans
And like other civilisations that was ahead of its time but then have seen them last
Like how do you move like a thousand pound granite worth of stone
Like two thousand years ago or whatever it was
And now you need cranes and everything to move it, stuff like that
Well again, since you just touched on that
Another one of these bollocks fucking flat twats
Sorry if we're offending you if you are a flat ear for listening
But you are a bit of a retard
So apparently before Isaac Newton discovered the theory of gravity
Gravity acted differently and hence why they were able to move these thousand ton slabs of granite and that
It's like a blue
Yeah gravity acted differently so the average man could lift them up between them and move them
And it's, no, it didn't just create gravity and it didn't act differently
There was other technologies
Again I know I touched on it in an older episode of the podcast
But there's, I don't know if it was on that ancient civilisation of Graham Hancock
But there's basically theories of how sound waves essentially
So resonating through different sound waves that helped move these stones and stuff
So you'll see with some experiments where they've got a speaker
And then when they're playing music and stuff the balls are hovering above them
So essentially that put on a much larger scale
Because obviously there's frequencies that we can't hear
Even just the other day for example
I was in the hospital for other reasons and whatever
I haven't broke anything
But as one of these nurses had
The turn on the machine, I don't know what the machine was
But it ended up being a high pitched noise
Now as she's done it I've already started to wince
Because I've suffered with tinnitus
So I wince and essentially put my finger in my ear
Almost a good second before the wife heard it then
And she's like, I don't get it Jay, you've literally moved before I heard that
And it's because as it's getting up to the highest pitch that everyone else could hear
My ears already heard it
And I don't know how but yeah I did
But again I know once you reach a certain age you stop hearing certain frequencies as well
I think it's like 25
Yeah because shopkeepers sometimes used to blast this frequency that under 21s could only hear
So they wouldn't hang around the shops
Hanging out in Seoul off Giants, Holland Park
Fuck the police
15 bucks little man, put that shit in my hand
How did it start though?
It's gonna warm me up now
Yeah because he asked for a nickel back or something
Put that shit in my hand if that money doesn't show you
Oh me oh me oh my jungle earth
Oh wee oh wee oh I think I wanna know ya
So for anyone that doesn't know that Giants, Holland Park
Multiple films to be fair though isn't it?
The original one that was from was called Clerks
Martin, Great Clerks
It was Giants, Holland Park and Bob Stroggs back with that one
That was the second
Yeah I think it went Clerks, Giants, Holland Park
But it's like they're all the same characters but it's about Clerks
They've done a lot of films I would say and it was Clerks 1 and 2
More Rats, you remember that one?
More Rats, Dogma
I love Ben Affleck and Matt Damon
Yeah that's all I was gonna say
There's a teaser the other day actually of Dogma 2
And it was Matt Damon's character
So I won't do any spoilers of the actual film
But he's back and he's got his memory back again
So we'll see if he's gonna kick off again
I haven't watched Dogma for a year
I feel like I'm gonna have to get on to him again
There are good little series to watch
A series of films to watch through to be fair
I watched the Noah, Giants, Holland Park
Did you watch that one?
Yeah where it was the movie of the comic book that was made of them
I think they've done it for the money really, they tried to be too hard
All the cameos and all that
It's worth a watch but I wouldn't force myself to watch it
I mean if I do go back through watching the Clerks and all that in their order
I might end up watching it at the end for the sake of people
The thing about Clerks, it's that song that goodbye horses
What he's doing, the cock tuck
Which a lot of yous probably do at home don't you
It's quite a common thing these days
Which we won't get on to that, we've voiced it enough times over the past
But yeah the aliens are there man
They've got to start showing their faces sooner
Have they got faces though?
It could be like Arrival where it's more like a hand
Remember that one and they don't speak
Telepathic, my own readers
Yeah there's that
That's a great film actually Arrival, I watched that a few weeks ago
There is some good ideas in films right now
What was it, not Sixth Sense
What was it Sixth Sense?
That's the Ghost one isn't it?
Yeah with Bruce Willis
They're in the field aren't they?
Oh god, they're in the field?
Yeah they see them in the field at first
At the end they basically go to water
The aliens are harmed by water
I'm trying to think of who to call
A Quiet Place
No, oh god
A Quiet Place is where they make the noise
But they're afraid of water
I wonder if it's meant to be the same species then
So they live on a farm
It's not Mel Gibson
Is it Wacken Phoenix actually?
Oh Signs
Yeah that was a good film man
Yeah some good old classic films out there
So Aliens, we've established that they're real now
Boyden, he's making the most of his final
I saw a lovely clip where he's like
I don't know in America you have the house speaker
And he's done a montage of going back to 2022
He's not going to pardon his son
I'm sick of speaking about his subject
He's not going to do it
He's going to do it
I don't know why he always denies it
He was always going to do it
I mean again he's probably done that for a reason
Paid off whoever to prolong the court case
So it's gone to the final weeks essentially of his reign
So he could just do it and then he hasn't got to deal with the public again then
So yeah I did it, alright I'll fuck off then
Kamala Harris, there was a
I don't know what speech she was giving but
She looked like she'd had a couple of glasses of vino beforehand
She always does don't she? She had some Mont Blanc beforehand
Yeah she was slurring her words
Still a bit sultry that she lost to our man Trump
The saviour, the lord and saviour
Have you seen this stuff that like
Going on Trump, wow, someone's on the back like making
I don't know how it got into the final like
Canada is going to join America and be like the 51st day
Have you seen that? I've not seen that
They wouldn't be able to do it as 51st really would they
They'd have to do it a little bit easier
They said to, so
From what it's on TikTok
Basically he said to the Prime Minister of Canada
Join America and make you the governor
So then Donald Trump a lot this AI image of him
In the Rocky Mountains
He's just a geezer right there
So I was thinking about this the other day actually though
So how with the American politics
It's quite a celebrity status really
Obviously Trump wasn't in politics
Before and when he's made his fortunes and that
You know so he was more of a celebrity
And then the likes of Arnold Schwarzenegger
Just becoming a governor, fair enough he might have
Had to have done some educational stuff before
But still he was a celebrity, big movie after
And you tend to find that again
Barack Obama he was a politician
But as soon as he was running for president and that
He was like a big celebrity on that sense even though he was a world leader
But it does seem more of
Like a popularity game as opposed to
What their policies are really
So if we were to go down
That route now, the UK
Because it kind of seems like it's leaning
That way a little bit with the likes of the Reform Party
Having Jeremy Corbyn as their face at the moment
And how he's becoming more of a celebrity
In that sense as well
I don't know what Corbyn come out
So if
If we were to get more of a celebrity style
Person to become our prime minister in the future
Who would you think would be a good selection?
Jeremy Clarkson
We are on the same wavelength today
Yeah, because literally
Everything he says is just
I agree with
He's always been a quite controversial character
And not about, because I think Jeremy Clarkson
I think Jack, have you seen that?
Yeah
You can't say that now when you've got one of those
It's not a Jaguarius situation
Yeah
He's been quite on it for a couple of years now
The Farmers role, it's all that
And obviously he's got his own farm and all that now as well
Yeah, I feel like he's
He would be one that could easily just slide into that role
And obviously a knowledgeable person
Came from a family of wealth originally anyway
But yeah, I think he'd be able to fit that profile
And quite easily sit there
You can just imagine him on that table next to Donald Trump
Yeah, let's get this done mate
Yeah, because the other thing I'm into the words
I think that's what it is
They feel like an open book
They believe what they're saying
And they're actually trying to do it for the greater good
Whereas, you know, two tier care
Fucking prick
It's just been nonsense and lies and going back on there
Yeah, everything, I've seen another thing where it's like
We're not going to cut the fuel allowance or whatever
And have done it, we're not going to do this, we've done it
His points is the lowest on record for any Farm Minister
Yeah, well did you see the petition?
Yeah, I did
So I signed it when it was on around 17,000 as well
Oh did you? Yeah, so it literally only been out an hour or so
When I saw it
See, last time I seen it it was like over 2 million
Yeah, so again, last I saw it it was just on the 3 million
But it reached over a million signatures within 24 hours
2 million in I think just over 2 days
I haven't checked it recently now
But because they're saying it's not a proper thing
That nothing's going to happen for me
So because I signed it, I'll get the updates on it now
So once it reaches over 100,000
It has to get put forward to go to Parliament
That's the mirror of the truth
But again, because it's reached so many
If it reaches over 9 million, then that
Basically has to be done
Because that's more people
More signatures than how many people actually voted for Labour
Right, right
So I don't know how many people actually voted overall
But it's mad because there's essentially a lot
8 parties that actually got a majority of votes
So with Labour
Conservative
Because reform actually got more
But because there wasn't more enough seats available
They couldn't actually take control essentially
And then even that robot man
I don't know what party it was, but did you see
Was that for Mayor of London was it?
Garbage man, garbage man
Yeah, he got a lot
I don't know if it was a local council or for the Mayor of London
He got a lot of votes
So yeah
Essentially if it reaches over 9 million
Then they have to do it
They've got to take it to the discussion in Parliament anyway at the moment
But if it goes over 9 million
It doesn't matter about any discussion
They have to do another general election
So anyone from the UK
They can say look just sign it, find it, sign it
We said obviously House shit on a bit
And we did say it won't take long
Because that petition started from
I don't think he was a farmer, I'm sure he was a pub landlord
Yes
And obviously they're affected so much by all these changes
Because when they did the budget
Laughably, whatever they tried to cut
They've reduced the cost of a pint by one peg
And straight away I saw
A lot of bar staff and pub owners and that
Saying well we can't drop a pint
Price by one peg because we've still got the electric costs
Which is going off
Everything else going away
We can't drop the price of a pint by a pence
Because we've still got to pay out more because of everything else that they're charging
And then the logs of
I don't even know the bitch's name to be fair
The one who lied on a CV
Yes she's lied on a CV
She didn't have major job roles before and she just worked in similar
Well, smaller roles in field here at Banking
But then how much she's been claiming
There was another one that's
Her husband's minted and all that
And then she's still using
Nottingale and then
Still claim fuel allowance
For the house and they claim taxes on the second house
It's just ridiculous
Because if you're in politics you don't have to pay the council tax on your
London home if you don't live in London or something like that
It's just ridiculous
Because you need a home however it works
And then you need to work a point system in place
Or some system in place is if you go back
On your word that you vote
It goes against you then once you've hit so many points
It's got to be a general election because you've lost
You've basically lost trust in yourself
Because you've lied basically
Hopefully it won't be for too much longer now
Well I've heard
That Elon Musk is going to bankroll Nigel Farage
Have you seen this? Yes because Nigel Farage
Was asked about this as well
It's illegal for a person from another country
To donate money to a British party
But his loophole for it
Is because there's a Twitter
So ex UK branch
He can donate through their means
So Nigel was quite
Coy with the answers he says
I don't know anything about this only from what you've asked me
From the report for asking the question
He was like I don't have direct contact with Elon
He's a nice bloke and blah blah whatever
But I can't confirm or deny if anything is going to be donated
Because I haven't had any contact
So the report was like so that's a yes then he's like no I can't confirm or deny
Because I've got nothing on my side to be able to say yes or no
I can't say no now and then does
I do get a donation in the future because I don't know
I haven't been put towards this situation
So yeah again he just says the right things
He is quite cute
In a political and knowledgeable sense not looks wise
But you know each their own he might be cute to some people
Just not to me
Yeah so
There's that
I'm a celebrity who's back on
It's the same shit every hour
It's the same shit every hour X factor
What's it? Dancing on ice and you've got Strictly Come Dancing
Yeah that's brilliant it's got talent
It's always the same at the same time never mix it up every hour
I don't know how people watch it
No I don't watch any of it either
I just keep seeing
Some nonsense about Talisa
Talisa because obviously she's in the jungle
How weird does she look these days as well
I haven't seen her from Conde at my I haven't seen her
It's just full on Botox a lot of faces all stretched and that
So
I've seen an interview before she went
Into the house then but into the jungle
Because jungle is massive
She
Apparently I don't know say 10 years ago she had
A stroke and so then as the muscles
Of she's got use of face again
But she started having Botox to even it out
And then as the face got full structure
The other side to the side that wasn't affected
Needed Botox and so she keeps topping it up
To keep it all at the same point
And you think look Bab just be honest you wasn't happy
With the way you looked and so you're trying to make yourself feel better
And it just doesn't work
Yeah we don't need excuses basically
She wanted it Botox she had it done
Yeah but we know
We know what Dappy had to say about it
And then she said no
They had some bangers back in the day
And they all end ups
Not that we're going to start singing them because we don't want to get a copyright strike again
Yeah I'm just trying to think
Of if there is any other big news
That we've missed in the last couple of weeks now really
I mean it is literally just the usual
Politics too many people coming on about
The Trump
Yeah I think we've
Literally that is we have covered every good miss
Yeah I think the gist of it we really have
I mean no doubt someone's sitting there screaming
Why haven't you spoken about this?
If so email it or message
Yeah yeah please do re-educate us on anything we may have missed
Some flat arfas going
No but on a serious note
If you are a flat arfa
Then let us know well tell us
What your beliefs are what evidence have you got
Yeah just try and convince us
Now I'm looking on my phone at the moment
I don't know if you're getting the same
Amazon so I'll keep getting notifications from Amazon
And I've just had another one again now
Get Halloween get Halloween ready and this and that
Weeks ago I don't know what I'll just keep getting
These notifications I'm still getting black Friday
Offers right but if I was to click on it
Obviously we haven't got black Friday no
So yeah Amazon I don't know if it's just my phone but
The apps are
I haven't heard anything come up on mine
Maybe it is just my phone
I'm not going to mess around with you too much because we need our phone
I ain't going to mess
Speaking of phones hotline is there
Get your messages whatsapps in and that on there
07 470 488 096
Keep sending them in
Email address
RealTalkingPod at gmail.com
Send the emails in on there as well
Okay any questions any stories
Confessions questions voice
Whatever you want to send send it over
Here for you
Oh yeah I'm going to get on to the hate in a moment
We're here for the real talk the real answers
Who are you referring to with the hate mail mate
Well firstly we will just say
Apologies again for anyone that did message
Where are we and whatever thinking it is the end
It isn't just our times again
But yeah we will get on to James
Now I'm surprised to be fair because it's been three weeks
Missed only had two emails off of James
So his first one was top of the league
And loving life
For anyone that is new to the podcast James is a
Liverpool fan he's not a Liverpool resident
He's consistent with it mate
He loves it he's been crying into his Jürgen Klopp pillow
I don't think he's crying no more mate
Because we haven't been on for a couple of weeks that's why he's been crying
His Arnold Stott said he's fucking right there now
He's got a fucking worn out because he's been rubbing the fucking
Laugh out of it
Yeah when the bit round Madrid
So long
Laugh
Definitely yeah
Yeah he's loving
Loving love at the top of the league
Just make the most of it while you're up there
It's still mad how bad City were
In the month of November no one expected it
No one had seven games without a win on the bingo card
No no
But he says
They'll be alright and we were like no he's going to be six
And they're definitely not going to be six they won't finish top to
At least
We've still got the rest of the season to go
You do as I said before
Arnaz Sluts walked into a team that's already won the Premier League
A couple of bad seasons with injuries and stuff
The spawn of that team is still there
And Chelsea joined second at the moment
Yeah but so are Brighton
No Brighton no, Brighton have fell off
They're not joined second, they were second the other night
But Chelsea you know
It's such a congested top half of the table though
I mean before the other night against Arsenal you know
It's only four points off the top four
Well it's both ways though ain't it
They don't want to look down
It's close enough to there as well
So his second email anyway
Because we can't keep talking about football
We're first order
Or the Tolls
So his second one was too much to handle that you can't drop a puck
That's going to be after the right Madrid guy ready
Honestly after the right Madrid guy
After Salah
Yeah but that
We've already explained it to you James
We was too busy lad
You just worry about your non purple binge you won't
We do apologise James
We know you've missed us
Hopefully you're not too hard listening to us right now
Rubbing on your arnie slut
We will get into a couple of questions now
Right
We've had across the board
First one top of the list our best order
It's just where it is but yeah
So this one's from Bree and she says
Since I get it all the time what's your favourite type of cheese?
Ooh
So while you're thinking I will just say
I did have while I was on other that I was from banging
Bree squares
The pub that we was at
Bree bites big chunky bastards
Rolled up in breadcrumbs deep fried
So you bite into it oh goobius fuck
Banging
As a man who's not had many cheese boards in his life mate
I like red cheese
So that's the cheese I really like
So when I see red Lester or crisps or whatever
I do not know if it's a red Lester
So yeah red Lester's not a cheddar but it's still close to a cheddar
Yeah
What's that mouldy one that stinks though that's blue
Blue cheese
You know what I love though
It's the same stuff like blue cheese
That's stuck with that
I would love
I would love Aldi's naming stuff
So you know like Ripoff or Snickers is a marathon
He's a racer because Snickers used to be called marathon
I would love that
It's just finding that cheesy alternative
So everyone gets it it's a bit of a dig
At the same time like penguin seals
Give me that job
So someone's looked at cheese with blue cheese
Literally was
Because was it the
So the colour orange was named
Orange before the fruit orange
Oh ok and then they're just named
Orange orange
I think after them ripoffs the other day
I've got to go for that
But to be fair that type of cheese
Because again Camembert's the same as well
It's pretty much the same
Yeah because
Have you ever had a Camembert though
Potentially as I said
The best way to have a Camembert
Is because it comes in a brown
So it's got a skin looks like a white mouldy skin
It's not mould it's just
You could look at it and think that's white mould but it's not
And call it white mould
White skin
You can't say that basically
Careful I get us cancelled
Non-diversity skin
America
So yeah
Get it
Bang it in the oven
Get it all nice and hot on the inside so it's all nice and gooey
And then you get some bread
Bit of chia battered or something
Slice it up, toast it, butter it, dip it into the cheese
So you know what a fondue cheese fondue is
The brie cheese from Camembert
And it's beautiful mate
So if you're putting that on a board then
You have your little pork poise, some sausages
And your deli meats
Your little salamis and stuff and that dog
Bit of onion chutney and that as well
It's beautiful
Cheeky cheese board
Not just a little party food but it does get expensive when you start doing it
Yeah
You get it, you sit there, you watch a film
The problem is though if you do it and you do like it
You can't just have one brie or camembert between the two of yours
Got to have your own one then
And
Not going to recommend it before him but the skin
The white mouldy skin
Not too much though
He'd be able to have a little bit more dog can have the whole lot
Because of the size of him
But yeah
I'd say that type of cheese
Because there is more of them but yeah a brie slash camembert
That would be mine really
Thanks for your question
What a good name as well brie
I don't know if we did this when she messaged the first time
But it was only brie Larson that I could think of
With the name brie
So yeah
We've done James as well
Lauren in with a message
Is it childish to ask my
Partner for a love letter as my Christmas gift
And then she's had a little bit of context there
They're a talented writer
Been together blah blah
Sorry I don't mean to gloss over it
You have given a lot of information to be fair
And I don't have much sentimental
Written by him and I wonder if it's silly
To ask for something like that
When you're no longer in your teens
Or early twenties so she's asking is it
Too much of a soppy thing so I want to
Just use your imagination write me a little love letter
I don't think so
I mean obviously it costs nothing
He just needs to put his feelings down on paper
I struggle with that kind of stuff but if he's a talented writer
It should come easy for him so it shouldn't be hard
I think the problem lies though
That if she's asking for it she won't
Give it as much then
If it was done out of a surprise
Then there would be more sentimental value to it I believe
I don't think there's any harm asking for it
I don't think it's childish but I just think
Probably should have dropped the hint a long time ago
Not a couple of weeks before Christmas seriously
Well maybe she hasn't yes I'm
I was going to say something nasty then but don't do that
That's crossing the line that's too nasty
Especially with Christmas coming off
Some people only get it tomorrow so yeah
Lucky bastards
No don't be this childish
I'd pose that
Is it going to mean less because you've asked for it
So just have a little think about that
See how that bloats your boat then
Then we've got Jess with a little message here as well
Why is it that some people
Seem like they're going to be successful in school
Yet aren't successful out of it
So some people's pride
Is from the ages of 11 to 16, 18
And then some people's aren't
Some people's come in there primed from different aspects
Whether that's from a sports or from like
A work ethic or just loads of factors in
Some people have their time
Where they're better at something I think mine
Still hasn't happened yet I'm hoping to see
2025 maybe
So yeah I just feel like the people that you think would do well in school
Like I won't say names
But you know you feel like they're going to
Fuck them side of the names who are you thinking of
So I always remember that one
Was it David something
It was the smartest lad in school
Because he got the best grade in school
Well him and to be fair looking back
I don't know why we thought he was a smart lad but Stuart
Churchill I know I thought he was smart
I think because he hung around with them lads
They didn't really hang around
He was part of the smart group of friends
About like he was going to achieve stuff
But then
There's anything wrong with you all need a job and want money and that
But I remember him he ended up becoming a manager in McDonald's
And he was happy with that but he didn't want to achieve
Anything more I know McDonald's do offer a lot of opportunities
Yeah someone's trying to look if he progresses and keeps progressing
He's laughing at it
I think he's a smart lad
I always thought he was going to do more
But as I say when I think about it
Years ago I thought he wasn't smart in school
I just remember thinking when we were 18 or 19
Seeing him in McDonald's I thought he would have been doing better
But one that I always looked
I'm sure I said it on one of the earlier episodes
In the part anyway
Because I used to get bullied in school
One of them Brett who was a part of that gang
That used to bully me
I remember us going to the blues game
And he was working behind the desk selling the tickets
And because he used to bully me
I was like oh yeah you're doing well for yourself
And you prick
Because I was an electrician back at the time
But I knew I was going on to better things
Than what he was
And I was like yeah that serves you right you prick
Yeah that was a good one
I remember we used to have the conversations
Back in the day when we were in school doing the sleepovers
Midnight talks but before going to sleep
There probably was midnight learning
We were youthful we could stay up until after the clock in the morning
Always talking about
The different girls
Just thinking back it's funny how
We never thought the girls were going to be successful
But we thought they were better
And as soon as they left school
They banged out 20 kids and they've got nothing to show for you
I just think it all depends on life circumstances as well
There's some people that hasn't had a given to them
They strive for more
I would have liked a bit more
Information on that email from Jess to be fair
Who have you seen from school
That's not lived up to your expectation then
That would have been nice but
Never mind I ain't going to badger
We appreciate the question
I think as you pointed out straight away really
There's a lot of people speaking high school
The things that are easy for the rest of life
What was that film now?
Kevin Hart and the Rock
Central Intelligence
Kevin Hart the man
The football team
The Rock was a big chunky boy
It all flipped on its head then
Well I'm saying that, no he was still successful
In his career he just didn't do what was expected
From high school wasn't he
I like that, I'm not on it anyway
Good film, you should go and watch it people
And then we have one here from
Tegan
Is it weird that all you want to be an adult
And not a teen forever or a child again
And I see a lot of teenagers
Grieving over their childhood and wishing they could be
Become a kid again
All that they don't want to grow up
My biggest goal in life right now
Is pretty much that my frontal lobe develops
I don't want the frontal lobe
So yeah it's a part of your brain
Yeah we were saying that
Is it weird as if like
So is it weird
That he does want to be an adult
And not stay as a teenager slash kid
No I've got quite easy answers for this
Because of his age he never had that nostalgic childhood
Watching cartoons
Good old cartoons, whatever
He's never been on a boy crowd with his mind
Playing football until literally
The streetlights come on
That's the
To see if your mate was coming out you'd have to
Go around and knock on
No mobile phones
Landline that you had to call
You'd get an hour for free so we'd be watching the clock
59 minutes I'll call you back
I'll call for an hour
Not all this internet that you can just chat online all day
I think now where the world is you see everyone
It's a bad thing for people
Want to be successful so it's built now
That you have an idea of what success is and that's cars
Women, money
There's nothing wrong with that obviously
Everyone wants those things
I just feel like you don't want that childhood
I don't think you
Depending on what age you are you don't appreciate your childhood
Until you're no longer a child
I see stuff like when was the last time you had a sleepover
And stuff like that
Well yeah not childhood ones I've always
I'd say the last time was here
You get what I'm saying on stuff like that
Going to Blockbuster and your dad going to the movie
When mum used to go out
I mentioned this the other day actually
Do you remember the smell of a Blockbuster
Dad can we have watches
He used to get these same fucking man films
With his popcorn he used to have his ball too
I just feel it's just a generation thing
Depends on what your childhood generation was
There's nothing wrong with it
What I would say though is enjoy being young
While you are young as well
We did it when we were kids
I can't wait until I'm 18 so I can legally drink and blah blah
You think literally the grass is greener on the other side
But once you get to an age
When you have to move out of the parents home
You've got your bills to pay
You've got to be yourself
It fucking slaps you in the face hard sometimes
There's been times over the years
Years ago really
Where I'm sitting there and I'm like
I've got to cook myself some food, I've got to do this, I've got to do that
Why am I doing it, why did I want this
I haven't felt like that since I was 19
When I was first living on my own
I think take it all in and enjoy it while you can
Because when you are an actual adult
It's alright wanting to be educated
And learn as much as you can and whatever
College, university, do whatever you need to
But when you're being a proper adult
As say living on your own, pets, kids, family and all that
You're going to be like fucking hell
This isn't fucking right no
Just enjoy it while you can man
Make the most of it and make the memories as well
As you were just touching on there
We did all those things because that's what the norm was
Don't try and wish it away
Make the memories be with your friends, do whatever
Those friends that want to be kids
Forever and that, still hang on to that
I suppose that's an innocence with them still
We had that
We were more naive wanting to be adults
Wanting to be older to do this and X, Y, Z
No I agree
Rule number one from Zombieland
Enjoy the small things or is it cardio
I thought it was double tap
One of the rules
That's probably like number four or five
If there is a zombie apocalypse, double tap obviously
What was it the other week now
There was 50 monkeys or was it 48 monkeys
That escaped from
They were doing experiments essentially
I don't know where it was now
But 50 monkeys that escaped
And I was like, when I heard it on the news
On the radio, whoever I was working with
Says that's how the zombie apocalypse started
I don't even know, I'm going to have to
Fill in the air time for a sec, I need to find out
If these monkeys have been found
I haven't heard anything about this
I did the first
In the Walking Dead, how did that virus come about
Because one of them was a monkey thing wasn't it
Was that 21 dies like that
And a monkey then obviously spread that way
Well because
I feel like that's been the same
Starting point for a lot of the zombie films
Or a lot of virus films and that
So, bloody cookies
If I'm going on a website
Don't ask me if I consent to cookies because you don't fucking care anyway
Just take it man
You can just decline or accept all
Well it's my fault because I've gone onto Google Chrome
When I should be using my Tuk Tuk Go app
Does that automatically get rid of all the cookies
It just rejects it
Because I'll see it pop up saying, do you accept
And it will just instantly go
So it's my fault, I clicked on the wrong app man
No it's not this one, this one's saying 8 monkeys
43 monkeys, right here we go
So more than 40 monkeys escaped
From a research facility in South Carolina
So it says earlier this month but it was in November
So
39 of the fugitive monkeys
Have been captured safely
But 4 others were still on the loose as of the 19th
November
So
It was a research facility but they're doing experiments
They're injecting them with some fucking bad things
They're injecting them with eye therapies
Anything just to see what cure they can get to
Could you imagine that like
You're just sitting there in your kitchen having your breakfast or something
43 monkeys just falling into your garden
You're with the fucking bananas lads
Yeah
Sarah
But yeah
I don't even know how we got onto that then
Oh yeah enjoy your childhood man
Yeah, we might not yeah
Double tap and enjoy the small things
Yeah
Just leave it up man, most of it man
We're gonna get onto the confessions
Right
We will do some of the other
Because we are getting on a bit now
But we'll do some of the other
Hey what's wrong with yous
Next week we've got some confessions
We've got to get them out
Now, Father Ash are you ready?
I am ready
And plus I have reread these ones
Normally I don't just so I have the reaction
But I've noticed I'm laughing so
Confession mark
My boyfriend and I are in our late 20s
And have been together for 5 years
Over the last few months his hair has started turning grey
I've hinted a few times about him using hair dye
But he doesn't seem to be phased
It's making me want to break up with him
I don't know what to do
So did she say that she's been with him for 5 years
Yeah, been together for 5 years
And the last few months his hair has started turning grey
I've hinted a few times about him using hair dye
But he doesn't seem to phase
Now firstly, thanks for sending your
Confession in
But you're out of order
You're out of order for two things
Rather go grey than bald for one
And if he goes grey before he goes bald
He's more likely to keep his hair
So be careful you wish for that
And just let him go grey because he might turn into
A silver fox
He might be a gay boy
Watch out kids
But no, just leave him be
Just be happy that you've been with him
For 5 years
Because obviously she loves him
But she's got grey hair
Does she dye her hair?
So if you're going grey
Don't worry about your own hair
Don't worry about his hair
We went a bit street
F**k it
Fathers in the hood
Fathers off the street
We had a mate in school, Nick
He had that grey patch of hair on the back of his head
And then there's a few of them that just went bald early
It's hard
I know I've got a good hit of hair
But even though I still have the nightmare of going bald
It's not good
You just do alone to f**king Istanbul mate
Get alone, that's it
You play for Istanbul now
We would be on it getting the old turkey hair
I can imagine the playing coming back from Istanbul
And the teeth just showing all over the gap
Just appreciate your man
Appreciate him still having hair
And also you're in your 20s
So assume he's going to be fairly soon
I think question yourself
Why is he going grey?
Are you putting stress on his life?
Are you f**king making him go grey?
I'm not going to be worried
Maybe you need to give him some more massages
I was going to say, if she's the problem
What would you recommend?
More blowjobs
That's your answer
I'll just try and help out
Tell her man
Trying to wingman everyone
She doesn't even know about us
She's listening to this right now
Giving him a filthy look
Because we've just backed him up
Put us on loudspeaker
Let him hear the piece
Let him hear how nasty you are
Let him hear the realness
Back to father mode now
Context
Me, male 22 and female 23
Went out for our third day to get Mexican food
Mexican food?
She was Mexican
Arriba
She got us a perfect restaurant
She ordered nachos
Nachos
She ordered nachos
We ate
I asked if she wanted to come over
She said yes
We went to mine and we had a shower
In the midst of the shower
I had this feeling that I needed to shit so bad
I couldn't get out
In less than a minute I had pooped all over the shower
I guess we can say there's no fourth bay
I feel your pain there, Jod
I can't say I've ever shit on a significant other
I feel your pain there, Jod
But we've all been there
Where you're about to explode
So for me I'm assuming that third day
You've shacked and haven't showered
So that's what
I mean, you know
He's talked her into coming back
I mean, going straight into the shower is a bold move
Unless they've been out since day one
I'm going to do you in the shower
That's a bit of a mad conversation
I was in it over some nachos
Do you want to come back tomorrow and I'll dip it in you in the shower
And there's some racist undertones here, Jod
I mean, I've been there for a day to get Mexican food
He didn't have to say she was Mexican, but he did in brackets
He could have just
He's not like Mexican food normally
Well, he probably doesn't like it then
But he could have just said
We went and had some of her native food
You know what though
When I went to California
I went to a Mexican restaurant
There's no really Mexican food over there
There is now
We've got a few now
I can't think of the other ones
There's a couple of big brand ones
Is that the one you're thinking of?
I don't know to be honest
I only ever remember being one Mexican restaurant
Before we went
I can't remember where it was
We're not racist
We're just donuts
We went there and I didn't mind at all
It was literally cold
I thought Mexican food was meant to be warm
So it wasn't given to you quick enough is what you're saying
The food was done in a convenient time
For me I thought it would be hot
I think if you're having it the right way
Where it's street food literally handing straight off the grill to you
Then it is
But it's all wrong
It's just Alfie patrolling
Protecting the house
Like a good boy
You have scared them like
Well done
So yeah
We're in the middle
Well we're at the end
A lot of it is
A lot of
Vegetable salad lettuce and all that
So it does acquire
A certain taste bud
It's a massive salsa fan
Guacamole fan
I don't need no cardos in my life
It's overrated
Guacamole to be honest
Unless you are Mexican
For me when I have had a taco ballon that
It's alright
I do quite like a quesadilla
You can add a bit of chicken or beef or something into it as well
It's not my go to though
The Italian cuisine is more
More cup of tea
I had this conversation with dad the other day actually
So last Saturday cooked
Banging homemade lasagna again
A bit
So just saying to my dad I've got leftovers of lasagna still
I'm going to have to eat them tonight or whatever
He's like I don't like lasagna
This man has been to Italy numerous times
He has spoken about moving to Italy numerous times
Yet doesn't like lasagna, spaghetti, pasta
He likes pizza
I hate the way Italians do pizza
That's because we are accustomed to
The westernised way of making a pizza
We have cheese, order meats
Whack the cheese in a croster as well
Have a load of chips on the side
Onions and the like
Because we have grown up with that
The English way of butchering things
And America, they do it as well
When you go into
An authentic Italian place to get a pizza
You have to get the individuality
You can taste individual
Minimal sauce
Not overwhelmed
Because it's a sloppy Joe
It is each to their own
I've had it
I'd still go for the classic
Papagian, Ove, authentic Italian pizza
To be fair, I'd have pizza last night as well
Don't need a cheap as the one
But I love it
Apart from doing the home cooking
Italian is my main cuisine of choice
Chinese
Ruby Moray
I'm a typical British person
Having all the standard stuff
I'd probably say that
Because there hasn't been a big choice of
Mexican cuisine places as we've grown up
It has been more so just the last couple of years
That's probably why we don't like it as much
Sushi places, Japanese
Not really
There's one everywhere now
I think the first place that I saw
Was it the John Lewis beat?
Or the Bo' John Lewis
I think that was probably the first place
I've never had it like that
When you take it off
They go off the colour of the plate
Weird
Fish, I'm not a fish fan either
I'd love to go to Japan for the food
I need to stop it
We have went a little bit off topic
So we do
Feel your pain
She happens
Imagine cleaning that up afterwards
She's alright, she's already in the shower
But you've still got to clean the bath and the walls
I imagine it sprayed
So
Word of advice
Don't go having Mexican food
Before you're going to get down and dirty
You might have been
Unfortunate and that it was just that place that you went
The meat that you had wasn't cooked right or something
But yeah I just wouldn't take the risk again
Just stick to having
Mexican food on your own
You know when you get that urge straight away
You've got to go
It is a bit of a running theme
We know that I do come close to shitting myself often
I
Walk the dog in the morning
It's literally Monday morning
Walk the dog, come back, the wife's already
Back away for a couple of days
She's had the shower but as I've come in
I needed to go and it was go
Because it's always the way as you're getting closer
To home it gets worse, worse the feeling gets harder and harder
And I'm in the door
The door's shut but I'm not locking it
I ran up the stairs and she's there brushing her teeth
I was like bab I need to go
She's trying to talk to me
So essentially she's had to go downstairs
To finish brushing her teeth
Because I ratted that toilet off
Scuttlers everywhere looking
But I cleaned my toilet so it's fine
No evidence apart from the smell afterwards
You've got to go
I did have it the other week where I was close to doing
As well I was looking at that tree and I was like
I might have to go by you in a sec mate
My friend
Hello dark red spell friend
That tree's afraid of you and he's like
Not him
So on that fucking storm front
We shall love yous and leave yous
We are back, we're going to try and keep on it again
I've been busy a couple of weeks
Working, having a little holiday as well
Baby's birthday
But we're on it
We're going to try and stay on it every week again
And bring you the content
That you all admire so much
So keep the emails and the texts and all that coming through
We shall see you again next week
Music
Grab your headphones
Get ready to groove
Ash and JD will make your mood improve
So that's when you think, oh so sly
Their chemistry's electric, you can't deny
You can't deny
Music
You can't deny
Music