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Hi everyone and welcome back to this week's episode of the real talking podcast
with your host Ash and JD
I think that was probably a little bit too fruitful for the sad circumstances
that are going on in the world at the moment
It's either on the verge of World War 3 or it's natural disasters
that's destroying everything, well, parts of America
So initially before we do start taking a piss, condolences for everyone
that is going through Storm Milton at the moment
Yeah, it's a big one, isn't it?
Yeah, anyone that is listening and are getting affected by this
Hopefully you're all safe and you're pushing through, surviving and staying strong
Hopefully this podcast can help you get through the emotional damage that you're going through
I'll tell you what, I did do my head in a bit
Obviously I'm not personally affected by the storm
But with OTV's coverage leading up to it the other day
The woman was smiling, I don't know what the presenter's name was
She's smiling when she's saying about it, you know, it's a category 5 storm
It did go down to a 4 but it's rolled back up to a 5 again
Wind speeds, this and that, blah blah
And she's smiling the whole time that she's saying it
Now I understand it's history because of the size of it
and the projected damage and everything that it's saying
But surely someone in the back, like the producers or something
should have been in our area saying, oh, pipe it down, take that grin off your face, this is fucking serious
That whole time smiling
And like, so as she's walked over to the screen
It's showing like 5 foot high, 3 foot high at first
The basic flood level, then 5 foot
Potentially it was like 12 or 15 foot if you look at the sun place
The highest that that screen went up to was 10 foot
And even so as the cameras zoomed out to show the 10 foot
You can still see the smile on her face also
That's fucking disrespectful, that is absolutely horrendous
One of my favourite things I've seen on TikTok
And I don't know if it was about this storm
Because I know Florida had a storm beforehand a few weeks ago
And it was the sheriff or the chief of the police for Florida
Or that part of county where it's going to be hit the most
And he said something like
Basically it was in regards to people looting
He says basically you'd be walking into the house
You'd be getting carried out basically
Saying they're going to shoot the fuck out of you
And I fucking with that approach
Just plain hourly is not looting
We're going to shoot the fuck out of you
Because you can stand your ground can't you in Florida
They've got a rule where you can stand your own ground
So by anything like that you are in total
Even as the homeowner you can shoot that person there and then
Well that's good
I think it's more than Florida that's got that though isn't it
There might be a bit more relaxed
I know Florida's got that stand your ground rule where
If you feel intimidated someone's like
If I pushed you mate
I don't know how far it goes
But if you say you pushed me
And you pushed me again and I shot you
I think I am doing jail time basically
Because if you're threatened it depends on the level of threat I'm feeling
Yeah so as long as you can prove that you were scared
Threatened yeah
I don't know if that's correct if I can just shoot you like that
But you know it's how it should be basically
How what yeah
Because it is ridiculous over in the UK where
You can break into someone's house
And someone beat the fuck out and you can sue them
Yeah you can sue them it's just absolutely ridiculous
No it should be
Well anyone enters your home your personal space
Whether it's intent to just steal or to do any harm
Obviously there's rapists and whatever out there
Some real nasty people
But yeah either if they're just there to rob your fucking TV
You should be able to go down and fucking cave their head in
Not 100% but you should be able to just fucking knock them out
And then yeah the police are here now
There you go he's unconscious
Or they're unconscious women can steal too
One of the best things look
Like obviously we don't have guns
Which I think is a good thing to be honest
One of the best things I've ever seen was
So I can't remember the dad's name now
But his son was getting molested by his karate
His karate instructor his son was
Fuck you now
So they arrest him in a different state
And brought him back to that state
And obviously the dad is just whiling him in the airport
As the police carried him through
They shoot him straight in the face
Does no jail time
Just got him in his service mate
That is proper
That is fucking spot on
It's good because obviously the taking
The emotions
This dad's not going to just go around and shoot anyone random
He's done that for a fucking reason
So yeah that's fucking respect to that judge that is
Which is been hard
You know you shouldn't have done it but
You know he's got to do something
So go pick up a litter for six weeks
I mean to put it in context
I mean obviously you get people that
Well they say riot but
Riot protests whatever your approach is on it
Getting to part of mum's fun angry
Finged upon on like Facebook
And you know you've got people like
Abusing the system for years just getting fucking
No jail time but a nasty thing on Facebook
Yeah
It's shit isn't it
It's fucking politics
It is fucking ridiculous
I mean I'll say more stuff again
You know but that I'll just
It is just depressing
Just going back to like the weather thing though
I've always obviously because we don't have much over it
Well we don't have them at all
Not to that extent you know like a proper one
Yeah we had that little tornado a couple of years ago
Yeah
Barely touched a little bit of Burm
I think it took a couple of roofs off
I wouldn't
I mean people are probably going to be like
Who's experienced it? No you wouldn't
But I'd like to see one in person
Quite close, not close enough so I can get something
All out of like a tornado
But like you know when you see the storm chasers
Chase after them in a proper cloth
And you can see it touch the floor
And just goes instantly dark or stuff like that
I would love to
Well you know from a safe
Space
Yeah yeah if you could be like when you go in the shark tack
But like in a storm
Virgin so if you could be in a cage
You're safe
And like the storms coming up close here
You know you're not going to get taken away
And it's miles away but I can see
That blue fucking off
Yeah
No doubt you've seen him
This Jim Gieser, he sort of looks like
Brett Hart
Or Macho Man Randy Savage
But like he's always
Doing like fucking
On Tuesdays we do arms
Because if you want to be one of
You've got to be fucking swole
So he's done one
It's all like a part of the storm
He's fucking on the beach and it's fucking
Windy as fuck
I mean the only bad thing about it really is doing
Women's press ups so he's on his knees doing
The fucking press ups, feet in the air
Like a fucking bitch
But his hair is all
If you want to get sucked off
By Paris Hilton
More then you'd get it blown off
From Storm Milton
You've got to be fucking swole
I thought that was fucking
Quite a turn
I think he's had to take a lot of takes from doing that
Because the amount of him that actually gets sent out
He's laughing his head off as he's saying
That's why he's probably on his knees, he couldn't do no more
He's been like six hours trying to just
Get it out
Apologies for anyone that can hear Rick
Flair in the background fucking wooing
It is the dog next door
I don't know, it's not going to be the postman
That's not on the door, it's probably the woman's
Having an affair again or something
Allegedly, we don't know
But nah
Shitnavers anyway
Shitfencepanels
So
Moving on from
One bad thing to
Kind of another bad thing
It is bad if it's true
And it isn't just allegations
So when I'm away
When I do sit down
And watch TV
I'll stick on Dave or Quest
And I'll use
The crappy programs essentially
The gold diggers and
The porn shop
The fixer-upers and that
But one of them, I don't know if we did speak about it
Or we spoke about it in general
One of them is the repair shop
Someone will have a broken toy from the childhood
Take it to this repair shop
And the crew will fix it up
Is this the thing on BBC One?
It might be on BBC as well
I'm sure they had something similar
Is this in a base in America?
No, it's over here in England
I think
There's a little crew
But the main host anyway
He's always got his
Peaky blinders
And he's dressed smart
Like a little base coat, Garret Southgate style
And I'm not sure
He seems like such a nice genuine fellow
Because he gets invested in the story
Because they've always got a story
If you're going to get through on the X Factor
Yeah, so he always seems invested
You'll see him shed a tear from time to time
So he does seem a nice bloke
But the other week he came out
That he'd been arrested
For domestic violence
So how true it is I don't know
But essentially
The show's gone off the air
Which is only natural
When allegations like this happen
So cut to
The show's gone off the air
Which is only natural
So cut to
Earlier today
I'm working away
Over the road from the job
I'm sure it's a courthouse
But at least they have prisoners there
Anyway, because you know when you see those
Geovans
The moving prisoners from A to B
They're constantly in and out throughout the day
So I'm doing whatever
Because I've got my dad working with me at the moment
He's going, Jay, Jay
Look, he looks like your man
The host from this repair shop
He's looking
He's dressed like him
He's got a black cap on, he's dressed smart
With his shoes, waistcoat and whatever
And I'm sure it's him
I said, well
Be a bit on the nose
Currently under these allegations
Of domestic violence, you're not going to be walking around
In your usual club
You'd be dressed down a little bit
To be a bit inconspicuous
And then
While I was on the way here
Then my dad's rang me
So it was actually him
As dad's got back home, he's been on the news
He's been into Worcester
Or whatever court it is today
He pleaded not guilty
And so yeah, it was him that was walking
Past the house
My dad's a bit gutted that he didn't run over the road
And have a picture with him
Pro domestic violence
Yeah, I was just saying
Have you heard about this young
Philly thing as well?
I saw it last night
So for the younger
Generation, I'm sure you know young Philly
Any of our older listeners
More of our age and older
Young Philly is a YouTuber
Apparently a DJ
I didn't know he did DJing
He's got a music career as well, which most of the YouTubers
Have these days
Oh yeah, do you like young Philly?
I've only seen him in a couple of
Things like that, so I know he's part of the
Beta squads
With Chunks and whoever else is in it
He's been on Sidemen
Videos
Because all that has been taken down now
Of him in the Sidemen videos
Yeah, I mean
He does a lot with Angry Ginger as well
The Garth and Tuff
Yeah
Because I saw the clip where
Angry Ginger is trying to ring
Him, I know he's not answering
Because obviously the time difference is over in Australia
So I leave him a voice note
And then he starts to do it on WhatsApp
He's like, yeah, hope you're not
Up to, oh, no
I won't say that, I was going to say something then
So he's taking a piece as if he knows
That he's done something wrong
And I thought, does he actually know then?
Is this something that he's done often?
Because he is a bit of a wild up merge
Yeah
Anyway, so
But yeah, allegedly
He's sexually abused
A younger lady
But, say a younger lady, I think he's like
27, 28
And it's a woman who's
Early 20s, so it's not like it's a massive
Age difference
It's not an underage person
Again, it's like
You know what, I think he thought it was like
Mega famous like that
I would have to
Probably get people to sort of whatever
I know some people actually
Do, don't they?
Cristiano Ronaldo, allegedly
Sure
I don't know, but no, mate
There's
It's definitely
She's a slag anyway
But yeah, footballers, they've got to do it
I know they have the nod cloths
They have the agreements with them
Basically when they're in, no one's
Allowed to fart on the stage
Because Mark Shrashford can't have too many
Pictures linked
In a ballast and stuff
So yeah, you'd have to
If you're
In the public hall constantly
Do you ever think that, like I never
Understand with these, if he has done it
It's because obviously he's probably going to get
Women throwing at him, call it bitch
So the one that doesn't throw himself
Or he wants
And she doesn't want him
Whatever, so he assaults them
Sexually
Like, why
Is that because he's getting women throwing
At him, and he didn't like the rejection if this is
The case, or, I mean for me
Just be like, you know
Was it just because he's had
Has so many women throwing
Themselves at him that when he
Doesn't, he doesn't like it
Like what cause is someone that has women
I can imagine a lot of women come up to him
Want to do that
That's the only thing I don't understand
I get what I'm saying, is it just the rejection
That? Yeah, it's a projection
Of power isn't it, you know, the Weinstein
The Diddler
All of them, the Diddler
Doing their usual nonsense
Because they've got that power around
Them and the money, that's why they'll
Force these things on them
But I'd like to
I'd like to try and give a bit of benefit of the day
Because obviously he's so renowned
Of people coming out of these
Allegations, especially more so
These days
Since the Me Too movement
However many years ago it was
I feel like
There's more of those women that are going to be chances
And because you don't know the real story
Yeah, and especially since it's in a
Hotel room, there's not going to be cameras around
So
His words against her
Her words, like, I said
No, but
She's gone to the hotel room
And she's like, what do you think's going to happen
They're not going to chat
And get the colour in both sides
If you
As someone from the UK
If you've gone all around
To the complete opposite end of the world
And you've got
Ups or downs
On the land down under
You know what's going down
Literally in the down under
G'day, mate
So that's like
But like that's the only thing I don't understand
What context is it
You know, because the media blew it up
Because I thought
It was a fake one at first
The first clip I saw
It was when it's the AI generating voice
And then I saw the actual
Clip afterwards
I was like, oh no, that's the news presenter's voice
She's got a weird voice
When I saw dinner page I was like, what, it's real?
The tiktok
News daddy
Is that the one that you showed me before?
Yeah
There's a few of them
I think it's the editing
The way they edit it and that as well
It's all quite similar
They all have the same format
Yeah
They just know what works
One person gets numbers
The copy
We've got all you lovely fans
And listeners
That are allowed to send us some messages
Here and there
And speaking of
Please do keep sending in emails
And messages
Links are always in the description
But realtalkandpod at gmail.com
We've got the hotline
0747 0488 096
On that little note
Unfortunately
The hotline isn't so hot
Today, it's been a cold one
It's
It's just
It's just not turning on
I don't know why
Hopefully it's just because it's been in direct sunlight
I don't know
It's technology
We can't trust it
If we could go back to the days of the old 3310s
It would be great
But then they wouldn't be able to send us whatsapps
That's true
We could play a game
So
We will get the
Whatsapps
As soon as I can get the whatsapps back
We will get them out to you
So apologies again
For the ones that we have missed
It's been like 3 weeks
We've missed whatsapps now
Because we did try and get through
A good chunk from last week
But we'll just do our usual
It's not coming off all over the place
That's what we're here for
Shout out to the new YouTube subscribers
And your comments as well
I do need to keep up with the comments
On YouTube a bit more
But yeah, we're on there
Links are in the description
Just send them in
We've still not had any twitter
Apart from the fake spam
Click my link and you can see my fucking flaps
You clicked that link fine
I don't need to click a link
To get a Boris
The hub's always free
So
Send in the messages still
Emails are always reliable
But
Keep with the whatsapps
I will get it rectified
I've got another old phone that I'll get onto
If need be
But
While we're talking about correspondence
Why not read some out aye
Let's get him in
A little bit Australian again
So our first one
We have got Alan with
People leaving the trolley in the middle of the car park
Lazy bastards
Yeah so I'm a bit
So what
I never start that trend
But if there's trolleys already in the middle
And close to my car
Pfft, trailing there mate
But I never start the trend
Nah, it's ignorant
So you always walk to the trolley back
Nah in Audi yeah
We have to have the pound in yeah
If there's four trolleys in it
Right by my car
Interlocked in it
Is that the right word you'd call it interlocked
Where they're all chained in together
So yeah, so they're all joined together interlocked
Mate my whole trolley's gone
Shriding with them ones
So if you put a pound
If these are the trolleys
You need to get it
How's that first one in the middle of the car park
So some of them just work about there now
So that's one of the cheeky bastards
Going up to the buggy person
That collects the trolleys normally
Or just one of the staff saying
I've got no change on me, can you just open this trolley for me please
Yeah I mean the other day when I went there
There was one unlocked
But I get it, I do get this
But if there's some already there
My trolley does go with them
I can't lie about that
See you've always done my head in
Because they've only recently
Gone back to having to put a pound
In the trolley at the as the bottom here again now
But for a long while
It was free for all
And I'd walk down the road
Obviously walking a dog
There'd be fucking trolleys all over the place
It was all scenes from a fucking zombie movie
Or something
The amount of trolleys that were everywhere
I'll shout out at some kids one day
Because they'd fucking found this trolley
Who were walking up the road
And they went to leave with their fucking drolley didn't they
And I was in the kitchen
Cooking or something
And I've heard the kids before I've seen them
Because the windows open
Then I've seen the trolley and they put it on my drolley
And went, oi don't fucking leave that there
You little bastards
And I've been fucking looking around
I said get that off my fucking drolley
And I've grabbed the trolley and started walking up
But I've been that old geezer
The angry old man
I've fucking opened the door
I said you fucking take that back down
Because I've seen all the bastards
You didn't need to do that
You stood your ground
The first bit you stood your ground
The second one that was just you being a grumpy old man
Yeah I've fucking had to tell them
They didn't, they left the old five doors open
But still I had to fucking
The fear of fucking guarding them
Give them a bit of fucking fear
Because that's what they're all fucking doing little bastards
But yeah since they put the parents back on them
It's better, there is still the odd one
Where they say sort of
I do see they'll say to the trolley collector
Because they've got the bays
And then you'll put it in the bay
And then the trolley collector will put it on the entrance
So they'll say to me
I've got no change can you just open this for me
It's them fuckers
That still leave them like all over the place
I mean it's nice when you get to
Park next to one and you don't have to walk to the trolley
To go and get one
Because I had that the other day
So even though there's no pound in it
I still fucking took it back to the trolley bay
Plugged it in
And took the imaginary pound out
You're a pound up in your ass
Yeah I like that
But it is, it's fucking
It's annoying, it's laser
So I'll park near the bay
For that reason because I'll
Because I'll prefer to get the little trolley as well
Because if we get a big trolley I'm going to get more stuff
So we can get the smaller trolley
So I'll park next to the bay
And then there'll be a little trolley
I'll just go straight to the bay and grab one by the door
Because they never have the little trolley by the door as well
Nah nah, I got a little trolley
I was like get a trolley, got a little trolley
I was like fuck me, big trolley now there
I know
Baby, so the baby
Fucking hell, that's a struggle mate
You'll have to get the extra big trolley now then
Because not all big trolley's you can get the kids in
Yeah well, the average size trolley mate
Yeah
Yeah it should work, but yeah, fucking hell
The joys of having children
Yeah
Oh god, but
I know you're playing, mate
It is, it's lazy, it's ignorance
So yeah
We should just
Take a leap out of America's book
And shoot them all, eh?
Shoot them all to death
Where's the next one gone?
Where is the next one?
Oh, got it from
Jess, Jess is saying
Hey
People in beige clothes
Get some colour in your lives
Hmm, I mean
Ah
No, you know
Neither of those are just basic bitches
Jess, yeah
That wears basic beige
Yeah, she's definitely come to the right people
That are, you know, the top of the range
In fashion
Yeah
Where all the best
Threads is it these days?
It's whatever, because we're cool
Yeah, you know, all the fucking
Proper kicks and shit
Hahahaha
Kicks and threads
But yeah
I don't know, I suppose
I suppose, isn't he like an autumn
Autumny vibe
Beige
Beige, not really summery
You don't think beige is summery, but I might be wrong
Yeah, apparently you don't have
Beige any time of the year, it's Jess
But yeah
I don't know, just tell them
As you walk past, just give a little
Maybe, because you should
Have these scarves
Maybe she's trying to boycott
But there's just too much beige
So I'm just wondering
Don't go to them shops then
No, because they all have the same stuff
And I top them will have the same stuff
It's all the same really
No, it cracks me up
With the clothes shop, you know
You walk in and this has got
Any of them
There's all these fucking women's clothes
All up and down, down, up and up and down
Fucking, you go to the corner
And it's always the far back corner
And it's a little section
Of men's
Yeah, all upstairs
Sexy sunny days
Different t-shirts
Three different fucking
Lots of trousers
Section of fucking jeans
Two oz of socks and boxers
I do, like men's jeans
Is simple, isn't it? It's like light blue
Dark blue, black
Skinny, straight
Boot cuts
Yeah
Yeah, it's just
It's annoying, like, we don't need
More selection of socks and boxers
We want more selections of black t-shirts
Because, you know, there's seven shades
Of black
And fifty shades of grey
Jess, yeah, no
You can't have to worry about it
Just tell them, Jess
I know what you're going for
Just get a bit of orange in your eyes
Get some pastel
Get some blues
I don't know, put a fucking football top on or something
And Riley's saying
Big Jim
Silent letters in words
Why can't it just be
Lester and she's spouty
Ali STR
So
I'll tell you, you've
Got a couple of words here
And so
Lester
Is one of those words with a
Random i in the middle of it
So it looks like Lysester
Again, Sam
Is Worcester
Or Worcestershire
People struggle with that
I mean
It's just the English language, isn't it?
There's all sorts of
It's that oldie, yeah, I mean, because it's an old city
So, yeah
It's that oldie, oldie English
But again, it's not just silent
Letters is the English
Language, you know
The different ways you pronounce things
You'll have
Sure
S-U-R-E
But then, for
B-O-R-E
Looking
Things all sound the same, but it's both different
Yeah
I always love when you get Americans
To, I don't know, UK cities
Like Worcester
Yeah
I'm guessing that's what it is
She's there or
He's there, sorry Broly
We haven't clarified what gender you are
She's maybe
There
Gender neutral, mate
You just laid
With that person
Do you want us to get cancelled?
Come at us
Well, I apologise
If they are offended
And I don't give a shit
But yeah, I'm assuming that's what it is
That Broly's had
A conversation trying to say
Lester
And just come up
Nice, there's that, please, there
What is it? Yeah, it's just fucking awkward
That's what it is
But when you grow up with it, you just used to it, aren't you?
So
I suppose on that occasion, it sucks to be American
As well as Storm Milton
No, it's a serious matter, Ash
We can't keep laughing at it
Oh, the dog's kicking up
We do have
A question
From Lauren as well
If you could switch
Lows with anyone for a day
Who would it be and why?
Hmm
Have you got one for this?
Well, my initial thought was Donald Trump
Right
Because he just lives like a king
He does whatever he wants
He says whatever he wants
But then I thought, hang on
Would I survive a further assassination attempt?
I haven't got the fucking reflexes
Of the Donald Trump have I?
So
After that
I mean, you'd probably
Well, no, you wouldn't want to go
Like Cristiano Ronaldo because
You've got to still train that day
Yeah, you're right
Just because you're in that body
You can't, well, not keep
Because that would ruin his career then
Not training that one day
Just ruining him, you'd have to retire, wouldn't it?
But it would have to be someone rich
Elon Musk
Yeah, I would say someone like
Because it's not going to matter if you
Don't do his stuff for a day
You do whatever you want just because you fucking
Elon Musk
He's off his head anyway
It's just someone who you can just wake up
And do whatever the fuck you want
And just buy what you want
Yeah
So like, if I was someone asked about a day
Could you send your original self money?
That'd be a question
Do you know what I mean?
Like, if I'm in like
You know, like that
So let's say for introduce
You went into Elon Musk's body
He went into your body for a day
You know, like that song
Yeah, Freaky Friday
Freaky Friday, that's it
So if you're Freaky Friday
So you're technically
Elon Musk
Do you send money to Jamie?
You know what I mean? A quick, you know
250 grand there, don't worry about that
I suppose you just kind of base up
Arrangement, wouldn't you? Because obviously he'd know
His own mobile number, I'm not calling
Myself, he's calling me
Like, what the fuck's going on?
And then I'll be like, mate
But if you knew it was for the day, you would definitely just
Buy a bird song
Yeah, if you knew it was for the day, then you're coming up
With a bullshit like, mate, I've
I've done some voodoo shit
Like, I've taken your body
What you're going to have to do is
Give me fucking 2 billion
And then I'll
Fucking give you your body back
Like, it's all got to be fucking
Legit, fucking, no tight backs
You know, no fucking cross fingers
And that, you've got to fucking
Send me the money, and then you'll have your body back
You just kind of flaggy
Yeah, it would be good though
To change someone that
I don't know, like
You know, like someone
I don't know actually
A local sportsman to see how they're trying
Imagine being a footballer
On a match day
Well, yeah, if you're doing it on a match day, then yeah
You want to be fucking
I mean
Well, I was going to
Be fucking nasty then, but
You could be a Blues player these days
But I'm going to be a City football player these days
And actually have a good game day
I was going to be fucking nasty in love
So you wouldn't want to be a Blues player
But, you know, they're doing well in the
Lower divisions these days
More so
You wouldn't want to be a United player
These days
No, you wouldn't want to be a Mark of the Russians
No
I don't like playing on
My left wing, that's why, mate
But if I could
Add on to it, and I could time travel
I'd go back to fucking
The night in I
I wouldn't be in the final
Because I ain't going to fucking either
Be able to score
I'd be a part of that fucking
Season just to experience it
Or if I was one of the bench players
I'd think, come on, so I'm there
Yeah, you know, it would be great
Actually, if you could swap
With an actor for that, that's on set
So say like
I don't know, Tom Cruise
Just in case you poured that
Laughter, you're like
Tom Cruise is a bad one actually
Because if he'd stunt that
Tom Cruise doesn't stunt
Who's like a proper
I don't know, like say
Benham
Tom Hardy
Nothing major about him
Just fucking
No, but you get those ones that
Go deep dive and stuff
That role, and you're still like
Like a method actor, is that what they're called?
Yeah, so Heath Ledger
Yeah, I was going to say
Someone like him, but you want to swap buddies with
Phoenix
So imagine that, yeah, you're in his
Buddy, and like it's a
Prop log, one of the major scenes
And you've nowed it
And no one's spotted the difference, it ends up in the movie
You'd fucking love that
And in the head, you're like
I just want Oscar
No one's ever going to know that, and they might push you then
To become an actor or man
Yeah, but there's no
Guarantee that you can fucking
Pull that off
No, but what I'm saying
Yeah, because obviously, but what I'm saying is
It will give you confidence to know
That you can achieve something in a new
Field, mate
Phoenix is a bit
Self-reflected on your behalf there, isn't he?
No, no, no, I'm just
Saying I didn't want to like
You need to have that push
To believe in your
Achievements
Because what I'm saying is
This is a conversation
Don't get too deep, or else I'll cry
Yeah
What I'm saying is obviously, we all would
Do the billionaire one where you can
You know, and then the football one, but I was just
Trying to just throw something
A bit different
I wouldn't want to do a single one because you can't sing
So you know you're going to have it back
Speak for yourself, though
So it's legit
But let's just say
You're in that sheet
You're in that sheer inspire there
What, because it's ginger and I'm ginger?
Well, I'm just thinking
I'm just thinking that people are constantly on a world tour
You're in Japan
You could have an easy one like fucking share or T-Pain
Where it's all auto-tune and
How many, this is what I'm saying
But how many songs do you know
Every lyric for
Do you believe in love
Love
It's the same fucking, like, ten words
You're not going to play that one
That one song
I think she does, mate
A bit of Celine Dion
Fuck you
Yeah
I mean, yeah, now that we're deep diving
This week, there's a fucking
There's a good few that you'd rattle through then, any?
I would love as well
Another one, Johnny Sins
I didn't think about stuff like that
But I want to
Yeah, that'd be a great one, especially on Sir On There
Imagine if you perform on that as well, mate
Fucking
I don't know, would you?
I'll come in two minutes, give me ten
Ten minutes, I'll fucking go again
It's not me, it's the body
It's just a bit sensitive
I'm not used to this weapon
It's not me
Nah
Nah, it's a good one, I see
Yeah
That was, Lauren
Thanks for that, Lauren
Who would you be?
Anyone else that's got
An answer for that
Then let us know
Now, we have got
Oh mate, another one, sorry
Another good one
Swapping with an astronaut for that
That'd be a good one
Yeah, but, because you know
Astronauts aren't really up there, they're just in a studio
Fucking somewhere around there
No, but that would be a good one actually, just
Yeah, you could actually
Be up there
International space station, just chillin'
Moonwalk, put flat earth on that log
Is that how fun would that
Work, you bitch? Like, woo
You don't want to do it in
The space ship?
Imagine that, oh you're doing a moonwalk
Today, like, I am, mate
Rocked out this fucking window all day
I'm not trying for that
You've been up there
For two weeks, you want to fix up
Fucking yours, mate, fucking yours
No, no, no, no, no
I'm ill
I've got food poisoning
What, I've got rations
Bad rations, mate
Well, yeah
Well, he was in there
Again the other day
This flat earth bullshit
I still don't get
Why the fucking
Why would the
Fucking earths
Round, and not fucking flat
I just
Never understand it
I don't even know why it was on my feed
The other day, people fucking going on
About it, and
Hiding everything
And all this bullshit
Why, they never had the answer why
Are we to control us? Control us what?
They're going to control us whether the fucking
Earths flat or fucking round
So how can they control us
More
Making us think that the earths round
Also, had this even become a thing
And had one person say it, and then
Everyone's like, oh, he's on something again
I don't know
It's just something a little gullible and I'm just really fucking dumb
Yeah
I'm going to
I'm going to say that about you please flat
Who's the fucking idiot, man? The ice walls rule
Fuck you
I know what
Fucking sparked me on to be fair
Because I watched Deadpool and Wolverine again the other night
And he comes out and be
Okay round earth
So, yeah
Thank you
That was a quality film, lovely
Yeah, it does just
But I'll have to
Do some research into it one of the days
Because, you know, I've seen
The TikTok clips
And all that where
They're going off with pictures from
Old explorers books and stuff
And they went for the hole in the ice wall
And there was another fucking land and this and that
I'm going to have to fucking check it out
Because there's maps and everything that have been drawn
But are they actually real maps?
Has someone actually drawn them
Or is it just someone's died on the computer
And then started spreading the bullshit
Because we can all do it now can't we
Not that I'm going to go for that effort but
Yeah, some people are just sad
Too sad
But
We've got another ghost story
Right
We're not getting a bit spooky
Are we? It's just spooky
We're getting into that season though, aren't we?
Because we chat bullshit
Why does that make it spooky?
Because no one can believe us
Just like these ghost stories
Right, now I didn't put the name on there
I apologise for not doing that
But you know who you are
I appreciate the story as well
The story goes
I'm an atheist
I've never believed in anything
Supernatural or the spirit world
But this one weird thing
Happened to me
It was the early noughties
I was 21
Grandad was in hospital
With bone marrow cancer
He didn't have long
In fact, that day we'd been told to visit and say our goodbyes
It was in October
So the evenings were getting dark
It was only about 7pm
When I got home
Rolled a joint
Rolled a fat one
Put Fast and Furious 2 in the DVD player
DVD player
You know what? A joint
From Fast and Furious 2 in the DVD
From someone that's never
Smoked a spiff
Well, you say this
I've done it three times
You're a change, man
You are fucking pothead, Ashleigh
Fucking hell
So Fast and Furious 2
In the DVD player
Open my bedroom window
And lit it
Joint nose
Well, the movie's lit though as well
Curve
Because he says curve in the movie
Movie about family and it
Curve is slang for cousin
I know a bit
We hungry
You can't eat tonight
The entire
House went dark
Like a power cut
It lights out everything
I noticed as I looked out
To the street, it's only at our house
Dad checks the fuse box
And nothing could trip those
It was only off for two minutes
And then everything comes back on
That exact moment
The phone rings, it's Nan
Grandad's dead
It was an electrician
Oh, what a car
That is a bit spooky actually
Yeah
He was an electrician at the end
Unless he meant he was an electrician
Yeah, I think so
Yeah
Auto correct, I'm guessing
Yeah
I think I told you
On the podcast when we
Told our experiences before
But yeah, similar scenario
When my grandad passed, not with me
But regarding to
Mum
My grandad was in hospital
On his
Literal deathbed
He knocked over
I don't know, he was reaching out
Or something, he's knocked over his glass of water
And when
Mum woke up
Her glass of water
Was spilled
And as she's woke up
She's seen the water spilled
That was when Nan Ranga
Saying, no, it was Milka the Ranga
Saying
Dad's dead
And then yeah, she was told afterwards
That he knocked over the water and whatever
And obviously she's put two and two together
And got four
Grandad knocked over Mum's
While he was knocking over his own
Ghost sheep
Yeah, appreciate that
Any other ghost stories in that
Any of you's have got, please
Do send them in
I would need to be fair
These spooky
Little bits coming in here and there
We're still waiting for an
Adding version
Or UFO story that would be a good one
Yeah, that's my main load
Have you been probed
Did you enjoy it
Well, in the bum most of all
Oi oi
You want to get abducted mate
Don't put the small one in
Get that big bastard
You know
Maintain the eye contact
On a scene to your soul
Or you penetrate mine
Now, since we've
Not got the other correspondence
There was a little story
That I got
Brought to my attention the other day
You've heard of the syndrome before
Where
That woman
She had a fucking knock on the head or whatever
And she woke up, she got the Chinese accent
So it's
Similar to that in a sense
It's called Suzak syndrome
Because it was a French
Lier there, I'm sure it was a French
Lier that got knocked to the head
And she woke up with like a proper
Essex accent
Like
I don't know
Yeah
But look, I suppose
You just put
It's going to be weird no matter where you imagine
This woman with the Chinese
Hello
Well that's what it was
There is the YouTube videos of her
Of being interviewed
It's just this white woman from North Southampton or something
And she's
She's not putting it on, but she's got the Chinese
Accent
So yeah, it's fucking hilarious
You should, like anyone that hasn't
Seen it as the listener
Do check it out
Just type in fucking
Chinese accent
Syndrome or something
No doubt it will come up
This one, so I was going to say, it's similar to it
It's called Suzak syndrome
There's all sorts of
Symptoms for it
Neurological and
This and that
This one particular case
That got more to my attention
So it was back in
2016 I do believe
It was a Glaswegian woman
So Glasgow, Scotland
The Highlands
Scotland, proper
Braveheart
Val Gibson, good actor
So
She
Ended up getting this Suzak
Syndrome and
Basically it deteriorated
Five years of her memories
But created
New memories
So look, stuff that's never happened
But she thinks it's
Well, this is the thing
So she lost four years
Woke up believing
That she was Australian
And she was a part of
The 2012 Olympic
Australian team
So
Not only
Because it was around that time
So not only did she
Wake up thinking she was
Australian and she was part of the team
She knew
Individual athletes
Like their background stories
Of family, this and that
She was
Speaking about what they've done
In training together and all this and that
They've all
Been out together, experienced
X, Y and Z
So full
Details of all these people
Other stuff that was going on in
Australia and whatever, as if she was
Actually living there
So it's like her mind
Is connected to someone that's
Actually living
As an Australian
As a part of the team
It's that as well
I'm looking at the moment, I can't see what the name was
So her name was Nicola Money
And so she
Did say the name of the person
She thought she was as well
But I can't see
Her mind connected to that person's
Neurological
In some kind of way
Almost like what we've just mentioned
The Freaky Friday
So she's lost the
Five years of her own
Long
When people have, obviously she's gone to the doctors
And she's all confused
And they've done interviews
With her friends and family
She's never been into sports
It's not like she was fucking into the Olympics
And all that, to know any
Of that before this condition
Came along
So everyone was freaked out
About it, she's
Distraught now because she's lived this
Long for five years in her head
But it hasn't actually happened
So essentially she's had to go
Through therapy and everything as well
But it's just mad
It's almost like it's a
Cosmic thing where it is
It's all linked somehow
But you can't see
Her mind in that
Other athlete's fucking body
And yeah, lived this for five years
That is a strange one isn't it mate
Yeah
No it's
It's not
That common of a syndrome but
It's even rarer
In cases like this to happen
So there's been several
Other ones
One of them was
There was a
Chap, he was in a
Coma
He woke up and
Recalled a story
Of him living in
I think in Florida, 1912
And he was in
The mafia
No sorry, he wasn't in the mafia
Yeah
He
Had a family
Worked in a
Can making or a can filling
Factory or something
And yeah, recalled whatever
Historical event happened at the time
As if he was living through it
So as he's coming out of the coma
He's like where's my wildcots going on
And for three weeks as he's
Tried to get back to normal life
He couldn't even figure out how to use his microwave
So obviously back then
No microwaves
Another one
The
Again
I think he was a Canadian
Lad
I think kids being kids
Weird things, I know
We didn't do it with each other
I didn't do it with anyone else
So I don't know if you don't either
There was a thing when we were kids
Essentially half
The other person to look
Starts to choke him out and then as we're about to pass out
And stuff and then
That happened to me and I found
He from him
That happened to this kid
He's at his mates house, they're all fucking around
Doing that
His mate didn't release him too quick
So he's passed out as well or he did
So in the three minutes
He passed out
He's
He was
Living in Alabama
Under a different name and everything
Playing for the MBL
Got a missus
I think had one or two kids
Then somehow
Went to
Like a house party or something and he turned out
To be his friend that just choked him out
So as he's realised, hang on I know you
We used to be friends
That's as he's woke up
So he was aged 12
And he lived until
A life into his 40s
And then his friend
Again as he's woke up
That's like a multi
Not like a multi
It's like the episode of Rick and Morty
Where it's a video game basically
You live a fucking life
And then
Morty did it
Played it for half an hour or something
He's lived 70 years
He was on his deathbed and as he died he's woke up
He's all confused for fucking hours and that afterwards
It's weird on the other mind
He's such a delicate
Just so delicate
So powerful and what he can do
Yeah, again
Another situation
Similar kind of story
Is
High school lad
Playing American football
He's
Gone off to college
Or university
Met a girl
That he loved
He's gone on
Had jobs
I don't know if he said
Did he play football
I don't know but they've lived a lot
He's had three kids
Everything is fucking perfect
And then he's sitting there
One day
He's missed his log
I'm just going to cook whatever
I'm going to cook pasta
He's like yeah
So he's sitting there
Watching the TV
And he looks into the corner
He looks at his lamp
He's like hang on that lamp's 2D
Why is it 2D
It's a fucking lamp
Why does it look like a flat piece of paper
So I don't know
Let's just say his wildest name is Michelle
Michelle, come here
What's going on
But she didn't answer
She's gone to the zoo or something
So he's fucking freaked out
And he's looking at his lamp
He's stayed there the whole rest of the day
All night and night
Not got up, not even for a piss or anything
He's fucking freaked out
He's like why is this lamp
Why is it just a flat thing
So when he's finally got up
I've got to see what's going on
I've got to touch this lamp
Gets up, touches the lamp
Wakes up
So he's playing American football
Back to being like 17, 18
He got fucking tackled
Knocked out for like 30 seconds
And he's lived fucking
30 years of a fucking happy life
In his head
So again traumatized
He actually had to go through
Therapy and everything because he was mourning
The loss of three kids and a wife
That he never actually had
He was just made up in his head
In a matter of a minute
That shows how toned relative
Yeah, I was going to say literally
Now fair enough he's not going to
Look, we don't remember everything
The stuff that's happened
But the important stuff, the feeling of it
Yeah, you know
Obviously when the baby was born
You're going to fucking remember that
Birthdays, fucking special moments and that
He remembered all those things
And he was fucking
Obliterated
So it's just, it's literally putting
A little bit of an end to it
Because anyone that could be listening
Could just have a concussion right now
And this then really
What if we're a figment of someone's
Imagination
On fucking not happy
Because you could have imagined us having better lives
We'd still be giving great content
But I want to have a bit more money
Yeah, a little bit in a hollow climate
Yeah
Not for me, but a more safer one
Less war
Hurricanes going on potentially
Yeah
Well, just
As I started looking into these stories and that
There's another one, again, just a chap
He's fucking
Again, I don't know if he was in a coma or something
But he
Said he was a white geezer
I don't know, say he's from Texas or something
And his
Alternate life
He was a fucking
Black gangbanger, so he was in a fucking gang
He wasn't in gang bangs
He might have been
But he was a black gangster
Anyway
So he's fucking lived
Years being this gangster
And then he wakes back up and he's just a fucking white man again
That'd be hard, wouldn't it?
Well, yeah
So he's fucking
Do you give him the N-word pass?
I mean, not us personally
But could he
I don't know if I can explain that
What up, my
Homie
What the fuck did you say?
He's like, no, no, no, you don't get it
I was a black man
I'm not a black man
I was a black man
I think with all of them
It's hard to get out of that mentality
If you've lived 30 years
You're a 30 year old going back to an 18 year old
It's that mentality
And then obviously being a gangbanger going back
To being, I don't know what this person was
Like beforehand, I doubt
He wasn't a gangbanger, but he was a regular guy
All the details were that
White man, I think he was a biker
But it's just literally going back to that
It's the mentality
Because technically
You've probably got the mentality you have
In your dream where you've been
Well, I don't know if you call it a dream or that reality
Where you've been a fairly old man
Playing in the NFL or gangbanger
When you wake up
Are you thinking those same emotions
You were thinking more, you were unconscious
Do you reckon he was gussied when he woke up as well
That he was like, oh shit
I'm a little cock
Probably mine
Or
Did he have his small white man willow
As the black man
Never know mate
No pros and cons
They didn't give those details in the story
But again with him, he says the details
Of the gang that he was in
So I don't know about the crypts or whatever
He didn't snitch on anyone
Because snitches get stitches
But yeah, he knew details
To do whatever gang he was affiliated with
The madness
Looking
If we are part of your
Subconscious alternate reality
Let's win the lottery or something please
That's deep though isn't it
We want a good
Fake life
Because we're not here for a long time
We're here for a good time
We like to party
If we were earning money
We'd have like 10 copyrights
Drugs on all Sunday's episode
Share behind our stock
Fucking go ahead with that you cunts
We're all Canadian
Canada, Canada
But yeah
Hopefully
Yous have enjoyed all that
Deepness at the end
The stories that is, not fucking penetration
Unless you have been doing
Imagine that, someone's banging while we're
Just aren't in the background for them
Give him some armour by action
Oh yeah
Go on
That's it, stop
Yeah she wants it, go go go
There we go
Smash them flat flat
Give it a little rub
Spit on it
Fuck two out of that team
On that horny
Bad note
We'll just leave it there
Yeah, but as always
Hope you enjoyed it, looking
Send the messages, I'll sort out the hotline
And we'll do the confessions
Next week as well
Oh shit that was confessions, apologies yeah
If you have got confessions
Send him more confessions
We've got fucking some bangers to do
Confessions that is
Nothing else, sausages
Or hostages
As KS Narmanox call them
Keep it real, peace
Where that's waiting, oh so sly
Their chemistry's electric
You can't deny