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How are we everyone? Welcome back, we're finally back
This is the real talking podcast with your hosts, Ash and JD
Now we do have to start off with apologies for having more than the two weeks off
As much as I don't want to admit, it's either these more faults
Just too much graft to do it, I couldn't...
No, so obviously I've been to Frankfurt
For a bit of graft and then the following weekend off
On a little Harley Bob
And then I just come back and there's just too much drama
People can't do their jobs while I'm away
It's just too much messing around, I'll get back
There's phone calls, there's fucking dickhead customers and stupid shiz
Just the working world can't evolve without it, mate
I don't know why
The life of a graft, right there?
But you shouldn't be this hard there, mate
I know we've greatly said a couple of things
Mate, fucking hard work
If you weren't grafted, you'd be work, are you?
Yeah, the way it's been the last couple of weeks I'd rather just work
Fuck you, it's too much
Fuck you, yeah
But the plus side, it's meant that we've got plenty of things that we can talk about
All the stuff that we've missed in the last couple of weeks
There was another assassination attempt on Trump
To be fair, I've barely seen anything about it
I didn't hear a lot about that
It was only on Tik Tok and Sosun Connie and then I deeped all the little bit on it to be apart from that
Yeah, all I saw was that he was playing golf and there was someone in the bushes or something
Trying to give a little pop-up again
And then it was the secret service that apprehended the culprit
And then, well actually, I don't think they caught him straight away
I don't know
As always, we've got all the prep, you know
We're always prepared on this podcast
There was new pictures and videos of the squeaky submarine that childhood at the Titanic
Yes
I thought that was mad
But considering how they says that it had imploded
So essentially, it should have been compressed to the size of like a coke cap
You would assume like when a car goes to one of those, you know, like to get destroyed
And it comes out that little cube kind of thing, like just really condensed
Yeah, but no, there was full panels, full shells
You know, you could see like electronics and all sorts of that
And obviously no bodies
That's if they were really on there
Exactly, yeah
Well, we spoke about this, right?
There's plenty of conspiracies out there still, you know
They might have got intercepted halfway along and then taken out of the submarine
And then it just got left down to a drone and implode
I don't know why I've inverted covers
You can see, but the listeners can't
Yeah, there was that
I think the main one that's going on more so this week is the P Diddy dramas
Yeah, I mean, again, I haven't really kept track on this book
It just seems like every week there's something about that all over the week
Well, I think we...
He's been arrested again now
No, it's the court trials that's actually started
Right
Because I think we covered it pretty well on the previous podcast when it was all out
And he officially got arrested
Yeah, so from a part from that, I haven't really heard anything until like now
When it all started to come up again
I'm sure he was taking pictures around New York, Pansner, this week
Before he got arrested again
I've not seen any pictures of him out in the bay
But I'll just know that the trials started
They've got into orderly the videos that they've got and they've got in through Dome's
What's he meant to have actually done though?
That's the thing, look, I'm really...
So the main story of what he's done is that always have these big, wild house parties
So obviously loads of men, loads of women, doors would be locked
Loads of alcohol for the men
The women would just have water because essentially they were drugged up
So they needed to stay hydrated in that sense
And yeah, it'd just be a big, essentially a gang rape on these women that were there because...
Well, they're there because they know that they're going to get fucked
So it's not really rap-easy
Well, there's different trains wanting to get fucked and getting raped, and then gang rape
So there is a little bit there, Chai
Oh no, it's just a little bit there
But it's not... you don't go to a pub to not get drunk
But most people, or at least you don't have an alcoholic beverage to not get the...
Well, you don't go to a pub just to not want to
Yeah, and so you don't go to a P. Diddy Bar to not get fucked
Right, I get what you're saying
So they knew... the new one was going to go down
Go without wondering what you described it to be, from a physical way
Yeah, the new one was going to go down, it's just I think they didn't really know what level of...
What was going down
How many drugs were going to get forced into the system that they probably didn't want to have
So that's the main thing that's been going on with you like this
Because they called it sex trafficking
Yeah, there was sex trafficking going on, allegedly
The other main one is Justin Bieber, so when he was 15, obviously Usher took him under his wing
And again, allegedly, totally allegedly, until he does get proven
So he left Justin Bieber with P. Diddy for 48 hours
Because there was a video on that that... a lot resurfaced
It was a one-year text book, or something like that
It was that, and we're going to do some Hollywood shit over the next two days, basically
And that was when Bieber was meant to have been drugged and bombed to death
Not literally, figuratively, by P. Diddy at the age of 15
Again, there was the leaked audio from Meek Mill's phone sample, Buddy Gard
Because he was outside of a room, heard Meek Mill getting bombed
And he recorded the audio
Apparently, I've not seen it
But Cat Williams dropped a video, or gave a video to whoever it is investigating
That involved the answer, eh?
Oh, okay
Yeah, so I don't know how many of these other celebrities have been railed by P. Diddy
I still think it's weird though, because I keep seeing pictures of him at the moment
And it just looks weird, it does look like it's torn with a face mask on
Because it's just like, you know, excusing the pun, it's too much of a puffy face
Because it's all like Chubb Day, the hairline's different, the eyes seem more sunken
And it just doesn't look right
Could be distressed though, mate
Nah, but it was the same when it was the first arrest photos as well
The way it just doesn't look like him
But I think if he does actually get convicted, it will be the same as, who was that fucking ex-dean with the island then
It will be a murder or a suicide in prison
The story never gets out, it's like to court
Yeah, but I mean, that would be an interesting moment, really, wouldn't it?
And R. Kelly and the same prison together, they'll all be having an R&B in alternate
I mean, Diddy in prison, he'll probably be fucking raping the rest of the inmates as well, I'm gonna
But again, easy rape, you know, they're all at the Diddy prison parties to probably know what they're gonna get into
Or who he's gonna get into
Yeah, it's, I'm not really that arsed about it, it's just how much of this kind of thing has happened over the years
Obviously there was the Russell Brand stuff that didn't come out last year or a year before
Because there was the Channel 5 documentary, I think it was
And there was other comedians on there saying, yeah, it was always a cunt, he was a dirty bastard
And nothing's happened at the start of the year, he's not a racist
Yeah, he still pleads innocent, I think it's only a handful of people that have come forward saying that he's done this and that
I don't know if it ever went to court, I think he did have a court case years ago for an alleged sexual assault
Again, I don't think he got convicted of that, but again, is it where it's happened once, well, someone's tried it against him once
And then other people are trying it, trying to get a bit of money in, you know, five minutes of fame, at least with the Diddy stuff
When it is all the celebrities coming out and saying, yeah, they see fucking wrong
It's more convincing
It would be interesting to see what goes on in that Hollywood circle
In terms of, you get what you want really done, you get in terms of whatever you want, cars, houses, you can get it
So in terms of the sexual stuff, you know, and what goes on, it would be really interesting to see what's actually has been going on
Well, I'm always a pedidilog, the leader of it
I suppose just because a lot of money is gone now
Sort of gapping something
Well, it must have been like, ah, man's too rich now, can't be getting bummed, you know what I mean, come to walking
You can't walk into a gay bar when you're like that famous without getting on any corner social, any
Yeah, I don't think it was just exclusively men, I think he just used that
Nah, I'm just saying like that was your kick-in-all, like using about Mick Mill, yeah, so, but he was obviously rapper and whatever
You know what I mean, you could have some credit in it
Well, I think, you know, we've gone over it and not previously, I think these days, but I don't really care, do they?
Nah, but it's only really for all where there's still no comma, there's openly gay in that, really
You know, real good players, they love you, they're all one can eat you, they're in fucking showers, and they're straight married people
But yeah, football
Yeah, but I do feel we're brakers because they all, it's just, as Kanye says, they're just bragging about Carl's money in the hose again
Yeah, I suppose it's because I'm thinking of fucking Lil Nas X, even though he's country, ain't I?
Hmm, well, yeah
I dunno, but did you ever see the interview, well, the podcast where Kat Williams went on, I don't know the guy's name, but he was an ex American football player
And he said about everything, essentially he's like a Hollywood Illuminati
Yeah, I know what you're referring to, I've heard him before, football players, he won the Cali C1, he was a, I know which we were on about because of seeing it on TikTok when he said it
Well, I ended up watching it, I wanna be after seeing it on the first click, but yeah, he was essentially like, he got offered that 50 million deal for whatever, how was it big?
But essentially, he would have had to do a movie, wear an address, and he's like, I ain't wearing an address
Did you refer Kevin Hart?
Yeah, Kevin Hart, fucking
Because he named his duty name, but yeah, but yeah, more, Martin
Marlin Lawrence, yeah, said about him and that, one of them that fucking passed away as well, he was on about him, slagged off the man as well who does family fortunes over there, the fucking ball and long and attach
Ah, fucking out, Steve
Yeah, what's his name, Steve?
Is it Steve Martin?
No, I don't know
What is his name?
There'll be people sitting there shouting, fucking
His family fortunes?
Yeah, look, I'm sure Steve, yeah, I know who you wanna talk about
Yeah, Lawrence said about him, the way he was throwing the fucking, Bill O'Bernie Mack, he wanted to emulate him going into the movie, but because he wasn't good enough, that's why he ended up doing what he does now
He was copying his stand up and whatever, but yeah, he slagged him up and everything, but yeah, it was the main thing, the way he was saying about all this stuff that goes on behind doors, I was never gonna be a part of it
Then it was a lot of, he's definitely away with the parents, it was a lot of talking about his childhood, how he read like, I don't know, 100 bucks a week or something, stupid like that
Saying that, times were different back then, it was nothing good on the TV, was that?
Yeah
So I suppose he probably did
Isn't he mad, like when you see someone like that, you don't think they have that kind of mindset, because you just kind of go off the couch, they're betraying over in the movies or in the stand up
It's a bit when Terence Harrod done the Josh Rogan podcast, another one that used to be in Iron Man 1 and 2, then he wasn't
Oh, yeah, yeah, he was fucking
And he was fucking like, fucking
I don't know anything about his spice in the cosmos, like what the fuck did that come from and how she works, like, fucking out
Because there was another one, I think he went on Joe Rogan, I saw clips from several podcasts he did, but he was like a Disney kid star, and he's fucking just tapped now as well
So what happened, well, I suppose you do kind of know a bit of what happened to a lot of them kids with that
The Nickelodeon one
Was it behind set or
The Dark Sword of the Settles, one of those ones, Neil
Quite on set
Quite on set, that's the one
Yeah, we got there in the end
All the prep, all right, prepared
Just got a bit of a plus
Yeah, so yeah, stuff like that, just fucking, I don't know, I mean we was just talking about it before pressing record
Is the money really worthy, the money is fine
I mean, not so much the fine, but the money
Yeah, yeah
Like you and I would wear a dress if someone was like, I'm not being funny, if someone said to me wear a dress and I give you 20 grand, you would wear a dress, I mean
Oh yeah
Right, so let's get into a bit of nitty-gritty here, so someone, I'm not gonna say one of these Prince treatments where the one is shit on your chest like Katie Frost
Oh, like the Dubai thing
Yeah, I'm not gonna say one of these ones, but you know, a bit more respectful
Some minted up geezer says, name your price, you just suck my cock, what you're saying
I want probably the boss, why don't you rather have someone shit on me than that
Would you rather be like someone shit on you or suck a cock?
I think I'd probably suck the cock
I mean, because I can't say my height
No, because it's gonna get done quickly and I ain't gonna have
I reckon you've got the skillset, mate
It's not a hand job, you know how to do better than fucking most women
So again, I know I've never asked you this, we'll get back to that question in a moment, but someone breaks into your house fucking gunpoint
I'll say ready to kill fucking you to miss an ababian that says, you's got one minute to fucking make me come
Are you doing it or are you gonna let the missies do it?
It doesn't have to be a blow job, it can just be a hand job
I won't say the missies
But do you not think that you could get it done quicker?
No, she knows what she's doing mate
So you're probably the only man saying that
No, I'll get what you're saying, because normally as a man, you can just
You know what motion you want
Yeah, all you gotta do in that situation is just get behind it, read your own and just fucking bang it out
I'll get your reference on that one mate
I'll get what you're saying with that
So, yeah, we're going for the blow job
So I don't know, mate
So let's start throwing out some numbers, 20 grand
No, I couldn't, no, it's not gonna change my life, where this might fucking ruin my life
Right, so
It would have to, I'm gonna just, it would have to be like 100, so like, I'm just saying, I mean
So, let's just say 150 bags and that's your mortgage paid off and that
You doing it for that
Does he finish you in my mouth?
Because that's the big way, it's just like, I don't know, mate
Would you not rather that though, because then if it's over your face, you gotta clean your face
And that's why I'd not want to have to shake, because you've gotta clean the shit
Can I ask you a question? Would that make you gay?
No, because unless you want to keep doing it, that's when it gets gay
Or if you get hard
If you get hard way to do it
See the thing is, it's hard if there was 150 grand in front of you, it'd be hard
But I'd like to say no on that one, I'd think I would rather have someone show me 150 grand
Because literally, I'd put just in the shower, doing the shower, get off me
But it's never in the shower though, is it?
No, but what I'm saying is
And again, Lord, you've got shit on your chest, you're gonna have to stamp it down the drain and up then when you go into the shower
You won't even piss in the shower, so if you're trying to clean your shit off, you're trying to flush it down with your clothes
What I'm saying is, I would rather piss in the shower of 150 grand now
I think I'll take this shit, mate, if I want to, I can't put it in my mouth
Maybe I'm too much of a man
200 grand
This is the number I'm thinking like
So the mortgage paid off and you've got a bit of a change
I think 250 would probably be the one I'm like
So quarter of a mil
Yeah, I think that's just like, I wouldn't even think about it, just fucking get it in my mouth
So, let's up the game then
Half a mil, he gets the bomb you for five minutes first
Oh
No, no, no, I'd rather just no
I couldn't, I just couldn't
No, cos I've had to look, you know, like when you come to the party and you have to throw the thing up there
Yeah, yeah
I couldn't even put that up there myself, I had to give my partners to it
I can't have nothing go up there, mate
Well, how about you borrow a couple of drinks first?
No, no, it's a sound, mate, it's a little bit more guy
He's boring and dying in me before he fucks me, man
But if you want food first as well, otherwise just a couple of drinks
I'd rather just get over in Dunwoody, mate
No, I couldn't, I just, there's no, nah, that's enough for me on that one
What if it was only a small dick, though, three inches?
Yeah, yeah, I mean, that probably would have happened there actually
Because we don't have to assume that these millionaires got a fucking chlop
I don't know, mate, I don't know where this conversation is going actually, it's been, you know, it's been
Homosexual, I mean, I just, what I'm saying, average size would be 400 grand
No, no, I couldn't, I just couldn't, I couldn't get one, mate
I couldn't, what about you?
So you'd rather suck a dick than get shit off
Yeah
So how much would it cost you to suck a dick?
Probably, probably do for the 100 grand
How much would it cost someone to shit on you?
Nah, because that's getting close to a million then
I don't know, for me, I don't know, a million, just shit, man
Horsing in chests, wait, well I've done like, off, shower, don't, never think about it again
But I would take the 400 to let him blow my back doors out
I'm just kidding
Obviously this is all holo-professional anyway, you know, we've not got any proposals for anything like this
Nah, I just couldn't, I couldn't have that happen to me
Mine would be 150 grand to get shit off, 250 to suck a dick and I don't know, I might get him blown back, that's fucking
I don't know if I could, I'm being honest, I don't know if I could
Well, you know, don't knock into your trolley, that's what the saying is
But if any of you guys have got suggestions, you know, some processes for what might tempt us
Then send them in, realtalkandpod at gmail.com
Now the hotline, this is gonna be a test now, because it has been about a month since I've ruled it out
07, 470, 4AA, 096, I think that's right, but just double check in the link description, it'll be in there
X, Twitter, that's Ash and JD
Well, yeah, links are all in the description, we're so out of practice, three weeks has just been too long
No, I'm sorry, I was just thinking, what if you got bummed and looked at it, like, what would you enjoy pecking at?
Smoked so, yeah
I can't have nothing, I'm just thinking
Just because we enjoyed getting the bumming, doesn't mean I wouldn't still wanna have some pussy, I suppose I'd just be bothered, any
Or one of the other things on the spectrum, I mean, scale
Yeah
I just can't pitch me on all fours, mate, I just can't
I just can't have all fours, I could be on your back, legs in the air
No, I could not, that's even worse, mate
Oh, no, that's even worse, cause you're saying the first thing
Oh, you can wear a blower pole, lights on though, so he can see you
I couldn't do it, mate
What if it was a trance?
Yeah
No, I can't, look, awkward, I'm not mad that way
There's a few of our mates that just didn't put for a on-the-lap or a back
Yeah
Steve, but not our mates, but that was that fucking army video
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Jeff
No, Jeff, not Jeff, he calls him Jeffere, Jeff's bro is low
Oh, he's for the most few girls, Jeff
I don't know, I've seen him on the web, he calls him Steve
Maybe cause he's different, I remember calling him Jeff or Jeffere
Oh, I don't know, there's too many fucking videos
So, I know I've said it before, we've fucking, cause I don't have notifications on
ModPerson or WhatsApp for any videos and pictures that get sent in the group
It's still automatically up loads of phone
So, yesterday when I got back, cause I've got one of those Alexa
It's a glorified clock, but it's a little screen one in the bedroom
For some reason, well, no, not for some reason
When I changed internet provider, I never set it back up again
Right
So, it was just a time, I finally logged back in on it yesterday
And it wanted to do the Amazon photos
I was like, yeah, I suppose that'll be all right, let me just ping some photos around
But as I've started to click it, I thought, hang on, I need to go through this, I'll rear
So, I didn't realise, even though I've got the app on my phone
It had already automatically started to upload pictures and everything on there
So, I had to sit through it, it took me half an hour
Again, cause I've got a lot of pictures of jobs and stuff
So, I clicked about 6,000 times
Probably about 4,000 of them were job pictures
And the rest of them were stupid pictures
Tits, dicks, sheets in toilets
War fucking crime videos and pictures and stuff
Yeah, it's a normal group chat
There was a lot of stuff, that was probably about 2,000
I thought, I'm so glad that I thought about these
Otherwise, it would have been fucking Sunday morning while the Mrs is still in bed
And I'm fucking out walking the dog and she's just seeing his photo reel going round
Next thing, there's a picture of fucking Postman Keeper with his dick out
Or one of fucking sheets in a fucking toilet
That it's not even a shit, it's just a fucking explosion
That's probably like all the ads, WhatsApp groups, shit, pics, tits
Just videos, there's some videos that haunt me
In terms of you know when you see people getting killed in the surly and why
Yeah, and I always remember the one
I remember thinking about it, you remember the chopper in someone's head off and you see
That one, oh fuck, that was some mad stuff in there
Well, yeah, because that was one of the pictures
For anyone that is a little bit squeamish, just like music for 30 seconds maybe
But essentially it was a decapitated woman
There was one man banging normally, near one was in the opened neck wound
There's some fucked up paper
Yeah, it's fucking mental
Welcome back for anyone that did music for a fucking brief moment
Well we know that they just listened to that
Yeah, the OJs were lobby
Well yeah, it's just been a mad couple of weeks
Again, I think there's two interesting space related ones that I wanted to touch base on
Right, I know one of them, I think I know one of them
So the one of them, James Webb telescope
Where it seems like there's an object moving, the corollary moving along towards
I don't know if it's towards Earth or moving across the universe
So apparently it was detected a couple of years ago
And yeah, it self corrected its course several times
The thing is that I don't get about it, it says that it's moving above the speed of lots
Well, it's like three long years away, it won't be if it continues its course towards Earth
It won't be if it's like 10 years or something
But if it's moving at low speed and it's not three, four long years away
Should it be here quicker?
Well I mean space is a weird thing that Rev, you know that interstellar, all that stuff
Everything works, you don't know, do you know what I mean?
But yeah, if it's only three or four long years away and it's traveling quicker than low speed
Surely it'd be quicker than three or four years
Well, I don't know the physics behind it
Basically what they said the math didn't matter from what I read
Because it's like the size of a city and I don't know if they've said this object is quite big isn't it?
Yeah, I don't know what city but they've said it's a city
Large city, I mean, probably London's always or something
Because I know that it picks up on the telescope to use before the one you just mentioned
The old one before, put this one up
Was that forager?
No, it was a, one one picks up this time
James Webb
Right, you had the one before, I can't remember the name of the one
I remember them picking up as well
And obviously the chance to better camera one, that's when you got all those pictures of the universe
Remember when I came out about four years ago
Yeah, so it'd be interesting, I mean
You know, we like aliens and they're showing anything but a bit of mystery
We love all of it, all the aliens, extraterrestrial and
Ghosts?
Yeah, we unexplain it
You know what, we really need to do the ghost one
Because I feel like that's really like, just easy to do, just book somewhere
And just do a go with these little white things, maybe a little camera
Yeah
And just fucking
Just go for it
Well, it's getting to that point
Yeah, the ghost sees it, it's getting cold, it's dark and flunger
Yeah, I mean it's probably too late to organise something like that now
Well, now we could get sunk in this quite easily I think
It just means we probably have to travel, we'll generally have problems but
We'll have to have a brain spot
We'd have to pay for the lot, because most of them, I went to
The one in Wales
No, the most haunted house in the UK
The one in Wales
No, it's
I know we've spoke about it before, I've just been in my head in two miles
I've been in my head in two miles
You can just enjoy it or something like that
I don't know, I know the house because I've seen a few specials about it
Yeah, so there's only six people on that
But obviously it's more expensive
So we'd have to obviously pay for the 60 kids
Or just have us fuck just do our own thing there
Or to another location
Because I want to see, I fucking want to see something, I'm sick of seeing these little ghosts
You know what, I don't even bother watching those ghosts adventures no more
I fucking want to be up to do the one with Zach Braff and he's like
Zach Braff?
He's named Zach Braff, isn't he?
Yeah, fucking from Scrooge
Mate, he's named Zach, I'm sure it's mate
Zach Braff, he's fucking J.A. Day in Scrooge
Right, once he's nine, then I'm going to, it's definitely Zach something
Yeah, so anyway, Lord, have you watched any of the ghosts adventures thing?
Yeah, it's normally when I'm away and you watch Quest and Dave and that and it
Yeah, so like on this one though, he doesn't even go to Zach Baggins
Baggins, I knew he was Bay something
I knew he was on about it but when you said Braff, I didn't know he was fucking Hoag City though
Scrups was good though, that's what I wanted
Apparently, it's in the works for a little special
That'd be nice I suppose
It was some red carpet event or something that J.A.D. was at
and the question got asked and he was like, yeah, there's been a script for a long time
it's just trying to get everyone together at the same time essentially
and then it was from that apparently it was going to happen
but I don't think we're going to get it before the Gavin and Stacey
No, I've never watched one, not feeling it
Never really got into it
I didn't feel like that before I'd watched it and then I watched it and I was like, yeah, this is fucking good
Sorry, just go back to the ghost thing, we should probably try to do one
like winter time, like this year, early next year if such
Whatever, brainstorm after the pod
Because I really want to go UFO hunting as well, BC, shrine stuff in the score
That's in Miles, any of the parts in Miles
Yeah, that's what I was thinking of then, we'll get confused with
logistically it's more awkward for you
Yeah, I'd have to get in advance just because I've seen the band
Yeah, yeah
Nah, you don't know what I mean
To be fair, we won't be able to
It's the dogs that have any alphys bookie ready to take more dogs off in there
No, we'll just do like somewhere local, anywhere
Can you drive back on the night?
Bad morning
Well, yeah
During the prime ghost hours of the night
Well, the most companies, I'm sure the Starla 8 and the Closed Log 2
are these locations
We'll have a little brainstorm, we'll see what we can get
Or if anyone, Matt, it's more like that to our mere story
I know I've mentioned you on the pod where he just walked to his mate's house
in the kitchen, the cupboard doors started opening
and the plates started flying out
No, you haven't said this one
So, strapping
My dad was younger, he went to one of his mates' house
I once said, I was about to say where he was
And then he walked in, his mate used to always
probably his mate used to always say his house was haunted
and obviously never believed him
And he said, even his mate walked into the kitchen
all of a sudden, all the cupboard doors started opening closing
Like you see on the movies, he said then all the plates and all some folks
were just fucking getting thrown at them
like he said multiple, so he wasn't like one cupboard drawer
At the time, everything was just like flying up
Yeah, a lot of people were just like, yeah
That's what we need, that's what we want to come and see
to be fair, right?
One of Kyla's friends
has gone on a lot of mini ghost tours of America
and doing like really haunted locations there
Yeah, I don't think we can afford that one
No, no, mate, I thought it would be worth it
Mate, a big 7-eleven
Sour Patch, Sour Patch Kid, Slurp, or Big Slurp
I forgot the name of them, but fuck me
The best thing ever
You couldn't have them in there, Kyla, there's too much sugar and shit in there
All the E numbers
Oh mate, he put your rights to the toilet soon
but I brought like a cherry one or something
Kyla brought like a Sour Patch Kid one
She's like, you want that?
Oh fuck, that's not it
Three months away, I went back
It's like fucking me, mate
See this, literally, if anyone had a liter bottle of water or something like that
it was that size, like
No, it was like a liter worth of...
The fucking ridiculous size
It was like two dollars, something
Fuck, at the time I was one pound four, or 80 or something, but the exchange
I would love to fly to America just to get one floor back
Well, when I win that Euro 7, I'll pay it back, mate
I'll get you your own 7-eleven, then you fucking love
What, the 11-sever?
Well, you can't call it 9-eleven
Walk it out, kid
So, back to the other space-related item
Right, that's it, yeah
So, I feel like it's already started
But we've got a second moon, or we're about to have a second moon
Right, so if we have a second moon, what would happen?
Is that controls all the water?
No one said what would happen on that kind of thing, where we would affect the tides or anything
But, so, because there's an asteroid belt near us
So it's like, I think it's either before
Between awesome Venus or between awesome Mars
Alright
And essentially, I think it's further out, actually
But anyway, there's an asteroid belt that separates some of the planets
And it's a big asteroid from that, that's somehow broken
And of course
Yeah, and so the way it comes to us, it will be in orbit with a sumo for two weeks
And then it will go back up somewhere else
Oh, okay
I don't know what it's going to do, because I should have done more research
But from what I've seen, they're not saying that it's going to affect the tide or anything
We'll just see a second moon in the sky
Right, so it could probably just be on the gravitational pull just on the outside
So it just follows you around and gets a sling shot around
For two weeks, that's fucking, you know, that's doing some, like a few bucking circles around really
Or maybe it's going around really slow
Hmm
It's interesting, Spice is weird, finger name?
Yeah
Well, again, because if it's further out than the moon
And surely it's going to be smaller than the moon, because it's an asteroid
So we shouldn't be able to see it then, should we?
Or not log as big as what we see in the moon
No, but then it depends, but the sun, I mean
I get what you're saying
You'd be interested, when's it supposed to happen, are they small?
I'm sure it's like now, or
I feel like it was the last, even now, or the last week of September, for two weeks
Right
So pretty much now, any
Yeah
Yeah, but I don't know, I want to keep looking up at that sky, see if I can see it
One thing moon-related I have actually seen
I've seen it a couple of years ago, but
More videos popping up of the base behind the moon
See, I was seeing this and I didn't understand where it all come from, what is it like?
So I think it's more flatter for us where obviously, you know, we've got the firmments
And then it's like either guard or fucking aliens
So like the Jim Carrey movies where they lived in this, you know
The Truman Show
The Truman Show, pretty much
Yeah, of course, I thought the whole planet
Because they're out there like
Yeah, it was just a big dough, well I didn't know it was the picture
And where the sun and the moon was, that's where all of it was, you know
Yeah, the whole TV show there
Yeah, the whole bit of it
But yeah, you could see with one of the videos it was basically just the way the clouds were and the way the moon can make images out of just random fucking shapes and that
But then there was one in Scotland, several in America and not Canada and stuff
And I don't know if it's just because one comes down to where it looks like a face in the clouds
They were just jumping from the high
Yeah, they're just fucking photoshopping a fucking face
I mean, again, I'm sure you'd be able to do with like mirrors and glass or something
You can see your own face and then the camera zooming up to the moon and you can see your own or something
I don't know, it's probably used to do with the old school pornoes, any
You know, a couple of them even bigger because of the camera angle and stuff
You know, it's only what I've been told, I never used to watch old pornoes
To be fair, I have watched some of the vintage ones and it's just
They don't feel the same, do they? No, it seems, yeah
No, because it doesn't seem forced, there's more of a story to it
Yeah, well, yeah, I mean the story's questionable, but I know he's like
Yeah, and uh, oh, there's a big bush
You a bush man?
I don't mind
George W. Bush
I don't mind either
No
I'm not picking, mate
Nah, just don't mind it, in your arse
Literally, that's all I know about, mate
I reckon you're a secret cook from Pegalovarilla
I think it really is your cup of tea
Well, moving on from the space extraterrestrial and all that kind of weird things
I keep seeing on the M42
So you know when you've got the bridges, the flyovers, and you can sometimes see the people walking across all the cars
Driving above it if it's a junction and that
I'd say probably about ten times now, over the last six weeks
I've seen these geese standing there, hanging his sign over saying Jesus is with us
But if he is, why are you telling us we've been fucking sign over the top of the mower?
We don't need to know that
We're getting more views, more eyes on his message
But people don't need to see that
But there's no hate then, no one's gonna stop and give him hate
I mean, to be fair, I have pipped at him
I haven't stopped the finger of what we did on the way to Liverpool
For those kids standing there
Oh yeah
But in this day and age, you don't expect to see that as often
More so with what's gone on over recent months, not 12 months or whatever
Where British values and Christian Catholic religions can't be pushed out there
You can't put that kind of thought process and religious beliefs out there because it's not a part of the go-to thing at the moment
We've all seen the riots over the last couple of months and that as well
Obviously with wars that are going on
That's the right thing that you can push and say about this religion, that religion
But Jesus isn't that religion to be hiked up these days, I don't think
I mean Catholics, those nonce priests and that
You don't really want to be pushing them ones either do you?
I'm sure they'd love it, a diddy party wouldn't they?
I feel the wood bay, yeah
Well, probably not with the adults, if it was the young boys there
The youngers
From Justin Bieber, that would have been straight for him
But yeah, I'll just keep seeing him, it's like 6 o'clock in the morning
People don't care, just take his son somewhere else
I imagine he's home though so I don't know, I've not stopped and asked him
Maybe one of the days I will
You're missing when he's up there though mate
I don't think I will
Well, you know, going from a guy that wants to get bummed
Well, him or you?
You?
I don't even get him, I just...
I don't want to, I'll just take the money for it
I can't look you mate
Would you want to be on all fours or legs in the air?
Yeah, I suppose just on all fours so I don't have to look at him any
Yeah, mate?
Yeah, load the loop, can't go up in draw
Would have to wear a condom as well, no bareback
No
Could you don't know if they've got anything then do ya?
I don't want AIDS or monkeypox or anything
So yeah, all fours from beyond
Just, yeah, take that money any
I've got to earn it some way, not earn it on his podcast though
If anyone does want to give donations though, reach out to us
I can send you some PayPal links or something
It is getting on a bit, we will give some of the correspondence
We haven't got enough time
Yeah, I can imagine we've got a fair bit though
To be honest, there was a couple, thanks for all the messages and that anyway
During the hiatus, the little break
There was a couple not outfitted with me last week
So that was two WhatsApps and I did apologise, I've replied on the fucking Monday
He says, sorry, my fault, you're near on the podcast next week
To be fair, nearly didn't happen today, we were fucking all the traffic
I was in getting over it, I was close to just saying, pop these, I ain't going to
And then with the laptop fucking having a mare when we burst
But we love you, so we have to make a video
Do you want to know more messages, did you mate?
No, but we'll start off with James
To be fair, I've not checked the emails for a quarter of a day
So I expect that he has emailed this week again
Probably giving me shit that we've been popular last week
Started off, obviously because Liverpool beat United
So he's like, yeah, have some of that, look here on the break, hide from the pain
And then obviously he was expecting me to give him some shit back then
Because nothing can follow his beat, Liverpool
So he's just like, that guy was just a slick, weren't ruining our sales and all yours
We're not off the ball in the podcast, so we don't need to keep talking about it, do we?
No, I am, love to be fair, I knew our shit, there's not really left much you can say about how a ball has been
It's been on people, but we're not on a footballing podcast
No, it's been going off too long and it is annoying
You say a couple of good games, it was a good performance against Crystal Palace as well
It was just Dean Henderson, Dean Henderson?
Yeah, the goal, yeah
I was getting a mix up with Jordan Henderson there
But yeah, Dean Henderson, actually not a goalkeeper, he had a point to prove
He had a world he didn't know, his distribution was terrible though
Every time he was trying to clear the ball, out for a throw, he was just fucking shocking
So every team as he was one of them dies, but the ball just didn't go in the back of the net
Excuse me
But yeah, you see a starter play and then it goes on to FC20, McGuire is back in defense
And it's just back to fucking Olly Ball where he's just lumping the ball
He's trying to go for that world, he passed to Rashford on the wings
So I'm hoping it's a better weekend against Topman but we'll see
But yeah, we're not on a footballing podcast
We'll go on to Lauren, this is Quart Topical and she said Nice and it's gone even worse
So I haven't got the fucking tune ready and it's gonna take too long to fucking sort it
Why are you singing mate?
Hey, what's wrong with you?
So she says what's up with the weather lately?
It's been hot and cold, mad rain or droughts, I can't transition to hot girl autumn with this
Right, she's definitely at the right podcast when it comes to weather, because we are a weather podcast
We've got a lot of fucking chat about rain
We were just literally 24 hours ago, we've flooded now luckily
Even this morning?
Oh mate, it was a fucking thunderstorm and then the flood
But that little puddle there, you could never tell, fuck you now, but yeah, no
That was sent before these last couple of days
I know what she's on about because you go really hot when the sun was coming out, then really cold and whatever
But yeah, I didn't know hot girl autumn was a thing, I don't know hot girl summer was
Maybe she's trying to make it a thing
Well yeah, I mean, I don't know
I mean, can it be hot girl autumn because you're putting more clothes on
Maybe hot in temperature wise because you're getting cosy
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Maybe that's what she means
Well what was it, it's just jumpers
What does hot girl summer mean? What does it mean? Are you hot or?
I think they mean it as they're trying to be sexually attractive
Oh so they're trying to be hot?
Yeah, okay, 10 hot girls
Okay, so she's trying to be hot for autumn, sorry
Well as I say, with more clothes going on, it's harder to do that
Yeah
I mean, I do get to see some 8 bits and you think, fuck, you know, have some of that
But I don't know, fucking man flats
I don't know how you do with more wintry top clothes though
Because you don't look in a fucking scarf and think, fuck, I'd love to get that off
Talking about hot girl fucking autumn, are you going for this thing that I'm going through?
So you know normally it's cold, shorter run
Not someone's a t-shirt, but the shorts are always getting flexed
I mean, I've got me work shorts on, right?
I'm trying to like, to the point where I'm like, I don't even trust her on that
And it's not even that cold, but I'm at the point where I think I'm going to have to invest in some tracksuit balans or something
I'll show you where to get them from, but these as the work joggers
Right, now I'm going to about in life, like going for the dog walk and stuff like that
Fair enough
Now I'm still happy flexing the shorts for another month or so maybe
Pretty much when it's below five, that's when I'll be working the joggers on
But more so the last couple of days because of the rain
I've been putting the jogger buttons on in the morning, taking the dog out and then getting changed into the work shorts
Just so I'm not wearing wet work clothes going out there
With me, we've worked in life anything I'm doing, shorts is on
The past two weeks, oh, what cold and what fucking hell
And I've got a good look, a jacket on, shorts and whatnot
Yes, so maybe I need the hot body, I don't know what I'm trying to say
I just need a warm, I need to get warm, mate
Yeah, but just put a jumper on, still keep the shorts on
Yeah, so like always look, so long sleeve on the top, the shorts are always going to inflex me
And your shins are starting to get a bit cold
I'm not that high, Jolly, it's fine
I was just about to say, I didn't know how that is, I actually did put the fur on the other day
But I was cold because of the rain and then what's not helped, the cellar that I've been working in
Because it's got all the tanks for the central heating system that on the 480, it's horrendous down there
So because I'm working in that and then I'm going to what is a normal temperature
I'm working 14 degrees, whatever it's been, then in my mind on the afternoon
It's not because of the sun direction and that, it's cold then
So my house isn't insulated well at all
So it's either fucking stupidly hot or it is always cold
And I've got back, I've had me shower and that and I was off to the chiller so I'll pop that fur on
And we've been like 20 minutes, I was fucking sweating
Yeah, we should do it
I couldn't be asking at all, I'd left it on for like an hour and the sun had completely set
Now because I've got that fucking gap on the branch doors that lead to the garden
I could feel the draft coming in, I was all, it was good calling leaving it on then
Because I could feel the wind blowing to me while I'm sitting on the sofa, it was just an old balance thing
So yeah, it is a, I used to be able to fucking sit there in shorts and t-shirt
And it'd be absolutely fucking freezing outside, the mrs would be there with fucking six blankets and dressing gown
Everything and I'm like, that's sweet
But yeah, I've noticed
It's definitely hot in here, don't it?
Yeah, I've noticed last year I was like, yeah, I'll still keep the shorts on in the house
But I'll just put this, keep this jumper on
And then as it did get to the actual winds out, I'd sit there with my own little fleece on
Sometimes not all the time, or have the fire on
So again, I don't like the central heating being on, not because it's the man thing
Or put the heater on, fucking, where are all sitting in the living room, the radiator is right next to him
So the mrs wants the heating on, but I'm sitting next to the radiator, I'm not gonna swap
No, look at my five
So yeah, that's why I don't like the heater, I'd rather just sit there
Plus I prefer it being cold in the house, because you can get cosy, put the blankets around
Yeah, I was gonna say that
It's easy to get in that sense
When the heating's on and the house is hot, and you're too hot then, it's harder to cool down
You don't want to open windows then, cause you can just waste your money with the energy bill
And we don't want to do that, with the bad approaches are these days
But in regards to hot girl, auto, you know, what we're saying about that, to somewhere or is it may
We feel your pain, especially with the rain the last couple of days, it has been fucking balero
So, I don't know, wear thin jackets maybe, so you get in the autumn look, but you're not getting too warm
When it is warm
Like a strong gym wear, is that what you're saying
Because gym wear is not autumn colours though, is it?
There is some, you can get some greens, some burgundy in there
What about the leaf brown and not too much
Not so much the brown
I'm not a fashionista, I've barely got any clothes to go out in because I just wear it all the time
Right, this one cracked me up the other week, from Jess, again she says
What's wrong with you?
Good Q in there mate
Women still wear in juicy tracksuits, truly loyal
Because these come when we were kids, these were in one night when we were youth
Yeah, back into day
I tell you what I did see, sorry to go off toppy, there's a cyber tamagotchi shop
You've seen that, that aren't just tamagotchi
I'm guessing London
I think so, I'm planning on making a comeback as well, like this juicy tracksuit did
When we were youth, these were big, like Paul's booty, can you remember all that baller?
Yeah, Claire's accessories and she
And then that drops, and then I've seen that coming back in a little bit
But I reckon for the winter, for also
So Lauren get listening, maybe it's in
I don't know, I'll just never load them
I like how people listen to our podcast, not these two
They get it
Yeah, they understand
So now I just know in Paul's booty, can you just mention Claire's accessories
So we do get it
Yeah
We are, we are
Are they even so open, no it's nice
Claire's accessories is
I don't know
I think I've only ever been in there when I was 15, 16
Oh, I don't know, I'm like, f**king out
Yeah, I've just, I've never logged them, because they were that horrible
Conor Locker valve, what sort of looking material
Yeah, and they had juicy on the arse to me
Yeah, always, collicary as well
Why did you have to be f**king bagged gems, saying juicy
Because that's where the one you'd look at, isn't it, juicy
But it was always skinny ugly bitches wearing it, like, you know
It's saying juicy on the arse, because you would expect a juicy bat on
A juicy bonda, no, it was f**king skinny ugly bitches
Or then when it was the ones with the big arses, because they were a fat bitch
Right
And not the good fat
Okay
F-A-T
Not P-H-A-T
Nah
F**king Monter
So nah, it's just not right
I don't get it
I have to be fair, I think I've never
Look, there's not as many people wearing them lock when we was youths
But I think I have always seen these women still walking around
That I'm sure my sister still f**king wears them to be fair
Yeah, I mean, she, yeah, I wouldn't be surprised, mate
Yeah, just that classic Conor style for her, really, any
But now it's never
I'm getting the shivers, you know when that one thing
Yeah
Well, some people have more things that touch it
Nails on a draw ball, kind of thing
My dry sponge
But if I've got a f**king touch the sponge to wash the dishes
I try and flick it under the tap first, because that dry feeling is f**king horrible
And I've got that same feeling with the juicy tracksuit
Right
It's just, because it's like those, you can get the pillows when you wipe it one way
And then you wipe it the other way and you can see your hand movement and all that
It's just not nice, you know, it's not f**king all boots and crocs
Like why are people f**king wearing them?
No, I never get the crocs, because if you're wearing them, I've seen someone running
Like, literally, I mean, he was working out
He was running, but he was working out
And it was like he was jogging to meet someone, it was literally
Eight for a jog
And four jogs, crocs
I can't believe there's still such a thing and they're still going strong
But you can body accessories for them and that
Jubilee's whatever, for someone
But again, they're not even cheap, are they?
No, I brought baby Kobe a pair
And it was 15 quid for her, so I was already there on sale though
Jesus Christ
Because for a baby, it's just convenient when they go to the child market just to come on
And they're easy to come on and off
But it's no lice, it's not like that
Yeah
Yeah, but, but, but...
Valkyries go on and off
Blinky dudes, f**k you know
I've never worn a pair, everyone keeps saying they're really comfortable
I don't care if they're comfortable
I'm not having it, I was having this discussion while I was in Frankfurt
We were f**king some of the lads and I thought, no, I'm never going to have them
Look, because the one was like, yeah, I'll wear them playing golf
What the f**king playing golf, f**k that
But what if one of them balls hits your toes?
Yeah, golf is built of weird ones, but especially...
I think it wasn't what he was actually playing though, to be fair
Well, he's at the range as you think
Yeah, well, he's going to golf, he's f**king got his crocs on
Then he'll put these f**king actual golf shoes on
But no, it's just...
Yeah, I'd probably rather get them though
Well, on that f**king negativity from Ashley
We're going to leave it at that
There is more WhatsApps than that, but it's getting late
It's a broad afternoon, I'm going for a beer
Ashley's going for a pegging
We've got stuff to do
Yeah, I think maybe on the next podcast we'll just go through
Yeah, we'll try and rattle them out straight away
And in your order, would you like to be pegged?
No, sorry, why pegged, sorry
S**t, suck a dick or get bummed
Only a few miles, obviously, if it's three miles, obviously
You've probably done two out of three
What, you reckon it will be sharp?
I mean, I suppose with the females, you could put it the other way
Would you want to f**king get scissored or sh**?
Yeah, but being like a lesbian is kind of like a call
But I don't know, I've never got it
Depends on what lesbian you want to be, don't you?
No, but you can get what I'm saying and everything about saying
You get what I'm saying, like being gay and...
Gay and... Yeah, so...
She went and looked up basically what I'm saying
American boy too, yeah
Is this when they're doing the construction on the house?
Yeah, you know what I mean?
And the women's bar, everyone wanted to see that
Then when it was like used to do that
Yeah, so from a heterosexual male point of view
It's better to say lesbians than to say gays
Such is air soon, you're like it
That's what I'm saying
They were great films back in the day, weren't they?
They don't stop making normal, do they?
I think the Cartman, I could imagine
He's two-piece, he's f**king...
Even the logs of f**king stepbrothers and all that
Because some of the World Barrel ones
Get hard, f**king Kevin Hart
The way he's putting on the black accent and that
I mean, the best one of all
The O.J.
Robert Downey Jr
Tropic Bundab
You definitely couldn't do that
Not just him blacking out
But f**king playing the disabled lads
F**king
Yeah
Benz has played the retail
Benz has played that too, yeah
Yeah, you know, just all the stuff that happened in that film
Jack's something burning, the...
Simple Jack or something burning
You can't... well, you can do stuff like that
It's just the backlash
I think it's only so far that I've just continued
Not given a f**k for eight or the years really
Fair play to him, I haven't watched that for years now
I think they've paused a little bit in terms of...
No, I won't go into that in Casimangra
I saw that, I don't know if it was true
And I saw it on Bobblin
I was like, fake news
Well, I felt like there was a new season last year
Because there was a game last year or the year before, mate
The game, the game
I've said this before
The game to...
Roy
Tell us about the game, we're all f**king...
I've not played the game
So the game I had
If he was white, he was really easy
The dark-y skin got his character
It was hard, so if he was like black
If the game would be really hard
If he was like...
I don't know, I had a good tan or mixed-race
He was like medium, but if he was like white, he was easy
Like...
I remember doing like this can't be right
And he was, literally, when he made your character
The lighter skin is, the easier the game was
You know, all back
Mad, innit?
Fair play to him for not giving a f**k
That would be a good guess
To create as a side-port
On the Real Talking podcast
Thank you, Eddie
Thanks, Nobby
Thanks for listening anyway
Keep sending in the messages and emails
And that, as I said, apologies for missing last week
We didn't want to, we tried to do it Saturday night as well
But it just didn't work, didn't have enough time
Too much grafts and then all the stuff going on
Sunday couldn't happen, yeah
Just, the world weren't colliding
But we're back, bigger than ever
Harder than ever, more hornier than ever
Keep it real, peace
Oh, so sly, their chemistry's electric
You can't deny