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Hello everyone, he's Ash, I'm JD, this is the real talking podcast
And welcome to this week's episode
Now, you'll have to bear with us a little bit
Again, in the UK it is sweating again
But we're here to just entertain
Entertaining the people
It is weird, isn't it?
It's like just hot for two days and it gets too hot
And then it's just never that perfect
It's too hot to work in
Oh, it's definitely too hot for me
It's just muggy
I've been working essentially in an attic
It's a converted barn sort of thing
And I'm upstairs doing this bathroom
There's no breeze
So even though the windows are open
Plus the window above me, it's one of the VLUX windows
So even if there was a breeze
It's not coming above my head
It's no job
Also, you know we say to people we're not a football podcast
Maybe we should start saying we're not a weather podcast as well
Because we speak about the weather a lot
It's just the UK thing, no?
Yeah
But since we're not a football podcast
We do have to address it
Because there has been about five messages
Regarding the euros
Right, how do you want to do this?
Do you want to give your take on it first
And get mine and then God's messages or God's messages?
Well, if you've got an opinion on it
Then we'll shout them out
Last week obviously I was optimistic
Calling him the Messiah
The genius
I think he was over
You know what it was?
For me, once you're in the final
It doesn't matter, you're there
No one remembers the running to the final
They just remember if you win it
So obviously, shit build up
Shit tournament freeing up
And yeah, so I was optimistic that
Just the way the look was going with the overhead kick
Just the way it goes
And to be fair
When we did get the goal
I thought, fuck me, we're going to do it
And then yeah
It just really changed
Got the goal and changed to a more defensive formation
Obviously, because that makes sense
But you're on the front foot
You're under the cosh
That was under pressure
Just attack and don't change formation
If anything, go more attacking
There's no point
The way the game went after we scored
Everyone was like, bouncing off
For me, I was like, we're going to win this now
Then obviously it just changed those formations
Again, as it says
And more defensive and I think really killed impotence
Is that the right word?
Do you know what I mean?
I'm trying to use a really clever word there
But I'm trying to
Impotence is the word that you should be using
No, but obviously
It killed the momentum
Yeah
Ruin the rhythm
Yeah, I can't think of other words
To use for the analogy you were trying to go for
But you understand where I'm coming from
We were on the forward front
We scored
That was under the cosh
Just keep going
Don't go more defensive
That's what I was just
As you just said, it just killed the rhythm
But yeah, I was optimistic
I thought, we got to the final
Let's just see what happens
Well, I'm glad that I wasn't optimistic
Going into the game
Now I've actually popped to the pub for an hour or so
Just before
And that was the hard part of the day
To be fair, having a couple of points in the pub
Got back home, I was sleeping with my mates
And yeah, it was just terrible
I mean, because I don't like to talk during the football anyway
Unless you're talking about the game
Then I don't want other conversations
So I was a little bit annoyed
Because my mate and the missy
They're talking, they're having conversations
About life and fucking work and all that
And you know when you're having to
Up-bought your lip
Not to say, shut the fuck up
So I was a little bit on edge with that anyway
And then, yeah, as soon as from kick-off really
I just saw the negativity
The negative tactics
The lack of tactics
And the goal was just coming
I knew it was going to come
Obviously Spain's goal
And I was happy at that point then
Because I thought, right, now we'll see
The gear up, we'll see him go for it
But as soon as that equaliser went in
That was it, it was just as you were saying
Just straight back defensive again
No, you shouldn't be doing that
You've got to keep going
And especially when Spain did score the second goal
It was just not enough going forward still
Fair enough, yeah, he took Kane off
Watkins on around the six in the arc
Trying to bring in more attacking style
But it still wasn't enough
He needed to just literally throw everything down
And he was just too cautious still
I felt like he was almost making sub-phenalties again then as well
Just hoping that we'd get a second goal
To take it to the extra time
And maybe to the penalties
But it was just never enough
I was surprised when we did get the goal
And he kind of went to look
The way I was looking at it, like a 4-4-1-1
The way I was looking at the time
Obviously Watkins, Palmer just behind him
He was a 4-4-1-1
And I thought, you know, it's perfect
Tom to put Gordon on that
And not forward and take, sorry
It's perfect Tom to put Gordon on that
And just let him, he hasn't done anything called tournament
Just let him run at them
Just run
Yeah, I mean there's a few players that he could have bought on and done that
But he's just not allowing them to do that
So thankfully after the game
I mean it did take a couple of days
But he's, well, I'm quite annoyed with the way the media word it
Saying that he's resigned from the England's managing role
But he was out of contract
So he hasn't resigned
His contract's come to an end
And so he's not going to sign an extension
Yeah
It's laughable because he's hiring agents
Because he's expecting he'll be able to get a Champions League club in the Premier League
So he thinks he'll be able to manage the logs of Man City, Liverpool, Arsenal or Aston Villa
Because they're the only Champions League teams that we've got at the moment
And he's just got no chance
He's outlegged by all of them
He really is a wave of the fairies
Thinking that he can get into any Premier League team to prepare
I don't think he'd do well at Frolton
Even though they prefer a manager to just coach the team
Not be involved in recruitments or anything
But he just hasn't got it tactically
I really can't see a Premier League team wanting him
Obviously if Switch McKenna's been revolutioning for him
He wouldn't be able to take over McKenna's role either
I think he's delusional
I think he really is a proper space cadet
Now there's talks that the FA are going to wait 12 months for Pep
I've seen this
Do you really think that Pep would leave Man City and take the England role?
You know what, I'm going to go and go yes
And I'll tell you what
You think about it
How many friendlies do England have here?
Eight?
We've had a competition
We've got three international breaks before the end of the year
Yeah, but it's just three or two games
Each time
Some unqualified or whatever
It's not hard as you can have your break
And still be involved
All you have to do is just watch the videotapes
That's all you have to do obviously
So he could still live in Spain
Get to send the videotapes
Two weeks before the internationals
Fly back to England
Watch games in person
Have conversations
Do the training
I can see it
He doesn't need the money mate
I think he's the highest paid manager in the world
He's earned £20 million a season
Yeah, but Southgate was on
Only £6 million
Or £6.5 million
It's not going to downgrade to that
But the workload
It's not day in day out
It's not heavy
It's in terms of
It's not as demanding
It's just as you said
From now to Christmas
Free international breaks
So that's like six matches
So he has preferred six matches
From the summer to the winter
It's not hard for £6 million mate
It's not
I don't see where he goes now
He's done for the Bundesliga
No one else can afford him in the Bundesliga
He's done for Barcelona
They can't afford him
He ain't going to go to Rennes with Jude
Right, the Premier League
He's done Man City
I can't see him going anywhere
Maybe Arsenal in the future
I can't see him doing Man U
Obviously
And then the Italian side's come, they can afford him
No, unless he takes a massive pay cut
He's not going to be able to go to Italy
But he has said before that he wants to do a World Cup
Yeah, I'd see him personally preferring to go to Spain
And manage them
I couldn't see him doing England
But the main reason why I can't see him doing international coaching for a while
Is because he hasn't got an open checkbook to bring in whatever players he wants then
I agree with that
And two things though
Because he's Barcelona
Catalonia
They have that thing with Spain
So I don't know if he would take the Spain job
And Spain's manager isn't going to get sacked now before the World Cup
Because he's won the Euros
In terms of the top ten teams in the world
Argentina, they just won the Cup of America
They ain't going to sack their manager again
Portugal possibly
With Martinez, they didn't have a great one
Belgium, I think their generation is over
So I think England would be the best bear
He knows the players already
It's just
I would like that appointment
I would like the Jürgen Klopp one a bit more
Well
Since you've just mentioned Klopp
I'll give you more prediction
And all the listeners just make a note of this
That you heard it here first
So Ancelotti
Real Madrid's manager
He extended for another 12 months
Obviously Jürgen Klopp left Liverpool
At the end of last season
I can see Ancelotti
Retiring
Or stepping down as Real Madrid's manager
At the end of the next season
Jürgen Klopp will take it
And then Pep will go back to Barcelona
You think?
And then it will be the Pep and Klopp show
In La Liga again
Because I think Pep would do that just for
The rivalry
Even though it wasn't a massive rivalry
Like what we used to have back in the day
With Ferguson and Wenger
And Mourinho and everyone else at Fergie
I think just wherever Klopp goes next
I can see Pep going to their rival team
And I can just see Klopp taking over at Real Madrid
See I see Alonso
Going to Real Madrid
Because he signed in each of the 12 months
Yeah he extended it by 11 months
So I'm sure that was just
I'm sure that has a clause in there
Well again with Alonso I'm still thinking that
Ancelotti, Liverpool
I mean we're going to get on to James to be mad in a moment
But I think Ancelotti might have a poor season
Or not a good enough season
And then if Alonso is available for the taking
Liverpool will get him at the end of next season
Or try and poach him during the season
Or try to get Klopp back
I don't think he will come back
I think it's too stressful isn't it?
You know but money talks
Money does talk, it really does
It will be interesting to see what happens obviously
It's like a merry-go-round
But it will be interesting to see what they do with England
They've done the England man, they were Sam Aledon, Hot Sun, South guy
Fair enough
But I think if you can get Pep
You get Pep
The British media being typical British
Are saying that it needs to be an English man to be the next manager
But who's the best English manager at the moment would you say?
But the women's team's manager is I'm sure Swedish
But they don't care about the women's team doing that
Yeah but do you get what I'm saying?
It doesn't have to be from that country like Martiners
It's too much of an old-fashioned mindset
And again I think because the newspapers
And the logs of talks for Sky Sports
They're a dying thing these days really
So I think they're trying to cling on to the older audience
By saying this kind of thing that needs to be an English man
Well let me put it to you then mate
Because you said that about Pep
Barlim, he hasn't got millions to spend, do you think Pep wins the Euros
With that England team?
Yeah
Because it doesn't matter how much of an open checkbook that he has got
With every team that he's ever been with
He's still a great coach
He didn't buy Foda
De Bruyne, yeah he was OK at Chelsea
And then obviously left
And then went to Wolfsburg, done really well in the women's league
And then obviously Pep bought him from there
And then he still coached you to get better
He's not one little turn of Scott McTominay into Kevin De Bruyne now
But he is able to bring the best out of players
And he's got the tactics, you know it's not
It's not always the prettiest of football to watch with Man City
But with the players available
With what Southgate just had
Hands down he would have been able to win it definitely
No I agree
The book is vibrant for the next England manager
As an English person
He's Eddie Hay
Right
No that doesn't excite you does it?
Does it make you think, we've got a chance
Even though he just played better football
Yeah again he's a better coach, he's got better tactics than Southgate
But as I say there's not many English coaches that come to mind
Let alone stand out to make you think yes we want that person
You know Lampard's one of the odds favourites as well
Foda Chelsea, done well at Derby
But so did Bruyne
What's your only doing night?
Plymouth is he?
Plymouth Argyll yeah
I do think with Lampard though
I do think that running out of Chelsea
He didn't owe Kaya Everton to keep him up
Not spending no money
But I do feel that Chelsea runners defined him as a shit coach now
I think if he didn't have
I think he won two games like 17 or something like that
But his first intervix
Didn't he go there 4-bit first
And he done really well
He got on my Issa Mount, Abraham into the team
Remember when he had
And he done really well there
And obviously he left because I was
What did he leave that first time?
He left because he got sacked
The first time round
I thought he was like an interim
The second time was the interim
Yeah so the first time
We did well for the first 3 months whatever
And then he just went down the hill
Lampard's too much the same as Southgate
He's an arm round, all pally pally
Get him playing polo in the swimming pool and that again
Which I mean it's a bit fucking
Sometimes you need a bit of Neil Warnock
I'll fucking die for you like
A bit of a Graham Sooness
I've played the game
I'd say you're someone to tell it as it is
Fucking to want to kick it around
Just someone to tell it many like
It's a
It's
I mean again I'm not really that arsed
Who takes over as the next thing with the manager
Until it happens
And we see an improvement
It's not arsed
So
I got roped into it
With the last Euros in the World Cup
Thinking that we were going to do great
Obviously back to back Euro bonus
You know yeah we did alright
But
Yeah I just knew
I just knew at the start of these tournaments
That I'm not going to get roped in
And even at the final, even though it was Innie
And you have to be in it to win it
I just thought nah
I just couldn't get the same enthusiasm as you did
No I just, for me obviously
Because as I said we had that good
Nah, I wasn't going to say I couldn't run in then
We had that easy side
And we play terrible but it doesn't matter
Using the phone or like
You know what I mean
You've turned up all the rest but
You've just got to fucking this last game
Just leave every corner
I don't think
I don't think anyone did actually
Err
But again because you've been told to
Yeah some sides
Stay in position whatever
You're trying to do what the manager says
But it's one of them where
There should have been like hang on lads
Between themselves, look we know how to play the game
Let's just go for it as is
I'll take you some of the messages
Basically saying what we've just said or
Yeah there was a few just along the same lines
Erm
Err
There was
Lee who
No I'll get onto Lee's in a minute
Erm James
As always he sent two in again
He loves it
Right listener
He loves it
We love him
You were just telling me before like
You know your favourite
And his messages in sports you know you can't wait to read his messages
Two weeks in a row
Two emails in a row
The underlap whatever it is
The undertake yeah
Can't wait for it
Coming in your ears 20.30
Err
So his first email was
Saying finally the shit you erode is over
Bring on the prem
Erm
Yeah Lee message along the same lines
I think it was err
Erm
Now that the erode is over
How do you think the prem is going to go
I will get onto that properly in a minute
I will read it
Erm but yeah the literally was just a few
Asking how we felt about it
And er yeah
I mean it's been 20 minutes well
18 minutes because the first two was talking about
So 18 minutes
Of football erm
And it's not over yeah
And we're not a footballing podcast
Well not about that footballing
Well to be fair
The stuff that I've got coming up
It is a fucking boomerang swing
Erm
So yeah
We'll go onto Lee's one then
Erm so how are we feeling
About the premier league
How do we think the premier league season coming up
Is gonna be
Last season or
I can't remember if it was just the season finished
Chelsea are gonna win it and I've gotta stick by that now
Because I fucking said it
I can see Chelsea having a good season
I really can
New manager bounce is that what you're feeling
I just feel like
As you just said
Pachettino's more on arm around the show
I've got oh don't worry about it
I'll have a day off as well this season seems a bit more
Nah lads
Fucking have you
Well there definitely is a few Chelsea players
That need a kick off
Yeah I will not say this but obviously you had that thing with
Ends up
Obviously doing that chance and obviously
To fuck the few that his teammates off
Erm but that'd be interesting
Now er but
For me Wait did you see the clip
Yeah they're on the buzzer now
Yeah so if anyone hasn't seen it
Erm it's
After the Copa America where Argentina
Won it and
The camera was mainly just focused
On Enzo Fernandez
Erm now I don't speak
The native tongue but there were subtitles
And er the slagging off
The French players
Saying mum's from Nigeria
Dad's from Cameroon
Passport is French or something like that
Erm
Now I get it
It's bad but
Was it that racist
Because it's not like the same
Racist words
You know what I find
With Argentinians is that like
With Brazil and Ecuador and
Other countries around that you get like a mix
Of players boy
Black like that's
The South American look you know what I mean
There's a bit of like
It is multicultural And then with Argentina
There's just they're all white mate
Well I think that
There's a slight hint to the skin
There's South American and I
Do you know what I mean though compared to
Brazil
Ecuador
Europe I want to say no not Uruguay
No because yeah there was that
Thing with Crabani a couple of years ago
Which was similar it wasn't a
Song that was sang but
It was just unnecessary
You've bought and he's singing about
France in a different tournament
Because that's the thing it was a different
Tournament so there was no need for it
Just let it go
They've won the cup
Copa America they've had a few
Beers obviously yeah did you see
Messi was quick enough to say post
As soon as everyone was calling him racist that he was
Back home as to say he wasn't on the coach
Singing the song I didn't see that
Did you see
Cucarela after
Spain and England
No I turned the TV roll off mate
No no so it's only from Tiktok
I've seen the videos so the after party
And then the
Not the open bus
Tour but like
The thing on the
Live town hall where they did a speech
So he was
Just still lagging from
After the final whistle
Singing Cucarela he drinks
Estrella
Harlan looking in his pocket
Or whatever but yeah
Lagging but fair play to him
He's not
A good singer I mean it's not the best
Of left backs either
He wasn't even
Even with Spain I was feeling him
As left back but he had a decent tournament didn't he
Yeah
He's only
Been Chelsea's number one left
Back because Chilwell was injured
Most of the season Sam's Luke Shaw
But
I mean he's a decent lovely
Left back
Yeah
Wanting to get him on loan that season
But it's only because Chelsea bonnie locked
Seven million as a loan fee
He didn't do it
I think Chelsea
Good season
You know what I'm going to say
Chelsea
Has to finish Champions League
If not win it but if not
I'm going to go Arsenal to win it
Well
There were statements
This morning from
Whoever it is
I don't know if it was the Premier League
Or FA or something
Regarding Man City's trial
So they're still saying
That November
There's going to be the final hearing
Regarding the 115 charges
And it will be
The final decision
So he's buying drag on that
If they're saying November is when it's all
Going to properly air out
And that surely means that they're confident
Enough that some of their
Charges are going to stand
What they're not just doing before the season
Rather than fuck it up
Not halfway through but a couple months in
Either way I don't want Man City to win it
But it's got to get at that
Routine because it's getting a bit boring
Now the Bundesliga
League 1
1
That wasn't even planned
Yeah
So yeah
I feel like
It needs to mix up, it needs to change
I like when a different team wins it
Well yeah we don't need Man City to win it
Four years in a row
But I have seen that
Because of these charge
Charges
Hanging over Man City
It's deterring some players
From wanting to join them
But they've got that good of a squad
I mean the
Second, starting 11
Could be better than most
Premier League teams
It's not a lot they'd really need to bring
Any players in
But yeah
I think come November
That should be a bit of a twist
For them then
I'd like to see
I mean
Not saying that I want them to get a lot of point deduction
But I want to see them actually get punished
For what's happened, whether it's a big massive
Final or something
Because it doesn't matter if they get
20 points, they'll still
Finish in the top four Man City world
Chelsea
I can't see them getting into the top four
They've got cold palms
It's cold
Yeah
But what I don't want to happen
Is the
Premier League to follow suit
As Euros did
Where the lesser teams just go
Autodefensive and then
I like when there's goals in there
I like when teams go up and hopefully it's Premier League
Because last Premier League season
I don't think it wasn't great
I feel like there was better seasons
But we still had the logs of Luton
That were coming out with a 6-1 win and this and that
They were always going
I'm not being funny, Luton are a shit club
They're a shit club, they don't belong in the Premier League
I know
They deserve to be there
But they're just a shit club
The logo is a hat
It's a hat
It's just not
You're not going to get there again
Don't worry about it
I want a competitive one
They're just too far off it
You can get
Two or three teams
The rest just need to be competitive
But we'll see
Hopefully it's a good season
Yeah, I think
It's going to be more
In the mix with the top
Eight essentially
Obviously Man United are doing
Bits at the moment
There's not much transfer activity between
The rest of the top four clubs
That touches on to James'
Second email
Which was 70mL for
Euro
Which is the young 18-year-old
That they've just purchased from Lille
I thought it was 52mL
So yeah, it's 52mL
And then
There's add-ons
That can potentially take up to
70mL
Isn't it man, how they've signed a player
2mL and sold Mason Green for 27mL
Plus add-ons
You would say Mason Green would be a better player
You would
But there's still the connotations about
All the allegations
What didn't stick
Never went to court
At the end of the day
He didn't go to court
So he's in a sense of proven girl
I suppose
Apparently there was a couple of Premier League clubs that wanted him
But it's about himself
As well at the end of the day
He could have gone to another Premier League club
But you know what this country is like
It would just be constant abuse
All season
It won't be bad living in the South of France
Will it?
Mike Millinens
But I won't say that
Obviously it's good for my
Newsbooks because you're going through the academy
Yeah and then again
They've done a role with the
So there'll be a 50%
Salon fee as well
But it's on profit
So this is where all contracts get a bit
I don't know
Just down to the
Dot and the O's and cross and the T's
So it's on the profit
So if they're selling for 60mL
Then we get 50% of their profit
To be an extra 15m
On top base
But still it's still an extra
Bonus for
A player that we haven't had for 2 and a half
Years essentially in our starting line
I mean you go back
On to earlier episodes
People don't know my thoughts and views
About the player
You know generational talent
Was always spouted when he first broke
From into the starting line
But yeah
Fair play to him, he's moving on to France
And he's
Potentially going to have a great career still
Which is not in the Premier League
I think
I still think Man City are going to win the league
Next season
So
I think if Man City, Arsenal
Will still be there about
I don't think they'll get as close
I don't think they'll be literally
A point or two in between it again
But I think they'll be second
I think
You know what they're going to get
Back into the top four, third or fourth
I can't say
So you think they'll drop out next season
I think with the added
Games of the Champions League
So even though they had the Europa
Was it the Europa or
Europa conference
Even though they had
European games
Last season anyway, I think just with the Champions
League, again I think they'll do
Well in it to be fair, I think they'll get out of the group
Stage, even though they've not been announced
The games yet
Or if they have, I haven't seen them
But I can say I'm getting into
The knockout stages anyway because
Emery's just a fucking great
Coach I know
Yeah he's good at like that, I want them for him competitions
Well that's it, he's good in Europe
So I think with the added games
The added pressure
I think
I think they'll struggle a little bit
In the Premier League to be fair
But still in the mix
Around like fourth or fifth
Chelsea
I think they'll probably
Fifth, sixth, maybe seventh
Tottenham
For me Tottenham's going to fall off this season
Yeah I think Anshat
Started to show his, not his true colours
I say that, but they've seen a lot of young people
Actually, young footballers
Yeah
Sometimes what you need are really young
Well I think it's
I was going to glass over that
Until you started to laugh
But yeah I think Ansh
Wants to try and wean out
The
He wants to wean out
The negativity, so
A lot of when they wanted
Man City to beat Arsenal
Just so Arsenal wouldn't win
The Premier League and that
I think he wants to try and get that attitude
Out of the club, but that isn't going to happen
Because Spurs are Spurs
So yeah I think they'll
Be lucky to finish in a
European spot this season
Brighton need to make a bit of a comeback
Or I can't say that
They've not
Really done much
Managerial wise
They've all achieved for you as an ABAC club
So I think
It's really going to be a battle of the top six
And who can get back into it
But what about
Liverpool
Yeah I think they'll be
So log
Forth, fifth
No chance we'd say you don't think they're going to be
Battling for the Prem now
I don't think they'll be battling for the Prem no
I really do think it's going to be
Hard
I think the first couple of months
Like what we said about Lampard with Chelsea
The first couple of months would be a bit of a
New manager bounce
And then like reality
Or heat
We still don't know how many players are going to go
But it's not looking like the
Owners are going to want to spend much money either
So if he's
Going to stick with the same players he's got
Are they going to be able to adapt
His style of playing, his philosophy
Because it's going to be a big uptime
From the clockwise
So yeah I think
I think they're going to struggle
As I said the first month, two months
Maybe three it'll be alright
But come the winter
They'll start dipping off I reckon
So yeah
Similar to when
They had the injuries
When Van Dijk was out most of the season
I think they'll have that dip
Maybe have a bit of a late stride again
Probably come back up
But yeah
No higher than fourth
I can't see Liverpool finishing
This is just all
Predictions, speculation
We've got to decide before we get the
Fully transfers, the ins and outs
I think there's
Four games played before the end of the transfer window
Oh no
It's always hard anyway
You don't want to sign someone before they get injured as such
Yeah
No we should properly come back to this
Probably when all the signings have been done
I think we will do, we won't spend
Half an hour talking about football at the start
Of the Premier League season
I think maybe next week we'll probably not speak
About football mate
Because we're not, maybe just a bit more about the way
We're interested
Pre-season games going on at the moment
Which to be fair, I'm looking forward to
The United and Rangers tomorrow
Yeah
Got beat 1-0 the other day
Against Rosenberg
They're in the middle of their season
So they're all fully fit, the team already knows each other
And it was just all the young lads
So to be fair
They should have beat us
Probably about 4-6-0
But the keeper had a fucking well day
When it's just one of them days and the keeper's saving everything
And they literally scored
I think it was the first or second minute
Of added time at the end
So yeah
It was a shame for the lads
But good for Rosenberg
So yeah Rangers tomorrow
4 o'clock kick off
In the afternoon
Not in the morning
No I was just thinking like is that like
America or something?
No, in Edinburgh
So they've still got to the US for their pre-season
So it's all over the place
Each pre-season
This one is in America
I think
I have got the list of games on my phone
But I don't want to keep talking about football
So I'm not going to get it off
We are playing, I think it's like New York
Maybe a game in Texas
Or something like that
But yeah there's a couple of games over in America
And then it's back
Obviously Community Shield against Man City
The week before the Premier starts
And then you know you kick the Premier League off
On the Friday night as well
Who have they got on the Friday? Do you know?
It is full of first game of the season
Greater than my fucking heart
Well it should be for your heart, CJ
Come on, you look
To get people back here
You need a fucking big game on that Friday night
Look, I don't set the fucking game
Who the fuck in London seems that is
Well that's all it is
Yeah so
We've James moaning about
Yenni Laro
Liverpool wanted him
Real Madrid were the main contenders
To sign him
Man, he just paid the most money for him
Well I think
He's got to make
Why should he come to Man U?
He's got a couple extra pounds in his pocket
Well as far as I know he's getting 150 grand a week
So 18 years old
Yeah, Davidny
And then there was no
So
Real Madrid would have just let him
Sit on the bench and then
Be part playing for the next couple of years
Until it was
The right time
Yeah, you know his defence
Needs a big fucking awakening
So he'll be pretty much
In the starting line up straight away
Are they still going after
Billy?
Yeah, so again
It's agreed with the player
So they're still going to go
But then who will sit on the bench then?
Because obviously you've got Martinez
There's a lot of games though, ain't there?
Martinez will be starting as long as he's fit
So yeah
It'll just be rotational
I think we're obviously on the bench around
Would you then mate?
What, you don't want to sit in Brian E. Cold Manchester?
No, no
I live in Madrid
So you'd rather sit on the bench in Madrid
On 60 grand a week?
Yeah
Maybe that's from my perspective
I'd rather have the extra
Fucking 50 grand a week on
I'd do it for 60 grand a year, mate
Ash would have
I'd fucking run my bollocks off as well, mate
Oh, guys, good job you don't need to
Use them much these days
Rob, now
We are all done with the football chat
Yeah
Thank you for staying with us people who don't enjoy football
And has bared with us through the whole
Euro tournament
I don't think we spoke about it too much though, have we really?
I mean
You know
It's been topical though
For a non-football
Podcast
We haven't covered it quite well
And not too much
But we're on to the feature anyway
There is other stuff
But we have spoken about it for a little bit too long
So we're going to get the feature
The one and only
Cracked out
Oh, sexy could have
What is going on?
You know
When you lie
You press the wrong thing, didn't you?
These things happen, you know
It's because you should have been fucking pressing that
Hey
What's wrong with you?
You know I was
Expecting just to sing it to be honest right there
Because I saw the fucking bar
Moving, I was like why the fuck is Karina
Hunking herself so confused?
It's been a hot day
It really is hot
And that's why I can't wait to get home
Have some beverages
So
Our first one
Is from Lauren
And she says
Hey
I'm so
Alone
People still short hand texting
Just stop
So this was a thing when we was young
And mobile phones first come out
So Ali G is the best example
Oh, okay
Batteries
I don't really have
A simple message
These days to be fair
I do have
A lot of my dad for example
I don't know if it's age
Or maybe
Dyslexic or just reading
As he writes a text message
So a lot of the time I'll have to
Ring him up and say what the fuck
Are you trying to say right now
Because it's just
It's not hard, it's not quite what you're writing
Especially when so much is predicted
Like just start
To talk about that
Oh yeah that's what I want to say
Press that fucking word
But no, he really is bad
I don't know
Too many people to fucking
Say really
Do that and it's so annoying
But no I don't really have
That issue of
Back in the day when it was
Can you, the letter U
Come, C-U-M
To the number
Or was that
Any more than so many characters
Classes to messages or something
When it was all fucking the old Nokia
3210 and all that
It's like no TikTok
Literally as it is
Yeah
The 32 and 3310s have been out for ages
So
I think it was still basically
The same but it was just like
A modern screen
Yeah still got the snake on it
Oh yeah it did have snake
I don't know if you could go online
To any of the apps or anything
No this one I seen
Online was basically
No TikTok, no Instagram
It's just a phone
Does it have a camera?
No as far as I'm aware
It did but I might be wrong on that one
If I could have that
With a camera
I'd be fucking getting it all day long
Because all I want
Is the camera on the phone so I can take pictures of my jobs
Which I don't do all the time
Because I'll fucking forget, you know what I'm on
But yeah I don't want to be
Well I don't do it anyway
But I don't want to be able to have the choice
To go on Facebook or fucking WhatsApp
Or Instagram while I'm at work
I just want to ring, text
And then take pictures of jobs
That's all I need to do, don't need anything else
You know also
I was just lowering the question there
Do you remember the old one I texted you where you had to like
Click the non-valid
For big
How exhausting would that have been
Obviously you're on about
You just wrote a predictive text
To be fair yeah
I probably would want
The 3310 to be out
Just tight and all
Blackberry saw that
Where it was the keypad on the bottom of the phone
Something like that
I think that's a Blackberry
That was a thing
So Blackberry is just that phone
It's just that BDN
Which was Blackberry Messenger
Yeah but why does the phone
Why does no one have a Blackberry now
I think just because
Because literally everyone had a Blackberry
Yeah I think it's just because it's the hype of
Everyone wanting an iPhone or a Samsung
That was such a good fucking phone as well
I don't think I actually had one
No I had two
The best one I ever had mate
I think it was a Samsung
Like a really long thin one
And flick it
As you would flick like a pen knife
Yeah I'm trying to remember
And it had like a tiny long spree
And oh mate that was fucking brilliant that one
Add loads I don't crack the iPhone
I don't know what I did to it
I paid like 50 quid for a second from all over
I know
It's mad ain't it
Add loads
Fucking obviously the 33
Turned back into that I had a 32
10 star with
Nostalgia
The worst thing though
When Sony Arab songs had
Put the thing so everyone could listen to
You know like have the speaker
Oh my god on the back of the boards
And everyone's like are you listening to music
Put headphones in
Is that sort of thing do people still do that
I don't know I haven't been on them for so many years
But that's
The modern version of that
People walking hands free on the phone
So having it on loudspeaker
Walking talking
I know that was a hey what's wrong
With you a little while ago
I still see it all the time
You know what I see obviously because he was
Someone
Speaking on loudspeaker in a 22
Played BMW
And his other hand had a cigarette
And he was driving
On his knees
And again he obviously
Holds the steering wheel with a cigarette
Hand turning the wheel
I'll steer with a knee sometimes if I'm
Refilling my cup
If it's a long drive and I've got a flask
And I'm refilling my cup with a bit of tea or coffee
Whatever
So your mam had the cigarette
And then every time he
Had
Something with his knees
Didn't he
Put the phone down for me on bluetooth
By BMW
I don't know if I've told this
On the pod before but
Back in the day before
Even this fan that I've got at the moment
Doesn't have
Well it has bluetooth I just don't know the code to connect
But before hands free
In the cars and that was really a thing
I used to put my phone on loudspeaker
And then wedge it on my shoulder
So in between the t-shirt
So the
Speaker part where
The microphone was near my mouth
And then the speaker would be bomb at ear
So that would be my hands free
Back in the day
I mean these days it's just the headphones
Yeah to
To physically hold it
And then still have it on loudspeaker
Just put it next to your ear
Stop being a gobshite
Fucking people with wrong hands
So
Yeah whoever's texting you
With fucking short
And just fucking individual letters
Wow just no need
I have a feeling that this might come back in
Because I went outside and everyone was dressed up
Like it's the early 2000s
And you're like N-Sync
So like let me tell you
Yeah
Someone was wearing
Really baggy cargos
A black vest
With a black short sleeve shirt
With really thin sunglasses
The girls were wearing
Long demon skirts with vests
And like those
The wedges
Yeah but they're not like wedges
They're like I don't know what you'd call them mate
They have the straps
Basically they look like a brat style
Do you remember like the brat style
Yeah they're still a thing as well
But I remember the knowledge is brat style
So that's like when I went out
That's what everyone was wearing that corner
So maybe it's coming back in
When lads start wearing the
Black and flanks t-shirts
Again then we know that we're
Coming to the end of humanity
Like Guy Fury
Donners, Divings and Drivers
Whatever it was called
If you start wearing t-shirts like that again
Fucking, I mean not that all you swear
On that but
That starts coming back in again
We need to just take America's fucking stance
And start shooting everyone on that
Shooting up in the schools and shit
Yeah speaking of shoot ups
Fucking Trump
Bastard didn't they
How close was it as well have you seen the 3D
Thing from the bird like
The animation that someone's done
How close it actually was have you seen that
Because of his head movement
Because he's turned that last minute
I've seen so much stuff
Because there was
Videos of people in the crowd
That were shouting
On the roof he's got a gun and whatever
And that's about 2 minutes before it actually happens
So obviously secret service
And whatever not doing their job
Again there's all the
Conspiracies
Conspiracy call man
Coming out about it
That it was meant to happen
But still Amy
Just to get the ear
That's fucking, that's what faith that is
I'll just legit
Because he does turn his head a lot when he talks
Yeah because he addresses the crowd
As a people passer
And like anyone else that would have been a perfect shot
Because he just moved
Nicked his ear
I love that thing like
That many men
So many of them
Did you see
Hulk Hogan
No I've seen a little thing of it
I didn't watch the whole thing though I've just seen it
So he's just there
I don't even know what he was giving a speech for
But he's just like
Yeah literally he's just
Looking and when they talk a shot
And my hero
That's what I had to give him for the Trump
But he's ripping up the vest and all that
He's a real
American
Why is Trump Hogan's
Hero not ending at the same age
Probably yeah
Because Trump's 78 I think
So Hulk Hogan's
Probably yeah but not far off
I'd say he's yeah
Hulk Hogan's look old all the time
Didn't he because of why he had to fight his head
Because he just couldn't let it go
Yeah because even
In the 90s when WWE
Was what it was called
He was just fucking
He was about 50 then weren't he
Mad
But yeah he was just fucking
Busted right he got back up as well and he just like
Fist pumping the air
America
Fuck yeah
So yeah
We're all about politics on this
The real talkings and versatile
Yeah all the versatility
So on to Karl
And Karl has said
Why do lorries have to get so
Close just back off
Yeah I think because
Obviously they don't give a fuck
Because they're in that big
You know the big wagon
Such in the lorry yeah
In the lorry but now there's people calling
Wagons you know
Because what are we
About artics because there's different
Versions that's what I'm saying is wagons
Lorries artics well yeah
So depending on the
College of what they're carrying
That's a tall mate fucking
Love it seven tonne
But yeah I'll get this all the time
Yeah I think it's because they feel like they're
Industrial because they're bigger bikes clearly
Yeah and it's annoying because like they
In general they can see over
The vehicle that they're in front of they think
They can react quick enough
But I'll see enough accidents
Where the fucking lorry's gone into the back of
About four or five cars because they're
Too close and that
Now I've got a bit of a voice for Karl here
Because as I say I see
Heavy all the time
Just slow down even more
Don't brake check them just
Ease the foot off the accelerator
And then just piss them
Up especially when it's the road works
You're already down to two lanes or one lane
And they're right up your arse just slow down
Just let them
Know that you know that they're there
And you're willing to take a little bump
But yeah I'll do
I'll get it all the time and
It's so
Annoying look because you see
They're up each other's arses as well
Not in a
Guy way you know driving way
When two lorries are
Right there
When they can't see in front of the other one
Just ease up
The worst thing is when like an arctic's trying to
Arbitrary an arctic
You let it go that's
It's always downhill as well
The one with hardly anything on the back
Once to fucking once from there
Once to have a kid but yeah
I say too much of it
But you know
They're not going to stop because my brother used to be a lorry
Driver as well and I did say
I had this conversation I was like I bet you're one
Of these lorry makers that just pulls out
No indicator just pulls out
He says yeah fuck them
You're the problem and I told him
He didn't care
Lorry driver
Now
Laura has come up
With a fucking good one
Right
Hope you're ready for this you might want to take a seat
Because this is going to sit you down
If you aren't sitting
She says
Hey
I'm the best
Flying ants
Oh my god
What the actual fuck
Yes
We had this the other day
He was flying ant day
I don't know why it's a thing
Why they all come out at the same time
And then they go
There must have a psychic link or something
Something
Intuition with the earth
Of like I don't know
Fucking alignment with the stars
Of when to come out at the same time
I was walking at dog the other day
I didn't notice much
While I was driving
Because in the morning they weren't out
And then on the way back over work
I'm just thinking I'm hitting
Normal bugs on the motorway and that
And it was while I was walking at dog
You notice how many people have got fucking
Ant nests underneath
The drives or whatever
It just hoards above
And it was horrible
I feel the pain
No I get that
Because I can't remember was it last night
So Thursday
Yes day as the podcast goes out
Or Thursday
We went out
And I've
Loads of them I
Haven't seen them since
Didn't see them before
Do you remember when
Black ants and red ants used to fight
When you're kids and you just go and watch them
But the little fucking flying ants
Giving it to someone as well
Picking them up and dropping them and stuff like that
Did that actually hurt?
I mean it must have that's what they're doing
Since they think it's like 10 times
Their own body weight they can lift
So you think if they're getting dropped
From like a foot high is that really
Going to hurt? I just remember like on the
Island where we used to live
And I kid you not it must have been half
Black ants on one side and the other
Side red ants and like
Every year like out of the blue
That psychic link like we're fucking
Having them this year they all come
Out at this one bit and converge
Like I mean it was
I don't know how many there was
It seemed hundreds if not thousands
Flying ants everywhere
See flying ants just dropping down from the
Sky like fucking
Like a fucking scene from Braveheart
Or something Kenny
You will never take out Antu
Ahhh
They are it's just horrendous
Look
Because as you all know I'm a hairy
Man I've got the hair I've got the beard
They ain't getting to the chest or anything
But still
I'm walking a dog I'm fucking
Swatting them off the dog because they're like
Landing on him thinking ah this is
Comfy fucking so I'm swatting them off
Him he's thinking that I'm trying to play or
Something so he kept fucking jumping up up at me
I'd fucking get him landing on the
Glasses jumping in the fucking
Flying into the beard and you know
When you're freaking out or ice
Ventura you ruin my hair you ruin my hair
And they're in the beard
You know you just start ripping at
Every single one of them
I don't sit in need of it
You know what I haven't seen a
Red Ant as well after thinking about it for years
I can't say I'm
Looking out for them
Last year the ants were getting into my house
No not last year the year before sorry
Was that a Red Ant?
No and what is the difference? What are some red?
I don't know maybe
Some are stronger than the others
I probably should have done
A little bit of recon on this
Before reading this out
I mean not that we'd have enough time now
We didn't know where it was going to go mate
I mean I didn't expect to be talking about football
For fucking 40 minutes but you know
We're not a footballing podcast
Yeah there was ants coming into the house
So I found where they were coming from
Silicon the load fat the little hole
And then
They didn't turn up again but then
A couple of weeks ago
They've managed to
Close the door
It shuts and it locks
But there's still just a bit of a gap
So they were coming through that
So I had to get some of the little bait traps
Put it there and I've left it there as well
So as any new ones come
They can see their dead bread ring
And know not to fuck around
I was going to say obviously
All the finance was Thursday
Which is obviously yesterday
But I've noticed that three neighbours
Have stuck all like her
Was he salt that people would stick out
I think salt works
Or sugar
No the confidence sugar
Yeah that's it
So whatever it is, three of the neighbours obviously
Because we had all the ants out here yesterday
Obviously the neighbours done in two hours
So they're like no come out
They come out once a year
And it's like boiling water in it as well
Why are you going to fucking kill them like that
Just put a little
Determined thing
To fucking mass my eyebrow
Did you ever used to see the videos
This was before TikTok was a thing
It was on YouTube
I used to fucking date dive as you used to do
It was a geyser that used to go around
Melt a load of
Aluminium or
Something
Pour it into an ants nest
And then you dig it out
Mate madness
If you haven't seen it
Look them up, literally just like
I don't know, YouTube
Fucking melted metal in ants nest
And you'll see the videos
They were callous
Like dig it out
And it can just be, obviously because you've seen
All of the structures
Because they'd be like little tunnels and then it'd be a big fucking thing
So
Kind of like a
Bonsai tree of sorts
The way you've got the individual branches
And then a spurt of leaves
Some of them are like six foot deep
Or something
You'd think how did he have enough
Lead or aluminium, whatever it was
To pour into it in the first place
I mean it was a shame for the ants
Because obviously it would be an active nest
And that's Matt's murder
It doesn't matter what animal, human
Creature, being
That you are, it's Matt's murder
But yeah
It looked fucking cool
I don't know if he'd have sold it as art or something
But yeah, if you haven't seen it
You'll go on a little fucking
Date dive into it now
But have a look at them, they were fucking
Nice little videos to watch
Just short as well, not three minutes long
This is that much to fucking see
Just kill the ants
Dig it and then
Clean it a lot, look at this one
Maddening, yeah, give it a nose
And on that Matt's murder
We are going to have to call it a bug there
Do you want to remind me about the Caravan story next week?
It was something I was going to talk about
I'd say, a lot of football chat today
So remind me about the Caravan story
Mate, you're sending me this Caravan story
Applying that
Yeah, it's hot enough
I mean
Worthy enough to talk about, hence why I said
Remind me about it
Yeah, we can't always talk about football
We've got to talk about fucking
Public shit, flying ants
Proper podcast mate
Yeah, all the
Audiversity, let's say
As always, links are
No negativity
Apart from James when he talks about you
But never mind about that
We'll get into it in a couple of weeks
When the Prem does a bad stuff
I think
40 or something
I have no idea
It's coming up, around the corner
Couple of weeks, we'll be there
Yeah, so as always, links are in the description
Send in your emails, your Whatsapps
I mean
Fucking Twitter and all that
But links are always in the description
Send them in, keep them coming
We've got to get back onto the dinner party as well
Because there was a couple of them
Over the last couple of weeks
More suggestions on them
So again, remind me to
Send you one that we can do for next week
The listeners are on the edge of their seats
Waiting for next week
Caravan, dinner party
Fucking arm
No football next week
Fucking arm
And yeah, as always
Fuck Sam Smith
Keep it real
We love yous, peace
Chatter that's waiting
Oh so sly
Their chemistry's electric
You can't deny